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/dep/ - Depression

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>fw constantly assailed by disgusting intrusive thoughts
>trying not to think about them makes you think about them because of 'ironic thought process'
Have any wizards defeated this demon? It's killing me. I can't even be left alone in my head anymore.


It is possible to suppress them through an act of will. That is how I have to deal with it.


I've never understood this embarrassment of one's own thoughts. If you imagine some crazy sexual or violent shit, why not just go ahead and entertain it? Nobody's reading your mind.


>Nobody's reading your mind.
I am, it's repulsive.


>Crazy sexual or violent shit
That's not what the embarrassment is. I think a lot of us go ahead and entertain those to avoid the actually embarrassing stuff. It's memories filled with regret and shame.
I never understood this. These thoughts just…pop up. There's no conscious decision making going on here. It's like saying, "I suppress rain clouds through an act of will."


It is shame rather than embarrassment. Judgement and comparison of the self and its actions with the self's standards. It requires no audience


I wish I could take control of my mind and the thought that come across. I barely wake up in the morning, and my mind goes at full throttle.



It sometimes passes through my mind but never stationary. I do not know exactly where it cometh from.


The only way to deal with it is to disengage with it as soon as it happens and try to refocus. No way to stop it.


>intrusive memories/rumination
I try to imagine it as my hyper critical mother infecting my mind and catch myself as soon as I realize I’m doing it.
>intrusive sexual/violent imagery
No idea. I’ve had this since I was at least 11/12 and it’s always deeply disturbed and disgusted me. Really tight/pressure undergarments sometimes help it a bit, maybe, but not really.


Happens all the time to me. The way I "deal" with it is by flinching violently, sometimes several times in succession if the thought is still lingering. Sometimes it's accompanied by a semi-loud grunt.
I say "deal" in quotation marks because this method is one borne out of desperation. It's not something I'm content with. Several times I've done this flinching completely involuntarily, surprising myself when it happens. Sometimes I've even done it, also involuntarily but more rarely, when the intrusive thought has already passed. So it's a problem in and of itself.

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