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What was the last good year of your life? 2012 is the last year I can say with 100% certainty that I was happy, everything ater it was only downhill.
Too long to even remember. My life since teenage years has been pretty terrible. Maybe there was a year in my childhood that wasn't so bad, but from what I remember my childhood wasn't even that good. My whole life has pretty much been a joke. At least I enjoyed games until 20 or so. After that it's just been a total mess.
Either 1999 or 2004. I was always an anxious and kind of depressed kid feeling terrible and alone at school or in society. Around 1999 I would have been happy playing video games and having my birthday off school playing all day on a new game, actual joy. Before then I played video games but was too young to truly enjoy them. About 2004 I was 13 or so and although a bit depressed and anxious I was enjoying being online, learning to code, I enjoyed drawing, and generally having an energy to do something when I wasn't at school since I still hated that. Everything dropped off hard after that age and I stopped playing games really - this year has probably been the best since 2004.
2007 probably. I flunked out of college but was carefree, had a lot of friends and had a successful business. Lost the business in 08, had to be a wageslave ever since and lost nearly all of my friends from then.
Around 2001/2 I think. Rest has just been waiting for something, anxiety, depression that has ever since become a bigger issue I am unable to deal with…
Had a pretty normal life till 2001. After that mother started drinking and everything went to shit
>>203448
What do you mean by innocence? Why is that so preferable compared to what the opposite of innocence you're experiencing?
What do you mean by innocence? Why is that so preferable compared to what the opposite of innocence you're experiencing?
Everything changed for the worse when I was 16. Mental illness kicked in hardcore and I lost my shit. I became a totally different person. Though the real last good year for me was 2006 when my mom died and my family stole my house and mostly got rid of everything I was. I was 21 and that was the final nail in the coffin for what was left with of my identity. Fuck this gay earth.
>>203449
In 2012 for the first time derealization/ depersonalization hit me. I lost basic connection to myself and my body and the thingly world around me which is a horrible feeling that I'm scared of till today. It totally dissociated me from normal reality and it devaluated all values and experience I collected up to that point in my life. I'm not diagnosed but ever since that first devastating derealization I had symptoms of different mental illnesses like psychosis, paranoia, anxiety, depression, head aches and so on for the coming years up to today. However the worst part is that my whole past and my self conception and my ideas about the existence in general got ridiculed and erased as a result of that first derealization. That's what I mean when I say I lost my innocence. In a very simplified way you could say I got redpilled but that doesn't barely encompass the whole of the change that occured to me. At that point I saw the world for what it is and all slightly comforting illusions faded. Whatever selfworth I might have had, dreams, ambitions, peferences, it all meant nothing and it's like you are not your former self anymore as you don't remember anymore how it feels to be yourself.
Right now I'm back at the right direction in life. I will never be like I used to be but it's different now. On some level I appreciate that I saw existence at its pure being without any masks. It helps to appreciate the small things in life.
In 2012 for the first time derealization/ depersonalization hit me. I lost basic connection to myself and my body and the thingly world around me which is a horrible feeling that I'm scared of till today. It totally dissociated me from normal reality and it devaluated all values and experience I collected up to that point in my life. I'm not diagnosed but ever since that first devastating derealization I had symptoms of different mental illnesses like psychosis, paranoia, anxiety, depression, head aches and so on for the coming years up to today. However the worst part is that my whole past and my self conception and my ideas about the existence in general got ridiculed and erased as a result of that first derealization. That's what I mean when I say I lost my innocence. In a very simplified way you could say I got redpilled but that doesn't barely encompass the whole of the change that occured to me. At that point I saw the world for what it is and all slightly comforting illusions faded. Whatever selfworth I might have had, dreams, ambitions, peferences, it all meant nothing and it's like you are not your former self anymore as you don't remember anymore how it feels to be yourself.
Right now I'm back at the right direction in life. I will never be like I used to be but it's different now. On some level I appreciate that I saw existence at its pure being without any masks. It helps to appreciate the small things in life.
Our memories can fool ourselves, wiz. I try not to think about them too much, for I know the nostalgia is only my brain making a sucker out of me.
For instance, I'll remember with sweet sweet memories a year in my life when I tried to commit suicide and was in anti-depressants. Just crazy, uh? But now, wow! that was such a great year, I did so many nice things, it were way better than now…
Just our brains playing smart.
