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 No.222891[Last 50 Posts]

The last suicide general has hit the bump limit.
Previous thread:



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Does anyone here have any information on the DeBreather? It got an entry in The Peaceful Pill Handbook. I heard it's a pain in the ass to order though, and some people said that it might be a scam.

Here's how it supposedly works:


anyone here have scars ??
im not suicidal atm but i did cut myself about 5 years ago now and have shitty cringe scars. no one else has ever seen them. or if they have they just never commented on them. it's especially cringe because if i did go out, i wouldnt do it by cutting myself.


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One of the articles I saw said he suffered from depression for years.
>Steve Bing, philanthropist and film producer, dies after fall from building
Steve Bing, philanthropist, film producer and prominent Democratic political donor whose producing credits included “The Polar Express” and “Get Carter,” died Monday.

Bing, 55, fell to his death from a high-rise building in Century City, according to a law enforcement source who was not authorized to comment. L.A. County coroner’s spokeswoman Sarah Ardalani said an autopsy conducted Tuesday determined that Bing died of multiple blunt trauma injuries and that the cause of death was suicide.


Just a couple of days ago I happened to find some scars far in my inner thigh. I was shocked and surprised because I did it over 10 years ago and completely forgot. Brought back interesting memories


Have the guys behind the Peaceful Pill handbook ever given reasoning for why they only advocate suicide for people over 50?
I understand that a lot of young people are probably mentally ill and not in control of their decisions, but they must be aware that some younger people might have good reasons for wanting to die.


It's for people with fatal diseases.


what kind of ligature can i use besides the rope, can any belt handle it ?


>what kind of ligature can i use besides the rope, can any belt handle it ?
for hanging btw


Probably legal reasons. If they advocated suicide for people under 50, there would be an army of concerned mothers and various assorted moralfags trying to get it banned and its writers thrown in prison for manslaughter.


Normgroids will get in a moral panic over anything they think causes people to kill themselves. Take Brett's Law, for instance. There was this guy who smoked salvia and killed himself afterwards. Then the normalniggers were like
Apparently it never occurs to them that he killed himself because he hated his life, and drugs are just a convenient scapegoat.



>signed into law by senator karen
Fucking lmao.


What are all of you going to write in your suicide notes? When I kill myself, I'm going to write a suicide note telling my parents to go fuck themselves for having me circumcised.


Because they are life-cultists and think that life is inherently good. They dont recognize life as an imposition and as slavery to society/family/etc.


i'm already writing mine i saying everything that is stuck in my throat for quite some time, there is three pages already !


What is some of the stuff that's stuck in your throat?


I've got a note about that long as well as my depression rant. 6 years worth of writing and over 50 goddamn pages of me explaining why my life sucks. It goes into what were my current feelings were at the time of nasty events but also delves into my child hood and even goes into detailed analysis on how I basically have no chance at life. That goddamn thing could get me sectioned but I keep it encrypted. I will decrypt the day of the deed and leave it on a flash drive in a plastic baggy on my body.


i could quote a paragraph in here but is not in english and i'm too lazy to translate


Just post it untranslated


There was a post here that I wish I could reply in time but I guess it got deleted before I could sort my mini library out. The idea of writing down a suicide note reminded me of this particular book and I’ve been trying to look up it’s title in English and share it here. Anyway, it totally disillusioned me about the whole concept of leaving behind an emotional manifesto, or perhaps a short biography, about the tragedies of my life to be remembered by. It made me realize that things don’t work that way at all. Nobody cares about me, why would they suddenly care about what I have to say once I’m dead and gone? That doesn’t make any sense. In reality, I’ll probably briefly make the news as that guy who inconvenienced all these people by jumping in front of the train and they’ll all forget about the whole incident a day after that.

I’ll leave a link to that book below. It’s a short read anyway.


I think it is useful to understand what the intention is behind writing a suicide note. Surprisingly a lot of suicide notes are angry if I remember correctly from studies and a lot of suicides involved punishing someone.

I always had this idea that if I wrote a big long suicide note explaining everything then the person reading it wouldn't be hit as hard if they just understand how I was feeling, that they could understand and agree. I didn't realise I had that idea until later when I asked why I had this compulsion to write such a long suicide note. I also overlooked that if the person agreed with my descriptions they might be dragged in to the experience that made me so suicidal in the first place.

Part of my long suicide note was also working through the thoughts of my own experience, trying to create language that set all this confusion while dealing with the urge towards suicide. It was for the other and myself to feel peace before suicide which is more important for the drawn out suicides of giving up on life after years. I stopped writing a long suicide note after that.


>just used google translate and change some small things that were wrong

[…]I am always crushed by the pressure of knowing that this "my best", far from the loneliness of the soul, is just an imaginal product. What I feel is like the afflictions that affect the saints in all sacred history, it is the dark night of the soul but devoid of the image of holiness that preceded the certainty of dissimulation. Lately not even sensory massages, like games, anime, manga and other shit are taking care of this misery, I just got out of a 50 minute gameplay of Team Fortress 2, but I intended to play all night but I couldn't because the feeling of repetition gets more and more intense.
A while ago I read a book that I don't remember the name but I remember a part that said that we often create a world to support certain illusions that we want to believe such as those based on the idea that we are in control, that we are loved ones and others things like that. Our world is based on comfortable hunches and euphemisms about the hardest facts of life and the future so why do we accept these lies? well, because we are not the ones who make the world, we just inherit a small part of it and are devoid of the rest. We cannot change the world to fit our minds, in fact it is the static world that changes our dynamic minds to fit it.
Life is unfair and it is difficult to accept it, but it is a fact whether accepting it or not the only choice is to hide under our illusions, but how far does this artificialism go?[…]


thanks wizbro, could you please provide a pdf of this book ?


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Would 1 or 2 boxes of Diazepam kill me? It's all I have right now. I need to end myself soon.


i hear benzos and alcohol mix can be fatal


you can't overdose on benzos, it's only deadly if you mix them with something else


I don't understand why people dont do basic research about how to die. It's your fucking death.


What are all the drugs that will kill you if you mix them with benzos? I read somewhere that mixing benzos with PCP can be fatal.


Why take the risk that you'll survive or be braindead with something that 'can be fatal'? you can always vomit it up and survive


I would only try to kill myself using drugs as a last resort, in case all other methods fail.


read somewhere that a belt works too, just don't know if is efficient as a rope would be


Crossbow or starvation?


This is one of the most failed normie things I have ever read on this site


I still don't get the circumcision obsession on this website. Like I can see being upset, but we have bigger problems than circumcision if we're contemplating suicide.


When you commit suicide with drugs, it is important to eat anti-emetics 1 hour before taking the drugs, like metoclopramide or domperidone.
Suicide by drugs, with the right drugs, can be a peaceful and reliable way to go. Read the peaceful pill book for more information on what combinations of drugs can reliably end your life.


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Intentionally failing CBT attempt:

I know Im going to get critized for this but I want to try suicide(PART of me wants to really die),but survive,to be given attention,gifts, better and more food(by parents),etc
I know ill be sent to the looney bin for a while,but I want to be treated as special and cared for,andmaybe ill loser fear and inhibition if i attempt suicide.

as I said part of me really wants to die. I have a chin up bar and a rope,but I think you need to cook the rope to make it effective?


is this suposed to be a joke ? because i'm laughing


Im being serious,I want to be catered to and served like a sovereign


What does cock and ball torture have to do with anything?


