This always happens to me. Without fail i am Always the outsider.
now it is easy to blame my ugly face, and short height. In school i was always the ugly kid no one wanted around. relentlessly bullied and humiliated. I didnt like it, but i guess i could get it, im ugly, short, weak, stupid and poor. Ok, hate me.
But then you would get these groups of outsiders in HS: the nerds, the goths, the druggies, etc…
without fail, i was always rejected by all of them. the nerds, nope im dumb; the goths, im weird IN and UN COOL way; the druggies, i must be a cop even though they know me and grew up with me,
then trying these D&D groups, and trekkie groups, and weird un line communities, without fail could never make friends, people finding me creepy, no one wanting to talk to me, people wanting me to just go away.
There must be something very wrong with me, i have never been able to explain it or understand it. from my perspective i am 'normal' from the perspective of Others, i am like the stray wolf that just wamdered in the village, walking on its hind legs, they hope to shoo shoo me away, if that fails, bring out an Alpha to threaten some violence in my direction so that i get the point. You disturb the people, you give off your magical creepy vibes.
ok ok i get it, and off i go.
ehh dont feel bad for me, im happy being the weird wolf wandering around the dark woods now.
But, oh, the spiritual end, yea , i have some theories, is this punishment? maybe>>235551
this is true, i was left alone too long, that i now talk to myself like Tom Hanks in castaway, and find chatting myself superior to 98% of people. i only really want to talk with high iq people. artists, and things like that. dumb people i will play dumber than them and wander off