>my death will make my parents greatly unhappy.
That's a retarded cop out, every single time.
You sound like someone that never made a decision in his life that wasn't blessed by his parents approval. Live a little, dork. Even if that ironically means killing yourself. They'll get over it in a couple months and in the grand scheme of things, they'll probably have a better life without a permanent burden on their hands.
Alternatively, suck it up and get a job. If you made it through college, you have all the tools required to make it as a wage cuck and be employee of the month.
That's obviously not a given. A very significant number of parents are devastated by their children's suicide, even if the relationship is not particularly close.
So what? It doesn't matter. More than 7 billion talking monkeys on the earth. Whole species are going extinct. Millions of parents are grieving about their dead child right now. Nature is full of suffering. Ending your own suffering vs passing on a little suffering to your parent… It doesn't matter, it is not a significant decision. People are so stupid and egocentric to have the illusion that they are carrying the world on their shoulders
Just look for something in which you don't need interaction with people, or the interaction if very mininmal.
LDAR, death will come.
Dude just go walk into the wilderness and have a totally different kind of life.
Exactly. I have already embraced the utter meaninglessness of life.
So no matter how mentally painful it gets, I will keep going and refuse to suicide as long as I have shelter and food and some entertainment.
Just lay down and rot, then rope later. On a side note does anyone have the screenshot of the Wizchan thread where the OP anhero'd by running some exhaust hoses from his tailpipe to his car I think this was somewhere in Germany but i'm not entirely sure
I'm in a similar spot to all of you guys, but honestly suicide to me is more appealing.
I also care almost exclusively about food, shelter and enternainment, especially because I have no dreams or goals.
I don't have a bucketlist of things I'd like to do before dying, nothing I care enough about to do put in the effort at least.
So to me doing things like going to college and/or getting a job wouldn't change anything, why would I do that?
Well, to get paid so I can buy food… but I've always had it. Well, to get paid so I can buy shelter… but I've always had it.
However, there's one things people who aren't NEETs have that I'd like to have: Self-Esteem.
They can feel proud of what they are, especially if they have a respected profession, and their family and peers can admire them.
When you're a NEET everyone looks down on you, interactions become more awkward because they all have resentment for you being a leech.
I know I won't be dropped out at any point, but it doesn't make things good.
The problem is that going after something that would bring me Self-Esteem, in this case studying or working, would make me miserable.
It makes no sense to put effort and go after something only to end up with the same result, different types or suffering, but suffering.
I don't want to suffer at all anymore, just can't take it, I have to pick my poison, but I don't want to be poisoned, so I'll leave.
Just lie about what you do for a living. Nobody gives a shit really as long as you make up something plausible.
I've been doing that forever, I always get apartments, I always get good treatment, nobody suspects a thing as long as I have enough money for basic functions.
You would be surprised how much in this world depends on purely first impressions and how things *look*.
You do need to look the part though so I have decent clothes and I get a haircut every 2 weeks to blend in with normies.
I'm living in complete stealth mode among them.
My neighbors are lawyers, doctors, businessmen, I can do smalltalk with them about investing, current events etc. and they treat me as one of theirs. How much better could I have it?
They also bring me free delicious food on thanksgiving & christmas eve.
Stop accepting your fate like an abused dog and cheat the world.
Dear lord lately i've been so depressed. Like I often think about suicide. Usually I feel fine and just coast throughout the day, listening to stuff that interests me and coping with videogames, but lately I have anhedonia and want to die.
Unless your pain is exceptionally unbearable, I think you ought to stay alive, just to see where society and technology goes. We only got 3d games a little over 4 decades ago. Now its much more advanced, and its getting even more crazy. You have to admit that the development of technology, even in the last 10 years, has been unprecedented in human history. If this was 1880 I would of been dead already.
I can't relate to anyone or enjoy anything. Every forum i visit i hate its userbase so much it's unreal. I feel like im in quicksand, and just trying to grab onto whatever I can to stay above ground. I dont know how to cope.
