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Depression
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 No.206660

Is anyone else suffering from it? Any time I read about someone getting ill from doing something mundane I start reading about diseases and worrying. Even if the experts say that the illness is rare it stays on my mind for a long time. Also any time I experience some pain or strange sensations I assume the worst.

What contributes to my fear is that with a lot of illnesses its said that the sooner they get detected the better. But a lot of them have vague symptoms like headaches or what could be the flu. I'm fortunate to live in a country with socialized healthcare and still I can't just get checkups just to be sure because they could also do damage. X-Rays increase the odds of getting cancer, meds can have side-effects and it's possible that something benign gets mistaken for serious leading to unnecessary surgery which could have complications. So it's a damned if you do damned if you don't situation which leaves me in a constant state of anxiety. What makes things worse is that some illnesses can take months or even years to manifest so I have them on my mind for a long time before I know I'm safe. This is also why I don't have a fear of flying.

Anyone else like this? Maybe you managed to overcome it and could tell me how?

 No.206664

I suffer from this as well. My concerns revolve around my brain more than anything else, so I'm usually freaking out about anything that could potentially give me brain damage or impair the brain's functioning. This is somewhat debilitating as I can't sleep properly sometimes, anxiety gets in the way during the day and I can't focus on the task at hand and I also suffer from various obsessive thoughts.
It's awful, and what's worse, no one I talk to seems to take anything I say seriously, be it the severity of the condition that I possibly suffer from, want to have confirmed and cured and am stressed out about, or the fact that I obsess over all these diagnoses so much. And even though I say I want to see if I suffer from these diseases, in reality, paradoxically, I never end up visiting the doctor because I'm too afraid of finding out I actually have any them.
All of it so irrational, the anxiety and obsessive thoughts root themselves not just in scientific and medical facts that I read about but in my hunches and speculations that may be wrong and stem from anxiety and obsessive thoughts, creating this self-perpetuating vicious cycle that only further exacerbates my mental problems related to health anxiety.

 No.206666

You really need to let go of it and just accept you’re going to die when you will. Some people die early some people die really late in life. Some people do horrible life choices and live long some don’t. It’s about genetics. You need to accept it and you’ll be ok.

 No.206673

I've probably been exposed to asbestos. I worry constantly about this, which is strange, considering I have no real love for this life. In fact, I have often wished I could cease to exist. I suppose I just don't want to die a slow, lingering and agonizing death…

 No.206744

>>206660
Generally if you have something life-threatening you'll be losing consciousness, coughing blood, vomiting, etc.

If it's just random pains it could be due to anxiety or depression. One of my psychiatrists said something about symptoms of depression manifesting as physical pains or spasms. He also mentioned the stronger physical symptoms are, the weaker are psychological symptoms and vice versa.

 No.206747

>>206746
sorry, I'm retarded

Anyway, I suffered from a similar issue where I was scared I had a heart disease and would die in my sleep. So, every time I would go to sleep and fear not waking up, I'd make a mental note of that and in the morning I would remember that I was scared, but woke up regardless. I think over months I sort of convinced myself that since I thought so many times I'd die and I didn't, I don't have a heart disease.

Also whenever I see an ambulance passing by I remind myself that it could've been for me—but it's not, because I'm fine.

That's what helps me with similar fears.

 No.206781

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>>206673
Asbestos is scary. It's crazy how reckless normals are when it comes to health. It makes me anxious as fuck. There are so many horror stories. It makes doctor visits twice as anxiety inducing because I feel like I always need to be on the guard.

I don't get how normals are so relaxed when it comes to this. I try to avoid injury at all costs. And then there are people who risk injury for no reason doing sports or get cosmetic surgery. Or people who take recreational drugs that can have bad side effects.

