My mother constantly gives me "cope" talk whenever I happen to mention how completely miserable I am. I'm frankly floored that, despite me being an unemployed, super high-strung and emotional autist who's also a highschool dropout and has been agoraphobic hermit for nearly a decade and a half, she still believes in me and thinks there's still someone out there who could actually love me for who I am. However, despite all that, I can tell that she knows how completely fucked I am. She and I have discussed that, but she feels like it'd be too "mean" of her to fully agree with me on it, so she resorts to ridiculous copes to try and keep a sense of hope alive, which I think is more for herself than anything. Knowing her son is going to become a miserable, bitter old man someday with nothing and no one to care for him, is too painful for her to want to admit to herself, so she comes up with fairly tale notions that I'll meet somebody who will love me and that I'll be happy someday.
My mother has resorted to lots of different copes over the years. New age stuff, religion, lotteries (etc.). One time, about 10 years ago now, she literally prayed/meditated every night and wrote like a thousand times in a notebook about how she'd be the one to win the lottery she entered to receive a luxurious dream home/mansion. To this day, she still buys a lotto 649 lottery ticket hoping against hope that she'll win and thereby all our problems will be over. Thankfully she's not obsessed about it, not like that one time, but she still copes with the idea of our lives being magically fixed overnight. She still listens to new-agey meditations on YouTube all the time and will even leave them playing while she goes to sleep and that are all about shit like the "law of attraction". Literally you'll just have a guy saying over and over again to just visualize money/health/success and to keep visualizing it over and over until it happens. Like it were just that fucking easy. I can't help, but shake my head since sometimes since these guys in these videos say the dumbest shit, like "the most successful people just visualized their success". Yeah, I'm sure Bill Gates and Warren Buffet just did exactly that and weren't actually the cutthroat, cocksucking business men that they actually were/are. It's like the people who have lots of money are somehow suddenly "blessed" simply because they have it (even though they probably stepped on many others to get that money), while those who don't have it are simply thinking too negatively and it's their own fault for being poor. Again, I'm sure the CEO of Exxon is a very enlightened and positive person who deserves every penny he has and isn't, in all likelihood, just a soulless egomaniac who'd probably set their entire family on fire if it meant increasing company profits. But no, we should actually all just be self-absorbed sociopaths and only think about ourselves while focusing intently, literally every hour of the day according to these people, on magically "manifesting" lots of money and being rich. That's pretty spiritual and enlightened, right? It's such fucking horseshit and, to a certain extent, my mother knows this, but she clings to it because there's simply no other hope in her life. Coping with fairy tales and bedtime stories gives her hope for the future, basically.
My mother used to be really zealous about the new-agey stuff, to the point where she'd go into a full blown meltdown if anyone disturbed her "meditation time". My mother has also had a tendency to chase after unobtainable men and in the past she'd tried to convince herself that celebrities (like Colin Farrel and Jim Carrey, even Jackie Chan at one point, funnily enough) were her soulmates and the universe was destined to bring her together with them. She also became enamored with both my grade school principal and my high school science teacher. Both of these guys were quite tall, good looking men, (because of course they had to be, since my mother wouldn't "settle" for anything less, despite she herself being overweight and not exactly a looker), but they were also married/engaged to other people. When I was in grade 3/4 my mother actually pressured me to be the one to tell my principal that she had feelings for him, since she didn't have the nerve to do it herself. To her credit, she's apologized profusely for having asked/pressured me to do that. In any case, neither of them were interested and they both essentially had to take her aside and clearly explain this to her, so she finally got the picture.
To be honest, in certain ways, my mother reminds me a lot of the mother from "Requiem For a Dream", just without the drug addiction angle. Her constant fantasies and pining for a "perfect future" that never comes are very much like those you see exhibited by the mother character in that film. She can also be a bit Tomoko-ish in regards to some of her antics and the fact that she's a very shy/awkward person and that, up until a little while ago, she was as much of a reclusive hermit as I am.
My mother isn't fully delusional though, certainly not to the same extent she was in the past, which I'm quite grateful for. Fundamentally, she's actually a very intelligent and shrewd person and she knows the real score of things, despite her attempts to retreat into fantasy. She does rely a lot on coping, but never enough where she isn't able to reasonably plan for the future that will likely come.
It's actually kind of nice that my brother is way more functional and normal than I am, (has gone to University, will eventually become a medical doctor, is in a steady relationship with a succubus), since I'm certain on some level my mother takes comfort in all that. If it were just me, she'd probably be way, WAY more miserable and might have even killed herself by now. It's hard to say.>>222060
>My thirld worlder parents are pretty chill about my whole wizardy. I'm over 30 and they still tell me that I can live with them and they will support me no matter what.
Same here. I'm a first worlder and both my parents have no issue with me living with them for the rest of my life. My wizardry is essentially a non-issue for them. As far as my mother is concerned, she doesn't want me to be all alone someday. And I'll admit that I even worry about this myself. Quite a lot actually. The thought of being totally alone someday kinda terrifies me, frankly. And you know, I'll be honest, that, even with my parents around, I am actually still pretty lonely. If I could have my waifu somehow materialize in front of me, then I certainly wouldn't complain. As far as reality is concerned, I couldn't expect anyone else to tolerate my hang-ups and I couldn't really be expected to tolerate theirs either. Any relationship I could ever have with someone else would almost assuredly be a complete, unmitigated disaster. I'm a highly miasmic hermit. How could someone else possibly come to care for, let alone love, someone like me? I know this more deeply than anyone else, but that doesn't stop me from feeling lonely most nights and yearning for the embrace/affection of someone who could actually love me. Decided to spoiler this last bit, so I don't trigger all the truwiz(TM) cunts out there. If you happen to be one, you can kiss my magical ass. Maybe some real wizardry might happen to rub off on you, if you're lucky.