>around June 2020 I am hiking in woods when I realize that I don't feel real
>literally feel like I'm watching a movie
This is how I go through most of my days. Life is hell.I think I will just keep on doing this until one day I find myself waking up in the hospital after I collapse. I can sleep okay but every morning I wake up I feel like I my soul is dead and this feeling doesn't go away for most of the day.
No way getting 5 hours of sleep is causing that. From the fact that your balls shrank and you're having mental changes, you probably got covid-19 at some point and it is fucking with you. Look into all the issues people with covid come down with afterwards, it sounds exactly like you.
Isn't 5 hours of sleep extremely low? Especially for 5 nights a week. Then I sleep 9 hours on weekends most of the time. Even sk that's around 12 hours a week of "sleep debt" times around 100 weeks I've been working (getting there) that's around 1200 hours. I have this bizarre pseudoscientific theory of me passing through different layers of consciousness as I continue this garbage longer and longer. But perhaps not. Maybe I did get it and it fucked my brain. I don't know how I'd even know. I got both shots and the 2nd one gave me a 103 fever. Maybe i reacted stronger cause I'd already had it? I never got sick though. Also I feel tightness in my perineum sometimes. Wonder if I get myself jerking. Maybe I have cancer. I remember hoping I'd get it so I could quit my job and drain my savings then die. Maybe my prayers were answered.
>creative drive drains away>no longer feel any connection to nature>barely enjoy music anymore >literally feels like my soul is dead
🎵I've turned in to a normie🎵(Whoa-oh-ooh)
I can't even recall my age
I can hardly even sleep at night(Whoa-OOH-oh)
🎵I've turned into a normie todaaaaayyy🎵
Not trying to deny your wizardry here but your brain is beginning to go survival mode, IE you are becoming numb to pain and grief like an NPC. As a trade-off you also begin losing your ability to be entertained. Cortisol has eaten away at your reward centers so that you don't strive to be in a better place, as the concept of a "better" begins to blur away. Low sleep is indeed a leading cause of producing the stress hormones that eat away at your emotions, your drives, your purpose, and finally your humanity.
Get some sleep, chug ZZZquil if you must. You will never regret going to bed early when you wake up feeling refreshed the next morning. Avoid caffeine at all costs, get your energy from vitamin B12 instead. Do some light lifting or jogging to get blood flowing and encourage testosterone production. The chemicals your brain is using to change you can be countered with a disciplined approach to living healthy. You need to schedule 8 hours of sleep nightly minimum and then change your daily routines around that. Whatever you're doing on the computer, watching on TV, or going IRL can wait. It's not going anywhere. Skip whatever it is you're doing outside of work that's cutting in to your sleepy time and save it for when you have a day off work. You want sleep, you need sleep, so reward yourself with sleep. If you're not capable of getting a full night's sleep due to forces beyond your control (commute, family, neighbors) then plan to move out and/or change jobs to one that will permit you to rest. As you work to save up for this move, imagine how great it will be to finally be somewhere or doing something that will permit you to get the rest you need, and keep seeing that as a reminder for why you must persevere.>>248432>your balls shrank and you're having mental changes, you probably got covid-19 at some point and it is fucking with you.
Peek cringe Karen posting. Covid is literally just the flu. It doesn't have any side effects besides those given by influenza. Go to the Covid thread to spout your absurd beliefs, and do use all a favor and post even one official claiming that Covid-19 can shrink your brain and testicles. OP's stressful job and lack of sleep are the two biggest and most documented causes for generation of the hormones which are responsible for restricting testosterone production. This is what's shrinking his wand, orbs, and making him feel detached from himself while also prohibiting from feeling good emotions when doing what he knows he enjoys. Covid-19 my ass. You probably got the Vaccine and it made you DUMBTARDED, which actually IS a side effect of it.
I can't stand how fast time seems to move, I know I need to break the habit. I've been at this for 2 years now. I could probably get away with a few months of NEETing then finding a better scheduled job. But I don't know how long it'd take me to recover. Sure hope it isn't the same 2 years I spent fucking myself up.
How has it changed you?
>>248428>>around June 2020 I am hiking in woods when I realize that I don't feel real
Isn't that derealization or depersonalization? I've experienced the latter during a period of heavy stress.
