what is even the point of suicide when even if it is in the best case scenario a void and return to nonexistence you won't even be around to enjoy it. There is in a way no such thing as death since subjectively we live forever.
the real hold up is being a pussy and ruminating over life being far far worse dead than alive
i dont see why i should kill myself when im going to die anyway. an eternity awaits me in death, so i am in no hurry to throw away my finite life
I asked my parents to pay for my therapy. It's expensive but we are upper middle class so it's okay.
I don't want to jump the bridge until my parents passing. Don't want them to see me dead.
what therapy? I get free therapy and have for years but nothing helps. instead of wasting money on therapy why not read what the therapist reads and also try study yourself and philosophy of mind so you can actually help yourself. Therapy may help but just saying.. if you need therapy to help you feel able to reach for your goals go ahead but if you have no goals you are laying down to rot and die like the rest of us
I agree, it's probably the only thing keeping me from doing it.
Just as I snapped to this body randomly from the void, who's to say I wont again in some other galaxy or planet?
It's irrelevant whether "I" will remember anything or not (I wont since consciousness was just my brain).
Existing itself is the problem. Existence somewhere in the universe is inevitable after countless billion years pass in the void, then you are in the material world again suffering, searching for sustenance, food and water.
There's no escape from the cycle of life. You can just pray you roll a good dice and at least become a being with a life that has minimal suffering.
You know, now that I think about it. Pure spite.
There's this guy's story I heard that sounded EXACTLY like me. I heard he committed suicide. Even though I never met him, it felt like I COMPLETELY understood why, and I felt like I was at this crossroads where I could do the same thing he did or not. And, I figured he already took the suicide approach, so I would see whether or not the normie advice of "It gets better" was true.
And now I feel like I'm living purely out of spite. Even though I KNOW this is pure schizo reasoning and CAN'T be true, I have this image in my head that I'm the reincarnation of that guy after God tried to have some speech to me about how I shouldn't commit suicide, and gave me the whole normie "It gets better" speech. And now I want to die the hard way just to say to God, "You were wrong."
>>249443>It's irrelevant whether "I" will remember anything or not
Embed related is worth watching.
>I agree, it's probably the only thing keeping me from doing it.
There is definitely cowardice but even more so the inability to be sure that life will cease and a void is awaiting is enough to send you into violent brainstorms that don't cease.
Existence is the problem as far as our form is concerned. Whilst I am not a determinist in an absolute sense I feel strongly we are in a futile struggle to even be happy and enjoy life as what powers the inner gears are beyond our manipulation. Sure, plenty of depressed people have obstacles within the path of their desires but there are those truly doomed individuals that don't even have a path and are miserable by default just like a faggot in a whore-house I guess.
To DIE is not enough I spend countless hours fantasizing about a way to obliterate myself from existence itself but what is the use of this fanciful poppy cock when the fact is we do exist and in some form or other will always be as long as there is something to be.
We adjust and get used to how shit life is as long as it is a stable kind of shit and you have given up you will survive and that is the a curse let me tell you h'wat. You rot for years you get used to the stench with the right philosophy forged within your being opposed to intellectualized and followed (nearly everyone falls for this meme) nothing will get you down. I envy the wizkids who actually snap when they become homeless or something else and kill themselves "it gets better" no, it never gets better that is counter to reality itself and if it does get better you are only preparing for a nosedive. You just get better at dealing with the stench of shit >>249451
incase you have not noticed yet, let me fill you in on a secret.
The normalfags do this thing callled sex and spawn more normalfags so this is silly!!
Because my life right now isn't that bad, I live with my dad and I'm NEET again. When he dies and I'm forced into wageslaving though, then I think the real suicidal thoughts will begin. Chances are I still won't do it but looking into the future I can see some real hellish scenario waiting for me if I don't figure things out.
I'll do it when I end up homeless from not working
here is a tip and a hint.
your helish experiences normalize and and an equilibrium begins. Congratulations no having no food to eat and being homeless is just as bad as when you didn't get that new vidya on your Bday as a kid.
You think homeless niggers exist any other way? thrust massive change upon someone and they may just kill themselves but drip feed the pain and you will be at the BOTTOM of society without a care.
Just need the right tools and to cut contact with everyone first.
kill em all champ
My mother, she's a wonderful person who tried her best to raise a failure of a disabled son. I try my best in my limited capacity to try and make her smile in pure joy, she deserves that at least for all she has put up with in this shitty world.
Pain. The small, brief period of extreme, hellish physical pain that comes before death.
unironically i support you. fuck bootlickers.
everyone wants someone to punish others for them.
I can't help but think it's something a normie would do. Wizards are the antithesis of normies.
