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File: 1556484061029.gif (94.46 KB, 367x506, 367:506, Plainsimplegarak.gif) ImgOps iqdb

 No.200180[View All]

How did you or your parents ruined your life? What did cause your transformation to wizard?
142 posts and 14 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.218972

>>218915
being good-looking doesn't help much unless you can do something else or unless you're super good looking enough to be a model. there are a lot of good-looking guys that just end up bums

 No.218973

>>218972
or criminals, but it only really helps if you have a super symmetrical face like the guy who got a modeling contract based on his mugshot

 No.218974

File: 1587385820789.gif (90.78 KB, 245x250, 49:50, pn9eno2_250.gif) ImgOps iqdb

>it only really helps if you have a super symmetrical face
>being good-looking doesn't help much

this much ignorance, and he took 2 posts for that

 No.218990

>>200180
Non-action

 No.219001

Being subhumans

 No.219031

>>200180
They didn't, I was lucky enough to have decent parents. My failure of a life is mostly all my own doing.

 No.219461

>>200180
>raised by single mother
>young, poor, and stupid
>she hooked up with assholes
>they didn't care to raise me/made life hell
>always moving
>rinse and repeat
>no stability
>no friends
>no adult to guide me
>no healthy home environment
>no emotional development
>no confidence
>presently think about suicide every day because doing the most basic things gives me crushing anxiety attacks
>thrown into the world to fend for myself and have to keep up an act to survive

Honestly I think it would've been best if she kept her legs closed or just got an abortion. I fucking hate her for bringing me into this world.

 No.219490

>>219461
well most adults suck at raising kids anyway but I agree with the conclusion and feel the same.

 No.219493

File: 1588231349387.jpg (65.48 KB, 900x769, 900:769, 1566435301631.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>200180
gonna try to simplify my life story as much as possible

>born to schizophrenic father and bpd bipolar mother

>father beats and rapes mother early childhood
>mother only divorces after he threatens to throw brother off a mountain
>entire childhood is spent being told he was a shitty person and hating him
>moved around ~3 times before 3 years old
>finally in kindergarten, immediately put in special ed, given autism testing for growling at kid, spitting, hiding, and wandering around class
>forced onto adhd meds at 4 years old
>symptoms of schizo by time I'm 5, hallucinating bugs
>diagnosed emotional/behavioral disorder NOS and major depression 5 yrs old
>kids bullied me by beating me up, distinct memory of getting nails ripped off on multiple occasions by being slammed in door by 2 older guys who called me their friend
>during that time, majority of days were spent in mothers friends appartment with 24/7 fights, screaming, video games, and anime
>teenager showed us his anime figs, merch, animes, games, and penis
>time outside was spent eating leaves and grass, getting nude, and swimming in overflowed streets after it rained
>mothers big black boyfriend abuses her, whores her out, abuses drugs in front of us, beats his son regularly, makes us do army punishments at every moment for hours on end
>at 7 years old, got my first friend from special ed, would sleep over at his house, kissed me when I pretended to be asleep because was annoyed of talking
>8 yrs old, got raped by 13 year old while brother watched
>5th move at 10
>mother becomes disabled before the move due to worsening physical health, constantly in bed
>step father becomes gambling addict, we see him less and less
>mother buys me laptop, life becomes computer and school
>addicted to computer at 11, sleep for about 5 hours on weekdays, 0-1 on weekends
>start drinking and smoking very often at 12
>brother starts abusing heroin
>next years of my life are uneventful until 15 aside from same old heroin brothers freakouts and overdoses
>do acid 4 times in 1 month, have psychotic break
>full blown schizophrenic episode lasting 6 months at its worst
>develop sexual delusions, believe everyone is trying to have sex with me/rape me, including parents, family, pets, old people, children, dead people, demons, etc.
>frequently have public freakouts to strangers about it
>9 mental ward hospitalizations
>4 therapists
>2 psychiatrists
>almost drop out of highschool, miss last 2 years, graduate GED with above average to high test scores while still heavily psychotic/painful delusions
>turn down college offer for having high math and sci scores
>after 3 years of pure suffering 15-18, finally find pill that makes me sane enough to function
>start improving
>brother comes home from rehab
>relapses on heroin
>stress from having him around halted all self improvement
>psychotic symptoms are returning
>frequently talk myself and him out of killing ourselves
also mother frequently cuts herself to manipulate me out of moving out and brother from doing anything.

