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 No.220912

I've been using the internet for close to 2 decades now and for me there's never been a moment where I've actually enjoyed and felt comfortable online. I've never made any friends, never been apart of any communities, (unless you count this one, but it hardly amounts to much for me), and I've never had any good times using it whatsoever. Even from a non-social angle, the internet has never been anything special to me. I have to say that I honestly feel like I'm a complete universe apart from anyone who can actually recall times of enjoying the internet or those who can even just regularly speak their minds online without fear or hesitation. For me, I've never known or been capable of either of those things. It's a combination of being too incapable of handling hostility, being too reluctant to feel at home anywhere, and being too out of touch and tired to know what to say people. For the last couple years now it's gotten really frustrating not having anything I can enjoy or find solace in online. No welcoming chatrooms, no internet buddies, and no stomach or desire for just shitposting at random either.

I feel paralyzed by my own autistic fragility and sense of cluelessness about how to engage with other people, which has only deepened and grown worse with time. I feel desperate for something to call my own, but I lack the sort of innate compass, internal strength or energy to just even put myself out there and engage with others. I also just have no idea of where to go. I sit here each day and I don't have the slightest fucking idea of where to go. I'm so damn out of it that I haven't the faintest idea of where I could even go just try to get to know and befriend other people. Even if I knew, I'd feel overwhelmed being in a chatroom or even just accepting another person's friend request. Let's say I do. Then what would we do? Talk? Talk about what and for how often? Would we share life stories, or just blab about surface level stuff? Would we do other things together, or would we just message each other until the person bailed out of disinterest? All of these things, I just don't know what to do. It's all like trying to learn a foreign language to me, yet my body screams at me each day for some kind of meaningful human engagement. I feel like I could maybe get by if I could just feel comfortable, free and irreverent to the bullshit of others while online and just say whatever I want whenever I want, but I can't even do that. Mostly because I lack the energy for such things and also because I'm too much of a pansy to regularly speak my mind without concern of reprisal from others.

Just what the fuck is someone like me supposed to do when I've never been able to even actualize myself while online? How the fuck can other people do what they do in this sense, whether they're normal or abnormal? I just don't get it. The internet has never been my sanctuary and, in a lot of ways, I've felt just as lost and vulnerable while using it as when I've had to navigate the real world, which I actually haven't done for over a decade now. I've never understood why I'm so self-conscious, hesitant and even anxious online, versus others where these sorts of things don't apply to them, except maybe for in real life, and they're so relaxed online that they'd even post about the swollen boils on their ass just for something to do and would either relish or be indifferent to whatever the reaction is. It doesn't really feel fair that this is the case for me. Not at all, since in the end I was denied both the real world and even the online world as well. I've always had nothing and to this day I've been left with nothing. Shit.

I have to wonder just how many other people, wizards or not, who are as fucked as I am in this sense. I know there are plenty of people here and elsewhere who are the exact opposite to me and in the likely event you happen to be one of them, well, good for fucking you. Be grateful you're not like me, I guess. As bad as life might have been to you in other areas, at least you managed to feel free and easy while online. Where I'm at, being weak of mind and spirit to this kind of extent where you can't even feel comfortable online or have any energy to engage, is honestly the ultimate curse of all.

 No.220915

You're better off this way. I used the internet as a way to escape from being a piece of shit irl(low IQ/ugly/short/etc.) and reality sets in and the kid you were becomes an ugly motherfucker turning 30.

In terms of talking about problems with less inhibition, that would have been easier before the internet became intertwined with real life, but on the internet you get as much shit for being a loser as you would in the real world. It can be pretty brutal.

 No.220920

personally i just use the internet for playing games online, watching anime and porn, lurk imageboards and streaming music. basically that is what internet is all about, have you tried these already ?

 No.220928

it used to be an escape now its just reality. yes there is no where to go for oldcels, we are all fucked.

 No.220975

>>220912
It depends on how you want to use the Internet. It's great for (solitary) entertainment and information.

If you seriously want to use it as a substitute for social contact then just like in real life you have to participate in the social game. Follow the rules, learn the lingo that's hip at a given time, represent certain values, learn the codes and technics of communication, learn what is appreciated/ appropriate and what not. It's basically an easier approach to socializing than in real life because you hide behind a screen and can leave all the time, yet you have to adapt and fit a role when you want to become a reputable member. This counts for communities as well as for single persons aka online friends. You have to ask yourself if it’s worth the gain and how much you are willing to disguise your true self.

Even wizchan is a place where you have to learn what's approved and what not based on the specific board, but here you can be much more open about certain things which everywhere else would be shunned and laughed about. What makes this place so much better for me is that here all I need to do to 'fit in' with the community is to write what actually bothers me and don’t need to alter my way of talking. This is the first place where I never felt that I need to 'learn' how to say something. It was very natural. Or at least the closest it gets. For me the way of changing my thoughts starts when I write them down. There is always something that goes lost via the expression of something internal.

Finally I have to say that in general the Internet will never be more than a pseudo-substitute for real life interaction. It’s different when someone is in front of you and looks you in the eye. It’s mor personal. However, there is a more metaphysical kind of element to the Internet the way I see it. You can lurk all the time and not putting yourself out in the web at all and it still simulates a sense of social connection. It's similar maybe to older people who go through a city not to do something specific, just to not feel so alone all the time. I think this is what the Internet has been for me most of the time. I don't really care to make friends (never did) or join communities (few approaches but it never did anything for me), but this lasting sense of connectedness was always there. It's just that this isn't much. In fact it can be an annoyance sometimes. A silent but constant pressure to keep up with what's currently going on. And it’s frustrating that I always feel left behind. The older I get the less I care. I am more relaxed now whenever I manage to stay away from the Internet for a longer time. Still, I can't imagine how my life would be without it.

 No.221027

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>>220915

>You're better off this way.


Not really, since I still reached the same point you yourself did, realizing I'm a low IQ waste of space who squandered his youthful years and is now only a breath away from turning 30, but without even having any good memories of the internet or really of enjoying it on any substantial level, especially when compared to most other people who don't suffer from the same issues that I do.

>but on the internet you get as much shit for being a loser as you would in the real world. It can be pretty brutal.