You must look pretty nice, normal and presentable. Congratulations.
You need tons of money to do that, what are you supposed to do if you're a useless NEET like me?
You basically say "if you don't want people to abuse you for being NEET stop being one"
He's gentrifying your imageboard, basically. Pack it up all you NEET losers; make way for the ubermensch, the social chameleon wizard.
I could write the same exact post as you OP. Honestly, just think of me as you from the future. You see, I "accepted" my fate and am currently wage slaving. In fact, I've been such a good wage slave that I've been promoted. Did that change anything? Not at all. I'm still miserable as fuck being around normies all day, every day. Trapped in this fucking cubicle day in and day out. Corporations, leadership, and the all mighty dollar OWN me. They own my time, my hobbies, my mental health. They've drawn a bead on my soul and I'm just waiting for the day I can't take it anymore.
The fact of the matter is simple. People like you and I, if I can trust this board to be truly full of wizards and the ilk, have no place in the glittering bright world of normies. Like blood in the water, you, and my, particular characteristics and philosophies on life will make you a target. A target to be destroyed. A stain to be removed. A chewtoy to be used. Unless you're a particularly lucky chameleon faggot like >>249821
who actually enjoys the game, you're in for a bad time and always will be.
My advice to you (and what I wish I said to my younger self): unless you want to be doing the wage slave grind with normies for the rest of your life, you need to find an alternative route to securing your future. I mean, this is assuming you want to live deep down. I offer no judgements if you're going to kill yourself. That's a perfectly reasonable response to this shit world too. Anyways, securing your future can go a number of routes. Could be aggressive investments, learning a skill and freelancing, or maybe even just working part time and convincing your parents that you're too fucked up to work full time. More power to you if you can get on disability bux. I hear it's extremely difficult though and completing college is going to work against you for that.
Honestly I'm teetering on the verge of quitting every day and am still figuring it out. Wish I was never born too kek. Good luck…
To be honest, I've given some thought to chameleon game as a wizard because it would just make everything so much more bearable socially.
But I don't have the right face or height to plausibly fake being a banker or investor who works at home etc., people would see right through me. I just look "wrong". I have a low class face.
Plus even if I had neetbux I would not be able to afford upper middle class clothes and constant grooming. Which I don't. I had disability which ran out this January.
I mean you can do that if you have a comfortable disability, inheritance or other money. But I can't, and on top of that I don't have the right looks and personality to blend in. I'd be ostracized anyway.
Plus most of those posh people these days are either fit or ripped, I'm 162kg and severely obese. I can't plausibly be.. Well, anything. Maybe a trucker but that's it.
>>249763>the only thing stopping me from killing myself is the thought that my death will make my parents greatly unhappy.
this is more than likely untrue and just a cope. The thought of suicide itself makes life better and it functions this way for nearly everyone who is suicidal.
>>249763>the only thing stopping me from killing myself is the thought that my death will make my parents greatly unhappy.
this is more than likely untrue and just a cope. The thought of suicide itself makes life better and it functions this way for nearly everyone who is suicidal.>>249834
Your post is infected with crab think. you just need to be confident and you can blend in fine.
If you are fat quit eating because it is that simple.
>>249838>The thought of suicide itself makes life better
How is being depressed and going through anhedonia and therefore having suicidal thoughts a positive thing in life? You're thinking of a person who is not depressed and has suicide as a plan but that is not the case of OP.
Some people want to live but are forced to kill themselves by circumstances.
How about you go ahead and think about it or do you really need to be spoon fed? Here comes the airplane wooooosh.
The thought of suicide of leaving life is comforting. You have to be 18+ to post here
I know what you were referring to but it's irrelevant to OP's thread. the state of being suicidal and going through anhedonia is not a pleasant one
You can fantasize about suicide like the retard that you are and daydream that you're going to kill yourself for no reason at all but boredom but it's a whole different when you're in a depressed person's shoes and actually considering it everyday because you're suffering in life. It's a painful thought that comes more often than not from a painful state in life.>You have to be 18+ to post here
you need to have a brain and be considerate of others to post here.
