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 No.204052[Last 50 Posts]

Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.

Please, be respectful to each other.



Previous thread:


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Does anyone here listen to DSBM?


Cool but also lame at the same time.


I have to hear my mom's dog bark everyday and have to deal with the hair and smell. Apparently that's okay for her because that makes her happy and it's completely 'normal' based on what we can see on tv and the rest of the dumb world, those are the reasons STUPID people give when arguing if something is right or moral. Having a dog living inside your house is primitive and unhygienic and a result of the alarming brainwashing that has gone unnoticed for years I don't know how. Pet industry has to be abolished. Dogs are treated like Gods when objectively DOGS ARE NO BETTER THAN ANY OTHER ANIMAL. Fuck people and their idiotic ways of thinking and living. Imagine taking care of an species throughout their WHOLE ADULT LIFE. FUCK YOU HUMANS WHO LOVE AND PRAISE DOGS YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE CALLED CIVILIZED OR BE PART OF MODERN SOCIETY. YOU ARE CAVEMEN AND YOU AND I CANNOT COEXIST.


If it makes her happy why is it so wrong, surely the dog doesn't cause you more annoyance then it gives her joy?



so you think YOU are OBJECTIVELY better than dogs or other animals?


Why did the Internet become such a normalgroid shithole so quickly when previously everyone caught using it was shunned and ostracized?
I feel nothing but hatred and fucking disgust at how people ruined the internet, it became a vile and really inhospitable place of forced politics of a shitty species, unfunny jokes and memes, and nothing but a free source of attention for more normalscum. I can't find a place to lurk or post at anymore, how ironic is it that now even online I feel alienated and more so isolated than in real life? Where do I belong anymore? Am I seriously going to die now?


Why do you care? I think it's great, we have a lot more things available on the internet right now. Normgroids don't affect my life, not even on Youtube. I log in and only see videos from the Youtube channel I'm subscribed to or videos related to the ones I've been watching. Plus, things are faster and better now.


I think it's a sign, that you (or me) have to make a move. What that move is, I don't know, but it has to be significant.


Your frustration just proves your desperate need of some kind of socialization

If only a nerdy succubus happens unto you then you won't be depressed anymore, poor wiz…


I wouldn't care one bit if it wasn't always shoved in my face for several weeks on end with no intentions of stopping. I am just tired of seeing them everywhere.
most if not all websites now are boring to me, including Youtube, which I thought would never get boring.
Pretty bold of you to assume I am a crab, and yes socializing is a literal need as much as your physical needs, don't even act as if posting here isn't a form of socializing.


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> Pretty bold of you to assume I am a crab, and yes socializing is a literal need as much as your physical needs,
but you just confirmed yourself you're a crab?

>don't even act as if posting here isn't a form of socializing.

but I'm not posting here out of necessity, I'm only here one or twice per several months and I'm not half as butthurt as you


Haha am I being trolled LOL?
Neither am I posting here out of necessity, the rant is my first post I've made this year.
And nowhere have I mentioned anything even slightly related to crabs, You're only assuming something out of the blue..


This whole post of yours is related to crabs >>204082




Does anyone have tips for disassociating to get through life? I've found repeating "1,2,3" in my head over and over silencing this urge to be in my body or conscious, and it allows me to focus and not experience my body while I do things.


went on a wizwalk and saw a succubus treating her dog like shit normoids saw it and got asshurt i couldn't give two shits dogs deserve every beating they get make less fucking noise.


Dogs are all love till they fucking bite you, especially if it's a Pitbull. Anyways, dogs are still better than people because they don't talk.


> dogs are still better than people because they don't talk.

A dog couldn't possibly read this and yet this stupid dumb motherfucker has the need to post this. It's like those whiteknights faggots who have to defend succubi everywhere even on places where there are no succubi.


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I just don't like noisy people and idle chatter and I'm not really talking to you, since I'm not using my voice, I'm having a conversation with you through texts, which is a different thing.



lol doghurt


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lol barking literally makes your Nervous System panic and you can't do nothing about it since you have no control over it.

> The Autonomic Nervous System & the Endocrine System

>The organs of the body that are beyond our conscious control, like those listed above, together with the nerve cells that connect them, are known as the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS).
>Notice that when you hear the sharp report of a barking dog, it gives you a start. Physically you feel yourself give a little jump and you experience a sudden sense of tension. That feeling is the autonomic nervous system speeding up the inner workings of your body. As the barking continues on, the neurons continue firing and you become increasingly tense.
>While the ANS makes us feel tense, it is the endocrine system that makes us feel anxious when we are in close proximity to a barking dog. That's not surprising really. The hormonal (endocrine) system is regulated by a primitive part of the human brain that seems to respond instantly to the primitive threats and messages of desperation that are implicit in the voice of a chronically barking dog. That's part of why barking drives people wild.

how barking can fuck your life

>To really appreciate the impact that chronic barking has on your autonomic and endocrine systems and, thus, your emotional state, you must also factor-in the length of time required for our bodies to return to normal after an acoustic shock like that which we receive when a nearby dog releases a loud, sudden, percussive burst of barking. If it happens only once, you may return to normal in a matter of seconds. However, with each additional episode of barking, your systems fire-up more quickly, and it takes a little longer to return to baseline. If it happens frequently enough, you will still be wound-up from the last outburst when the next one hits, with the result that you will be forever tense, and at no point will you ever be able to become truly relaxed in your own home.

Dumb dog owners are gonna defend this and even more crap from a species that contributes nothing to human civilization whatsoever.


Go fuck yourself, retard.


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would unironically love having a job where i would patrol the streets looking for stray dogs to glass.


Use all that edginess and kill your mother who's responsible for bringing you into a world where dogs exist. Kill her.


why would dog barking have a hormone response associated with it? wolves and other things found in nature don't bark. your post reads like pseudoscience designed to support your feelings


Is anyone else afraid that they'll end up in a local newspaper article / website if they commit suicide? There are often such articles on my regional news website, and they always seem to find photos and the name of the guy who did it.


like the dutch wiz (peace be upon him)


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I can't stand this memetic culture we live in. People subconsciously seek what's popular and begin regurgitating same ideas. It's an entire industry now, of pop-everything, that's aimed at creating content custom-tailored to be best consumed and disseminated. What's worse, it affects smaller creators and average people, cranking our already memetic thinking up to fucking eleven, where we communicate using same cliches, same reaction images with same fucking people from whatever series/film is currently popular to support the same popular set of opinions and beliefs until the paradigm changes ever so slightly.
There's this baffling thing, groids perfectly understand this: they do mock certain creators and companies that pay little to no attention to the quality/originality of their content, they do acknowledge problems like this exist and permeate the industry, yet the memetic behaviour never ceases and persists for everything else that hasn't been collectively stigmatized. I have zero idea how the fuck do their brains work.


>I have zero idea how the fuck do their brains work.

You do more than you think. Your post use the very same values and ideas you decry so much. Take the time to figure it out how did you come to think the way you do and you'll realize in fact you know exactly how "their" brain work.


The thing that I dislike in my country is that they normally have an inquest where the coroner gives their opinion on why the individual committed suicide. I often see stories where the coroner concludes they committed suicide because of work stress etc. I used to dislike that thought of someone publishing a theory on my life but right now I understand the people who say "I'll be dead I don't care".

Not OP but there are theories of human/dog parallel evolution as well as ancient co-evolution : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Origin_of_the_domestic_dog#Parallel_evolution. If I remember correctly some of the oldest cave wall drawings depict people hunting with dogs and the argument about co-evolution is not insane. It's cool stuff.



were i live the articles are always sensationalist and very disgraful. They have a pass to make up anything they want about you, your family and the context of your death. Specially social media outlets which are the news sources that seem to get the most exposure nowadays. Latin American social communicators have no shame at all, they get constantly called out by grieving families who are slandered brutally but there´s not much anyone can do if it happens to you. If you commit suicide and it becomes public they can say you were a "schizofrenic who went on a satanic sexual rampage!" to get those clickbait ad money and thats that.


Told my mother that I was going to see a therapist. She was taken pretty aback and asked why so I just said "to be more functional". She said "for depression?" and I just repeated to be more functional, she then talked about how I was a hermit. She kind of thought for a second and said "yeah you should probably go see someone". I'm afraid of her finding out I'm suicidal & depressed because I know it will introduce awful dynamics in to the house, but, it is hard having people think you're choosing your dysfunctional actions as some sort of choice too. I've already been trying for a decade and got nowhere so there's no easy fix. Dragging people along for the ride is a bad thing when you have a dysfunctional family because they can't help you and it just adds to the emotional dysfunction.


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I might feel depressed, anxious, demotivated sometimes, but I rarely feel bored as long as I have internet. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed because there's just so many things to do.


all I do all day every day is listening to music, eating, browsing imageboards and watching loli asmr
god please just end my existence


Waste of time and effort.

Hey if you enjoy it then what is the problem?

This, I can't understand people who get bored of the NEET/hermit life.


I don't enjoy it. I'm bored of it, but I'm bored of everything. I understand what Schopenhauer meant that music was the only escape. You can stare blankly at the wall and music makes the whole experience a 100% better than just staring at it otherwise. It's still boring, but at least bearable.
Sometimes however I get a surge of motivation and I manage to binge-watch an anime. Still can't quite get back to start playing games again unfortunately.
I want to go on walks, but I'm afraid of my breeders asking me questions and interacting with me, so I just stay in my room. I wish I was less of a pussy.


