[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ] [  Textboard ] [  Wiki ]

/dep/ - Depression

Depression
[]
Email
Subject
Comment

File
Embed
Password (For file deletion.)

  [Go to bottom]  [Catalog]  [Reload]  [Archive]

File: 1719289134478.jpg (1.66 MB, 1282x1862, 641:931, __tachibana_arisu_idolmast….jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.293220[Reply]

>why cant picrel be real?
I really fucking hate learning how computers work. I fucking hate it.
Ever since I started this fucking degree 3 years ago its been nothing but a perpetual torture. I think I say enough when I say shit like Calculus or Lineal Algebra was 100 times more enjoyable for me than anything related to computer science. I gotta be honest though: I m a lazy piece of shit, but I m the kind of lazy piece of shit who studies solely so I dont have to be at the end of the fucking semester doing a fucking "final exam", in order to prove that I m able to pass the course, because that means I gotta learn all the semester's subjects just so I can pass that stupid fucking piece of shit of an exam.

I hate studying. I hate learning. I hate the smugness, shit teaching and the attitude most teachers have and I hate the happiness and eagerness of the people surrounding me. I hate the idea of working and having to wake up every morning so I can keep my sorry ass alive.
I m aware that being a NEET is a dead-end road, specially when you are not on welfare, but I cant stop feeling like a sack of shit every god damn day of my life because of this. I know what has to be done and what I have to do if I dont do it.

I have nothing to look forward to in my life. The sole reason I havent killed myself is because I know my parents would probably die because of that (already have 1 deceased sibling, and the other one aint doing to well in life), and also because I cant bring myself to do it. It terrifies me. I have no access to guns, so the only way would be to jump off a building, but regardless of it, the idea of death, or the idea of "pain of death", is the thing that bugs me the most. I dont want to suffer the ultimate pain that may last minutes! Even if they are just a few seconds, I bet the pain will feel like an eternity, not to mention the fear I will experience during the fall.

Yet I m sick of this shit. I m stuck here. Why the fuck am I subject to all of this? Why the fuck was I brought to this world? Why cant I have the drive or ambition that those maggots sons of bitches of my peers have? Why must I be such an unhappy piece of shit?

Of course, I know many of the answers to those questions, but still. It doesnt deprive me from wanting to create a hole through my wall from the mere anger of having to deal with this bullshit. Why cant I just be left alone in my room? What place iPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


File: 1716159891587.png (7.69 MB, 8192x5322, 4096:2661, 2000-2020BestDemMargins.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.292370[Reply]

I used to cut myself but my parents forced me to stop.

Now I make maps to keep myself from committing suicide.

What do you guys do
34 posts and 9 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.292921

>>292919
can you post some please?

 No.292922

>>292370
I wish I had the patience to do that. When I have the urge to numb my mind, I drown myself in sims 2 for hours until I want to sleep, no one's stopping me from cutting but I just don't like how it permanently scars, so it's a last measure kinda thing if I'm not sane enough to reason with myself. I've been building a cool mormon family in sims 2 which brings me joy.

 No.293188

File: 1719118975362.png (695.68 KB, 3000x5000, 3:5, imperial city 7 labels.png) ImgOps iqdb

>>292921
Here's two different fantasies, one is based off ancient Rome, the other a modern city planned to house 7000 people per km2.

 No.293189

File: 1719119076080.jpg (511.23 KB, 1062x1683, 118:187, Aria.jpg) ImgOps iqdb


 No.293219

>>293188
Ngl, thats a sick looking map. Looks fun and interesting.
How did you make it? Did you use paint or something more sophisticated like Krita?



File: 1709685345648.gif (1.11 MB, 500x281, 500:281, dhfhfdjfe.gif) ImgOps iqdb

 No.289727[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

getting angry, getting frustrated edition

previous >>285492
136 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.292693

File: 1717189144011.png (3.92 KB, 660x113, 660:113, Screenshot 2024-05-31 at 1….png) ImgOps iqdb

Looking forward to posting in this thread again

 No.293187

Fucks sake man…this convenience store I'm working at is beyond help at this point. They just hired a succubus and she BARELY does anything around the fucking place. She'll walk around and maybe stock something, but most of the time she's outside shooting the shit with customers or fucking smoking. Like goddamn lady we're trying to get some shit done around here…and she even doesn't do that!

 No.293193

>>293187
>She must suffer as much as I do!
The life of a crab in a bucket.

