At the moment my plan is to buy a one-way ticket to the United States and either travel by bicycle and foot to Alaska or to somewhere like Maine and then simply walk in a straight line until I starve or freeze to death.
Why? Because it involves too much forethought and build up?
I agree, though I don't want to involve other people (train drivers etc) or harm my body (cutting, hanging). I feel the best way for me is to simply give in to the apathetic instincts which have dominated most of my life and allow nature to have its way with me.
Anyone here going to drown in the sink?
Atm my best plan is to jump off a building since i have no money and am too lazy/incompetent to actually use drugs or hang myself. The issue is that i'm a person quite interested in both diminishing pain and also aesthetics, and the image of my craneum crashing the pavement isn't a pretty or comforting one.
If you don't botch it up, yeah, it shouldn't be painful. However, in liveleak there are many videos of people getting sliced in half and still living for a good hour or two; so you should try to avoid that.
Don't do what pic related does.
>>147313>At the moment my plan is to buy a one-way ticket to the United States and either travel by bicycle and foot
This is my current plan, but I don't think I'm really going to kill myself at the end of it, if I ever go. I just have a pathetic romanticized view of travelling across America by bike, by foot, and by car, and finding something or somewhere I actually like. When I really think about doing these things and what they involve I realise I don't fancy it and would probably end up in a shitty hotel until I can get the next plane home. Then I'd have to explain to everyone why I disappeared and where I've been for a week. I'll have a new plan soon. Hopefully it involves chucking myself off a building and nothing too long winded.
Been contemplating death, but not necessarily suicide, for a couple of months now. Not serious contemplation either, just passing thoughts.
This existence is just too boring. Wake up, sleep, wake up sleep. I've realized that no matter what situation I'm in it will always be this way.>>147313>>147338
If I ever decide to go for it, I plan to do something similar. But instead going to Japan, to that famous forest Aokigahara. Since I would not like to go by hanging (always has seemed like a terrible way to go), I would rather chain/bind myself to a tree and starve/dehydrate to death.
No one here is going to kill themselves,you're just deluding yourselves.
If you actually wanted to die,you would be dead by now,small things like "pain" or "the location" mean shit when you actually want to end it all.
Reading threads like these is like reading teenager sluts on Facebook/Reddit writing that they want to die.
And no,I'm not an outsider/normie,I've been around since the last Wizchan closed,I just wanted to tell you this.
I agree with you and this is me (>>147343).
Not necessarily true. Between killing yourself and vegetating as a NEET, which one is more of a bother? Killing yourself of course. But between reintegrating into society+getting work and killing yourself? The answer is pretty obvious. That's my case at least, anyway. As long as I can be a NEET hikki it's just too much of a bother to kill myself since I'd rather plan and do it properly so I have a near zero chance of fucking it up, but whenever that becomes the option that requires less effort - that's what I'm going to go with.
If you're comfortable being a NEET why you want to kill yourself in the first place?
>>147343>go to Japan and bind myself to a tree and starve/dehydrate to death.
That's like saying I'll become and astronaut and fly to the Sun to kill myself.
It's a logical conclusion, life sucks regardless of whether you're a NEET or not, it's just that it's actually bearable as a NEET because at least you don't have to do a single thing. Having to work or being homeless would make life a 1000x worse, so suicide is simply the logical choice when that happens. I don't have much of an attachment to life or a survival instinct or anything like that, so to me it makes perfect sense.
There are stages between losing the will to live and actually killing yourself, that doesn't mean posters here are inauthentic posters looking for attention.
The people who are killing themselves before a certain degenerative terminal illness also focus on a painless death, they have very imminent reasons to kill themselves which can't be questioned really. That fact shows it is not only desires, or necessity, which motivates one to push through a violent and painful death.
There are domestic slaves who get physically and mentally tortured who drink bleach, but not many wizards have that kind of torture - many are just weighing up options. Discussion is OK for that.
