For the first time in prolly over a year I had a can of Arizona (the non-tea watermelon flavor).
I made an "oath" to myself not to drink one again because it reminded me of a character from a story I wrote with a shoddy history (who was like a mixture of The Dude Lebowski and Q from the 007 films) but then I remembered I killed the character off, so meh.
I didn't touch on any of this in my previous post, but everything you've mentioned is absolutely true and serves as a much larger & more damning indictment of what a putrid cesspit that place is. Even a cursory glance at most of the threads there is enough to make me want to pour an entire bottle of bleach over my eyes in sheer, overwhelming disgust. In my case, I only visited the site once a couple years ago and then quickly forgot about it. Needless to say, but I really wish it had stayed that way. Nothing, but a cancerous polyp, cut from the same diseased flesh as r9k & the once alive, and equally cancerous, hikkichan. Wizchan itself might be pretty lackluster, with the entirety of /lounge/ being one of the biggest eyesores, but it's nothing compared to the likes of other message boards like Uboachan. Gives one some perspective, at the very least, as to how much worse one pile of shit can stink from another.
>It's bound to be shit because it's labeled 'NEET and Advice'
Yep. Even the previous board before that was simply named /n/ for NEETs. Why they have it displayed as "/hikki/" now, I have no idea. Either way, as you just pointed out yourself, what else can one expect from a place with a header like that, other than a complete purgatory of hostile shitposters & lolcow sadists. A shame that a board named after Yume Nikki would be such a blight to the senses, but I'd imagine that's been a known fact to most out there for a long time now. I'm really out of the loop when it comes to these sorts of things.
>Even on 2ch though quite a few people on the hikki board post about going outside to convenience stores at night. And they also have threads for people who are doing newspaper delivery as a part time job, in order to overcome their anxiety.
Yes, well, good for them, I guess. When all's said & done, there are simply extreme outliers in everything whom, by mere virtue of them being an outlier, will always feel separate from the majority. Even if, in this case, that aforementioned majority are a bunch of introverted shut-ins suffering from various levels of isolation. In the end, I honestly don't know what I'm looking for. What would be best now, is for me to just lie down. Lie down & dream about my own world, but, more importantly, my own eventual release from all the insufferably neurotic & tired old pieces that make up who I am. I'm "alone", so much as an occasional purveyor of message boards with two living parents can be alone, I suppose, but still. A part of me will always rue, regret & struggle against this pseduo-aloneness of mine, but, deep down, I know that it's better this way and that other people, or communities, are rotten & of no value, regardless of similar, or dissimilar they are to myself. Perhaps what I regret most of all is that I'm a human. A weak, needy human, with a legion of emotions & sensations that run contrary to who I know myself to be. Having to constantly put such pesky sensations in their place can be quite tiring and is a large part of the reason why I just want to die, so I can finally be free from all of it. Because, at the end of the day, there's no escaping being human, unless you were born a psychopath or had a NDE like UG Krishnamurti, leaving your egoistic sense of humanity obliterated in the process.
By the way, 2ch's a Japanese speaking only board, right? I'm pretty sure it is, but I just wanted to ask, anyway. >>205699
>There have been some decent hikikomori/ NEET threads in the past but with the current level of politics and outsider aggression I see trouble.
Yes, I know. I've been a part of many of them, as a matter of fact, but I also agree with you about those concerns you mentioned. Wizchan can be an extremely caustic place itself most times, so I often don't bother posting out of fear & lack of energy. And as you said, even if Wizchan did have a /hikki/ board, it would be deader than a door nail and mostly useless. Worst case scenario, it serve as nothing more than just another playground for LARPer's to get their cheap amusements out of. Either way, it's nice to know I wasn't insulted or belittled for expressing these sorts of things, so it's an appreciated & welcome surprise, compared to what this site more often than not dishes out, especially these days.
I think my dad ruined my life, when I was a young boy he would constantly call me a succubus, and a sissy, ask me if I wanted to be a succubus, tell me that he was gonna get dresses for me to wear and stuff; all of this because I didn't want to do a sport or in times when I was too weak to pick something up or also in times when I was too shy. I think this messed with my little 5-6 year old mind, I just wanted to do what a little boy does but my dad implanted all these thoughts in my head and left me laying in bed at night wishing I was a succubus so then I'd stop being bullied by him. I don't understand why if you are a full grown adult you would think it's a good idea to constantly tell a 6 year old or 7 year old or any year old little boy that he is a succubus or he should be a succubus over and over again, I think my dad is very stupid and also my mom doesn't escape blame because she was standing there right beside him every time. I think it just goes to show that you should be forced to take child care classes or something before even becoming or getting someone else pregnant because most people are just idiots that shouldn't have children.