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Bro. What you've written. It's utterly retarded. So. Please don't do it. If you really wanna KYS then do it silently, without telling anyone, Like da fucking Boss


ctb means cease to breath
imeant CTB not CBT
retards are the next step of human evolution;low-inhib and strong


Because fighting against circumcision is a good Effective Altruist cause. If the normies get the idea that their sons might kill themselves to get revenge for being circumcised, it might convince a few of them to not mutilate their sons. I'm going to kill myself no matter what, and I would rather kill myself and potentially prevent the suffering of millions of boys than kill myself and do nothing.



>Because fighting against circumcision is a good Effective Altruist cause.
Honestly this. It's one of the few things where the absolute eradication of the practice would have zero downsides.


Damnit, my bad. Accidentally prematurely posted. I stand against circumcision as well, but I think as long as there's a religious necessity for it for a prominent group of people, there is going to be no easy fix (especially when such a prominent group of people has a very very strong political presence).


Literally only jews "need" to do it. I don't know of any other religious group that says to do it in scripture. All the muslims and christians that do it just do it because penises are icky and blind tradition. Also no government has ever had a problem banning shit just cause someone does it for religion.


Maybe governments run by Gentiles.


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Australia managed to do it. Newborn circumcision is now banned in Australian public hospitals. If parents want to have their sons circumcised, they have to get a mohel or go to a private hospital to do it. In the US, one way to bring down circumcision rates would be to make it no longer covered by health insurance/Medicaid. If everyone had to pay hundreds of dollars out of pocket to get their sons' dicks chopped, a lot of people probably wouldn't do it.


thoughts on drowning?
there's a lot of filthy water to dive into, I was thinking dive as deep as I can then start to swallow water, sounds perfect in theory and easy to commit.


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Drowning is one of the most painful suicide methods. If you do it, I suggest getting drunk or taking some kind of drug beforehand to numb the pain.


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Would going to the Grand Canyon and jumping into it be a good way to kill yourself?


would sticking one's head in a beehive and calling the residents faggots really loudly be a good way to kill yourself?

any thoughts on inserting a needle into a major artery so it caues lots of inernal bleeding?

greetings fellow wizards after i am done posturing about being such a good and caring son to my dipshit breeders im going to kill myself by stuffing bubblegum down my dick

hey guys Im gonna die from reading DUMBASSES post DUMBASS SHIT. want to die? buy gun, barrel in mouth diagonal towards back of head OR position knife in front of throat / heart and fall towards ground so it pushes the knife in OR jump head-first from tallest building you have access to onto sidewalk bricks or asphalt OR hang yourself its really not that hard


yeah lying in the woods with broken legs until you die from exposure or coyotes sounds fun


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I am going to kill myself by drinking a lot of water


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Failing a suicide attempt means the following in many places:
>5150 hold. This is not a sympathetic situation. This is a "Fuck you for disrupting our normie lives with your bullshit, stay ina cell you worthless trash because we can't be arsed with you."
>forced psychiatric medication that will–just read some of the other posts here about what psychiatric meds do to you. They certainly don't help, that's for sure.
>Everyone will be mad at you, they will not give you sympathy. Anyone who does give you sympathy you can notice the whiff of disinterest in them.
>The biggest reason: you'll likely be disabled from your attempt so that you won't be able to KYS if you fail the first time.

If you plan to commit suicide, do it like you're only going to have one chance to do it right, because chances are that you WILL only have one chance to do it right!


What suicide methods have the lowest risk of leaving you a cripple if you fail?


You shoudnt even think about that, but should think about what has the minimal chance of failure. Just use some minimal research and it will be fine, like youre not going to survive if you inject 100 times the lethal dose of fentanyl or heroin, or shotgun blast your brain in a forest


>suicide by starvation
>suicide by crossbow
>suicide by dehydration
>and now fake suicide attempt
what next ? "hey wizzes, does staying naked in Antartica jerking off to polar bears until i die from freezing or bear attack a reliable way to die ?"


He admitted himself that he just wants attention. Starving yourself skin-to-the-bones sounds like a great way to signal to others your complete resignation and get that pity without ever actually being in any danger.

Just cut your wrists. It has that shock factor because of the blood but you're unlikely to bleed out unless you cut along the arm. Enjoy being the center of attention for like a day, man.


Seconding shotgun 2a head if you want to try to do it right and quickly.


>just cut your wrist
there's a chance of cutting the tendons and losing the hand movement sometimes permanently


>tourniquet suicide method, you can die while lying in bed
one lays down in bed, and relaxes - one wraps a soft, thin, flexible cloth around the neck - a ligature is looped around the neck - a square knot is tightly done - a small bit of cardboard or chipboard, such as from a cereal box, is worked under the knot. The greatly reduces binding. - a pencil, pen, or other such shaft like tool is placed over the knots, and another knot, or two, is tied over it to secure it. - the tool is rotated, and in doing so the ligature is pulled tighter, and special care is taken to tell the shaft rest in a place where it will not spring up and come undone.


one keeps turning until about 20% of the total circumference of the neck is reduced from the resting state. Negotiating a turning rod around the shoulders and ears can be a chore. One constriction is achieved, the rod is tucked somewhere secure to prevent loosening


What's the best way to get heroin or fentanyl if you're an autist with no social skills or connections? How safe is it to order opiates from the Darknet?


That is not the worst of ideas. Freezing is a guaranteed death. Just take lots of alcohol with you and the pain will be tolerable. Of course with the maturation part, that's just stupid. I also thought about throwing myself into a volcano.


How the fuck is drowning not 100% lethality?


Ever heard of CPR?


Darknet is safe if you take some time to research best practices: use monero and choose a vendor within your country that has a lot of feedback


Oh, I am just going to try drowning in a public space with lots of people around so there is a high chance someone will put me up to the ground and reanimate me, that surely will be the safest way…


Consider that many tall things like bridges are over water.


I really feel like I've already outlived my time here, I'm just waiting for something to take me away at this point.


Yeah I use to burn myself, I got scars all up and down the side of my leg. Loved that shit for the longest amount of time and it's not as gay as cutting… Still pretty gay though


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Why aren't you supposed to browse in full screen?


Websites can read what screen resolution someone is using, which can help give a slight edge to deanonymization. That's why most Tor browser ship with a default resolution that they suggest you not change.


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every case of hanging that i see is by a rope, is the hanging by a tie or belt a myth ? is there any cases of hanging that use something else but a rope ?


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My plan is to workout for a few months and then beat the absolute shit out of my dad for being a alcholic
Deadbeat loser then end it as I possibly can't turn this around and at best will be stuck wageslaving for the rest of my life

What do you guys think? Good plan or no I just have some unfinished business to attend to and then I can go

Pic related my knocked out bottom teeth courtesy of my dad


>is the hanging by a tie or belt a myth ?
No, there are many cases of these. Robin Williams used a belt.



No wtf are you talking about man?


just wanted to say it does NOT get better you are better off killing yourself whoever you are
the faster you do it the faster the pain will end
the only reason i haven't done it yet is because i believe in an afterlife and i believe that i will burn for all eternity if i kill myself
im also a huge pussy
the pain keeps getting worse
i keep getting abused


Who is abusing you, wiz?


my parents
my family
my siblings
my "friends"


I'm a piece of garbage. Alone and afraid and angry and frustrated. I keep typing and deleting and retyping this post. I don't know how to formulate what I'm feeling. I know I want to share it with someone else, someone who is "like me" so I can feel a little less alone. I've been waiting on a gun for weeks but the panic buying has background checks backed up. It's a shotgun. The little parts of my brain that made me angry and hurt others will be nothing but red slime on a basement wall. Those other little parts of my brain that made me miserable and afraid will be on that wall too. My memories, desires and all that other worthless shit? Wall city. My parents think it's great I want a hobby and have personally recommended several firearms. I don't want to live to watch my sick mother die but I don't want to give her the pain of seeing her son die before her, either. I don't want to live with regret for the things I've done and haven't done and wish I'd done differently. "I wish I had done things differently"– the same words millions of people died thinking before I was born and the same words millions will die thinking after I'm gone. The least exclusive club. Maybe you're part of it. My mind is poisoned. I couldn't possibly live a full life from this point forward and find happiness. I'm just ahead of the curve by ending it early. What was I? A victim of circumstance? A hateful being carefully crafted from a lifetime of self-pity and coddling? How could I sum up my life? Maybe this post is all I need.


