[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ] [  Textboard ] [  Wiki ]

/dep/ - Depression

Password (For file deletion.)

  [Go to bottom]   [Catalog]   [Return]   [Archive]

File: 1607577373831.gif (5.19 MB, 332x250, 166:125, c2149932e68731c7fed31d8aa9….gif) ImgOps iqdb


Do you guys ever think that maybe you are Chris-chan?

So I have this problem with being able to see an objective version of myself, as in like how I come off. I know how I come off in my head, but there is a disconnect between what you and others think.

I know a lot of people here like to exaggerate their situation, but we're not really at Chris-chan levels of autism, right? Do you honestly think you are THAT bad? I mean, you're obviously fucked up, but you're not that fucked up.

But, is it possible that's actually what you are? You are actually so far gone that you don't even realize how far gone you are. That is what autistic people do, isn't it? Part of autism is being unaware of how you come off to others. So if you have autism, how do you really know how others truly see you?

Like you have an idea in your head about how much autism you actually have, but how come that can't be part of the autism delusion? Is it possible you are actually just an unaware walking Chris-chan? I mean that would explain more why people react to you the way they do.


I hope I’m not. I think people think I’m weird and they tend to be suspicious of me, strangers anyways. I must give off a weird vibe cause i almost never am given the benefit of the doubt. But I don’t think I’m mocked by others, not yet anyways. If it’s one thing I know is true it’s that things can always get worse. Rock bottom is a very long ways down.


>I know a lot of people here like to exaggerate their situation, but we're not really at Chris-chan levels of autism, right?
Speak for yourself I worry I am very much chrischan levels of being useless except somehow worse but not as retarded which is somehow even worse.
I have no excuse.

Maybe you should ask a psychologist or a family member that will not lie I do not think you are fixated and over worrying though. Good luck though with self discorvery.


>Speak for yourself I worry I am very much chrischan levels of being useless except somehow worse but not as retarded which is somehow even worse.
Yeah this is how most people here feel, but I'm talking about how you come off to others. Is it possible you would be Chris-chan levels of retarded and not even know it?


Some wizards demonstrated they might be one. They often criticize something normies do as "abnormal" while referring to them as "normies".


I think everyone here at least has some sort of self awareness that chris chan lacks. And I've noticed nobody with terrible grammar who posts in a stream of consciousness.

Honestly, considering how depressed, mentally ill and neurotic this website is, everyone seems to have their head screwed on right and semi-self aware. You go on obscure crabcel discords and you'll see some nutters.


>you go on discord



Gatekeep harder faget


>said the man whom the gate kept out


This kind of applied to me before I was 18. I had zero social awareness and would just blurt out things that came into my head all the time and then act puzzled when people shunned me as a weirdo. I also had very little sense of how odd my mannerisms and body language were. I didn’t have any diagnoses so I refused to see myself as anything but normal and became convinced that it was everyone else who had the problem. It took years of bullying and being unable to fit in to truly realise how lacking I am, but the flipside of this epiphany was that I became chronically depressed and anxious. I can’t be around other people without talking in a rushed and stilted way constantly fretting over saying the wrong thing or leaving someone with a worse impression of me. But just as you said I also have this constant feeling that I’m not even fully cognisant of the extent of my abnormality even though I have fixed ideas in my head of all the things I do wrong


And yet here I am, past the gate.


File: 1607652259209.jpg (66.55 KB, 357x756, 17:36, 1591932709495.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>would just blurt out things that came into my head all the time and then act puzzled when people shunned me as a weirdo
I still doing this thing all the time. I dont have any idea of a filter for the things I say.


>crabcel discords
Can you give an example?


This sounds exactly like me. I did this up until puberty and then after that I isolated myself off with social anxiety. Every situation I'm in, even if I feel like it was okay at the time, I analyze it afterwards until it is the most embarrassing moment of my life. Then it's just another clip on my highlight reel of embarrassing memories that I might accidently "trigger" into at any moment completely ruining my mood.


I try to minimize my interactions as much as possible. I don't see myself as a loser or weird. I see everyone else like that. My main "problem" is that I refuse to work as a 30 y.o. and I believe my parents owe me everything. Working is slavery and my parents created the conditions of my suffering so they are responsible for my well-being.