Reading your story enrages me and makes me want to hate your father until I realize he is probably just low IQ like most people in this society are and had no concept of child psychology whatsoever.
In truth he was probably in his own sick and twisted way trying to help you and thinking he was helping you via that old retarded idea that "if I just mock my kid long enough, he'll eventually get mad and change his undesireable behavior" but all it most likely did was make you withdraw farther into a psychological shell to avoid more psychological pain from his abusive language running down treatment of you.
Sitting here with fucked up depression tourettes shouting out about killing myself and pleading for forgiveness. Today I am having a mental break.
This happens to me as well from time to time, though I don't have Tourette's.
My parents are gonna kick me out because I don't want to go to college
I don't know what to do. So confused rn. One thing for sure. I'd rather die from starvation than go to college
Tell them that you're going to kill yourself if they kick you out.
Either you will scare them enough to let you be NEET forever or they won't give a fuck and say "go on",and you will be finally able to commit suicide without caring about your shitty parents.
>have been lying in bed all day every day for the past two years or so (much longer if you discount the brief periods of activity in my life)
>my parents response to this is to print out job listings for me and tell me to get a job
jesus fucking christ. If you think that's helping just go fuck yourself. Your job as a parent is to provide emotional support. You never once did that and look what happened. They think just trying to make me conform to social norms is the key to everything. Help me find friends as a kid? Why would a kid need friends, we feed and clothe him, that means we've done everything a parent has to do. Fuck this goddamn shit. This is what neglect is and it's been happening my entire life and now they just expect me to be a perfect little normie so I don't shame them. Well fuck you.
the americans have completely taken over my city and made it a violent prisonlike shithole like in the judge dredd movie, and just today they murdered all the innocent trees that arbored my neighborhood sidewalk because trees "encourage crime" or whatever their paranoid minds imagine on their filthy marijuana drugs
I'm not even leaving my house any more, there's nothing left to do, I tried to but they destroyed fucking everything
destruction is all they know
>>205791>the americans have completely taken over my city
What the fuck are you even on about, dude? Has there been a mass migration to some scandinavian shithole because oil or something? What the fuck.
nothing I will do matters. I am stuck in this hell family and awful life forever who the fuck thinks he can crawl from bad parenthood and bad circumstances to happy life?
it can be tough and annoying, but I like being clean and I know even though showering is annoying I will feel better for having done it
We can't. We do with what we got and drag on our damaged psyche and body till it's time we don't. I just resolve all I can and don't let anything I feel get swept under the rug.
I took one first one this week, I just felt disgusting enough to do so. Otherwise it's just a waste of resources and time when I don't. Usually uncomfortable unless I have a lot on my mind to think about in there or it's ice cold and it gives me a break from it.
I never thought I had tardive dyskinesia but I've been on meds so long and I know I have an involuntary twitch, it reminds me kind of like south park when tweak twitches, my head jerks to the left and my eyes close and I make an ah or an uh sound, I think it's tardive dyskinesia from so many years of taking all sorts of crazy medicines, at least it's not so bad and it doesn't happen too often, I hope it doesn't get worse
it's becoming a habit I'm looking forward to, doubling up on antipsychotics every night and then sleeping for 12 hours, I wanna do it again, I don't know why it's so addicting
You should take cold showers; it's the exact opposite of exhausting.
I just want to live in my dreamworld.
I don't think you understand where the exhaustion lies.
Attention, money and affluence, sense of belonging to a group, self-affirmation through domination, physical or moral, everything humanity does revolves around these, it's sickening.
Let the planet burn.
your post does have the elements of attention, sense of belonging to a group, self-affirmation through domination, physical or moral
what you don't have is money and power
I just wish I could have a friend.
Someone I could be close and intimate with. Someone I could talk to about philosophy, games and also minuscule things, like the pain I feel from pinching my little finger on the door. Someone who would give me value, and someone I could give value in return.
Why is it so hard to do so? They say there are millions of lonely people out there in the internet. I've been searching for years and no one is compatible. Best case scenario: always mental children; worst case: they lose interest.
Maybe I am just not worthwhile.
Post a way to communicate with you
what do you mean by mental children?
I also do nothing all day but browse the internet and don't have any friends etc. The difference is I'm not depressed about it because I know I prefer this life over the fake life that normies live. I know it's not related to the thread theme but I'm just trying to help. Stop beating yourself up over things you don't really want to do anyway. You say you want to do this and that but you take zero steps in that direction. This just means that you don't actually want to do it and that you just don't know yourself very well.
What makes their lives "fake"? I am all for self-acceptance and being happy with what you have but it should also come from truth.