Yes, I agree. As much as I was worried 15 years ago about these same sorts of things happening to me, they're basically an unavoidable reality now. As in others condemning me for being a loser, or just a useless piece of shit. It feels like that so long as someone keeps their expressions within the acceptable boundaries of the community then they won't get shit on. The problems I suffer from, being a secluded wizard, would probably just get me receiving grief from others on, for instance, one of the major depression sub-reddits, assuming I wasn't just buried or ignored, which has always been the result out of the handful of times I've tried over the years.

I actually call bullshit on what I just said though, since the only place I have regular experience of being shit on for my woes is actually right here. I've never been very active on reddit, but never have I been insulted or talked down to on reddit as I have here. Time after time I've been judged and mocked for expressing whatever I was going through on this site. That's not to say that there weren't supportive comments as well, like you can see here, but sometimes also just as many pricks who'd be making their peanut gallery criticisms and judgements like some condescending normalfaqgot would. If anything, I'd actually say that even a website like reddit would've often been FAR more accepting and understanding of what I had to say. Case in point, I once made a thread about how I missed my dead cat and ended up inadvertently getting in a fight with my brother over it and at least half the replies here were basically, "HAH! Fucking spazoid autist! You're as emotional and barbaric as a normalfaggot!". If I'd posted that to reddit that never would've happened and that's a fact. The bottom line is, is that wizchan, while it somewhat advertises itself to be a safe space social outcasts, is paradoxically extremely cruel and unforgiving for those who are depressed or anxious or suffer with mental problems. It seems to me that the only people who have ever gotten the most of this site are cruel shitposters, sadists or people who just always keep to themselves and lurk. Although that last one takes a very unique sort of perspective to enjoy, since while you're lurking you then have to witness all the rancid garbage of the shitposters and sadists. In that sense, even just lurking can become a strain on the nerves and downright awful.

>>220920

>have you tried these already?


Yes. Starting with porn, it's a very empty pursuit for me these days. My sex drive is still fairly active, so I still find myself masturbating almost every day. Trawling porn websites for new lewd material to add to my porn vault is pretty much one of the few remaining things I can do while online to kill time. It's something I guess, but it can often feel as dull as entering numbers into a spreadsheet. It's also tied to my sex drive, so once I actually cum that's pretty much it and it's back to doing nothing.

I still play video games, or I force myself to at least, but never any online ones. I haven't played an online game in 5-6 years. I have no desire to compete with others in multiplayer and I've never played an MMO in my life and have no wish to, since I'd much rather just play a traditional solo RPG instead. I also have no one to play co-op games with and to do so with strangers is something I'm incapable of and would just be pointless.

I don't stream music or watch anime online, but I do download torrents of games, music and anime. This shows I still value the internet for its utility, but it's merely an intermediary between me and the media I consume. I don't consider it applicable to actually enjoying the internet itself.

That just leaves lurking and I've never really enjoyed doing that very much, since I feel like I'm always on the outside looking in. Everyone else is having a grand old time with their various communities or with their internet buddies, while I'm just trapped sitting inside a cold cell looking out through a tiny window at everyone else, which is effectively what lurking has always amounted to for me. One of the only things I feel while lurking is an immense amount of distance between me and everyone else and it largely just compounds how isolated and disconnected I feel from everything. Even on wizchan, whether it's a bunch of users posting their nonsense to each other, sometimes less than a sentence or two in length, or some user making some well thought out posts and it all, to me, just makes me feel more disconnected, simply on the basis that they can engage, and probably engage regularly whether here or on other sites or with their probable internet buddies, while I can't, since this place is all I have and while I might post here sometimes it really doesn't feel much above lurking in the end.

 No.221028

>>220975

>You can lurk all the time and not putting yourself out in the web at all and it still simulates a sense of social connection.


OP again and that's not the case for me. It's just not enough and it never has been, which leads to a certain and actually rather high degree of internal frustration to satiate my bodies need for some kind of meaningful human interaction. And I have to say that this is what it feels like. My body sending some unconscious, primordial signal to seek out something meaningfully social, which I otherwise would rather not bother myself with. In my case, these feelings sprang on me later in life just as I was entering my late 20s. Before that point, I had always thought myself to being immune to any sorts of sensations of loneliness. Usually it's the other way around, where someone is lonely when they're younger and then they stop caring about it when they get older. For me, it was the opposite. I really wonder what that means, frankly. Whether these feelings will stay with me the rest of my life now, or I'll go back to being indifferent at some point.

I wonder if I'm just being greedy though, since I have my mother to talk to and sometimes my brother when he comes to visit. Shouldn't that be enough? It's far more than most ever have, after all. I try to tell myself that, but it never makes a difference as to how I actually feel.

As for wizchan being special or different from everywhere else, I've been browsing this place for a number of years now and I have to say that it's really not that great. There's too much insincerity, too much hostility, and too many little sadistic games that LARPers, or perhaps even others wizards with a vicious streak in them a mile wide, can play to fuck up even the most benign threads, or take chunks out of other users who are simply looking for some understanding. On this basis, this place was noticeably a dump all those years ago when I first got here and it's sad to see that it has only worsened in that sense as time has gone on. The thing with wizchan, or really any anonymous imageboard, is that if some prick feels like telling you off and kicking you when you're down, then they'll often do just that. Whether because they're bored, or that it's just because something you said in an otherwise impartial post stuck in their craw, which leads to them trolling/dismissing the shit out of you, or your thread. Not to mention that it feels like generally speaking people here have very little patience anymore for hearing another wizard's woes. Take this post for example, some will say it's too long and will simply dislike whatever I have to say because of its length and dismiss it as a wall of text they can't be bothered to actually read. It's often others expressing this sort of contempt that's made this place so awful and telling another wizard in a bad spot to get over whatever's bothering them and to shut up, or to just kill themselves already and stop whining. It's kind of odd to me how wizchan has become almost a beacon for the sorts of thoughts/attitudes of the most ignorant and callous normalfaggots, in an attempt to purge everything /dep/ related, since somehow depression, social anxiety or just not being a fan of living has become associated with being "unwizardly". I mean, honestly, how the fuck did that happen?

