Bad genetics + sand nigger xtard religious indoctrination will turn almost any young boy Wizard unless for whatever arbitrary reason he is selected for quasi or legit celebrity (of some kind) status and thereby the society provides him enough help and support to subvert his otherwise almost certain descent into Wizardom.
For example Andy Milonkis and pewdiepie and boogie2988 are all fucking nerds that should be right here with us as suffering outcasted Wizards but thanks to Jewtube and Jew owned MTV making them “stars” ie D-list “celebrities” they were effectively able to subvert the Wizard’s life.
How did you or your parents ruined your life? What did cause your transformation to wizard?
>no talents, no skills
>mental health issues
>and lack of luck
They bred me into existence
Drunkard dad and abusive mom. No one to guide me in life for 18 or so years.
1. Main factor, out of my control, My ugly face. im a 2/10
2. Main factor, under my control, My laziness. I'm the stereotype Lazy Genius. I could of worked my ass off through a PhD, i really just dont want to.
Not really their fault. I just hate being around people
It's not my parent's fault. I can't blame society or lead in the paint on the walls growing up changing my brain.
I screwed up my life. I had loving parents, a great home environment, and I grew up in a culture that values healthy families and wholesome conservative values. My parents did a great job educating me as a kid, both in academic and moral matters.
And yet I screwed it up. I got lazy in school, expecting my skills at memorization and fact regurgitation to act as a substitute for critical thinking. I lived by a strict set of morals that I flagrantly ignored after becoming addicted to pornography. I took minor personality flaws and self doubts that literally everyone ever has had and inflated them into crippling issues for no reason.
While all my siblings ended up with quite successful lives despite us growing up right on the poverty line due to our upbringing, I ended up a burnt-out loser who joined the military because he was literally out of options. I managed to single-handedly take every opportunity given to me and waste it because I'm retarded.
Now I just keep going in the hopes of dropping dead and saving my parents from feeling guilty if I killed myself. If they ever die I'll probably just commit suicide the next day.
Out of curiosity are you the youngest of your siblings?
>During her affair years, her teasing me in bed, drunk and naked, with me humbly refusing - this led to me having the certain fetish (which is the most dominant of all), and her not remembering a thing.
pewdiepie was always a normie and boogie is just a morbidly obese sociopath, nothing particularly nerdy about him
Obesity for the most part. My parents are both fatties and I was raised on the same diet as them so obviously I also turned out fat.
Being obese as a child meant I was terrible at sports, got bullied all the time which meant I grew up with no confidence and hated myself, developed mental illnesses.
I don't hate my parents, they care about me and are kind people but if they had bothered to feed me a healthy diet as a child I would have probably turned out a very different person.
My parents moved to a neighborhood without any other kids and then didn't ever take me anywhere so I could socialize with people my own age. The people at my school also changed completely from elementary school to middle school to high school. As a result I grew up completely unable to form friendships of any kind.
>Mother's relative failing to hold me when I was a toddler - the result is that I can't see the world in 3D like every other human - no stereoscopic binocular sight. I see the world as decorations, and because of that, I find the digital worlds much more appealing.
Do you know the etiology of this?
>>200180>fed me but care was otherwise minimal>was making most of my meals and doing all my laundry and any other chores needed for life at age 10>spent little time with me thus they ended up knowing absolutely nothing about me yet still thought they did>had a best friend next door as well as many other decent friends in the neighborhood which served as my secondary and real family as far as I was concerned>parents decided to move to small town way out in country>no other kids anywhere near my age nearby>life is now absolute loneliness with my only friend being a super Nintendo (no internet then)>was pulled from school early and didn't see the point of entering the end of sixth grade for 3 months and then graduating>because of this spent six months in this isolation>got fat although not obese in this time frame (parents said and did nothing about it)>finally start school>turns out most the people in the country already knew each other since fucking kindergarten so I am the new fat kid no one cares about>kids in this town have something wrong mentally and act like complete apes hopped up on speed all the time making my adaptation worse>Bullying starts heavily around the middle of 7th grade and continues until senior year. Not just name calling but out right fighting and it was so fucking relentless like going to the battlefield everyday>somehow survive into adult hood although I thought of suicide constantly and took to cutting I made it at least>stuck in small town with no higher education available>over 300 miles away from anything relevant >no future other than working at Wal-mart or Mc Donalds until you die>want to leave but lack money>parents have no interest in helping me leave or even understand I want a future other than living in some hovel working some shit service industry job>decide to work and save as much as possible>fail miserably and have mental break down that makes me unable to leave the house for over a year>become skin and bones during this period because all I do is sit around in the dark staring at the ceiling all day>finally attempt suicide>parents finally wake up and realize how bad off I am>they decide best thing to do is get me away from this town that I hate>They do and my life starts to improve and I start to move forward again>they pull the rug out at the last minute and decide to move me back to place I hate despite me telling them I would kill myself if we went back>they do it anyway>back in extreme despair with suicide planned for the 1st of 2020>no longer care if it makes them sad because they deserve a fucking dead son at this point
I also intend to make my suicide public so my parents will have to live with the shame that the whole town knows. Unlike the city where people don't care they will talk about it for months here. I sincerely hope it ruins their retirement but I know they will find some twisted way to rationalize the whole thing anyway.
Fuck them. Make it murder-suicide, lol.
Your story really infuriated me. Your parents deserve to go to hell.
The worst thing is I also realized the only reason they even had me is because they were failures. While they were not as bad off financially as many people they were not doing really well either and had little to show for it.
So when you are that kind of failure the best thing to do is breed and somehow try and convince yourself that spawning more people in an over populated increasingly more automated world is some kind of achievement. Naturally they grew tired of that and became more neglectful. There really needs to be some sort of test to see if you are both financially and mentally capable of being a parent. Fuck this everyone has the right to breed nonsense.
I'll try to help you be an adult.
abuse of all kinds, to me my upbringing was nightmarish, brain was constantly swimming in stress hormones I was stiff and suspicious and missed out on basic socialization because of it. I ask my parents now and they say it wasn't that bad, they didn't hit me that hard, starving me was an acceptable punishment, locking me outside in the rain and cold was to toughen me up, hitting me when I cried was to prepare me for life as an adult.
all this abuse and neglect isn't what im upset about really, its that my one life, my one shot in life as an organism, as a mammal, as a sentient being was crushed because my parents happened to be psychopathic low iq subhumans, and now my brain-map is fucked up I can't do anything but be a shut-in and lurk the internet.