Suicide is not a sudden event but has to be prepared for by spending countless hours of thinking, fantasizing and planning the act.
You are a normalfaggot and should just go back to /r/depression
>>147396>Suicide is not a sudden event
It actually is most of the times,so people or yourself can't stop you from dying.
>has to be prepared for by spending countless hours of thinking, fantasizing and planning the act.
Killing yourself is not like studying for an exam or preparing a speech,why the fuck you want to fantasize about something like that?,you won't even be here to see the consequences of your acts,there's not too much to plan,you just buy a rope and hang yourself,or jump from a nearby building/bridge,there,I planned your suicide for you.
You're not gonna do it at the end and you know it,you're too scared to do it.
>You are a normalfaggot and should just go back to /r/depression
No wizkid,I'm not a normalfag just because I tell you a truth that you don't want to recognize.
Everyone who has posted in these threads before and who did end up killing themselves, please raise their hands!
You're being retarded. Many wizards killed themselves, most of which you never heard of. They might've posted in this thread or talked about it on /dep/. This is part of what /dep/ is for.
People do talk about killing themselves, especially since this is an anonymous imageboard where they can say that kind of thing without anyone chastising them or even throwing them in the loony bin. The idea that you aren't really willing to kill yourself if you talk about it is ridiculous, based on nothing. Please do not repeat disinformation, or at least prefix it with "In my opinion, ".
I don't get it,you say "many wizzies have killed themselves" and then "most of which you never heard of"
How can you know them then? They are not supposed to be anons? How do you know that they actually killed themselves?,they streamed their suicide with a timestamp that read "Hey /dep/!" or something?
For what we know everyone in these threads is just spilling BS unless they provide evidence that they want to end it all,as I said is the Imageboard equivalent of posting "I want to die" on FB and receive messages from others that supposedly want to do it too.
There's just 1 confirmed suicide in the history of /dep/,that is >>147359
. I don't know what the others are waiting for.
have you considered that others have killed themselves but didn't have an archive?
How do you know that they killed themselves then?
Im ready to do it anons, I've got a shotgun and some ammo.
For so long I've talked myself out of it with "I can't do it to my family" but honestly half the reason I'm in this shit position is because of my family.
1. Parents had me in the first place. My dad was a fucking loser and my mom was psychotic, why did they decide to have children
2. Divorced parents, so I'm raised by the internet, never had the chance for normalcy
3. No money due to divorce, money goes down the shitter, can't afford a car to escape this small town we moved to
4. Student loan debts, parents forced me into college to get a worthless degree, basically just adding another bill to pay
5. Only part time work in this town and every town
I'm forcing myself to keep going on for their sake but they're the ones fucking me over and I'm sick of putting myself out to dry for other people's sake. I'm stuck at the bottom of a hole and I can't get out, there's no jobs, no money, all debts, chemical imbalance in my brain makes me miserable and the imageboard lifestyle has ruined whatever capacity for joy I might have had. There is no happiness in this world for me.
Clocking out wizbros, I'll be dead within the hour.
I'd say most of us don't want the attention after suiciding, just look at the achieved thread.
Full with 4chan faggots posting there memes and dragging this wizards legacy into the mud.
If I ever kill myself I know I would never announce it or deliver any kind of proof, don't want normalturds put their attention on my person and on wizchan.
and I think I'm not the only one thinking like that.
Good luck bro, at least you can take the fast lane, I heard shotgun suicide is insta gib.
How much money do you need to secure a position of relative security in the near future?
Does anyone know the method he used? It seems like a good way
Enjoy your dreamless sleep, wiz.
It isn't as easy as you think. Some of us are on suicide watch.
I was attempting to assemble a helium suicide kit. I got halfway but it was found by my parents and I had to pretend I was experimenting with drugs.
That guy from Linkin Park just killed himself.
>>147642>had wife and 2 kids
>>147641>Just do it
Kek,everyone who commits suicide should wear a shirt like that one.
