[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ] [  Textboard ] [  Wiki ]

/dep/ - Depression

Depression
Email
Comment
File
Embed
Password (For file deletion.)

  [Go to bottom]   [Catalog]   [Return]   [Archive]

File: 1585687312516.jpg (78.33 KB, 950x633, 950:633, oq3io3yhpz811.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.217683

As a bit of a prologue to this topic. I sort of disturbed all these feelings up recently after learning a favorite youtuber of mine, who I thought was much, MUCH older, is actually currently 18 and started making passionate and amazing scientific research videos at just 14 years of age. And now with that aside…

How do you deal with the feeling, or really knowing, that you've basically thrown away your youth? Starting at 13 years old up until this very day, my only hobbies have basically been shitposting online forums and playing video games. I am currently 24 years old (I and can't even believe that, I could swear I was just 22 a few months ago and turned 18 just a summers back), I am diagnosed by my doctors as on the schizo-spectrum, and I have nothing to show for my life other than I graduated highschool with the lowest grades needed to graduate. For all intents and purposes I am basically an adult child - which I mean in a way of combining all the worst points of both, and leaving out any of the good parts.

Is anyone else in this same situation? What the hell is there to do? These days I have no real deep or compelling passions, I'm mostly just in a state of perpetual boredom, waiting for my mom or dad to come home and make dinner for me, trying to pass the time by watching documentaries, posting on chans, and playing the same shitty games I've been playing for a decade already. There is no conceivable way my life could get any better than what it is, and soon I will probably have to wageslave a mediocre job and then potentially in the long run just kill myself if things don't work out in any meaningful way. This life is atrocious, and I am a pathetic creature, it's as if the very forces of the universe were against me since day one. I'd loved to have grown up in a non-abusive household, or gone to a school where the kids didn't immediately crush your soul through merciless bullying. But sadly none of that was my fate, and now I'm just a broken man with a broken spirit.

 No.217685

starting to wonder if such posts are AI generated

 No.217689

>How do you deal with the feeling, or really knowing, that you've basically thrown away your youth?

I'm not stupid so I know there was no other way for me but to be this person, it's fate and I hate it but there's no other way around it. I did not throw away my youth. I'm not the one responsible. It's like putting blame on a small kid and that'd be unreasonable.

>Is anyone else in this same situation? What the hell is there to do?


Almost. I try to distract myself… The obvious things. Keep your mind occupied with something.

 No.217693

>>217689
>it's fate and I hate it but there's no other way around it.
let me ask, were your parents also young, stupid, and poor when they birthed you?

 No.217694

I guess people like me (and you, I assume) are addicted to being lazy the same way that people are addicted to drugs and alcohol. Meaning we have a very strong inclination to drift towards the path of least resistance and discomfort, so personally I end up spending all my time on masturbating, watching stupid Youtube videos, listening to music and doing other mind-numbing shit. Your Youtube-idol does not have this genetic predisposition to being lazy, so it's like comparing someone who suffers from alcoholism to someone who has no problem with staying sober. It is possible to be productive with this predisposition to laziness, but very difficult. Especially when you sit in a room by yourself and have access to infinite amonts of media just a mouseclick away.

 No.217696

What does that even mean 'wasted life'? You are living your life right now, this is life and if you expect anything different form it then you don't belong here. Life cannot be wasted it can only be lived. You are free to do whatever you want. Stop wasting your time with thinking how you have wasted your life. Because that indeed is a waste of time.

 No.217698

>>217683
To say that "you wasted your life" implies that there's some kind of objective meaning of life and some kind of purpose that every single human being MUST accomplish before dying.

Guess what? There's none of that shit your life will have the exact same ending than the youtuber and that every single human being in this planet,that is death,and when that happens who will care what your accomplishments were? maybe some people but that shouldn't affect you because you're dead,and even if his sons continue his work and keep his "legacy" alive that will end sometime too when the entire human race gets wiped off the earth (and that may happen soon thanks to corona chan…).

Imagine all the people from the past that are already dead,maybe some of them did great things,changed lives,lived happily,but does that even matter now? They're dead,completely forgotten,they can't experience shit anymore,all their lives are meaningless now regardless of what they did or how they lived.

So at the end why do you care about a "wasted life"? there's no such thing,life itself is meaningless,a small insignificant blip in the entire universe,just enjoy the best you can,nothing will matter at the end.

 No.217702

>>217698
"Any idiot can choose a frame of time within which nothing matters." -Jordan Peterson

 No.217703

"Wasted life" is the ultimate failed normie codeword.

 No.217704

>>217703
Being a failed normalfag is the epitome of a wasted life. True wizards love their life.

 No.217705

>>217702
nothing really matters though,not in this time of frame or any other.

Unless you're some kind of god that exists forever everything you do will go to the void eventually,

 No.217706

>>217705
What would be necessary in order for something to matter?

 No.217707

>>217705
You still have to life with the consequences, wizkid.

 No.217714

>>217704
It's less about being a failed normalfag and more that we suffer the consequences materially as bodies. If I was a ghost and I could just surf the web all day, that'd be pretty sweet. Instead it's always a looming sense of crisis and watching myself age rapidly. I am actually close to becoming a real wizard but it doesn't really feel like it's been so long since I was a kid. I don't feel grown up at all, but the consequences are real. I lost my health insurance a few years back because I turned 26 and it's been pretty grim to think about how things can only get worse as I age.

 No.217715

>>217714
That being said, I just see my particular birth/how my brain happened to turn out as being the waste. My parents while being far from great just weren't as dysfunctional as I happen to be, which is also a reason why this was never really addressed as a kid. They had no real way of understanding what exactly was going on with me since I'm not like anyone else I've encountered in the real world.