I am land locked in a broken glitched game file on a game cartridge that was pissed on before the game file was ever created

 No.219494

>>219493
That sucks man. My dad is schizo and it's the worst. Glad you were able to avoid getting in trouble.

 No.219803

I still live with my father and his five year old son at age 24 and every day it stresses me out to no end. For context, his kid's mother tried to kill all three of us one night last Summer. The kid was unharmed (physically, mentally he's fucked I'm sure), I was fatally wounded/close to death while my fucktarded dad was talking to neighbors and trying to "document" her bullshit on facebook. Ever since she was put in containment, I've basically been the kids baby sitter. Now this I don't mind, as I love my brother. But sometimes I have things to do, and my brother's usually watching a show or playing with his toys anyway. Well, tonight while I was away, my baby brother got into the medicine cabinet and fed both the dog and himself an entire bottle of melatonin, while my father was supposed to be watching him. I freaked the fuck out at this and punched a hole in the wall. My dad punched me in the face and I was about ready to murder him somehow until I looked at bro's face. What the fuck do I do? He wont tell how much he ate but I assume I should call poison control?

 No.219805

>>219803
If you are not sure, get medical help for him and the dog fast. You can stab your father to death later

 No.219806

>>219803
> I assume I should call poison control?
Yes, immediately.

 No.219809

>>219806
If that post is real which I think it's not, but if it is, that kid is fucked anyway. Imagine your caretaker taking the time to post about your accidental poisoning in a dead ib at the edge of the internet and then waiting for a response while watching some shit on yt. Fucking lol
Some other time that kid will be drowning in a pool and >>219803 is going to post about it on the textboard and wait 2 weeks for a reply while playing video games.

 No.219811

>>219809
Nice assumptions in this post, but no, thankfully, both the dog and my brother seem to be fine. My dog had a stomach ache and relieved himself outside. My brother had the hiccups for a bit, but they're both doing fine now. As I called immediately after posting my story that took less than two mins to write, and did research, the children's melatonin that my brother (but mostly my dog) ate are completely natural and the only harm that could be done is a minor stomach ache and a messed up sleeping schedule which can be easily fixed.

 No.219813

>>219811
>I called immediately after posting
Boy that kid is really fucked. Whatever.

 No.219814

>>219813
Once again nice assumption. I'm not denying the adults in his life will make his life increasingly harder, and I am going to make sure to keep any future suffering he has to a minimum. But why are you assuming he's harmed in anyway when I just confirmed he isn't?

 No.220149

Easy.
>autistic
>ugly
Got both technically from my parents I guess.
Does that count?

 No.220153

>>219811
Melatonin is always harmless. Disturbing how other wizzes gave you stupid info

 No.220154

>>220153
>calling poison control when a dog and child have consumed an entire bottle of medication is stupid
I don't care if the bottle was full of sugar pills, it's always better than the alternative of having a child and pet die under his supervision.

 No.220155

>>219803
Story time about almost dying

 No.220177

Ugly middle child of divorced parents, not much else to say.

 No.220875

Letting me have internet access before high school.

 No.220882

>>200349
Not going to bear out the parents with this one, but everybody makes up coping mechanisms in their mind to justify past mistakes, even if they know what they did is wrong.

 No.221093

>>200182
>>210856
This. You cant be wizard or anything less than charismatic normie as a streamer, also being born into decent enough level of money seems to be common with top streamers.

 No.221260

I wish I was not born a "real" ethnic Bobotante Tangalogistani. I wish I was not born a trans-ethnic Bobotante Tangalogistani. I wish I was not born a fake ethnic Bobotante Tangalogistani.

 No.221303

Tyrannical abusive father and overbearing anxious mother.

[insert bane darkness speech]

 No.221304

>>213200
You need to get the fuck away. Sleep in the streets, if you must.