I don't understand the evolutionary reason for that behavior, but it's a common thing.
For instance, I'll remember with sweet sweet memories a year in my life when I tried to commit suicide and was in anti-depressants. Just crazy, uh? But now, wow! that was such a great year, I did so many nice things, it were way better than now…
Just our brains playing smart.
I don't understand the evolutionary reason for that behavior, but it's a common thing.
2007 when I still had my innocence and didn't fully swallow the blackpill. Now I'm 22 and closer to suicide regularly.
Probably 2007, 2008 or something. It all went to shit after 2012, I probably lost hope around 2015 and started some weird sort of half-life where I'm partially convinced I already died once.
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2018, unironically. I had a good-to-me wizjob, no school, etc. I was in a comfortable, "work all weekday nights and either sleep or play video games in my spare time" routine. It is boring, but I'd rather that than what came before it. My life perpetually sucked before graduating hs in 2004, and it got slightly worse in uni and evey job i had until my current one.
I was a neet from mid 2009 to mid 2010. I had money issues then, so I couldn't even do that properly.
I was a neet from mid 2009 to mid 2010. I had money issues then, so I couldn't even do that properly.
>>203833
Why not? Despite having "made it" as a wizard, I still have hangups. Anhedonia, anxiety, etc.
Why not? Despite having "made it" as a wizard, I still have hangups. Anhedonia, anxiety, etc.
around 2012 for me too
I was still 23 and the shame of being a useless NEET hadn't kicked in yet, I played flash games all day on Kongregate, I even had some online friends in the site's only brazilian chatroom. It was so fun to play a new game every day, get badges and talk in the chat
I was still 23 and the shame of being a useless NEET hadn't kicked in yet, I played flash games all day on Kongregate, I even had some online friends in the site's only brazilian chatroom. It was so fun to play a new game every day, get badges and talk in the chat
1999. That was the last good year for me before things forever took a turn for the worst.
Mid 2013, end of 2012 was a different sort of ending and loss of hope. 2016 was probably the last year with any hope, but the years preceding it were hopeless.
Mid 2013, end of 2012 was a different sort of ending and loss of hope. 2016 was probably the last year with any hope, but the years preceding it were hopeless.
I can't recall ever having any happy memories or years. I guess there was a dumb comfort in being a younger child, since you can't mentally understand whats wrong with life at that age.
2010. Everything went downhill from there, fast, to the point that I was angry in 2011 how I lost an entire year of my life.
2011 was pure heaven by today's standards.
I'd cry of bliss even if I went back to summer 2015.
2011 was pure heaven by today's standards.
I'd cry of bliss even if I went back to summer 2015.
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The year I found imageboards back in 2011 made everything worse. I was exposing myself to the craziest porn, the most abysmal cynicism and lots of gore all at once, and it changed my personality irreversibly. It only took a few months for me to become a dead-inside neckbeard and I didn't even realize it until too late. Not good for an 11-year old.
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What good is knowing that? No matter how good your life was in a certain year because it sure won't make up for the suffering your experiencing in the now and the bad times life has in store for you in the future, right?
I can't find a good year in my life because I'm quick to find bad things happening on every year. But in general I'd say 2005 was the most peaceful year on my life
>>203409
Thinking back possibly 2009-2010. Long before I had much to worry about but the small set of issues I already had. I also got brought home my cat who is still here with me in 2010 finding an old video to confirm. 2011-12 was just boring and depressing but then that's when my life became this total hellish shit fest for 3 years that was more of an accumulation of all going wrong that crashed all at once forcing major change.
Thinking back possibly 2009-2010. Long before I had much to worry about but the small set of issues I already had. I also got brought home my cat who is still here with me in 2010 finding an old video to confirm. 2011-12 was just boring and depressing but then that's when my life became this total hellish shit fest for 3 years that was more of an accumulation of all going wrong that crashed all at once forcing major change.
>>204774
Can't believe I miss 00s music. Everything we have now is either super-derivative to the nth degree or just tuneless garbage.
>>203409
It's hard to say, cos for most of the 00s even if life sucked I had the internet and all it's weird and wonderful stuff. Some point in the early 10s all this changed and the internet started looking the same everywhere. I guess 2014 if I have to guess.