I realized I can just live as a neet with my parents until they die. It's not like I spend a lot of money. My parents get more in social security than the three of us spend together.
This is why even the antinatalist humorist proposition of building a gigantic spaceship to obliterate life all around the universe to eradicate suffering permanently doesn't work.
Just as life spawned after waiting for 4+ billion years this round, it will spawn again in a few billion years *somewhere* through star formation, random atoms interacting with each other, water forming, oxygen forming, simple bacteria becoming more and more complex life forms over countless billions of years…
Then here we are again, on Wizchan, 4 billion years later.
We just can't escape this hellish cycle, ever.
Even suicide provides no relief, you don't experience time in the void, you will just exist instantly again somewhere else.
None of the methods I've see are things I am actually able to do very easily. Anything that takes a lot of thinking is out and for me this is most of them.
I've made vague plans to travel to the city to put my neck on the rail when a subway comes or maybe go to a bridge.
But I don't know what mental state I'll be in by the time I actually get there and it could be a complete bust or even land me in a psych ward, something I'm very worried about.
I've thought about going into a woods or something but it would need to be somewhere guaranteed that I won't be seen.
It's very easy for people to die by accident but there are tons of others who are seen to be in danger and rescued by people.
It seems like pretty much every method requires a great deal of thinking and preparation which is really hard for me. If it wasn't…I wouldn't be considering suicide in the first place.
SN sounded promising but the antiemetics you have to take can cause akathisia. I believe it is very likely it would trigger intense version of this in me and this could lead to a prolonged freakout and being put in a psych ward.
Everything seems fraught with the potential for worse outcomes…
My ideal suicide would either be gunshot (also carries risks if you don't plan but generally sounds a lot better in all respects) or having a high cliff with no people or traffic to disrupt and cow my autistic brain.
I wish so much that this was just something considered a human right and easy, safe, painless methods were provided to us.
At least you should be able to leave some sign that you don't want to be rescued/revived and have that respected.
Everything seems designed to keep us from leaving.
The general consensus among both wizards and "normies" is the exact opposite of what you just said.
The vast majority of people who kill themselves are normies. Suffering is so foreign to normies that when they get a taste of it they want to quit immediately. For normies their suffering is typically the result of failed optimism. Being optimists at heart, it's that which drives the normie to kill themself.
As with everything in life, I think killing oneself is pointless. I am simply not optimistic enough for suicide.
the answer to the eternal return question.
The first part is kind of true but on the second, you're just coping. It's cringe-worthy. You're not better than anyone else in any possible aspect.
>>249443>Just as I snapped to this body randomly from the void, who's to say I wont again in some other galaxy or planet?
The lack of evidence for it, why would you believe that the default condition is of a human intelligence, or some kind of thinking brain for that matter.
all our thoughts and knowledge about reality are learned though our past experiences, they are merely stored in our biological brains and utilized to more effectively create offspring.
we have evidence for this fact in seeing degenerative mental diseases that eventually erase all of a person's memories, and eventually all their intelligent thoughts. IE: dementia.
theories about life after death like reincarnation are so easy to believe because it's difficult to imagine non-existence, because to you, you have always existed, and always will until death
furthermore, you never "snapped to intelligent life"
your mother chose to have sex with a man, got pregnant, and gave birth to infant you.
infants know nothing when they are born, and in fact much like an animal, babies don't have a sense of self, or any kind of ego.
you can't remember any of this of course, however this has been scientifically proven through studies on very early childhood brain development.
the truth is you were forming your own perception of reality from the moment of your birth.
you saw with your eyes, heard with your ears, and learned how to act like a human from other humans.
the human brain is a very fascinating thing…
I still have manga and vidya to consume so it's on hold for now.
I like to tell myself things will get better
I don't know how to do it. I just don't know
Life went from being a horror movie to a comedy movie
I'm feeling way too numb because my life hasn't crumbled yet. Unfortunately our programming for survival is way too strong, I've been walking over the edge of the cliff for years, but taking the single step forward I need is too difficult, I need someone to push me, however I feel like that might happen soon enough, just not now because things are a little slow, not that I'm complaining, but when things pick up again and I'm stressed all of the time every single day then something might push me.
>>249679> theories about life after death like reincarnation are so easy to believe because it's difficult to imagine non-existence, because to you, you have always existed, and always will until death
I have better things to do than die still. I'll tell you when I get bored.
I'm afraid I'll botch it up and guns are illegal in my shithole. Also even if it seems like the only logical conclusion to my life, my stupid survival instinct just convinces me I prefer to live and wait for a miracle/war/anything to happen.