Bold of you to make such broad assumptions. WIzardchan is not the place for pointless quarreling. >I know what you were referring to but it's irrelevant to OP's thread
Lurk more and you may just notice there is nothing wrong with this
>>249843>isn't killing yourself such a happy thought it makes your life so much better tehee >you just need to be confident >If you are fat quit eating because it is that simple
You're so stupid no wonder you reply with platitudes like those. Replying like a moronic normalfag should be a bannable offense.
>>249844>isn't killing yourself such a happy thought it makes your life so much better tehee
We already explained the function of suicidal ideation and you conceded that it did indeed serve the purpose you just mocked.>you just need to be confident
There was no mention of confidence thus far.>If you are fat quit eating because it is that simple
Wizanon you are struggling with your weight? this may be off topic but I am more than happy to talk about the subject with you in this thread or in a more relevant thread.
Yes it is that easy. you just stop eating
>>249845>function of suicidal ideation
A purpose nullified by real depression and anhedonia.
There's no pleasure in thinking about death when you already think about suicide due to depression and can't feel pleasure because of anhedonia. Persistent suicidal thoughts are a sign of depression, and an undesirable thing depressed people struggle with. You're suggesting to add fuel to the fire by saying that he should dream and fantasize with being dead. In other words, you're just asking him to kill himself. You're a fucking retard.
>>249846>A purpose nullified by real depression and anhedonia.
Oh, do I need to throw words around and try verify that my opinion has some "authority"?
Until you kill yourself your suicide thoughts are cope, an abstract escape that soothes you.> In other words, you're just asking him to kill himself. You're a fucking retard.
ironic when you misunderstand to this extent.
>>249838>you just need to be confident and you can blend in fine
"Just be confident" is the lowest iq bluepill cope, btw.
People judge on looks all the time. Not understanding could lead to complete social ostracization.
You can't compensate for most flaws just by "being more confident".
>>249847>an abstract escape that soothes you.
Do you even know what anhedonia is or have dealt with depression ever in your life? Your advice is crap it's like telling a patient to get more sick. "Become more suicidal and depressed it's soothing" You're already sick with depression and suicidal, you can't cope by thinking more bout suicide.
Daydreaming of suicide doesn't work in this situation.
But to them it's significant. What does considering the total population of humans have to offer besides cope? If I'm getting tortured by some psychopath, thinking "people have been tortured way worse or for longer in the past or at this very moment" or "we are 7 billion lol" will have near zero impact on how I feel while getting tortured. Same way for the parents. For them it really is the end of the world if their kid kills himself. (Most of the time.) Maybe, they will feel better later if they think the way you do but that is not the behavioural norm for humans. Considering insignificance in the grand scheme of things is, coping with loss for parents and justifying the decision on the suicidal's end. You rationalize your decision on the basis of insignificance.
The insignificance means that it is irrational to consider it in your decision making process. That defeats the argument against suicide that amounts to 'but muh mother will cry'.
In future please use non-meme English, it is irritating to read usages of the word cope like that
This argument has already been posted several times not just on Wizchan but antinatalist forums.
It's one of the main stumbling blocks for advocacy of suicide, because you wont experience the void.
You will just snap right back in whether it's billions of years later or hundreds of millions of years later. But you wont have experienced any of that 'resting period'.
Do you remember your first memory from when you were 2-3 years old? It's exactly like that. You don't know what was before that.
You simply snapped into existence from nothingness.
You're simply forced to exist in one form or another. You can't escape existence by killing yourself.
Maybe an animal or creature on another planet. Maybe a humanoid. Maybe a bacteria. There is no telling. But you *will* exist again.
Matter keeps recycling and rearranging infinitely in this universe. On rare occassions, carbon and h2o atoms arrange into life.
