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File: 1637814603572.jpg (109.01 KB, 728x895, 728:895, 1615555863648.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.250632

Hello, I really need help right now, most specifically from any fellow NEETs on the board.

I live in a place where NEETbux isn't really viable, so the only way to be a NEET is leeching off of my parents. I know they wouldn't get to the point of kicking me out, so I'm safe in that regard, but still, the advice I need right now, from anyone who's been in the same situation, is: How do you overcome the shame and guilt?

I know they love me, and I do love them, even if I don't seem to do so in their eyes, they probably see me as ungrateful and lazy, a dissapointing failure of a son. I understand the reasons for this, they were loving parents and did their best, and I gave them lots of hope in my academic years, always being an outgoing student.

For me to turn out like this is something that'd naturally make them somewhat resentful of me, but the thing is, either I'm a NEET or I kill myself, and I though that being a NEET would hurt them less. I can't live a normal life anymore, studying, working, it's all just too much for me, it's a lifestyle that makes me breakdown regularly.

If I'm going to live, it has to be as a NEET, in my room, comfortable, but most of all: Safe. I'm at peace here in my bed, with my laptop, door and windows shut, no notifications on my phone, no one else awake at home but me, this is the closest I can get to bliss, if I'm going to do this whole living thing, it has to be like this.

Still, seeing my parent's dissapointment, being a manchild while all of my old peers move forward in life, getting good jobs, buying their own homes and starting families, I don't exactly want any of those things anymore, but it's hard to not feel inadequate and ashamed, it's hard to not have even worse self esteem, but most of all: Guilt.

What should I do? Killing myself is an option, but I don't want to break my parent's hearts.

However, living the life they want me to live, it's just too much for me, I don't want to suffer.

 No.250633

>>250632
>How do you overcome the shame and guilt?
I just ignore it, but that's probably not what you want to hear.

If you can just stay on extended education, go and enroll in some bullshit course and tell your parents that you're trying to do something.

Or tell your parents that you will kys if you have to work, maybe they will get it and let you NEET for a while.

 No.250635

File: 1637815801480.jpg (49.56 KB, 736x1005, 736:1005, 9b08b1c5df10599bd7496bc89e….jpg) ImgOps iqdb

There's no help for you, ccposter. You're mentally ill, and you can't even open a thread here without avatarfaggin. What advice do you want, youre attentionwhoring again.
You shouldn't feel ashamed or guilty, it's illogical, it's unreasonable because your situation is one that you couldn't help. You didn't cause yourself to be mentally ill, it happened to you, it's not your fault so just try to do your best with the help from your family and doctors. So whenever you feel ashamed or guilty remember that you're not entirely responsible for being the way you are, let's say, you're a victim so to an extent you're innocent. You cannot be judged for having a mental condition that won't go away and ruins your life, you're exempt. Never compare to others who are normal and healthy because you're not like them, you're a patient and need healing.
Good luck.

 No.250639

>>250632
could help if you get some doiagnosis I guess even for them. We should not have to live this way OP.

Just try not feel guilty you may not have asked to be born but you also didnt choose to be so averse to life that you have to NEET.
Have you tried to explain to your parents?

 No.250640

>>250635
Didn't you post encouraging messages in some other blogposter's thread on /b/? You're hardly one to talk when it comes to avatarfagging.

 No.250641

>>250633
Due to the expectations my parents had on me since I was a kid, I think a bullshit course would be just as dissapointing for them as me being a NEET, since they expected me to be a doctor, engineer, or something with high status like that. I don't want to tell them I'm thinking of killing myself, it sounds like blackmailing in a way, I'm willing to take up chores around the house though, live a house wife life in a way, just as a NEET man, cleaning and cooking, not having to worry about studying, working or driving, just taking care of my family, actually sounds somewhat comfortable, though it depends on how they'd react to the idea, if it'd be enough to please them, or if they'd still be dissapointed, seeing me as an ungrateful failure.