I'm thinking about it everyday, I have no hope for life, I'm completely apathetic, but I can't kill myself for some reason.
I live out of spite.
I refuse to give up until I have achieved the life I desire. Only once I reach that and it turns out to still be shit can I kill myself.
being a lame cunt.
there was this time when I talked to a guy about comittig suicide, he told me ¨lol just grow a pair dude¨, yes, when I grow a pair I will kill myself, why the fuck do you think I'm still here wasting the time of other people with myself?.
Well, I heard my country went and had men die so I can have this little thing called pursuit of happiness, so I decided to take it after years of going back and forth with the idea. I figure - worst case scenario, and I fail everything, I just go down to the hardware and pick up rope and be done with it all. It's like - it's no cost to try to live and do the best with what I was gifted with. Also, I feel like blowing my head off every time I come off klonopin, I have been trying to steer clear of those that way I don't do anything impulsive, they're not really necessary either, alcohol does the job fine in my opinion.
>>252706> I figure - worst case scenario, and I fail everything, I just go down to the hardware and pick up rope and be done with it all. It's like - it's no cost to try to live and do the best with what I was gifted with.
This is my view as well. I don’t get this rush to die, what are you gonna miss out on?
>>252707>I don’t get this rush to die, what are you gonna miss out on?
No such thing.
What does it matter if you suffer a lot or a little before you die? You’ll end up at the exact same place.
>>252712>No such thing.
How very halal of you.
>>252713>You’ll end up at the exact same place.
Then it's beneficial to suffer less, ideally kill yourself before suffering begins each time.
>>252716>then it’s beneficial to suffer less
Beneficial to who? You? Cause you’ll be dead. You won’t benefit from anything.
It is only pointless to your nihilistic mind. Sucks to be you, I guess.
Suffering is never without aim or purpose. It makes us stronger or richer in experiences. Without suffering life would be boring.
>>252721>>252722>if you disagree with me then you are a troll
Sad, how a great site like this is affected by circlejerks too. If you aren't a nihilistic faggot who hates life and is afraid of even the smallest amount of suffering then the "true wizard" police will come and find you. Pfh.
Suffering gives us knowledge, wisdom, character, endurance, humility, etc. Should I seriously go on? Suffering has its uses. Only a retarded hedonist or pessimist wouldn't appreciate suffering.
Maybe if you're a well-adjusted person or in moderation.
If your entire life is nothing but suffering you end up like a retarded, rabid animal.
You are like those normans who appreciate killing theirselves wageslaving because what they are miserably given back even if they are never given fairly. I repeat: THOU ART IN THE WRONG REALM.
>STUPID AS IT SOUNDS you do not need any of those traits if its not by the same misery who remembers you to be needing them>the traits are the instrinsecally valuable things and your perspective bias is a catastrophe>like usually normgroids do, you insist that every misery brings always something good, even worse, something fairly and compensatingly good in exchange. Aren't thou in ze wrong realm, norm.
>Only a retarded hedonist or pessimist wouldn't appreciate suffering.
I'm gonna let you spinning round that tree until you just hit your own ass with thy face, there's no point at all in even trying to make you reason.
Suffering doesn't give a shit, rather foreseeing events can do it without eating crap when it comes. If so wrong you think I am go ahead and crushy your face against a rock, so may become a genius. And praise the action, while doing so!
Chop your own leg, breath carbon monoxide, burn your eyes with a laser… come on! go get your endurance!
I don't feel like it.
This pathetic cope is presumably product of brainless devout indoctrination to avoid the blasphemous facts about a reality created to nag us all without any objective since God needs nothing from us, the lesser we need to be bothered by him… in the end they end up talking as if he nags us for our own benefit which is an utter stupidity knowing that He is almighty and therefore able to carry out everything in the best manner posible without any defect, error or perjudice towards us, the created pawns.
Tell your scholars: THIS IS COPE
im convinced about God and that human is the class of creatures is considered 'very good' according to God, so even if i don't like existing very much, i cannot kill myself without it being very disrespectful towards God
killing myself is going from a little suffering to risking a lot of suffering on the other side, that is frightening
The trauma here, is that you actually think it to be essentially disrespectful instead of merely being afraid of such a zeal from Who needeth nothing.
Why are you talking like that?
sequel to sky king or to… elliot roger?