Who can really tell how many times the universe has already experienced the big bang/big crunch phenomena? Billions of times?
Atleast you get to reroll into a better state.
Being an amoeba is objectively better than being a Wizard.
would give anything to reroll into another galaxy into any life form at all
>he posted it again
It's based on a fallacy though. The fact an event took place once doesn't imply it will happen again. It's an assumption of faulty logic. The same can be said of the birth of the universe. The fact it came into existence at one point doesn't mean it can't go through a linear path of change and eventually ending in thermodynamic equilibrium with nothing else happening forever after that.
Well, nobody implies the exact same life will happen again. Or the same life forms.
The point is you came into existence 4+ billion years after the Big Bang this round.
Who is to say you wont exist again in another 4, 8, or 4000 billion years? It's not like you're just out there in the void waiting for that to happen.
To you that time will pass instantly because there's nothing to experience in the void.
You'll just realize you are in a body again.
You wont remember anything of any past lives of course because your consciousness is just your brain.
You will simply snap into another body, another consciousness if you suicide. Be it a primitive animal, an alien, a humanoid ape or some other sentient being. Just like you randomly inhabited your current body out of nowhere.
damn this is why I cant kill myself, these stories make me instantly choke and start crying, but it's either my pain or theirs, one day I'm gonna be the one clutching my parents dead body as they give way to old age, done it with too many dogs already, this is hellworld, I think if they die its the only way Id be emotionally okay with killing myself
Again, all this shit is nonsense because YOU won't even be preserved. If all your memories get wiped, if you are inhabiting an entirely different life form, then there's nothing there to call it you anymore. You are just arbitrarily assigning an identity to nothing.
Just call it a soul already and stop beating around the bush because that's all this shit is, new age reincarnation with a muh science twist.
There are multiple people living simultaneously. Killing yourself still means there is one less consciousness for some time. It makes more sense to think of every consciousness as a variation of 'you', since we are all interconnected like one evolving lifeform
You are 100% correct on it not being "you".
I just felt that doesn't even need to be emphasized at this point.
Our egos are a meaningless construct anyway, it only exists within the brain you currently inhabit.>>249938>It makes more sense to think of every consciousness as a variation of 'you', since we are all interconnected like one evolving lifeform
Finally someone gets it. There is no "you". There are billions of genetic variations of you inhabiting the world, adapted to all kinds of climates, environments and societies.
They are made up of the same atoms and matter as you are. You could have been born any single one of them.
Or another animal for that matter.
>>249941>Finally someone gets it. There is no "you". There are billions of genetic variations of you inhabiting the world
Again, you are taking the concept of the self and making it so there is some magic link between you and everything else, You aren't anyone else. You never were and never will be.
Let me ask you this, if you take away the memories, the brain structure, the personality, then what is left? What is this shared property between all consciousness that you claim links people and lives together?
>>249937>Just call it a soul already and stop beating around the bush
No, "soul" is a supernatural concept. Antinatalist suicide discussion only concerns the physical realm and the chances of having to experience life again.
It can't be compared to reincarnation belief systems like buddhism because those believe there is a soul that travels between bodies.
The only point of interest is the physical rearrangement of atoms creating new life repeatedly. There is nothing supernatural about it, just like there is nothing supernatural about your current life.
>>249942>Let me ask you this, if you take away the memories, the brain structure, the personality, then what is left?
Nothing. That person is simply gone permanently once their brain shuts down. Nothing remains of them. Nothing travels to another dimension etc., your brain and body decompose and get used up by other living organisms (whether you are cremated or buried).
>What is this shared property between all consciousness that you claim links people and lives together?
Not consciousness but physical matter. You are made up of the same genetic material and atoms as every other human being in existence. You share the exact same 1-2 common ancestors they do all the way down to trologdyte/bacteria level billions of years ago.