There's a guy in the neighborhood who is severely retarded as in he doesn't really have any real ability to articulate his thoughts and will just say "Hi have a nice day." He doesn't really know what's going on. For me, I know what's going on, but just being outside with people fills me with anxiety to a physical level at times. I can read and repeat words I read or hear and my memory is decent when it just comes to facts, but I can't do anything that involves a multi-step process without either bottlenecking or messing up somehow. My words come out slowly in person and I'm not often able to respond without hesitation. It's a huge gap between verbal IQ and performance IQ. I used to see it as me just being lazy and not applying myself, but when I actually did that, I would just achieve really suboptimal results for the time spent and fail in terms of the metrics people see as mattering when it comes to making money. The problem-solving ability/adaptability/skill-acquisition etc. other people have just isn't there. People would tend to see it as volitional since they knew I knew all this trivia that they didn't which wasn't really indicative of intelligence imo just long-term memory. For most people burying themselves in rabbit holes and learning about stuff that doesn't impact them in their daily activity is seen as a traditionally nerdy thing so they assume competence in all areas.

 No.217718

I see it as reparation for the life normies stole from me by putting me through 12 grades of schooling and college. Until I was 20 or so I had no idea I was even able to make my own choices in life and was just being railroaded through everything which is why I was always so unhappy. Basically stuck doing everything I never had the full time to do before which is essentially nothing. I feel robbed of my youth 10 years after college later because I never could put time into my hobbies. If i wasnt stuck in school I would at least try and attempt getting into game making or at least learn something that would benefit my current life as a neet. Too bad I was stuck in a hellhole with others full of stress about grades, homework and how parents viewed me instead of being an actual person. It takes at least 5 years of neeting to even unplug and another 5 to catch up on all the shit you missed the past 10-20 years. You dont even begin living until 30.

 No.217720

>>217705
your feeling of pain still matters
if not can you stab yourself?

 No.217771

>>217720
>if not can you stab yourself?
Yes you can. There are millions of self harmers, people regularly kill themselves in very painful ways like self-immolation, and it's part of being well-adjusted and happy to endure some pain for a worthwhile outcome, like doing exercise. Get over yourself with this myopic hedonism, ironically it's just causing you more suffering.

 No.217772


I have been dealing with the same feelings for at least ten years now. I became a very depressive teenager as I reached fourteen years old, from there to now things became increasingly worse. Until I was seventeen I tried desperately to find out some identity for myself, something that gave me some perspective of whom I am, who I should try to be and the meaning behind it all, but as I became seventeen something changed, I didn't really care anymore, I became something pale, blank, a living nothing. I am twenty five now, currently working at the only job I have ever had, a supermarket packer. I used to have these interests like history and philosophy, which I thought about all the time, but now everything is gone, it has been eight years since I gave a shit about these things, I simply don't care anymore, I have no energy to care. Spending the entire day in front of the computer lurking on chans is pretty much everything I do now, the only music I listen to is classical because it makes me comfortable, but I don't really listen or enjoy it. Well, I don't even have anything to say anymore, I am nothing.

 No.217785

File: 1585803761776.jpeg (423.28 KB, 2048x1620, 512:405, EDFA84BC-EB78-4E32-A322-A….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

If you have any concept of a “wasted life” (aka #FOMO) then you probably shouldn’t be on wizchan. I mean do you think most people’s lives aren’t wasted by necessity? Is there something dignified in all the time normalfags invest in forming sexual and social relationships, rather than pursuing a creative discipline? Do you regret not accomplishing anything? Who accomplishes anything? What constitutes an accomplishment anyway, something Chad Scheckelberg grants his assent with a certificate, trophy, payment or pat on the back? Everyone in the world is just trying to shove their head up their ass as far as it will go and ignore how terribly morbid life truly is. No wonder “cope” was created by nignogs, only they could be philosophically bereft enough to think that there is a way to live authentically without admitting you are coping with some part of this shit picture or another. As far as I’m concerned, the only life wasted is the one spent in opposition to one’s passions because they decided to play too many normalshit games. You’re on welfare? Good, take advantage of every benefit you can. The name of the game is to maximize your free time and then spend it doing what you like. I like Lego. Do you think I let normalfags, even my Dad, tell me its a toy for children? No, they are idiots who first off don’t understand the complexity of designing with Lego but even if it were a fucking See and Say, if what I wanted to do with my maximized free time was listen to animal sounds, why should I allow expectations of normalcy to slow me down? If you like video games play video games, don’t think of that gay meme where the guy is on his deathbed going “wow, sure glad I played all those video games”. Would you rather be the guy going “sure glad I had all those succubi and then I engaged in the blithe ultimate act of emotional predation known as procreation with some other succubi I liked a little more than the others and other people have to suffer abd die just because I am a selfish prick.” Because that’s exactly what the so called “well spent” life consists of and if you want that then you should fuck right off to robot 9000

 No.217786

File: 1585805363792.jpeg (31.85 KB, 267x400, 267:400, BA9A6910-F189-4849-9F2C-7….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

>>217702
“any idiot who quotes Juden Memerson on Wizchan should be banned with extreme prejudice”
— Me —

 No.217787

>>217704
Okay now this is horseshit. I might enjoy my life but I certainly don’t love it. True wizards hate their life not because their life is bad but because life itself is an arduous imposition nobody ought to suffer. Wizards just experience the malaise more intensely because they can’t trick their cavebrain into thinking they are adaptable by having a variety of experiences, and having the potential to mate. As I said before, everyone is lying to themselves in thinking life is equitable; it surely isn’t, especially if some shit like hell is real. Normalfags are the ultimate self-decievers.