What's your biggest source of shame and what do you hate the most about yourself respectively?


how ? i can't picture


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What do you guys think of freezing yourself to death?

I live near a mountain and have plenty of alcohol. It shouldn't be hard for me to pass out with a bottle in the snow. It's certainly a lot easier than hanging.


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I always liked this idea. I researched it quite a bit a long time ago. IIRC, the only two major risks are the temperature rising unexpectedly before you've died and people finding you. They've been able to revive people even after they've spent significant periods of time out in freezing conditions.


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This is at the height of a carpark around 1000M above sealevel, I'm looking at about 0 to -2c there at night on a good cold night, with chill factor dragging it down well below into the -4c. How reliable is chill factor in sinking temperatures?

I think I can realistically make it up another 500-1000m, and there the chill factor is a solid -16, base temperature a solid -7c.

-7c should kill a person who's naked and drunk within a few hours right?


Sorry, I don't have my notes on hypothermia anymore, but IIRC there's a lot of easy to find info on all this online, including medical journal papers and case studies.

You don't need to strip completely naked to successfully freeze to death. Just strip down to something thin and comfortable. And I would try to camouflage myself or find a ditch to lay in so no normans see me. (Even if the odds are very remote anyone could stumble across you.)


How is that easier than hanging? Seems like a lot of hiking and cold pain.


If you survive and are found before dying, there's a good chance that you will have to get some of your fingers or limbs amputated.


It's not. It's just another way to avoid doing the deed as you can plan what gear you are going to take with you, how much water, temperature charts etc etc…



I tried partial suspension hanging and I always had my survival instincts in. I think hypothermia and alcohol would be a much easier method.

Yeah yeah, whatever, I'm just a pussy.


eye drops can put you in a coma state, if you drink tge right amount wich i'm not sure how much it is


beat him then kill yourself and let him know its because of him. that will fuck him up.

I was researching nembutal to buy but it's so samn expensive I need to wageslave for 2 more months to exit… I guess I will get Fentanyl since it's way cheaper. But maybe its better to wait..


As I got into the snow with all my supplies I changed my mind. I did a u-turn and my car skidded out and was stuck in the dirt. I purposely didn't bring my phone with me and I screamed and fell apart, everything changed. Suddenly my life was alright and it was worth living, the cruel irony of it all just overwhelmed me and I was a mess.

I managed to get out of the dirt and drive back down.

I can't commit suicide, I just fucking can't do it. Even when I'm abjectly miserable there's something keeping me alive.


You forgot
>suicide by drowning
Which seems to be a 19th century english writer larp
Will you attentiongroids never learn?


and also
>suicide by freezing
Maybe we can write a peaceful pill parody book which showcases the most ridiculous attention-seeking methods possible


We can call it the agitated pill.


that was actually what happened


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can i hang myself with a hose ?


Use a shoelace.


how ? a shoelace can handle my body weight ?


no, that's the point


Partial suspension hanging only requires pressure on your neck. You can tie it on a door knob and just ease into it until you pass out. Anything you can't rip with your hands can be used, like a charging cable, lamp cable, rolled up bed sheets, string from window blinds etc.


Thanks for letting us know. Hang in there, wizzie.


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>Seoul's outspoken mayor Park Won-soon, long seen as a potential South Korean presidential candidate, was found dead Friday, police said. He was 64.
Park's body was found on a mountain in northern Seoul, police said, after a search by hundreds of officers.

Emergency personnel brought his remains down a path in the early hours of the morning, AFP journalists on site saw, before they were taken to hospital, where succubi wailed as they arrived.

Police said no suicide note was found at the scene, but Yonhap news agency reported that he was "presumed to have taken his own life".

If Park does prove to have killed himself he would be the highest-profile South Korean politician to do so since former president Roh Moo-hyun, who jumped off a cliff in 2009 after being questioned over corruption allegations involving family members.


Thanks !!


i don't want a funeral, i also don't want to be cremated, what other options i have ? i read somewhere that i can become tree seeds


Indirect suicide takes the most balls. Ie getting people to kill you. Its simple but more painful, but its still the badass method.


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>save up a mil
>post a mil bounty on your own head
>see how long you can survive


What are best pills for over dosing.




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Pentobarbital if you manage to get some. You might have to go to Mexico.


Game over, let me die.


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Guide to partially suspended hanging:

Warning: Don't try this method unless you're totally sure that:
a) you want to kill yourself
b) that you won't be found for at least 30 minutes after you attempt.

This method is very lethal and quick (quick from your perspective
anyway, as you black out within seconds), but if you're found in time
and 'saved' you can end up with serious brain damage and/or be left a

Why partial suspension?
Because full suspension seems to me to be unnecessary and creates
difficulties. First of all you need to find a place which would hold
your entire weight, which isn't easy, and also you need a stronger
ligature, which isn't always easy to find either. There's nothing
wrong with full suspension, but it may not be a viable method for
everyone, especially if you're looking to use everyday materials from
around the home.

By partial suspension I mean that you hang yourself around the neck
(specifically the carotid artery), and push downwards while kneeling.
This should create enough downward pressure on the ligature to tighten
it and close the carotid artery and stop the blood flow to your brain.
All you need is 3 kilograms of pressure to do this, which isn't much
at all.

Also, with full suspension your entire body weight is pressurizing
your neck, and this would probably be more than enough to not only cut
off the blood supply to your brain, but break your neck as well. I'm
not too sure if that's a good or a bad thing. I do know though, that
statistically people who've attempted via hanging have more often been
found kneeling and partially suspended than being fully suspended.

Where is the carotid artery?
Before you start you have to know this. If you place your hand around
the middle of your neck, around your Adam's apple, with one thumb on
one side and all fingers on the other, you should feel a strong pulse
and heartbeat. If you close your hand now fairly firmly, you'll
probably make yourself pass out. It might be a good idea to try this
to make sure you've got the right spot.

What type of ligature?
You need a ligature that's strong, but not too elastic. It doesn't
have to be very long, 1 meter or more would be plenty. I'd advise
against nylon rope, string, fishing wire, etc.
Neckties on the other hand, are perfect Smile .

It may also be a good idea to lubricate the ligature with soap. This
would help the noose tighten even quicker, especially if you're using
a rough ligature such as a rope. Lubricating it in this way will
increase the friction once you push your head down and tighten the
noose, and could make it a little more effective and faster.

What type of knot?
A slipknot. It's one of the most basic knots around, and you make it
with one end of your ligature. The other end should go around your
hanging place.

Many people have the misguided idea that a hangman's knot should be
used, but they're wrong. A hangman's knot is for a completely
different purpose, and won't work for this method.

Where should I hang?
You should hang from a support which will hold part of your weight.

You should test this by tying the loose end of your ligature around
the support several times, sticking your hand (NOT your head) in the
noose and pushing down with it. If the noose holds, you're fine. If
not, then you'll have to find another spot.

A great and easy place to hang is from the thick horizontal metal bar
which you find in wardrobes in most homes.

When should I do it?
When no one else will be in the same area, for at least 30 minutes.
You lose consciousness within seconds but your body doesn't completely
die for around 15-20 minutes. The extra 10-15 minutes is for
preparation time and just in case.