Nobody's life is made up of pure suffering. This is because suffering and pleasure aren't mutually exclusive, you can experience both at the same time.>>252770
Suffering is useful, only weak people like you don't want to acknowledge it. I suffered a great deal for a year or so, I couldn't anything else besides simple stuff like bread and etc otherwise I would get horrible stomach pains. Yet I am grateful for the experience, I learned a good deal during my sickness.>>252776
I'm not religious, I'm just not a teenage succubus who finds every kind of pain/suffering to be the devil itself. I was like you once, now I think differently since I'm older and more experienced. Suffering has benefited me GREATLY. It showed me things I otherwise wouldn't have seen, it made understand deeper meanings about reality and nature too.
>>252720>Suffering is never without aim or purpose.
How about no
How about yes? Your line of thinking is a fruitless dead end. My line of thinking leads to power, wisdom, truth, self-knowledge and many other useful things. Think about what your life would be like if there was no suffering at all>wake up>oh everything is all right>day ends
It would be boring like a bitch.
Your line of thinking leads to doo-doo, feces, incontinence, shartstains, skidmarks, diarrhea and stinky smells!
This is the only response your shitty posts deserve.
So you are admitting then that at best it's a useful fiction.
here is a tier list to make it simple for you
5. very disrespectful
and being afraid of God or His zeal is far from ideal, the ideal is to love Him, that means you are mistaken on the 'trauma' part>>252787
probably trying to argue using biblical terms to make a point that is hard to refute, which is silly because this isn't academia
Noose doesn't work, can't get a gun, nembutal is expensive as shit, I dont like feeling too much pain so not going to drink acid or cut my neck, SN is literally rarer than diamonds these days, etc
If you guys have a link to a SN vendor or N that's cheap or even a gun just let me know here
No, it is true. The things I suffered changed me in ways that are priceless to me. Wouldn't have life any other way.
At least in the US, literally 3 of the first 4 results on amazon for the search term "sodium nitrite" are >95%-purity lab-grade powder. They have slow international shipping, but it's a lot better than nothing.
ok bro let me just cut your arm off, what do you mean no? you might learn something, like how arms are useful, mkay.
Yea I know the US has SN on amazon but sadly I am not in burgerland. Americans and some third world shitholes have so much resources to kill themselves with like guns, nembutal, sn, acids that can create carbon monoxide and hydrogen sulfide, etc
If it wasn't for their faith in religion I bet a lot of third worlders would have killed themselves
My worry is what would happen if the method of my suicide fails: would someone else intervene? Would I be a vegetable?
Well enjoy your ban then 😜
but i'm still a virgin
Seeing a point or reason to suffering/accepting it is as a fundamental part of life or actively seeking it out are two different things. The first is called a healthy mindset, the latter a masochist.
>>252822>suffering is useful>you are weak
All men are weak, I simply admit it.>I am greatful for the stuff
God can bring you whatever good without making you suffer. Henceforth suffering is useless… unless you have serious mental issues.>I'm not a succubus
No one accused you! But we don't either care.>Suffering has benefited me GREATLY. It showed me things I otherwise wouldn't have seen, it made understand deeper meanings about reality and nature too.
Unacceptable. You got some values? Then values are the issue, and all else is presumbly a necessary evil. Prescindable as soon as we may find a shortcut to whatever it grants.>I am older and more experienced.
Many spirits make their waters cloudy to hide how scarcely deep they are. Have a whale, showing off your nothing: Your lessons are mud to me
>Suffering is never without aim or purpose.
It is boring or it is allright. Don't mess it up!>>252860
The ideal from morals or from religion. Because it has quite a pair of balls to love the One who casts into blackmailed hardships while threatening you with Hell for eternity>while being able to cast you inmediately into paradise without any effort or conditions, since neither you and less Him, are in need of such process.>>252860>biblical terms
Wat? No, no. Wat? What I meant is that it is soulless to take dogmatic blackmailing as something moral in many points of it. It was an isolated statment not a counterargument for whatever>>252889
I would have it without suffering at all. As soon as I could.>You are not talking smart>>252915
I'd be boring, but since you can't suffer anymore, fuck this off
It seems like a huge fucking hassle.
And I am absolutely terrified of the possibility of an afterlife or some form of reincarnation.
Boredom is a form of suffering. If suffering didn't exist you couldn't be bored.
Yes. "Life is a pendulum that swings from suffering to boredom" (Schopenhauer) or something like that.
There's a difference between accepting it as part of life and giving some dumb blanket statement like "no suffering is pointless". Lots of pain and suffering is pointless and no amount of silver lining look on the bright side poo poo shit will change that.