>Waste of time and effort.
I will post to this thread my progress although it's not for a couple of weeks. I understand a lot of the issues people have with therapists but I'm going in with a very clear description of the things I've tried and how they didn't seem to work. I have no desire to get in to existential debate with him and think I can describe my experiences well. I don't get angry and I'm very patient so I hope I can hold my own. We will see how it goes.


Study, create. Use the internet to expand your knowledge. The benefits come naturally at you.


I have no motivation to entertain myself because it bores me and you expect me to study and create? I barely have the will to get off my bed to take a piss when my bladder is near explosion


Me and this reality do not get along well. The outside world makes me feel unsafe. I just want to stay inside and be alone.


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I love the idea of dedicating all my time to one craft and getting really good at it. But at the same time the world is full of so many interesting things that focusing on just one thing seems impossible to me. Like suddenly I got the desire to read up on the life of sailors in the 18th century. Or medieval life in general. Also I feel like playing some obscure retro games. And maybe learn Japanese so I can play all the old untranslated games and browse their imageboard. Also maybe I could get into Star Trek since it's on Netflix. I have so many desires that all these things get stuck in the funnel and I end up doing nothing at all instead.

How do people manage to focus on one thing for a prolonged time? Once I start reading up on one thing I am already interested in another one.

And you can only get good at a few select things and not all at the same time. And it's frustrating. Like if I'm playing a multiplayer video game I will naturally lose to the experienced players. Losing is no fun but do I really want to dedicate a lot of time just to get good at that game?


Dedicate some days to specific activities and some other days to another different activity. Like, dedicate your Mondays to studying Japanese and your Tuesdays to reading books or something like that.


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>Sick of shit life and family
>Thinking about moving to another country
>Canada is close by, look up requirements
>Unless you're a muslim from a war torn country, wealthy, or have experience working at some place like SpaceX it's practically impossible

Guess it makes sense they wouldn't want some no skill college dropout from clapistan who can only do unskilled labor that their citizens can already do. No money, no connections, neck-deep in debt, and I spend my days working a shit job for shit pay. Wish I was dead or in another world.


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Wow, weird. I was literally just watching Star Trek, took a quick break to browse Wizchan, and read your post first. I also feel very similarly to you on this topic in general. I jump around like crazy and never develop skill in anything.

I don’t know how to help you, but Star Trek is definitely worth watching. Start with the original series. As you mentioned, it’s on Netflix. First episode (“The Cage”) is an unaired pilot, quite different from the actual show and not necessary to watch. But you can do as you please.

Boldly go where no wiz has gone before!


I didn't wish to be depressed, I didn't do anything that would lead me into this state; it's not my fault, someone else is to blame, yet I can't find the culprit.



That's not too bad. You can do all of that within your lifetime. The fact that we have so many years in our lives allows us to dedicate that time to something.

It could take you like, a few years to finish Star Trek, and a few more years (5-7) to learn Japanese properly. Retro games can be done within a month at a time and be done simultaneously. Reading books can be done similarly as well.


I can't remember why do I live. Probably, because I'm afraid of pain. Dying is painful. Every day I "choose" life, aka slow death

How come I don't get there'll be pain anyway, no matter what my "choice" is


Yes, your idea is so unique that I haven't seen in any of the hippie websites


I'm getting shit done. Slowly but I'm doing something.


>I'm bored of everything
Don't do anything for a couple of days. You will get so bored that you will be grateful for even the most horrible piece of trash entertainment.

Why not try conquering the world and change it by force?

Look into the mirror.


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I don't know why I keep forcing myself to exercise. In my very close to literal Oldboy-like existence, it just seemed like a novel way to pass the time which, unlike Oldboy, was all there was to it for me. No goal, nothing to really motivate it all. Just an ephemeral whim. It's been little over a year now and I really should just give it a rest. Even through all this, self-improvement was the last thing on my mind. It's such an utterly useless gesture for someone like me, who never goes anywhere, never sees anyone (aside from my parents, given that I live with them), and never does anything else beyond sitting squarely on my ass, or sleeping. I've also never experienced that whole "endorphin rush" one is supposed to receive when exercising, but, even outside of that, it hasn't exactly improved my mood very much. Indeed, it honestly hasn't had any affect on it whatsoever, in even the tiniest degree. As a hermit, I've found there have only been three benefits I've gotten from regular exercise. Firstly, I don't tend to pull my muscles anymore (such as when reaching for something, or just randomly stretching). Secondly, my ass/legs don't hurt nearly as much when sitting for too long. And finally, just gaining noticeable definition in my arms/legs/abdominal area has been a nice, albeit pointless, vanity boost. The only two things pushing me forward are habit & the desperation for something to do. Since, even if I choose not to exercise, then what? Stare at the ceiling in my little self-made prison, essentially. It's all so damn useless and I'm sick of it. Just another worthless, vacant vessel with no passions, no desire to learn, no creativity, and nothing to cling to, but for the, hopefully swift, arrival of my own death. At least, in the meantime, I have my little room to rot away in, as I've already done so for the last 13 years. Suffering my own miasmic, useless presence all the while. If 13 years like this have taught me anything, it's that, instead of learning or indulging in the arts, science or philosophy and making full use of all this god damn time on my hands, I can do, and have done, nothing, but hate/punish myself in all manner of ways, passively consuming copious amounts of modern media only to inevitably fall prey to anhedonia destroying its once essential tranquilizing effects to my addled mind, while futilely ruing my own pathetic existence 24/7. I was born simply to suffer. As are we all, naturally. Ideal circumstances be damned. What a regrettable shit heap both me, this website, and the universe at large, altogether is. It wears what little left of me there is to wear out more than words could say.


Exercise also improves your brain. There's been studies that show it improves your memory functions. So you should keep at it.


Sometimes I forget how ugly I am but then I see my reflection on my phone..


I used tp be fat and ugly. Then I started excercising and losing weight. Now I'm just ugly.


I get worked up about the existential stuff and seeing how everything is degenerating. I've been reminding myself that we're just in one cycle and we can only conceive of a limited time frame, this abstract sense of world suffering is the entire timeline of the world. There will be other cycles, other conscious species, other civilizations. It is only worth focusing on the personal dread and not the abstract existential dread. We're only one cycle.


Good luck, anon.


Why do you sound so sure?


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It pains me immensely, to the point of feeling slight nausea, to look through posts I left on various message boards I used to post on prior to succumbing to depression and in my youth. I seemed so vivacious, so interested in topics I posted about, I was willing to get into arguments; my texts from that time seem so articulate, eloquent, even.
Where did all of that go? How come past me feels so distant from current me?


It's quite comforting to reach a point where you no longer care about acquiring attention, company, fame, praise etc. On the downside thinking this way tends to sap you of any energy and ambition that could otherwise have contributed to a career or a successful piece of art etc. But I feel calm in my indifference.


You realized it's futile to engage in elaborate discussion and that it doesn't change anything. Reality stays the same not matter how much you try to rationalize it in a certain way or what you do. You cannot escape your experience of the present moment.


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>There's been studies that show it improves your memory functions.

Perhaps for most, but, personally, I haven't found that to be the case. My cognitive faculties are just as degraded & rotten as they've always been, while becoming ever more degenerated as time goes on. The way I live, and have lived for the past 13 years, here in my stuffy Oldboy room, has pretty much destroyed my already weak sense of memory to a rather startling degree. So much so, that if someone were to tell me something important, odds are I'd probably forget about it like an hour later, if not sooner. I also have many senior moments to the point where I'll be thinking about doing something (like searching a random topic up through Google), but then just as I'm about to do it, I completely forget what it was and it just won't comes back to me, until much later, assuming it ever does at all. If it weren't for the various lists I keep of the odd game I finish or film I watch, along with my parent's presence, then I honestly wouldn't have the slightest bit of continuity in my life, adrift in a formless haze with no sense of time or place in anything. I've also been pretty bad lately at remembering specific things lately (like recalling the name of a random film/game, or just a some other miscellaneous bit of info), which can be pretty annoying. Exercise just can't penetrate this kind of isolation. The damaging effects from it far outweigh any minor benefits exercise might bring.

>So you should keep at it.

I'm trying, but I'm wavering pretty hard. The profound uselessness of it is wearing me down and there's just no justifiable reason to continue, beyond the minor inconveniences allowing my body to atrophy again will bring. I've been doing it for so long now and for what? Am I going to keep doing it for the rest of my life? How utterly ridiculous. Whether I exercise or not, I'll still be stupid, forgetful, and lacking of energy. I also, as an aside, have a really good diet I started a couple years ago, which, fortunately, I have no intention of ever changing, but, outside of allowing me to lose weight & keep it off, it also hasn't made much of a difference to my dour mood or rotten mental capabilities. It really is all useless. Exercise, at this point, is an utter Sisyphean absurdity to me. A lot of effort expended towards nothing & nowhere.


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Just got back from the hospital.
Doctor prescribed me Fluoxetine for depression. Haven't bought it yet. I hope it works.


Have you tried ADs?


>You realized it's futile to engage in elaborate discussion and that it doesn't change anything. You cannot escape your experience of the present moment.

The present moment is forever fluid. What are you even trying to communicate?


>Where did all of that go? How come past me feels so distant from current me?
Oh, you really have no fucking clue?


mom bit my index finger it hurt!!!!!!!


Do you always follow up rhetorical questions with answers or additional questions like this one?
This may or may not be a rhetorical question.




