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Depression
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File: 1606885460474.png (898.21 KB, 800x1153, 800:1153, ClipboardImage.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.232937

Does anyone else feel too apathetic to kill themselves?

I am conditioned to accept everything that happens to me including truly awful things which wold leave others in great distress.
I am not strong mentally but have become quite broken.
I do hate living I have the means and a plan to kill myself yet worry I will be too apathetic to go through with suicide.
I am hoping to drink alcohol to maybe get a emotional response that will push me over the edge.
I am constantly disassociated and this helps me as my reality is a nightmare.

I have survival instinct kick in when I am hanging myself but my plan involved SN and I do the hanging to try get myself ready to die.

 No.232960

>>232959
probably I am a faliure and pathetic at everything in life but I am working on over coming this with self harming and stuff..
>>232944
>God I wish the mods kept you banned.
I think you have the wrong person wiz.

 No.232961

File: 1606897134828.png (351.39 KB, 628x433, 628:433, フランケンシュタインとモンスター.png) ImgOps iqdb

>>232937
>I am conditioned to accept everything that happens to me
As far as this is concerned I'm the same, although I don't know what "conditioned" is supposed to be. I just accept whatever happens because it doesn't matter. I don't even put effort into avoiding bad situations. If something bad is going to happen to me I just accelerate it or "add fuel to the fire".
>I do hate living I have the means and a plan to kill myself yet worry I will be too apathetic to go through with suicide.
I'm sure there're lots of people here with "backup plan" once they're ready to finally off their self.
>I am constantly disassociated and this helps me as my reality is a nightmare.
What do you mean?
>I have survival instinct kick in when I am hanging myself but my plan involved SN and I do the hanging to try get myself ready to die.
Why do you want to die?

 No.232963

>>232961
>>232961
>I don't even put effort into avoiding bad situations. If something bad is going to happen to me I just accelerate it or "add fuel to the fire".
I do this as well thinking it will push me to kill myself making everything a Win Win but it does not work when fully apathetic.

I do not have back up plan it is actual plan to die soon I am just priming myself currently.
I wish I could do it impulsively, I think I will just wake up and take my SN when I have to do it and pretend I am not killing myself.
I want to be with waifu.
>What do you mean?
Nothing feels real to me most of the time and I am unsure of everything as if I am dreaming.
I have a disconnection with myself if that makes sense, sometimes it is enjoyable.

>Why do you want to die?

Many reasons we all share and some even the biggest stoic wiz would concede invalidates the point of existing

Nice image what manga I cannot read runes

 No.232964

>>232963
>I do not have back up plan it is actual plan to die soon I am just priming myself currently.
As long as you're still able to go back on your decision it remains a backup plan. Your real plan is to sit around in a depressive fugue, your backup is to kill yourself once your desire to die overcomes your apathetic melancholy.
>Nothing feels real to me most of the time and I am unsure of everything as if I am dreaming.
>I have a disconnection with myself if that makes sense, sometimes it is enjoyable.
I have similar feelings.
>Nice image what manga I cannot read runes
Junji Itou's Frankenstein.

 No.232967

>>232963
>I do not have back up plan it is actual plan to die soon I am just priming myself currently.
>I wish I could do it impulsively, I think I will just wake up and take my SN when I have to do it and pretend I am not killing myself.
>I want to be with waifu.
And I wish I had something positive to reply to this sort of thing. Unfortunately there isn't anything I can say that wouldn't come off as a platitude or ultimately hollow. Besides, I know people who made it here have heard every combination and permutation of every "nuuu dont die!1" that it's possible to hear. There're not really any new permutations of words that are meaningfully different from what else is accessible on the norp-net. I know we're all talking to the walls.

 No.232968

it's funny how many 12-23 year olds have somehow been conditioned into thinking that mental illness and self-deprecation is the coolest and most fascinating thing in the world now (probably hateful demoralization propaganda media like Bojack Horseman are to blame.)

You are so obsessed with the idea of suicide and so determined to call yourself suicidal because you think it sounds cool, that you have decided to deem yourself a non-suicidal suicidal person.
I'm not sure if there's any help for a person like you who so desperately wants to pretend to be crazy. Maybe a father figure or something, which you sure won't find in the garbage media you choose to watch that's made you this way.

 No.232977

>>232967
One thing that helps or hurts is being unable to be certain regarding death in a intellectual way.

>>232968
I agree with your post I know that many people fetishize mental illness and romanticize Suicide.
Not everyone who leans towards ending their life is a part of this demographic though.
You make the claim I want to call myself suicidal because I think it is cool when in relaity this is not the case yet I do not even disagree with your post in terms of what most people are actually like.

Serious mental health issues and life problems are not to be fetishized and anyone who has serious struggles realizes this.
This is wizchan not 4chin /r9gay/ though so I would not treat all sadposts as if it was a young teen.

I was hikikomori years before bojack even aired.

 No.232981

I don't want to die, at least not yet. Not while I still have a roof over my head and parents who take care of me. This part of life is nice, wish it could go on forever. However I know I can't NEET forever. What will I do once I will be on my own? Will I kill myself? Don't know, probably not. Probably I will end up freezing to death on the streets. I can't imagine myself actually ending my life, I don't have it in me. I am too passive and inactive for suicide.

 No.232984

>>232981
Just enjoy your comfy life until you cannot anymore that is what I am doing also.

 No.232998

If you need some quick/easy motivation get some ephedrine or benzdrex from the corner store. Maybe mix it with some alcohol to feel more numb or help with anxiety. Good luck wizzy.

 No.233023

>>232937
I don't wish to die neither do i wish to live. I have accepted the fact that my life will never improve and that my brain will never let me be happy. I have accepted the fact that I am mentally disabled (or in less fancy terms, a retard).

 No.233040

I've no real reason to live. However, I also have no real reason to die. I'm just existing until I don't

 No.233055

>>232968
The fuck are you on about schizo, its weak and pathetic to kill yourself, not cool at all, and not glamourized by anyone other than teen tumblr thots with BPD.

 No.233056

File: 1607067345674.jpg (146.31 KB, 1000x600, 5:3, fr.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>232937
You're not ded are you OP?

 No.233064

>>233055
I switched to 4ch for a few months and coming back feels like I'm still there with all the succubi and chads around here.

 No.233069

>>232937
That was my mindset in HS, but now there are too many things I have to suffer through I can’t stand (getting old, working) so I’m thinking very often about doing it

 No.233106

>>233056
No but ws leaning towards offing myself last night like pushing through and doing it finally.
just went to sleep and have some DXM to take first.

 No.233114

File: 1607137523909.png (308.69 KB, 612x408, 3:2, wizchan.png) ImgOps iqdb

>>233106
Hmm, very interesting…

 No.233133

No, but I worry about losing my means of killing myself by waiting too long.

 No.233134

>>233114
oh wowie the attention to detail in this shitpost.
You actually put the OP image within it !!
>>233133
>No, but I worry about losing my means of killing myself by waiting too long.
explain what you mean by means??
What method have you chosen?

Ever tried to hang yourself? it is harder than it seems.

 No.233138

>>233114
Me on the right

 No.233142

>>233134
I've lost SN before by ending up in the ER with in my backpack whille drunk.

 No.234770

>>232937
I don't care about either as I'm too apathetic to even try making an attempt



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