 No.293207

>>293187
If the store where you work allows you to do those things, simply do it too. It's not worth working so hard for a shitty salary, although they may get fired

 No.293218

>>289727
I m gonna be forced to either pick up a trade or be sent to work (again)

I hate my fucking life


[Last 50 Posts]

File: 1717594751368.jpg (121.85 KB, 750x722, 375:361, 1716831119304848.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.292794[Reply]

have you ever faced racism towards you or a relative you were with?
It hurts and you don't know how to respond and you feel weak.
how fo I be more confident and less vulnerable when someone says something racist or some contemptuous words they tell to you.
they make you feel like shit and be aware of responding to them they will sperg out like a down syndrome being
33 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.293212

File: 1719228795905.png (56.35 KB, 440x330, 4:3, Graham's_Hierarchy_of_Disa….png) ImgOps iqdb

>>292794
It's called ad hominem. Only argument lower than ad hominem is two kids calling each other a poopoohead.
Any person using ad hominem has cow shit standards of intellectual hygiene and even lower moral levels. Arguing with them is generally just pointless but if you really feel the need to fight back you can point it out.
Also, if you want to dive deeper into the subject then I recommend you learning more on formal logic, if nothing it will helps you control your emotions.

 No.293213

>>293212
The sad reality is not all wizards are bright, a lot of wizards are angry involuntary celibates who are very dumb.

Name calling, labeling everyone a kike, nigger or jew is literally the best their brain can come up with which is why their life outcomes reflect that.

 No.293215

File: 1719238933815.gif (1.36 MB, 478x360, 239:180, 1719171052190924.gif) ImgOps iqdb

>>293213
>>293212
thank you wizbros. I try to not care but it is hard, I'll train harder!

 No.293216

==Caution== Incoherent autistic India crab gibberish ahead.

Man I am Indian it's hell being on the internet. On the one hand my fellow Indians are retarded, on the other hand I have to face racism because of them (only online for now), I don't know if being in India makes me safer or more vulnerable to this shit.

But I won't lie I am jealous of white roasties to the max, their entire life in on tutorial mode, I don't get to be in a relationship but that is completely alright. But I don't get other things in life either, and seeing white roasties post about their travels, their food, the kind of car they drive, the kind of attention they get, makes me incredibly insane.

The least I want to do in my life is earn enough money and maybe one day buy a car not an expensive one something like half the price of Camry. But living in this sweltering shithole has driven me insane. At this point, I might as well have be born in the West so that I could've moneymaxxed, and fucked off from the West and just rotted in India. Although at this point, I can't afford fucking food. So let alone car even an old 100$ moped is beyond my reach.

Fuck it man, there's one more better thing you guys in the West don't really have families like we do, so no one really pesters you for marriage as much as fuckers do here. "Oh you're still unmarried", "Why are you still unmarried", "Why do you not have a job?", "Why do you mean you can't get a job literally everyone I know easily got a job after college", and not to mentions parents start to hate you. They literally stop seeing you as human, but as a vile fucking load.

Tell you what, in India we have a law for Hindus that you can't kick your thotter out even if she turns 18, but for men like me there are no laws. Fuck this shithole man, on the contrary there are laws for me to take care of my parents but not for them. Not that I hate my parents but still. Although they hate me, because they think that there is something very wrong with me as they believe that anyone who has done college can get a job, boomers don't understand. Things are getting so bad in life that little children have started to call me "uncle". It's at that point you know it's over.

So the bottom line is I don't get along well with the people of my own country, and people of other countries are brutally racist to me online. It sucks that there are no crab forums for browns, because nobody copes like us Asians. And gePost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.293217

>>293216
damn it, how can you get a better life, do you have a plan/ save plan? I hope it will be all good for you



File: 1719181397455.jpg (49.81 KB, 768x512, 3:2, Alopecia-avanzada-en-hombr….jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.293203[Reply]

I'm going broke, and I really don't know how to deal with this fact. I went to 4 doctors to treat it, but none of them worked, and no matter how many medications I took, I was never able to overcome this problem. But these only caused me terrible side effects, such as fatigue, weight gain, apathy, a lot of disinterest in everything, and alopecia, but they were never able to attack the impulses. Violence never stops.
Sometimes I blame my family for raising me in such a violent environment, but then I think it's better to bury the past and look forward. But sometimes it is difficult, since it is not about the violence of 10 or 15 years ago, it is about things sometimes from less than a week ago.

I feel like an alcoholic, where instead of keeping a place free of that poison, it is offered to me in all shapes, sizes, colors and flavors.
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.293206

hair transplant
wig

 No.293208

>>293204
My beard doesn't grow

>>293206
It makes me really sad to have fallen so low. I don't mind losing my hair due to natural causes, but it destroys me that I have less hair every day because I haven't been able to deal with my impulses.

 No.293209

>>293208
>I don't mind losing my hair due to natural causes
Isn't my violence natural?

 No.293211

File: 1719227384703.jpeg (227.49 KB, 1024x1024, 1:1, 1be5dd84af1d4f6e888fd03ab….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

>>293203
you really have only 3 options:
1. finasteride
2. turkey
3. wig

If none sounds feasible then stop caring and goblinmaxx, you wouldn't have sex anyway

 No.293214

>>293205
This is an awful idea. Growing out Dr. Phil tier hairlines makes you look 58 years old at 30.