 No.217790

>>217771
I asked *you*, not me, not others
can *you* stab yourself?

 No.217791

File: 1585809567056.gif (477.98 KB, 540x540, 1:1, 1585714935777.gif) ImgOps iqdb

>>217785
Good post. When these wizkids mention a "wasted life" you always have to wonder what they consider the opposite. It's always some milquetoast conception of normalhood i.e. fitting into what society expects and believes. They didn't go to enough high school parties, they didn't sleep with enough succubi, they haven't climbed the career ladder, they didn't leave a spawn or a little more subtly, they want to be good at some skill that society values. At the center of this "wasted life" is a sense of inferiority, that they are not doing what they are supposed to and what is expected and hence the endless anguish and uncertainty over their future. These are the type of people that have to write long melodramatic posts listing every failing they've had in order to justify their feelings and why they are not where they are supposed to be.

 No.217799

>>217785
This man needs a 3d printer

 No.217807

Now that you have a lot of answers, what do you have to say, OP?
Unless you're a mod generating copypaste shit for whatever fucking reason.

 No.217812

>>217790
Yes I can stab myself.

 No.217835

>>217785
I mean I'm just not good at anything. I wouldn't say it's entirely about social acclaim since a lot of people who were good at creative disciplines weren't recognized in their lifetime but had the purpose of doing their craft. When you're not good at anything that has an output, it gets pretty frustrating. Nothing ever works in a progressive cumulative fashion in terms of "improving" so to speak after a certain base level, the escalating ability just isn't there.

Coping isn't really anything new. It's just a psychological way to get people to accept their place in life when religion isn't enough anymore. I went to a psychologist about 15 years ago and when I made a lot of the complaints I had with my personal limitations, I was just told I need to work on my coping skills. She didn't want me to kill myself, so her solution for me was to cope with a subpar existence while she was making bank.

 No.217836

>>217835
>When you're not good at anything that has an output, it gets pretty frustrating
Only if you're brainwashed to belive you're supposed to be good at something and generally think of yourself as a hero of your own movie.

 No.217837

>24 years old
I feel like that's the median age on Wizchan, while the median age on 4chad is 19.

 No.217840

>>217836
What else is there really? Being a wagecuck automaton too busy digging ditches or restocking the shelves? I guess I am brainwashed but it doesn't really change anything. I'm acquainted with my experiences first and foremost so there's no reason to "give it up" and not see myself hero of my movie as that doesn't really go anywhere. Might as well be a heroin junkie at that point.

 No.217847

File: 1585861240769.jpeg (47.51 KB, 500x736, 125:184, F0E30912-D669-4AA7-8B1D-B….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

>>217835
Its not too late to get good at something anon. This was one of the earliest works Van Gogh made. He was 26.

 No.217848

>>217840
Why is having an unremarkable life so difficult for you? Of course you're brainwashed since you got raised by the TV to think that anything less than being the main character, le epic genius handsome hero guy isn't worth it. All the side-characters were portrayed as ugly resentful losers, so the only alternative in your mind is obviously some drone wageslave that's coping about not being as handsome/smart/skillful as the main character.

Realize that your life isn't a movie and that there is no consistent hero's journey narrative. Life has its ups and downs, it's mundane and unremarkable for most people and it doesn't need to be meaningful, it just is what it is. Stop freaking out you're not a CEO at 24. Oh god, imagine if you started CEO-ing at 8, you'd be a real wiz at it by now, better get the rope.

Honestly, in your position, I'd feel worse for not figuring out basic shit like this at 24. This is like teenager level insight, my wiz.

 No.217849

>>217847
talentmogs me

 No.217850

>>217848
I'm not 24. I'm even older and it's not even about being a main character. In this day and age I have more access to information and free time than historical people and the people who have to work 3 jobs a day, yet I'm entirely unable to capitalize on it be it either in the hero sense or the iconoclast sense of Van Gogh or even just a starving artist that's at least seeing some progress. It's just an endless ceding of ground as each thing I'd like to be able to do isn't feasible. I'm not good at learning anything.

It doesn't have any ups. It's just waiting until it's not sustainable with nothing to show for the time spent on earth. I'm not getting anything out of being alive, so the options are ultimately drug up to avoid it or die.

Do you actually think the average person is content getting nothing accomplished? They usually just pass their hopes onto their kids who they have usually accidentally because they just let their lives happen without any real meaning. I don't want to have sex or kids, so I'm avoiding that slice of hell. Still most people who get nowhere have the notion of "My existence will have been worth it if my kids have a better one." This whole casting of the lack of fulfillment/self-actualization as some sort of teenage thing doesn't really pass muster when it comes to how people actually think.

 No.217851

>>217850
Like I don't really know of anyone who is just like "yeah I'm going nowhere and it's cool." Most people who settled for unremarkable lives existed expected an otherwordly reward for their existence if it sucked. If you can't get anything out of life while you're alive, there's no point to being alive. Even the lego guy is getting something out of his time on earth even if it's ultra fringe. He knows he made something.

 No.217855

File: 1585908698452.jpeg (296.47 KB, 1200x1622, 600:811, alexander.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

Just define already what the hell you consider as a "remarkable life". This thread won't go anywhere until you give clear definitions.

