I have a similar issue where I can somehow make my way into groups in the sense that people tolerate me but I'm never truly inside the invitable cliques that forms
Don't retreat from reality. Accept it and adjust. Nobody wants to be your friend. So? Then go full loner. People aren't worth your time anyways. Friendships and communities are based on lies, delusion and faking, ALWAYS. Don't forget this. Being mentally deficient is always a requirement for belonging to a group or collective, you have to be deluded enough to believe that you share something in common that bonds you with people who live life completely differently from you and had entirely different events influence their lives, not to mention the genes, environment, all that. Insanity is a requirement for any sort of collective, while in individuals it is rare, Nietzsche wrote it in Beyond Good and Evil and it is true.
Short answer: give the middle finger to others. You don't need them, they don't need you either, why waste time on each other? Focus on yourself, find hobbies, study, learn, enjoy life alone. Being alone is a lot more fun than having to restrain yourself in front of normals just to please them or don't offend them.
There are things that cannot be grasped. Only given after completely forgetting about them for a long, long time. A thing is: you are not looking after this company for legitimate reasons, just because of an inner void that deserves nothing.
Relinquish. Only then you might find peace.
>Also, did you ever watch "Wreck-It Ralph"?
This. This gave me balance when I was worrying about people I shouldn't.
I agree with you in principle, and I'd rather interact with people like you online than the average person in real life.
But sometimes it becomes difficult to override the need for interactionin "meatspace". Wish there was medication to turn this instinct off.
>I dunno what to do I just want a social group
>>243500>Wish there was medication to turn this instinct off
Benzos and some good TV shows/movies/vidya/anime/whatever the fuck
I'm in the exact same boat as you man. I've never used any social media before, never even used reddit before in my life because I'm a total outcast. I've always been picked on/bullied in my school years by everyone, I did terribly in school but my mother wouldn't let me drop out. Video Games were my entire life of cope because I'm a diagnosed Autist (diagnosed at 2 years old). You get used to it, I have zero friends both online and in real life. I'm only on imageboards (accept 4chan). But the thing is; you can't trust anyone but yourself, which is what I learned for a while. There are also things you can't control.
>I have been pandering leaving all my communities and continuing further this retreat from reality. is that the only solution?
I've never really been in a community so I wouldn't know anything. But what i would suggest is getting/practicing a hobby or skill/new skills. I've always wanted to study compsci but i'm always distracted.
Also, nice picture.>>243472
good fucking post.
Where does that picture comes from
dumb anime nigger on depression board what a surprise
You ain't alone. I cherish places like wizardchan because it eases me knowing that I'm sharing my thoughts with likeminded individuals who dealt with similar terrible shit, or at least can emphasize with those feelings. Trying to interact with other communities feels like a chore, even when those groups share my same hobbies, I can't help but feel like I'm walking on eggshells. >>243472
I agree with this statement 100%. The only problem in this is finding a place to live. I have to keep my habit of "not saying what I really wanna" or else my parents will kick me out.