28. It takes a toll on me too but not every time
good old weed never let me down. Not only can I relax but I can actually feel pleasure. Alcohol in comparison makes me feel physically terrible.
Weed’s good but it always fucks up my eating habits.
I just returned to school at 24 years old, nothing I ever attempted succeeded and I am sick of failing all the time.
Its really taking a toll on me, I havent had a single success since graduating high school.
If retard normalfags can do it so can you. Don’t give up.
Internet lingo and discussion corrupted my mind to a great deal. I exhaustively started using the internet for communication purposes around 11 years ago, I was 17-18 then. Before my life wasn't great or anything like that but I was kind of more of myself, a person who lives in his own little bubble of a world view and meanings, opinions and semantics. Now, this does not mean much as I obviously was still a child back then. However I came to the conclusion that the very form of communicating online influenced me in a negative way. This is including text, images and videos, from image boards like 4chad where I started in 2010, to forums and reddit and even stuff like comment sections on youtube, and of course porn sites, gore, personal blogs, reading about other people's stories and opinions,red pills and other colors, conspiracy theories, pol, life style theories, reading how people live better life's than me. The internet lets you forget your own life, it let's your own life look meaningless. I am drowning in its hyperspeed of information, there is always another source that let's me know that someone right now somewhere knows more than me, lives a happier life than me, knows the truth about how things work. It's equally pointless to read the stuff of depressed and sick people, how would that better my situation, it only spreads more miserable thoughts in my brain. People apparently know what's good and what I should do better than me who is sitting here with my own past but apparently according to the internet I should just listen to this random guy who knows something I missed out on. And what I mean with the form of communication is that the hyperlinks, never-ending content, endless amounts of people who think they have something important to say or do online, and always updating information about what is supposed to be important right now, what I should consume and what opinions I should held now, all these things never give us a break. There's constantly another f5 refresh button to be pressed and it will with no doubt present new information. All the while I forget why I'm even online and why I care about any of these information because 99.99 % of them are a waste. And yet there are some invasive ideas that infect the mind, especially when it's repeated again and again like all the useless red pills and hollow philosophical memes that spread like a fire and everyone adopts to these stupid ideas like sheep. That is, when they are in vogue. The general topoi, e.g. things that people care about and how they adress certain issues, of the internet seem to work in waves and these change every few years. Right now it seems to be in vogue to have mental illness. No wonder I think when actual children grow up in this swamp, they never knew anything else meaning they never had time to see the world and themselves their untouched by the hyperlinked society.
Very good post. I took the time to read all of it and agree with you fully.
I do wish your text was spaced though, so it would be easier to read for most people, and transmitting your ideas would be more effective.
But all the points in your post are correct.
Well obviously I cant, I am also sick of the NEET life and just feel bored and tired of everything, like I cant be bothered to either study or work or NEET, its just all some tiresome.
I'm trying to motivate you here.
Well then stop trying and rot with me.
>>241863>then stop trying and rot with me
bro that's gay.
I thought you’d like some words of encouragement but if you don’t then I’ll stop.
Transhumanist piece of shit, I hope you die
Despite recognizing all this it's still hard to avoid. The corruption has already taken place. Even though I know better I still will without reason go online. It doesn't help to simply say 'I will not use the computer or smartphone anymore'. What else do I have to kill time during the day?
But I am trying small steps and writing that post helped a bit. This is another instance of laying in bed after waking up where I could do something better like going to the bath and take care. Well I'll stop now. Small steps and getting more aware of what I'm doing and all that stuff
I am not that wiz, dont know why he feeps the needs to larp as me.
Can't see any future in which my life has meaning. I dread what's coming in a general sense (the world, my country) and in a personal sense. Might as well go with a bang, right?
Have you ever thought about what "meaning" should entail? Because in my opinion its just an attempt to rationalize depression.
What, you wanna be famous?
Why do I increasingly feel like this chan is worse than normalniggers?
That would be because it is
What are you doing insulting someone for having a low IQ or not being masculine on fucking wizchan?
