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/dep/ - Depression

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Do you ever wonder if spending a significant amount of time alone is driving you slowly insane? Like finding it harder to separate daydreaming from reality, not being aware of things happening around you, changing the ways in which you react to situations and external stimuli etc?


The world seems dreamlike very often. Sometimes when I reach out to grab an object I'm skeptical whether or not I'll phase through it, or if it's really there and I'm not hallucinating. Same goes for my thoughts, I am constantly questioning whether I - my consciousness, or soul - am thinking these thoughts, or if some other entity has possessed my mind. Haven't had a conversation in years, might have something to do with it.


Living alone drove me mad. I lived on neetbux so I never really had to go anywhere except the grocery store. I stayed in for days or longer at a time and dreaded going out. I’d have to get blasted drunk to even step foot out of my house. I was probably headed towards eating shotgun soon when my family intervened. I would not recommend living alone if possible, it’s at least not good for me.


There are definitely bad effects from being alone all the time. My speech became slurred from disuse, I can't convey my thoughts clearly and the amount of time I need to "process" information is doubled if not tripled. Although it's also because I fried my brain on 24/7/365 escapism. The reward system is really fucked from instant gratification.


Dopamine fast. https://boldanddetermined.com/decrease-dopamine/
Have the most boring day of your life and abstain from all mindless instant gratification in the hopes that it will unfuck your reward system and restore your ability to think. If all you do is waste your life away and you don't have too many responsibilities, one day of trying it out won't hurt.


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>one day of trying it out won't hurt.

If by "hurt" you mean "be worth it" you're right: I'll practically be anesthetized.



That guy is full of bs.


how old are you wiz?


i'd tell this guy to take his antipsychotics before he becomes schizo. "magical thinking" is a symptom of latent schizophrenia tbh


no i'm not, i just read it online somewhere. I really should block /dep/ lol


You are better off alone. You may think that you aren't, because you may be feeling distraught, depressed, or even angry. Trust me when I say this though, the drawbacks loneliness far outweigh those of leading a regular, sociable life. The incessant whining of those you deem "friends", the constant belittling of those you deem "family", having your dreams and hopes be crushed because people don't think you're "good enough" or they "aren't for you". I'd rather go insane then deal with that. Also, if you are starting to find it difficult to separate reality between your daydreaming, you may have some form of depersonalization. Go to a psychatrist and they will give you some yummy pills.


Agree about the dreamlike quality. It sort of feels solipsistic, like I imagine VR might feel. I'm the only living thing moving around my small island of inanimate objects, communicating not directly to people like me but instead by writing thoughts on a screen and seeing the thoughts of others written in a similar way.


Living alone for an extended period of time made me experience life like Fernando Pessoa described it in his work 'The Book of Disquiet'. Everything starts to become unreal. Dreaming is the main mode of going through daily life. You not only despise acting but you begin to lose a bodily connection to your actions. It feels like another person is acting vicariously for you. You don't go through the day coherently but instead you passively experience situations from whose you are alienated and it is like someone else goes through these situations. Everything around you seems like it's not part of your intentional experience instead you are exposed to things powerlessly without any chance to control them or even understand them. One of Pessoas best impressions is that you feel your thoughts more than that you think about them rationally and your feelings become thoughts. Feeling and thinking swap places. What you feel is what you think and what you think is what you feel.


>posting this on wizchan

Very nice wizzie. You are doing the devils' work.


He posted it on /b/ too


"All begginings are hard,persistance is an art"



Honestly this seems quite accurate. This is a weekend so I'm not working and today I have spent 8 hours lying down not doing anything, only getting up for lunch. My brain feels like it's in a 24/7 haze and I have no idea how to stop it


Now imagine the same condition but as a NEET and you know how bad it can get.


Why do his mannerisms piss me off


>that website

wizchan 2019


It does and did drive me insane. I was a kid who had a close friend who was like a brother to me. I had the typical suburban life with other friends although not as close living in the neighborhood. At school while I was not popular I was also not really unliked either. I got along with most people and had friends and was building my relationships to have a nice little social circle. I was pretty happy and everyday I was with friends both at school and at home. My parents were the type who mostly ignored me but it didn't matter because I had a surrogate family with my friends my best friend who lived next door in particular.

Then my parents decided to pull me from school 3 months before that ended and move me to the country. Not only did I have no friends there were no kids nearby to even make friends with. Being pulled 3 months early plus 3 months summer vacation with parents who only give a shit about them selves left me in complete and total isolation for half a year. My only friend was a super nintendo I was basically in a more comfortable solitary confinement at age 12. Didn't help that the country boy class mates I had when I started school were all in cliques established in kindergarten so I underwent severe bullying making a nice little perfect storm.