>>250635
I agree somewhat, I didn't choose to have depression and see things the way I do, I wish I could see the world in the same way my old college classmates saw it, optimistic and interested in what they were doing, feeling like they had a purpose and going for it, being fulfilled by it, if I could choose to be like that too, why wouldn't I? It really isn't 100% my fault, I'm just mentally ill, though at the same time I feel inadequate because I always had a need for people's approval for some reason, maybe because I've always hated myself and felt a need to fill that hole with other people's love and validation instead, and I know most people won't forgive me for being mentally ill, they'll just call me lazy and say terrible things behind my back, and that really hurts me, I wish I could be more successful and functional so people wouldn't look down on me and judge me, but just that isn't motivation enough for me to get out there and live as I'm expected to, it just hurts too much, I want the reward, but the price is just too high and doesn't seem worth it.

>>250639
I was diagnosed with depression years ago, took medication for a few months before I gave up on them due to frustration, because I though they would save me, only for them to do nothing. Also did therapy for 2 years, but never felt any better, never got out of an appointment with my therapist feeling better than when I came in. The problem is my therapist kept telling my parents I was getting better, even though I wasn't, and I felt like she never took me seriously, never took my depression seriously, the same goes for my parents and sister, who call me "Emo" as a way of mocking me when I complain, and say I have nothing to complain about, they see my life as perfect and better than theirs, so me complaining is just a sign of me being ungrateful and pathetic, lazy. I don't want to explain anything to them because I overall dislike venting, I feel comfortable here because it's anonymous, but in real life I always feel inadequate and judged, so with time I've learned to keep it to myself, I've never felt better after venting to someone I know, especially my family, I don't want to sound like a spoiled teenager, but functional people really don't understand, and just see my struggles as nothing, as lazyness and being spoiled, and if they can't understand then talking feels pointless.

 No.250642

>>250641
Reminds me a bit of myself at the start of my NEETlife. My family did not take me seriously about being unable to do things or stand being awake. It was not until I freaked out a few times at home and mom had the day off and seen me just crying all day that they began to understand.

You really need to change your perspective or you will make NEET life worse than it can be. Try to let go of being a failure in others eyes. This is a problem only you can solve and entirely through how you process everything around yourself. I think you should know what NEET life is like as the years go on and on and if you dont want that future you need to think twice about being a NEET.

How long have you been a NEET?

 No.250643

>>250642
I'm new to being a NEET, which is why I'm struggling with it all. Dropped out of college after finally breaking down and not being able to endure it anymore. It'll be really hard to let go of how others see me, I know I must, but I've never really had any genuine goals or dreams of my own, and I've never liked myself or saw any worth in me, so getting other people's love, and living their dreams for them, living up to expectations, has always been everything to me, what justified and validated my existence, and now that I don't feel capable of doing that anymore, I sometimes feel like I might aswell be dead, my life was never centered around myself, and when I finally realized I couldn't motivate myself to live other people's dreams anymore, I also realized I didn't have dreams of my own, life to me is just a chore, it has some things I like, but they don't feel like they're enough to justify the effort existing takes. It's all just too much.

 No.250644

>>250643
Word to the wise.
Try get yourself into a habit of working on some skill daily if you can even if it is only for 30 minuets.
Be weary of these NEET communities off site that are not anonymous (social media, DM, anything like that). it is not worth dealing with the immature antics of our kin and at most having someone you talk with online at most is all that is "needed". If you cannot handle being truly isolated and alone you may never learn to enjoy your own company like a schizoid wiz.

We may not be happy and rarely enjoy ourselves but at least we do not need to work in order to feel like shit every day. Start reading good books and watching good shows, may as well be comfy while being miserable.

It takes time to let go and stop seeing yourself as everyone else and this does not mean deigning yourself as lower and under others but as a different species almost who observes but never or rarely is a part of the world.

You are lucky your parents are ok with you NEETing but at the same time this only causes you to feel worse I bet.

Try take it easy and go with the flow a NEET can still have a rich life especially if they are lucky enough to have something they care about like /hob/fags.