Goddamn, he was a part of my childhood
Are guns freely available outside the US? In the US you just need ID and you can buy it right? Always confused about this
>>147653>In the US you just need ID and you can buy it right?
You have to be older than 18 with no criminal record
Also, if you've been hospitalized for suicide attempts you're prevented from buying as well
I think in some states private sales are legal and require no ID check. They trust the citizen to register the gun after they have bought it.
A suicide holiday to the USA has been a fantasy of mine for a while. Buy a shotgun and ammo off some craigslist type site and try my best yank accent.
I got the impression you could easily get one without id or registering at a gun show. This is also my plan on the death trip.
Sorry guys but that's just not true. There's always a background check when you buy a gun anywhere in the nation. Even at gunshows
welp firing range it is then.
is talking about it on places like 8chans suicide board illegal in the us? im not suicidal but i have asked on there before
You need a friend. They don't allow people by themselves without their own gun for exactly that reason.
Wow, way to ruin the range for the rest of us.
It's punishable by death.
What do you think about starving to death? It's free, no hesitations will ruin it (if you flich as you shoot, you could live; if you eat a slice of bread you still will starve)
At the moment I'm returning several times a day to the thought of simply walking into a region of wilderness and only stopping when I starve or freeze to death. It seems the most natural to me. I have a fear of flames (I get nightmares when I'm too hot), I don't really want to harm my body out of respect for it (cutting, shooting, jumping) and I don't want to harm train drivers etc.
I've always enjoyed walking long distances and I imagine that dying this way will be a form of purification in the sense that my body will gradually use up any fat I've stored and so on until there's nothing left.
(I'm putting my question here from the other thread).
I'm planning to do a short drop hanging.
I make two nooses, one on a stair banister and another around my neck.
I've experimented before and managed to enduce a kind of unconsciousness, although I pulled out before it enveloped me completely. I was applying pressure to the right side of my neck and think I was blocking the carotid. The feeling afterwards was this might be nature's off button.
My question is, once I go unconscious what are the chances it will be a successful suicide? Is there a chance I'll wake up? Or will I just stay unconscious?
It's extremely painful, it would take like 1 month and a half, not even mentioning how hard it would be to ignore the urge to eat something for such a long period of time.
Depends. Your body will flail and jerk which might break the noose or banister. The trick is having it tight around the neck like a ligature so if it breaks, your bloodflow still is stoppef
You're never too heavy to justify adding extra weight. This is your one shot at death were talking about.
Find a window to jump out of, tie the rope to something in a room. The gravity will add a load of extra weight.
Actually i was gonna tie it to a radio tower near my house, it's at the top of a hill so it's kind of isolated. Was going to do it right now, but the entrance to the hill (it's in a park) was closed. Still, i think it was good enough, i forgot to write anything to my mom and i don't want her to call the cops and keep an entire day worried because i'm missing just to find my corpse hanging from a rope.
Actually I don't know if this English is correct. What I meant was yeah, add extra weight just in case.
What are you going to grill?
2 steaks and some poultry
Starve yourself of sleep and bring a razor with you. Isolate yourself if you don't want to be "saved" then accept the eternal sleep.
There's a relatively high chance you'll just end up oxygen deprived and mentally retarded as a result, spending decades in a semi-lucid state and burdening your family with your lifeless body.
It can only get better afterwards
Aight lads, gonna do it now, i had bought 5.5 meters of rope but i'm only gonna tie the 2.18 meters that are supossed to be enough (not adding more because it's gonna decapitate me and it will be painful in comparison to neck snap). Hope the radio tower is strong and that my knot is good enough. Bye.