>>200347>I ask my parents now and they say it wasn't that bad, they didn't hit me that hard, starving me was an acceptable punishment, locking me outside in the rain and cold was to toughen me up, hitting me when I cried was to prepare me for life as an adult.
What really bothers me is not just that they did these bad things to you but actually went out of their way to rationalize it so they wouldn't feel like pieces of shit. If one is going to do evil then so be it but at least have the guts to accept it for what it is.
Also I really don't see how "toughening" you up like that could possibly prepare anyone for adult hood. Because the other kids you interact with are living better lives than that so you spend your whole youth as an outsider and loner which is not the recipe for success especially in the modern world where connections are fucking everything when it comes to opportunities.
yup, its surprising how most people go through life without EVER experience violence. its like another layer of separation between me and normal people, especially hard when growing up as everyone had normal families and I was the violent spazz because that was all I knew, a great source of shame and regret today.
Lack of motivation and I'm too lazy for anything, although I can't say it's ruined, at least not yet. To be honest I'm at the very beginning for that, everyone around me are moving forward (classmates/people I used to talk etc.), like they're studying in university and/or working, socializing, moving forward in life to sum up
My mom died, then left me with this borderline personality negligent father whose entire idea for bringing me up was feed me once a day like a dog and then forget i exist except to harass me or take it out on me whenever he is pissed at life.
Did anyone else as a kid grow up having to deal with getting choked by their bipolar dad because they didnt vacuum the house for their ocd mom? Because apparently my parents think thats normal parenting.
That’s some fucked up parents… My father was an alcoholic but never abused us physically. After my mom told him she wants a divorce after yet another fight which happened because of me he went away for 3-4 days. I am guessing he was drinking himself to death during that time. One morning he just burst in my room grabbed me around the wrists and told me he was going to murder me one day. Had just a few more interactions with him after that and haven’t spoken to him for around 15 years.
My parents only fault is that they have flawed personalities, and never did anything to overcome these flaws. I inherited the bad side of both, and they couldn't fix me, because they never fixed themselves. Therefore there was a lot of incomprehension plus a severe and frequent lack of communication between me and them. But they are good people. My situation is my own fault. Bad choices… so many bad choices. It's like #200252 said, I turned simple personal shortcomings, doubts and weaknesses into forces that control my existence. I turned them into demons that i can no longer exorcise.
My father also nearly choked the life out of me, if it were not for my older brother stopping him. Thankfully my father died last year - though my weak bitch ass is still grieved for him.
Call me a pussy or whatever, but I don't care. My parents were very loving and caring ( although as I'm growing older, I'm getting more distant). But, bullying at school was the number one thing that fucked me up severely. I still had friends at school, but the damage was already done. That and I've always been ridiculously shy and quiet all my life. My parents never addressed the bullying and social anxiety part, but that's on me because I never mentioned that to them.
A male child with no father figure in his life can fuck you in many ways.
I don't know the exact way how they ruined. However, since my childhood, my problems are getting a real issue for me. To stay in thread's topic, i believe they didn't or couldn't raise me up to solve my problems. I have exact same patterns in my all lifetime. I was very dependent on my parents. It brings, somehow, me anger and fear. There was or is no need to someone to ruin my life, i can do it myself.
Bad genetics and negligent parenting fucked me up physically. Abuse fucked me up mentally.
Honestly I'm not even angry at them, some people are just destined to fail at life. Without losers like me there wouldn't be any winners.
I feel you. My parents were really nice (a bit too much on the right of the spectrum for my Taste). They were working class and I was always the golden boy for them, exceptionally beautiful, thick blonde hair, hella smart. But they took care of everything for me, and now I have those Problems in adulthood. I cant plan anything, I decide and redecide faster than a supercomputer and I am horribly in debt. I cant go to any follow up school to get my degree because I was mobbed and abused in school by teachers and schoolfucktards.
My parents made me eat cup cakes as a kid. Its obviously there fault i turned into a pig.
Mine gave me coke in baby bottles nearly every day. At least I managed to lose weight later on. I told them so many times that people like them are the reason abortion should not only be 100% legal but also enforced to prevent braindead idiots like them to curse people into existence.
Lmao thats funny. Reminded me of this caricature of 1950s boomers feeding their babies soda. I forgot where it is from though
My father used to choke me all the time when I was a kid. I'll never forget that feeling as long as I live.
Simce I was a child they fight all the time so I am nervous to be around them and prefer to stay in my room when i hear them around. My mother also asks every single detail of my life constantly and it makes me feel like I am under surveillance. I have to tell her why I am leaving the house, qhere I am going, what I am eating, everything is a question. So mostly I just stay inside my room to avoid the two of them.
I suppose being helicopter parents, they'd walk me to school up until I was like 10. I can literally see my school outside my window, not only that as I can also clearly read the name on the sign…
my parents weren't necessarily abusive towards me growing up, but the allowed me to form some destructive habits and gave up on raising me after what i could guess was their realization of what i was
it wasn't that long ago either, maybe 4 years at most that i could remember being a senior in highschool and just realizing their disappointment every time they saw me, so i'd lock myself up and only come out to eat food or go piss
it was only when i was a senior that i had enough hindsight to see what they thought of me, always trying to make me sound like a badass head honcho with all of the babes, they didn't want to acknowledge what i actually was, just a dumb kid who boarded himself up in his room playing old video games, never making friends or talking to people, it was like that since i was 6
even the "friends" i did have didn't like being around me for too long, i realized that they didn't enjoy my company and merely put up with my shit so i wouldn't do something stupid
Bad genetics + my motherleft me forever, she doesn't even talk to me. That neurotic bitch used to abuse me, and humillate me, then she disappeared. Being ugly as shit and not having a femenine motherly figure made me a wizard.
But I’m a NEET and I hate life just as much as when I wasn’t. Stop making meme posts that do more harm than good.
But without income I become homeless and that is not easy but difficult
i hate my family. my mom and aunt are giant cunts
i got my license a few months back. all i need is a car and i am out this bitch
i'll move to another town and live in my car.
This sounds like the most legendary shifting of one's personal responsibility ever concocted.
Most of us don't have the option of leeching off of our relatives or the government (at least not for very long). let me just say that if your parents are complete pieces of shit then yeah, take em for all they're worth, but if you're like lot of people here (like myself) who had a decent upbringing and your own anxieties and complexes are ultimately what did you in then there is no real comeuppance, it weighs on your conscience.
>mother has so many neuroses and mental illnesses to the point that she can't function in life
>father is an autistic, awkward beta who happened to be raised with a good work ethic
Naturally, I inherited all of their worst traits and I never had a chance. It is a monstrous and cruel society that would allow these two to reproduce.
