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File: 1585522672458.png (182.93 KB, 512x512, 1:1, fek.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.217547

>"read more and you'll get better"
>yeah sure i'll bite.jpg
>anhaedonia makes it damn near impossible to buckle down and read
>feel even fucking worse now
i don't want to get better anymore because i know that i've just wasted the vast majority of my life not having the same mental abilities as normies who can read things for fun without having to work a whole lot

 No.217551

Enjoying reading random stuff is a mental illness.
if something, anything interested you in the past, then maybe try to read stuff on that, or watch videos, something. It needs to be focused.

 No.217553

Trying to read anything makes me feel really stressed and I can't concentrate at all.

 No.217554

Read what you like, dont read to start liking something. Intellect comes from inside, and intelligence is useless anyway.

 No.217555

Maybe you're just a hylic. Pretty sure you don't get "anhedonia" from staring at the dopamine rectangle watching/doing whatever you do.

 No.217557

>>217555
In OP's defense, should a hylic not be entirely content living a life of material pleasures? OP believes himself to have "anhedonia", he knows that he is deriving no joy from his current situation, yet is probably masturbating, eating, playing video games, etc. In spite of this, there is still a desire for something different. Should that not be an indication of being above a hylic? Perhaps I'm wrong though, not very well versed in gnostic lore.

 No.217558

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In addition to anhedonia, I KNOW that years of internet, masturbation and anime has made me resist things that need a good amount of time investment to reap rewards, like in this case reading a good book.
To counter this, I came up with a plan of reading books that has really short stories, shorter than usual short stories that you could finish reading in a couple of minutes, then work on reading actual short stories, then work on reading novellas and then go for actual novels. I hope my plan works.

 No.217559

>>217558
do some math problems also maybe. might be fun and help you become more focused/exact in your thinking.

 No.217560

>>217559
Okay I'll try this out.

 No.217562

>>217558
The problem is that you have no determination. You need a dopamine fast, but you are weak willed and I know you won't change. You are a slave, you give in to the monkey brain asking for dopamine rushes from internet browsing, porn, and anime. You can't even follow the plan you've set out for yourself.

Just give up and embrace your nature.

 No.217564

>>217562
>Just give up and embrace your nature.
I KNOW that this isn't my nature. I used to do better during my school days when it comes to reading boring stuff.

 No.217566

>>217564
By the way how long should I go on a dopamine fast?

 No.217569

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I can relate. I can't sit down to do tasks that require a lot of focus or are too repetitive, and I also suffer from dopamine addiction (according to the Internet, at least).
However, I've never enjoyed books to begin with. I think they're overly drawn-out most of the time and too heavy on the pointless details, like poetic descriptions. Plus, I have problems with imagination, so I can't really enjoy fiction and experience the same things a lot of book lovers talk about, like "envisioning rich worlds", "feeling like you're a part of the book" and yadda-yadda.
Perhaps you have some of the problems I have. No reason to beat yourself up about not reading books.

 No.217571

>>217566
7 days, uninterrupted. Then stop watching porn and masturbating or at least heavily reduce it, and use media consumption as a reward for reading or whatever you want to achieve. For example if you got your reading for the day done you get to watch anime while you have dinner or something like that.

 No.217574

>>217573
because nofap rewards long-term satisfaction
stupid people don't have much self control therefore gravitate to short term one, like an heroin addict

 No.217576

File: 1585545179842-0.png (118.19 KB, 267x274, 267:274, hype.png) ImgOps iqdb

>>217571
I am going to do this from tomorrow and feels like now is the perfect time with the quarantine stuff going on.
I just looked up more on dopamine fasting and looks like this is going to be manageable except for eating and talking because I live with my parents.

 No.217584

>>217577
This is going to happen.
I tried to do a test run last hours and ended up getting really frustrated. My mom found out there's something wrong because I did nothing except staring at the wall for the first few minutes. I ended up eating a bag of chips that was rationed for this week.
Looks like I need to prepare before diving in into this fight. I have planned to pull off my CPU cord and WiFi adapter and dump it somewhere.

 No.217586

I don't think I've finished a book on my own since third grade. I've started maybe hundreds of books but never finished any of them, barely a few chapters in. Every time I try to read something, my mind starts to wander like it refuses to stay focus, questioning what I'm doing, not understanding half the things they're saying, their wording and all, and questioning if I actually enjoy this.
It sucks because I wanna make something on my own one day, yet have no skills or experience or things to built on. It's like having half a brain.

 No.217587

>>217569
>I think they're overly drawn-out most of the time and too heavy on the pointless details, like poetic descriptions. Plus, I have problems with imagination, so I can't really enjoy fiction and experience the same things a lot of book lovers talk about, like "envisioning rich worlds", "feeling like you're a part of the book" and yadda-yadda.
I agree. At the very least I can read non-fiction historical pieces, but then I start worrying if any of them are telling the truth. I also really hate most dialogue, it's hard to get through and shows that it's all one person talking to themself. Maybe it's because I barely talk to people so don't know how "real conversation with real people" is like.

 No.217595

This thread reeks of LARPing tru wizzes.

 No.217611

i think the anhaedonia comes from the years of unhappiness and childhood trauma and it's just reached its zenith
>>217557
i don't masturbate, play video games, and i hate eating
none of them give me pleasure and i basically just lurk, try and watch lectures or some other psuedointellectual meme, or think
>>217559
>>217560
basic algebra stuff on khan academy is satisfying and fun, if not a tad too easy
>>217571
i suppose i'll give this a try

 No.217612

>>217595
at least nobody's using terms like "mage" or "warlock"

 No.217614

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 No.217616

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>>217584
Alright I hope I last at least 1 day.
This torture is going to start once I go to sleep right now.

 No.217633

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>>217547
good luck OP

 No.217637

>>217547
I've recently started rewarding myself for doing shit. I transfer all my bux into a savings account that I don't allow myself to access. Only by doing activities like reading do I get to transfer money back out into my checking account. The idea is to rewire my brain to enjoy reading through classical conditioning.

 No.218107

>>217637
I'm doing something similar but I instead penalize myself by making myself give money to my parents when I fail to write enough code.

Also, reading sucks but I used to do it during breaks at school in order to avoid social interaction. Eventually, I found that the actual of sitting and staring into space was more rewarding. In hindsight, that may have been a sign that my schizophrenia was worsening. I think my brain has cooked like an egg.

 No.218108

>>218107
Kill yourself wagecuck

 No.218154

set hard time limits and stick to them. even if you're just sitting there with the book re-reading multiple sentences you'll eventually get the hang of it after some conditioning.

 No.218178

>>218108
Did I say I have a job?

 No.218180

>>217547
Ok so here is the thing I actually enjoy reading for pleasure. Now I mostly read fiction but I sometimes dabble in science, philosophy and history and I also enjoy mythology but keep in mind its like 85 percent fiction everything from classics to cheesy science fiction novels.

Anyway why I do find this enjoyable as a hobby and something fun I can honestly it really hasn't improved my life in any meaningful way other than the fact I am sometimes informed about certain things. But even with that information its mostly worthless because I am powerless and can do nothing with it.

Now I suppose if you can read things that are going to give you skills to get ahead in life such as learning about finance or investing or learning to code it might be helpful getting a career or moving up in one you already have. Aside from the fact that most the time you generally need a degree in that field even if you are self taught and know it really well.

So I kinda think the reading for self improvement is kind of a meme but perhaps at the very least you will find a new form of entertainment.

 No.218183

force yourself to read a chapter a day, i do this and eventunally i start enjoying a book

it took years though ;_:



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