When you're completely ready, kneel down, stick your head in the
noose, position it around the carotid artery and push downwards with
your head.

Good luck…


Just go on Amazon or go to the hardware store and buy an actual rope you absolute plebs


I'm considering jumping as my primary means of escape. Is it better to go face-forwards, or backwards? I assume that falling backwards would be better, right? The back of the skull is the softest spot, right?


It probably won't matter if the spot you've picked is high enough that you're guaranteed to die.


i'm gonna try it while in sit or kneel position, there something i should be aware of ?


You're probably going to shit yourself when you die.


It's well over the 150/250 ft. recommendation mentioned by lah.


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haven't posted here in yeaars

but people LARP and circlejerking about their emo bullshit

get serious lmao


Why is the shipping $750? How far away is it from? Did you choose 1 day shipping?


You just completely doxxed yourself if you didn't take extreme measures to obfuscate your BTC


Nothing wrong with leaving a little treat for whomever finds you


Autistic English succubus commits suicide after not getting support she needed. They thought she was faking being suicidal.
>Zoe Zaremba: Body found in search for Aiskew succubus

>TEWV Failed Zoe Zaremba - BBC Look North 13/07/2020


Can you suicide by not breathing?


Another day brothers. I feel like my brain is too damaged to ever return to the way life felt several years ago. Its like a physical impossibity. The numbness, life is so dark. But still fear death, theres no climbing out of hell alone.


The silver lining is that if your brain is damaged enough, you might qualify for disability and can live off NEETbux for the rest of your life.


Makes the news when it happens to an autistic female.
When it's an autistic male it's just another weirdo creep offing himself, if its reported at all its a footnote about mental illness on a local news website.

It's too bad either way being sensible human but also being that, can't help but notice that bullshit discrepancy.


>and… that's a good life. A life worth living. A life you should be happy about. Amen


That's it. You get a small announce in a newspaper when you die. Most likely not even that, she only got that because whatever randomness occured. And then you are gone and forgotten forever. All this is such a joke.


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She snuck out of her house in the middle of the night and committed suicide out in the Yorkshire countryside. It took a nine-day search to find her body. Her mother said she was an autistic NEET with no money or car, yet she still successfully killed herself.

I've always thought killing yourself late at night in the forest would be a nice way to go, all things considered.


Worse they get labelled as a 'school shooter risk'


I have vertical scars on my wrist but they're not from cutting. One is from suprising a friend while he was taking a shower in the other stall and i caught my wrist in the showers metal coat hanger lol


>suprising a friend while he was taking a shower in the other stall



eh. it's hard to get disability. their job is to deny you.


I was called a potential school shooter in school. When I wageslaved even people who liked me and often helped me said I gave off "serial killer vibes."

Sometimes it angers me, because I'm a peaceful mage. Other times I feel so disconnected from humanity that I sort of wonder if they have a point.


Living in the UK and thus not having access to guns, I've always been attracted to suicide by train because of how simple it is in comparison to the others. Jump from height is cool but I don't live near any tall buildings or cliffs.
Train's lethality and simplicity sounds very nice. Traumatic to bystanders and the traindrivers but I can live with that.
If I were to do it, I'd wait at the train station until a passing-by train arrives (one that does not stop at the station I'm at and continues going at full speed), and jump onto the track and kneel down with my head towards the train.
The only problem is, if you happen to be part of the 10% who survives.
I think you could overcome the chance to survive by angling your head towards the train or lying headfirst on the train track. Of course that doesnt help if your primal instincts kick in and you try to get out of the way and end up getting hit anyway.


Anyone have decent suicide methods? Drowning hasn't worked out although I'll try it again, pills require a lot to kill me and the lethal ones are hard to get, guns take too long to get, a knife is too brutal.


I wouldn't try drowning, it's supposedly one of the most agonizing ways to die.


use sn



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Another day, another succubus who puts us to shame!
>Olympic figure skater Ekaterina Alexandrovskaya dies at age 20
The Russian news agency Tass reported the body of the Moscow-born pairs skater, who competed for Australia at the 2018 Winter Games, was found in a Moscow street and that the “preliminary cause of death is suicide.”


I don't want to hurt the people around me unnecessarily; them somehow feeling responsible for my suicide etc. How can I off myself and make it look like a total accident, while making sure I don't turn into a vegtable?


Fuck washington post with a rusty screwdriver


I bet $20 she murdered an unborn child shortly before this.


Jumping from a tall place over your head is guaranteed death.

No need to care about other people. You will be dead . DEAD so please stop caring about other stranger people who never cared about you in the first place.

So what if the dead corpse mentally frightened them ? You get the peace. For fuck sake , think about yourselve for the first time and rest in peace.


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You should check for the crossbow method on here, guaranteed to ensure noone gets hurt, including yourself


Has anyone here tried to get the Chinese virus? I'm young so it might not kill me but if left untreated it probably could


it's just as dangerous as a typical cold, stop buying into ridiculous propaganda


the most ridiculous idea so far


Why not just go to some gay orgy and get AIDS? It has a much higher fatality rate, and some will even infect you on purpose for free if you just ask.



My previous post needs a little clarification.

I care about the people close to me, I am pretty sure that people in my family and social circle will feel guilty, if I were to commit a obvious suicide.
Hence I am looking for a way out, that looks like an accident to the people I leave behind.
I am not really worried about the people who will discover my body, although a "clean" death is preferred.


Suicide by dying of old age, none will suspect nothing


Life mocked you. Why do you expect death to be kind?


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autoerotic asphyxiation brah
groids will just think you're a pervert
shame on them for kink shaming you


Keep telling yourself that, why not try and drown at the same time?


I can see that man's nipple


if you care so much about them, why not live for them then


Did you like it?


Do you think ISP keeps a log of all the disgusting porn you fapped to? I thought of maybe going a year without accessing any porn before committing suicide so in the off chance that they check my history for indication of motives, they don't discover my humiliation cuckold fetish. I live in the third world so I am not sure how they do things over here. They don't care for privacy but I don't know if they're competent or dedicated enough to keep my history and go through it.


Who the fuck cares? You're going to be dead anyway, so why does it matter if someone discovers your fetishes after you're dead?


I don't get the whole thing with wanting to die, but worrying about hurting other people. You will be dead. Gone. Your worry only lasts until the moment you die, so all you're making sure is that you don't worry from whenever you decide to do it till the moment you do it. Your whole family and everyone you know could just as well commit mass suicide the minute after you do, or they could start celebrating, and it would be 100% the same to you, because you'd be fucking dead.


Should have died long ago. Its my own fault for trying to prolong a life that was never meant to be prolonged. Now im paying the price. Fuck this, there really is no way out.


i'm not allowed to answer that


There is a way out, you are just prolonging it


To me suicide's real challenge is the psychological side of it. I have failed suicide multiple times but I'm sure if I keep trying I will eventually succeed and I have some brilliant ideas to get myself killed. It's just that resolve that I need to maintain. I have to hijack that whatever it is in me that tries to keep me alive. I think only a philosophical approach to death can help. Previously stoicism helped me the most but I want something better.


I have scars all over and I hate them. It was from about 5 years back too.


>prominent Democratic political donor

More than likely he was assassinated.


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I used to write hundreds of suicide notes but during the last couple suicides I never even announced beforehand that I'd do it nor wrote any note. I just got the overwhelming impulse to do it and attempted it.


If I write a suicide note it's just going to be a list of books I think people should read.


What are some books you think people should read?