>How did you or your parents ruined your life? What did cause your transformation to wizard?
but my family is basically all mental illnesses and personality disorders assembled into one collage
for everything we have one candidate ready
you are me basically
>tfw mommy comes clear about herself being suicidal lunatic for most of her life and you finally understand that you never had a chance at a healthy life because you are the spawn of a mentally ill person and a beta weakling faggot who just bred the first succubus that was retarded enough to waste time with him
Same here, more or less. My parents weren't perfect, but they did their best.
I had maybe three friends in school. I lost contact with two in junior high school, and the third after college. Otherwise, I was bullied and otherwise ignored in grade school, and simply ignored in college. I was too ashamed and shy to ask for help.
I wonder if there's something about the specific formula of neurotic aggressive mother + pussy father that creates wizards. It seems to be a recurring theme in this thread. Mine were the exact same.
My mother acted/acts like she's permanently experiencing PMS. Every day or two she flies into a rage at random irrational nonsense.
My early childhood was spent trying and failing to figure out what the hell the pattern was in the things I was getting punished for (I was too young to realize there wasn't one).
My dad is incredibly nice but he's so spineless if you ask him what we should eat for dinner he gets nervous and tries to pass off the decision to somebody else.
Mother was a psychotic violent asshole, didn't know which way was up for most of my life. Father had no idea what to do and I was just stuck in the middle, I respect him more for at least doing things with me sometimes and teaching me useful things. By highschool I was already too far gone, the abuse already broke something crucial in there.
this is about my story:
2/10 face; skinny fat succubus'ish frame; 90 IQ; Abusive family; Single mother from almost birth; dad wanted nothing to do with me; abused by neighbors; that was All before i had gotten to school. Gets to school, discover how hideous i am. And, am bad at Literally everything. class mates decide it is their mission to get me to Sui
I used to feel a lot of resentment towards my parents. But I've become more forgiving. They didn't do anything out of malice, and tried their best to their abilities.
I'm not happy with the DNA they gave me which set me on the course for an unhappy life. Perhaps they could have done more active parenting to avert it.
But I had a normal upbringing compared to what many wizards say.
maybe ive been too poisoned by evopsych to see all they do as selfish genes, when by human morality i have a lot to be grateful for
"I’ve seen human nature firsthand, and I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t get any better. It just gets worse."
-Alan Jonah, Godzilla: King of the Monsters.
Why couldn't my inept parents teach me how to be tough!? Instead they had to sing me "baa baa black sheep". Even niggers are more capable of raising children. Now they wonder why I'm a complete loser too pussy to live life and too pussy to kill myself.
Many hereditary diseases some which cause me physical pain daily. Undiagnosed mental illnesses that I inherited from both my parents(bipolar dad, almost every male figure being a shy anxiety riddled beta). 3/10 looks. Sent me to an expensive school in the hopes of a better education only for me to be ostracised and physically bullied to the point the principal took me out of the school to "protect" me instead of punishing the bullies because they were rich and paying for his salary.>>200998
never really knew the word for it but I guess I'm an antinatalist too anon. At least to some degree. But I believe eugenics are and controlled evolution are a good solution for genetic dead ends such as us.
My childhood was like a kiss on one cheek and a slap on the other. I grew up in the middle of nowhere and was bullied from a young age in every school or institution I attended so I quickly became and recluse and spent my time online. Mother came from an alcoholic family and is borderline. She would be like an angel one minute and within the hour turn into a monster, holding me down and shaking me, telling me how evil i was. Some nights I spent hours listening to her crying in the next room afterwards from her 'guilt'. Next morning would be her begging for forgiveness, only for the same thing to happen again.
Dad was a psychopathic rapist and junkie who hated me from the start. By age 10 he basically sat me down and told me he doesn't want to be my father anymore and abandoned us. I did poorly in college and had no friends, no one ever even spoke to me because I was socially retarded and quiet.
All the mental torment eventually evolved into bipolar disorder and psychosis, for which I now live with day to day in solitude, surviving off of government handouts.
In hindsight I'd like to blame my upbringing, but really I never tried at anything so I have to live with the consequences of my laziness and weakness.
My dad constantly shit on me and said I'd never amount to anything regardless of how hard I tried. He'd always criticize me constantly to the point that I'd give up before even trying since I just didn't want to hear his criticisms. My mom is an enabling doormat who is as passive-aggressive as it gets and will always act as a snotty contrarian even when she doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about.
Also shit genes, no money, no looks from their genetic dead-end material made me the quintessential loser I am now.
My parents basically ensured that I wouldn't have a normal upbringing, when I was in 2nd grade right before the 2008 crash my parents thought it was a good idea to move to Hawaii, I went from having friends and a community around me to being a complete outcast. I was bullied relentlessly by native hawaiians for being white, something that redpilled me on race at a very young age. Because my family was fucking broke we moved all around the country spending my dead granpas stock money that they had inherited, I think I never stayed in one house for more than a year for like 8 years. One of the houses we stayed at my "room" which was just an open area of the bottom floor of the house would flood whenever it rained and little worms would embed themselves on the floor. On top of that my mom has severe bi polar disorder and would often explode on me for little things that I didn't even mean to do and my dad was completely pussy whipped and was wageslaved to the max, he practically barely knows me. All of this is probably the root of my extreme attachment issues but I'm sure my mom giving birth to me in her late 30s didnt help either.
>>205898>2nd grade right before the 2008 crash
Why did you move to Hawaii? Bipolar impulsivity? Fear mongered by the crash?
>How did you or your parents ruin your life?
It's a difficult thing to talk about, I think; I was the only child, raised by a single mother, despite her obvious narcissistic and exploitative tendencies she cared for me, in a tough love sort of way, but I'm sure she believed this approach works best since she herself was raised this way. She'd spur me to do my best in school, plan my life for me, forcefully "guide" me towards what I should be interested in so I could secure a decent job later on in life etc. I rarely objected, and when I did it was in passive form: writing a diary entry or a poem chock-full of obscene words and curses aimed at myself, life, my brain and body and my mother, followed by its inevitable discovery by her, an awkward talk and heavy guilt-tripping. As a result I became neurotic, perfectionist, maximalist and spineless, not to mention the negative traits I "inherited" from her and my father. Upon receiving a B- or C+ on a test I would entertain thoughts of suicide and write suicide notes, one time I broke into tears and stabbed myself in the forearm with a pair of compasses in class; the latter happened in 6th or 5th grade, I think, but the general trend was set back 4th grade.
