No.256057
>>249435More of a "i should kill myself" situation instead of a "i will kill myself" situation. Who knows, maybe i will if things get worse? For now it's just being sedated with food and shelter and wishing i was dead.
No.256058
>>256056Life is such a bizarre design.
No.256060
>>256055I don't know if that's correct but it really is hard to reconcile the hard problem of consciousness. I don't really think anyone has a satisfying enough answer yet.
No.258062
No money
No.258429
Just waiting for the weapon now.
No.258470
It's all the things I look forward to and all the hopes that come true. It's worth mentioning - that every once in a blue moon, I sit in awe of all that has been bestowed. And in my darkest hour I remember all that is possible - and that it's only those things are being taken. And I can't stand to part from those joys. You begin to strip the good out of my life though, taking until the ends and the items are gone, and all of a sudden, my will to live disappears. It just turns off like a switch. I guess that means I'm a material person.
No.258622
As silly as it sounds, I'm waiting for a few anime to be released. There are some interesting looking shows sitting on my backlog, too.
No.258656
>>258622Me too, I want to watch chainsawman
No.258657
>>258622I'm so burnt out on media now but it's nice when you find something you can actually enjoy. New Mob and Chainsawman should be fun.
No.258658
I bought rope but i'm too retarded to tie a noose properly and it seems like a pretty bad way to bow out. Falling from a great height could be nice. I dunno, give it a few more years and see how i feel i guess.
No.258660
>>258658I don’t get where people even hang themselves from. I doubt a modern fan would support a person and I don’t have exposed rafters, and the same goes for most people.
No.258661
>>258660As long as you're not a wiz that minds leaving the house once in a while then trees would suffice.
No.258663
You guys ever wonder what kind of people will come to your funeral? I don't want some retards from school to come and attend my funeral…
It would be so fucking wrong? and cringe idk
No.258665
>>258663This is probably a lot of my own negative projections but funerals make me wince in general and i've been to a few over the years with my parents and their friends getting older. Some guy standing up in front of a bunch of people embellishing stories and personality traits about someone he never met while the audience collectively buy into it and tell themselves "that was so him/her". The majority of the people there will stop thinking about the deceased after a week (if that). Thinking about a priest or whatever trying to put a positive spin on the life i didn't lead while the few attendants that show up lie to themselves about what a loss they've had makes me glad i wont be around to see it. To quote Frank Reynolds "Just throw me out with the trash".
No.258670
I just don't have the balls to do it
but today it hit me I probably have 50 years or more ahead
50 fucking more years of misery and social isolation
I can't handle it
Tomorrow I will start smoking as to shorten my life expectancy
I will also up my alcohol intake and switch all my healthy foods for junk
Any other ideas for a 'slow suicide'?
No.258673
>>258665All those people at my funeral will think of me for those few short moments and then forget about me forever. I started out as nothing, lived as nothing, and then ended my life as nothing.
No.258676
>>249955I don't know about you, but sometimes I even start to believe things will get better. Then I give it a day or two and I realize just how bad my life is going to get.
No.258681
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope I'll have my own place and a dog one day. Animals are the only thing on the planet that don't make me feel like shit.
No.258682
Mum and Dad
No.260535
>>258673 like 99% of people in existence. either way whether people remember your existence doesn't matter, that's one of the points of death, nothing will matters in the end, especially for the one who's in the main perspective.
No.260544
>>260535So there's really nothing preventing me from ending it all?
No.260552
>>260544>>260544Try holorenic breathwork at least once before dying. You will have to extract the exact scholarship about how it works to not pay the sessions
No.260555
>>260552isnt that a meme? (do you mean holotropic,tho?)
What are some other ways to "trip without drugs",if you know any? It seems looking at one's own reflection in the mirror for 30 minutes or more,triggers trippy shit.
No.260583
>>249436>the real hold up is being a pussy and ruminating over life being far far worse dead than aliveLife's not anything when you're dead, life does not exist when you are dead.
No.260584
>>260552>>260555warp wane schizo and pea brained chuunibyo interaction, oh boy.
No.260590
>>260583theres no point in trying to "release" whatever pain you are in because in the unlikely scenario that there is nothingness after death, you couldnt possibly experience it.
likely youll just be sprung into another miserable existence in some form that wont improve your situation
No.260598
>>260590How is that 'likely'? What is your basis for that likelihood?
No.260602
>>260590>in the unlikely scenario that there is nothingness after death, you couldnt possibly experience it. I mean, even speaking hypothetically, wouldn't that still be better? Like, the point of killing oneself to escape pain isn't to then experience bliss, but to
not experience any pain in the first place, so the goal would still be reached.
No.260621
>>258670smoking is natural, actually. our oga-booga caveman ancestors,hunter-gatherers etc,grew up and developed surrounded by (fire)smoke. Also nicotine raises T.
just saying…
No.260622
>>249639osho was a turbonormie who ruled a literal sex cult
No.260624
>>260621This is true but you need to roll your own or smoke American spirits to avoid all the bad stuff (((they))) put in it
No.260627
i dont want to kill myself because i still enjoy life
i just want to avoid people irl as much as i can
No.260628
>>260624do you know of any tobacco i can order online for low price? all the tobacco where i live is super expensive, like 10 bucks for a pack of cigarettes
No.260629
>>260625no longer gonna ctb? what a clown
No.260637
>>260628All those USA based buy tobacco online sites are scams. Might be different in Europe IDK but I doubt it.
No.260638
>>260598there is no such thing as a loss of matter in the universe. only a reduction from one state to another. consciousness only exists when there is a means to observe the world. the same way you were sprung onto this world you'll be brought to another once more because life will always find a way to exist in some form. just a theory of mine
No.260641
>>260638>>260598Are the numbers of atoms/cells the same in a dead body,than in an alive body?
I think yes, at least for the first seconds/minutes after death.
Eternalism vs presentism is a good (secular)rabbit hole to get into
No.260657
>>249435> Decide I'll check out via my (strong) painkillers> Still need one or two meds> Afraid of being paralyzed if I failIt shouldn't be this hard.
No.260673
>>260638Your concept of a reborn "you" isnt the same "you".
Your theory is nonsensical without dealing with the concept of self and individuality of consciousness. For example some sects of buddhism say we are all one interconnected self. The individual consciousness physically linked to a brain can be extinguished and there is no reason to think that particular observer has to be continuous.
No.260682
Coz I've not enough guts to bear that unfathomable pain before death.
No.260687
>>249435I am afraid that there might be afterlife and have no balls to commit act even if i really want to.
No.260724
>>260657>It shouldn't be this hard.While many roads lead to Rome, some are easier.
>>260673I don't think he actually thought anything through, he just wanted to be pseudoreligious or pseudospiritual while taping on some scientific claims. That's saddening.
No.260978
saving up
No.261021
>>260760Is that your ferret? Post more please.
No.261085
>>261021They really do make coming home from a 10 hour shift worth it.
They shit everywhere but they're worth it.