If you live post here again about it. If not see you, more advanced moe robots for me
Some people claim it is peaceful, some people claim if the concentration of CO is not high enough you will feel nausea and other uncomfortable things. They say you need to burn the coal outside so it does not smoke anymore and then take it in the tent. Then you can either wait inside (risk the CO concentration not high enough problem) or wait outside and go in when there is enough CO to make you pass out after 2 breaths
if you really need a gun then you might consider ordering from the onion web. Buy some bitcoins and order them to your adress. Most "companies" offer delivery from either US or EU territory so there should be no customs involved in this. However keep in mind that if you should ever get caught with it you will end up in jail for it.
That spot looks pretty bright and cheerful, I had the same idea, but didn't yet find something similar. All the forests that are thick enough are really creepy, I'm gonna gonna keep looking for an acceptable spot. Maybe even take a 6 hour bus ride to a coastal town to do it there. Are you using the hangman's knot or some other noose?
Hangman's. Once I kick the step I probably will panic and grab the branch or something, I'm too much of a coward. There's nothing keeping me here but I can't let go.
Short drop hanging. I tie a noose to stair banisters and the other end around my neck. I'm half hanging half sitting on the floor.
No one will interrupt.
What are the chances this will be successful? Bear in mind I will hopefully be unconscious by blocking the carotid artery.
that's the survival instinct the Demiurge left so we can't escape
Don't be too hard on yourself, if it were easy to conquer your survival instinct, we would all suicide by holding our breaths.
>>148465>The three happiest times in my life have been dropping out of university
Did the same a few days ago and can confirm, feels good for some strange reason.
I have no idea how the fuck did I manage to survive Uni or High School for that matter with its long hours when anything more than a part-time job makes me suicidal because of how short the day is.
Whats the best method for a suicide by train?
I have to drive the commute train and shortly before it enters my station it drives very fast, I was planning to stand in front of the train and hold my head ahead of me so it gets the full force of the impact.
I think this is much safer than laying my neck on the the track because I can just jump out of the bushes so the driver wont have time to break and I cant fuck it up. The body is like 70% water so I expect to explode like a balloon on impact, but maybe I am wrong and I should just put my neck on the tracks after all?
When reading about suicide by train nobody seems to bother to distinguish between getting decapitated and getting hit front on.
Why don't you try CO2?
>>148477>The body is like 70% water so I expect to explode like a balloon on impact
You can find actual footage of people getting run over by trains on places like bestgore and liveleak.
But of course, anyone who unironically asks for suicide advice on a place like this instead of doing the very minimal work it would take to research it themselves is either a shitposter or a larping edgy wizkid with no intention of actually doing the deed.
If you did research yourself you would know that suicide by train is used as a collective term and that nobody ever bothers to differentiate between getting decapitated and getting hit by the locomotive. Asking for advice in a thread about suicide is completely legitimate, this isnt one of your funny "shitposting" sites.
You are the larper here because you obviously never did actual research on the topic. So why are you even here?
And your edgy gore videos dont show shit.
Whatever you say, wizkid. Please continue to ask the same questions in hundreds of other suicide threads, as we both know you will never do anything about it.
Thinking of locking myself in a tightly sealed small bathroom and lighting up some charcoal. That would be effective, yes?
Personally, I don't even live on welfare. Once my parents die I'm pretty much screwed.
Not to mention, even if you do live on welfare, the longer you live, the more you have to spend on yourself.
It's a ticking clock.
I believe that one should at all times adhere to the classics.
Decapitation friends; either through wire or hodgepodge guillotine.
Perhaps more realistic for we suffering lazy fools.
Hanging. Something about being suspended above the earth that left us behind, held above it in defiance of hateful gravity.
I guess my thread was locked since I should have posted here.
If given the opportunity, would you pull the trigger? You would have a shotgun or handgun loaded and ready. 3 questions
1. Where would you shoot?
2. Would you leave a note?
3. Would you actually pull the trigger?
I see stuff on gore sites of suicides, that just looks very stressful to do. How do they not fear fucking up? I can't do it, shit's too intense
Some time ago when I was in the military I tried using one of the rifles in the armory to shoot myself in the head.
turns out I picked the only rifle that had its firing pin missing and nothing happened when I pulled the trigger.