I purposely didn't say but since you ask…

Industrial Society and Its Future by Ted Kaczynski, The Problem of Civilization Volumes I, II, and III by Derek Jensen, any of the surviving works of Leon Degrelle, any of the writings of Arthur W. Pink, any of the writings of Ragnar Redbeard, any of the writings of … well I'm just going to cut myself off there. I have the whole list but I don't want to share here. It's a whole lot of books that actually make sense of what we see happening to people and society, history, and the big religions. I hate confusion and there's a lot of that in this world but there's some authors and books that see very clearly the why and the how of everything. Makes everything predictable and understandable, all our sufferings, all the misunderstandings and motive forces at play throughout history, etc.


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Have you read The Hedonistic Imperative?


Why, are you afraid that if you leave the list as a suicide notes it'll be tied to this website? I wouldn't worry too much about it. You can just post a shortened list of the most important ones because I am kind of curious.


>here's a philosophical treatise on why I killed myself, mom!

I hate this meme. Do you think someone's going to think you're clever because you killed yourself because of DEEP EXISTENTIAL PHILOSOPHICAL reasons instead of just egotistical and emotional reasons?


Is bleeding to death a good way to go?


Only if you have some sort of anesthetizing drug so it isn't excruciatingly painful, and do it somewhere where other people can't intervene and get you to a hospital.


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>I have some brilliant ideas
Tell us about them, wiz.


Please list out your entire reading list wiz, i need to have some good material before i go innawoods, thanks


dehydration surprisingly shouldn't be too painful, seems like elder people are doing it, in the end you get quite sleepy until you won't wake up


Here we go with fucking dehydration again, it's a wonder some of you don't die from lack of brain oxygen


crossbow mogs dehydration method


>I think only a philosophical approach to death can help. Previously stoicism helped me the most but I want something better.
You could try doing drugs to lower your inhibition


If you try to dehydrate yourself, you will probably be found eventually and forcibly rehydrated.


Unless you're a true wizard who lives alone.


how i can buy a gun easy? i want to shoot myself in the head


I get off to cringy cuckold shit too but I'm at the point of my life where even if people I know in my personal life find out, I'd just be like "lol yeah, it's cringe, but I find it hot".

Who the fuck cares what sort of porn you get off to?


Are you American?


order it from the deep web if you're not american


You can make one yourself easy.


Just make a crossbow wizzie


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Instead of building a gun, it might be easier to build a suicide helmet. Just buy bullets. It's just a matter of constructing a circuit and getting the electricity to ignite the primer of the bullets in the helmet.


Good idea if you're handyman enough.


Need help /suicide/ folks.

The last serious attempt i had was years ago . Almost died but got saved by my whore mother.

I am planning to kill myself by jumpin method. I usually remain lazy now and play video games. I need some tips to pull this stuff.

What should i do to have my energy and dedication to finally kill myself. Thanks in advance.


Play this while you take a running start


Travel somewhere where she can't save you


You could have your Internet shut off and throw away your videogame consoles. Without those distractions all your pain will come flooding back, which might put you in the proper mindset for suicide.


True, but you want to avoid attempting suicide in a way that's retarded and impulsive. Committing suicide effectively is something that requires methodical planning.


I feel sick to my stomach every night before I go to bed. I vomited two times cause of this. All they have done makes me feel ill.
And every morning I contemplate swallowing a couple bottles of beta blockers. I have them hidden away. I'm nearing the end I think. I want no part in a world that allowed me to sob uncontrollably because they wouldn't let me eat. A world that allowed my rights to be routinely violated. A world where they pressed plungers on a troubled and frustrated me.
I think I'll buy a few drinks and some meth and then swallow all the blockers, that ought to do it. What I wanted was so simple but they'll never award my prize. The good days are over and misery us all that's left. I feel like none of this is ever going to subside. I'm sick and I don't want to go on…


Bad method.

Try jumping , train or rope.


If you are serious about hanging don't do partial, mainly because it is unreliable and you won't lose your conciousness as fast as people says, or at least thats what I have experienced.


Can you feel pain while unconscious?

"The unconscious person may still feel pain as they did when they were awake. For this reason pain medication will continue to be administered but perhaps by another method such as the subcutaneous route (through a butterfly clip in the stomach, arm or leg)."


my circumcision had indirectly lured me into where I am now. If I had been left intact, then no suicide.


maybe shotgun was the best method all along?


I am gonna run to a forest and die from dehydration. Is this plan good ?





That sounds like a great idea… until you realise that some places dont sell bullets and its very difficult building a helmet like this (you realise you need more than some metal and a drill to build this right?). It's probably easier to buy a gun from a shady guy in the alley way than it is building this with no building experience and no equipment


I am a man and to be honest, I never want attention, it just gives me cringe. I just wish no one ever thinks, sees or even knows about me, even if I do something crazy or SUPER embarrassing, the only time I want people to see me is if I need it (example, emergency)


If you posted this without a vpn, and used google chrome (or internet explorer or opera), and accessed this using google, yahoo or bing, im afraid to tell you that you failed in doing that since the police will just check your ISP and get your internet search history (although maybe even using a OS like macos or microsoft is enough to expose you which in my case I cant even do that, you got to use TAILS/Linux mint/salix OS and TOR but you cant post here via TOR (and I cannot find any suicide method forums that are accessible with tor, I searched everywhere and asked everyone but couldnt find anything)


You do realise that to do that you also have to not eat specific foods that contain water (apples, bananas, pears, watermelons, orange, tangerine, etc)


thank you !!! :D


I'm scared shitless of suicide because there is a good chance that it'll mean I'll be doing so after infinity cycles of my life. On the other hand, I'll only have decades of crushing bitterness and disappointment.

Both options are equally terrifying.


There is no infinity cycles of life.

There is nothing after death ands its good news. No need to worry


Nothing doesn't exist.


Thats the point. You dont exist.

You are nothing.


Every excuse possible to not suicide


How about paying for a VPN to get away from the cops? Might as well pay for it to have a well informed and peaceful fucking death.

There's so many people in my country that the cops don't give a fuck about people 'wanting to die'. They're probably glad that there's people dying and the population is reducing.


>There is nothing after death and its good news. No need to worry

I wish so, so, SO much that that is true but I've been obsessively reading about ER, QI and MWT and I am scared truly sshitless!

I had always thought that, the universe may be cruel but at least it isn't infinitely cruel. I could've been very wrong on that. Had I been aware of the consequences of these things then I would've surely lived my life very differently. I finally accept now how little we know. Turns out that suicide may very well offer no reprieve at all! Terrifying. The universe is an unthinking and uncaring entity, so you can expect no mercy from it

My life has deteriorated to such a point where suicide seemed like the obvious choice but I think I'm going to keep pursuing life just in case. I'll have to figure out how I'm going to continue this shit life and at least try to make it as manageable as possible. I've never felt so trapped!

I'm crossing my fingers that the copenhagen interpretation is correct and not MWT, unfortunately we'd probably never find out in our lifetimes conclusively.


It's a fact your conciousness get erased upon your death. Even universe will die at some point and everything will cease to exist. Entropy guarantees that life can't be infinite because the plane of existence that is cosmos has a finite lifespan.


>what is the multiverse


Something entirely hypothetical.


why are rational people relying on multiverse meme theory these days? Don't they know it's made up?


>Don't they know it's made up?
Prove it


I don't think so. My foreskin is entire and I am also having my issues…

If you think you had some deep-mind trauma you cannot solve willingly, you could still try the weird ways:



Not him, but it's just some mathematical model that makes the equations make sense. Theoretical physicists do this all the time, "oh, adding 10 more dimensions solves this problem" and then some pop-sci tv show picks it up with the headline "Scientists believe that we are actually living in 10 dimensions".