Other users go on about gays, or trannies, or whatever the hell else these days, but I'm still of the opinion that /pol/ was the worst thing that ever happened to this website and that its influence/infiltration pretty much destroyed wizchan entirely. It seemed to really embolden this narrative that all us wizards should be unfeeling, dispassionate tough guys and that those who are depressed or feel bitter about life ought to be driven out and looked at with total scorn. Then of course you had even the mods getting in on this kind of crap what with filtering stuff like in-cel to 'crab', popularizing its usage here, which only exacerbated the situation further. Nowadays one has to conform to wizchan in almost the same rigidly dogmatic ways as the worst sub-reddits on reddit and in forms that go beyond even the stated rules of the website. If you don't, you often become fodder for others insults, since you're not conforming to what the current and most vocal tribe of this website demands of its users. Again, at this point wizchan is really no different than anywhere else, at least in this sense. I'm too autistic and out of the loop to navigate or deal with this kind of stupid and unfair shit, which leaves me hanging high and dry, alone with myself and frustrated with the bullshit antics of others, which I paradoxically wish to engage with.

 No.221048

>>221028
>being immune to any sorts of sensations of loneliness. Usually it's the other way around, where someone is lonely when they're younger and then they stop caring about it when they get older. For me, it was the opposite.

Maybe the majority of wizchan users is like you when you where younger. It's not a question that the average age here is below 30. Thus people post in the same mindset as yours when you thought you'd be immune to sensations of loneliness for your whole life. I know this sentiment as well and it's the honest belief that you can just every single day of your life without the company of other people. Now these people get aggressive to defend their belief, they don't want to face the truth that this phase is expandable. They truly believe that they are in the right to do so and so it becomes easy to accuse other virgins for feelings of loneliness, marking them as weak and unwizardly and crabs. Or in fact they are older people who learned to live alone without struggling with loneliness, and then they accuse the loneliness posters of being too young and being unworthy wiz kids. However you put it there is a lack of clarity here because we never can see the real person behind the post. We are reduced to a bunch of words, a structure of text and misunderstanding is the logical conclusion and hostility comes right after that. And, not to forget, all the while we have to do with actual LARPers, out there to induce chaos and hate between fellow wizards.

 No.221049

>>221027
>I still reached the same point you yourself did, realizing I'm a low IQ waste of space who squandered his youthful years and is now only a breath away from turning 30, but without even having any good memories of the internet or really of enjoying it on any substantial level, especially when compared to most other people who don't suffer from the same issues that I do.
I can sort of relate, but it's only been like that for me in the past years. Ultimately, I think we are very much cursed, not for the fact that we are virgins, but because we can't feel or enjoy things like other people do. It's pretty much how my life's been for me, except that gaming and the internet were enjoyable, but now that's not even the case anymore. I just don't feel like there is much purpose to my existence at this point since I don't really have much to live for.

>I still play video games, or I force myself to at least, but never any online ones. I haven't played an online game in 5-6 years. I have no desire to compete with others in multiplayer

I feel the exact same. All these competitive games feel extremely pointless. I feel more rewarded by playing a character that I feel is authentic rather than following some cookie-cutter mandatory meta garbage that must be used in order to be successful in a game, and this is the case for almost all multiplayer games.

>>221028
>>221048
I think most of the "unwizardly" accusation posts are indeed made by LARPers or people baiting. It's an easy way to get people to respond here.

 No.221052

>>221027
>That just leaves lurking and I've never really enjoyed doing that very much, since I feel like I'm always on the outside looking in. Everyone else is having a grand old time with their various communities or with their internet buddies, while I'm just trapped sitting inside a cold cell looking out through a tiny window at everyone else, which is effectively what lurking has always amounted to for me. One of the only things I feel while lurking is an immense amount of distance between me and everyone else and it largely just compounds how isolated and disconnected I feel from everything.

Well said. We are together disconnected my friend. And we won't solve this mutual disconnection. I cannot interact with other human beings in an emotional manner. I am afraid of real connections, of someone getting to know me better personally. Beyond this anonymous wall of abstract exchange of letters I am nothing but an empty shell and nobody could find anything interesting in me that would make him want to engage with me. As much as I am fine with that, as much as I am frightened of someone who would learn to know me, this doesn't dissolve the primordial lack I find within myself. There is always this tension where I want to seek isolation yet cannot be contend with it. Introverts are people who need more rest after engaging with other people; I need excessively more rest and after being alone for most of my life I forgot how to interact with other people.
Also, I am sorry that people made fun of you for bemoaning your dead cat. Those people are trolling and they can barely fathom how much harm this does to fragile persons like us. Those heartless pricks find joy in bringing about turmoil whereever they think it will hit the hardest. They are not worth a thought. What makes me sad is that we need enforced social expectations and rules to make these posts go away. This is why I don't trust reddit. I think those people only do it for the Internet points, for social reputation. The place is not real there for me. It sucks that compassion is a rare quality even here. Just goes to show how much this place is polluted.

 No.221063

>>221028
>It's kind of odd to me how wizchan has become almost a beacon for the sorts of thoughts/attitudes of the most ignorant and callous normalfaggots, in an attempt to purge everything /dep/ related, since somehow depression, social anxiety or just not being a fan of living has become associated with being "unwizardly". I mean, honestly, how the fuck did that happen?

See the "End of the Wizards" follow-up thread >>213134

People like us are the last of our kind, there might be some new type of wizard after us I don't know, but we definitely are the last.

 No.221090

>>221027
>That just leaves lurking and I've never really enjoyed doing that very much, since I feel like I'm always on the outside looking in. Everyone else is having a grand old time with their various communities or with their internet buddies, while I'm just trapped sitting inside a cold cell looking out through a tiny window at everyone else, which is effectively what lurking has always amounted to for me. One of the only things I feel while lurking is an immense amount of distance between me and everyone else and it largely just compounds how isolated and disconnected I feel from everything.

I have to say that this very much describes how it feels for me, too.
The other night my upstairs neighbour was having some sort of gathering, not exactly a party but he had his friends over, all healthy young men about 20yo, and it seemed like they were playing vidya, sitting around eating/drinking, telling jokes to each other, that sort of thing. I could hear them talking and laughing, at one point it sounded like they were jumping around a bunch, and I got curious and went into the other room and stood in the dark, looking out my window and through a small gap in their deck, and saw a young man smoking a bong while other people were doing something inside (I could hear them). I'm over thirty years old and that was the first time in my life that I have ever seen a bong, or even someone 'doing' or having an illegal drug (assuming they were smoking marijuana in it). Being realistic, there's no way to spin it to make it sound like they weren't having a good time. And I couldn't help thinking about how their little event is something totally normal for them, but just getting together with some friends like that is something I have never done in my whole life. About how, at no time in my life, have I ever known a single person whom I could contact and organise something like that. And, how, chronologically, I was a 'man' when they were still little kids, and now they are young men while I am entering middle age, yet already they are much more grown up than I am. They don't suffer from the self-protective inhibitions that guide my behaviour, they aren't afraid of their own shadows. While I cower in the dark, they live.