I don't know what that means, but I've either already tried it, or it wouldn't make a difference even if I did, so, whichever the case, it doesn't really matter.


I guess he meant antidepressants.



Oh, I see. Well, in that case, I took some medication for a brief time as a kid for anxiety, but never any anti-depressants. I had a passing thought to acquire some of the traditional pharmaceutical variety a number of years ago, but I'm too afraid to leave my room, too afraid of the potential side-effects, and far too tired to deal with any of it. Besides, anti-depressants aren't gonna change what life fundamentally is at its core (an impassable dead end filled with inevitable suffering, futility & boredom), nor will it address anything of substance beyond how I "feel" about things, assuming it could even do that. Anyway, whatever. I guess, I'm just hopeless. What else is new.


I feel pangs of sadness and anxiety
When I think about overpopulation
When I think about poverty
When I speak
When I glance at someone
When I am around someone
When I feel compelled or forced
When I flee away from the bustle and still run into people in nature
When I hear someone's voice
When the world seems colorless and cold
When I spot an alien face
When I spot a familiar face

I feel depressed and scared when I look into the mirror and realize I am just another human - part of a species I never asked to join.

I just want to retreat into my shell of isolation and let the world pass me by, because I've long since lost interest in the drama of humanity. The drama of my life.


I really wished i could express myself or manage to exercise my thoughts sadly i'm too dumb to do that. i think i may have some communication disabilit. it's really hard to find the right words to say what i want i just end up replying buzzwords. i hate being dumb. i don't know how say things that aren't shallow or just dumb short sentences. i feel like my brain maybe degrading but i don't know. i don't know anything. i guess i'm really am dumb i wish i wasn't.


>I've long since lost interest in the drama of humanity. The drama of my life.
The first part of your post suggests otherwise.


Humanity is a catalyst for drama and I am expressing my depression and distaste for it.


My neck, not again.
It's like I haven't completely popped it, and the remains of salt and whatever the fuck accumulates in-between the vertebrae is now pressing against my blood vessels or something. I swear to God vision of my left eye was blurred with a white spot just now and as I'm typing this I'm making dumb as fuck grammar mistakes like writing eye as "I" and now as "know". If I had suffered a mini-stroke of some sort I'd rather fucking die.
End this fucking misery.



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I want to make art, bring my ideas to life and make it all look good. Too bad I don't have talent, my motor skills are shit, my vision is shit, I've never been interested in observing or interacting with the outside world which is essential to learn any art and craft, my brain actively impedes my endeavours and to top it all off I have zero patience for art and myself.
I fucking hate this.


I hurt myself today (I go through negative thought spirals everyday)
To see if I still feel (To see if I still exist)
I focus on the pain (I am lost in my suffering)
The only thing that's real (the only thing that's consciously accessible)
The needle tears a hole (The needle tears an abyss)
The old familiar sting (The constant familiar chasm)
Try to kill it all away (Try to make sense of the past)
But I remember everything (But I remember nothing)

What have I become (What have I degraded into)
My sweetest friend (My feared stranger)
Everyone I know goes away (There’s nobody I have ever known)
In the end (From the very beginning)
And you could have it all (And you could never have had anything)
My empire of dirt (Nothing but my empire of void)
I will let you down (I will make you loathe)
I will make you hurt (I will make you tortured)

I wear this crown of thorns (I wear this old hat of futility)
Upon my liar's chair (Upon my homeless' blanket)
Full of broken thoughts (Devoured by fragmented sense of time)
I cannot repair (I cannot remember)
Beneath the stains of time (Beneath the experience of anguish)
The feelings disappear (Other feelings have never appeared)
You are someone else (You are someone I never could have known)
I am still right here (I repeat to fully depersonalize)

What have I become (What have I never started to begin)
My sweetest friend (My unknown fantasized Other)
Everyone I know goes away (There’s nobody I have ever known)
In the end (From the beginning)
And you could have it all (And you could never have had anything)
My empire of dirt (Just ugliness of emptiness)
I will let you down (I will never know you)
I will make you hurt (I can't even receive your contempt)

If I could start again (If I could have started once)
A million miles away (In another universe)
I would keep myself (I might have had a chance)
I would find a way (I might have had a memory)


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I am more than double as old as you indicate. If you don't know depersolization then shut up.


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Some people just don't care about smelling like dog, having animal fur on their clothes, spending money to feed another animal. Some just don't mind being dirty. Most of succubi actually use them to cope with "loneliness".
Edgy. Just because your cave is made of bricks or wood doesn't mean you're any different from the rest. I think you should find a better hobby than hating on things which don't affect you.




why is wizchan doghurt? every single day tbh


>Some people just don't care about smelling like dog, having animal fur on their clothes, spending money to feed another animal. Some just don't mind being dirty. Most of succubi actually use them to cope with "loneliness".

yeah I know some people like being nasty pieces of shit and act like stupid retards and will defend their nasty habits and stupid behavior and beliefs. It's no news to me. People will go to great lengths to avoid the truth and not feel bad for being pieces of shit. Some people don't mind being murderers, thieves, rapists, terrorists, liars, serial killers, etc. But that's okay according to your low iq reasoning.
>"It doesn't affect you"
Didn't you just reply to my post? Do you enjoy living in a place that smells like dog? Are you fuckin nuts? Would you like to be disrupted from your sleep by the barking of a dog? Seeing on a daily basis the treatment humans give to dogs makes me think I'm surrounded by stupid people who aren't capable of reasoning.
>Just because your cave is made of bricks or wood doesn't mean you're any different from the rest

Thing is, we are different from dogs you nitwit and you are giving me the reason when you say that dog owners are irresponsible unhygienic mentally ill persons. Vaccination is periodically done for those animals to even be able to have them in your human house. Nature is telling you to not fuckin live with those diseased animals but brainwashed people don't fucking see that thanks to the pet industry.
Also what kind of a stupid person you have to be to consider a stupid dog your friend or treat him like a part of your family as if it were a fucking human.
Truth is, the world needs a purge and we should start with the dog lovers.


P.S. Video shows "man's best friends" sharing their love with a passerby.


that's called gore


When I die, I want my death to be spectacular, out in the open and either gruesome and slow or fast and causing the remains of my body to splatter on the spectators, with as many people watching as possible. I won't even try to maintain dignity, I'll for sure thrash around, scream and leave a mess regardless of the way I die, but I want people to see, I want my death to be etched into their memory and haunt even complete strangers.


>Tl;dr I want attention, people ignores me for far too long


Maybe you should walk into traffic, leave this stupid person world.


>I want people to see, I want my death to be etched into their memory
I will never understand attention whores.


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dropped out college a few years ago because no money and being low iq, i've been taking shitty jobs for low pay and giving the peanuts i get to my parents in hopes they don't kick me out. Had hopes to save up and move out but that's never going to fucking happen in today's world.

thinking of just getting in my car during the middle of the night and veering off a bridge so I can end this shit already


i'm tired and bored to tears.


>prior to succumbing to depression
>Not attempting suicide at a single-digit age


Why not just the military? You'd be better off there.


Not that guy but military is probably the worst place for wizards to be at after prison.


Agreed, joining the military is the ultimate cuck move, you're literally becoming a cuck for the state. You'd be better off sucking dicks at a truck stop and retain a tiny amount of dignity.


Dignity is a mortal concept and doesn't exist after death which is the ultimate equalizer. Might as well cuck out for having fun in the military blowing and shooting stuff and if you end up getting killed in the line of duty it will be a bonus.


>Joining the military
>having fun
>choose one

Life isn't a video game, and joining the military isn't playing call of dookie. The military, apart from the inherent cuckoldry involved by total bootlicking subservience to the state, is the definition of hell for a wizard. Total loss of all privacy, total loss of free time, eating shit food, constantly being bullied by sergeant chad, taking gay naked showers with other chads…the only people who should join the military are masochistic homosexuals who enjoy being dominated and humiliated.

Seriously, if you're a military recruiter, stop wasting your time here. Go to a PUA site or a Jordan Breederson forum, they actually might be dumb enough to believe in your bullshit.


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Similarity is odd…


Does it really matter if the military is shit or not aligned to what you believe in? There's a high chance to kill and be killed. It should be enough if not the best option. Why? Simply because experiences like that are strong enough to either change your outlook on life or simply sate you with a long awaited death since nothing else will if not that. The country you will fight for or the people will die as well and be forgotten someday too so it's not like you're really losing some sort of moral high ground.


I cringe any time I read something I wrote when I was in my teens. I wonder whether I'll be cringing similarly at my current posts once I'm in my thirties.


First of all, only a tiny percentage will ever see the front lines. Also, the chances of being maimed and living the rest of your life painfully crippled is much higher than dying. Second, if death and glory is your thing, you are much, much better off being some kind of lone wolf terrorist where you get to pick your own targets and the chances of getting gunned down are close to 100% as long as you refuse to surrender. Both choices suck but I think the military option is slightly worse.


>First of all, only a tiny percentage will ever see the front lines
That all depends on a lot of factors.

>Also, the chances of being maimed and living the rest of your life painfully crippled is much higher than dying

You can end up doing the same by borking up a shotgun mouthwash

> Second, if death and glory is your thing, you are much, much better off being some kind of lone wolf terrorist where you get to pick your own targets and the chances of getting gunned down are close to 100% as long as you refuse to surrender.