Like I said, I can't blame her, furthermore, I'd go as far as to say I'm somewhat thankful. If it hadn't been for her control and push I would have achieved nothing: I've always lacked clear, personal life directions and interests. If it hadn't been for her, I would have went downhill and ended up simply pointlessly existing much, much earlier in life.
>What caused your transformation to a wizard?
One life-changing wank.
I was around fourteen years old when I noticed a funny correlation: thoughts about succubi and starting a family would grow more intense the longer I didn't masturbate and disappeared immediately the moment I'd ejaculate. This and so much more dawned on me after a single wank I had while taking a bath sometime around that age, a wizardly "Eureka moment", if you will.
Obviously there were more factors that contributed to me rejecting relationships, like that one book with Medieval and Renaissance art I had that had one too many vanitas paintings.
I know this is mostly my fault, but if my parents put more effort into parenting my life would have been slightly better. I could come home with failing grades and all they would do is give a 5 minute 'do better' speech. It wasn't until I became a junior I realized how fucked my GPA was. I know in the end it was my fault, but if my parents did anything to curb my teenage stupidity may grades would have been slightly better. Same was with driving (parents never took practice driving so I learned how to do it very late), my schools volunteer work (dad found multiple places for me to volunteer one year from co-workers and never told me because 'he didn't think I was interested'. That was the same year I had to beg to get an extension on my volunteer hours), academic opportunities (I could have gotten into one of those fancy middles/high schools if my parents pushed me), and medical stuff (Parents always managed my diabetes without teaching me so when I went to college my blood sugar went crazy). I know this is my fault, but if my parents helped me with it'd I'd be in a better place. Sometimes I dream of having one of those Asian tiger parents because at least they gave a sit about their child instead of leaving them in front of a computer so they'd shut up.
Also my dad told me it was normal to shower once every two weeks and that turned out to be a big fucking lie.
>>200310>not taking revenge
wizdad and wizmom ensures the survival of the wizard race by putting wizson in wizardly situations
They reproduced. I should have never been born.
My mom just gave me the ' were going to kick you out' again, just because I was reading something and didn't know she was talking to me. Mind you she talks 24/7 anyway
Are you certainly sure that'd be the cause? I still wonder how does that works exactly…
>never met father or had any male role models at all
>raised by single mother that didn't give a shit about me, fed me nothing but junk food my whole life which caused me to become obese at a very young age
>spent every weekend alone watching tv because she would go out partying trying to desperately cling on to her youth
i was abandoned as soon as i came out of the womb
i never had a chance
My mother had me when she was 43, I think that pretty much speaks for itself
i love this picture, gives mixed feelings vibes
Poverty and my mom using the welfare she got for me to buy herself food.
They shat me out
There isn't a day that passes without me wishing they didn't do that
The usual wiz/loser making formula of a controlling mother in her 30s and whipped father who had no idea how to raise a son.
The christian indoctrination and constantly switching school while in critical developing ages sure as hell didn't help.
They are very understanding, but they can't hide their frustration.My mom somewhat hopes i come back to church in hopes God manages unfuck my life, it makes me feel a little guilty.
Man and I thought I had it bad at 37. How many birth defects do you have. I would've died in the womb but thanks to the wonders of modern medicine they "saved" me. I have 2 by the way. 1 life threatening the other annoying but both cause physical pain.
Too many factors
>I was raised in a third world guetto so my parents never let me out of the house
>my only friends as a kid were my action figures
>my mom hated my dad and she used to hit me treat me like shit when dad wasn't around
>my dad never let me do anything on my own, even today he will scold me for trying to clean the dishes or do anything around the house when I visit him.
>mom is a narcisist mouthbreather who goldigged my dad and never gave a shit about me
>was the most bullied kid at high school
>parents were constantly trying to kill each others
>have shit genetics
I hate when people say that you can't blame your parents for your life, I will always blame these fuckers for ruining mine, and now that they're getting old, they'll regret all the shit they did to me.
My parents also were very old when i was born, both around 40. I got some variant of Neurofibromatosis plus Hydrocephalus, which really is shit.
But their high age also caused that they never really did things with me that parents should do.
I was actually the second child, the first one for some reason didn't make it so something probably get screwed up with me even though I did make it out and who knows what they had her on that contributed. Otherwise she was also an abusive psycho and dad was always over working himself. I knew the future the second I was in school with others and it wasn't gonna be good.
Just googled those my man. I'm sorry. My mother had toxoplasmosis so her first baby was stillborn. I then popped out with scoliosis and variant of Thalassemia. I spent most of my childhood in hospitals. Blood sample after blood sample with extreme abdominal pain. Then when they finally found it they just told me there's no cure and I just had to live with it. I also have prostate cancer and diabetes to look forward to as it runs in my family. People should have their genes and baby checked before they bring life into this world. Because it's nothing short of cruel how they shit us out and expect us to become something with all the defects we have.
>>209588>I still wonder how does that works exactly…
PewDiePie is a tall blonde Chad with a charismatic personality, don't delute yourself
I have no answer to that question. My whole life is quite normal and boring. There was simply nothing happening and this trend continues.
I feel like Im just an observer watching other people live their lives and have no real life myself. I don't have any goals nor even the knowledge of who I am. It sounds silly but that's how I feel.
Shit genes, not fed enough (heard the shit about "fast metabolism becoz skinny" but I had cold hands and feet, flaky skin and slow-healing sores, was tired all the time, so it can't have been fast), undiagnosed allergies that fucked up my breathing, parents were domineering and controlling as fuck. Nothing was ever good enough for them and I wasn't allowed to do anything, so I learned to just stay in my room and not attract attention, not ask for anything, not try to do anything on my own. At school I was bullied constantly (for being skinny, weak, ugly, sickly, etc) so it was reinforced to do whatever it takes to avoid others, not attract attention, don't ask for anything, don't stand out, etc. My father never taught me any life skills or anything, he seemed to think that after a lifetime of being bullied and learning to keep to myself that I would just magically become confident, successful and wealthy.
Parents were still trying to control everything when I moved out at 26, I still get extremely stressed just thinking about being around them, and being passive as fuck is my permanent personality.
>raised by drug addict single mom who is always at work and never home
>no friends due to anxiety and social phobia
>stay indoors playing games every weekend every summer and all night while in public school
One of the reasons is convincing me that I was "special" and smarter, better than the others. I never was.
Same. I always saw myself as a genius now I realize I am a total airhead.
I only speak when spoken to. I never interact with people. I feel like my life is a lie
I inherited the genes of two unsocial autistic socialist outcasts. Took me out of school at age 9 and let me grow up a sissy. Missed out completely on a massive amount of social and academic education that has left me completely fucked now I’m miraculously in college. Partly becoming my fault now as I make the bare minimum effort with college, but I can blame that on essentially having been left a teenage NEET and internalising lazy habits while my parents fought and drunk their sanity away for years.