And then I went back to my bed with my laptop and came online, and the reality is that my experience online is very much like looking out that window. I have, at most, only a faint and peripheral attachment to any website, about as much as if I had gone out and they had seen me from their window. At most of the sites I have visited I have never even bothered to register, I just watched, read, refreshed, dropped the place when it got too much, etc. Even at sites where I managed to post regularly enough I was still a permanent outsider; those forums are full of people who 'know' or even know each other, and the reality is that most people online are those people I see from my window, people who have a great time living and then go online and post about smoking weed with their mates. I can't relate to that at all. And there are many others who act the same way towards me as the people who bullied me years ago, who manage to find in every word I write something to mock or belittle. That sort of thing just makes me recoil and withdraw, I am thin skinned and susceptible to harsh criticism. Almost every place I go, online or off, reminds me that I don't belong anywhere, there is no basis for me to do anything or be anywhere, not even here. I don't experience life the same way as them, I don't experience their websites the same way as them.

 No.221101

>>221090
Yeah, I had this happen first in University. I didn't really realize how different I was since the usual idea was nerdy kids are supposed to be awkward, but the best and brightest were all super social and having the time of their lives outside. The worst part is they were typically just faster thinkers and could get more stuff done in less time than I could, so I was just a dumb nerd and they were well-rounded people.

 No.221102

>>221101
Tbh I had always had all these revenge fantasies of being successful and everyone who treated me badly being some loser. To be fair, they were right in terms of me being a loser but they were normalfag losers.

 No.221104

>>221101
>>221090
>the reality is that most people online are those people I see from my window, people who have a great time living and then go online and post about smoking weed with their mates
>usual idea was nerdy kids are supposed to be awkward

I don't know how old either of you guys but if you're close to my age, then you must have noticed a paradigm shift.

 No.221106

>>221104
I'm 29, and yeah. Even the dorkiest kids basically were just normalfags with Mensa IQs by the I was 20.

 No.221107

>>221106
> Even the dorkiest kids basically were just normalfags with Mensa IQs by the I was 20.

But you do hold the view that it WAS different before right? I'll give you my idea of what I think changed but I'd like to hear what you think changed.

 No.221109

>>221107
Yeah, it was different before. Technology/internet became more mainstream so it was no longer uncool to be a nerd. The straight-laced people typically avoided old chatrooms/old style messageboards/etc. so it was just the fringiest nerds.

 No.221110

Wow another meta thread about internet degradation gonna hit bumplimit.

 No.221114

>>221109
>Technology/internet became more mainstream so it was no longer uncool to be a nerd.
Sorta but in essence it's similar enough to my viewpoint.

You missed out on what happened to the existing nerds though; I think all the points of collection like anime clubs, LGS, online forums etc became interconnected enough for them to act as support groups (that normalfags deny to have). This is even before the mainstreaming of geek/nerd culture.

 No.221159

>>221114
Yeah, I guess they did function that way. I was never a late bloomer nerd who made friends, but it makes sense the ones that were more gregarious made them into a more social thing.

 No.221175

>>221101
When I went to university all the top students were very social and mostly very athletic. We don't have 'college sports' in my country so this meant things they did on their own time.

>>221104
Do you mean online? In that case yeah, I think so. The reality is it was always full of normalfags, but they were a bit more covert in the beginning or they were at the nerdy end of the normalfag spectrum because the internet wasn't very fashionable. I think the normalfag takeover probably took off with facebook supplanting myspace and the rise of cellphones with web browsers, and was completed by around 2012 when bodybuilding/tinder/redpill stuff had consumed the entire internet.

 No.221196

>>221175
>When I went to university all the top students were very social and mostly very athletic.

A few reasons, one being that there's a particular set of "top" students who are privileged enough to have tutoring and have extra-curricular activities, including sports, to do outside school throughout their educational lives and sometimes they're rich enough to just "buy" the degree (like I've seen rich dumb chinese kids who could barely speak english and paid people to write their coursework and do their tests get 2.2s and 2.1s and sometimes even 1.1s)

I think you are bitterly disappointed that smart kids at uni didn't turn out to be the ones in your head. And that's mostly cause you're looking about it in the wrong way. They ARE the nerds in your head because they used whatever support groups available to them during secondary/high school, in or out of school, to get to the place they are at uni because they realised that uni is really about networking more so than just pure grades.

Those rainman-esque anti-social genius types that you're probably imagining the nerds to be in uni, exist but they are usually the smartest of the smartest to make up for their lack of social skills.


>The reality is it was always full of normalfags….

>….because the internet wasn't very fashionable.

>conceding every small bit of territory, every small part that was yours


I know eventually everything will be swallowed up and anons will start to claim that breathing is a normie thing to do but lol no, it wasn't unpopular because it wasn't "fashionable", it was unpopular AND unfashionable because it more than the usual amount of brainpower (of a normie) to use the internet and find things.

 No.221197

>>221196
>I think you are bitterly disappointed that smart kids at uni didn't turn out to be the ones in your head
I was bitterly disappointed to explore the all-encompassing reality of being a totally inadequate and unable person in every conceivable way.
> they used whatever support groups available to them during secondary/high school, in or out of school, to get to the place they are at uni because they realised that uni is really about networking more so than just pure grades
Literally the only criteria for university entry was your rank in the school leaver exams, so 'networking' or 'extracurricular activities' are totally irrelevant, other than to demonstrate the general superiority of those people at everything they did.
>it more than the usual amount of brainpower (of a normie) to use the internet and find things.
It had nothing to do with brainpower, it just was something they didn't care for because they were busy doing other things at the time. Later, more things on the internet interested them, so they began to use it more.