File: 1717919658512.png (601.81 KB, 800x784, 50:49, e1e5a5b93620f93f0e4594dd76….png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.292925[Reply]

I would like to be with a being with whom I can share everyday moments, to have a being to worry about, in which I can capture the most beautiful part of my being, to whom I can show my vulnerable parts, express my deepest emotions, and show them really who I am. But who am I really? Even in an anonymous forum, I would say he is a great guy, who went through some things, but who despite everything never gave up, someone who always wants the best for others, and who has an optimistic vision even in the most difficult moments. hard And although in a certain way the above is not a lie, the reality is that there is an uncivilized being inside me, someone so disgusting and unpleasant that I don't even like to admit that we are the same person, and hypocritically, whether consciously or unconsciously. , I pretend it doesn't exist. But this is an undeniable reality, and although it is something that can be hidden, it is something that I would never share with anyone, much less voluntarily. I prefer to be a hermit secluded from all social contact rather than show this part of my being. I'm not going to lie to you, life alone is not the best thing in the world, and it has some associated problems, but it is not something completely bad either, and it helps to value things, self-esteem, one's own thoughts, and leave aside vain issues. like social norms, or what someone outside of us may or may not think of us.
27 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.293046


 No.293047

>>293045
>>292931
>lacks basic wizard knowledge such as the fact that crabs are amazing
>it's oblivious about the coconut crabs who are the greatest and biggest land-dwelling arthropod chads

You should come back when you have something to offer besides your butthurt, kid.
Chad Wizard Coconut Crabs Are The Kings of The Wizard Land Cracking Open The Skulls of Normalniggers Like Coconuts.

Yep, crabs won.

 No.293049

>>293047
crabs have only "won" the mortal battle, which is outside the domain of magic. you just kinda flooded in and that's it. that's why you're so hilarious. i just sit here up my tower of high sorcery and look down at you while throwing some sticks for you to chew. think hard about your victory, what did you gain as prize? now nobody stops you from lamenting about not getting laid. nobody will now prevent you from being unhappy. great victory indeed, and worthy of such as you!

 No.293055

>>293047
Toads are better. They protect the home from all kinds of insects, from cockroaches, mosquitoes, to rats. In my house we had many toads, but they died from the cold.

 No.293210

>>293020
I feel truly loved, but it is still difficult for me to forgive the fact of leaving myself locked up for so long.
I know you have to turn the page, but it's difficult when half the book is burned.

>my true feelings and thoughts are repressed to fit into the model which they will feel affection towards, it is not me

Family is important, but more important is yourself. You have to show yourself and express yourself as you are, regardless of anything or anyone.



File: 1702922308959.jpg (232.92 KB, 1280x852, 320:213, prematureburial.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.286861[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Suicide general, - Discuss everything suicide related here.
170 posts and 17 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.293178

>>293176
I think cancer is extremely debilitating and painful, tho? I thought the same as you and when I talked about it online, everyone said I would be crippled 24\7 unable to do anything off my bucket list

 No.293179

>>293178
Symptoms can vary wildly depending on the type of cancer and what stage it's at.

Cancer isn't really a disease so much as it's a class of diseases.

 No.293183

>>293176
Well, what are the awesome things that you'd do?

 No.293184

>>293173
Depression alters the experience of world, self, and volitional action. The world is full of bipolar people who do whacky shit that ruins their lives when on manic benders, and they become depressed retards again, they aren’t magically woken up by turning their lives upside down. Wowee I spent my life savings on a camper van and I’m going to travel the country ahahaha oh no I want to slit my wrists again.
It’s just normie focus on the kind of depression that is narratively pleasing to them, oh wow a journey of overcoming and meaning seeing the world is actually beautiful if you look! Here’s this attractive middle class succubus telling you so! The poor mentally ill retard living in their own filth , that depression, oopsie doopsy let’s move on lol meaning meaning camus!

 No.293200

>>293183
>>293179
>>293184
I just want to do some extreme sports, nature adventure\ survivalism experience stuff. And possibly stupid, childish-nostalgia shit like living 2 weeks only off gummy candies and coca cola and marathoning seasons upon seasons of pokemon, pretty cure and power rangers for a month straight ,20 hours a day


[Last 50 Posts]

 No.291261[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.
Previous: >>290006
273 posts and 18 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.293185

Was going to post this somewhere else but it’s a waste of time :

I don’t kill myself because of family, and it’s a shit fucking life. I’ve been suicidal for 22 years, I became fully accepting of suicide being right for me and ready to die 13 years ago. I have multiple disabled family members and blah blah they have shit lives, my now sick mother tried hard for me and I turned out barely able to function while wanting to blow my brains out. I’m objectively useful and suicide would break them beyond their already crappy hand in life, and even then when things get too bad I can be a negative force in people’s lives and it’s debatable whether suicide is the lesser of evils; those days are tempting.