>>148979>Where would you shoot?
Probably in the chest
Right on the heart
My biggest fear about suicide is fucking it up like everything else I do and ending up a vegetable in a hospital somewhere
If I shoot myself in the heart, it'll probably hurt like a bitch, but there is absolutely no way I can survive it. Even if I spend the next 10 minutes bleeding out while in horrible pain, at least I'll die for certain.
Plus I may get lucky and pass out instantly from the sudden blood pressure drop.
>Would you leave a note?
Would you actually pull the trigger?
>If I shoot myself in the heart, it'll probably hurt like a bitch, but there is absolutely no way I can survive it. Even if I spend the next 10 minutes bleeding out while in horrible pain
er…actually the approximate time to death from a stopped heart is 30 seconds
far less than 10 minutes
that's one of the reasons why shooters are trained to aim for the center-of-mass, not just cuz it's easiest to hit – heart shots kill motherfuckers fast
>>149020>Plus I may get lucky and pass out instantly from the sudden blood pressure drop.
More likely you will have multiple arteries blow in several organs (and very likely the brain included) simultaneously. However, this only applies with both a caliber and load big enough, and with hollow point rounds. The term is "stopping power," and what causes the damage is a hydrostatic pressure wave caused by the impact of a high-enough energy projectile. It's the same concept of how a concussion wave from an explosive works in air, but it's your blood stream. You could miss your heart. The most effective angle I could think of would be a hot 45 ACP or 44-mag, hot load and hollow point, under the arm in such a way as to take out both lungs. Missing the heart is nothing as the hydrostatic wave would do its magic.
TL;DR: Your body obeys physics. With a hollow point in a big enough caliber and hot enough load, 99% chance missing the heart completely won't matter at all.
I would give you 3 agonizing days before your upper brain functions shut down and your brain-stem magically guides you back to civilization.
So shoot the heart or the brain? If the brain then through the mouth is better not that under the chin shit. The heart is more likely to cause death but wouldn't it take longer and be way more painful?
i want to post here but end up posting new thread, dunno why?
But here is:
8ch ……. For suicide forum
Go there also for:
Peaceful Pill Handbook by Dr. Philip Nitchke ….. Guide to death
Guide to Humane Self Chosen Death by Dr. Peter Admiraal … Guide to death
Final Exit by Derek Humphrey
Five Last Acts by Christian Docker
if you live in US or some part of Europe(no need to import which is too risky): Fentanyl only very small amount only needed (size of one capsule), it's 1000 x stronger than morphine, it's cheap. Another one is carfentanil 1000x stronger to Fentanyl, it's also cheap. Add 500 mg diazepam, it's painless !
If you live outside those:
amitriptyline, some country you can get it otc, some you can't.
chloroquine is the best, some countries 100% otc, some country, you just have to lie to pharmacist that you're visiting malarial invested country (work all the time). Add 1 gr(1000 mg) diazepam and you will die painlessly. Chloroquine has and still used by euthanasia group as chosen drug.
One last tip: use anesthetic to numb your taste buds coz taste of drugs are horrible, with it you'll die smoothly.
sorry for re post twice :-)
The mod should make sticky thread like 8ch. Especially this one.
Don't shoot yourself in the heart it's dumb af. Merriwhether Lewis of the Lewis and Clark expeditions shot himself in the heart and sat there bleeding out for like 6 hours until he eventually was able to shoot himself in the head, Ive heard the best place to aim is for the brainstem if that disconnects I believe it's lights out
I wish I had one of these. I actually always fantasized about there being something like this. It's neat that somebody actually made it.