 No.221229

>>221197
>Literally the only criteria for university entry was your rank in the school leaver exams
>so 'networking' or 'extracurricular activities' are totally irrelevant

I don't know what kind of uni you went to but I had to write a personal statement detailing why I wanted to do the degree, how enthusiastic I was to do it, what I did outside of school that was related to the degree etc. After that was an interview and then they gave me a conditional offer. The backup uni I applied for was a lot more straight-forward since it was WAAAAY down in the ranks.

But that wasn't even the point I was making, I meant get to the place they are in uni -socially-.

>It had nothing to do with brainpower

I don't know if you're being a dickhead or just hard on yourself but back in the days normies couldn't download an mp3 without accidentally getting a virus on their computers, the number of times I had to go to my parents' friends' house because either they or their kids fucked up the computer and I had to fix it. I made a (VERY) small name for myself at school because a bunch of my peers were too stupid to download games and music so they paid me to get it for them.

Nowadays everything can be easily downloaded with minimal fuss.

 No.221236

>>221229
>back in the days normies couldn't download an mp3 without accidentally getting a virus on their computers
Don't remind me, my sister would download loads of shit through P2P software that would get our home computer infected all the fucking time.

 No.221254

>>221229
Boomer tech incapacity is more they didn't use it except for the specific uses. For the normal kids, sitting down at home and nerding it up on a computer was seen as lame so they never learned those things.

 No.221270

File: 1590835271279.gif (1.96 MB, 267x151, 267:151, 1422519966782.gif) ImgOps iqdb

>>221048
>>221049
>>221052
>>221063
>>221090

OP again. I just gotta say that I really appreciate you guys chiming into my thread. I'll admit that I honestly didn't think there were still users on wizchan who were capable of producing posts like these. When I made this thread, I fully expected to receive a bunch of backhanded remarks and all around contempt from the usual cunts who troll this website looking to harass and hassle users, especially those in /dep/ of all places, for, god forbid, feeling depressed or expressing anything negative about how they're feeling. Well, I'm just pleased to see that there are still some decent posters on this website. Thanks for the supportive words and the relatable posts. I really needed them and I'm glad to know that I'm not the only who feels this way or that wizchan isn't only filled with cruel shitposters looking to get their kicks at another's expense, so again, thanks.

>>221048

Very accurate post and I agree with every word. As you say, it's very easy for people to misunderstand each other, or paint with broad strokes based on their own narrow perspective. Still, I've also suspected myself that those who claim to be totally detached from feelings of loneliness must still be fairly young. I won't say all, but I'm sure some of them probably are and, in all likelihood, will go through a similar experience comparable to my own. I'll admit that I might've been just as obnoxious 6-7 years ago, but, like them, I grew to better appreciate what a scourge true loneliness can be, as I'm sure, once some of them get older, they will as well. We'll see how much they can cling to their truest wizardry then, but it can also be said that they'd just as soon ditch it in a heartbeat, assuming they're just confused young LARPers which, again, I'm sure some on here probably are and I'd wager are likely the ones whom are the most obnoxious when it comes to this sort of thing.

>>221049


>Ultimately, I think we are very much cursed, not for the fact that we are virgins, but because we can't feel or enjoy things like other people do.



Yes, exactly. Being virgins has nothing to do with it. For me, it's basically an intangible barrier which prevents me from engaging with, or really being able to understand or navigate the outside world. In my case, this largely comes back to autism, but I feel it actually goes beyond even that and it's literally just who I am as a person.

>It's pretty much how my life's been for me, except that gaming and the internet were enjoyable, but now that's not even the case anymore.


I used to enjoy gaming and, on occasion, still sometimes do, but I can't say the same when it comes to the internet. Gaming was different since it only involved myself most of the time, whereas to really enjoy the internet required connecting with and engaging with other users (making friends with them, chatting with them, embedding yourself in an imageboard forum or community of some kind, etc.) which I was never capable of doing.


>>221052

>There is always this tension where I want to seek isolation yet cannot be contend with it.


That tension is something I'm very familiar with. Isolation and solitude is very doubled edged in the sense that I enjoy it, but I also hate it at the same time. It relaxes me, but it also causes me the deepest distress and turmoil. But, of course, the alternative is equally distressing and filled with a high likelihood for even greater turmoil, that being actually engaging with other people. It's a very rock and a hard place type situation.

>This is why I don't trust reddit. I think those people only do it for the Internet points, for social reputation. The place is not real there for me.


Yes, this is true as well. Reddit can be extremely insincere in its own way. Just as you said, a lot of people there are only putting on a facade of caring just so they can reap their precious karma and get patted on the back by everybody else. Even so, I'd still take faux kindness versus outright hostility and mockery any day. Even if people are only pretending to be kind, it's still better than nothing. In this sense, I really only cringe at all the times I spilled my guts on wizchan and got crucified for it by LARPers/shitposters and how even taking reddit's false kindness would've largely been a better option. Of course, even when I say this, it still feels hard to use reddit, since it can be such a hollow echo chamber. It's also either overcrowded to the extreme, or practically a graveyard, depending on the sub, which makes it equally frustrating and cumbersome to use.

>>221063

Yeah, I suppose that thread and the previous one somewhat touched on this. I guess, for me, I'm not too fussed about normals commodifying and taking over yet another sub-culture, like they've done with many others, since I'm so disconnected already that it really doesn't matter. If I'd somehow felt like I belonged to those groups beforehand then I'd probably be upset about it too, but I was too autistic and anxious to ever feel like a member, so I don't. At the same time, seeing extroverted normals who'd very obviously have had nothing to do with these sorts of things say, even just 20 years ago, suddenly start tearing them apart and swarming all over them like locusts, while at the same ousting and mocking those who once found solace in them, can be very upsetting to see even for someone like me who has always just kept to themselves and felt like an outsider and enjoyed these things silently and by myself. I realize that others did too, but I don't know. These days, I either just play old games, or niche indie games, and watch films/anime/TV shows largely from before 2010. It's still a problem I guess, but I find I can at least mostly ignore it for the moment.