>I don't think so. My foreskin is entire and I am also having my issues…

Wrong reply to post? I assume you mean my OTHER post you meant to reply to. What I meant by that is that by having my foreskin unethically amputated, it DIRECTLY led to me taking a *specific action* years down the road which will lead to my suicide. Not from the trauma from the circumcision by itself.

My parents had indirectly caused me to kill myself but now I'm thinking I need to not kill myself after all because If I only have one life and I have to live it eternally than I at least want more good or at least decent years to offset the years of torture I had to endure.

In order words, Let's say that 1 = good (or at least tolerable) five years and 0 = five bad years

If I offed myself now, than my life would repeat as
[1-1-0-0-0-0] but if I DON'T kill myself then MAYBE I can make it [1-1-0-0-0-0-1-1-1-1…] etc until I die naturally.

Or it could backfire substantially by making it like [1-1-0-0-0-0-0-0-…] and I increase the misery of my life cycle by extending it longer than reasonable which would result in a longer prison sentence per cycle which adds to more eternal suffering. It's a gamble of epic scale. Really unsure of what I am going to do.


Can you explain this schizophrenia in more detail please? I don't think i'm grasping the math behind it


It's not schizoposting, it's cold hard mathematics.

If you take a 52-card deck and shuffled it in a loop, you would eventually get the original configuration that you had started with. There is an INSANE amount of possible combinations within a 52-card deck and it would take a colossal fuck-ton of time to get where you started but within the span of infinity it is inevitable.

The Universe/Multiverse does not understand the concept of time as it is timeless but possible configurations of matter are finite. After Poincare Conjecture Time (10^10^10^10^1.1 years) or even sooner, a universe that is perfectly identical to ours will be reborn. Due to casual law, everything will happen just as it has happened in this universe including your birth. Consciousness and our identity are tied to our body so you will experience your life exactly how you've experienced this one.

Simply put, your objective existence will look like this:

[birn][death]{10^10^10^10^1.1 years or so}[birth][death]{10^10^10^10^1.1 later}[birth][death]{10^10^10^10^1.1 years later}[birth][death]… and this cycle continues infinitely.

However, seeing how you are purely unconscious through oblivion, subjectively you will experience the cycle like this:

[birth][death] [birth][death] [birth][death] [birth][death] [birth][death] [birth][death] [birth][death] [birth][death] [birth][death] [birth][death] [birth][death]…

Understand now? There is no beginning and there is no end.


so I will live the same horrible disgusting life for all eternity? fucking great,and here I thought that maybe death was the solution to all my problems.


I know, it was soul-crushing to me too when I realized this (which was not long ago)

At least, you can use this knowledge to your advantage. Hell, maybe we get to live varients of our lives both good in bad within all the universes we do exist in. It may not be an exact repeat all the time. I think this would be the best outcome aside from eternal oblivion which seems too good to be true to me now.


also, a good way to look at is is at least all the mistakes you've ever made were not really your fault because you were predetermined to make them. Don't confused determinism with fatalism there are still things that you can do to improve your situation and if you accomplish that. Consider discovering this as a major turning point in your life. If, hypothetically, I found this out much sooner I know I would've put it to good use.


It will be my copy, but not me


Nice attempt at math, but what you are basically saying it that everything that will happen has already happened and will continue to happen because le multiverse 'theory'
How does this impact me in anyway though?
I won't remember having to come back a second, third… infinite times. Plus it won't even be me.
Can you explain that?


Do you even entropy? Where is this infinite energy loop coming from??


Will 'you' be a conscious observer like in this universe? Even if you retain no memories of it you will still have to go over it repeatedly. Why do you think Nietzsche considered it the heaviest of burdens?


Every unit of Truth has Awareness. That's what makes it Truth. Truth is funneled through Fact to create Reality. There are infinite Facts so there are infinite Realities. A Fact lacking Truth is a Lie. Lies can be transmuted into Truth through Awareness.


Pure probability. If things like Boltzmann brains are possible given enough time/chances, there's no reason why a new Big Bang or a spontaneous entropy decrease couldn't either.


god, it all makes sense now. Why can't we just die forever? Eternal death doesn't even make sense in any universe with or without a god. I wish I had thought more about this earlier on yet for some reason I hadn't. I liked to philosophize but for some reason the thought never occurred to me that something like this was true.

Eternal Return sounds even more nihilistic than just pure nothingness. A lot more painful too.


>You are a moron so you should just kill yourself


>multiverse theory
Do you understand what the word theory means? >>225548


Stop larping, this is is multiversewiz answering himself


if 1=tri and 2=angle
See, i did the MATH!!


>I don't know the difference between a valid argument and a sound argument: The Post


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all these fucking excuses. Thank g-d i understand that when i die i go back to the void (even Schopenhauer believed this) and that is enough for me, it's even preferable to the shit life i have been living. Deep sleep while it lasts is not different from death.


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suicide.wiki is archived on archive.org, archive.today, and pastebin.com:



Poincare recursion implies at some point a sudden (but extremely rare) drop in entropy.

Think of a chamber filled with gas, the gas molecules will bounce around in a seemingly chaotic manner but given infinite time all of the gas molecules will end up in one corner.

Trust me, man, this idea is the last thing I'd ever want so if you can convince me of it's error I would be forever grateful.


>Poincare recursion
This is above my paygrade now


Do you worship 0 as well? You should try void meditation, it is very nice.


What does worshipping zero mean? What is void meditation?


Shits getting nearer. I think its safe to say fate is real, what I dont understand is how I became so helpless. Cant believe all the shit thats gone, something went horribly wrong at some point for a lot of us.


The beginning of the end for me was at 22 and that didn't come to the foreground until 26.

I'm not superstitious but man, it does make me think about how my life played out. It gives the illusion that there is a higher power and it/they toy with us for their amusement.


It's not an illusion, how can you even think it is? It makes sense, almost completely.


It really is. It's humanity's cognitive bias that projects intelligence onto an unthinking and unfeeling universe.


I've never really gotten the impression that there was any higher power that cared about me st all in a negative or positive way. My life has been so completely pointless and devoid of any real coherent narrative or even many significant events. It seems like I'm just a bad roll of the dice. If there is a God or Gods I think the attitude of these higher powers towards humans is mostly disdainful. Like how you might roll a character in an RPG and then end up re-rolling because the stats were bad, and not even think twice about it.

The more I learn about the world the more it seems to be the case that reality is brutally Darwinian, and all the human inventions of civilization haven't fundamentally changed that. The only change is that the essentials of life are mostly provided for, at least in exchange for some labor power, and the trait selection is more artificial than natural. If you are really poorly adapted to the current cultural circumstances, you won't die but you will suffer a lot. Because of all the morality and taboos around death that our culture has developed (for good adaptive reasons), it's almost impossible to die. There are so many police and social workers and different organizations that will stop you from dying in street or killing yourself, but that's more or less where their empathy ends.


True, maybe your life is the blink of an eye for a higher power, it's just the 'you' inside that feels 80 years of suffering.
Pretty brutal if you ask me


>chain of events, related consequences

I just blame God for everything. It's easier to me being upset with a single entity than with some other humans who are also tied to the force of destiny.

If you believed in destiny, such a headache would not be inside you like so. I mean, our choices are nto so free, since we lack knowledge and power in some or other aspect, always.

I say this because you seem to have fallen to the illusion that your fate is entirely decided by you


Going to end it soon


Do you guys think about revenge?


Yesterday I went for a night walk and at some point a truck drove towards my direction. All I had to do was a single quick movement and life as I knew it would have ended after throwing myself in front of the truck. The only reason I didn't do it because I was afraid I might survive and end up a cripple.


> The only reason I didn't do it because I was afraid ~~I might survive and end up a cripple.~~


I want to kill myself to get revenge against my parents for having me circumcised.