I’ve been trespassing in an existence that should have ended decades ago. Trying for years and getting nowhere. I’ve lived a life I never should have and I would throw it away in an instant, I have had nice times, I have had nice experiences with family, and I would not have cared if I’d killed myself 20 years ago and missed out on all of it. If my family weren’t involved it would have been the right decision to.

Not killing yourself for family just freezes you on the ledge, stops you from jumping. It doesn’t actually give you anything, there’s no waking up and realising your family loves you and that’s some life changing event. Values and meaning are just luck if they create anything other than years of drudgery where you can’t even tell people the reason you are alive, living lies pretending you want something here.

It doesn’t matter though, this is what we are condemned to. There is peace when the universe kills us and it’s out of our hands and sense of responsibility. I really am tempted to just do it when my mum dies, do I really need to stick around for my brothers. We will see won’t we.

 No.293186

>>293185
The thing is, the universe is just this chaotic arbitrary sandbox game. Like you I trespassed and extended my life well beyond my years, I should have naturally died at around age 18-20.

Then for inexplicable reasons the world decided to give me money at age 35 from dumb risk taking, so much of it that I rarely worry anymore.
And reconnected with childhood friends before that.

Some health issues fixed themselves instead of me decaying further and further.
Sometimes life does get better with time, but not because some arbitrary judge is doling out justice; It can simply happen due to pure dumb luck.

Outside third world hellscapes, nobodys fate is sealed. Everything is in a constant potential flux, upset or radical change. Even the life of a permanently depressed ghost who was supposed to end it decades ago.

 No.293190

back at my fathers, living in absolute squalor with bugs, heat, crying children, filth everywhere, roaches everywhere, dilapidated walls, 2 hours of sleep a night, constant noise starting at 7 am not ending until 2 in the morning, people up at night walking around, drunk rednecks everywhere.

maybe i should just kill myself?

 No.293191

>>293190
currently hearing a dude violently vomiting at 8 AM in the morning.

 No.293192

>>293190
did you move on?


[Last 50 Posts]

 No.293181[Reply]

Are you afraid of a situation where people assume that you are following them when you happen to walk in the same direction? I know I am.

 No.293182

Their worries are their own to bear the weight of. If they can't travel in public without sweating over delusions and poor threat assessment, then they shouldn't be in public at all.



File: 1718915815744.png (295.64 KB, 1920x1920, 1:1, aa15daa1af93d847b31be07ff9….png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.293145[Reply]

Is it possible for me to get rid of my ties to the physical world and live entirely in my own imagination? If I can do the bare minimum for survival (eating, drinking water, maintaining some weight) I think I should be able to do this. Has anyone here tried or done this before? I understand 100% that I'm a loser in life and I like my imagination much better than I like the physical world anyway. Not that I ever wanted to partake in society from a young age anyway. I'm not at all surprised I am where I am.

I want to imagine having a comfy PC setup in my apartment of solitude with boarded up windows where I can burn many CDs and DVDs and have fun on the internet. I already daydream a lot, but I would like to do this fulltime. I don't like that I can't do the things I can't and I don't like that I can't find a job because I am who I am. I already know where all the furniture are, I even know every part of the computer!

I think if my physical body could survive just enough for my brain to continue imagining without issues (for ex. too much grey matter buildup) I would be content with existence.
8 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.293158

>>293156
>paracosm
I never had this while a kid. maybe I'm too much of a brainlet

 No.293159

>>293158
Are you >>293153 by chance? I think you (or you both) may have Aphantasia.

 No.293161

File: 1718974092269.png (600.39 KB, 656x1000, 82:125, 1718952452807548.png) ImgOps iqdb

>>293159
no I'm not him.
>aphantasia
>aphantasics may have problems recognizing faces, have a poor sense of direction or even difficulty projecting themselves into the future
>or even difficulty projecting themselves into the future
that's me. I can't think about my future
but I don't think I have aphantasia because I can make images in my mind since I was a child. it's just I didn't have an imaginery world during my young years

 No.293162

>>293161
it's just I didn't have paracosm when a child*

 No.293166

Is kinda possible to live like that; when I was younger I basically lived inside my own fantasies, creating characters on my mind, and just watching as much anime and playing as many VN’s as possible, you eventually just forget about reality and stop caring, you live inside your own worlds.

Unfortunately I “grew up” got a job (against my will) and became an adult (not a functional adult with functional adult relationships but an adult anyway) so I can’t live like I used to.

But I do miss it, sometimes I fantasize about saying “fuck it” and going back to that, maybe someday, when I’m pushed to the edge.



  [Go to top]   [Catalog]
Delete Post [ ]
Previous [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ] [  Textboard ] [  Wiki ]