I’m still fairly young but I’ve very much given up on the idea of social integration - I only wanted to do that before I discovered what society is really like. Fitting in would require me to dramatically change myself and despite everything I’d ultimately rather keep on going alone as I am than change for the sake of some fucking normans. Also my libido is pathetic so I hardly even fap let alone desire sex, and I’ve always cringed at romantic shit. Not worth it at all far as I see it.
Mom absolutely needed to be impregnated after 40.
This resulted in me having a younger sibling that's got a whole lot of issues and in general our quality of life went down the drain with all the bickering, needless spending and damage he causes.
I have autism
I was raised by a single mum who used to go on about how retarded I was, every single morning. I'd wake up to her almost every day crying about how I was a horrible child and how no other mother has to put up with such horrible kids. She used to pimp me and my little brother out at parties for attention, going on about how sickly and special we were, I remember my brother coming home from a christmas party in tears at 11 because mum had treated him like a freakshow.
I grew up with low self esteem due to that abuse. And then as an adult, after I started having problems, my dad took me out from the mental health ward and got me employment. My dad poured his soul into helping me, but his denial of my autism and his scaremongering about life fucked me up. He kept on saying that I'd be abused and homeless unless I worked full time, and pressured me to keep employment even when I was broken and drying to kill myself every second day. I ended up becoming worse and worse and started entering psychosis, no matter how many times I'd lash out, even going as far to commit armed robbery to escape work, I was dragged back. My cries for help were called 'nutter shit' and I was told that if I ever went into a mental institution, they'd drug me to the point of being retarded and I'd be gone forever.
I'm killing myself this weekend guys.
This is my life. >>212308>>212309
Me too. I thought I was a genius for years.>>212311
I feel like I just sit by silently watching the world go by like a shadow.
Lol same, except she can functionally work since she’s been a tracher for 40 years and is very like by her students, but apart from that she’s always shouting and having hissyfits, insulting my dad, whom she fucked for 15 years straight until her lover died
Dude, at least you don't live in a disgusting dirty and depressing Russia like me. You have no idea how high the level of poverty, corruption and suicide is here. But I understand your suffering.
at least you don't live in africa where children are literally starving
I'm in my late twenties. My dad always pats my head and tickles my ribs just as you'd do to a toddler or a dog. He does this in front of visitors, in public and then gets mad at me for when I can't get people to take me seriously.. I asked him to stop every time, so perhaps over 1000 times I've asked in the last few years alone. I am doing just well speaking with someone in a store asking for what I need and he does this to me? Then they laugh and stop helping me
so this is how a 35 year old perpetual wizboy in /b/ was raised
My father obviously never wanted children, my mother sees her children as pets, dolls, children she always has to lecture despite that they're 30 year old. If you do the motions that would imply your goal is to move out of her reach, she will sabotage you, if you move out of her reach, she forgets about your existence.
My mother values obedience and loyalty from me the same way you expect from a dog you don't exactly like. It occured to me the moment I got into competitive Counter-Strike, or any other hobby really.
Once she pin-pointed that I'm enjoying myself in some way she'd threaten to take it away, or take it away/sabotage it until I gave up on my own.
The holiest thing in the household is her effort she puts into cooking. Meals are always at random times of the day, and if you had plans then, or you weren't there for it, she'd be mad at you for the rest of the day.
The biggest crime is wearing headphones, because she's randomly yelling your name from the other end of the house, and if you don't come running like a dog, she goes into crying mode
>What if I needed help?
There's three other people in the house at all times, so it's just a power thing. No matter what you're doing, it's less important than her.
I too am living life as an NPC.
great reference to that MUTTER video, my wizbrother.
By breeding 9 kids. Really wtf were they thinking? Even if they had the money there's no way they would have the time to care for half of them, and they didn't.
Now the kids are grown up to be losers hating each other
Wtf were they even thinking, wtf did they feel the need to drag me into this overcrowded family to experience this miserable childhood and shitty life.
Wish I had a time machine to kill them before I was born.
Sounds like hell, I've got two siblings and my parents never should have had more than one.
I wouldn't be born too, so everyone would be happier if that was the case.
My parents never cared about me. Being the fourth kid in a family where escalation was immminent permanently they always ignored me. So I was playing by myself and watching the TV alone all day. I don't even know what family means. What humans do. I am in my own dream world. For more than 25 years now. And the last decade I finally saw how much of a dead end failure I am compared to other people. I just wish I was dead.
Life was a mistake.
neurotic helicopter/tigermom who micromanaged me from an early age, emotionally distant dad who was just there barely involved in any meaningful sense. mom's overprotection turned me into a shut-in, anxiety-ridden agoraphobe (constant criticism and input turned me into a big worrier). after college mom changed her personality into something suitable for better parenting, by cooling off and relaxing somewhat, but doesn't give a shit about parenting now and only herself.
never got a date, now they think i'm gay. they would rather explain away my cloistered reclusion as a psychological battle with intrinsic gayness, rather than external factors (environment and parenting)
STFU with your frivolous shit, there are people who have experienced real cruel things, you were obviously fortunate enough not to
I've had similar experience, though I am the first kid. It seems like my mom didn't have time for me because there was always a young kid that required special attention. And my dad was working day and night to keep this mess running.
they made me with their shitty genes. then mutilated me. then they ruined me with other trauma as a child and even now they haunt me i want to make them suffer
Your father really had to assert his dominance to such libertine but he just didn't! That's why these mothers are how they are!
You don't cry for help. Just trim out what bothers you with violence.
Unless family. If under their roof, obey, then escape. Then just serve them from a cautious distance
ur parents sound awesome. those kind of people don't ruin lives.
Both, I can't deny my failure as a person and my bad genetics, but my family was too overprotective, they was do'nt teach myself to fend for myself, I don't teach anything but to be a problem to kept and to be afraid if I did not get good grades at school, almost never We went out as a family, my mother did not spend much time with me and when I did she did not feel pleasant, I think it had a lot to do with I not being able to relate to people some time later and becoming an introverted person, with social anxiety and I never leaves home
Many religions want followers to reproduce a lot, or be 'fruitful'.
was always bullied @ school but really took a turn for the worst when parents took me from the comfortable house and neighbourhood i had known all my life to this small town in the middle of nowhere. i knew no one and was bullied even worse by the kids in new school and developed anorexia and almost died. Then went to Uni and in my first year had bizarre psychological breakdown and missed most of the classes due to being in psych ward and almost failed. and second and third years i was consistently rejected from any groups i wanted to join. had another breakdown and had to go to ward again but this stay was shorter. now in 4th and final year and will probably get degree but not a good enough grade to get work beyond menial tasks.