Glory doesn't follow anyone after they die. The idea here is to give up along with your humanity and comforts in order to regain them by taking other's who were foolish enough not to do it or die trying. Eitherway it's a win-win. Whoever you end up killing was going to die someday anyway. Whoever you fight for as well. What you'd believe in or others doesn't matter in the slightest because it will be gone like all things before it. Everything is like a river with a current. The question is would you want to be swept by the current and proceed to oblivion or try to take control of your life you have right now? Acts such as suicide bombing or lone wolf shootings are a fool's way out because they can fail, not kill the attacker quick enough, and require the people doing it jumped trough more hoops to be able to instead of just hanging themselves quick and be done with it. The result wouldn't be any different and nothing will follow them unless they were brainwashed fanatics.


I don't get it.


I just want to be a good person living the simplest life. Depression shreds pure intentions like everything else.


>Scratched parents' car again, don't even know fucking when
Imagine being the first person in 10 years to put numerous scrateches and tiny dents on the car just because you're a dumbo.


I know it feels whiney but I cannot understand why the world has been so hostile to me. At every stage in my life I have been ignored, forgotten, or had open hostility towards me. From the age of 5 I have memories of people just ignoring me when I spoke or standing on the edge of groups trying to say something. It continued through my whole school life and general life, I was just ignored or pushed away. Teachers never cared that I existed, other students didn't. It continued on through university and in to work, nobody ever talked to me or really tried to engage with me socially. And whenever I tried I felt a hostility, aggressiveness, and the desire for me to leave them alone. I actually made a friend 16 years ago from trying but we aren't close. We live 10 minutes apart and I speak to him once every 18 months or so.

I understand how crabs focus on what they look like as a reason because I've had people call me ugly for no reason but then you see most of the crabs are average looking normans obsessed with getting succubi they "deserve" and other norman identity stuff. There are all kinds of possible explanations but nobody cared to tell me. Is it because I am ugly, just delayed social skills, is it because I have autism nobody cared to tell me, because I was poor, because I was unhappy, is it mental illness so i cant relate to others, do I have some issue with flat effect like a schizo? Nobody even bothered to tell me what was wrong with me.

I'm not saying this because I want some specific social relationship now but because whenever I see media about people with mental illness they have support around them, they have people around them. They are much more like real people than I am. Some of the diagnosis criteria for mental illnesses specifically say that other people should have recognized and mentioned the symptoms, and not to rely on self-report; well nobody has ever said anything to me apart from insults or criticism that didn't identity anything specific. We're surrounded by this culture that talks and talks about being alone in the world and relying on yourself but they really don't seem to experience this. It just puts it in focus how hard it is going to be getting better, and how integrating in to society is just a tedious hurdle of hostility.

It just leaves me unable to understand and feeling alienated because everywhere you look for information to get better you can't relate to, they're in different worlds and you're a ghost.


You're right about everything, and you're not alone in this.


I almost hit a pedestrian today. Fuck driving. Kaczynski is right about how technology doesn't let people to live without. Places of employment, schools, stores or wherever you have business with are built within driving distances from each other making someone who chooses not to drive to be severely disadvantaged in society. There's always public transportation sure. If your city has good public transport then good for you but many are shit and unreliable.


Saw Kaczynski and drive and mistakenly thought about this song.


There was this one eloquent wizard talking about psychology. He made a very important note that I just now realized holds some very deep truth to it. I can't put in a nice text and flow of argumentation like he did but the point he made basically came down to the following conclusion:
That what really stops depressed people from doing things or not enjoying things and say NO to life every day and in every aspect of life is not the thing or activity itself but inner conflict. That means a mental divergence from 1) personal conscious or unconscious beliefs and assumptions about yourself, the world and other people and 2) that which really happens and what we objectively experience without this subjective filter of negativity.

Firstly this means that we don’t really do and perceive things because we affirm them but because we think we SHOULD do and perceive them in a certain way but this way of how we SHOULD see them is not how we really see them so we end up not liking them. Unconscious assumptions structure your connection to the activity or thing and these assumptions can be very destructive and negative. That’s why it is so hard for example to do things like going for a walk, reading a book, work on your hobbies, etc. whatever it is you want to do because that’s not really the thing you want to do. There is an inner conflict because of your unconscious assumptions which tell you that you can’t enjoy the thing for whatever reasons. Everyone can enjoy reading a book or going for a walk but depressed people can’t because they have distorted expectations about what they are doing. So first you have to reveal these unconscious assumptions which stop you from liking things.

Secondly this means that in order to overcome inner conflict it’s necessary to become independent of your socialized values and norms as well as cognitive and emotional structures which you think are your very being but which in fact are exchangeable. To do that you have to disclose these values and structures. Then you have to get rid of socialized norms which were forced on you through your parents, school experiences, childhood and adolescence in general. Only after that you can decide which values and norms you want to adapt for yourselves in adulthood, what seems plausible and positive for your life as long as you don’t want to end it.
I don’t think this makes you more free than others or something like that. This is only necessary for people with inner conflict of action and thinking. For me this was the only way to finally understand adulthood in my late twenties. Adulthood means to be convinced of yourself even though you know it’s shit. Comically others will respect you more when they see that you don’t give a fuck about them. It makes life easier especially when you have to go work and be forced to be around other people.
By the way, to be independent means that you recognize that the other person is independent as well because only then you can see your own ideas and values are not dependent on what other people think and say – they have their own burden but don’t let that be a problem for you when they don’t agree with you for example. For me it always was very hard to form a personal view of the world because I always thought that it would be worth nothing if others don’t affirm this view. That’s why I always agreed with their stuff. Couldn’t have been more wrong.


>Comically others will respect you more when they see that you don’t give a fuck about them.

What I meant precisely with that is not that you act like an asshole towards them because that won't work in a work environment where you are forced to interact but that you show them that you are NOT PERSONALLY DEPENDENT on their affirmation.


I don't enjoy anything anymore. It seems to take an incredible effort to even write stupid imageboard posts, much less go outside or talk to someone. I'm filled with a feeling like fog filling my brain, leaving me unable to think or act clearly. Each day I idly click back and forth between the same 5 websites over and over, looking at each of them for the few short seconds of attention span I have left. I think about suicide more and more, but I would rather just drop dead than put in the effort.


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I get it, BMTH: I can't go back to High School, and even if I could, I'd just be miserable for the same reasons anyway.


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Guys… Have you tried just not thinking about being depressed?


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…you're not even worth the sarcasm.


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Unless you live in awful conditions where your most basic needs are neglected or suffer from a genuine chemical imbalance, which is rare, depression you suffer from is based entirely on your own perception of reality and situation you find yourself in and is therefore easily fixed.
Admittedly, this is one of the things groids get right, but depressed people won't.


it's like not thinking about your missing limb.


Some would say having a girlffriend is a basic need, and it's not easy to fix


Crabs are rightfully regarded as some of the most pathetic and unstable people for a reason, you know? To rephrase "personal succubus as a basic need," it's going to be "sex as a basic need"; if they don't have the wits to rub one out, it's their fault they feel depressed.


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While I agree with you, I don't think it's automatically easily fixed because our perceptions aren't in our immediate control but are the result of complex psychological interactions of meaning, most of which are out of awareness. How we consciously think about things is only part of the equation, often we have instinctual beliefs that "feel" true for some reason or a compulsion towards a particular point of view and we have no idea why. We are strangers to ourselves and it is not always so easy to disentangle oneself from the web of complex meaning that is causing one's current emotional reality.

Sexual release might be a basic need but that's easily solved by masturbation. The crab's anguish however isn't simply caused by being horny. I'd say the bulk of their suffering is caused by how they see the opposite gender and sex in general. This is a generation of men raised on the shittiest part of the Internet where the most common insult was being a virgin, a male with low sexual market value etc. These men are dealing with an inferiority complex of the highest order and they ultimately see the feminine as a form of salvation. If only a cute attractive succ would see their worth, their failure as a man would be cleared and their existence validated. The problem is entirely based in their perception of the world.

I'd tell anyone suffering from this to simply investigate what they are truly wishing for in a succubus, behind all the sex and validation perhaps lies an ultimate kind of psychological security, one which no succubus can really satisfy. It isn't enough to simply get disillusioned with succubi, as you can often rationalize to yourself that your imaginary archetype of the perfect feminine exists somewhere. The fact of the matter is that crabs have a deep need for this fantasy, so they will reject reality, rationalize it, put very average and perhaps detestable succubi on a pedestal to satisfy it. The trick is entirely in seeing through the desire, understanding that it's not about the succubus at all, but a deeper kind of need that you think you can satisfy through the instrumental of human relationships.


You’ve got a missing limb? I’m sorry to hear that. Although, if it’s already missing, why waste time and energy thinking about it? What good could that possibly accomplish?

Why post this on Wizchan of all places? You must be either a dimwit or a troll. Either way, come on now. No wonder you haven’t found a succubus.


>generation of men raised on the shittiest part of the Internet
they were raised on TV


I'm talking about 4chan and imageboards in general. As shitty as TV can get, it really cannot be compared to what 4chan has done in terms of influencing an entire generation of men. People joke about imageboards ruining them, but it's not the gore and pornography that gets you, it's these subtle infectious ideas that you slowly assimilate into yourself as you encounter them repeated in various engaging forms. Even if you actively reject these ideas, the time you spend there leaves a mark on your psyche and you get conditioned in certain ways. Remember that feel when no gf? How easy was it to project any dysphoria you've had to the simple consequence of lacking a sexual partner, especially at the time of puberty when sex is the most salient thing in your mind? It isn't then hard to imagine how a person that grew up in such an ideological environment could see the feminine and sexuality as anything but salvation, ultimate security, the highest good and what not.