It broke me and I completely lost it never having regained even 10% of that happiness. I am 36 years old and it ruined my life beyond fucking belief. I am broken and no longer see the value of most relationships the concept of family is a joke to me, The number of people I can trust boils down entirely to myself and myself only. I am a failure socially and financially. My parents refused to believe they were trash parents until I had my psychiatrist write them a letter basically saying that the vast majority of people would of broke down undergoing that kind of isolation after having a normal life before that. They accepted it for about a year but ultimately constructed some narrative blaming it all on me in the end.

I cant say I am hearing voices but there are times when reality seems fake and unreal. I sometimes look in my mirror and have a nagging suspicion the person staring back is not me. Even though all the facial features are correct I just cant help but feel its not me. I get around this mostly by just looking at my hair since that Is the only real reason to look in the mirror most the time anyway.


God, I'm so lonely.


>social interaction pisses me off
>i go insane if I don't at least talk to mom/dad or coworkers every day, even about dumb stuff

I prefer being a wizard, but it's a double edged sword. I'm not able to completely isolate myself or rid myself of my herd animal mentality, despite being a loner


That means you're a true wizard


Every day is overstating it, but, still


I no longer need to talk to my parents its pointless because they wont listen anyway and ill get is "life is what you make of it" out of my mom. I think she used that one fucking line 5 times in one conversation we had months back.
Anyway I don't bother with them anymore and find I am not any worse off.

I do need to talk to people on here,4chan and my FC mates in FF14 though. Its fucking sad I get better and deeper conversations out of this place compared to people I know in real life. It is what it is I guess I suppose in ideal world I wouldn't need any of it or even exist at all.


I talk to my parents purely because I still live in their house. It's almost always about smalltalk - how our days have been, me complimenting my parents on meals they prepared (and other stuff they do for me), that kind of thing. The smalltalk witk my coworkers is about my work 99% of the time; the other 1% is wishing each other a good day/weekend.

Most of my "real"/deep convos are online. Even then, it's inconsequential. It's enough to satisfy my itch, I suppose, but it satisfies my needs.

I've been meaning to pick up FF14.


yeah I still engage in small talk as well but I don't need or enjoy it. About as meaningful as when a checker at a store asks how my day went. I find it insufferable regardless of where I have to do it. Why does everyone want to talk about the damn weather? I don't care outside is that place I walk through to and from my car to some building or another.


Imagine that solitary confinement you've experienced but for an entire lifetime. Welcome to my world.


No because real wizards are schizoids and schizoids feel better alone.



I'm sorry wizlife is not for you


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I feel like I'm already half-insane as it is and I'm not even truly on my own yet. Both my parents are still alive and I've lived with them my whole life. Over 12 years now as an acutely agoraphobic hermit. In my case, I usually exchange words with my mother each day about this & that, which, however paltry it might be, keeps me at least somewhat grounded. Good thing is that, opposed to the parents of most other wizzies here, I can pretty much talk about anything with her and, every now and again, we have some pretty satisfying, in-depth conversations. Having said that, without her around, I'd probably go off the deep end in many different ways (begin talking to myself incessantly, self-harm out of control, just generally start to lose my grip on myself & everything around me, etc.) Like I said in the beginning though, I feel quite bonkers as it is and already suffer from the things I just mentioned, despite the fact that I haven't even faced true & complete isolation yet. For quite a while now, I've barely been able to tell the difference between mundane dreams I've had & what my actual memories are, coupled with an acute dullness & sleepiness of my senses & grip on what should be the familiar. That sort of intense disorientation, of both the temporal & psychological variety, gets to me pretty bad as it is. Without my parents, and more specifically my mother, around to help partially ground me to an immediate sense of time & place, I'd imagine I'd begin to lose all sense of it completely. Perhaps it won't be as bad as I think it will be. After all, one can often be surprised by what it is they can get used to in the end. Either way, it's safe to say that what I can expect is for what I feel now to be worse & more painful. The lows will be lower, the depression deeper, and the general & near constant sense of displacement to be that much more disorienting. I've sometimes wondered if I'll even become a paranoid schizophrenic in the end. I've suffered from paranoid delusions all my life, both large & small, even feeling like I've been on the verge of hearing voices at times. My parents are a bit of a bar on the door to this I feel. Without them, it would just come spilling out like a torrent of sludge. Nothing to do, but wait & see, I guess.


>You are better off alone.