Balls and dick shrink from lack of sleep? Wut? This has to be a joke
Yeah it's one of those two. I feel like I am in both. But apparently I can't even handle the stress of a bitch tier wagecuck job. Not to degrade hikkimori, because I was, but I saw it as a choice, not a weakness. So it has to be my fucked up sleep but I'm so deep into it I feel like the only way out is to shock my system by quitting my job. Even then I feel I may be too far gone. I often lose track of what I'm thinking and I feel like mental math is harder now. Though I've learned to stop triple checking m my answers so I found I can actually do it insanely fast. I used to be able to multiply two 2digit numbers in my head,now it's harder. I don't know what is done to cure depersonalization or derealization. I just know it's fucking me up. I can't take how fast time goes now. I can't believe it's already Wednesday it feels like the week just started. Holy shit this is the rest of my life. And I have horrible fucked up thoughts too, intrusive ones, probably a result of being a toxic cunt online. I keep having intrusive violent thoughts about my cat, who I love as much as almsot anything, just constant thoughts of terrible things happening to him, like I'm bored and that's the only thing my mind can come up with when I spend time with him. I see him playfully roll in front of me and my mind goes "lol what if I stepped on you right now you little faggot" which I would never do in a million years but there you go. I'm not violent I just have these intrusive thoughts and I wish theyd go away.
Look, all I will say is, I did nofap November 2019 and December 1st I went to fap and busted after twenty seconds. Then I kept fapping and came again fifteen minutes later. This was after my 3rd day of full-time work. In September 2020, I nofapped. October 1st I jerked off and it took me 20 minutes to cum. Barely had any libido at all. Did it this year and same thing. Took no discipline at all because I barely have the urge anymore. Not that it matters cause I'll never fuck succubi but it's still upsetting.
No, it's pretty normal. 6 is the norm for adults so it's only a little less. Only teenagers sleep 8 or more hours. You change after you hit your early 20's so you don't need as much sleep.
this is garbage, I'm 26 and I sleep 9-10 hours a night
nofap does make your dick shrink. The same is observed for heroin abusers. Normies doing nofap dont notice because they have sex, it is a trick against virgins.
(it has nothing to do with sleep deprivation)
I tried changing jobs to see if anything changed with something like this, and when within a few months it was the same I just bit the bullet and quit. I spent 2-3 months just watching TV and sleeping excessively, and over time my mental function recovered completely and I started itching to work on side projects and exercise.
I don’t know that I can recommend it, as now I know that waging kills my soul and brain entirely but I will most likely run out of money eventually and have to go back. Right now I can’t shake the thought that I’d rather die.
I’m just letting you know that the brain effects are basically wagie stress and sleep deprivation, and will go away if you ever escape.
Even taking you at face value, COVID is at least a much stronger flu, and the normal flu is known to trigger autoimmune diseases sometimes, which is what basically all non-malingering “long COVID” cases are.
How is every adult not talking about how fucked they are? How do they still have libido from sleeping that little?>>248477
But I've only done nofap 3x in my life. Shouldn't I recover from it if that were the case?
Alright. I have quite a bit saved and live with parents so I might try to get fired soon. Unfortunately the job market is great right now so now is a terrible time to go NEET. I'll try to find a part-time job instead. I'd work part-time forever and I know of people who live from it independently, if it weren't for my parents freaking out I don't have kike health insurance then I'd just quit today.
Masturbate without porn. Nofap is stupid just avoid porn.
What’s the point?
it strengthens your imagination
I sleep 5-6 hours every night for atleast like 10 years now, I also did like 4 hours per night for half a year, during that time I slept for like 12 hours on the weekends tho
I would never even get the idea that my sleep is inadequate, I thought 6 hours is enough and 8 is recommended.
by the way, i don't need 1.5 hours to get to work on time, it only takes me 5min to drive there. i just get up early with enough time to shower, iron clothes, have a coffee, etc with plenty of time to spare.
You don't feel your mental function is absolutely fucked because of it?
Maybe I'm just a loser who needs more sleep.
oh cool, schizo ramblings from an unsourced social studies paper.
this was me in 2020 when i slept roughly 4-5 hours a night for 9 months
i quit and immediately slept more and felt better but now im having sleep problems again despite not working, and now i feel unreal everyday like i can't focus on anything and like im in a fog
So it might be that the damage is permanent?
I've know for years I'm rotting every day but to really be confronted with it sucks. I have mild tinnitus too now from my job even though it isn't that loud, I wear earplugs now but knowing that's gonna be there FOREVER sucks even though it isn't that bad.