Perhaps I am merely projecting my own experience. Having started browsing chans at 14, I've lately been wondering how much 4chan had an influence on me, considering I felt closer to it than any other "peer group". I was quite literally raised by the Internet, and before that, television.


My expectations were really low, but normgroids on reddit managed to be even dumber than I thought. Empty platitudes, shitty pop-culture references and pseudo-philosophical bullshit. I could go in-depth why every single """reason""" they provided is worthless but I'd rather not.
I rue the day depression became mainstream. It changed nothing for people with actual chemical imbalance, they're still shunned and being told to suck it up, while crafty sociopaths pretending to have "muh depression" are the ones getting sympathy. Let's be serious, nobody diagnosed with chronic depression will get magically cured because they won't get to see season 4 of some seasonal shit or an arbitrary meme date


Would you say that 4chan was instrumental in founding the crab movement or identity as it exists today?


I would have to be either drugged up to shit or lobotomized to stop realizing what a fucking hellscape this reality is.
>inb4 stoic or buddhist drivel about "just meditate bro"


So…stop browsing those same websites over and over? With depression, you have to force yourself to do things. Sad but no other way. Try out new things. Listen to new music, watch new movies, read new books, etc.

Reality is going to suck whether you enjoy yourself or feel depressed. So why be depressed? Spend your time on escapism instead.


Try to defend free will other than "Science still don't understand it bro" or "I move my hand when I want to move it so that's free will." .


Did you decide to post this or not? Seriously, 'no-free-will!!4' idiots have always been such a cancer.


You've just proven my point.


I'd say it's the epicenter of the whole thing. People that aren't familiar with chans and Internet culture in general find crabs completely bizarre, precisely because the crab dilemma is really a faux problem to begin with. There's the popular phrase of "falling for the meme" which I think is highly appropriate here. crabs are infected with an ideological disease, born organically out of the concoction of memetic ideas festering in the mind and bringing unintended consequences. It's like a group of people hypnotizing themselves and forgetting about it. The ideas you consume ultimately end up defining your reality and it's very hard to snap out of their possession even when you are aware of it.


Well, good fucking luck none of us here are crabs.


you are speaking so much truth, wish i could write as elegantly as you my friend. that horrible site and others have caused me so much pain, especially during my teenage years


>that horrible site and others have caused me so much pain, especially during my teenage years

Me too. The only chan I browse is wizchan now. 4chan and 8chan should be shut down, they embody everything that is wrong with this world and society.


Lmao, how?


It's not even well written
Instead you shouldn't be going to such places. You should be shutdown for your own sake. People like you for the most part.


Found the 8chan tourist.


Predetermined to be stupid


If I could change my perception at will I would, but I can't do that without resorting to extreme methods that aren't even guaranteed to work.


My father keeps trying to ask for money again. Told him no and he silently stormed out when I refused to outright give him my debit card with all my money on it again for ""some tylenol"". He routinely chews through half of what's left of my paycheck after I pay half of rent. Sick of it. Usually when I give it to him he spends $40 in one night at the local grocer despite coming through the door with only $8 chicken strips to be shared between several people. I can only imagine the rest of it goes to cigarettes and tylenol/tums as my mother is dependent on them to function.

That won't be happening anymore, they're going to have to learn to budget like everyone else. I foresee lots of guilt tripping, manipulation and betrayal from them in my future like the last times I refused but this time it's permanent, my job contract ends in a few months and it's far past time to weave a safety net. I should have around $3000 barring potential emergencies by then. Good luck without your free meal ticket you stupid fucking faggots


Maybe he's buying drugs?


>i found at a very terrible time in my life and i wasnt around people my own age so it led me to believe a lot of false and negative things
>i wasnt around people my own age
>very terrible time in my life


I heard a story about many different identical twins separated at birth and raised in radically different circumstances turning out the same, and that made me think how little our "choices" mean anything. You think if things had only been different, if only this didn't happen or if you had this gf, then everything would be different…but if you met your twin that had all those things…he'd still be the same you, with the same ducked up brain. It's kind of fatalistic but there was no escaping who you were going to become. Unless you were meant to suddenly change, but has less to do with circumstance and more with dna.


Depersonalization really sucks in a lot of ways. But maybe it is better in some ways also.


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I wish I had the balls to go bald. It feels so bad having to go out and pay for a haircut.


Just go buy a set of clippers and give yourself a buzz cut. I can't even remember the last time I paid to get my hair cut.


I remember panicking badly when my hair started thinning…now I just buzz my head to stubble every few days and I'm good to go. No barbers, no combing your hair in the morning, up and go a bunch of energy drinks every month from the money I save from haircuts.


I'm afraid it will be all uneven if I try to do it myself.


I feel like a pariah. Sinister and corrupt.


The trimmer does a nice job at keeping an even length all around. All you have to worry about is cleaning up the sideburns and around your ears. I use a number 5 attachment for everything and then I take it off to clean up the sideburns and ears.


The trimmer I have for my beard requires multiple passes until everything is even. Don't really trust it with my hair. Afraid I will look like the "just fuck my shit up" meme.


Of course nothing will work if you don't even try!


Do you have any regrets? If not then it doesn't matter.


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Severe depression makes you realize that you're part of the problem. No matter how much you focus on the the world and hope you could help fix it, if your body can't manifest positive emotion or positive drives you can only watch the world crumble. And knowing that changes nothing. I am part of the problem with the world because of my inability to act towards goodness, instead I am a suffering beast. Suffering does not make good people it makes beast that crave escape. I am not part of any solution and I should be washed away with the rest. It's easy to forget that and get lost, I am not part of the world I am part of the decay and death. I have to know what I am before I can act or else I get lost trying to play someone else's role. This body can only sustain the quiet, closed off, incompetent, small minded, suffering being - I can see the properties others have but I cannot share them.


>So why be depressed?
Wrong question.


Making choices and exercising my own will is so immensely hard for me I'd rather die than choose whether to go home or shopping to save time and commute money this weekend after a long day of work.
I guess I should play one of those card choice games or something, if that even helps.


I spent a few days on my parents cottage, and during that time I was somewhat OK. Anxious, but more relaxed then in the city.
I got home last night and already I'm exhausted, stressed about consuming, hungry, thirsty, at edge. It was a bizarre experience to return to the default and unhappy state I usually am.


I can already see my future. I'll get a shitty white collar job with shit pay. I'll get humiliated by my superiors and deal with petty office politics everyday. Meanwhile my own incompetence prevent me from advancing my career or even finding satisfaction in my work. Most of my paycheck will go into bills with little disposable income to spare. Hell, I'll probably have to do overtime or do some side job so I can have a little financial safety net. Weekends are spent either working or doing chores with the small amount of free time left no spent on anything that could ease my exhaustion or give me fulfillment. One or two weeks of holiday each year where I can get a taste of freedom to haunt the back of my mind when I have to get back to work. I won't get rich. I won't achieve great things. I won't have a secure, stable situation where I can devote ample leisure time into my interests. And that is all assuming that I can even become functional enough to work, if I can't my life will be even worse.


Pretty sure trying to think differently and stop negative thoughts sent me crazy. It disconnected me from my actual emotions as of they were judgements. now I have to search around my head to find my emotions and moods. Trying to use positive language doesn't move my body, I just have to search to describe my wants and things. It's so tedious.


What do you guys think about "mental health" being in the news so often these days?

Every day in my country (UK) there is an article in the mainstream news about anxiety, depression, etc.


declining values which lead to shit choices trapping people in a cycle of regret


I don't care. I don't watch the news and honestly I think it's a waste of time. Most of the time they only talk about things that won't affect my life so I basically ignore the news.


Depression is a choice regardless of how much you try to shift the blame on your circumstances.

You are plagued by slave morality, friend. Why should you act towards 'goodness'? Why should you fix the world? The world exists to be dominated and abused. This thing we call reality is cruel mistress so you have to treat her accordingly.


>Depression is a choice regardless of how much you try to shift the blame on your circumstances.

That's not true. I tried all "natural" methods to get out of depression. Till I went to a doctor where he said I was depressed and started taking medication. I'm better now thanks to the medication I'm taking.

>You are plagued by slave morality, friend. Why should you act towards 'goodness'? Why should you fix the world? The world exists to be dominated and abused. This thing we call reality is cruel mistress so you have to treat her accordingly.

This is absolutely true.


Normies are evil and fake.

When you re alone face to face with one normie he will most likely act normal, not be rude neither aggresive towards you.

But when that particular normie will be in group of people he will start acting like some animal fighting for domination. He will act stupid, say stupid things and sometimes even be aggresive, nasty.

I hate them. I was always an outcast and I will ever be. I wish I could get neetbux and never get close to normies anymore.

But thats not possible.

If you re different from normies and you are in some place that requires socialization, then you re fucked


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Christ, I'm wasting so much money on shit I didn't plan buying. Fucking car tires, fucking washing machine, shit just breaks fucking down constantly. My savings won't nearly last me as long as I hope they would.
I'll have to do this whole CV/applying clown dance and fucking take a nosedive out of my comfort zone again. God lend me strength to kill myself, I can't do this anymore.


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MOST people are stupid. We just can't help it.


I want to be young again, I want to be 16 year old man.

My life always was shitty, but at that age at least I had hope that things will be better in the future…


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and experience all this again? No thanks.