Anyways, I'll just assume that you mean extra-ordinary or unusual or special in some way. Here's the deal: most remarkable men in history didn't start their career with the aim of being remarkable but they simply did what they were passionate about, whether it was politics, war, art, helping others, education, philosophy, science, etc. Being successful, famous, wealthy, influential or any other good things were only a side-effect of them living their lives according to their dreams and passions. If you have to sit down and agonize over "how to live a remarkable life" then you are already doing it wrong.
Find something you love doing or you are interested in. That is the only way. Experiment with things. Play with various possible interests and those you like you will keep naturally. Do things instead of thinking too much. Every life is a unique experiment. Yours too.
Nobody is holding you back, except you yourself. Start learning drawing or painting now. Or learn a new language. Or sit down and write a movie script. Or write a book. Or make a poem. Or just write down your thoughts like philosophers do. Or read about history, other people's achievements, memorize them like teachers and educators of humanity do, maybe your calling is to be a scholar. Or try out a sport, maybe you are a natural basketball player yet you don't know it because you never tried. Or start lifting weights and shape your body into a work of art. Or start singing or learn to play an instrument. Or go out and be a real life hero, a vigilante who patrols the streets and defends others. Or start robbing rich people, distribute their money to the poor and gather your band of criminals like Robin hood. Or go to freaking Africa and help those people who are less fortunate than you. Or kidnap your local politician and demand that universal basic income be introduced. Or get into politics and make your way up with your loyal followers like Caesar or Napoleon. Or organize a new religion/cult. Or be a Youtuber. The possibilities are endless, it is all about how much you are willing to sacrifice from your life to your goal. I'm not saying you will succeed definitely but you can only be a remarkable man if you try. Btw, I wrote this post as a hedonist who isn't really interested in big achievements.

 No.217856

>>217850
You seem to be generalizing your own experience too hard. It's inconceivable to you that many people are content with very little and indeed, have very little. Ah, but they're so inferior that they don't even know it! How can they live like that? I mean, they're not even in the 95th percentile of XYZ skill, how can they have respect for themselves? Realize that there is no consistent value system except for basic biological needs like food, shelter, safety etc. Everything else is basically learned through experience and to you, being a big shot seems super important.

You don't even have a particular goal so that you could say that you are an ambitious man, suffering because of his passions. You're a guy with an inferiority complex that just wants to be "good at something", for no other reason than to appease his inferiority. When you have that kind of psychological structure, you really do suffer in an unremarkable life. I guess you can't help but think the way you do. Blame your parents or the TV for raising you like that.

 No.217871

>>217850
Only compare against yourself, only measure your improvement in contrast to a past version of yourself. Stop caring about others, stop caring about social hierarchies, stop caring about online scoreboards, stop caring about the success of other people. Now doing something can be fun again, progress becomes realistic and fulfilling.

 No.217875

Imagine things going so well for you that the only way you can imagine anyone else being dissatisfied with life is that they are butthurt about not reaching the top.

 No.217877

>>217871
also clean your room

 No.217882

>>217840
>What else is there really?
Freedom from the frustration you mentioned.

 No.217884

>>217856
It doesn't really make any sense to be content with little unless you're a monk or some other ascetic. I've never encountered anyone who didn't want things to be better for them either in their own life and for their children. I don't think the 40 year olds working dead end jobs are like "this is worth it" in itself insofar they can think outside of bare survival. If some people are cool living in a proverbial barrel like Diogenes, that's great for them, but I'm not going to see it as incumbent on me to continuously draw down expectations until living in a barrel is good for me. That's just pointless.

>>217871

This is sort of the thing, I don't notice any progress on myself once I get a base level of knowledge. It doesn't get any better past a certain point.


I've had plenty of goals. They didn't work out. It's not about "needing to be good at something" it's about failing at the things I was interested in and constantly making no progress. It becomes more general after a certain point. I'm not really sure what the difference between an ambitious person and someone compensating for inferiority besides success. Plenty of successful ambitious people were compensating for some life experience.

>>217882

That isn't really freedom at all. End of the day, not making any progress from where you started is going to feel like shit unless you're coping via drugs, hope transfer, or whatever.

>>217875

Exactly. It sort of feels like people are expected to be happy treading water or even deteriorating when it makes zero sense to me.

 No.217886

File: 1585943000426.png (235.83 KB, 610x343, 610:343, cYHjKAI.png) ImgOps iqdb


 No.217887

>>217886
>not making any progress from where you started is going to feel like shit

 No.217894

>>217884
>It doesn't really make any sense to be content with little unless you're a monk or some other ascetic
It makes sense if you're unwilling to pursue your desires, which is true for many of the posters here. Choosing to do nothing and stew doesn't make sense. Either accept your current state or start taking action.

 No.217916

>>217884
That's what it's like for me. I'm lucky to even reach some minimal level at anything I do before going backwards at it, with most things I try I'm just stuck not being able to do them, at all, ever. There's nothing I'm better at now than I was 5 years ago, or 5 years before that, or even 5 years before that. The >don't compare yourself to others brah >just compare yourself to your past self brah >just be a man who takes action brah broadvice only makes things worse for me; everything I attempt is a constant reminder of all the past times that I failed at that thing, failed at everything else, and how have never been able to progress at anything I did.

 No.217918

>>217884
>I'm not really sure what the difference between an ambitious person and someone compensating for inferiority besides success.

It's not about the outcome, but the internal structure of motivation. One is motivated by the desire to succeed and prove himself as he sees himself, the other is motivated by a desire to escape humiliation, low self-worth and to appease others for his inferiority. On the outside, they might behave similarly by being driven to succeed, but its obvious the latter type suffers more and reacts to failure much worse because he is sensitive to any inadequacy and any imperfection. Both can be successful, but even success is experienced differently, as there is always the possible danger that others will see through your mirage, that you'll be outed as a failure and the latter type cannot even enjoy his successes for long.