Can't believe I miss 00s music. Everything we have now is either super-derivative to the nth degree or just tuneless garbage.
>>203409
It's hard to say, cos for most of the 00s even if life sucked I had the internet and all it's weird and wonderful stuff. Some point in the early 10s all this changed and the internet started looking the same everywhere. I guess 2014 if I have to guess.
>2012
>best year
Perhaps for you, op. For me It was the worst year of my life.
2012,2008 and 2009 were nightmare. They couldnt be any worse.
The best years of my life were 2014,2010,2007 and.
I also liked 1999-2002, because I was a kid and if could turn back time, then I know I would rewrite my bad life into a better one.
>best year
Perhaps for you, op. For me It was the worst year of my life.
2012,2008 and 2009 were nightmare. They couldnt be any worse.
The best years of my life were 2014,2010,2007 and.
I also liked 1999-2002, because I was a kid and if could turn back time, then I know I would rewrite my bad life into a better one.
>>204768
>going to image boards with 11 years
Well that explains a lot. Also you're kind of fucked dude.
>going to image boards with 11 years
Well that explains a lot. Also you're kind of fucked dude.
>>203791
>neet from mid 2009 to mid 2010
that's not being neet you larping faggot. that's call being unemployed for a year
>neet from mid 2009 to mid 2010
that's not being neet you larping faggot. that's call being unemployed for a year
Was kinda happy through most of 2008 (was 16 years old), then in the last 3 months of that year everything went downhill.
Felt kind of good again after dropping out of high school in early 2009 but it only lasted 8 months at best.
Lost hope around 2015.
Felt kind of good again after dropping out of high school in early 2009 but it only lasted 8 months at best.
Lost hope around 2015.
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>>203454
I'm in the mist of a derealization/depersonalization hell from anxiety. Does it get easier? Everything feels hyper real to the point where just mocing around feels like I'm not in reality
I'm in the mist of a derealization/depersonalization hell from anxiety. Does it get easier? Everything feels hyper real to the point where just mocing around feels like I'm not in reality
>>204980
I was neither studying, working, nor in training, yes. Being unemployed counts as being a NEET, as I was not working.
I was neither studying, working, nor in training, yes. Being unemployed counts as being a NEET, as I was not working.
It's a difficult thing to quantify because as time goes by we tend to forget the smaller things and only remember big events, our memory isn't as reliable as we like to think.
I think 2011 was my last good year. I was losing lots of weight, doing well in my studies, got on well with my classmates and had no problems at home. I can't recall many negative feelings or emotions during that year.
I think 2011 was my last good year. I was losing lots of weight, doing well in my studies, got on well with my classmates and had no problems at home. I can't recall many negative feelings or emotions during that year.
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>>203454
>>205124
I don't know about you wizzies, and maybe I am "set wrong" but later I realized I actually enjoyed that period in my life when depersonalization and derealization hit me constantly. It was sich a wastly different experience from usual daily life, and it did end up teaching me of reality and it's usage.
To be fair I also wake up genuinely happy and with a childlike excitement from dreams where I am brutally being murdered or I feel and external force literally stripping me of my storeroom consciousness and completely removing me from existence.
I'm not much for eastern philosophy, but you might want to read the tibetian book of the dead if you can find it only and imagine yourself already dead and apply the logic from it.
Actually I recommend you do.
>>205124
I don't know about you wizzies, and maybe I am "set wrong" but later I realized I actually enjoyed that period in my life when depersonalization and derealization hit me constantly. It was sich a wastly different experience from usual daily life, and it did end up teaching me of reality and it's usage.
To be fair I also wake up genuinely happy and with a childlike excitement from dreams where I am brutally being murdered or I feel and external force literally stripping me of my storeroom consciousness and completely removing me from existence.
I'm not much for eastern philosophy, but you might want to read the tibetian book of the dead if you can find it only and imagine yourself already dead and apply the logic from it.
Actually I recommend you do.
>>203409
Everything kind of went to shit around summer 2016. A combination of me being retarded and other problems piling up
The 2 years before then were probably the happiest of my life
Everything kind of went to shit around summer 2016. A combination of me being retarded and other problems piling up
The 2 years before then were probably the happiest of my life
The late 90's, fifth or sixth grade. I was going to a year-round school then and so every three months I'd get a month or so off. I rather enjoyed that since it meant going to my friend's house all day. It was a daycare but I was friend's with the provider's son so I'd just hangout during the school day and then all afternoon and evening we'd play Perfect Dark, Goldeneye, Smash Bros, Road Rash 64, ect…
There were some dull times when he was at school, but things were better when my mother quit working and I could stay home. I even had a few friends in my neighborhood (lived in a different town from the daycare).