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How hard would it be to kill yourself using nitrous oxide?


I do sometimes because I feel angry, but then I realize there isn't really anyone I could get revenge against. Most of my problems are due to big societal structures that I could never destroy or even damage. I try to kill a bunch of random people or some politicans or bankers or something but I don't see any point in doing that. It won't really change anything and it would probably be very difficult and traumatic for me to do. There's no way for me to change the world or get revenge. I just want to disappear from this existence and not be a part of this world.


>Daisy Coleman: Assault survivor in Netflix film takes own life
Daisy Coleman, one of the subjects of the 2016 Netflix documentary “Audrie & Daisy,” died by suicide on Tuesday, according to her mother, Melinda. Coleman was 23.
Coleman’s body was found after her mother asked police to conduct a welfare check.


? I'm not a zoomer so I don't know what you're talking about.


I think you should read Dostoyevsky and come back to me with that question


i'm afraid to kill myself i want somebody to kill me.


post your address, I can come over and shoot you through the head with a .22 as you sleep


We live in a society.


I doubt that.


Phenazepam (benzos) + rispiridone + alcohol. Is it a good combo? What doze should I take to make it quick?


You'll just vomit, it's stupid. At least add some anti-emetic if you want -some- chance that it'll work


i've tried partial hanging yesterday, used a necktie, did everything right, but couldn't pass out, just felt like my head will explode and my eyes pop out of my face, i've tried several times, stayed a minute in that position and nothing happened, what i did wrong ?


Are you putting all your weight on your neck?


You're from Russia?


It does not matter where he's from and as such your post is utterly irrelevant to the discussion.


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Has this kind of "Get busy living or get busy dying" advice ever helped anyone here?
>The facts of life: Your survival instinct is more powerful than your complaints about life (if not you would be dead). Given that this will continue, the task is to find the most pleasant way of living a life. Complaining is not a pleasant way to live a life.


What if youre so fucked up and environmentally impoverished that its simply impossible to live comfortably? I mean youve got a choice, you either continue to rot in a miserable state and tried to hold your bark together or just take a gamble at life. Trouble is that once you leave your comfort zone you know youre going to be subject to all kinds of horrible shit. Then theres the state where you simply cant get up. Youre just pinned down like a leper and forced to live in an anxious numbness.

Honestly I dont know what the fuck to do. Life is so heavy, its such a weight and if youre alone, and also very afraid of people. Its a miserable life. Most days just doing everything you can to cope and avoid trouble but you know it will come. Eventually youll be forced into suicide or murdered. People werent supposed to live alone. Overpopulation has led to many people suffering alone. Its a shit way to live.


Yes, i try to live like this, but the desire to rot is overpowering, i have to even force myself to shower and defecate


>People werent supposed to live alone.
This is a meme. Tell that to one of the oldest living traditions in history, eremitism


It's just a meaningless quote. Everyone has (comparatively) good and bad times in life and spends some time complaining. Nobody spends 100% of their time trying to better their situation, in fact most people just survive based on luck and connections and don't even realize why they are successful, then they decide afterwards it's because they worked hard as a rationalization. Most people have no idea how the world works or even how their own minds work and just stumble around blindly following instincts and repeating things that people around them have said.


Basically it just means you need to have meaning in your life. Meaning comes from moving towards goals. It's enjoyable if you actually get fully into it.


I feel odd because I 100% believe in the afterlife, but I am terrified of living eternally and I want to be obliterated after death. Most people I imagine feel the opposite. I am terrified of killing myself because of some after life punishment or reincarnation business


completely nonsensical

just because the survival instinct has been stronger so far doesnt mean it will always be the case. Complaining can also lead to improvements.

I dont see how your comment makes any sense either, seems completely unrelated


I’m not writing one


yes, i found out that i was compressing the jugulars, not the carotid…


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I've been toying with the thought of suicide many years, and only recently have come around to believing in the afterlife.

I'm surprised just as much as you are - in that, if you have the capacity to believe in the afterlife, then you have the capacity to see the beauty in the world, and the capacity to live. It's a domino effect.

Eternal life can be scary, I can see - but as I've only accepted the afterlife, or great beyond, some semblance of it, I cannot comment. Maybe our meaning of 'afterlife' differs here.

You show that just believing in the afterlife is not what is necessary to push forward, but to bend this strength-to-believe in many other parts of what is. In this case, a resolve in your ability to endure.
It's as if a circuit lit up in my head, to where things once hopeless are now only crumbs.

It's only been a couple of days since my flip in thinking toward optimism, so we shall see.
If anything, I'm terrified of losing this hearth of meaning.
If anything, I hope I can hold onto it to share what I mean.

There is so much more to the systems we're in.

My fiftieth year had come and gone,
I sat, a solitary man,
In a crowded London shop,
An open book and empty cup
On the marble table-top.
As on the shop and street I gazed
My body of a sudden blazed;
And twenty minutes more or less
It seemed, so great my happiness,
That I was blessed and could bless.


It’s strange how moments of spiritualism seem to sometimes appear randomly in life. I’ve had similar times of optimism where everything seemed clear and good, but they always went away with time. Buddhas and Hindoos and spiritualists of all flavors talk about ideas of awakening to enlightenment through meditation, yoga, breath, prayer, or rituals, but I’ve never had any luck with any of them. I hope your happy days continue, and thanks for sharing them with us, but I’m currently still trapped in pessimism and anhedonia.


If I had to describe what it took to get out of the chains of pessimism, it would not be a singular belief in things like the afterlife. Although it was the basis.

Religion seems to give a framework. The literal stories becomes secondary to what they grant you, the perceptions.
It's amusing because every religion gives the eerily similar perceptions.
To say there's Something Beyond it all.
To flatten the current worries we have, yet not invalidate this life as useless (although some religions take a sinister turn here). If anything, heighten it.

And so to leave pessimism behind, one needs flexibility. Looking at the ways religions are structured, it's to get you closer to that through implied ideas.
But it's weird, for some never do acquire the perceptions, only a fervent belief in their religion above all else's, and still fall into the same traps these religions wish you to dodge.
Here are ideas that give me flexibility, a mixture of fact and intuition, very loose:
1. There is more to this world than we know, and much more to you than you know. There are hidden secrets and wonders in the world that we just ignore in the often rooted perception of reality.
2. This is all temporary so don't tread so closely and lose yourself in desires, peoples, sins (for this cultivates an attachment that blocks you away from the larger views).
But don't discount them. If anything relish who and what you do have. Religions guard against desires for you can lose your connection to the world at large, as it comes with feelings of longing among the unprepared that usurps gratitude and appreciation. Indulging in gratitude never kills your connection, it doesn't seem. And yet in lieu of that, note that all equalizes in the end, in this temporary dimension.
3. There is a continuity and imbued meaning in why we're here through ideas such as the afterlife, among other mysteries. And in these hidden ideas one can discover there is so much one can discover and do.
4. How absurd it is to be alive, to see things. One begins to give way to magic, the paranormal, the incredulity of souls. And one begins to see the current narratives that prop our world (and yet without religion at the front of everything, it's quite easy to resent it all). This is not to say you need A Religion to guard yourself, but instead the perceptions, maybe.

My switch in faith wasn't through any sort of leap. I would instead describe it as a fall, something one trips into as the cracks of rationality come up in the asphalt.
To fall into place due to our current limits of comprehension (not to say they can't be passed. Optimism, right?).
To be humble as one falls. Most men in the last several generations fight for meaning their whole lives through imperfect hands. Taking their immediate perceptions as the only way to construct it, and vehemently denying all built otherwise. That's the folly, for life isn't about finding meaning. It's already there for who is humble enough to note the folly around such pains, or maybe the folly in our rational, cold steps. When was the last time you looked at a plant and saw it as alive? Neighbors all around us, and yet in rational roots they're just things to cut and maintain.