>This kid was sharp. On one side, there's a hole through the helmet from the shell opposite it. It also looks like he placed the shells in such a way so the shot would penetrate the majority of the brain tissue. The inside pic shows this pretty well and you can see the holes at 6, 12, and 2 o'clock opposite the shells at 12, 6, and 7 o'clock respectively. The others were aimed downward enough to miss the helmet oppositely, or simply didn't go through the cranium. Not only was this a feat of electrical design, but it had a backup system, and was made specifically to defeat the skull anatomy. This kid was brilliant. And all pre-internet."
Suicide Helmet: https://imgur.com/a/Z5mEB
I wish I wasnt too stupid to understand this
It's just a confusing description. There's a construction (?) helmet coated with fiberglass and glue mix, with a bunch of holders, each containing an ammo round and a nails. The nails are all wired to the welder, which sends large amounts of current through them, - the nails discharge arcs into shotgun shells, electricity ignites primers and the ammo goes off. The rounds are spaced in a way that guarantees maximum overkill on the brain tissue.
There is also a single manual activation holder at the top, basically relying on a manually pulled rubber band to mate the nail with the round with enough force to trigger.
May be it's a bit much, but perhaps the fellow wanted to make sure everything goes black instantly and at once.
Usually when people mess up they shoot the front part of the skull which is the toughest part, shoot under the chin which blows their face off or shoot their temple but the bullet doesn't destroy the brain. The "in the mouth" way, can people fuck that up too? I am not sure how they could especially with a shotgun or something but i guess anything's possible
>>149173>wouldn't it take longer and be way more painful?
Who knows. Penetrating cardiac wounds are so fatal that survivors are extremely rare, making it not the sorta thing you can google testimonials about how painful it is, unlike shots/stabs to – for example – the lungs. How long is approximately 30 seconds. That's just a medical fact, and with thousands of years of observation behind it.>>149262>Merriwhether Lewis shot himself in the heart and sat there bleeding out for like 6 hours
Lol. Nobody knows that. It's not documented. And even if you want to believe that, it's impossible for a number of reason. Most of all because even the biggest animals on earth don't have enough blood in them to be squirting through a hole in their hearts for hours.
Right in the middle of my forehead, because it's given me so much pain and I don't like the idea of the mouth or trying to fit a gun barrel under a tiny chin. I would make a very long video and possibly a lot of writing explaining every single detail and recording myself saying that I love my family and wish it didn't have to come to this e.t.c
Pretty much the only reason why I haven't done it already is because I have family that love me, if I was an orphan or had shitty abusive parents then I would have done it long ago.
>meet a potential spouse (inb4 failed normgroid) etc.
of fucking course failed normoid, get the fuck out
I think at one point most wizards were failed normalshits. We were conditioned from a young age to chase certain dreams. Upon repeated failure and disappointment in life, we gave up and opted out of their belief system. After so many years of being this far gone, there is no turning back.
Why was >>149476 deleted? I don't think he broke any rules. Unless that guy deleted his own post.
He pretty clearly broke rule 1.
At eight/seven I was telling my grandma I will never marry so no I never "failed" at something society put on me because I never wanted it
is doing it with a double barrel 12 gauge that is wider than my teeth on the roof of my mouth a bad idea? What if aimed upwards on the soft palate? Would you even feel anything?
If i lived literally next to an emt station with ambulances would doing this outside basically guarantee that i would live in an old folks home hooked to a machine or is anywhere in the mouth instant death?
It drives me crazy how its a free country and you can live how you want but you try killing yourself and then theyll try to keep you alive even if you are fucked up.
basically how would you have to aim to guarantee death even if your neighbors are emts so youll die instantly? not gonna do it its just a mental thing knowing theres a way out really
Yeah, I made similar anti-social declarations at that age, all of which I held to. Not all of us are incels.>>149495
It's a good idea if you use buckshot or a slug and aim right, so you don't look like that kid whose parents sued judas priest.