 No.221381

File: 1591012807899.jpg (9.79 KB, 255x255, 1:1, neveragain.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>200180
Can anyone advise how to get over the Oedipal nightmare?
If i dream of my mother, see her face as soon as i wake up, all sexual drives have been diverted to serve her and completely manipulated into serving and placating.
I've never heard of anyone getting out once it is this deep

 No.221384

>>200288
Who exactly was teasing this wiz into bed??

 No.221497

File: 1591216975291.jpg (112.19 KB, 546x710, 273:355, wizard 2.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

I've been thinking a bit today and I have some thoughts about how I became a wizard (or rather apprentice, cause I'm not 30, but I don't see any sex in my future).

I think one of the main reasons I became a wizard is that I hate succubi. No I'm not trolling or falseflagging, this is just genuinely how I feel and I will explain why.

I grew up in a household of only succubi. And not only that, but almost all of my family's friends were also succubi. My whole life has been dominated by succubi. And I don't think I hate them out of some resentment (as I have some good relations with them), but I think it's because I've come to understand them more than the average normalfag that likely hangs out with their male friends/father/uncle etc. From my understanding, a lot of men have this idealized image of succubi. They have a mother who they obviously love, and maybe a sister, but they often don't interact with them on a level to truly understand them. This is why there are so many "whiteknights" or people who otherwise have succubi on a pedestal.

Many men have this idealized image of succubi broken when they finally move in with their wife or girlfriend, but by then it is too late, and they still may not begin to comprehend them. I believe this is why the common stereotype of the husband who spends all their time at work or the bar came into existence. Many men would simply avoid their wives unless they wanted sex, so they never understood them.

However I have been forced to understand them, and I do not like my findings. And I think I subconsciously always knew and hence why I've never had a girlfriend or sex. I truly do think succubi are the lesser sex. They are childish
(as in acting like a toddler that throws fits and cannot control them self or understand others) well into old age, and they lack a self conscience. They seldom create, and demand that all preoccupations be discarded in favor of themselves. And I have seen these traits expressed in them all my life. Particularly my sister and mother. What is incredible about it is that they hate each other because of these aforementioned qualities, and can see these negative attributes in one another but never themselves. They will always accuse the other of things they do. They will always let others assume responsibility, and should the other fail to assume it themselves they will then demand that they do. They are highly emotional and do not plan well. They are shortsighted and often bad with money. And most of all, they lack empathy. And I mean true empathy that comes from the understanding of someone's thoughts, not just crying because a dog died or because they saw a poor immigrant as these are more trained responses than anything that comes from thinking and reflection.

And because of this i know I will never be able to share my inner thoughts or be intimate with a female. They lack parts of the mind that I desperately need someone else to have in order to communicate and feel love.

I do not hate them with malice or wish them destruction, because I see these things about them not only as part of their nature, but something that men have enabled.

I also believe there are others like me, and I think this is one of the reason there are many gayposters here and why traps and transexuals have become ever more common. Because they have realized the nature of succubi, but still yearn for intimacy. So they turn to men, or men posing as succubi. I personally am just not physically attracted to men, and also resent gays on a personal level, so I was never conscripted into this mindset (though I do think my fetishes are more or less a direct result of my misogyny). I also think this is why anime is appealing to many homosexuals and wizards, because they begin to internalize the moniker of 3DPD, and thus are able to sever associations of 2D succubi with 3D, and can fantasize about being intimate with a female that will truly love them and understand them.

There are other reasons I have rejected sex and intimacy in my life but I think this is one of the biggest ones. Thoughts?

 No.221506

>>221497
>They will always let others assume responsibility, and should the other fail to assume it themselves they will then demand that they do.
Or they will get mad and say that it was the responsibility of someone else and pin the blame on them. Not recognizing that nobody is naturally given responsibility in a group and nobody owes each other anything, which they claim but do not practice.