This sounds exactly like me.


File: 1607683452862.gif (593.8 KB, 400x430, 40:43, 2aae265e91a5aa59cefc8c62ef….gif) ImgOps iqdb

>maybe you are chris chan?

lol no, I'm very aware of what is EMBARRASSING and disgusting.


I'm ugly and dumb and very much aware of it. I doubt I'm actually autistic though as I don't have most of the traits, I'm probably bipolar though and that runs in my family.

My behavior itself is superficially normal and there is nothing about the way I act that draws attention to myself but in conversation my differentness or whatever you wanna call it becomes apparent because there are huge gaps in knowledge that the vast majority of people have that I don't. Shit like sports, movies, celebrities and other pop culture shit that normalfags talk about all the time.

And on the contrary I think people overestimate their "autism". A lot of the self-diagnosed people probably don't even have it. It's basically become a meme word for anyone who is even slightly different. But on the other hand I think people here might underestimate their lack of intelligence and overlook other mental illnesses they might have because they aren't memes like "autism" is.


Were it not for my medication, I could very easily become Chris Chan. I have been as out of touch with reality as him but there wasn't an internet audience prepared to exploit my lunacy during the worst period of my life.

I am a lost soul and this covid situation has made it impossible to do anything worthwhile with my existence.


Normals can pickup on your oddity quite easily, but don't be startled… It's just their little competitive spirit attempting to define yourself to them. They know that you're odd, but won't say it; they'll simply project it onto everyone else, making you seem normal, "everyone has their issues." But obviously nobody has your issues or else they'd be making a big public joke of themself just like you. People are closeted and stupid. Most of them have social groups that keep them on the 'correct path.' Trust me, normalniggers have nothing but themselves on their minds like most fucking animals. Ignore them and explore what makes you, YOURSELF, happy.


I'm suggesting that people defeat the desire to fit into social groups, as social groups are really an advanced form of tribal animal behavior (that even coyotes and hyenas participate in)


Of themselves, ultimately.. but use eachother as reassurance of the world… 'Us vs. Them" concept. Look at sociology and you'll understand.


Fuck off cryptonorm


For survival, yes. For sentiment, no.


Not that anon, but pretending to be a normalfag is a survival skill you should practice. Unless you can afford not to.


I don't know, you tell me, you're the one having a crybaby about me using another website.


No, not really. If anything my problem was the opposite, especially after I hit 15, I was too self aware and felt too much shame about myself. So all the embarrassing things I had on my FB account and on the internet tormented me, to the point I felt blocked and too ashamed to do anything. This went on until I had a huge identity crisis and decided to erase my ego, not care about anything anymore and just became depressed and repressed every emotion and desire to destroy myself.


yeah ive had Chris-chan moments but most of the time people just dont like how i look. i dont shave or get haircuts and i wear ripped t shirts and sweatpants most of the time. its actually worked out favorably in my opinion. if i look like a bum then people wont pretend to like me for my money and i can justify the nagging feeling i get about people believing theyre a shallow piece of shit.


I wish there was an objective test for autism. All autism tests are fucking bullshit because they all ask about how I think I interact with other people. If I am that far gone, how the fuck would I know?


All online tests are inaccurate. If you're talking about an in person test then it's probably a "meta-test" where they took a bunch of people they knew were autistic and asked them how they thought they interacted with people. Even though it's still subjective, if you give answers similat to how autists give answers then they can be pretty confident that you're autistic.
The test may also not be how it seems, for example if you're asked the question "I often cause awkward situations" answering "yes" would probably reduce your autism likelihood in the test, because autistic people aren't that good at understanding when they cause awkward situations.


Chris-chan is the embodiment of every internet user from the 2000s. He was once a dopey young man, making sonic fanfiction, trying to find love on IRC and making silly youtube videos for fun. Then in the 2010s he became severely depressed, and mutilated his cock, putting pronouns in his social media bios in hopes of approval. Then he lost his mind and started believing in retarded cults (most 30 something year olds with an identity crisis usually practice buddhism or some shit, but in CWC's case he worships anime succubi, but they're both bullshit asian timewaster cults so whatever). Only a matter of time before he suicide baits or actually becomes an hero. But the difference between him and /us/ is people will actually show up to his funeral and call him an internet legend when he dies. Most of us wizards probably won't even get a proper burial


File: 1609728989703.gif (5.73 MB, 656x368, 41:23, 20200926_053348_2.gif) ImgOps iqdb

Something Awful presents a dumb bitch can't take hint GI Joe fanfiction. Your rules are suspended, I win tonight.