 No.221274

File: 1590836157741.gif (2.28 MB, 360x202, 180:101, 43d9sw.gif) ImgOps iqdb

>>221090

Yeah, that's a very relatable story. I remember one time when me and my father went out for a day trip to a local conservation area. It was pretty deserted and we eventually found ourselves standing atop a hill. Eventually we, or at least I, noticed a group of three people (2 guys and 1 succubus) take the nearby trail behind us that continued further into the woods. From where we were standing, you could see the trail extend quite a ways on and I can remember turning my head towards them at times and watching them jovially continue along together, laughing and seeming to be having a great time with each other. I pretty much just felt like gif related. At the time, it instilled in me a very stoic sense of loneliness and of supreme isolation from the sorts of delights that a normal person will at least sometimes find themselves enjoying at certain points in their life. In the end, I live in a completely different world compared to them and I very likely always will. I still have my mother and father for the moment, and to some extent my brother, and, like I said before, I suppose that should be enough. To most people, I live a sad, dreadful little life that could barely even be called 'life' to begin with. Good or bad though, it's who I am. And I don't think that one should ever deny who it is they truly are, even if who they are brings them pain and puts them apart from practically everyone else in the entire world. Either way, it can still feel quite lonely and it's hard not to have the joys of others reverberate off our hollow selves.

>>221101

>I didn't really realize how different I was since the usual idea was nerdy kids are supposed to be awkward, but the best and brightest were all super social and having the time of their lives outside.


I suppose it depends, but this does often seem to be the case, doesn't it? Due to my autism, I was very awkward and socially incompetent and would've been a C+ student at best, had it not been for getting special concessions be made for me and eventually dropping out of school early. My older brother, while he really isn't all that much better looking than me, was a helluva a lot more social and also did far better at school. Even when it came to him though, there were still other kids/students who were brighter than even him and, consequently, more socially adept as well. My brother's been applying to get into medical school for a fair amount of years now and, while he possesses more than enough of the necessary grades, he's been denied time and time again, while less intelligent, but more socially connected people he knew managed to get in. I guess my point is that it's hard to tell. Sometimes those who are the best and brightest are also the most good looking and social, but they could also just be the ones with the most connections and people giving them extra slack due to stuff like the halo effect. People who are genetically well off physically already tend to have an easy start when it comes to most things and have very little reason to be bitter about life, making it natural for them to have a sunny disposition and attract others socially, while continuing to improve in other areas, which again makes it easy for them to be the best given the extra cushioning they've had to work with in life.

 No.221280

>>221270
I need to watch the watch kuuga someday

 No.221337

>>221274
There's another reason why the "nerd=social retard" has changed and it's the fact that just pure "smarts" on it's own is a whole lot less valuable these days. Some things that required "smart" people have been automated or simplified, dumb shit like downloading songs has now been simplified to paid subscription services or (I'm making an educated guess here) the IT departments where previously they needed several "smart" people (who'd usually be anti-social types) to run it, can now be run by fewer people.

And it's true in academia in a sense, like when I was at uni and my professors we're talking about projects they did or were part of, it was implicit that collaboration was a key part of their projects. You can be a super genius autist but that is nowhere near enough what's required anymore because of how complex STEM subjects have become when it comes to discovering new things.

The younger generation has probably realised this.

 No.221339

>>221337
I think you guys have all just greatly overestimated the prevalence of smart antisocial people, both presently and historically. For every Tesla or standard nerd reject there are probably two Edisons. Really all that’s changed to me is the prevalence of nerd culture being hip. And the people who buy into nerd culture because it’s popular usually aren’t very smart in the first place. And that’s why it’s appealing to them, because by claiming to be a nerd they can pretend they’re smart, or different, or unique etc.

 No.221347

>>221339
>I think you guys have all just greatly overestimated the prevalence of smart antisocial people, both presently and historically.
I never really thought there were that many to begin but I think there's WAAAY less of them now.

>Really all that’s changed to me is the prevalence of nerd culture being hip. And the people who buy into nerd culture because it’s popular usually aren’t very smart in the first place. And that’s why it’s appealing to them, because by claiming to be a nerd they can pretend they’re smart, or different, or unique etc.

I'm not denying that (in fact it's one of the main points of the "End of the Wizards" thread), they can just blend into the crowd because of that.

 No.221383

>>221049
>I feel the exact same. All these competitive games feel extremely pointless. I feel more rewarded by playing a character that I feel is authentic rather than following some cookie-cutter mandatory meta garbage that must be used in order to be successful in a game, and this is the case for almost all multiplayer games.
For what it's worth, most people didn't think Pikachu was really viable and yet Axe won a major tournament with it. Unfortunately I don't enjoy playing Melee anymore, but I guess if you ever want to play a competitive game that's not entirely pointless, you could give Melee a try.

 No.221579

File: 1591324369752.jpg (35.92 KB, 661x721, 661:721, 1473303626498.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

Just another random aside to this, but I find myself noticeably bothered how sometimes I see a post I might otherwise relate/concur with, but it's written in such an obnoxious or retarded manner that I almost want to disagree with the person purely because they're being such an obnoxious dumbass. Whether becuase they're too stupid to convey what they're talking about properly (and I don't mean someone who's sincerely making a post, but just doesn't understand everything properly. That's fine. I'm referring to posts that are almost proud in how little they understand of what they're talking about and are very Dunning Kruger-esque and obnoxious), assuming they're not just being a total dumbass on purpose to either discredit the concept, whatever it happens to be, or, more likely, to just gin up attention/replies from others by showcasing their complete dumbassery, which most here almost always supply them with. I mean, who fucking enjoys getting replies based on deliberately being a complete dumbass with the intent of simply receiving ANY sort of attention from others, even if it's likely to be hostile? I can't understand it. I just can't. Those that do this are literal fucking aliens to me and yet imageboards, and by extension the entire internet, are completely fucking full of them. Explains why, again, I don't like to use or interact with the internet beyond downloading torrents, looking up information and porn.

I often go through phases where I just really fucking hate the nature of imageboards. They're an easy, no string attached means to dump my thoughts/feelings and they come with a lot of freedom in that sense. There's no doubt about that, which is why I keep using them. Lurking is, well, not all that great most of the time, at least for me, and at worst it seems as if all one sees is just one dumbass, brain killing shitpost after another. For the record, this mostly applies to threads made in /wiz/ and /lounge/. The whole, "/dep/ crabs are unwizardly and need to get the fuck out, lol", narrative held by the copious amount of wizkids on this site, or at least I'd hope they're only wizkids, is also something I'm really fucking tired of seeing. It seems as if there's so many clueless god damned kids running around on this site these days. Might as well be a fucking daycare center at this point.