 No.221531

>>221497
>There are other reasons I have rejected sex and intimacy in my life
What are the other reasons?
Good post, i wish to hear more about your experiences

 No.221549

File: 1591289006412.jpg (349.38 KB, 1920x803, 1920:803, city_wiz_staff.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>221497
I agree 100% with what you've said, my life experience is almost exactly the same. I have grown up observing behaviour and thought processes of female relatives from all age groups (I have younger sister, older sister, mother and grandma), and drawing conclusions based on that. I have pretty good relationship with my sisters, and they're both somewhat intelligent (for females, that is), so I've been able to talk to them in depth about things, and since they didn't need to pretend to be something they're not with me, I could very easily verify my observations about how the succubi in general function on a mental level (also on the biological level, which is something so horrendous that we should not speak of such things here).

I do think overwhelming majority of men never truly learns these things, as they're conditioned by society to either not bother with it (as supposedly the female mind is so complicated that a man could never understand it), or if they dare to do so, they're usually shunned for being too critical and sexist/misogynist/whatever the fuck. Meanwhile reading a few chapters from Otto Weininger's Sex and Character and applying the knowledge in their lives could save many of them from a life full of misunderstanding, confusion and misery. Or maybe the knowledge alone doesn't cut it, and you need to be a strong enough character to go against the conditioning and propaganda of the society about all this. It's rather easy to keep an idealized image of succubi, when it's all there is being pushed in media. By the time they glimpse beyond the facade, it's too late.

In a sense, I do consider apprentices and wizards to be lucky, even if one tiny part of their lives, because they do manage to avoid the source of greatest chaos and destruction that they would invite into their lives if they did not denounce the succubi.

 No.221557

File: 1591294700603.webm (4.75 MB, 640x272, 40:17, high level pol wizard.webm) ImgOps iqdb

>>221531
Most other reasons are the same as many posters here. Being asocial, generally unattractive, and being introduced to imageboards at a fairly young age. Also growing up in recent times I do think that on a political level men are simply rejected from society more frequently, and many of these rejected men seek equally rejected succubi so that they may find a kindred spirit. However the amount of succubi who become rejected from society is far smaller than men, and there honestly may not be any at all. To compound this, people rejected from society have small chances of finding others due to the obvious rejection and trouble forming relationships. It's a bit of a downwards spiral.

Along with this my family structure is far from the norm. I think the nuclear family was so popularized due in part because it did have great success in raising men that could hold a steady job and easily find wives and create more families. It was a self sustaining cycle that is currently being brought to its knees.

I've lost most of the thoughts I had yesterday though, but if I begin to think about it again I will post here.

>>221549
>and since they didn't need to pretend to be something they're not with me, I could very easily verify my observations about how the succubi in general function on a mental level
This too is very important. It's hard to unmask people who are not related, and even harder if they are succubi.
>if they dare to do so, they're usually shunned for being too critical and sexist/misogynist/whatever the fuck
I think it's because succubi are emotionally driven, so someone who is able to identify that and either manipulate them or otherwise resist makes them uncomfortable. They are used to people backing down to satisfy their emotions. It's why things like virgin, gross, and creep are go to insults that are expected to win arguments. They need to be emotionally validated otherwise they won't be willing to give you the satisfaction of being correct. To quote a movie, "You're not wrong, you're just an asshole"

 No.224557

>>200180
I ruined it myself. :^)

 No.224562

Basically got bullied to shit. Ruined me, you can only take so much damage.

 No.224565

>>221549
>my observations about how the succubi in general function on a mental level (also on the biological level, which is something so horrendous that we should not speak of such things here).

Wiz, this must be almost the only and best palce to openly speak about it.

>I do think overwhelming majority of men never truly learns these things, as they're conditioned by society to either not bother with it (as supposedly the female mind is so complicated that a man could never understand it)



And if we can propagate such knowledge, we're losing time not doing so a.s.a.p.

 No.224569


 No.224583

>>224569
holowiz?? you have been quiet for a few weeks brother

 No.224587

>>224583
We should start a request for a /sig/ section, let it be small or less small, but there are some steps…

not every wizard is so disturbed that he couldn't follow self-improvement, we must only understand that it is a thing that we have the energy for it or we don't have.