Things don't certainly seem all good though. I still think about those born into prisons of bodies. Torture. Someone slashing your eyes out, carving into you, detaching your genitals. These are very real issues, there's no escaping its misery.
To be born a slave, or abused since birth. To feel worthless. To see babies killed, and people denied love through things outside of their control. War and all - what sort of faith could justify this?
I often think that optimism requires a blind eye toward the disgusting parts of our world. That you could break under the conditions some people go through.
There's a sentiment out there that only the truly aware will always be melancholic.

So to challenge this newfound optimism, I would ask myself, if I were tortured everyday, would I still want to live? Lost my eyesight or my limbs, other organs? At first glance, certainly not. A mild despair filled me at first. Yet as you meditate on it more, this fundamental Belief has me think there are still things worth experiencing. Or I feel a current of gratitude for all that I've experienced thus far, and wouldn't mind dying through this torture. To be thankful one even has eyesight, or four functioning limbs - yet if one lost these, one still does not lose hope in the face of the temporary. All equalizes. There is much more to this world, and found in the Great Beyond, whatever form you want that to take. This strength and flexibility comes from the facts above, all of them. The mixture of how there's still meaning that holds close to us and waits beyond us. And to keep a small distance from all that transpires. Yet only so distant so you never tarnish the heart's aim that is set upon the Great beyond. But it doesn't mean the tears and screaming don't mean anything.

When you think of all the lives before you, as one gives way to spiritual matters, no longer do they seem like gnawing irrelevancies. Thinking of those before us going through the same troubles and they just stop moving filled me with a horrible confusion as to why anyone bothers to live. That people fight their whole life for something, to make something of themselves, and they're limp in bed along with all of those that came to know them. Without the Great Beyond, the struggles seem fruitless. They had their whole lives, and some were just stuck in absolutely nothing. What makes ours any different?

But with new faith they had as much fruitful experience as we do now, and are swirled again into the Great Beyond as their heart stops. That, although they've put together so many puzzle pieces and the puzzle is still left undone, it was not all for naught. And they pass the torch onto us as we navigate these confusing realms. A mild amusement in the games we're playing shortly follows.

One needs both purpose and meaning in life to function, otherwise it's a slow rot. Something I've been familiar with. I was quite close to suicide before I turned toward, some would say, the irrational. There's a gun shop about a mile away and I wondered about it all the time. But it's hard to work myself back to the austere reality I once knew. In some ways, if I did take that on again, I would also don a hubris and ignorance ironically, despite the irrational roots in these new perceptions. The current rational outlook seems irrational to me now, as it just blocks out all that isn't Verified. How is that not conceited? A mild anger that melds into pity fills me when I think of those that are so certain of how things are, so certain that they are ready to put the barrel in their mouth, for that was once who I was.

Hopefully this gives something you may have not found in your spiritual transitions, or perhaps you'll find I am also just in another spiritual wave that'll fall apart.
Typing all of this out has me realize how difficult it is to convey. As I type it, I must admit, I feel it pulsing around, or maybe it's sinking into me further. The thought of torture still fills me with despair. It's ironic, in that, even in the face of afterlife, something still feels real lost when you do lose important parts of yourself. I think this is what I mean by a mild distance but not of total detachment, like some religions. But this despair springs forth from the rational root of "This is the only life we have." and that is one of the most destructive thoughts, I think. Perhaps this despair affirms how much life means to me now, but it also brings light to the importance of (2), for as soon as you give way to longing, the injustices of the world seem so close.

There are permanently-accessible experiences that unite and exalt all of us, despite of how little you have or how much you have lost.

Thank you for your well wishes and thanks to anyone that took the time to read this. I hope you may find yourself in those spiritual days once again.


>A mild anger that melds into pity fills me when I think of those that are so certain of how things are, so certain that they are ready to put the barrel in their mouth, for that was once who I was.

I feel a need to clarify that the anger and pity is not toward those who are ready to die, rather toward the general loss of optimism we all come across.
My hatred is how almost everything is geared in a way to fill one with pessimism.
The hopelessness permeates so many things to the unsuspecting.

I'm deeply sympathetic to those that want to end it.
It's your decision and I don't want to invalidate what you've gone through in your life.
I just intend to leave a different perspective that helped me.


I believe there is a high probability of some sort of afterlife existing, and life still sucks. If anything, the possibility of an afterlife makes the world even more disgusting. I just want out of this existence.


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No matter how beneficial I understand that this is for some people, I can only ever feel complete contempt for this variety of self delusion. It's unsightly. You've simply resigned and done exactly what you said you wouldn't do. You've accepted conviction and you've obscured your actual motivations.
I will not surrender to any bullshit acceptance or turning my eyes away from how genuinely miserable everything is and how low moral and living standards are. I will not yield to the easy route of factory produced, vain "meaning" and the perversion of language that comes with it.
It sucks and therefore I will continue to say that it sucks. No justification, excuse or reasoning is valid. This shouldn't be here.
Optimism will lead us right into the abyss with its sugar coated poison. You can be happy without optimism. You can enjoy yourself without optimism. You can care about activities, yourself and others without optimism, without meaning. You do not need to sacrifice your criticism of the state of being for comfort. It is not necessary.
I feel driven by the desire to prove to people that even when you are suicidal, even when your pessimism knows no bounds, it doesn't have to have any significant impact on your well being. I will prove this with my own casual happiness. It's always better to die yesterday and I wish I did, but I had yet another nice day today.


What if you tried partial hanging while wearing a backpack filled with weights or other heavy objects?


>A slipknot
>A hangman's knot is for a completely
different purpose, and won't work for this method.
I've just tested both and if you have a slick type of rope slipknot given pressure will loose. Hangman's worked completely fine. So what the fuck are you talking about?


Not writing shit, if i did it would all just be nonsense rants about everythingi know


It's a hassle but you can be buried without a coffing, just a dead boddy on dirt



the fact you went on websites with a vpn will make the police know the motive (if they ask your ISP for your internet history). You could perhaps just look up normal stuff without the vpn and look at "research" with it so they just only see random non-revealing stuff although I dont know if that will work or not.

Also you could just get riseupvpn or something (you can pay but you dont have to), if you're worried, you can delete the vpn before the "day" so they dont ask the vpn company to give them your internet history (whilst using it). You also have to use a private browser, not google chrome, something like palemoon or TOR browser is safe (but for both you have to change the setttings a bit, I suggest you go on https://spyware.neocities.org/articles/index.html for more info). Also use tails if you're extra worried, you can look it up online (T.A.I.L.S OS)


No, and it can definitely make things worse. I think there's just a big divide on here between people that are miserable and others that have various things going in their favor(skills, property, future inheritance, and so on) and there's always a need for the better off to reassure themselves give advice.


Slam fire shotgun if ammo is available. You can make one with no tooling at all for less than 30 bucks.
If ammo is not available black powder guns are legal in most of Europe for relatively cheap and they will usually ship straight to your door if you wish to. One of these will kill you easily. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3AcwNfpqSaA


The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race.


I'm in horrible pain every day. Just getting through a single fucking day is tough. I can't imagine moving out, getting a job or taking care of myself

I can't do this. I really have no idea what to do


this is not my words, i just ctrl v for the partial hanging thread on SS


Suicide is way more difficult than it needs to be. Tried partial suspension hanging and nothing happened, eventually it became too painful and I stopped.

Do I have like a fat neck or something? Just let me die already


how was your process ?

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