However I would say that the peak of my life was 1996 or 97, when I was in fourth grade. I liked my teachers, they liked me, I enjoyed school, I had two friends at school, and after school I went to daycare with my best friend whose mother ran the place out of her house. In those years I'd sometimes stay the night there all week. I miss those times.
There have been good things about the years after that, but life has never quite hit that peak. Starting in Junior High my "otherness" in regards to other kids started to become noticeable. I started doing worse in school and the friends I had in Junior High and High School were people who didn't actually like or respect me. My depression hit bad in my mid teens and has never really gone away.
There were some dull times when he was at school, but things were better when my mother quit working and I could stay home. I even had a few friends in my neighborhood (lived in a different town from the daycare).
However I would say that the peak of my life was 1996 or 97, when I was in fourth grade. I liked my teachers, they liked me, I enjoyed school, I had two friends at school, and after school I went to daycare with my best friend whose mother ran the place out of her house. In those years I'd sometimes stay the night there all week. I miss those times.
There have been good things about the years after that, but life has never quite hit that peak. Starting in Junior High my "otherness" in regards to other kids started to become noticeable. I started doing worse in school and the friends I had in Junior High and High School were people who didn't actually like or respect me. My depression hit bad in my mid teens and has never really gone away.
Haven't been happy since the late 90s
Since then its been the same as everyone else here: downhill
Since then its been the same as everyone else here: downhill
>>203409
Earlier this year actually, since february my life has went down hill quite a bit even during the other bad years I was able to do shit (like vidya, music, watching films, etc) and really enjoy it I was always had hope that life would get better after the 25th my life ended I'm sure things are only going to get worse the longer I live on so I'm giving up pretty soon I've got my final day, sort of, planned. Its gonna be great the absolute best day of my life will be the last one….
Earlier this year actually, since february my life has went down hill quite a bit even during the other bad years I was able to do shit (like vidya, music, watching films, etc) and really enjoy it I was always had hope that life would get better after the 25th my life ended I'm sure things are only going to get worse the longer I live on so I'm giving up pretty soon I've got my final day, sort of, planned. Its gonna be great the absolute best day of my life will be the last one….
>>206057
Wizchan 2019.
Shitting on unhappy people in shitty situations while using "dab" terminology.
Chance this person is actually a wizard? 0%
People like you are evil. Straight evil.
Wizchan 2019.
Shitting on unhappy people in shitty situations while using "dab" terminology.
Chance this person is actually a wizard? 0%
People like you are evil. Straight evil.
>>206113
yeah it looks like he was just picking out bugs from its fur and fucking around with it, it's still alive at the end
yeah it looks like he was just picking out bugs from its fur and fucking around with it, it's still alive at the end
>>206114
To clarify, I was joking, having a bit of fun. Also, unironically calling people “straight evil” for saying “dab” is straight cringe.
To clarify, I was joking, having a bit of fun. Also, unironically calling people “straight evil” for saying “dab” is straight cringe.
My last really good year was in 2002. But 2008 and 2011 was okay. 2012 was the worst year so far, but I expect 2020 to be even worse.
2002 → good
2003 → very bad
2004 → bad
2005 → bad
2006 → bad
2007 → bad
2008 → okay
2009 → mediocre
2010 → mediocre
2011 → okay
2012 → very bad
2013 → bad
2014 → bad
2015 → bad
2016 → bad
2017 → bad
2018 → very bad
2019 → very bad
2020 → catastrophic?
2002 → good
2003 → very bad
2004 → bad
2005 → bad
2006 → bad
2007 → bad
2008 → okay
2009 → mediocre
2010 → mediocre
2011 → okay
2012 → very bad
2013 → bad
2014 → bad
2015 → bad
2016 → bad
2017 → bad
2018 → very bad
2019 → very bad
2020 → catastrophic?