 No.250645

>>250644
I'd say some of what you've said is already my way of thinking in a way, at least partially. I have a hard time seeing the pursuit of happiness as life's goal anymore, because to me joy is a weak and brief feeling, especially compared to misery, which is strong and lasts, and I see that in my old peers from college, always going from goal to goal, spending months working on something and celebrating only for a little while before going to the next goal that'll take months of work and stress. I see the point of life as avoiding one's own suffering as much as possible, which is why being a NEET is the only thing that makes sense to me now, since a funcional life style causes too much suffering for me to bear. So I try to spend my days feeling as comfortable as possible, mostly in my bed, inside of my room where I feel safe, eating my mom's tasty food, I'm not exactly happy, even though part of me feels like I should be, but I'm comfortable.

I appreciate the perspective you gave me, of not seeing myself as being below others, just different, not something which can be objectively compared and ranked, though I know it'll take time for me to genuinely see things that way, if I even manage to do so, because in my whole life I always felt a need to compare myself to others and be better than everyone else, as I felt like that justified my existance in a way, especially in a highly competitive world like this, I recall competing in entrance exams, and even if I graduated I'd have to compete for jobs, it's just so stressful, I need to learn to stop seeing it all as a competition with a winner and a loser, because I'll always see myself as a loser and feel bad because of it. Either way, I'm grateful for the perspective, I'm sure it'll be good for me if I can learn to see things like this.

My parents not kicking me out and letting me be a NEET really is a relief, but like you've said it really does make me feel worse, like I'm taking advantage of them, like I'm a bad son, though I really can't help it, in a way I try not to feel too bad because I know that what I really wanted wasn't a NEET life, because while it's not as bad as other life styles, I'm still miserable, what I really wanted was to kill myself, but I've managed to avoid it until now, though I've already bought everything I need and have it hidden in my room, because it gives me comfort knowing that it's there, still, I try to feel good knowing that I've spared my parents in a way, because I feel that my suicide would make them feel worse than me being a NEET, I'm alive for their sake, even if I'm not very good at being alive, I see the point of my life as minimizing my suffering, but I want to minimize their suffering too, at least as much as I can under my current mental health conditions.

I'll try to take up more activities around the house, like cleaning, cooking, etc, so my mom doesn't have to do it, that way she'd have more time for herself to rest, I'm sure she'd appreciate that, maybe living as a NEET, but taking care of the house chores for my parents, so they can focus on just relaxing after coming home from work, is the way to go for me, depending on how accepting they are to this, on how much they appreciate it, my family life might be comfortable going forward, I just have to hope they really are accepting of me and manage to let go of any grudge, resentment or judgment, little do they know, but my life literally depends on how they treat me from now on, because I'm still here only because I don't want them to suffer with me taking my own life.

 No.250646

>>250645
Absolutely do household chores. I've always told NEETs that they should do whatever they can to make themselves nice to be around. Household chores and paying rent with bux are basically your best weapons in getting your parents to be cool with you being a NEET. Always, always do the first, and if you at all can, do the second.

(A good third is to have official diagnoses of mental illnesses, but this appeals to family more on a moral level than on a pragmatic level.)

 No.250649

>>250646
when your mental issues are too much of a burden they eventually throw you away.

 No.250652

Do something productive, show them (and yourself) you're not a waste. Help out around the house, learn some useful skills needed irl, get out and do things sometimes, make or buy them something to show appreciation.

 No.250680

>>250652
What advice could I give? I live every day pretending my life isn't as bad as it is. I try not to think about the future at all seriously anything i can do to distract myself i do it.