I hope you can elaborate on that. Or point me to a resource that could help with that.
I just deleted a long paragraph
They caused me to feel guilt, morality, and be honest, things you need to do without to make it in this world
You should kill them. It's easier to get away with it than you might think.
I've thought about it and I might even but I don't live in Norway and Im a suicidal NEET so going into the real world would be extremely difficult
>>218702>My dad even beat the shit out of me when I was little for no reason just to fuel his giant fucking ego and feel like a big man but never laid a finger on my sister because can't hurt muh wimmenz.
iktf, fuck everything
He is 5'9, a manlet, not tall.
Yeah, he's not tall, but he can get away with it as an entertainer, having blue eyes, and his face being properly structured.
my parents had me mgm'd too….not exactly a shocker when your kid grows up to despise you when the first interaction was them allowing me to get mutilated
how does mgm mean circumsized?
Male Genital Mutilation
Ah that makes sense
a bit off topic but heavily underrated character.
Garak is the best, watch ds9
I don't really think this matters a lot. A lot of successful well-adjusted normalfags got circumcized.
I'm in the weird situation where my dad looks like a chad, but my mum doesn't look as attractive. I feel like an asshole saying that, but it isn't out of malice toward her, instead it is how I turned out. Everything is skewed, literally. 2/10 at best, bullied for being ugly at school and never having any interactions with females. Don't see why I should be alive, especially when I see old photos of my dad and see my potential self eradicated. Perhaps this is all completely shallow and unfounded, maybe I'm not as bad looking as I think. But I can't help but be so vain about it.
He’s not saying circumcision made him a wizard, he’s saying he hates his parents for doing it to him, which is entirely justified.
being good-looking doesn't help much unless you can do something else or unless you're super good looking enough to be a model. there are a lot of good-looking guys that just end up bums
or criminals, but it only really helps if you have a super symmetrical face like the guy who got a modeling contract based on his mugshot
They didn't, I was lucky enough to have decent parents. My failure of a life is mostly all my own doing.
>>200180>raised by single mother>young, poor, and stupid>she hooked up with assholes >they didn't care to raise me/made life hell>always moving>rinse and repeat>no stability>no friends>no adult to guide me>no healthy home environment>no emotional development>no confidence>presently think about suicide every day because doing the most basic things gives me crushing anxiety attacks>thrown into the world to fend for myself and have to keep up an act to survive
Honestly I think it would've been best if she kept her legs closed or just got an abortion. I fucking hate her for bringing me into this world.
well most adults suck at raising kids anyway but I agree with the conclusion and feel the same.
gonna try to simplify my life story as much as possible
>born to schizophrenic father and bpd bipolar mother>father beats and rapes mother early childhood>mother only divorces after he threatens to throw brother off a mountain>entire childhood is spent being told he was a shitty person and hating him>moved around ~3 times before 3 years old>finally in kindergarten, immediately put in special ed, given autism testing for growling at kid, spitting, hiding, and wandering around class>forced onto adhd meds at 4 years old>symptoms of schizo by time I'm 5, hallucinating bugs>diagnosed emotional/behavioral disorder NOS and major depression 5 yrs old>kids bullied me by beating me up, distinct memory of getting nails ripped off on multiple occasions by being slammed in door by 2 older guys who called me their friend>during that time, majority of days were spent in mothers friends appartment with 24/7 fights, screaming, video games, and anime>teenager showed us his anime figs, merch, animes, games, and penis>time outside was spent eating leaves and grass, getting nude, and swimming in overflowed streets after it rained>mothers big black boyfriend abuses her, whores her out, abuses drugs in front of us, beats his son regularly, makes us do army punishments at every moment for hours on end>at 7 years old, got my first friend from special ed, would sleep over at his house, kissed me when I pretended to be asleep because was annoyed of talking>8 yrs old, got raped by 13 year old while brother watched>5th move at 10>mother becomes disabled before the move due to worsening physical health, constantly in bed>step father becomes gambling addict, we see him less and less>mother buys me laptop, life becomes computer and school>addicted to computer at 11, sleep for about 5 hours on weekdays, 0-1 on weekends>start drinking and smoking very often at 12>brother starts abusing heroin>next years of my life are uneventful until 15 aside from same old heroin brothers freakouts and overdoses>do acid 4 times in 1 month, have psychotic break>full blown schizophrenic episode lasting 6 months at its worst>develop sexual delusions, believe everyone is trying to have sex with me/rape me, including parents, family, pets, old people, children, dead people, demons, etc.>frequently have public freakouts to strangers about it>9 mental ward hospitalizations>4 therapists>2 psychiatrists>almost drop out of highschool, miss last 2 years, graduate GED with above average to high test scores while still heavily psychotic/painful delusions>turn down college offer for having high math and sci scores>after 3 years of pure suffering 15-18, finally find pill that makes me sane enough to function>start improving>brother comes home from rehab>relapses on heroin>stress from having him around halted all self improvement>psychotic symptoms are returning>frequently talk myself and him out of killing ourselves
also mother frequently cuts herself to manipulate me out of moving out and brother from doing anything.
I am land locked in a broken glitched game file on a game cartridge that was pissed on before the game file was ever created
That sucks man. My dad is schizo and it's the worst. Glad you were able to avoid getting in trouble.
I still live with my father and his five year old son at age 24 and every day it stresses me out to no end. For context, his kid's mother tried to kill all three of us one night last Summer. The kid was unharmed (physically, mentally he's fucked I'm sure), I was fatally wounded/close to death while my fucktarded dad was talking to neighbors and trying to "document" her bullshit on facebook. Ever since she was put in containment, I've basically been the kids baby sitter. Now this I don't mind, as I love my brother. But sometimes I have things to do, and my brother's usually watching a show or playing with his toys anyway. Well, tonight while I was away, my baby brother got into the medicine cabinet and fed both the dog and himself an entire bottle of melatonin, while my father was supposed to be watching him. I freaked the fuck out at this and punched a hole in the wall. My dad punched me in the face and I was about ready to murder him somehow until I looked at bro's face. What the fuck do I do? He wont tell how much he ate but I assume I should call poison control?
If you are not sure, get medical help for him and the dog fast. You can stab your father to death later
>>219803> I assume I should call poison control?