>>206138
Same, every single year after high school has just been one big summer blur. Things that I think happened just the other day or not too long ago often turn out to have happened many years ago. How am I supposed to keep track? I assume anyone that remembers past years for anything must have things going on in their life.
Same, every single year after high school has just been one big summer blur. Things that I think happened just the other day or not too long ago often turn out to have happened many years ago. How am I supposed to keep track? I assume anyone that remembers past years for anything must have things going on in their life.
>>206138
same, my sister was asking me about stuff that happened a few years ago, and i just realized i couldn't remember, no details, no names. the vast majority of my life got black-holed and the extent of my memory is a few still-images of major events that may or may not have anything to do with what actually happened
same, my sister was asking me about stuff that happened a few years ago, and i just realized i couldn't remember, no details, no names. the vast majority of my life got black-holed and the extent of my memory is a few still-images of major events that may or may not have anything to do with what actually happened
>>203409
Best years were when I was in primary school (2004-2008). I was pretty autistic in kindergarden and mostly kept to myself. Grade school years, on the other hand, were pure bliss. I had two or three close friends. We were practically always outside. I remember so many happy days where we climbed trees, ran around like mad, exploded a “haunted house” (which was just someone’s abandoned garden shed), skated through the neighbourhood on scooters and inliners.
Pokémania was still going strong and we played and traded the cards, battled each other in the games. When we got tired of playing outside we came back home and played vidya, watched whatever children’s anime shows were on at that time, fooled around with legos and had our parents bring us snacks, sometimes sneaking some from the kitchen ourselves.
We didn’t worry about money and spent our allowances on Pokémon cards and vidya games. There was a snack shop/bakery around the corner with a sweet old succubus that always joked around with us when we came to buy sweets or chips. Those small round chewing gums were 0,02 cents each, so one day I came in, put 5 bucks on the counter and asked for a hundred chewing gums. From then on she always remembered me as the “100 chewing gum boy”.
Most of the time we were outside until sunset, I got in trouble with my parents countless times for coming home late. I hat scrapped knees and elbows most of the times, but I didn’t care, having those only made you popular amongst the guys. I got into fights, sometimes I won and sometimes I got my ass beat, but we somehow made up in the end.
One of my favourite memories is when the fare came to town when I was in fourth grade or so. I went there with my best friend and we won a fuckton of prizes at the stand that we later shared, tried all the rides they had, then sat in the sun eating greasy fries with ketchup and mayonnaise as we watched some fun dance groups perform. I remember nothing but happiness from those days.
Then I got into middle school where I got bullied for being awkward, poor and ugly, my parents divorced, my mother got depressed and came home drunk in some nights, we had to move into a quasi ghetto neighbourhood because we were poor as shit, I lost contact with all of my old friends and went down the wiz road ever since. Now I’m a depressed, miserable fag who is tired of living but too pussy to neck himself.
Sorry for the tl;dr. I should have just died the day I turned 11 because that was the last year I ever felt true happiness.
Best years were when I was in primary school (2004-2008). I was pretty autistic in kindergarden and mostly kept to myself. Grade school years, on the other hand, were pure bliss. I had two or three close friends. We were practically always outside. I remember so many happy days where we climbed trees, ran around like mad, exploded a “haunted house” (which was just someone’s abandoned garden shed), skated through the neighbourhood on scooters and inliners.
Pokémania was still going strong and we played and traded the cards, battled each other in the games. When we got tired of playing outside we came back home and played vidya, watched whatever children’s anime shows were on at that time, fooled around with legos and had our parents bring us snacks, sometimes sneaking some from the kitchen ourselves.
We didn’t worry about money and spent our allowances on Pokémon cards and vidya games. There was a snack shop/bakery around the corner with a sweet old succubus that always joked around with us when we came to buy sweets or chips. Those small round chewing gums were 0,02 cents each, so one day I came in, put 5 bucks on the counter and asked for a hundred chewing gums. From then on she always remembered me as the “100 chewing gum boy”.
Most of the time we were outside until sunset, I got in trouble with my parents countless times for coming home late. I hat scrapped knees and elbows most of the times, but I didn’t care, having those only made you popular amongst the guys. I got into fights, sometimes I won and sometimes I got my ass beat, but we somehow made up in the end.