It seems that you still don't get it. There's internal factors that influence how you experience the world, other people and how you interpret it. People can have radically different value systems and the way they experience something abstract like "achievement" and "failure" isn't biologically hard-wired, but mostly learned through their early life experiences. The two choices aren't being a hypersocial high-achieving norman and being a rotting corpse. Being "good at something" is just another value, like caring about being pretty or physically strong. Some people aren't driven by having their name on the high-score board or their relative superiority to others. Skill is mostly a consequence of meaningful engagement. An artist might be driven to express some internal experience, a programmer might want to get lost in the flow of complex systems etc. And if the only way to meaningful engage with an activity is through an internal sense of needing to be "good at something", you won't stick with these goals long enough to develop anything.

>not making any progress from where you started is going to feel like shit


It does, for you. Because that's the only thing you care about. You're hyper vigilant towards failure and that's what you notice at every step.
Even if you find something you're instantly good at, you'll still reach a plateau at some point, no one makes progress every day.

 No.217921

>>217918
good stuff
"the fake it till you make it" meme seems to be something that some don't really get
like my parents

 No.217922

>>217894
>Either accept your current state or start taking action
Or don't, because despite your claims, it does make sense.
Human behavior operates on logical problem solving. No amount of frustration at how imperfect we are will ever change that we're making perfectly logical decisions based on the circumstances we have. And this perfectly logical decision can easily be choosing to do nothing and stew. In fact it could even lead to greater happiness than both of the other proposed actions. Because nothing is ever as straightforward as "just becoming an ascetic".

 No.217924

>>217918
Why can't you understand that being unskilled and unable to get better is frustrating regardless of your "values" behind doing it? Your reason for wanting to do something doesn't determine your ability and doesn't magically immunize you against frustration from being bad at it.
An "artist" who can't draw a straight line never gets to the point of expressing anything; a "programmer" who can't write any code never "gets lost in the flow of complex systems", etc.
Maybe you could start to see it if you weren't so caught up in trying to twist everything back to an accusation of trying to impress normals.

 No.217925

>>217924
I'm unskilled and unable to get better - and i don't feel any frustration since i understood how stupid everything is.

 No.217928

>>217683
I don't know how to deal with it. I'm just forcing myself to do the opposite of what i've been doing all this time, and doing things that are 'good' logically. Motivation doesn't last for long when you are stuck in same ways for your entire life. To do something else than wasting away on the internet I have to switch from hedonism to useful oriented life.

 No.217974

>>217683
I dont know the world suck, think we all throught it would get better as we aged. I think I thought I was a hero from a movie waiting to happen, but it dont happen I hate this world I wish it was like better I want to be normal, I wasteed my life I dont know if anything matter, it like why do i wake up and eat what is the point of anything

 No.217980

"The whole of living that we see before our eyes today is from inmost to outmost enmeshed in repressional mechanisms, social and individual; they can be traced right into the tritest formulas of everyday life. Though they take a vast and multifarious variety of forms, it seems legitimate to at least identify four major kinds, naturally occuring in every possible combination: isolation, anchoring, distraction and sublimation." - Peter Wessel Zapffe

Coping mechanisms.
Glib summary of the four:
Isolation: Just deny the abyss. Just stop being depressed bro.
Anchoring: Religion. Ideology. Obsess over an ideal, some arbitrary or imagined good. Invent or have foisted upon you a point of light to blot out the abyss.
Distraction: Video games, reading, movies, anime, any shadowplay to shift focus away from the abyss.
Sublimation: This guy -> >>217785

full text: https://philosophynow.org/issues/45/The_Last_Messiah

 No.217983

>>217683
Do you feel like you wanted to be born on this planet? If not, how can you waste something you didnt ask for?

 No.217987

>>217772
Sounds solid to me. I think you do better than most people.

 No.217988

>>217877
LOL, in fact I wrote this because I played trackmania for over a decade and I'm still basically pretty bad compared to other players in relation to the time invested but when I drive against my personal bests it is still fun for me without making any serious progress, without learning to become better in terms of getting on a professional level. I don't care too hard if I actually beat my personal bests but it's cool if I do and it's possible without putting any real effort into it because all I do is playing the game for myself, not too get world record times. It's relaxing with a sort of self competition that's not stressful, rather a nice to have kind of thing, makes me okay this game for maybe another decade without making much progress. Maybe I'm just autistic, whatever.

 No.217989

I dont give a fuck about wasting my life
life and people are full of crap anyways just enjoy the ride brother

 No.217994

File: 1586105627827.jpg (11.3 KB, 255x227, 255:227, chaoticneutralneet.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>217791

Yes.. but really no

My true will is to not exist, yet because of survival instincts i do my best to achieve to secondary will, avoidance of suffering.

> I suffer when i try to adapt to the ideals of others

> I suffer when i am left alone in a vacuum of no accountability.

Yet i am not braindead enough to become an NPC, maybe bashing my head against the wall will fix that

I exist in the dead centre between doing anything to change my situation and walking into the nearest lake with sand-filled boots

Sometimes i really marvel at the Supreme Creators ability to design my life just enough to keep me hanging on, but still make me aware of this fact.

Give me enough motivation to explore my inner psyche, but ramp up the anxiety to a point that i am unwilling to engage with the hard.