If that post is real which I think it's not, but if it is, that kid is fucked anyway. Imagine your caretaker taking the time to post about your accidental poisoning in a dead ib at the edge of the internet and then waiting for a response while watching some shit on yt. Fucking lol
Some other time that kid will be drowning in a pool and >>219803
is going to post about it on the textboard and wait 2 weeks for a reply while playing video games.
Nice assumptions in this post, but no, thankfully, both the dog and my brother seem to be fine. My dog had a stomach ache and relieved himself outside. My brother had the hiccups for a bit, but they're both doing fine now. As I called immediately after posting my story that took less than two mins to write, and did research, the children's melatonin that my brother (but mostly my dog) ate are completely natural and the only harm that could be done is a minor stomach ache and a messed up sleeping schedule which can be easily fixed.
>>219811>I called immediately after posting
Boy that kid is really fucked. Whatever.
Once again nice assumption. I'm not denying the adults in his life will make his life increasingly harder, and I am going to make sure to keep any future suffering he has to a minimum. But why are you assuming he's harmed in anyway when I just confirmed he isn't?
Got both technically from my parents I guess.
Does that count?
Melatonin is always harmless. Disturbing how other wizzes gave you stupid info
>>220153>calling poison control when a dog and child have consumed an entire bottle of medication is stupid
I don't care if the bottle was full of sugar pills, it's always better than the alternative of having a child and pet die under his supervision.
Story time about almost dying
Ugly middle child of divorced parents, not much else to say.
Letting me have internet access before high school.
Not going to bear out the parents with this one, but everybody makes up coping mechanisms in their mind to justify past mistakes, even if they know what they did is wrong.
This. You cant be wizard or anything less than charismatic normie as a streamer, also being born into decent enough level of money seems to be common with top streamers.
I wish I was not born a "real" ethnic Bobotante Tangalogistani. I wish I was not born a trans-ethnic Bobotante Tangalogistani. I wish I was not born a fake ethnic Bobotante Tangalogistani.
Tyrannical abusive father and overbearing anxious mother.
[insert bane darkness speech]
You need to get the fuck away. Sleep in the streets, if you must.
Can anyone advise how to get over the Oedipal nightmare?
If i dream of my mother, see her face as soon as i wake up, all sexual drives have been diverted to serve her and completely manipulated into serving and placating.
I've never heard of anyone getting out once it is this deep
Who exactly was teasing this wiz into bed??
I've been thinking a bit today and I have some thoughts about how I became a wizard (or rather apprentice, cause I'm not 30, but I don't see any sex in my future).
I think one of the main reasons I became a wizard is that I hate succubi. No I'm not trolling or falseflagging, this is just genuinely how I feel and I will explain why.
I grew up in a household of only succubi. And not only that, but almost all of my family's friends were also succubi. My whole life has been dominated by succubi. And I don't think I hate them out of some resentment (as I have some good relations with them), but I think it's because I've come to understand them more than the average normalfag that likely hangs out with their male friends/father/uncle etc. From my understanding, a lot of men have this idealized image of succubi. They have a mother who they obviously love, and maybe a sister, but they often don't interact with them on a level to truly understand them. This is why there are so many "whiteknights" or people who otherwise have succubi on a pedestal.
Many men have this idealized image of succubi broken when they finally move in with their wife or girlfriend, but by then it is too late, and they still may not begin to comprehend them. I believe this is why the common stereotype of the husband who spends all their time at work or the bar came into existence. Many men would simply avoid their wives unless they wanted sex, so they never understood them.
However I have been forced to understand them, and I do not like my findings. And I think I subconsciously always knew and hence why I've never had a girlfriend or sex. I truly do think succubi are the lesser sex. They are childish
(as in acting like a toddler that throws fits and cannot control them self or understand others) well into old age, and they lack a self conscience. They seldom create, and demand that all preoccupations be discarded in favor of themselves. And I have seen these traits expressed in them all my life. Particularly my sister and mother. What is incredible about it is that they hate each other because of these aforementioned qualities, and can see these negative attributes in one another but never themselves. They will always accuse the other of things they do. They will always let others assume responsibility, and should the other fail to assume it themselves they will then demand that they do. They are highly emotional and do not plan well. They are shortsighted and often bad with money. And most of all, they lack empathy. And I mean true empathy that comes from the understanding of someone's thoughts, not just crying because a dog died or because they saw a poor immigrant as these are more trained responses than anything that comes from thinking and reflection.
And because of this i know I will never be able to share my inner thoughts or be intimate with a female. They lack parts of the mind that I desperately need someone else to have in order to communicate and feel love.
I do not hate them with malice or wish them destruction, because I see these things about them not only as part of their nature, but something that men have enabled.
I also believe there are others like me, and I think this is one of the reason there are many gayposters here and why traps and transexuals have become ever more common. Because they have realized the nature of succubi, but still yearn for intimacy. So they turn to men, or men posing as succubi. I personally am just not physically attracted to men, and also resent gays on a personal level, so I was never conscripted into this mindset (though I do think my fetishes are more or less a direct result of my misogyny). I also think this is why anime is appealing to many homosexuals and wizards, because they begin to internalize the moniker of 3DPD, and thus are able to sever associations of 2D succubi with 3D, and can fantasize about being intimate with a female that will truly love them and understand them.
There are other reasons I have rejected sex and intimacy in my life but I think this is one of the biggest ones. Thoughts?
>>221497>They will always let others assume responsibility, and should the other fail to assume it themselves they will then demand that they do.
Or they will get mad and say that it was the responsibility of someone else and pin the blame on them. Not recognizing that nobody is naturally given responsibility in a group and nobody owes each other anything, which they claim but do not practice.
>>221497>There are other reasons I have rejected sex and intimacy in my life
What are the other reasons?
Good post, i wish to hear more about your experiences
I agree 100% with what you've said, my life experience is almost exactly the same. I have grown up observing behaviour and thought processes of female relatives from all age groups (I have younger sister, older sister, mother and grandma), and drawing conclusions based on that. I have pretty good relationship with my sisters, and they're both somewhat intelligent (for females, that is), so I've been able to talk to them in depth about things, and since they didn't need to pretend to be something they're not with me, I could very easily verify my observations about how the succubi in general function on a mental level (also on the biological level, which is something so horrendous that we should not speak of such things here).
I do think overwhelming majority of men never truly learns these things, as they're conditioned by society to either not bother with it (as supposedly the female mind is so complicated that a man could never understand it), or if they dare to do so, they're usually shunned for being too critical and sexist/misogynist/whatever the fuck. Meanwhile reading a few chapters from Otto Weininger's Sex and Character and applying the knowledge in their lives could save many of them from a life full of misunderstanding, confusion and misery. Or maybe the knowledge alone doesn't cut it, and you need to be a strong enough character to go against the conditioning and propaganda of the society about all this. It's rather easy to keep an idealized image of succubi, when it's all there is being pushed in media. By the time they glimpse beyond the facade, it's too late.