One of my favourite memories is when the fare came to town when I was in fourth grade or so. I went there with my best friend and we won a fuckton of prizes at the stand that we later shared, tried all the rides they had, then sat in the sun eating greasy fries with ketchup and mayonnaise as we watched some fun dance groups perform. I remember nothing but happiness from those days.
Then I got into middle school where I got bullied for being awkward, poor and ugly, my parents divorced, my mother got depressed and came home drunk in some nights, we had to move into a quasi ghetto neighbourhood because we were poor as shit, I lost contact with all of my old friends and went down the wiz road ever since. Now I’m a depressed, miserable fag who is tired of living but too pussy to neck himself.
Sorry for the tl;dr. I should have just died the day I turned 11 because that was the last year I ever felt true happiness.
>>206900
Hell, my birthday is on December 21st, so I was kinda hopping for that to be my last day alive.
Hell, my birthday is on December 21st, so I was kinda hopping for that to be my last day alive.
I think for it's either 2010 or 2011 but i don't quite remember. my life mixed with bad and goods but usually the bads weight in too much. my memory tends to betray me though. i'm so sure if i remember it correctly or i just want to remember it like that. i feel like my minds constantly in denial. but there's something 2011 that sort of makes think it was a good year for me i just don't quite remember it exactly what it is but fact i remember 2011 being a great year for me. im not sure really something inside me tells me different i just can't tell. i just feel like 2011 was something a great year. honestly i always feel like shit but 2011 maybe last time i felt excited but i don't know. i wish i knew my minds is just a mess i can't think if anything i remember is true.
>>206957
2011 was certainly an odd year glad someone else picked up on this too, yeah nothing was perfect but nothing much went horribly wrong either for once. It was the year right before shit really started to hit the fan in my life the most. After that it feels as if the AI or whatever is in charge of this reality decided to push me out. I'm surprised I'm still here at all with how much it hates me but then again now it feels like it's just keeping me in this little box. It keeps me alive just to continually make everything worse.
2011 was certainly an odd year glad someone else picked up on this too, yeah nothing was perfect but nothing much went horribly wrong either for once. It was the year right before shit really started to hit the fan in my life the most. After that it feels as if the AI or whatever is in charge of this reality decided to push me out. I'm surprised I'm still here at all with how much it hates me but then again now it feels like it's just keeping me in this little box. It keeps me alive just to continually make everything worse.
>>206879
Not to be a retard but I’m starting to unironically believe that those injuns were right about the world ending in 2012.It didn’t end physically, but it’s the year where many people agree everything started going to shit. It feels completely different now. Even my boomer stepdad and his friends agreed with me on this.
Or maybe it’s social media and rapid technological advances ruining society, I don’t know. But shit‘s been fucked since then.
Not to be a retard but I’m starting to unironically believe that those injuns were right about the world ending in 2012.It didn’t end physically, but it’s the year where many people agree everything started going to shit. It feels completely different now. Even my boomer stepdad and his friends agreed with me on this.
Or maybe it’s social media and rapid technological advances ruining society, I don’t know. But shit‘s been fucked since then.
>>206970
It's likely it's the year every media was self aware so everyone became aware how shit everything is
It's likely it's the year every media was self aware so everyone became aware how shit everything is
>>206974
I feel I learned a lot and 2019 was more of it and more brutal but I grew a bit. Towards what and where I'm going I don't know but it feels like I'm picking up the scraps of myself to build something more authentic.
>>206970
Yeah something bad happened but we didn't notice directly in the physical and now it's manifesting as all kinds of madness that's boiling over more and more with every passing year. I look at my life and I'm actually glad I hung on tight to where I was and sheltered myself for my own life and growth in certain ways. Now I'm holding on just to see where this is heading, I don't have any control. I never did looking back, everything is unfolding as it should and the 2012 event was just the major turning point for it.
I feel I learned a lot and 2019 was more of it and more brutal but I grew a bit. Towards what and where I'm going I don't know but it feels like I'm picking up the scraps of myself to build something more authentic.
>>206970
Yeah something bad happened but we didn't notice directly in the physical and now it's manifesting as all kinds of madness that's boiling over more and more with every passing year. I look at my life and I'm actually glad I hung on tight to where I was and sheltered myself for my own life and growth in certain ways. Now I'm holding on just to see where this is heading, I don't have any control. I never did looking back, everything is unfolding as it should and the 2012 event was just the major turning point for it.
