No.235998
My family.
No.236000
>>235997Childhood pet dying.
No.236002
Ever since I got out of jail five years ago I've felt like I've been in hell - not that it's been one bad thing after another, but instead an unending cycle of hope and optimism crushed by my own folly. Often I think about how I ended up in this situation and the superficial reason is that I make dumb, impulsive decisions that ruin any positive momentum I might have built; the deeper, more depressing realisation though is that I'm unconsciously predisposed towards self destruction. If it were just a matter of poor choices, then at least I could hope to make better ones. Instead I'm doomed to make the same mistakes over and over again, and this knowledge thus sours any success I might have.
I've tried praying and meditating, I've been to see therapists and tried to seek help. I even went to church for the first time in over a decade. I can't believe in anything for the life of me though.
No.236003
>>236002>prison>impulsiveAntisocial personality disorder?
No.236005
>>236003 I've never gotten a diagnosis other than depression/anxiety. Albeit, when I was seeking psychotherapy corona was in full swing and all the good therapists were booked.
At any rate, I don't think knowing my psychosocial horoscope will really change anything though.
No.236006
>>235997Ironically your statement describes BorderlinePD more accutarely. BPD in wizchads is usually misdiagnosed as ASPD (which is a genuine disregard for relations and affection).
No.236012
>>235997The human capacity for senseless evil and cruelty. It's what makes me want to get away from it all.
No.236016
Late night snacking.
No.236029
>a single mistake that fucked you
>at what moment you realised you're X
>what broke your heart
who makes all this shitty threads
No.236063
>>236000oh fuck that hurt me, might seem silly but I had a hampster and his death fucked me up
No.236066
>>236029Wizkids and/or marketers and/or statisticians
No.236070
Drugs and bad habits. Now I feel my heart every day. You know, the biological one.
No.236074
>>235997I hoped and tried too much for too long time that I just grew tired of thinking things (life/my deceased mind/ my relationship with peers) would change for the better.
I just came to the conclusion that just won't happen as an either you got it or you don't situation.
>>236029>>236066Wouldn't surprise me about marketers
No.236075
>>236074yeah man, the depressed NEET market just rakes in the cash.
No.236078
One of my earliest memories was crying saying I hate myself I must have been around 5 or 6.
There was a lot of trauma when I was a child I did not like authority I learnt to disobey even to my own detriment because if I did that I still had some sort of control I realy feel helpless and without hope especially as a child.
I am not a wizard because some succubus broke my heart I do not think that is wizardly but I do have memories of people being close to me betraying me or harming me for their own gain.
I actually had a friend who chose his succubus over me despite her being unironically mentally disabled and a bitch.. but that did not bother me I was glad to know where I stood concerning him.
Children threw their poo at me in elementary school I never understood why I was hated I was different I shut down I lived within my own world yet had no visual imagination so would think a lot and immerse myself in vidya.
Eventually I embraced being different and now it is respectable I can tell the normgroids envy my ability to be myself but the truth is I do not even know who I am.
No.236080
>>236075You underestimate the greed of business
No.236082
I've felt like a prisoner ever since I was a kid sent to preschool and as soon as I realized my parents were dumb. I was born at odds with civilization.
No.236135
>>236132Was she right? Have you managed okay without her?
No.236139
>>236135Sure, just in the wrong order. I still have my dad and I'm a NEET rapidly approaching 30. Once he's dead I'm just about fucked. I don't really see how her being right would matter, she had an autistic child, would get mad at it for showing symptoms. Smoked during pregnancy too. But wait, call in the next 15 minutes and we'll include a FREE pamphlet explaining the risks of pregnancies over 40!
No.236218
A succubus also the shithole country that i live people are shit everything is shit
No.236226
>>236218I hope you mean your mom or a family succubus ruining your life. Otherwise be gone evil spirit.
No.236245
>>236218Further proof that third-worlders can't be wizards. Just look at China and India. They breed like rabbits, those filthy sex havers.
No.236273
>>235997What broke my heart is that i'll never be anything. I always thought I was somewhat special because of my luck and how I lived for so long but honestly cracks of my mortality shows up and realize i'm just another faggot. It fucking sucks I can't be something else, I can't like the people in fantasy or a powerful being. I'm just another bodybag.
No.236276
>>236002What were you jailed for?
No.236279
>>236245This is idiotic, people on the US and Europe fuck the same, the only difference is that they use condoms.
Hell its even worse on the 1st world where feminism taught succubi to fuck pretty much every single male around and whoring themselves on OF.
No.236280
>>236279False, first world succubi won't fuck just any guy. They only go after a certain type of man, i.e. not the wizardly type.
In the third world, they'll fuck any guy because feminism hasn't contaminated their brains yet and gave them high expectations.
No.236287
>>236280Third world succs will fuck anyone with a job, hoping they get pregnant so they can put the guy on child support. Never trust third worlder succs.
No.236311
My dad died and he was the only person I loved in this world.
No.236316
Realizing that I had something wrong with me, and that people pitied me, it turned me against everything. I never had any real ambitions either, can thank parental neglect and abuse for that.
No.236339
Losing a friend I made shattered my brain worse than anything could have it is amazing even to me how i reacted I bet they never even think of me but it is all I ever think about.
No.236653
>>236132fuck adulthood. i wish i was more childish.
No.236716
Realizing things could have gone different if I was born different with another family, a well-estabilished family if you know what I mean. But things went south, now I can't change my past, my knowledge or the deep scars that sometimes still haunt me. Dear friends, the feeling of hopelessness is the worst thing a human could feel, it shatters your whole world
No.236754
Loss of a nation.
No.236779
>>236754Syria? Iraq? What African country?
No.236780
>>236779Christian, Eurasian nation.
No.236781
>>236780But condolences to once great South Africa too.
Actually, even those you mentioned once had great civilications.
No.236804
>>236081don't say that, i bet a lot of people here have nowhere else to go, me including
No.236819
Realizing I was different from other people, that and the cruel hand of reality.
No.236835
>>236000this, and grandparents dying. i was closer to them than i am to my mom. also when i realized medicine is evil now.
i dont think everything has a cure, or even most things, but doctors are like vultures. they do all this bullshit to people at the end of their lives that doesnt do anything and then give you huge bills for it. in my grandma's case, it was their own errors and neglect that caused her final month of her life to be 24/7 hellish pain. i hope those doctors watch their own families suffer the same or worse.
No.236837
Having high expectations for myself and not being able to reach them.
No.236860
>>236280You sound like you need to learn a little more about the world.