There is also a significant overlap in cuckolding and transsexualism they both go together
No, not really. Maybe its because Im used to it, maybe because I dont have much to compare it to, but I feel fine. 4 hours per night definitely made me feel like shit tho.
I have headaches now and I fall asleep often when I don't want to. My dad meanwhile has been going to bed at midnight and getting up at like 6:30 or 7:00 a.m. for years now and he still has the energy and motivation to go somewhere every day off he has. I get up and I am so dead I don't want to do anything. He drags me hiking with him which I like but when I get there I realize how dissociated I feel like I'm not really there. I wonder if I have brain damage from lead exposure at work but I'm scared to pay for a lead test.
in 2020 got some trouble with niggers trying to steal my house after burning an entiere house of my grandma so i didnt sleep in 30 days paranoia and delirum kicks in but handled. it fells really bad desu this last 5 years has been hell… its imposible to get a good nigth of sleep without benzos, some how when i was younguer used to do a shit ton of coke acid stimulants weed benzos and a lot of alcohol daily, now still using but im broke literally 0$ so in this hole mess i allready fucked my sleep schedule and probably fried my brain
i think so
i've also talked to someone on facebook who slept 3-4 hours a night back when he was still in high school and now he sleeps more but sometimes he also feels this way again
What youre describing sounds way to bad to come from you sleeping 6 hours per night, which is far from sleep deprivation. I would try to get that test done if it doesnt cost a fortune if I were you.
Just to add something to that:
of course it could be that you just need more sleep personally, just try that first of course. Force yourself to sleep like 8 hours every night for a week and see if your problems go away, I'd say if you cant sleep then youre either not really tired or you could try sleeping pills but I dont really trust those so thats up to you. The test still sounds like a good idea if nothing helps.
Do things for a good movie…you can make better your stupid irreality
So is there any cure for it? I couldn't find anything online. I first felt a bit of dissociation age 13 when I started eating gluten again after my mom made me not eat it for 7 years.
It's more like 5-1/2 and sometimes even 5 but never less..
Does lead poisoning cause derealization feeling?
I have no idea if it causes that, Im just confused why you have all these problems and think they come from a lack of sleep, Ive slept 3-4 hours for the last 8 days and all I am is fucking tired, dozing off every now and then but thats about it, it will all go back to normal once I sleep for like 8 hours once. Youre either exagerating whatever youre experiencing or its something other than a lack of sleep, but Im no doctor so what the fuck do I know, Im just confused by what youre describing.
I'll sleep in on the weekend, for like 9 hours, then get up at 10 or 11 and go hiking with my dad and I don't feel like I'm really in the woods. I just don't feel like I'm really there. I used to feel a connection with nature and it's just gone. I started my job end of November 2019, in January my boss yelled at me when I almost fell asleep standing up at work while watching a machine. February 2020 I started drinking coffee to avoid getting fired cause even going to bed earlier I was half asleep at work. March 2020 the wuflu closed everything but that' didn't affect me much other than having to wear masks at work. May 2020 I went with my dad to a small waterfall hike and I remember watching the water and feeling regret for who I had become, I hated being a wagie and I hated that I didn't succeed in life even though I didn't actually want to. Around June 2020 I started feeling unreal during a hike. Just really spaced out. The feeling has persisted ever since. I felt this before, when I was 13 and my mom let me eat gluten for the first time in 7 years, everything used to feel more vivid. That was a step down and so was this. I don't know how else to explain it. I look back fondly in just buying dumb shit from a store a few days after I first got my job. Thinking back to that time and actually remembering it makes my chest ache. Like I miss the beginnings of being a full-time wagie. At this point maybe I just need to shock myself out of my rut. My creative energy is gone, feels like I am squeezing an empty toothpaste tube trying to get ideas for writing or other creative projects. Only other thing I could think of is lead poisoning from my job, but idk if airborne lead particles are possible or can cause noticeable damage after 2 years.
