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/dep/ - Depression

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File: 1589672641514.jpg (485.1 KB, 848x566, 424:283, therapist.jpg) ImgOps iqdb


Hi Team,
I need help healing whatever is going on inside of me that is making me have these thoughts:

- I have fantasies (not anything that would ever be manifested in reality) about people I am in disharmony with meeting an untimely death. Even by a hitman's hand.
- I feel extremely happy and relieved when terrible things happen to people that are too successful and not helping me, especially when I feel like they are a part of my peer group or network even in a very extended way
- I want to shame and defame or see it brought upon people who I am either envious or jealous of, and take pleasure in their downfall
- When good things happen to people, I sometimes become very angry and wish for them to fall from grace
- I lie to people or twist the truth so they think more highly of me
- I lie about others to make them seem lesser and myself greater
- When I feel that someone has betrayed me I want bad things to happen to them, I do not want them to succeed, I want to see them suffer

What do I do? It's poisoning me to keep noticing these thoughts and have them eat away at my better nature!


Expect the best in people, and when they fuck you over just accept as the human nature and feel fine because you did your part.


just be nice and help people when you have nothing to gain (you gain rapport with them though)
thoughts are thoughts bro


It seems like narcissism in some capacity. I may be wrong, but still. Either way, find out why you have those feelings. From there, find ways to can fix them.


I can't really say, I'm also not that good. I love no one, and if for some reason I start to do so, I can easily lose this feeling in a matter of minutes. I have no empathy at all with people and sometimes I have an absolute urge and desire to kill, torture, etc. Sometimes I even get excited with it, I could spend hours daydreaming those thoughts and if it is about people I disgust or children the feeling just gets better. I hate this, they make me unstable. I know damn well I'm just at one pretty fucked up day away to become a true beast in my view. I'm naturally evil. Probably the blame is on my parents, dad's a sociopath and mom's a narcisistic borderline bitch who messed up with my mind while I was still a kid. If I somehow manage to become a serial killer I'll make sure to have her as my first victim.

It's almost ironical because I'm extremely polite and gentle among people and even sometimes give money for homeless if they ask me while I'm at the street. Guess I just learned how to put up a good act and to not let those thoughts consume myself.


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"You're a crab Harry"


OP here, I'm going to try and better understand how narcissm works and see if i can hopefully unravel mine! What a nightmare!!!!


Beware of the thought and simply don't identify your thought as a part of you, but simply part of your ego.


Sounds like textbook narcissistic personality disorder, except as a wiz you probably lack social skills and good looks so you can't get a narcissistic supply network and you usually don't get your way.

You're at least self-aware so you're miles ahead of the usual narc. There's no real way to get out of it since your entire self and world view organized around proving your superiority and as you put it, "better nature", even this thread. Maybe try becoming genuinely humble by revealing your short-comings to other people outside of the Internet.


seems like you're a human alright. That's how humans feel. Especially when you've been rejected/bullied by society, you will have negative feelings towards it.


Everyone has darkness inside them. Integrate your shadow and accept that you are a human. Just do what you feel like doing. Thoughts are just thoughts, there is no need to feel guilt over them


This is very insightful. I will try to be more upfront about my flaws to others IRL on the rare occasions I am around others. I will also look into other strategies to cultivate humility. It's possible that I am still approaching these solutions with from the standpoint of a narcissist, but I have to work with what I've got and hopefully something will change at a deeper level for the good.


Why bother limiting yourself?
Harness your evil nature for maximum gain


what if you or someone important to you became one of his victims?


The law of the jungle prevails over all


How niggardly


This thread honestly should be in /wiz/


It's almost like wizchan got hijacked by negroes.
>Child abuse is good
>You should be able to kill anyone
>Do what you want nikkuh

Tired of these wizkids philosophizing and most of these threads should be on /wiz


It just turd world shitters pretending to be nignogs when they’re are nignogs themselves


That doesn't mean what you think it means
So being in your nature animal state is a negro trait? So what are you doing then?
We are animals whether you like it or not.
We dominate each other, kill, rape and even worse things to each other, but most of that is reserved for the very wealthy to indulge in.
Most of your moralising is just cope


Truthfully I do not bother anymore. I did the right thing as much as possible for decades and it got me nowhere. I may not go out of my way to be an asshole even now and I am generally polite to people who are polite or decent to me or strangers ive just met. But after that fuck everything else. Not going to care about the world anymore and try to make it a better place. If an opportunity comes for me to get ahead by tossing someone I don't care about under the bus then I may do so.

there is nothing wrong with being nice or kind if you simply want to. But at the end of the day nice guys finish last and I have zero desire to be a doormat ever again for the scum in this society.