 No.217996


 No.217997

File: 1586106789914.jpg (82.68 KB, 640x640, 1:1, 1583863772424.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>217994
Is there truly anything external to you causing this suffering? Does other people's disapproval cast such a strong light ray that it burns your eyes? Do you get beaten down to a pulp every time you fail? Your pain is entirely self-inflicted through automatic, unconscious ways of being. When someone insults you or puts you down, you cannot be hurt by text rendered on the screen unless you yourself take is a command to strike yourself. Similarly, your mommy telling you that you're a really smart boy is again, just another command, permission to allow yourself to feel OK about yourself.

You mention NPCs but you are a slave par excellence. Get some fucking insight.

 No.218028

>>217997
I gave the opportunity for discussion

Instead you wanted to be retarded and throw insults

Poor display

 No.218034

>>217997
If their insults are true why shouldn't they hurt?

 No.218039

>>218034
And how does an objective fact hurt you? Transferred to you as a piece of text over the Internet or even orally transmitted, the stimuli cannot possibly cause you any pain. The pain is entirely self-inflicted and the insult is just a command, a reminder for you to do it. It's the result of being an automaton, an unconscious slave, believing it is actually the supposed state of the world that's hurting you when in fact it's something you learned to do at a specific cue, like a trained dog. There are those that understand this and can cause you to self-destruct with a dozen commands and then tell you that you're special, a good boy and pull you by the nose the other way.

Think about what an "achievement" actually is. It's a completely abstract concept, a recognition from others that serves as permission for you to feel good about yourself. How can you feel OK about yourself if you haven't gotten laid and made a succubus happy? You have absolutely zero talents and skills, you should kill yourself because you do not have our permission to live. Disapproval from others is just a signal. It's even more ridiculous when it's internalized and you learn to expect the signal before it even comes.

It's funny to me when a person like that mentions "braindead NPCs" when he himself is an automaton self-flagellating himself daily, desperately trying to escape the signal instead of taking control of his own hand.

>>218028
And a beep-boop to you as well, fellow automaton.
Have you noticed, by chance, that you are a loser?
And a virgin? Oh boy, you haven't even kissed a succubus.
Oh, and are those…stick figures? You can't even render the female body completely from memory and you've been practicing for…two years?
*snicker*
Hey, remember spending prom night playing video games?
Remember when you hoped and fantasized for like a week that someone might notice you and ask you out?
Remember when you went to that interview and HR told you that there was a mistake and your application just made it on the wrong pile?
Remember that you still live with your parents at 24?
Remember how much more successful your school mates are? Even that weird kid found a gf and streams on twitch making big bucks.

Here's an exercise for you: count the amount of cues here and tell me how you should feel and behave.

 No.218048

>>218039
Of course such reminders are unpleasant. There's no reason why they wouldn't be when, as you state, they are the objective facts about you. What is achieved by trying to reject the truth? That's the thing about the truth; even when hiding from it it's always there.

 No.218060

>>218039
>The pain is entirely self-inflicted and the insult is just a command, a reminder for you to do it. It's the result of being an automaton, an unconscious slave, believing it is actually the supposed state of the world that's hurting you when in fact it's something you learned to do at a specific cue, like a trained dog

Yes, because the conditioned dog decides himself that he wants to react the way he does, it certainly can't have anything to do with determinism.

 No.218062

>>218048
The truth isn't what's causing you to suffer. You can be objectively inferior in every manner and still not feel bad about it if you don't take that as a cue to make yourself suffer. This doesn't mean burying your head in the sand or destroying all values or cleverly manipulating the meaning of a situation. It's really about gaining awareness over your programming and dissolving it by understanding your own mechanical nature. It happens implicitly and fast enough for you to never question the origin of your experience.

Psychological pain is not physical pain and there's a whole gap between perceiving something (like a cue, something abstract like "not being good enough") and the resulting experience of pain. Most people have no awareness of this gap and believe that an insult can actually cause pain.

>>218060
It's learned so it can be unlearned. There is no hard-wired circuit for the pain you feel when I call you a "retard" in several languages. Sometimes I don't even have to say it but I can create an abstract cue that sends you the same message and you'll experience the same butthurt repeatedly.

Determinism is a fitting philosophy for an automaton. Carry on beep-booping.

 No.218070

>>218062
It does not hurt me when you call me a retard, actually it's you who is making a fool of himself here.

 No.218090

I just live with it I guess. Years of untreated mental issues and apathy have almost made me a shell. It's so weird to think about how I was a teenager at some point.

 No.218092

>>218039
>Remember when you hoped and fantasized for like a week that someone might notice you and ask you out?
succubus tier

 No.218104

>>218062
What good is achieved by trying to change your feelings while the bad conditions that cause them persist?
> Psychological pain is not physical pain
Of course it is. Everything that happens in the brain is physical, which is why it is felt the same way as physical pain and why prolonged psychological pain causes physical injury to the brain.

 No.218115

>>218104
Various things are only 'bad' because they cause pain. If you ignore hunger you'll eventually die, but if you consider the consequences of various modern and social problems, they become meaningless once you remove the pain element which essentially forces you into a rational trap. The people in this thread cannot escape the concept of a 'wasted life' because it causes pain, the same way a crab can't escape virginity, low sexual market value and what not. But they would undeniably suffer less without that pain and would likely find the concept meaningless without it.

Nobody's denying that psychological pain is a physical process, dumdum. It's just that the actual causality isn't stimuli -> response like regular pain, but there's a whole gap where a person can intervene and disrupt various automatic processes through self-awareness. At some point, you learned this pain and it becomes like an electric fence that carves out a path for you, making you think, feel and ultimately behave a certain way. But it's not like a needle piercing the skin, it's much more arbitrary and the result of early conditioning.