Yeah I know those feelings, I just dont get why you think all those problems come from a lack of sleep. I wasnt really happy before but I know that when I finished school and started wageslaving away I just got more miserable, I used to love drawing and creating things but all of that just stopped being interesting to me, I lost all of my creative energy and now I just go to work, come home, play vidya for a few hours and go to bed way too late. More sleep would probably improve my life by a tiny bit but its definitely not the biggest factor and I doubt that a lack of sleep is the cause for most of your problems. You just seem as unfulfilled as I feel but I have no idea what to do about that, otherwise I wouldve done something to fix my situation already, guess Im just lazy or whatever. I really dont know what to tell you, try sleeping more if it helps, try taking random walks every day or something similar, idk. I know that walking through a nearby forest for a while has made me feel a bit happier for a while but now I dont really have the energy for that. If you think it will help you can even go to a therapist so they can tell you some bullshit they know nothing about because they "learned" something noone really understands. And for fucks sake just get the test done if it doesnt cost a fortune so you get that off your mind. Best of luck to you anon, Im gonna go to bed now, cant wait to slave away again tomorrow
>barely gets 3 hours sleep a night when im working
>takes 2 weeks off work suddenly sleeping like 14 hours a day
My holiday really felt like a 3 day weekend…
should've been a neet, i now regret my wageslave choice
forgive me neetgods, for i need sleep
jesus christ, only 3 hours?
I'm hoping I get fired during my employee review either today or tomorrow. I live with my parents and I sure as fuck will never move out until I Have to. I have enough saved to last at least 2 years. I can only imagine how much I will sleep. I guess you win, though, wiz. Your problem's worse than mine. Does the world still seem like a real place to you? Do you have headaches?
I get around 4 hours as well, for aboot…4 years now?
I wageslaved full/part time somewhere close by my home initially at age 21, went to college for a few years. Then got into production at 26, commute taking me 2 hours daily.
Schedule: Wake up at 6 15 am
Do bathroom business, dress, out door at 6:25
Arrive to work at 7:35
Leave at 4:00 pm
Get home at 5:15
Now at this point im so drained I barely say hello to my parents, which I discussed with them so they don't feel too bad. Rest of the time I spend gaming because I would like SOME joy out of the day, despite even gaming and the world around me getting worse and worse.
I go to bed at 12 or so. Despite being dead tired I still toss and turn for 2 hours. Even when I go to bed earlier like at 10, I would only get 4 hours. I do not sleep easy and despite consistently telling my parents to quiet down, they are unable to go against their nature of muttering over various topics, moving around, banging cutlery for whatever reason at those hours, dropping the remote, etc.
Even wear earplugs is an issue because not only do they not stay in my ears properly, but the fear of missing my alam for work (which has actually happened) keeps me from sleeping well, along with the general discomfort of having them jammed in your ears.
We live in a terrible world for quiet loners, where you cannot even get silence in and around your home unless you're alone living in the middle of nowhere
its really fucking with me, it affects my vision, my hearing, my thought process. anything i might find joy in i do not when i feel like this
How do you function? I hope your job pays really well. I couldn't stand to commute that far. Do you notice any difference in your mental function between now and 4 years ago? My life feels completely different now. My state of being feels different. I cannot do basic calculus problems I used to be able to do. It's a good thing I'm not doing intellectual work or I'd be fucked.
So if you sleep well the dissociation goes away? I got a week of good sleep in December 2020 for my winter vacation, but I still felt numb to reality. I feel like I am not really living. I don't know if this is something a psychiatrist could help with but most of that stuff seems like trickery.
sounds like you got warp waned try some dopamine fasting
This phrase sort of makes sense but I'm not sure what it means.
I hope you like fasting and don’t like bread
If you enjoy fasting and believe bread has destroyed your mind body and spirit, then you’re in for a good time.
usually except a few times where the brainfog can persist even after a good nights of sleep.
it also affects my grammar and spelling, usually i type fluently without having to think twice about what word to use or so but when i have brainfog i struggle to form sentences correctly
I'm 5'11" and 160lbs and most of my diet is pasta, tomato sauce, vegetables and eggs. And bread/crackers. I could give up the pasta and bread but I'd still be fucked up I'm sure.
Never began for grain brains.
The answer is barely. At this point the brainfog is constant, though I am not sure if its entirely from lack of sleep as I've given up on life at 20 and just coasted along so far. I've even tried lifting, but the lack of sleep on that particular part of my life is very noticeable
Little improvements overall, still skinnyfat, etc.
describe your brainfog
I've had 3 hours of sleep per night this week and now I've slept for like 16 hours and I feel worse than before, sleep doesnt make any fucking sense.
5 hours isnt too bad. You might want to go to a doctor about it or even have a sleep study done. There are all sorts of treatable illnesses that can cause you to feel extremely tired all the time. Something like sleep apnea can basically completely ruin all of your sleep and turn you into a zombie. Or a thyroid disorder can really fuck things up as well.
i think its stress
from his work
example, when i have to wake up for something my body automatically wakes up earlier or throughout the night. He can't get a good night of sleep becuase of his job. If he were to quit he'd have nothing to worry about waking up to and he would be able to sleep as much as he can
It might be. But if he can manage it it would be good to rule out anything treatable medically before quitting.
