My dad constantly shit on me and said I'd never amount to anything regardless of how hard I tried. He'd always criticize me constantly to the point that I'd give up before even trying since I just didn't want to hear his criticisms. My mom is an enabling doormat who is as passive-aggressive as it gets and will always act as a snotty contrarian even when she doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about.
Also shit genes, no money, no looks from their genetic dead-end material made me the quintessential loser I am now.
My parents basically ensured that I wouldn't have a normal upbringing, when I was in 2nd grade right before the 2008 crash my parents thought it was a good idea to move to Hawaii, I went from having friends and a community around me to being a complete outcast. I was bullied relentlessly by native hawaiians for being white, something that redpilled me on race at a very young age. Because my family was fucking broke we moved all around the country spending my dead granpas stock money that they had inherited, I think I never stayed in one house for more than a year for like 8 years. One of the houses we stayed at my "room" which was just an open area of the bottom floor of the house would flood whenever it rained and little worms would embed themselves on the floor. On top of that my mom has severe bi polar disorder and would often explode on me for little things that I didn't even mean to do and my dad was completely pussy whipped and was wageslaved to the max, he practically barely knows me. All of this is probably the root of my extreme attachment issues but I'm sure my mom giving birth to me in her late 30s didnt help either.
>>205898>2nd grade right before the 2008 crash
Why did you move to Hawaii? Bipolar impulsivity? Fear mongered by the crash?
>How did you or your parents ruin your life?
It's a difficult thing to talk about, I think; I was the only child, raised by a single mother, despite her obvious narcissistic and exploitative tendencies she cared for me, in a tough love sort of way, but I'm sure she believed this approach works best since she herself was raised this way. She'd spur me to do my best in school, plan my life for me, forcefully "guide" me towards what I should be interested in so I could secure a decent job later on in life etc. I rarely objected, and when I did it was in passive form: writing a diary entry or a poem chock-full of obscene words and curses aimed at myself, life, my brain and body and my mother, followed by its inevitable discovery by her, an awkward talk and heavy guilt-tripping. As a result I became neurotic, perfectionist, maximalist and spineless, not to mention the negative traits I "inherited" from her and my father. Upon receiving a B- or C+ on a test I would entertain thoughts of suicide and write suicide notes, one time I broke into tears and stabbed myself in the forearm with a pair of compasses in class; the latter happened in 6th or 5th grade, I think, but the general trend was set back 4th grade.
Like I said, I can't blame her, furthermore, I'd go as far as to say I'm somewhat thankful. If it hadn't been for her control and push I would have achieved nothing: I've always lacked clear, personal life directions and interests. If it hadn't been for her, I would have went downhill and ended up simply pointlessly existing much, much earlier in life.
>What caused your transformation to a wizard?
One life-changing wank.
I was around fourteen years old when I noticed a funny correlation: thoughts about succubi and starting a family would grow more intense the longer I didn't masturbate and disappeared immediately the moment I'd ejaculate. This and so much more dawned on me after a single wank I had while taking a bath sometime around that age, a wizardly "Eureka moment", if you will.
Obviously there were more factors that contributed to me rejecting relationships, like that one book with Medieval and Renaissance art I had that had one too many vanitas paintings.