In a sense, I do consider apprentices and wizards to be lucky, even if one tiny part of their lives, because they do manage to avoid the source of greatest chaos and destruction that they would invite into their lives if they did not denounce the succubi.
Most other reasons are the same as many posters here. Being asocial, generally unattractive, and being introduced to imageboards at a fairly young age. Also growing up in recent times I do think that on a political level men are simply rejected from society more frequently, and many of these rejected men seek equally rejected succubi so that they may find a kindred spirit. However the amount of succubi who become rejected from society is far smaller than men, and there honestly may not be any at all. To compound this, people rejected from society have small chances of finding others due to the obvious rejection and trouble forming relationships. It's a bit of a downwards spiral.
Along with this my family structure is far from the norm. I think the nuclear family was so popularized due in part because it did have great success in raising men that could hold a steady job and easily find wives and create more families. It was a self sustaining cycle that is currently being brought to its knees.
I've lost most of the thoughts I had yesterday though, but if I begin to think about it again I will post here.>>221549>and since they didn't need to pretend to be something they're not with me, I could very easily verify my observations about how the succubi in general function on a mental level
This too is very important. It's hard to unmask people who are not related, and even harder if they are succubi.>if they dare to do so, they're usually shunned for being too critical and sexist/misogynist/whatever the fuck
I think it's because succubi are emotionally driven, so someone who is able to identify that and either manipulate them or otherwise resist makes them uncomfortable. They are used to people backing down to satisfy their emotions. It's why things like virgin, gross, and creep are go to insults that are expected to win arguments. They need to be emotionally validated otherwise they won't be willing to give you the satisfaction of being correct. To quote a movie, "You're not wrong, you're just an asshole"
I ruined it myself. :^)
Basically got bullied to shit. Ruined me, you can only take so much damage.
>>221549>my observations about how the succubi in general function on a mental level (also on the biological level, which is something so horrendous that we should not speak of such things here).
Wiz, this must be almost the only and best palce to openly speak about it.
>I do think overwhelming majority of men never truly learns these things, as they're conditioned by society to either not bother with it (as supposedly the female mind is so complicated that a man could never understand it)
And if we can propagate such knowledge, we're losing time not doing so a.s.a.p.
holowiz?? you have been quiet for a few weeks brother
We should start a request for a /sig/ section, let it be small or less small, but there are some steps…
not every wizard is so disturbed that he couldn't follow self-improvement, we must only understand that it is a thing that we have the energy for it or we don't have.
My parents made me move countries twice. During the first time, it completely shattered my social life because I broke off contact with my high school friends. On the second time it didn't matter because I had no friends in the previous country anyway although adapting to the third country was tough and worsened my depression. Now after 10 years, they will make me move for a fourth time which will make me friendless yet again. I have no choice because I'm a neet and leech off them. I was gonna start making money online to live more independently but the fuckers took me by surprise. If I can't make enough money to move away from them I will probably kill myself
Very much agreed, we need a place where the few members who provide consistent help can have their advice brought to the forefront and we can build on their knowledge.
Holowiz, warpwiz and perceptionwiz are all helping me out a lot this year and my mind is slowly beginning to regenerate.
I've posted a request to >>>/meta/54880
Please join the conversation if you wish to
How are you going to make money online? i've been trying for 15+ years and still am a drooling simpleton when it comes to online resource extraction
I love my dad, although he is incredibly flawed and we had some bad fights in the past I know he really loves me, and he has helped me a lot. Without him and my granddad I wouldn't even be half as knowledgeable as I am. As for my mom, although I love her (somehow) and it pains me to say this, she's not a very good person. If she isn't malicious, she at least is very self-centered and fits the bill for typical narcissistic personality disorder. Not just "mean", she would twist reality when talking to you and did lots of exaggerated things in order to get attention. It's kind of embarrassing seeing it now. Our relationship has always been intense and strained and now that I see how she still acts like a dumb teenage succubus, I'm just tired of it. She still encourages my little sisters to stalk their crushes for fucks sake. It's disgusting behavior really, I'm surprised she hasn't been in legal trouble.
I know 3 ways: Faucet Collector, Matched Betting and Crypto/Forex leverage trading. Each way deserves its own thread tbh because they are both long and a bit complex but at least the first 2 ways are simple enough that anyone with an average iq can do them. Take your time to learn them by reading guides and so on. Just as a warning though, matched betting works best in the UK
The last one, leverage trading, is tricky and requires a lot of patience but it's the most solid way to make money online for sure. There's ofc a chance for failure.
My plan is to build enough money from the first two to try and learn the last one. If it doesn't work out then well, I'm left with no choice but to kms even if there are other options.
My parents abused the shit out of me emotionally and verbally, mainly my father. My father had driven my mother insane though so I got flak from her. I was also heavily bullied at school, and teachers took actions that pulled me away from any friends I did manage to make. By the time I was 9 I was depressed. At 10 I attempted suicide.
I grew up thinking I was a useless waste of space. I grew up constantly suppressing my emotions because there was nothing but pain. I can remember being like 12 and saying to my mother that I wish I was a robot because then I wouldn't feel anything. At 13 I attempted suicide again.
I never finished high-school, I dropped out in year 8 (age 14) and after that had some spotty attempts to go back. I moved out of home at 17 into a student accommodation. From then on I attempted tech college but I could never finish anything (in my country it WAS subsidised). I'd always become super unmotivated and anxious so much that I couldn't even crawl out of bed. When I wasn't going to college I was doing nothing but fapping, playing vidya, and sleeping. Occasionally I'd workout with pushups.
3 years ago I went to a psychologist found out that I had massive PTSD, and I was having non-dissociative flashbacks during class. I also did a mental health program. Since then I've realised that a lot of what I experienced growing up was NOT NORMAL.
Now I don't spend all day in bed but I'm still depressed as fuck. It's not the omega tier, constant suicide ideation, soul crushing depression that it was in the past. But I'm still depressed. I tried applying for another course recently but the anxiety started to crush me again. Nobody wants a late 20s highschool drop out with 6 months employment, total, to his name.
My mother at least apologised for the shit he did.
My dad refuses to acknowledge anything he did was wrong. I don't talk to him anymore.
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Yeah step parents are many times more likely to abuse kids. I'm sorry.