What's there to prove? The obsession consumes my mind; I cannot get it out of my head for long how much I despise 99.99% of this reality and I long to live in the one I fantasize about instead.
sometimes i google phrases like "i have no one" or "nobody is there for me" in hopes of finding people have posted similar things that i can relate to. almost every time, i find a post from a person describing their situation which happens to be similar to mine, but the post always ends up being from some succubus and the last paragraph is always "the only person i have is my husband, and i'm so lucky i even have him!" or some dumb shit like that. this shit is endlessly infuriating and i don't know why i keep doing this
Switch to DuckDuckGo or Startpage. Google tracks all of your searches
good, i hope google agents come and kill me
Your contempt is well thought out and reasonable. I enjoyed your post.
I disagree that we are headed for inevitable collapse.
I believe groids will evenntually spread between the stars, where we will plub new depth of misery and new heights of ecstacy. Someone like us will be monitoring an automatic gas mining platform 90 light years away several thousands years from now, just about earning enough credits from his local government to continue life extension treatments from passing drone medical ships whilst only getting enough time per unit of work to have some time in his VR world. He will hate his job and consider suicide, but probably be prevented from it due to living on company property.
God I hate this. I actually used to lurk on an all succubi chan called crystal cafe and I saw this shit endlessly. It was a post I could identify with about how lonely they are or whatever and then they would fucking ALWAYS without fail mention their boyfriend. It got to be a little ridiculous. I don't think succubi understand what loneliness is.
Finally looked into my healthcare for a more pressing medical concern, I think I'm going to give up and try the pharmaceutical meme while I'm at it.
What do you think of online friends? Throughout the years I mostly just stick to imageboards but occasionally I would add people and talk to people online. Without fail they ghost me. I should be above such petty feelings, but the truth is it does bother me. It is a bit of a hit to my pride, as if they view me as so inconsequential they just completely ignore me. I would feel better if they just outright rejected me and told me to fuck off, rather than just ignoring me that way. I am a boring person, so I shouldn’t have expected anything more. I tried IRC and skype over the years and would always just be ignored by everyone, I tried discord and all the servers are cliquey and closed off, without fail i’d be silently removed from the group without any explanation. I’m used to rejection IRL but for some reason being rejected even online gets to me. I think it’s because in real life I can rationalize it that I was rejected for superficial reasons like my looks/mannerisms etc, but online it is a rejection of something more fundamental. I’m only a box of text online, so it’s like my very consciousness and thoughts are being denied.
I know it is my own fault, and I know I deserve it. I suppose the only graceful option is embracing solitude entirely, and not trying to use the internet as a surrogate for human interactions.
I sometimes forget just how wizardly I am. Going to some chan or reddit chat rooms based around depression or mental illness I see they are just barely scratching the surface still so when I talk it's like an ancient being of wisdom tries to bestow knowledge upon the lesser base beings…and of course it is always met with resistance or antagony. Even here on wizchan and it's chatrooms the users are not very different from the failed normies who make up the bulk of the internet now. Its like..yes, you're virgins and supposedly volcels but that's it -you still share 99% of traits with other crabs and failed normies in the online communities.
I'm the opposite, I'm usualy the one who ghosts people because I'm afraid they'll find out I'm a 30yo NEET loser. I used to play a online game around 2012 and I was very good at it, and ended up becoming friends with a lot of players. Eventualy people start asking things like "how old are you?" or "where do you live", and before you know it everyone was talking with each other using their real names instead of their nicknames, posting pictures of themselves on the forums, talking about their girlfriends, etc.
At first when they talked about this stuff I just pretended to be afk, but eventualy I had to quit the game. It was too much for me.
Same. A few months ago I posted a thread summarizing my life on /r9k/, and I got like 15 replies of people feeling sorry for me. That hit me hard, like even on that shithole site I'm the biggest loser around.
To me I just feel betrayed like I'm the only one who took things seriously. This pattern keeps repeating itself everywhere I go - people seemingly integrate in and out of communities as they see fit while also holding a job or going to college. I end up being left behind like it was all some kind of a joke every one was in on besides me.
I ghost people because I'm just so shit at social interaction in general. I treat interactions like letters in the mail, which means I'll take weeks or even months before sending a response or a message. So by the time I respond to someone they respond in five minutes with something essentially saying, "y u ghosted me bru?" And I'm sitting there looking at their message thinking, "But I didn't?"
I'm fucking tired of imageboards.
I don't know what to do with my life, nay, I don't know what we're supposed to do in life while we're on earth.
God, I want to die.
Pretty much how I've been feeling about Wizchan for the past 3 years or so
Life is so meaningless, but I still don't want to die.
Someone make a new thread please
NEW THREAD:>>2059107 >>205910