Yea I always have a hard time wrapping my head around that, ufortunately I work at a hospital and in the er the peop le who try to commit suicide they put in green scrubs and guard them, last week before I lost the job I saw some ome who.was like 95 that they were holding down. I stopped in my tracks and couldnt believe it, its so sad the only reason were alive and the only reason we're not allowed to kill ourselves is just because corporations still have to make money off you they have squeeze every cent out of you until there's nothing left. I couldnt fathom any reason why anyone wouldnt let that person just die they cant really move or talk and just shit on themselves but god forbid they feel their life is over and dont wnat to live anymore but even if they do we'll just force a tube down there mouth force them too, what the fuck is wrong with the world
yeah man it makes me feel sick i hate the thought of just withering away one day. honestly i dont think i could pull the trigger but just knowing a sure fire way to die would be a mental pleasure
personally do you think this would work here especially if your neighbors with an emt station>>149509
Put the barrel in your mouth and aim slightly up so it hits the brain stem.
It doesn't matter if the EMTs are five feet away from you when it happens, you're going to be dead as dirt.
Why even hold a long-gun? Too many risks there. Tie it onto a table or something so the muzzle is perfectly horizontal to your head, and build a rig to depress the trigger(s) from where you're seated or standing. This eliminates all the fuss about aiming at a correct angle, or the gun's recoil botching your aim and leaving you alive with no face.
This is how many people back in the day did it.
so aiming straight back would kill wven though it goes under tge brain?
even if it was aimed straight back or just upwards and back i mean would it still probably be instant and unrevivable?
slugs are best maybe?
How the fuck a nigga gonna aim like that? They'll end up shooting their neck. Would shooting the neck with a shotgun decapitate you or anything? sounds foolproof but I dont know
>Why not just saw it off?
Long-gun is defined as a rifle or shotgun, it doesn't mean that the gun is long per se. Even sawed down it's still a long-gun by definition. And regarding recoil, if it's a sawed-off 20 or 12 gauge shotgun it'll have even more of that, making your under the chin/in the mouth suicide so much more risky.
Will the pusher in front of a train push me off its way or will it ride over my head?
Exit Bag would still be my most likely method I think, although its difficult to get pure helium nowadays. I've been thinking more about the charcoal method, but I don't know where I could park my car and not be seen long enough for the CO2 to kill me without some normie cunt intervening.
I thought about doing a one way suicide mission to somewhere like Asia and just drink myself to death and engage in incredibly risky behaviours but that is just escapism. I am an extremely self-conscious neurotic and in no way have a destructive/addictive personality so I'd just end up pussying out after a couple of hangovers.
I did consider flying to American and jumping off the Golden Gate bridge after watching "The Bridge". But I don't want to die in some lefty faggot ridden place like California
Its all escapism. I'll never have the guts. I'll rot away at home for another 60+ years and live to be 100 knowing my luck
Kinda surreal that they try to "rescue" someone committing suicide. But they need those wage slaves, and they will do anything to keep them alive.
this is possible the dumbest post i have ever read
Just to expand on this, I stopped suicidal ideation for the last few years in an attempt to get "better" and I forgot how great it feels. Now I've got a lot clearer reason why I can't commit suicide yet and worked on some of the existential problems, I think I can enjoy suicidal ideation again as something that exists even if I can't do it yet or might not ever be able to.
Suicidal ideation always gives me a rush of happiness that I can't find elsewhere, it's not peace but pure relief. That great relief I presume is what people describe on the day before they kill themselves, that great upturn in mood people say to watch out for to identify the suicidal. When I quit university I was walking home with such a weight off my shoulders, every step felt energized as it pushed down on the pavement. Smile on my face, I didn't give a shit about anything, it was over. That 30 minute walk truly was one of the happiest times. I can remember it well.
I think for people who have never really been happy relief might be the closest we can have to something to look forward to. I can't imagine of my family as a source of happiness, I feel responsibility to them but I don't have the memories of enjoyed moments that would power me through the trenches in a battlefield. That positive happiness in itself is missing from my life, that happiness manifested as a scenario is missing. Suicide is the lowest form, it's the pure negative. It's the ending of your experience and nothing more but you know for at least a few moment you'd feel everything lift off your shoulders. You can stretch that moment out to an entire evening if you don't view your life through the lens of comparative time, that moment can be brought forward in to every second if you want.
