sad because I suffer from chronic anxiety and panic attacks
I'm sad because after an entire year of suffering, some good things are starting to happen in my life, small things I must say, but enough to make me feel joy for a little moment. Unfortunately, those events are directly followed by a severe sadness and emptyness. As I said in the dep thread, it's like I'm not used to happiness so every time something of that kind happens my mind automatically reminds me they won't last forever and that I'm still inside an unscapable dark prison in my head.
I really can't understand how normans can enjoy a happy life, I'm so fucked up that even if I had all my deepest desires accomplished and lived a life full of lucky and good things, I'd still be depressive as fuck. Hate my mind
Can't tell you
Life is so boring to me.
Stories and Games are all becoming samey.
I'm always tired, I never feel joy.
I desire nothing but to stay in my room.
I'm just disappointed I exist.
Because I'm forced to participate in society as an ugly male with mild autism without compensation after having been a NEET for years.
Society is fucked. Things that are normal have no business being normal. People are lemmings who have no problem with running head on towards that cliff. Personal identity, community identity has broken down, families have broken down, everything that used to give meaning and stability to people's lives is gone. People are more isolated and alone than ever before. People are more narcissistic and callously uncaring than ever before. We have caused irreparable damage to our ecosystem and now all that waits is to watch the natural world completely die off, watch as billions are displaced due to disaster and famine, watch as food scarcities turn people into savage animals. And in the middle of all this, if you don't choose to become a wageslave and join in on the destruction you will become a pariah, cast out by everyone as a loser who deserves to suffer for the arch sin of being lazy. Everyone has gone goddamn insane, this entire world is insane. No rational person would ever sit down and design a system like this. We are trapped and we will suffer and die.
there is no future for me
not in this society
not in any other type of society
I cannot delude myself to think otherwise as I see things clearly
when you know one day you will die a premature death by your own hand, there is no point in doing anything anymore nor trying to achieve anything
In a mental ward for the first time, forced. I am so sad. I want to hug my mom.
If I make it out of here I am going to ask if I can sleep in the same bed as her and cuddle. For now, I am cuddling my pillow and crying myself to sleep.
I not even sure anymore
Many times I feel fear (maybe anxiety?) at just being around others
Though usually I repress those feelings enough so I can earn a living
Ever now and then I turn to binge drinking or disassociative substances to help relieve the stresses of daily life
Other times there is just a numbness and indifference for all things
I am sad because my family is going nowhere.
Almost 5 years ago i left my piece of shit country for another third world hellhole hoping things would actually get better. Turns out, it was.
2 Days ago I came back to my original country, but to my surprise everthing is just about the same but older.
The moment I step into my old (original) house i felt like some kind of devil spirit wanted to destroy my life.
I saw the face of my mother and big brother, but I only saw the face of defetaism.
I've been in the army, i suffered all kinds of injustices there, i faced poverty, shitty ultra low wages jobs (making 200 dollars a month working more than 48hs a week)..but seeing how my family..it's just fatal.
I care if I can relate to a person. Otherwise you're right. They're beneath my notice. I'm just like this I can't help it.
i'm 100% sure that you have money, a job and/or a degree so i think you can easily relate to an average "wizard" from this place
You'll get out anon, don't worry. And when you get out, your mom will be waiting with open arms.