I want to turn back time but only with inteligence I have nowadays


I had a long talk with my mom today, it felt good even though I cried a little during it. Was basically just about how my parents had a hard time bringing up my sister and I, they didn't expect sister would be tough and brother would be soft and emotional. It drifted into old age where I was mentioning to my mom that her and my dad's health means a lot to me and I wasn't ok with some of their bad habits, that's where I started to tear up a little, said I didn't want them to think that they're invincible and get alzheimers and cancers and what-not. I said the most traumatizing thing was as a kid where my mom got in a severe car accident that left her in critical condition, I told her I had cried nightly for a long time about that, I said her and my dad are the only people in my life and I don't want to lose them too early. It went on and on until we realized it was half past 10 and she had to get to bed so she could wake up for work tomorrow. I just hope I got something through to her.


Where is that from? Interesting.


Search "Warning signs of mental illness" on google. It's on a psychiatry website.


I am losing my mind. Thoughts race inside my head, spontaneously changing. My mood swings like a pendulum from affirmation and acceptance of life to existential dread and gloom. I can't stay put, my legs are fidgety. I can barely concentrate my eyes on items around me and I end up zoning out. Nothing is new on my YouTube feed, nothing looks good. My body is failing me. Every minor discomfort in my body causes me to experience severe health anxiety. I want to be relieved of this suffering once and for all.


>sad when on nofap
>even sadder after breakin it

this is really weird state of mind I go through


since i was 16 ive been a NEET, always thinking i'll suicide sometime the next year, now almost 10 years later i'm still alive. i kinda regret wasting my life, all that wasted time being stupid, dooming myself from an early age into this self-fulfilling prophecy. at least thats what i tell myself. the isolation was necessary to an extent, i had been mentally ill with severe anxiety since i was 4 and the various coping strategies just manifested into this very dysfunctional personality and behaviors, something that kinda faded as my brain stopped being marinated in stress hormones.

but now what, what exactly does a 26 year old child that spent his teens and twenties on the internet do, how do i rejoin life in a meaningful way?
ironically now i consider suicide again mainly because it would be convenient.


Does anyone actually have videos or youtube people that have serious depression who wizards can relate to? I don't hate succubi but I cannot relate to any of their experiences because they're normally much more integrated in to society even with serious mental illness. I want to consume more positive or supportive media but most of it really makes no sense to me and I need people who describe the world as I experience it. Any podcasts, vloggers, etc? I'm not really interested in general doomer channels, subculture stuff, or motivational channels. Just people struggling and overcoming with a seriousness and focus - probably boring for people who don't share the struggles.


I'm scared and confused. I'm slowly going insane and I need help. But I know there's no one. Even my family can't give a fuck. I must die but something's stopping me from kms. BUt i don't want to live ike this



When one is depressed one probably doesn't have the power or desire to maintain a YouTube channel, you know what I mean?


Yeah I was hoping for people who had medication that worked for them and stuff, people who were recovering but I could still relate to. Positive stories or encouragement that is relevant.


I don't know why more people don't mention their life situation when talking about depression. I imagine it makes a very big difference if you are a 30 year old NEET living with your parents or a family man with a good job, a loving wife and friends.


Whenever I become interested in an activity I never stick with it for too long and that's because what truly interests me is not the process but the end result. I'd rather spend hours dreaming of what I could do with a skill I'm about to learn, the perfect end product of my work, than spend even an hour of my time actually watching tutorials, reading manuals and everything like this.
I fucking hate this, but at the same time I understand that forcing myself would only bring me suffering with no guarantees of the end result being satisfying enough. Fuck this gay existence.


I hate thinking about shite all day. I can’t help it. It’s like somebody scribbling in my brain while I try to keep up with every line. I hate thinking about all the people in the world, all doing their own thing, some amazing. It’s not that I have people, mind you. I’m fairly neutral towards people as a whole, sympathetic even. It just drives me insane to see all these people living their lives. It drives me insane especially to see people living lives full of rich experiences, even if they’re bad ones. My life feels so inane. And yet, I’m on vacation in a beautiful country, beautiful architecture, culture. But I feel nothing. Fuck all. I know it’s beautiful and that, but I feel just the same. I’m scared to kill myself, and I know fantasizing about it is stupid. But I’m not sure what else to do. Do I say fuck it, for real this time, and really try to off myself? Or do I try to distract myself from all this, try to stop thinking about it, like I’ve been doing recently? It always comes back though. Once you’ve felt the fires of hell, you can’t go back.

I’d really appreciate a thoughtful response to this. Thanks for reading.


I don’t know what to say other than I experience the exact same thing. I’m sorry I can’t be of more help.


is kinda funny how first world wizards thinks their life sucks

At least you dont live in a shithole maybe you are wizard but in a good country to live


Belittling other people for having problems that you don't think compare to your own is selfish and small-minded, I would consider it normalfaggish behavior. Don't lash out at your fellow wizzies, consider it a burden on wizards as a whole that we have these problems instead of seeing it as "fortunate first world wizards" and "unfortunate third world wizards"


I experience regular moments of intense awareness and each time am reminded of mistakes I've made in my adult life which will haunt me forever. The writer Fernando Pessoa wrote in one book that his character felt as though he was "always on the verge of waking up", and I feel like that applies to me - most of the time I can drift by and distract myself from past mistakes, and then suddenly late at night or whatever my conscience just makes me very alert and self-conscious and I start to panic and become flushed.


More time, resources, and effort, are spent trying to manipulate and control our thoughts and actions than in ever trying to understand, help, or otherwise bring about happiness, success, or acceptance to us.


Did you come up with that sentence? It sounds like something I’ve read in a book recently.



Yes, and now I regret it after getting in an argument here in another thread.

Should have kept it inside, where it belongs.


Then rot.


been watching clueless gamer, and this Conan O brien guy makes lots of sex jokes, I'm quite surprised.


Don't know, man. I guess i've never had real depression, because every time i feel shitty i eat fastfood with tons of coke, so the sugar rush makes me ok again to live another day.
And if this doesn't work, there's always drugs, if you don't have anxiety traveling to a different country you'll probably manage to meet some dealers, which i would never even try.




thanks for revealing your identity crab


Nah we are not crabs


File: 1564142603278.png (39.69 KB, 1303x284, 1303:284, ardaim_29_virgin.png) ImgOps iqdb

>true wizards exist I tell you I have never spoken to a succubus, besides 2d>3d and I have lots of videogames to play and media to consume to be wasting my time with succubi. Normalfags suck…

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.


Reading these and all other posts, even here…I wonder
is that even normal to have none, zero, absolutely no friends? because I feel like even users of wizchan that ARE wizards also have friends, 1 or 2 here and there.
Literally the only communication I have is my mother.


File: 1564143665570.jpg (35.35 KB, 394x395, 394:395, 191rpk.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>Literally the only communication I have is my mother.

oh so we're invisible now?


communication on the internet is still communication

>is that even normal to have none, zero, absolutely no friends?

If by friends you mean someone you like to communicate with then no, unless you live far away from civilization and humans. Like a remote island for instance or a shed in some forest in Canada

Friendships on the internet exist too and if you have no friends IRL it still counts as having e-friends you either do stuff with or like to talk to.


Yes, actually I meant irl and internet. None.


I haven't had a friend since I was 14. On the internet, I could never make friends either. I told myself that I don't need them, but I keep fantasizing about having friends someday. Every day I have conversations in my head that I think I'll have with a friend in the future.


nothing anyone says will stop me from playing videogames.


What are you trying to prove by posting that image?


That true wizardry is a meme.


How is that images supposed to prove that? How will the screenshot of a guy talking about how he embraced being a normie prove that not desiring about sex voluntarily is impossible?


> not desiring about sex voluntarily is impossible?

That's not all what the true wizardry meme implies.




I think I need to quit my lifestyle, maybe force myself to spend more time, preferably at the start of the day, around nature. I feel I locked myself out and lead myself into mental illness. I don't think I'm gonna last long, friends, it never felt like it's all so final.


Apparently I was banned on hispachan.org…

A place where they submit snuff clips.


How is your life overall?



I'd definitely recommend going for walks into nature. Exercising can make you feel positive also, even if it's superficial and short-lasting.


Wtf I was just watching this video. It's the guy who "wasted his 20s", no? I guess the algorithm is pushing that one today.


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Only thing to laugh at here is the absolute dogshit moderation that leaves things like this and crabs.co links up. We need a new site.

There's nothing in that comment to imply he ever identified as volcel. Failed normalfag fucks around 4chan for a decade and then succumbs to brainwashing telling him to join the rat race or he's worthless. Wow shocking.

I actually liked some of this guy's videos, because he exposed the retarded instagram-perfect "day in the life of a software engineer" videos for being phony shit not reflective of reality and also lambasted all these corporations who try to get people to give up their entire lives to the company with retarded perks (dinner with coworkers, company games, etc., anything to make you stay in the office longer than you need to and make it feel like your home).

But his advice here is only useful to normalfags. Also that comment section is retarded.
"Go explore the earth bro!"


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Sometimes I wonder if this is how the UK sees us:

As overpompous lunatics who are taking something they like(d) and locking it up in a cellar while putting it on the rack in a brilliant yet still medieval manner which we still can't see because our heads are too far up our colons to even tell we're rubbing it in their faces.

Cause if we are, we're sorry.


True wizardry doesn't exist outside of Wizchan.