There are higher forms, there are dreams of a utopia or a post-life redemption where all suffering is justified and answered. The utopia exists as something in the here and now that makes us feel OK with existing, and the post-life redemption answers not only your suffering but all that suffering in time and space that hangs all around us like a layer of ash. The problem is, these things need belief and form. How does a suicidal person define utopia? How do you create it when you don't even have a template? I defined it negatively, I could not give it positive form because I could not imagine what it was like. It's like the dream I imagine most of us had of moving out to the country and having a farm. I dreamed that, I wanted to leave school to become a farmer before I was convinced to stay. Since then I've had a garden, I went out and built my vegetable beds, I dug trenches, I dug a pond, and I had the chance to do it; but it was never really my dream was it. My dream since I was 13 was just to escape, just to leave, just to get away from it all. Utopia, redemption, the farm in the country; it was all just the desire for an end from someone who couldn't imagine what a future could look like.
I've been emotionally overwhelmed and depressed since I was a child. I am almost a feral child really because of how stunted I am, depression has taken my ability to relate to simple structures that other people use in their lives. I have to sit down with pages of writing to remind myself of simple things to put the world in to context again. You go so long with every effort resulting in no tangible positive result and you forget basic concepts. For those of us with stunted souls there is always the idea of relief, the suicidal ideation of the moments before knowing it'll end. You don't even need delusions about your last moments. I'm fully aware the last minutes will be a body in panic and my hands clawing at something, my chest heavy as my inability to breath becomes apparent. The moments before that though, I can dwell on that imagined relief can't I?
For a time I tried to think of a heaven, I used philosophy to reorientation myself to believe it was "possible" and to focus on the possibility because it was the only answer to this world. I imagined the suffering of the universe, the responsibility of action, the anxiety, the moral calculus, my own heavy heart; I imagined rising up in to the bright light and my heavy skin falling off me like armour. But then what, I couldn't stretch that moment out because it was a pause button; it was imagining existing as this being raised up and transcended. I don't know what that is, the moment before suicide is easier to dwell on and stretch. The long walk to nothingness I have felt, a true relief in a true context. Not only that, it's not just a hoped possibility birthed in a human mind, it's a real thing.
Like the people who fight for their utopian societies I may not even get the suicide I dwell on. I might just die instantly before even registering it. The dying man says "But maybe one day it will exist, and that was worth fighting for". The idea alone in our minds might be enough, knowing it exists without believing you'll experience it is good enough. So I might have to stay alive until my disabled brother is dead, but until then I think suicidal ideation will be my source of energy where all else has failed.
With a single action I put an end to the world and my own suffering, and exit fashionably and with a flourish. A clean, clear end-point - the human brain is primed to seek out reliable absolutes. I find little pleasure in the thought, far too many regrets for that, but it's a relief to see an off switch in the darkness. "Why?" becomes "how much longer?", suffering becomes a one-man endurance contest that I can quit at any time. I understand how you feel, wiz. Pure relief is also what I've felt when quitting two shit jobs and dropping out of college twice. The first time I simply didn't show up at work, and went to the nearby park instead. Peaceful, free.
Suicide by cop sounds cool but not as cool as suicide by fighter jet. https://youtu.be/IgL5jOypOQ8
Chengdu F-7 costs around 2-3 mil, MiG-21 is apparently very cheap. if you get shot down over US presidential airspace you'll probably crash into a populated area. think about it.
>>150078>In latest news. A man who just got his pilot license flew into restricted airspace got shot down by US Air force.
What casualties? If those planes were to be shot by a missile there's nothing left from it.
But i doubt any of us would bother himself enough to get pilot license…