>>218092
Some succubi are aware that you can destroy or build up a man with a single sentence. Can't blame them for abusing cultural conditioning for profit or just shits and giggles. But they also end up as homicide victims of a lot of male impotent rage, so I guess it evens out.

>>218070
That was really convincing. Were you shaking while typing that? You even saged so I wouldn't see your post right away, delaying the absolute asshurt I could lay upon you with a few sentences.

In all seriousness, reply to my actual points, coward.

 No.218117

File: 1586245098358.jpg (20.9 KB, 257x387, 257:387, The Peaceful Pill Handbook.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>217683
Unironically just commit suicide. Even if you do somehow make it, the scant rewards of this human lifetime are not worth the boredom, malaise, anxiety, shame, pain, absurdity, and loathing that people like us have to live with on a regular basis.

 No.218122

>>218115
Since it's a physical process I can't control it any more than I can control anything else my body does, like deciding to have dermatitis on its skin or to fuck up its metabolism. The brain is self-programming in response to external stimuli; since I can't control anything that comes from external sources that puts it out of my control.

 No.218126

>>218115
The way you write about succubi makes me suspect that a) you are one, b) you fuck them c) you care about them. Either of these three assumptions make you an outsider. Just leave already.

 No.218151

>>218115
>Some succubi are aware that you can destroy or build up a man with a single sentence
truly foid tier reasoning

 No.218547

I feel the same, everyone is moving and changed, but me, I'm still same…

 No.218633

>wasted life
>I am currently 24 years old

 No.219103

>>217685
We are also known as robots, so not much difference, aren't we?

 No.219167

>>219166
I don't really regret anything but the fact that I am expected to be a real adult when I don't feel 30 is what sucks.

 No.220174

>>217855
I like this post

 No.220176

>>218117
When the pain outweighs pleasure suicide is all you can think about. I find relief for about two seconds then just back into the pit, fuck this.

 No.220180

File: 1589294854289.jpg (168.84 KB, 1280x720, 16:9, ramen cuckface.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>217855
That's good advice and all, but realize that the vast majority of people are too lazy/tied into bad habits that they won't possibly do anything remarkable, laziness is a cancer and our brains are more than willing to compromise. Also, don't recommend criminal behavior to anyone, ever. You won't get away with crime. Prisons and jails are full of uneducated gangsters who worship the succubus and eat even shittier foods than we do.

 No.220198

>>217696
how the fuck is spending your life thinking about how you're wasting your life worse than any other way then?

 No.220204

Don't get why op is so demonized in this thread just because he's dissatisfied with his life, objectively he got nothing. What the fuck is wrong with this site ? Living an "unremarkable" life generally comes with a few perks to compensate : relationships, kids, feeling accepted and even religion. Take these from normies and most of them would kill themselves within a month, so the deluded know-it-all relativistic crowd here should shut the fuck up, i doubt you had to deal with a very sub-par job for a longer time or social ostracisation that, for the record, won't even let you have that "unremarkable life" without it's lot of torments when you ask for nothing more than peace, it's hell. By the way i didn't see op claiming anywhere that he'd like to become the next Tesla, he'd just probably like to have a modest vocation or something and there is nothing wrong with that. It's also logical to be even more attracted to that idea for a loner/introvert and it doesn't neccesarily stems from a feeling of "inferiority" contrary to what your ape brain thinks.

>>217683
Just act on your feelings and start doing things, you have every right to feel this way but what you do with your time and your level of discipline depends on you. It's much harder to be productive with your time when you're alone and with years of regret behind so you must get to that feeling of having agency despite of it all. Waking up early is very important for this, do some exercises to clear your mind and sleep better. During your free time prefer reading books or sometimes watching movies over browsing the internet because it's the worst poison. You'll probably feel better about yourself in no time.

 No.220207

>>220204
>it doesn't necessarily stems from a feeling of "inferiority" contrary to what your ape brain thinks.

It takes an "ape" not to be able to read between the lines. His post reeks of self-pity and inferiority. The deliberate vagueness is there to avoid breaking the rules, but it's clear that he's suffering because he sees himself as a loser. Not because he hasn't achieved whatever goals he set for himself (because he said he has no "passions"), but because he's missed the mark, couldn't jump the low societal bar of having sex and regular employment or whatever is the required achievement(s) to be able to have self-respect these days.

There is likely nothing physically wrong with OP and since he has enough capacity to ponder abstract bullshit like this so he's not a mongoloid. The only barrier for him is emotional, call it "inferiority" or being "le introvert", it doesn't matter.

 No.220209

>>220207
>His post reeks of self-pity and inferiority. The deliberate vagueness is there to avoid breaking the rules, but it's clear that he's suffering because he sees himself as a loser

No shit it's hard to have a different life, not performing basic human functions like socializing or having an extremely poor in events/achievements existence, especially after being a NEET becomes debilitating and boring and reality hits hard. I wonder why a good third of the main banners of this site are sad and miserabilistic and why it has a depression board in the first place if you can't be sad without being viciously attacked for it.

>Not because he hasn't achieved whatever goals he set for himself (because he said he has no "passions"), but because he's missed the mark, couldn't jump the low societal bar of having sex and regular employment or whatever is the required achievement(s) to be able to have self-respect these days.