The internet is just no replacement for genuine human interaction. In fact it makes it much worse in the long run. That's the price we pay for anonymity and an override of content. This place is probably the best for what it is supposed to be, but yeah… I feel like ever since it was down for a few days it got even slower here. Hell, sometimes I wish it would have just stayed death. Not sure why.
want to be freinds? we are similar
>>242032>want to be freinds?
friendship is a lot of responsibility
You’re so new it hurts.
shit brah my bad, totally didnt realize this was the meetup thread
going to keep this brief
29 years old and have been paying parents $600 in rent a month to 2016 and $800 a month up to now. I have never missed a rent payment.
My parents: treat me as a servant, threaten me physically, threaten to destroy my property, threaten to write me out of their will, spy on me with house cameras
What sort of legal action can I take?
It's hard to just move out when you're property gets threatened in the process.
Why do you have to pay so much?
I only pay $420 in rent to live with 2 roommates.
my parents do the same exact things, what gets to me the most is the physical violence/threats to kill me and the spy cameras. I don't understand why parents do this
Is it their house? If yes, move somewhere else and cut all contact.
It's interesting how every attempt to improve my life fails and drags me down closer to paralyzed depression.
I hope whichever forces control my life allow me to die soon and be annihilated.
i feel like my brain is shutting off and i will collapse. i can't think. i can't do even the simplest tasks. sleepy. want to die. why it's so hard to die?
I fucking hate everyone. And I mean everyone. Every human living and dead. I can’t fucking stand them. They torment me to no end. And when I seclude myself hoping to find peace of mind I find only that I hate myself as well.
the depression is always the worst for me after another failed attempt to improve my life. At this point I've pretty much stopped trying.
Dont like 97% of all Russians dodge the draft because the Army is shit? What are you doing there as an apprentice???
Btw I have a Russian exam this monday and I think I am going to neck myself, still dont know like 60% of the vocabulary.
the last time i remember feeling joy or satisfaction was middle school, over a decade ago. even then it was fickle, short-lived, and intertwined with being pushed into lockers and having my stuff thrown into urinals. please god dont let me wake up tomorrow morning. please god have some mercy on a coward who cant grow a spine enough to off himself.
I hate politics and I hate the overly politicized nature of the internet. I hope everybody who participates in this stupid tribalistic "MY SIDE GOOD YOUR SIDE BAD" nonsense gets their heads flattened by a tractor.
You can't escape it. One way or another they will find you, they will kick down your door, and they will demand you join their side or perish.
I can relate to this, school was terrible and most likely ruined my mental health even more but I felt way more alive back then
I feel like my spirit has been broken that I have to be forced working mandatory overtime because amazon is doing some stupid special for the week, get called lazy by my parents for not wanting to do it, so i'll probably be a yes man and never take a day off for the rest of the year, I hope they'll be happy and I hope I get killed in the job by some stupid warehouse, this fucking life isn't worth it, fuck this man.
I wish I didn't get so negatively affected by mom being mean to me. She was going to fry and asked me to remove the smoke sensor to prevent its siren from going off. I'm short so I couldn't reach it and wanted to grab it with a jump but it fell down and she started screaming about how lazy I am because I didn't bring a chair, how I just lie around, how it's broken (it's not) and how I have to pay for it. Said nothing to my sister of course and then she wonders why I avoid her and doing things in general.
Also fuck the government for forcing this shit since a few years.
>just remove it permanently
That's what I said but if something happened we would be liable.
My mother wasn't able to mentally handle shit as well and she'd have outbursts at me for almost any mistake I made. She destroyed a lot of things that belonged to me including a lot of toys I loved, sometimes not even in front of me which is really weird when I think about it now, makes me wonder if she just wanted to let off frustration or if she wanted to punish me.
Funny enough when I turned out to be the same mental mess as her everyone acted like it's my fault and my mother would get mad at me for behaving exactly the same way as her.
Took a lot of drugs today to try to alter my state of mind so I could enjoy things. Nothing happened. Not sure what to do at this point.
The void is growing. I feel so hopeless, no path to follow, no one around, nothing. No dreams, no ambitions, not a thing to do beyond self contemplation. I feel like crying though, after all I'm human, the sorrow of all this acknowledging…it never ends.