 No.250684

>>250646
>>250652
Agreed on the chores/housewifing part. In my mere 2 months of NEETdom, I was doing laundry, dishes, all the yard work etc. Atop of that, there must be some "middle ground" case you can consider. I was able to "ease my way" into working by starting part-time in IT, which eventually became full-time. But I'm also an aspie with a CS degree and a passion for IT, so I'm probably coming off as too privileged to be of any help. Alot of these will depend on how much you can handle, but:
>nighttime security guard
>volunteering of some kind (i.e. reshelving library books)
>graphics card scalping
>flipping houses or other items
>clinical trials
>writing a book
>day trading
The list goes on & on. Some of these will add financial value, some moral, some both. The biggest thing you need is a hobby/skill to try. Something immersive enough that it gets you out of your head and into a flow state.

 No.250690

>>250684
> The biggest thing you need is a hobby/skill to try.
repeating for hopeful effect.
fuck vidya btw it is better to read forum posts than game all day every day in some ways.

OP you need to think hard about becoming/staying a NEET because it is signing up for a potentially limited life and one where your isolation drives a wedge between yourself and others. You may think this is ok as you are happy being alone but feeling like an alien and being separate from everything normal is a strange feeling.

Your mental may well get worse if you stay a NEET without any goal at all or hobby although it matters not if your mental health declines and refuses to let you even enjoy your hobbies.

you need to do some thinking about what caused you to become a NEET and think hard if it is an expression of another problem you could work on like confidence and managing anxiety. NEET life is great but you need to be warned of what is not so great. Let go of any regrets and better not start regretting being NEET or you are in for a bad time

 No.250692

I honestly don't know why people looks down on NEET's, what? Are people happy with being wageslaves making money for some Jewwith their labor? Now being free is something to be ashamed of?

Make money by yourself if you can OP, try selling things, some years ago there was a wizard that used to combine a bunch of skincare products into some cream and started selling it and making money, you should try something like that, fuck people who tell you that you have to be a slave to have a meaningful life.

 No.250710

>>250692
You still don't get it? They are bitter that someone gets to live fairly comfy, while they need to slave away 8 hours every day.

That's why they go into ape-rage mode and start insulting them.

 No.250712

>>250710
I just remind them that if they were me they would also have to deal with severe mental illness, and it wouldn't be partying and having fun 24/7

 No.250714

>I know they love me, and I do love them
I don't understand where the problem is then. That statement entails that they accept who you are and will support you.
If they resent you, then you are wrong about something.

Personally that wasnt enough for me. I don't really care about my family, and I would rather kill myself than life with them. Luckily i was an early crypto adopter so I have escaped the live-with-parents vs wageslave dilemma for now

Suicide is a perfectly acceptable action, so if your relationship with them falls apart with them resenting you or vice versa, you should just do that. Techniques should also be considered to make them understand the situation, for example the same things that would back a neetbux application, like seeing doctors, therapists, doing embarrassing 'suicide attempts', trying to study and failing. Behave in such a way that society classes as mental illness rather than laziness, even though we know the distinction is in truth an illusion

 No.250715

>>250714
>Behave in such a way that society classes as mental illness rather than laziness, even though we know the distinction is in truth an illusion
I get that normalfags cry about meme depression continually but you do realize some people do have serious mental problems that stop them functioning and it is not just being lazy.

Next time I am having a panic attack and feel like I am tripping because it is so intense I will remnd myself I am just being lazy and same goes for psychotic breaks and so on. fuck off.

Rest of what you said I agree with however OP obviously just feels guilty so until he changes his perspective he will be subjected to it.

 No.250720

>>250712
That doesn't help, tons of normies are 80-90 IQ and think schizophrenia, severe depression, autism etc. are "made up" because it's not something instantly visible like a broken leg.

You can't reason or talk with those subhumans. It just can't be done.
They want to take away your money and benefits just to see you suffer, not because it would impact them in any way.

 No.250725

>>250715
Your aversion to the term laziness just shows that you really care a lot what people think of you. Yes, you are valid, not like those who are just lazy and deserve to be reproached by you along with society.

 No.250733

>>250725
>. Yes, you are valid
this is so important to me XOXO omg thank you so much.

care what people think of me? I am anonymous cockmuncher fagot and I am just trying to make it clear that severe mental illness exists especially among people who belong here.
maybe you crawled out of reddit where it is trendy to have "depression".