 No.206783


 No.206784

>>206660
Well the thing is that your anxiety isn't necessarily irrational. There's a fuckton of stuff that can go wrong at any time. All you can do is to avoid unnecessary risks and try to stay healthy, but then cruel mother nature might randomly decide to play a joke on you, or a reckless normgroid might run you over with his car (which almost happened to me the other day). Right now I'm waiting to see whether I have to commit suicide or not, because a retarded circumstance left me severly injured, which might have ruined my life. If that ever gets better, maybe I'll randomly get cancer, why not. This world is retarded after all.

 No.206981

>>206781
Normans are attention whores or just too bred because they got no real problems in life so they actively seek them like acting risky and ending up handicap. Normans ARE masochists too.

 No.207104

Maybe talk to a dr about your medical anxiety and how it causes you distress.

There are medications you can try. Do they have side effects? Sure, but not everyone has them, and there is usually lots of drugs to try in the same class. And if you do have side effects, you gotta weight the pros and cons. It’s all about quality of life.

There is also talking to a professional. Find a good psychologist in your area.

 No.207109

>>206784
this is what I live by that somehow puts me at ease. Any number of things are going wrong at any moment and being just some wizard I am even more hopeless to stop it. To live long enough for me to die from cancer is pretty unlikely and if that somehow does happen by that age I probably will just be waiting for it anyways and the rest of my life would have already fallen apart completely.

 No.207424

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>>206664
>My concerns revolve around my brain more than anything else, so I'm usually freaking out about anything that could potentially give me brain damage or impair the brain's functioning
precisely this, anon. I am wary of my physical health to some extent, but I feel the most fear when I think of the damage done to my brain. It seems inevitable that such an unhealthy lifestyle will corrupt and rot my mind. I have seen it happen to people before so I know it is possible. For their mind to lose its spark, for them to become duller over the years and eventually they become essentially braindead automatons. The worst part is that as your mind deteriorates so does your perception and as a result it seems impossible to measure with any accuracy how badly your mind has become damaged. I’ve seen people become slow and it doesn’t seem they ever even noticed it. I know it is happening to myself but I am only dimly aware of it. My thoughts lose their complexity, my working memory is diminished, my vocabulary is drastically reduced. When I read over my posts there are lots of spelling and grammar issues, there is little or no structure, just a strange and unwieldy stream of thoughts and half baked and undeveloped ideas.

There is no doubt I have done damage to my consciousness. The two primary questions I have are “how bad is it?” and “can the damage be reversed?”

i hope to one day escape this murk. I have occasionally brief flashes of lucidity and the difference is astounding. The catch is that the return of a vivid imagination and sharpness of mind is always accompanied by acute and painful sensations of emotional suffering. Remorse, shame, sadness, disgust, anger. It’s a lot to handle and there does not seem to be any real pathway to catharsis. So I try to quickly dull my senses and my mind again - relying heavily on vice and sleeping as much as I can.

 No.207469

>>207424
same hear hear

 No.208021

I don't blame you OP. When you look on the internet on how to treat a certain symptom, you get bombarded with different types of illnesses and stories, often from reddit, describing their misery. Just yesterday I was looking at how to relieve a runny nose, and apparently a runny nose is a symptom of a cerebral fluid leak. I don't need to know that! But regardless Google still gives me the suggestion anyways. Or let's say I'm popping a pimple on my eyebrow, look up how to relieve a pimple, and suddenly I'm shown images of people who popped pimples on their eyebrows, got them infected, and almost went blind because of it. What the fuck? I don't need to know that either! It only fuels my anxiety. Also, by the way I am fine now. Didn't get an infection on my eyebrow and my runny nose has stopped today, but regardless all of these web suggestions can give one paranoia for no reason.

 No.208023

Nothing you do for your health matters. Became a total germaphobe after having the flu in 2015, ecoli in 2016. Just got call from foot doctor that i have mrsa from an ingrown toenail. Fucking deterministic outcomes.

 No.208026

>>208023
I don't even go to the doctor, I don't wanna know. One thing doesn't get something else entirely ridiculous will I never saw coming. I keep myself clean when it's possible and I eat as healthy as I comfortably can and keep my energy up.



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