Op being lazy and never finding a passion or clear goals doesn't neccesarily imply that he's a crab. I agree that there can be a connection between wanting to individually succeed at something and being abnormal in other parts of life, there is compensation but that's ok and it doesn't make op bad. "Compensation" is badly viewed because of the small dick meme but overall it's a pretty normal phenomenon, not necessarily related to some deep psychological reasons. A normie construction worker can support his job because having a strong social support makes him more resilient to the work charge and being already valued by others he feels good doing what he do. A solitary and kinda neurotic person would neet something quieter and a bit more rewarding because of a weak social support. Op is disgusted that he wasted all these years during which he could work on himself and on hypothetical goals in order to feel more secure in his own head which is perfectly understandable.

 No.220211

>>220198
I wrote that post and now I see how stupid it is. Was probably in a weird mood or something. I don't know why, I am a very unstable person and however I feel in a given moment affects how I think about things. Normally pessimism is a constant though so that post sticks out even to me.

 No.220212

File: 1589376082983.jpg (44.16 KB, 780x439, 780:439, the-wizquisition.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

Such an awful fucking thread and one that I immediately regret skimming through. And these days, they're almost all like this. Chock full of ridicule and contempt dished out by smug cunts LARPing their own brand of "truwizardry", which usually constitutes being either some hyper egoist, hyper individualist, hyper ascetic, hyper stoic, hyper hedonist, or mentally/emotionally castrated, ditch dwelling monk. I'm not saying that the OP shouldn't get his priorities in order at least as far as how he views himself, but the overwhelmingly smug dismissal of this sort of thing, on fucking /dep/ of all places, is just nauseating as hell. Certain people, of the type of I've just described, are honestly, in their own way, just as bad as normals. Just as smug and just as full of themselves. Instead of admonishing other wizzies for being too "whiny" all the time and just as often calling them out for being too "weak" to follow through with their desired suicide, why don't the lot of you actually go take a leaping swan dive onto a sharp, rusty gate, instead? You're not an empty zombie like the rest of us wizzies you seem to despise so much and are thus clearly more equipped for it, so go ahead. At least then you'll all be dead and I won't have to see your stupid fucking trash here anymore as I rot and wait for death myself, as a meek depressive with low willpower/self-esteem, which is something that I'm sure would continue to trigger you even as you're bleeding to death on said rusty gate.

>>217924

>Why can't you understand that being unskilled and unable to get better is frustrating regardless of your "values" behind doing it? Your reason for wanting to do something doesn't determine your ability and doesn't magically immunize you against frustration from being bad at it. An "artist" who can't draw a straight line never gets to the point of expressing anything; a "programmer" who can't write any code never "gets lost in the flow of complex systems", etc.


Exactly. Assuming the OP is truly without talent or ability, then there's simply nothing he can do about it. To say that someone like that should, as some smug cunts in here have, be satisfied not being able to make the bare minimum level of progress required to develop a craft and, what's more, that they should simply be happy in their inability to even drawn a straight fucking line and that if they're not, well this just means they're envying all the normals above them, the little failed in-cel normies that they are. Imagine being so pigheaded and up your own self-deluded ass that not adhering to batshit insane nonsense like this is grounds enough to dismiss someone as being nothing more than a failed normie. This site really has hit peak jackass. The best advice for someone like OP is to simply bear the thoughts he has and to cope in however way possible. Endure them as they come, or distract yourself, if possible, with something else. Assuming he has no talent or ability, this is basically all he can do. If he's fortunate, then these thoughts will simply diminish over time to such a point where one barely even notices them anymore.

>Maybe you could start to see it if you weren't so caught up in trying to twist everything back to an accusation of trying to impress normals.


That's literally what at least half of this thread boils down to. Smug cunts with a more "Wizlier than thou" attitude on their usual witch hunts trying to burn at the stake anyone that doesn't meet their self-absorbed, inquisitorial standards for what the conduct or acceptable thought processes of how a "proper" wizard should be.

 No.220217

i dont even care now i am numb to everything. i realise i am not smart enough to excel at any job or earn a lot, and will just end up working in my dad's business most likely, when he finally gets sick of me leeching off him.

 No.220246

>>220212
The hypocrisy in this post is delectable

 No.220256

>>220246

Not really, since these other people I'm referring to often go out of their way to mock and deride users like OP whom are simply looking for some sympathy and understanding. They make a sport out of chastising wizards like OP with their obnoxious bullshit while often calling depressed wizards failed normies or pathetic weaklings. This happens in nearly every thread on /dep/ these days. As long as users like OP aren't bringing up females or >tfwnogf type stuff, they shouldn't be the recipient to this kind of hostility or condemnation. Especially not in /dep/ of all places. Not that, that justifies all the rampant callousness on other boards towards depressed wizards. Is it hypocritical for calling the people who unprovokedly spit in the face of other wizards like OP the stuck-up assholes that they are, while also given that they're almost always the ones who are constantly on the attack in most threads? Calling me stuck-up because I call out demonstrably stuck-up people is just ridiculous. That's like the strung-up guy in my pic calling out his inquisitors for being judgemental lunatics and them saying, "Ah, but here you are judging us now. What a hypocrite you are!", when he's the one who's tied up and being dressed down by these fucks. I'm not telling them how to live their lives, just that they should stop mockingly telling other wizards in vulnerable positions how to live theirs based on their own asinine and up their own ass criteria. People like this would feel right at home on a place like in-cel tears and this is what they've effectively reduced most of wizchan to, in their attempts to purge what they see as unwizardly. Assuming they're not just normalshit tourists from there looking to troll and have a laugh at some other poor wizard's expense, which I'm sure some probably are.



[Go to top] [Catalog] [Return][Post a Reply]
Delete Post [ ]
[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ] [  Textboard ] [  Wiki ]