And yes, I'm sure someone out there will probably chide me for being a tad obnoxious myself in how I chose to express this. I'm aware of that. I'd say this is different, and I in fact will say that, but still I'm aware of the obvious jab here. This is just how I needed to get this out.

 No.221585

THERE'S NOTHING TO FUCKING DO I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY TO READ, ALL THE FILM AND TV RECOMMENDATIONS ON THE BOARD ARE SHIT MOST SONGS ARE SHIT I HAVE TO LISTEN TO FIFTY SONGS TO FIND ONE GOOD SONG, MOST GAMES ARE DO THIS SHITTY SIDE QUEST TO PROLONG THE GAME WHY CAN'T ALL THE QUALITY MEDIA BE IN
ONE PLACE AND YOU SNES PLAYING JURASSIC PARK WATCHING BASTARDS GET THE FUCKING FUCK OFF OF MY FUCKING BOARD

 No.221638

>>221585
You ever consider the problem is you, and not everyone else?

 No.221645


 No.221832

>>221579
I get what you saying same here but sadly I’m retarded idiot.

 No.222605

>>222594
Like a broken record: We're the last of the wizards.

I think it's also possible that the wizard label kinda broke when it became tiered.

 No.222606

Damn the posts were deleted. Did they break the rules?

 No.222631

There's nothing to enjoy except torrent trackers and shopping sites if you have the money. Humanity and their endless noise are very disappointing.

 No.222633

The internet is just a tool, would you enjoy a Hammer?

 No.222649

>>222633
I enjoy the usefulness of a hammer. I'd prefer using it over karate chopping nails. The internet is losing its usefulness to the average wiz, though

 No.222786

File: 1592906269374.jpg (46.11 KB, 850x680, 5:4, sample_548230c491d64c7935b….jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>222719
You shouldn't get angry at wizchan alone, it's the nature of imageboards itself. Nothing seemed to have improved ever since imageboards had started.
Just look at places normalfags visit like reddit, youtube, twitter, instagram or other things. Just the UI alone. They look modern, updated, normalfag-friendly and other features since they started. No normalfag would in the right mind come to imageboards of all places when they got twitter, netflix and other shit they watch with their friends.
Imageboards got everything to attract the exact kind of people it wants to keep trapped in. Just look at imageboards in return, this place looks just the same, even after a decade, since fall of 8chan, hundreds of alternate imageboards popped up but except for the CSS, everything looks exactly the same. They all run in just a couple of imageboard "engines". The same users are jumping between imageboards, same recycled content, same memes, same everything.
It's as if imageboards in nature are made for people who want to hold on to something forever, never progressing, and like you said, stuck in a self-imposed sadomasochistic loop.

 No.222787

>>222786
>No normalfag would in the right mind come to imageboards of all places
Not him but they do come to the imageboards. Maybe not wizchan or the lesser known ones but definitely 4chan.

 No.222788

File: 1592912790752.jpg (176.25 KB, 645x600, 43:40, ef3decf35aa3343eb5a5dc331b….jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>222787
I completely forgot about 4chan. Yep. I see even people like Alex Jones or Pewdiepie talking about 4chan these days. That place has been dead ever since Trump and GamerGate happened.

>The real tragedy would be when someone simply remakes the site elsewhere, like when wizardchan became wizchan, and we all know how well that turned out because here we are.

I wanted to avoid this because this isn't related to wizchan in particular but now I feel like I want to just because. This is what's going on right now with the lesser known boards. It has got people stuck in between 4chan and whatever place(s) they're at because 8kun was a collosal failure. The ones who left when 8chan broke down and didn't bothered to come back have won the fight. But the ones who're staying back are still trapped, possibly forever. Tired and holding on to whatever great times they had back when 4chan or 8chan was alive. Still hoping things would return back (honestly, never), once the activity picks up (sure there could have been few memories there but it wasn't probably that rosey eyed as they remember). Sometimes occasionally whining how dead the place feels like and start shilling their boards everywhere.
Some just give up and just go back to 4chan itself. This is the saddest of them all. The sign that they're forever trapped. The existing state of 4chan is so horrible that last I saw there are succubi and people who had sex posting at r9k. How can one be so trapped they want to go back to 4chan of all places if they aren't completely ensnared by the idea of imageboards itself?

Trapped forever, Imageboards are flypapers.

 No.222789

If you have any sort of complaint or opinion about the quality of Wizchan or its userbase, there is an entire board for that.

>>>/meta/

 No.222800

>>222789
Yeah and it serves no purpose,we've already said our complaints about this site millions of times on /meta/,and the faggot mod clique never listens.

 No.222864

>>222789
Are you just going to ignore this post >>222862?

 No.222869

>>222788
The ones that got stuck in between *cannot* progress towards anything. And there's no new blood.

 No.222946

Well, since my post was deleted again, that pretty much answers my question. Apparently even the slightest /meta/ talk outside of /meta/ is now not only liable grounds for post removal, but a fucking ban on top of that as well. Despite there being no basis in the site's rules for these sorts of actions. Welp, to say that's complete horseshit doesn't even come close to describing it, but whatever. Have it your way, you little tin pot dictators. I guess the mod clique really does just delete anything it doesn't like.

*Deleted post below*

>>222789

So, to be clear, any sort of talk about wizchan's quality outside of /meta/ is now liable for post removal? I've sometimes made posts before, like the kind you've just deleted, on /dep/, yet they've never been removed up until now. Out of everything else, this is what you damn mods choose to crack down on? Give me a fucking break. How about if I spoiler it first? Or would that be a problem as well?

>>222786

>You shouldn't get angry at wizchan alone


I mentioned at the very end of my post (the one that got deleted, again) that, while I was heavily critical of wizchan, the rest of the internet is undoubtedly way worse. I'm only so harsh on wizchan because it's literally all I have, or have ever really had, but, when it comes right down to it, it's still terrible, which leaves me with what I've always actually had, which is nothing.

You talked a lot about 4chan/8chan, but, if wizchan is a septic tank, than those places are literal oceans of watery shit. Now, of course, you can also throw in reddit and all the other major social networking sites out there into that category as well. I've never lurked nor posted on those websites, outside of very rare and specific circumstances. 8chan's /hikki/ board was the only board I ever minimally engaged with and, to be honest, even that board was pretty fucking terrible, not to mention near dead in its activity. At this point, there's nowhere for me to retreat or go back to, since there was never anywhere else to begin with. If there was, then I wouldn't be here and I'd very probably never come back. Simple as that.