That place is garbage, even on imageboards we, hispanics, are nothing but a bunch of troglodytes. They think of imageboards as the secret club of edgy people and they are unable to produce anything original (just copies of anglo humor) or worthwile. Hispanic internet comunities tends to be trash.


Eh, podemos ser medio salidos en terminos de como le hechamos las ganas, pero por lo menos estamos dispuestos a admitir que no somos perfectos.

Como soy mitad gringo yo puedo asegurar que aunque Los estadounidenses son igual de buena Honda, desarrollamos un "caparazón" de soberbia que nos hace creer los dueños/policias del mundo (aunque por lo menos la peluca de popo rubia es opcional)


Siempre que me da por navegar hispa sólo veo gente compitiendo entre sí por quién es más "jorgito" y reaccionario pero las publicaciones creativas o interesantes escasean. Una caricatura de /b/ y /pol/ a donde pareciera que todos llegaron porque dross o algún otro youtuber les dijo que los usuarios eran muy malitos y perturbados.


Ay si, los "jorges" son groseros y enfermos.



You're welcome.


Brujito is Male witch. (Lit. Small male witch)

We be los tres magos/hechizeros.


Why can't I just drop dead


What a disgusting, tedious and monotonous existence this is. I want to be cured.


i'm bored to tears man.


File: 1564234120585.jpeg (3.59 MB, 4032x3024, 4:3, 6540A2BA-6911-4355-9E5C-C….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

Chill, wizzie.
Take a deep breath and do something enjoyable, even if it’s only mildly so.



If you only knew the ideas I've had on my tongue for a revenge piece, with a sort of The House that Jack built meets vvindowsme vibe, which I've bitten to the point I..wish I was rivalling Hilary Swank's character in million dollar baby.


These next few paragraphs were without thinking.

I am sad! I can't think of much to say, and I guess that's just what my life is, honestly. I didn't think I would make it this far, but in my mind, I knew it to be true. I am now past high school, which felt like a dream. It was a dream long ago now. My siblings are now finding themselves with more responsibilities and general abilities. They can do things that I do not think I'll ever be able to do. I'm proud of them both. I cannot do such a thing, study or even do any kind of career, but I feel like it's a possibility. With the workforce being such a thing, with positions that need to be filled without any kind of clairvoyance, I haven't a clue if I'll ever get there. I doubt I'll get farther. I can try, but I feel the sadness coming upon me with each passing day.

I will live here, in my state, in my neighborhood. I will look upon the children now and watch them grow (assuming), and I will watch them surpass me. If I cannot do this, death is my cure. It is my tonic. One cannot expect to continue this after defying the expectations of their parents, can they? I cannot. It is because my mind is a closed room, and I was destined for this mindset to be upon me. It was per-determined. All of the circumstances lead me to this conclusion, and my mind is the culprit to most of my suffering and my "enlightenment". I can think of new ideas and new, uh, ways to see things, but in my mind, I am definitely trapped. I would say most people are trapped in their own mindset. Don't get a big dick, idiot. I know this sounds really dumb, but I'm just writing without thinking.

I can't think any more. Feel free to contribute by just typing without thinking.


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Oh look at this: my late 2016-early 2017 in a nutshell.


I just want to collapse on the floor, combust spontaneously and burn to ashes in seconds.


I can't gather the energy to do anything. I've had the goal of getting into shape for years now because I thought it might make me less depressed but I have made zero progress. I can't get myself to do anything. What's the point of even being alive if you have no control over your own actions?


This evening I accidentally stumbled upon our schools' graduation yearbook and decided to take a look inside. Unnecessary to mention that I recall strictly negative and awkward memories with that time. It's amazing how hurtful, unthinking and ruthless our class and people of that age group in general are. It's all so obvious and aggressive in the sense that everything revolves around status and popularity and those persons who didn't fit in were mocked and looked down upon. This behaviour is not surprising at all however the complete lack of reflection and compassion that you can read between the lines is astonishing. I don't know anymore why back in the day I cared about this stuff to a point that I felt actually hurt because of all the negative feedback I received on my profile. It was like those comments told the harsh truth about myself so to me that shit mattered and it shattered me. This reaction is ridiculous.

The persons who wrote that back then didn't think about the damage they would deal to the outsiders at all. In fact they didn't think at all. To them it's just like a social instinct to say this stuff and they probably forgot about it the moment after they wrote it. Basically most people that age are animals driven by the irrationality of youth. It's worth exactly nothing whatever they might have said because the people who wrote it we're at the age of a five year old emotionally, intellectually and empathetically. And most of them probably didn't grow up in that moral and intelligible sense till today as there are so many man-children in the work place who still act like they are in school. To them they won't ever change as long as they get attention and affirmation. Which lastly is controlled through chemical reactions. To grow up means to recognize this chemical process and replace it with own ethical values and theoretical views. I can fairly say that I pity people who never went through this phase of developement. Not only are they still children mindlessly hurting other people but moreover they will never learn to deal with life their own way. In fact they are totally dependent on the recponition of other people.


turns out sitting infront the PC for 16-18 hours a day for 3 years straight does wonders for your body.


It fucks up your mental health.


File: 1564357978261.png (2.7 KB, 500x250, 2:1, Oekaki.png) ImgOps iqdb

Sorry for long post..

I am kinda happier now which is fucking strange, but i have reason..
I did lsd, i'm not sure if my trip occured while i was a awake or if i was lucid dreaming while sleeping,
Once the effects ran off i couldn't remember mostly anything that happened before i took the lsd, but i was thirsty as i usually am after doing it.
I was confused and scared

Anyway, during my trip i was offered a chance to live wholesome life where every pleasure or emotion would be approprietaly engaged upon and i would have children (adopted), never feel unhappy,
i would live in my own ideal world

The catch was that this new life of mine would end with my death.
And this whole life of immesuarable pleasure, feeling content, going on wizchan and reading nice threads and giving advice, going on trips everywhere i fucking wanted, collecting pokemons, would all in all feel like one second before my death would inevitably come,
I have hard time explaining this, but i'm serious.
The life would in it's nature restrict me to achieving pleasure and fully engage my personality, brain, ego or such.
Maybe i would live forever in that world or die of old age at 78.

I was obviously accesing my own subconciousness and i could coherently feel like my mind had been showing me it's full potentional of what it could conceive.

Imagine the second you pull the trigger and you literally get everything you and your ego could want.

But what would come next would be being different person in different state of concioussness, cus you are dead and even if you weren't you would die in one way or another…
I don't know how that works and i'm not sure if anyone does, it is troublesome.

I'm somewhat aware of the concept of ego death and how different it transpires between different people, i felt like i accesed fully my own consciousness and i could barely offer a shard of what i had seen and felt,
but i am now more aware of the fact that i should not hurry my death and instead dedicate my life to trying to understand more and more and learn from my experiences such as these, or something like that,
In all truth i just want to meet one person who can understand what i just wrote about, please.


I have lost all interest in fapping. I'm not even trying no fap. I simply stopped fapping two weeks ago and still have no interest in doing so. It's an ugly and stupid thing to do anyway. I did it for over a decade more or less daily and it's nothing more than biological instinct. There is nothing erotic or cognitively stimulating about it. It would be fine if the desire never comes back.


What did they say to you?


Shit's getting better with time.no pills


it does wonders for my complexion


I want to die more than ever, I completely hate myself, looking in the mirror is disgusting, I want to slash my arms open but just for attention, I'll leave the blood stains on my desk just like the ones on the bathroom rug


What's even the point of this thread? Nobody cares about anyone's self-loathing and it's not going to change.


i care and read every post ITT


I hate how I'm not only bad at stuff, but bad at practicing and learning how to do stuff better.
I've been technically "playing" guitar for 4 years but I still can't play in time, still awkwardly fumble around and have to look for where to put my fingers, still can only play super basic level 1 songs at half speed because everything I learn just evaporates after like 3 days and every practice session ends with me putting the thing back in its case and wondering why I thought I could pick up something like this. I feel literally retarded.



It's for when you don't have enough to say for a topic, and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.


How old are you? It gets harder to learn things with age


Stop doing drugs.
We can achieve such state of mind by meditating.


There's nothing like seeing old people to make you seriously consider suicide.


File: 1564473880483.jpg (17.17 KB, 700x294, 50:21, a2f63bb1844b5fb14471920456….jpg) ImgOps iqdb

Lots care but they just don't have anything to reply with. I don't think it's weird for depressed social outcasts to not have much to say. I read every post. It's a support group more than a discussion group, people say what they want to say and sit down; every now and then someone will comment. You just have to imagine a group of men listening and nodding every now and then.


Fear rules my adult life - fear for my survival. Everything I have seems so delicate and is ready to break into pieces at the slightest upset. Consciousness is torture.


There's an overpowering stench on the dining room where the dog sleeps. It's not the first time I sense this nasty fish odor, what's worse is I read it's an inevitability.


>Dogs can smell like many things, depending on what they have most recently rolled in, but one of the more unpleasant aromas dogs commonly develop is one of fish. If your dog smells like fish, it is probably not because he figured out how to spray himself with Eau de Sardine. A fishy odor is usually the result of secretions from the anal glands.

>Anal glands, which are also called anal sacs, are small sacs located on either side of your dog’s anus. These sacs are full of specialized sweat glands that produce an unpleasant secretion that acts as a scent marker for your dog. When your dog poops, these secretions pass onto the feces, letting other dogs know important chemical information about your dog. This explains why your dog is so interested in other dogs’ poop, not to mention the tail sniffing that goes on when two dogs meet.