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I feel like the real distinction when it comes to "good" and "evil" is that you don't desire harm or suffering to anyone who didn't hurt you directly and intentionally if you want to be a good person. It is fine to hate and want revenge on those who wronged you, it is natural, no matter what some ultra-moralists may say. But causing harm and hating those who didn't even know that you existed is just senseless cruelty. That is why school shooters/spree killers are idiots most of the time, instead of getting back at those who bullied them directly they just kill anyone they come across.

In short: An eye for an eye mentality is a healthy self-defense mechanism that ironically can prevent more intense forms of cruelty and destruction.


So I'm going to assume that killing them with kindness is not realistic? Why is it so predominantly espoused then? I hear so many people say that it actually works…But it hasn't for me.


OP’s problem is that he’s an asshole, it so much that others are assholes to him. Who’s he supposed to kill with kindness, himself?


Pseudo Christians strikes again. You whites wished your religion was Islams but you got cucked by jews with Christianity kek’d. enjoy your hypocrite teachings you christcucks


Had Christianity not been embraced by teutons it would not have developed the dissonant mindset proper of these "peoples". If anything Christianity needs more joos. Wy pipo are replaceable and their elites (based hierarchies!) prove this on a daily basis.


I know it doesn't mean that. It's still pretty niggerish, dumbass.


>how do I become a normalfag
Not the place to ask, in my opinion


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I fail to see how the feeling described in the picture makes one's soul inferior. If the claim is that the man who achieves his goals is superior to those who don't, I'd understand, but how can the conformist underachiever be better than the underachiever who rebels against the world? At least the latter achieves sincerity to himself.


>I fail
Say no more, you already got it right


You sounds like a wizkid, what, did mr.brownie steal your lunch money again?
Have an actual discussion or cry moar about how there are brown people in the world and that upsets you


So you want everyone on this site to be your therapist and focus on your problems for free. Seriously, you really are a narcicisst.


Ok Jewish cucked enjoy your cope.


Crab is condescending and easy way to look down on behavior.

Goals are like sisyphus pushing the boulder up a hill only for it to fall, the victim mentality is slave sysphus resentment for circumstance not being good at their plight enving internally the master and wanting the world to perish is just omnicjdal pessimism jts the inverse of subjective suffering and deprivation leading to projected suicide for his willful punishment. Dont pat yourself on the back, for calling out his lack of commitment ask yourself is the world worth me pushing this boulder up , youre just chasing happiness like the omnicidal slave.


And what you are doing? To act like you have the answers is folly


The greatest thing humans can do, sublimate, mechanical work without end is folly.


It's just the usual Nietzschean shit that gets paraded around on here, even though failing and being pissed off is a normal reaction. Very few people including Nietzsche himself aren't spiteful towards others if they feel screwed. Important to remember that he got burned by Lou Salome and lusted after Cosima Wagner. He also always was upset when he felt his work didn't get proper attention, so the whole "envy/resentment is bad" "eternal return" etc. were just coping mechanisms because the alternative is to be in constant emotional agony in addition to physical agony.


Nein, the alternative is raising yourself
out of your resentment for others and sorting yourself out by taking on responsibility voluntarily.


>one's soul inferior
I hate it when people starts arguing using vague terms like soul, superior or whatever. How would you measure the superiority of one's soul? Why would your method for measuring it be valid and apply to everybody? I am dumb and don't read books but I can at least tell you're using undefinable, emotional experiences as basis for your arguments. Revolving your personality or philosophy around emotions or romanticism isn't necessarily wrong since it's an important part of ourselves but if you're going to argue to enter discussion with other people, using vague terms based on subjective experiences will just makes you talk past each other.

>At least the latter achieves sincerity to himself

And how would you tell it is only the rebel who have achieved sincerity? What if one desire humility and passivity instead? I hope you're not one of those people who believe there is an objective standard to which everybody's experiences and desires can be compared to in order to determine their validity. Just because you find meaning in rebellion or being a child soldier in the middle ages doesn't mean people can't live fulfilling lives doing clerical work and whatnot.


How absurd


A lot of people have a psychological profile like this. It makes me want to fucking vomit.

At least you're self-aware.


Have you got your humanity back yet? If morality is not innate within you, how do you ever hope of acquiring it?

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