You are nothing but a variation of me and vice versa. There is nothing spiritual about it. Our bodies are so similar I could likely even save your life by giving you my kidney or liver (or through blood transfusions though that requires the same blood group, humans have evolved several blood groups).
>>249942>What is this shared property between all consciousness that you claim links people and lives together?
I wouldnt be the same person if my mother were different at all, because she would have raised me differently. If her genetics were different then that would have affected me too. She wouldnt be the same person if my grandmother were different at all: this occurs recursively, and it turns out that we are all influenced by almost everyone else when you calculate all these chaotic, recursive effects. A pajeet on the other side of the world making a purchase even affects you with effects that ripple over the financial system.
Also, if you consider an infinitely repeating and varying universe, or the quantum multiworld theory, then there will be variations of yourself that barely differ at all. There will be a version that just has a freckle in a different spot etc. I have just as much empathy for those alterations of myself. But then I think the same for those alterations with 5 more freckles. At what point is it really a different person? I see no clear point where there is a well-defined separation, a different person.
>>249946>At what point is it really a different person? I see no clear point where there is a well-defined separation, a different person.
The turning point for me was realizing how genetic mutations can even give two black parents white kids without albinism if both parents have the recessive gene for white skin and associated physical traits.
Yes the article says it's one in a million chance, but it proves even race is ultimately a social construct. We all share the same genes.
I think we’re getting off track. The whole point of this was to address the notion that death isn’t the end and that “you” will continue on in some form post mortem.
You both express very materialist world views so again, what is the point in saying we are connected? What exactly is connected here? I’m made of atoms yes, but different atoms than you. They’re the same kind, but my atoms are currently in my body and yours in yours.
As for the other guy it seems you’re saying we all are made from the same base ingredients, and so could all potentially have become each other. But we didn’t. We all have our unique lives and upbringing that made us. I don’t find any unifying or connecting force by this observation.
>>249952> I don’t find any unifying or connecting force by this observation.
Why not? You are ultimately no different from any other living being.
Race is beyond skin color:https://en.metapedia.org/wiki/Miscegenation
Anyway, why would anyone shill such bluepill here? This is no place for breeders anyway. Denial of the race is an utter (((shill))).
Since I started to know revisionism of the holocaust I've been aware of distinguishing bluepillers and deniers of the dark reality of things. If you ever know anyone who's throw their genepool tot he trash by mixing, let him/her know a piece of this: https://en.metapedia.org/wiki/Effects_of_race_mixing
Since they are known as variations and therefore different, there is a "me" and "them". Period.
Even if we do admit the trascendent nature of self-concept-beyond-memories…
But you are different, just like everybody else.
Well I posted >>249923
and then apparently some other people chimed in and the whole thing went from there. But I'll still respond to you since you replied to my original post.
Here are your faulty implications outside logic, in order;
>Who is to say you wont exist again in another 4, 8, or 4000 billion years?
Nobody should outright reject the possibility, but the assumption 'Event X happened once therefore it's bound to happen again' is simply not true. Such implication is a proposition of fantasy. There's nothing about the existence of a particular form now which implies its continued existence in the future. It's very simple really and that's the whole argument of that chart. It assumes life will continue to exist because it currently exists. It's fantasy.
>The point is you came into existence 4+ billion years after the Big Bang this round.
It's about 14 billion years after the Big Bang, if science is to be believed, but my point here is to bring up your second fantastical implication; "this round". You're assuming a cycle. Like I said, you're outside logical discourse when you assume an event is bound to repeat if it happened once. Such implication is fantasy. It might be the case, but it also might happen only once. Again, drawing such conclusions about an event simply because it currently is, is the realm of fantasy. I hope repeating myself here will make it clear.
>It's not like you're just out there in the void waiting for that to happen.
I was literally not waiting because I didn't exist. Waiting implies I existed, so you're correct there, I wasn't.
>To you that time will pass instantly because there's nothing to experience in the void.
Literal nonsense. You assume I exist before I exist. Contradictory statement.