>If you notice a fishy smell, call your veterinarian. Your dog may simply need his anal glands manually emptied, or expressed, which should resolve the odor. Some dogs, especially small dog breeds, require their anal glands expressed regularly. Veterinarians and groomers both perform this service, and you can even learn how to do it yourself if you don’t mind the odor.

Fuck this world and fuck you mom.


File: 1564486133166.png (163.52 KB, 600x600, 1:1, 1548741900316.png) ImgOps iqdb

I like our dog, but it's such a filthy beast, I really hope my parents won't get another one after this one expires.
>Walk her daily for 5 years because nobody else wants to
>House is perma-dirty because she "doesn't like the backyard"
>Every now and then worry about neighbours complaining, her eating shit, her having some sort of nasty issues
>Food costs a bunch
>Can't just leave her unattended so they're kind of stuck, despite loving this "travelling" and "eating outside" memes.
It's this shitty hoarder mentality and the lack of ability to step out of your conditioning zone and admitting that times changed and you maybe have better things to do than to care for a living thing.


Woke up at 7am, been trying to just get up and do something for 6 hours. Fuck.


Not to mention all those time it's "that time of the month" for her and I have to fucking protect her from other dogs, while she's not exactly unwilling.
It's such a fucking disgusting charade, especially that I can't just go full Warlock and beat those other dogs with the leash or sticks because their owners will go fucking nuts. It's like having all of the nature's shit shoved right in your face if you have a pet dog. Even for companionship it offers, it's not worth it.


>cares about if anyone cares


When I was in 2nd grade I was bullied by a kid because I didn't want to be his friend.

Now I was bullied by a succubus because I didn't want to be her boyfriend…

There's no joke to that, that's just sad.


File: 1564498020409.png (60.96 KB, 207x180, 23:20, 1564447050487.png) ImgOps iqdb

No one likes me.


Hispachan es mierda,4chan ya es mierda pero hispa es peor,porque es 4chan para latinos.


I just had a fight with my mother. I got pretty ugly, shouting at her, telling her I hated living with her, how everyone treats me like shit in this house. It was mostly true but I regret saying it to her. I just had to hold it together for a few more weeks, for some reason I just couldn't stand to bottle it all up anymore.

Now I'm sitting alone, not sure if I should apologize. I feel like I should at least apologize for shouting and losing my temper, even if I was expressing my thoughts in a mostly honest way.


Fuck art.
I want to kill myself.


Wizzies is in the house tonight
Everybody just have a good time (yeah)
And we gon' make you lose your mind (woo)
Everybody just have a good time (clap)
Wizzies is in the house tonight (oh)
Everybody just have a good time (I can feel it baby)
And we gon' make you lose your mind (yeah)
We just wanna see you
Shake that w**d



What happens in a few weeks?


Going through withdrawls. Again. I'm sick of it.


They were going to let me move back into my old room, which hopefully would negate some of the noise problems that make living here so unbearable.

I ended up apologizing to her for losing my temper. I hope I haven't jeopardized any potential escapes from my situation by my outburst.


Good on you for apologizing.


There's a cat in my neighbourhood that I see every night when I go out for a walk. It usually runs away from me when I get near it, but today it meowed at me and tried getting close.
I didn't touch it because I'm a germaphobe and I really don't want to get parasites, but it still made me feel better.
But now my superstituous side makes me afraid that I die in my sleep tonight because I heard stories of cats getting unusually close to people right before they die.


File: 1564536203185.jpg (225.69 KB, 4288x2848, 134:89, hotos_2109727_original-min….jpg) ImgOps iqdb

My sleep was interrupted 3 times by my mom's barking dog. Thanks mom.


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I've at long last come to terms with the fact that revenge is bad and that sometimes losing battles is a part of life…


Would you guys like to see my idea of an oh so egdetastic revenge comic in its thesis statement format or whatever anyway? It's really nothing new if you've seen Dexter and the most sadistic anime that comes to your mind.


Something like this: You have no self-awareness (which of course is a joke as exactly the opposite is the case); you are the weird guy; noone knows you, noone likes you; you're a misfit; you are not like we are.

You know infantile stuff like that. Now I know that it's bullshit and I stopped caring years ago but at that age things like that hurt you. I'm not mad at them though anymore and I don't wish them any harm in their folloing lifes. They couldn't have dealt with the situation any different. At that age what you say and act is determined fully by your education and social circumstances. They didn't know any better. If I was in their position that age I would have said the same things. It's an objective problem rather that a personal conflict.




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My parents are a bunch of loud monkeys.
I just want to read in peace. For Fuck's sake.
Wish I had my own house.


Anyone else have increasing difficulties in speaking and moving? Recently, people always ask me to repeat myself and squeezing words out feels uncomfortable and difficult. I stumble a lot too when walking.


I don't move a lot recently, and yeah it does feel weird, I'll start going on walks in the morning I guess, to at least meet this 8000 steps a day quota.
Speaking was always an effort, I have to focus a lot not to fumble.


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I've been keeping a list of depressive posts I made on Wizchan and other boards I visit on a daily basis since April of 2018 with dates attached. Year's worth of observation have shown an interesting pattern: my posting activity peaks at the end of Spring and beginning of Summer, I write depressive posts with intervals of 2 days on average during these periods. Outside these periods depressive posts are written less frequently, with intervals of 5-6 days.
I don't know what I can conclude from the data gathered.


Don't kill yourself. kill others instead and only then consider suicide.


THIS stupid dog has tobark and bark and bark at my mom's face and this stupid dumb bitch does nothing! She's literally letting the dog bark at her face while she eats and she does nothing! She doesn't correct the dog! And when she does she screams and the dog barks more and she screams more until she gets tired and lets the dog keep barking until she's done eating.


I have an intense loathing for most of my family and familiars, especially all of those who tried to do me a favor and later showed themselves resentful. This is fucking why I hate people doing me favors and distrust others' motives - they rarely want to do something for you, and even then it's better to get going early when the going is good so they don't turn into monsters for no reason. Maybe my fucking selfish whore mom should have kept her legs closed instead of birthing someone who's always going to be treated like a worthless burden just for existing.



I think the root of much of my suffering is associating myself with others personally. I do not immediately recall a time when trying to share a personal relationship ever worked out, because there's always that damn suspicion and reservation in the back of my head. Possibly my happiest times happened when I was isolated for extended periods of time, shut up in my room. Quiet, still, and safe. Having ties is suffering. Business is more polite and reliable. Fuck being part of the pack unless it suits oneself.


When I go on my walk, I usually walk by government assisted housing. One of them has two small, yippy dogs that essentially chase me and bark. The owners are nowhere to be found. I always want to kick the little fuckers


Pretty convinced now that this planet is some kind of cosmic rehab clinic. Everybody is yearning for something always out of reach. Whatever this something is, its not here with us. rehabilitation is complete when a human no longer chases random things in a mimicry of chasing the actual thing and does things for their own sake instead of in enslavement to the hunger.

Sounds like you're doing a mantra. If you research mantras maybe you could learn to be even better at it. You're half way there already fren.


isn't that scientology?


I want to be something, I want to learn something, I want to do something, and yet, paradoxically, I'm so apathetic about things, nothing captivates me for even a small amount of time.
What an awful endless loop of shit.


Ya guess so, except my version fits in a small paragraph instead of however many bookshelves and I won't charge anybody $300K to read it.


K, have fun.


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Do normalfags feel bad after having sex? You're horny and then the next second you stopped being horny. Problem is you fucked with a person to stop being horny and there's no reason for that person to be with you anymore, because you already used her/him. And it's not much of a solution if there's love between these two persons or them being a couple, normalfags have this open sex culture where they have sex when they feel horny with whoever agrees to have sex with them which it's really not worse than a regular couple having sex, because what they're doing is using another being to satisfy one of their most basic human needs, so it's exploitation in a sense, and both parties agreeing on the act doesn't make it any different I think. But that's always what sex is going to be, so wouldn't that make sex a thing that is always wrong to do? And life is also that, so living must always be wrong. There's no way to not do bad unto others and treat them as if they weren't mere objects to obtain a personal gain.


there's this meme of wife wanting to cuddle and husband just wanting to go to sleep, right? I think the whole tinder and hook-up thing wouldn't take off if norms didn't prefer to hump'n'dump without consequence.
We're in a stage where we still cling to old morals (marriage, being loyal and shit), while we obviously want to act like bonobos and just fuck in the streets whenever our genitals get moist.
I think there's no use thinking about it, being a Wizard we chose to not play the game, which happens to be the only winning move to.


I like you doghurt poster. I think like you.
Fuck all these wizcattle normalfags, I understand your hatred.


Good post.


>Oh I forgot to say I've been using the internet for one long year now btw


You shouldn't kill people. You would be taking innocent lives or harming lives that are related to the people you murdered. Think about it, some crazy idiot taking the life of your dad or cousin when you were a kid just because he hated the world. Mods should delete posts like yours that encourage people to commit crimes.


>we censor people expressing bad thoughts and then people wont have bad thoughts anymore
that always works out so well, yes

Also not that I encourage it, but there are many people out there who are not innocent. You probably know a few from school or work.


File: 1564700642113.jpg (573.1 KB, 940x1108, 235:277, beard_1-100914.jpg) ImgOps iqdb


this right here


Aye lonely guy, saying good morning to people via text is kinda creepy in most situations. Also if you are lonely try joining the discord or something idk

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