Meant "soon", not "too".
Shots fired. Already took all my other shit, now I'm downing a glass of my favorite gin like it was replenishing lost MP.
I wanted to start with my first lesson/rant but the feeling of what's comimg punched me im the face. I can't believe how this shit has totally taken hold of my life through the years. But it feels good. I don't feel sad, I feel orgasmic pleasure and euphoria and intense feelings and feeling like I am ODing at the same time.
Just wanted to say that.
First lesson. They're in order importance.
What's humanity? Humanity is man as we know it. Cunnin, ambitious, strong-willed, sentient beings.
These sentient beings experience birth, life and death. They create and destroy. Human beings have societies. Societies are social constructs. Everyone lives under these constructs, given to everyone by default.
So next lesson.
Man this shit is so goood i can barely type. Picture a life of constant pain and despair and you can be high as fuck and pain doesn't exist. Only pleasure and euphoria.
Like every good dream is real
You know what I hate the most about myself? I love too much, too hard, too easily. The way I was physically and emotionally abused for most of my life made me cherish any single momemt a stranger smiled at me as a kid and adolescent and young adult.
Because I love I am weak. Love is a strong emotion. I just learned to defflect any feeling of love a person could had for me by turning im this selfish drug addict/alcoholic.
I extremely fear any perception of rejection so I just avoid people and get high. I am fully aware of this.
I fucking hate to admit I have feelings. My public healthcare shrink diagnosed me BPD for public statistics. But I behave like I al schizoid, pretend to be one or genuinely became one as a defense mechanism.
I also hate how similar all we are. We',ve gone and will go through the same things through all life.
We can all collectively be soul mates and best friends but this is just an anonymous forum. I genuinely love you my brother wizard. I am an oldy child. I want to hold you like wizard brothers we are.
>>211233>What manner of opiate are you taking?
Tramadol, it's as much or slightly stronger than codeine at larger doses plus grapefruit juice.
Opiates are heavily regulated where I live. Stimulants are easier to get. Cocaine is commom as fuck. Our must "dangerous" drug is crack.
I might actually return to cocaine use. I wanted to learm how to shoot it but had my thoughts. Haven't done cocaine in almost 2 years. Haven't been anle to quit either, just short months periods of sobriety.
>>211233>benzos recreationally due to addiction potential and bad withdrawls.
Also you are correct, don' do this. I've done stupid high doses of clonazepam for extemded periods of tomes. I am basically hooked to it formlife, from doctors point of view.
Like I just downed 6mg and it's nothing. I could done 20mg and I can tolerate that without ODing. PLUS the other drugs at the same time.
Bombay Sapphire Gin, Neat, slightly cold. The citric, most unique BEST bitter taste in your mouth. Nothing compares inyimd anf I omly drink straigjt liquor. I hate all alcohol that has a ABV% below 40%. Normies, drinking faggy shit with lots of mixers and melted ice. Bad taste.
Thanks if you restored thread, or didn't realize I accidentally hid it. I just reset my browser and it got fixed.
Thanks, please just don't delete this either wah
I againnaccidentslly posted OP bit imstantly deleted it, do't delete this.
I am curious, was this thread deleted and restored or did I just accidentally hid i
I will shut up now. Is this thread breaking any rules I've read rules multiple times snd Insee notjkng wrong.
Man thanks for that "we care" post. I just started cryimg.
That' one of the most beautoful thimgs anyome jas saod to.me and I am 25.
Still sobbing hard.
Just stopped crying. Thanks a lot, it means a lot to me. I could die right know and feel happy and grateful for those kind words
Does Trazadone have any street value?
I think not. Mirtazapime is better and they dom't hace recreational potentia.
Where I live you can get anti depressants and antinpsychotoxsllllllllllllllllllr
Mirtazapine mighr make you hallucinate with closed eyes, and it gives you vivid dreams and you remember yourndreams everydsyn ni rjjrjr
I have mirtazipine too