>You'll just realize you are in a body again. You wont remember anything of any past lives of course because your consciousness is just your brain.
Forceful vagueness to arrive at conclusion. This is just a discourse using an incredibly vague idea of identity. It seems to imply that I continue to exist just because life will continue to exist (for some time, at some place). I disagree with your idea of identity on the grounds of excessive vagueness.
>You will simply snap into another body, another consciousness if you suicide. Be it a primitive animal, an alien, a humanoid ape or some other sentient being. Just like you randomly inhabited your current body out of nowhere.
Excessive vagueness on what defines identity. Not falsifiable due to vaguely defined terms but appears to be nonsense.
I won't pretend to know about the ultimate fate of life and universe but I know enough logic to know the speculations on this thread are outside of it for the most part. Instead of going through post by post I'll recommend a book called The Oxford Handbook of Philosophy of Death that adresses several of the issues discussed here but with actual rigor. Highly recommend it.
>>249952>The whole point of this was to address the notion that death isn’t the end and that “you” will continue on in some form post mortem.
I thought we were talking about suicide. From >>249911
people seemed to be arguing that killing yourself is a bad decision because you won't even experience the death, since you can't experience time when you are dead as any form of rest. I think this is not a rational way to view non-existence - you shouldnt just think about exact reborn copies of yourself. There is still consciousness after you kill yourself. It isnt like one movie being played from your perspective with no intermission. You can view it either way as one interconnected consciousness, or multiple conscious points of view. It follows that the suicide of someone with bad quality of life does reduce suffering overall, even if the universe is infinitely repeating and/or changing, since it leaves a greater proportion of time to the happier consciousnesses. Even if you are intending to make purely selfish decisions it seems invalid to ignore the ongoing experience of all other people during their period of death, due to >>249938 >>249946
Something can't come from nothing, therefore the universe always existed, and an infinite amount of time has already passed, yet here we are. It can't be proven, but it is very plausible that the universe is cyclic in some sense and we will keep being born in infinite variations. You can argue that it may not be true but in this thread we are considering the possibility
>>249965>Something can't come from nothing, therefore the universe always existed
Hard to tell if something can't come from nothing. The universe is currently expanding (so we're told and I'm inclined to believe it), creating space where before there was nothing. Tough call, so I'm still on the fence on this one. However you can't extricate that something always existed because it currently exists. Well, you can, but you don't have enough cause for it. Let's go through this again apparently I didn't repeat myself enough; The current existence of any state doesn't necessarily imply it's continued existence at any other point.
Now why this is important? Simply because this causes the opposite scenario to be equally possible. One might as safely assume the universe will just come to existence once, go through a linear path towards thermodynamic equilibrium and eventually die forever with nothing ever happening again. In other words, it can be linear and not cyclical. It's a matter of preference, at least for now. The point here is, such assumptions do not naturally derive from what we can observe now (that the universe currently exists).
>but it is very plausible that the universe is cyclic in some sense and we will keep being born in infinite variations.
I would rather say it's possible, plausible is difficult when you're speculating on such a grand scale. And I won't argue with you about your assumption that life will continue to exist just because it exists now, because that would CERTAINLY be circular. =D
No, seriously, check out the book I mentioned, you'll have a blast. You can find for free on b-ok.cc. Also look into some thermodynamics speculations if you haven't already, equally fun.
>>249964>I thought we were talking about suicide
My bad, I was not. I really don’t have any moral views on suicide.
I decided to leave the decision to my parents. They brought me here, they shall discard me when they wish. I'd be prepared or not, what else could I do?
I noticed someone here replied that I will reincarnate. From a mystical perspective - maybe.
But from a purely materialistic perspective, life ends with consciousness. Even if the matter that composed my dead body rearranges into new sentien life millions or billions of years later - it will be another being. Not me.
Bump. Why nobody replies anymore?
what else is there to say? if you wrote a really good post that warrented replies chances are someone will reply or maybe in a month or two the thread will get active again.