 No.224593

My parents made me move countries twice. During the first time, it completely shattered my social life because I broke off contact with my high school friends. On the second time it didn't matter because I had no friends in the previous country anyway although adapting to the third country was tough and worsened my depression. Now after 10 years, they will make me move for a fourth time which will make me friendless yet again. I have no choice because I'm a neet and leech off them. I was gonna start making money online to live more independently but the fuckers took me by surprise. If I can't make enough money to move away from them I will probably kill myself

 No.224594

>>224587
Very much agreed, we need a place where the few members who provide consistent help can have their advice brought to the forefront and we can build on their knowledge.
Holowiz, warpwiz and perceptionwiz are all helping me out a lot this year and my mind is slowly beginning to regenerate.

 No.224600

>>224587
I've posted a request to >>>/meta/54880
Please join the conversation if you wish to

 No.224601

>>224593
How are you going to make money online? i've been trying for 15+ years and still am a drooling simpleton when it comes to online resource extraction

 No.224605

File: 1595301064574.jpg (2.38 MB, 2100x2970, 70:99, 1591445432249.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

I actually love my parents but they're divorced and I only saw my father a few times.
But my stepfather is a narcissistic piece of shit. Would be glad if that faggot just dropped dead.

 No.224611

>>200180
I love my dad, although he is incredibly flawed and we had some bad fights in the past I know he really loves me, and he has helped me a lot. Without him and my granddad I wouldn't even be half as knowledgeable as I am. As for my mom, although I love her (somehow) and it pains me to say this, she's not a very good person. If she isn't malicious, she at least is very self-centered and fits the bill for typical narcissistic personality disorder. Not just "mean", she would twist reality when talking to you and did lots of exaggerated things in order to get attention. It's kind of embarrassing seeing it now. Our relationship has always been intense and strained and now that I see how she still acts like a dumb teenage succubus, I'm just tired of it. She still encourages my little sisters to stalk their crushes for fucks sake. It's disgusting behavior really, I'm surprised she hasn't been in legal trouble.

 No.224617

>>224601
I know 3 ways: Faucet Collector, Matched Betting and Crypto/Forex leverage trading. Each way deserves its own thread tbh because they are both long and a bit complex but at least the first 2 ways are simple enough that anyone with an average iq can do them. Take your time to learn them by reading guides and so on. Just as a warning though, matched betting works best in the UK
The last one, leverage trading, is tricky and requires a lot of patience but it's the most solid way to make money online for sure. There's ofc a chance for failure.
My plan is to build enough money from the first two to try and learn the last one. If it doesn't work out then well, I'm left with no choice but to kms even if there are other options.

 No.224626

File: 1595343373314.png (448.04 KB, 912x1287, 304:429, p.txt.png) ImgOps iqdb

My parents abused the shit out of me emotionally and verbally, mainly my father. My father had driven my mother insane though so I got flak from her. I was also heavily bullied at school, and teachers took actions that pulled me away from any friends I did manage to make. By the time I was 9 I was depressed. At 10 I attempted suicide.

I grew up thinking I was a useless waste of space. I grew up constantly suppressing my emotions because there was nothing but pain. I can remember being like 12 and saying to my mother that I wish I was a robot because then I wouldn't feel anything. At 13 I attempted suicide again.

I never finished high-school, I dropped out in year 8 (age 14) and after that had some spotty attempts to go back. I moved out of home at 17 into a student accommodation. From then on I attempted tech college but I could never finish anything (in my country it WAS subsidised). I'd always become super unmotivated and anxious so much that I couldn't even crawl out of bed. When I wasn't going to college I was doing nothing but fapping, playing vidya, and sleeping. Occasionally I'd workout with pushups.
3 years ago I went to a psychologist found out that I had massive PTSD, and I was having non-dissociative flashbacks during class. I also did a mental health program. Since then I've realised that a lot of what I experienced growing up was NOT NORMAL.

Now I don't spend all day in bed but I'm still depressed as fuck. It's not the omega tier, constant suicide ideation, soul crushing depression that it was in the past. But I'm still depressed. I tried applying for another course recently but the anxiety started to crush me again. Nobody wants a late 20s highschool drop out with 6 months employment, total, to his name.

My mother at least apologised for the shit he did.
My dad refuses to acknowledge anything he did was wrong. I don't talk to him anymore.

 No.224627

>>224605
Yeah step parents are many times more likely to abuse kids. I'm sorry.


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