Been there. Strangely, it only happens to me when I get intensely focused on some long-term interest with no end in sight. The more enthused I am about it, the worse I sleep. It's like my body absolutely refuses to be away from it and will snap itself awake, no matter how dead tired and fog brain I become.
I'm actually kind of torn on whether I like it not. It's nice to be happy and having fun with something for once, but at the same time it comes through a very distorted sense of reality. Usually at the end of these periods, I can't distinctly remember what even happened during them. Weird feeling
All I really do at work is see the same fucking normfags every day and wander around a factory occasionally doing some mundane shit or running machinery. When there's nothing to do I hide in the bathroom. It's possible I have lead poisoning cause they do have a ton of solder there and it's open to the air, there's ventilation but apparently it's not perfect, but that would mean everyone there would feel fucked up. I think it's just my sleep schedule. I just don't know if it's fixable. I want to quit my job anyway, it's a complete waste of time >>249063
Did you lose the ability to write creatively, or solve math problems? I have trouble more doing basic math now. I think about when I came in for my first day of work and grunting hello to the succubus who was also there for it's first day and it feels like another fucking lifetime. It hurts and I find myself longing for that time, that state of mind. I was excited to be a wagie fulltime and by day 2 I realized I hated it but needed money. By the time I had like 30k saved end of my first year I no longer cared cause I knew even if my parents kicked me out I could NEET for a year while finding something better, at worst.
>>249094>Did you lose the ability to write creatively, or solve math problems?
Not permanently. I never had the first skill, but any sort of complex thinking goes out the window after a few weeks of 3h sleep nights. It's not like you lose problem solving abilities, per se, but every thought, not just math, goes through a sort of filter and takes a lot longer to process and 'click,' to say nothing of how simplistic and base they usually are. It's literally zombie mode.
Can't see why you'd have any problems once you go back to a normal routine and schedule though.
holy fuck I'm out driving to and I feel so brainfogged and spaced out despite sleeping from 4 am until 11 am
Its a heay hitter on my short term memory. At work I often double check and go back and forth on simple things like putting in a screw because I can't trust myself to not forget something. I go outside my area for another task and to grab a paper I printed, for efficiency I do both these things at once
Yet I often double back to the printer because I forgot to get the paper in the first place
At home it barely manifests because I just do the same thing day in and day out, playing the same games with the same tasks
Long term memory comes in bits and pieces, I do remember a number of things from my past but not clearly. Its vague "I remember this scenario" type of thing
Faces I forget, voices I forget
is your vision kinda blurry
or out of focus
or worded differently, is it hard for you to observe the whole picture, as in you can only be focused for one thing at a time
No, haven't had any sight issues
Mind you sleep deprivation is just one factor of the multitude of issues I harbor
Learned helplessness and apathy is practically the core of my being now
i go to bed and try to wake up after 9 hours but i rarely ever have 9 hours of sleep. i stay in bed for like 1 hour before i can fall sleep and then wake up after 6 hours for no reason and need like 30 minutes or so to fall sleep again.
i ve been strugling with this issue for a long time. been that i wake up after 4 hours, sleep, wake up after 2 hours, sleep , wake up after 1 hour.
or that i wake up after 6 hours and im not exactly sure if i need to go back to sleep or not. anyway im unable to get 8 or 7 hours of sleep in a row
I am unfortunately one of those people. Grains, fast sugars and cereals destroy my brain and cause me so bad brain fog, memory loss and fatigue I just can't eat them anymore.
I'm forced to only eat meats, proteins, vegetables and some very low sugar fruits like berries.
throwing your life away just to make ends meet while people retire off investing in shitcoins…this world is unfair and fucked up
There he is, there he goes again…
been keto for over a year and off it and conclude there was personally not much difference. grains lack nutrition but give you energy.
waking up once for a little while then going back to sleep can be very normal. In fact iirc its exactly how most humans used to sleep before we got electricity that let us stay up later.
many times not so much, you could maybe try melatonin to see if it keeps you asleep
I keep waking up after 5-6 hours similar to this anon >>249953
Except i can't go back to sleep. I'm just probably too stressed from uni but I've never had trouble waking too early like this…