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Anyone else struggling with controlling their drinking?
It's scary how much I feel like it's taken over my life.
When I was younger I didn't have the urge to abuse drugs because I was curious about the world.
But now that i'm older everything just feels very empty and pointless.
All I want now is to just hide away in my room and pass time as painlessly as possible and hope maybe it will end or something new and interesting will reveal itself to me(fantasy).
Is it possible to regress into a more optimistic person or is this just what happens to people?
It feels like the only way I could ever experience pleasure is by directly targeting the transmitters with drugs, even in hypotheticals the only thing I can imagine genuinely making me happy is unlimited opiates/alcohol and a quiet house to myself.


Alcohol basically tells your body that everything is ok, even if your life is falling apart. Which is how it destroys so many lives. Without anxiety, and external ushering from the world, we resign to a life of lethargy, until something worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse happens…



I was an extreme alcoholic for years and abused benzos also I should be dead doctors are amazed I am alive but do I look badly upon my alcoholism phase in life? No as I would have killed myself if I did not drink and it was amazing to give up and drink myself into perpetual stupor with music and risk taking activity I would say that this perspective is rare I have as normies do not know what it is like to suffer truly and think that risking your life is bad as it has some value in and of itself but alcohol gave my life amazing value when I was in a terrible state.

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