Oh boy, make a statement about suffering not being bad and there comes the faggot army of pessimists, nihilists and hedonists to gang up on me.>>253004
No, suffering is never pointless. If it happened, it happens for a reason. Either to break you or to make you. Never useless in either case. Most people here are acting like ignorant children, refusing to acknowledge that suffering is a useful and beneficial part of life. Suffering is the very essence of life, one could say. If there is no suffering, it is just death.>>252970>>252996
First, Schopenhauer was a hypocrite faggot and all pessimism is nothing but acting and shitty dramatics, hypocrites pretending they hate life while they don't. Second, no boredom isn't suffering at all. Do you guys even know what suffering is? Or are you just some whiny bitches? Because to me the latter seems to be the case. You are bored exactly if you don't suffer. Boredom is a sign that you don't have any actual problems, I'm sorry. Schope was a rich aristocrat who never had to experience any truly difficult trials in his life, he lived the easy life and like to complain, pretty much what you people are like too I think.>>252960
How does God come into this whole thing? Read what I write. About boring and all right see what I replied to others in this post. If things are all right, then they are boring. Exciting things or events are dangerous or even cause you some kind of discomfort or suffering.
You do know you’re on /dep/ right?
Yes and that is why people here should toughen up a little already. You'd think after a while wallowing in self-pity and the pity of others would get old, but apparently some people like being weak and defenseless and then complain about bad things happening to them, as if they couldn't change anything.
And we see at last pretense is dropped.
God, you are so stupid.
i was a religious person , and every time i come to off myself i remember that i could end up in a place worse than where im right now
also i could be reincarnated again in this miserable life
i know it's my brain defense mechanism that kicks in , but at the end of the day i can't do it
this isn't facebook bud, you don't need to tell us your life story
i had a plan, i aimed power, to be some one in my shithole subcalled city and i have fallen, with all the theatricality in implies
This is just some way that some people who suffer misfortunes try to make themselves feel better by tricking themselves that they really are better off because of it. I went through a 2-year-long phase of that after reading Nietzsche and Deleuze, so I find it very trite and a bit too dramatic.
It's only when you can more detach from it all that you can you look at it a bit more objectively with an aristocratic cold disdain, like Schopenhauer and Lovecraft (interestingly, one an extreme idealist and the other an extreme materalist).
>"Life itself is a sea full of rocks and whirlpools that man avoids with the greatest caution and care, although he knows that, even when he succeeds with all his efforts and ingenuity in struggling through, at every step he comes nearer to the greatest, the total, the inevitable and irremediable shipwreck, indeed even steers right on to it, namely death." - World as Will and Representation, § 57.
Suffering is useful (sometimes) because it helps you navigate more accurately the "sea full of rocks and whirlpools." But regardless of how amazing you become at it you still arrive at the "irremediable shipwreck." So these lessons and insights are ultimately futile and pointless.
>Suffering is useful because it helps you achieve X
And why is X useful?>X is useful to achieve Y, which helps achieve Z
And why is Z useful?>Because… well, because it's desirable in itself and means you're some Übermensch badass
But even achieving Z is ultimately pointless. You then die and it all fades away and is forgotten forever as if it had never existed in the first place.
Now, you can be an idealist like Schopenhauer and believe that consciousness and "The world is my representation" is eternal and infinite, with no beginning and no end. Or you can be a staunch materialist like Lovecraft and believe that the universe is purely composed of particles and their meaningless motions, and it would make no difference for the value of one's own life. If my consciousness has always and will always exist, then infinite lifetimes full of the greatest wonders and horrors, and Herculean achievements and catastrophic failures, have all already been forgotten, as will this lifetime as soon as it is over. (Sometimes I think of how the most vivid, long, and magical dreams are forgotten as soon I open my eyes.)
I sincerely hope the materalists are right since no idea could be more soothing and comforting than that my consciousness only exists for a brief and finite period of time, but I have my doubts and I'm afraid the worst of all possible cases is correct.
>>252720>Suffering is never without aim or purpose. It makes us stronger or richer in experiences. Without suffering life would be boring.
And without life there is neither boredom nor suffering nor stronger and richer experiences, or any experiences for that matter, which is the whole point of the discussion.
There is no aim or purpose, it's only invented afterwards. You know, even your daddy Nietzsche said that last one.
>>253064>The only problem is that I don't know what it is.
Suffer for ?? years.
[Last 50 Posts]
Like that other poster I have no interest in pessimism, which is why I tend not to post on /dep/ except for when my melancholy overwhelms me. If you truly believe that life is nothing but suffering then you have a lifetime to rectify that problem yet your type chooses to whine on imageboards instead of taking this opportunity. I am not one that believes that the immediate passions are the greatest dimension of human feeling, but I believe that it is possible to detach the self from these sensatations and view them with the rational faculty, at which point you realise that these sensations are unimportant in the grand scheme of things. >>253103
I'd prefer not to gain my wisdom from a superstitious popular cult.