This is the wizchan way
What this guy said. Also parents don't care that much, I've seen plenty of cases from media where the kid dies and the parents are sad for a while then move over with their lives perhaps even having other kid to replace the dead one.
I'm asking myself the same question at the moment, because I'm about to drop out from college after years of trying to pull through, online exams made things easier than they were before, but now that they're done I'm really struggling again, also I don't see myself working, any class where we have to do anything resembling what we'll actually do once we graduate feels like torture, and any class in which I have to interact with people besides the classmates I already know is terrible, it feels like I'm holding my breath and can only breathe again when I'm back home, in my room, door shut, windows closed, in my bed. I don't want to go on with college, because I can't anymore, and I don't want to work, because I feel like literally dying when doing anything that even slightly resembles it.
However, it all depends on what will happen next, I'll probably become a NEET after dropping out, if my parents don't bother me too much and continue to treat me decently then I'll try to stick around, because I know that me being a leech, but alive, will bring them less suffering than having to deal with a suicide. Still, if they instead start treating me poorly out of resentment for being a dissapointment which wasted their money for years with school and college, who they expected would earn high wages as an adult, then I might just leave. I'll already have no self esteem, and will feel terrible seeing everyone I knew in school and college go forward in life while I'm a failure, if I can't even find comfort in my own home while just trying to exist comfortably, then it's not worth it.
You could try enrolling in some bullshit course. like programming or something more technical, that's what I did after graduating so my parents could stop bothering me and It worked, I'm 26 and never ever worked and I will probably stay this way another year at least.
It's much better to say "Yeah I'm studing X shit" instead of being NEET, your parents will respect you more too even if the course is dogshit.
This is why so many people stay in perpetual education.
or if you have mental problems that are bad enough you can try help parents see you cannot work.
Well, in my current situation and context I'd say that enrolling in a bullshit course and being a NEET would both have the same effect, so it wouldn't make much of a difference. I've always given my parents expectactions that I'd be very succesful, and now that I'm in medschool the expectations are even more overwhelming. I haven't learned a thing since I've started medschool in 2018 and can't help any patient by myself, even though I'm expected to by teachers and colleagues, I feel like a highschool student that somehow made it far in medschool because of online exams and cheating, it'll catch up to me sooner or later, and I think the time has come. If I went from medschool to some bullshit course they'd be just as dissapointed in me, so it won't do me any good, and even if it could I genuinely have no energy left, not even to do easy courses, nothing, I just want to stay in my room with no obligations and responsibilities, anytime I'm expected to do something different than that I break down, I feel like I'm too far gone, I'm always tired even when I do nothing.>>250257
I don't think they'd buy it, knowing them they'd probably just say that I'm lazy and not working hard enough, that I'm disinterested and ungrateful, my only diagnosed illness is depression, so I don't think it'd be enough for them.
Can't tell if this is OP or not. Did you decide you're going to rope or something? Thread went off the rail with pointless theoretical bullshit. Everyone trying to mystify life and death.
Yeas, it's the OP, believe it or not.
I'm not roping yet but I have absolutely no fucking clue what to do with my life next.
So far, I only did what my parents told me. I finished college despite crippling social anxiety because they demanded me to and supplied me with money as long as I did this.
But now college is over and I don't wanna work in office or in other place which requires a lot of human communication.
I won't say I actually don't wanna live - I just view it as the lesser evil compared to life of wageslavery.
Although my parents are financially secure - but they aren't immortal. Mother, for example, just got succesfully operated from breast cancer. This made me thik more about our mortality (what if she didn't get cured?).
anyone else stuck in the thought that death wont end the suffering and may even make it worse? Dont want to live and dont want to die. Want to simply cease existing
just get the degree i'm in a similar situation. hate working, hate my major hate everything but doing it anyway just because. you can always become a janitor or whatever after you get your degree.
Ironically enough if such a button existed, I'd finally have a reason to wageslave