>>205124
I didn't check this thread for a while but anyway maybe you still stick around here.
>Does it get easier?
For me it got easier after years. However I can't tell you a concrete method or what you can do to overcome this state but here are some suggestion.
In my experience it does not help much to read related literature or listen to podcasts etc.. It can even make it worse since you start to identify with your state of mind and while this helps accepting it it also drifts you even further away from the world around you which in the long term will inevitably make everything much worse. Maybe for you it’s different and if you learn about your condition it helps you to deal with it better than me. So lastly this is up to you.
You can try to figure out what triggers your depersonalization if you don't have it constantly. Then you can think about why this triggers it and if there is anything you can do to avoid the trigger because often triggers are based on false subjective assumptions about something in reality that don't hold up once you confront the assumption with reason, objective experience and knowledge. But I know this advice is not worth much as the whole thing is more than single triggers that can just be avoided since it affects your view of reality as a whole.
Another thing is if it stems from anxiety don't hesitate to take antidepressants or something that helps against anxiety. This will maybe help you to get a fix on reality and after that you can drop the medicaments again. Actually if you still are depersonalized I strongly recommend this to you because you have nothing to lose. It really won't get any worse than that state well except for the fact that as long as you are in that state every day feels worse than the day before. Personally because of strong anxiety I avoided to go to the doctor for several years as I thought I was just a hopeless case and so far distanced from everyone and everything that nobody and nothing could help me. But the medicaments worked for me and it was really easy after I brought up the courage to call the doctor we had a short meeting and he prescribed me instantly with Escitalopram. This did not directly stop the depersonalization but it gave me the cognitive tools and emotional stability to finally think more rationally and logically and I realized that many of my thoughts about reality and myself were just stupid and wrong and self-sabotaging. Especially the deep routed idea that I am a totally worthless human being who doesn't deserve anything neither to be alive and live in society nor to suicide and take its own life. Now I see that this is stupid as it never was my intention to come to earth so I have all the rights in the world to do whatever I like to do. Stuff like that was only possible after taking the medicaments which are more like an impetus for working on yourself than a direct solution to all your problems.
>>205471
This sounds interesting. Will have a look if find the right mood.
I didn't check this thread for a while but anyway maybe you still stick around here.
>Does it get easier?
For me it got easier after years. However I can't tell you a concrete method or what you can do to overcome this state but here are some suggestion.
In my experience it does not help much to read related literature or listen to podcasts etc.. It can even make it worse since you start to identify with your state of mind and while this helps accepting it it also drifts you even further away from the world around you which in the long term will inevitably make everything much worse. Maybe for you it’s different and if you learn about your condition it helps you to deal with it better than me. So lastly this is up to you.
You can try to figure out what triggers your depersonalization if you don't have it constantly. Then you can think about why this triggers it and if there is anything you can do to avoid the trigger because often triggers are based on false subjective assumptions about something in reality that don't hold up once you confront the assumption with reason, objective experience and knowledge. But I know this advice is not worth much as the whole thing is more than single triggers that can just be avoided since it affects your view of reality as a whole.
Another thing is if it stems from anxiety don't hesitate to take antidepressants or something that helps against anxiety. This will maybe help you to get a fix on reality and after that you can drop the medicaments again. Actually if you still are depersonalized I strongly recommend this to you because you have nothing to lose. It really won't get any worse than that state well except for the fact that as long as you are in that state every day feels worse than the day before. Personally because of strong anxiety I avoided to go to the doctor for several years as I thought I was just a hopeless case and so far distanced from everyone and everything that nobody and nothing could help me. But the medicaments worked for me and it was really easy after I brought up the courage to call the doctor we had a short meeting and he prescribed me instantly with Escitalopram. This did not directly stop the depersonalization but it gave me the cognitive tools and emotional stability to finally think more rationally and logically and I realized that many of my thoughts about reality and myself were just stupid and wrong and self-sabotaging. Especially the deep routed idea that I am a totally worthless human being who doesn't deserve anything neither to be alive and live in society nor to suicide and take its own life. Now I see that this is stupid as it never was my intention to come to earth so I have all the rights in the world to do whatever I like to do. Stuff like that was only possible after taking the medicaments which are more like an impetus for working on yourself than a direct solution to all your problems.