File: 1610697968908.png (410.47 KB, 564x817, 564:817, EkuC5mKXgAgviMX.png) ImgOps iqdb

I spend a lot of my time reading about lolcows and undesirables in order to not become like them entirely
I've resigned myself to being a person that is lower than low, a person that is part of the lowest common denominator of people. But thankfully what puts me there isn't because of chris-chan tier autism it's more that I have no drive, a shitty job, no future, and all I do is consume media. I read books and like to keep myself educated but what good is it if I'll never do anything with it outside of my lowgrade narcissism


I think I probably come off exactly as I see myself in my head, which is pretty low. When I was younger I thought I was autistic or something but I've come to realize I'm not that weird, I just don't hide from people how self hating I am nearly as much as I think I do.



I feel the fucking same


Mentally, I think I'm about as all there as I can be with autism. It's the functioning part that exposes me, my motor skills are terrible. Can't tie my shoes. I can talk to anyone really, been whittled down by so many horrible social experiences in school that I don't care about embarrassment. Once they ask me to perform a task, it's a wrap.


I don't know. I just think it's freeing to let go of all self expectations and ideals of how you and your life should be and what you want to achieve and accomplish. As >>234762 said it is healthy to see yourself as a loser and low human being. You only care about not being even lower than you already are.


boy, i sure hope i'm not. like jeezus.


Anyone who complains about gatekeeping should be banned on sight. We all know, inevitably, how this is going end.


I thought about this last week when I was after a job. At one of the places I went there was an old female classmate. She saw me and I saw her. After that I took my phone and pretended to look at it for some seconds and went away. Thinking about it now, she probably realized I was pretending, and thought it was so pathetic and ridiculous. But to me it was fine. In my mind, she would just think that I suddenly remembered something and had to go. But I guess that's part of the autism.


Pretending is actually a pretty popular tactic amongst the normalfaggots. A lot of them are actually very proficient liars as they spend a good portion of their lives flexing on lesser-thans for kicks


I have to do this shit all the time. Take out my cell phone and act like I'm doing something on it so that I don't just sit there awkwardly and hopefully people leave me alone. But I have nothing to do on my phone since I have no friends, so I'm just scrolling around in the menus aimlessly.


One interesting thing about normgroids I have noticed especially from observing my family is that they will feed others bullshit because they know it is "nice" yet somehow ignore the fact that others are feeding them bullshit also.

My sibling was going out to spend time with their friends and these are people they barely know I asked if they were real friends and broke down how my sibling is ust being lied to as they lie to others and is really just using them as a tool as they are themselves to alleviate feeling lonely.
The result was being threatened with violence and tears because I was being mean somehow but I only pointed out what was already known.

The normal people lie to each other but have such an ego they do not onsider their own tactics are being used on themselves or perhaps they ignore it I have also noticed how fragile the normalfags are they may pretend to be optimists but for the most part it is easy to make them break down and cry by telling them the trusth about how shit life is I also had a sibling cry after doing that to them.

Maybe I am some chrischan type who knows


If you're self aware enough to ask you're not a chris-chan type. You're more likely to be a CobraJFS type who is a sperg but self aware enough to know people think he's a sperg. He can't figure out how not to be one and he'll never be normal but he's not so unaware of his situation he'll tell people embarrassing stories to own them on the internet.


>they will feed others bullshit because they know it is "nice" yet somehow ignore the fact that others are feeding them bullshit also.

They will also criticize other people for minor things if they can get away with it, but the second criticism is directed at them they all squirm, make excuses, deflect it or get angry.

Normoids are fucking disgusting.

[Go to top] [Catalog] [Return][Post a Reply]
Delete Post [ ]
[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ] [  Textboard ] [  Wiki ]