This is true & I've often reminded myself of the same sorts of things, but I feel it only applies up to a certain point. I mean, personally speaking, I can say with utter confidence that I definitely wouldn't be better off without my parents around. Quite the contrary, that would fucking suck. Full stop. Maybe if your parents are assholes, one might feel differently, but, even so, being totally alone & isolated takes its toll in a big way. Hell, I've long been feeling that toll as it is and, again, I'm not even fully alone yet. I'll admit however, that loving & understanding parents are really the only sorts of ones who can fill this role as far as company is concerned. You certainly couldn't expect the same thing out of 'friends', or whatever other self-interested strangers might be out there. It comes with far too much baggage & bullshit, as you already pointed out. I've never even had friends and yet I know that much. Even Wizchan itself might as well be like talking to a wall. It's tragically grim to consider how this website will be all I'll have left someday. That itself is quite frightening/hilarious to think about in equal measure.


That's essentially been my entire life as well, barring the presence of my parents.


wizkids begone.


> depressed because "i has no friendz"
> calls others wizkids

based wizchan 2019


you fucking scum of the earth who the fuck do you think you are to tell people that them feeling bad because of no friends is stupid. You are a piece of shit who deserves to be banned on sight.


>who the fuck do you think you are to tell people that them feeling bad because of no friends is stupid

wow maybe feeling bad because of no girlfriendd is fine too
epitome of wizchan 2019


Feeling bad because of no friends is stupid. After all, you can always make a tulpa you can talk to every day. :)


look at you faggot you have to build a strawman just so no one can see that you're in the wrong here you piece of shit.
B-but rules say you can't discuss this or say this so it means it's not right to get sad about having zero friends and been ostracized. Actually, it's totally cool and rad to be rejected from all social groups hehee!

You have no fucking idea about the person you just replied to but you just want to VIRTUE SIGNAL cause you're nothing but a piece of shit who doesn't care about anything but looking like the most wizardliest wizard on wizchan.
Fuck you piece of shit you don't deserve shit, mods should ban anyone like you.


>You have no fucking idea about the person
>you're nothing but a piece of shit who doesn't care about anything but looking like the most wizardliest wizard on wizchan.
>you just want to VIRTUE SIGNAL

the irony

calm down and go get a friend or something before it's too late


no, you stop being a fuckin asshole to anyone who expresses a normal fucking desire that doesn't align to your image of what a wizard is.


If you became a shut-in hermit because of being rejected from all social groups and not because of your personal choice - you're a crab loser, lol.


Wanting a gf is a normal desire for male virgins. Doesn't mean it's okay to talk about it on wizchan.
>stop being an asshole
Oh no, the losers over at /dep/ are getting bullied! Oh, the tragedy.
Imagine whiteknighting for male virgins lol.


the idea that you think that you chose to not be in those groups and to become a "shut-in hermit" just speak volumes of how deluded you are.
Even more if you consider yourself superior to those who did not.

See, no one spoke about gfs.
It's you, you are the one who all this time keep mentioning gfs!

>the losers over at /dep/ are getting bullied!

Now you call them losers! You're breaking the rules you want so much everyone to obey!

>Imagine whiteknighting for male virgins lol.

Note how he uses male virgins in this sentence and the tone it has.

Isn't it more obvious? This retard just comes to /dep/ or wizchan to insult depressed virgins or have a good chuckle at their expense. And he dares to talk about wizardry and straw man this hard.


honestly not as much as i was told it would. Only thing i do now is that my life sometimes feels like a movie and i talk to myself much more than i did.


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But, I don't want friends and never have. I literally said almost exactly that in my post. I'm depressed about a lot of things, but the lack of friends is something that actually gives me joyful relief, not sadness. All this hoopla you stirred up over something that basically just comes back to your, and even others here to some extent, lack of basic reading comprehension. Your blazing retardation is what is truly worthy of the "wizchan current year" meme, my wizkid. By the by, your brainfart-tier one liner post is primarily why I called you a wizkid, along with insinuating that there's some higher ideal or code of conduct to wizardry beyond its very simple definition. Which, when speaking in regards to the latter is, itself, exactly the sort of thing that young wizkids tend to crusade about or struggle against when first discovering their wizardry before eventually, one can hope, realizing their original error in thinking there is any. In retrospect, "lazy shitposter" would've been a more accurate slur to use.

Anyway, whatever. Shame this thread had to get torpedoed with playground nonsense, but hey. That's shitty old wizchan for you. A disgusting trash heap filled with dumb as shit users, no better than children, just like any other imageboard. Foolishness like this is just par for the course, which, although not exactly surprising, is still sad in its own way to witness for the aged & more mature amongst us, like myself.

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