>>205471
This sounds interesting. Will have a look if find the right mood.
>>208819
>Escitalopram. This did not directly stop the depersonalization but it gave me the cognitive tools and emotional stability to finally think more rationally and logically
From my experiences with SSRIs I am 100% convinced that they don't do this; you fixed yourself and wrongly attribute it to the drug.
At best it is a placebo - a psychological tool that puts you in a state of mind where you actively try to break your patterns and have an excuse for doing so.
Or even less than a placebo: the fact that you finally went to the doctor after so many years just coincides with the turning point where you started breaking out of your negative loop
>Escitalopram. This did not directly stop the depersonalization but it gave me the cognitive tools and emotional stability to finally think more rationally and logically
From my experiences with SSRIs I am 100% convinced that they don't do this; you fixed yourself and wrongly attribute it to the drug.
At best it is a placebo - a psychological tool that puts you in a state of mind where you actively try to break your patterns and have an excuse for doing so.
Or even less than a placebo: the fact that you finally went to the doctor after so many years just coincides with the turning point where you started breaking out of your negative loop
2013, I guess. 2014 being the point at which the raspy, mind rending fingers of anhedonia first started wrapping themselves around me. Shit's been an overwhelming burden on my psyche ever since and that's honestly putting it lightly.
If anything though, I'd say 2011 was the last year I can remember where, I don't know, things just felt okay. I'd imagine that I'm probably just misremembering the past though. My life's always been kind of shit & awful to some extent. It just didn't get to me in such a crushing way back then, despite the fact that my personal situation has only improved since then, yet the depression/ennui I feel has grown regardless.
If anything though, I'd say 2011 was the last year I can remember where, I don't know, things just felt okay. I'd imagine that I'm probably just misremembering the past though. My life's always been kind of shit & awful to some extent. It just didn't get to me in such a crushing way back then, despite the fact that my personal situation has only improved since then, yet the depression/ennui I feel has grown regardless.
>>208830
You might be right. Also I was too anxious to go to the doctor for years and I remember that a big part of relieve came from the fact that I now was able to ask for help. That in itself was a huge step for me. I know that for normal people it's the most mundane thing in the world to ask for help but for me it was literally a life changing experience.
You might be right. Also I was too anxious to go to the doctor for years and I remember that a big part of relieve came from the fact that I now was able to ask for help. That in itself was a huge step for me. I know that for normal people it's the most mundane thing in the world to ask for help but for me it was literally a life changing experience.
>>205471
I'm someone who also does depression sets in when I come back, nothing is vivid. I can barely eat because food is disgusting to me save for a small group of things I can't and wouldn't want to have all the time for my own money and health. I try to remain outside of it all, it teaches you things endlessly you can apply. My lowest point are actually where I'm typing this from. I feel heavy, my view is narrow, any positive lasting sensations feel worlds away, and there is also an absence of the terrible too outside of what feels like this ugly background nausea that comes and goes manifesting itself with times like this. I have that book downloaded but I have yet to read it. The most recent I dragged myself through was DMT: The Spirit Molecule which was a lot more psychologically difficult to get through than I thought it would be as it was so clinical and felt more like a study on death itself but I got a lot out of it for doing so.
I'm someone who also does depression sets in when I come back, nothing is vivid. I can barely eat because food is disgusting to me save for a small group of things I can't and wouldn't want to have all the time for my own money and health. I try to remain outside of it all, it teaches you things endlessly you can apply. My lowest point are actually where I'm typing this from. I feel heavy, my view is narrow, any positive lasting sensations feel worlds away, and there is also an absence of the terrible too outside of what feels like this ugly background nausea that comes and goes manifesting itself with times like this. I have that book downloaded but I have yet to read it. The most recent I dragged myself through was DMT: The Spirit Molecule which was a lot more psychologically difficult to get through than I thought it would be as it was so clinical and felt more like a study on death itself but I got a lot out of it for doing so.
>>203409
2015. I can remember the exact moment, actually. It's not traumatic or even the least bit… anything. It's pointless and stupid, which make everything much worse.
2015. I can remember the exact moment, actually. It's not traumatic or even the least bit… anything. It's pointless and stupid, which make everything much worse.
2005. Everything turned to shit in 2006 and especially 2007. 2009 was when i realized it was over.
Just fucking end it.
Just fucking end it.
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