>>222633

I'm not saying I should enjoy it on that basis and I actually already mentioned how mere utility isn't enough to truly enjoy it. Having said that, clearly there are those out there who have fond memories of using and being apart of the internet. I'm not, nor have I ever been one of them, but they still exist. Agree with me or not, but a large part of being able to enjoy the internet requires being able to socialize well with others. I do not posses the inherent ability do this, so naturally, I have no fond memories of the internet. What's more, many wizards, like in the "end of the wizards" thread and its follow-up, have expressed how they used to enjoy the internet, but don't any longer. People like this are utterly incomprehensible to me, yet on some level it would've been nice to enjoy and reap some fond memories of my own from using the internet, as they claim to have, besides it simply being nothing more than a tool for me. At this point, I'm sure most would agree that it's basically impossible to actually enjoy the internet, even for those who used to enjoy it.

 No.222969

I just don't know what to do anymore. There's nowhere left that's untouched, and even if there were it would quickly be overrun by normalfags looking for nuggets of weirdo gold to take back to their normalfag communities and gloat over. It's really pointless.

 No.222971

>>222969
There is no line between weirdo and normalfag, your problem is the belief one is mutually exclusive of the other.

 No.222988

>>222971
What do you mean by that? Normalfags certainly regard anyone not involved in sexual activities as weird, probably more than they regard as weird the assorted freaks wandering the streets these days.

 No.222990

>>222988
What I mean is that someone can be both “weird” in some ways and a true normalfag in others.

 No.223000

>>222990
But then they are just normalfag.

 No.223004

File: 1593101643471.jpeg (143.46 KB, 1920x1080, 16:9, 41652AC1-FDE1-4294-A5D0-C….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

>>223000
Well I’ve lead you to the water, it’s your decision to drink.

 No.223033

>>222969
There really isn't anything left. The only two things keeping me in this worthless existence is not wanting to break my parents' heart and watching society wreck itself.

 No.223110

>>222971
>>222990

Agreed. And, honestly, I think wizchan itself is the best example of this. In some cases, take away the factor of a wizard's virgin status and they'd literally be no different than just a typically obnoxious normal person. Even then, it really runs the gamut and all of us here, whether we want to admit to it or not, have our normalfaggot-tier tendencies. I wouldn't actually say that this is a good thing, since it means that there's literally no escape from normalfaggots, even on a site like this which is supposed to be free of them. Wizards or not, people are going to be people. And that's really the main, essentially inescapable problem here.

 No.223112

>>223110
Somethings are just inherent in being a human such as wanting socialization or sex even if it's fake, you can see the "asexual" having sex or the fap thread
Your best bet is creating your imaginary friends in your head who would fit your every single demand

 No.223115

>>223112

Some basic respect and kindness would be nice. That's actually more what I was referring to and is the sort of thing that appears to be too much to ask for even from wizards on wizchan, who can often be just as cruel and judgemental as normals.

>Your best bet is creating your imaginary friends in your head who would fit your every single demand


I'm not asking for people to be perfect, or to kowtow to my every whim. All I'm asking is that it would be nice if they weren't such vile, hostile demons 90% of the time.

 No.223151

>>223115
I'm not saying you want perfection, just stating the potentiality of an imaginary friend
There once was a tulpa thread here, so this is not a brand new phenomenon
Wizards aren't "better" than the normals, much like the poor who just have much fewer means to do what they want. Look at /meta/ where proxies, vpns etc are prohibited, real wizards are there and it's but a less loosened b

 No.223152

>>223151
And don't forget wizards who complain about their dicks

 No.223153

>>223152
Shut up succubus

 No.223168

>>223152
>wizards
>complain about their dicks
Those are crabs, not wizards. No wizard would care what their dick looks like or if they're circumcised or not. The crabs screeching about their dicks need to be bullied off this site.

 No.223184

>>223168
Kill yourself.

 No.223198

>>223151

I see, well fair enough. I remember that tulpa thread in /hob/, but the whole concept mostly just sounded like people wanting to induce a form of psychosis or schizophrenia in themselves, which doesn't sound particularly advisable, even with real people being as awful as they are. In my case, I didn't even have imaginary friends when I was a young kid since, even back then, the thought of talking to someone that wasn't there just sounded way too ridiculous, plus a lack of imagination on my part, which was already somewhat stifled due to the presence of modern entertainment, like video games and such.

>>223168

I agree that the whole circumcision thing is a pretty dumb topic, (I'm basically in the middle when it comes to the matter and will say that it's a procedure that should probably be done away with, but me and my brother were both circumcised, yet he's about as extroverted as you can get and I think the supposed "trauma" from being circumcised is blown way out of proportion, in my case my life is mostly shit because of autism, OCD and low IQ, not because my dick has less skin on it), but others are often bullied on this site for a lot less than that. Even just claiming that you're lonely, suicidal or generally having a hard time can lead to some pretty vicious bullying taking place. Some particularly mean spirited users here really seem to get a kick out of spitting on other wizards when they're down. To these people I'm referring to, if you're not some unfeeling, dispassionate tough guy stoic, than you're just some pathetic weakling who deserves every awful thing that happens to them. Mere weakness is conflated with being an in-cel, which is just unfair and cruel and, I'd argue, is a subversion of the very nature of what this site is supposed to be. A refuge for virgins, most of whom are abnormal or misfits that struggle with stuff like depression, not unfeeling ubermensch wizchads, who are far and away the minority and who are probably also just LARPing trolls anyway. It's directly sorts like these which need to be cracked down on harder by the mods, instead of them always turning a blind eye to those who take glee in tearing chunks out of wizards in a bad spot, who most of the time don't deserve it.

 No.223224

File: 1593396530168.jpg (101.05 KB, 720x960, 3:4, circumcision screaming.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>223168
The Copefag is immunized against all dangers: one may call him retarded, delusional, an imbecile, it all runs off him like water off a raincoat. But call him a Copefag and you will be astonished at how he recoils, how injured he is, how he suddenly shrinks back: “I’ve been found out.”

 No.223228

>>223168
Ban this faggot.



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