 No.250749

File: 1637965370615.png (9.65 KB, 727x153, 727:153, 1637914379036.png) ImgOps iqdb

>>250733
We all know it's you, cc. You always go on about how you don't care what people think of you but are clearly desperate to be seen as mentally ill instead of morally deficient like those "depressed" who you imply are just lazy. Also you literally made a subreddit lol

 No.250751

OP here.

>>250646
No NEETbux where I live, but I can do household chores, so I'll try. I have an official diagnosis of depression, but I don't think anyone takes it too seriously, not even myself to be honest.

>>250649
I hope that's not the case with me, though I can definitely see many parents doing this, I still trust mine enough to believe they won't though, hopefully.

>>250652
I know that these are all things that I could do, and they sound simple enough, but to me just getting out of bed can take so much energy which I barely have anymore, I feel so tired all of the time, but resting doesn't fix me, so I just stay tired, it's hard doing everything, even the smallest things, but I'll try.

>>250680
You sound a lot like me, hopefully in the future both of us can find a way out of this, anon. Good luck!

>>250684
I know easing my way into some sort of work, especially something I can do from home, is ideal, but I genuinely feel incapable of doing so, I don't really have a passion for anything, never did, I have no goals or dreams, no motivation to live except not wanting others to deal with my suicide, finding the motivation to do things like studying and/or working with something feels impossible, especially because I feel like college and work were the things that broke me in the first place, adult life in general really. All of the things you've mentioned, I'm grateful for the suggestions, but I can't do any of them, asking me to do anything besides existing can feel like way too much. I know, it's pathetic, but it's what I am.

>>250690
I don't really think I've decided to be a NEET, something I've signed up for, because I never wanted this, I always knew the negative effects it could have on me, but I genuinely couldn't stand any other life style besides this one anymore, the reason I quit college and don't look for work isn't just a matter of me not really wanting to do it, but I genuinely can't. I'm sure it's the expression of another problem, but I can't think of anything specific, me ending up like this is an expression of everything, of my life as a whole, almost everything feels wrong, which is why suicide has been my main plan for years, it just feels natural now.

>>250692
I don't have the energy to try making money anymore, the only way I can see myself making money would be to draw for money, but I already don't like drawing anymore, and having to draw for other people, with expectations and demands, just makes it worse. Even if I did make money, it'd never be enough to make up for all of the money I wasted on college, so if I'm going to be debt in human form I might aswell just accept it now.

>>250714
What I meant by this is that if they didn't love me genuinely then I'd probably have been kicked out by now, so naturally they do want my well being, they're my parents afterall, and I'm grateful for everything they've done for me, but that doesn't necessarily mean they accept the failure I've become, just because they love me and care about me, doesn't mean they don't hold grudges and resentment, they're flawed humans like me afterall. I agree suicide is acceptable, it's just that I'd like to avoid it if possible because I don't want to hurt anyone and I know suicide can be painful for those left behind, but I've already got everything ready and hidden in my wardrobe, I can leave whenever I prefer now, and it's comforting to know this. Honestly, not even I take my own depression seriously sometimes, I recall being diagnosed with it when I began college, I was bombing my exams and my parents were treating me poorly, so I asked for an appointment, and I somewhat expected the diagnosis, maybe even acted differently then I normally would during it to make sure I'd get the diagnosis I wanted. I never went to a psychiatrist looking for treatment, I wanted a shield, so I always saw my own diagnosis as manipulative on my behalf, an excuse for me being lazy, disinterested and ungrateful, not even I ever took my own depression seriously, even now where I have everything ready for my suicide method of choice. I don't know what to make of any of this.

 No.250759

>>250751
>I don't really think I've decided to be a NEET, something I've signed up for, because I never wanted this, I always knew the negative effects it could have on me, but I genuinely couldn't stand any other life style besides this one anymore, the reason I quit college and don't look for work isn't just a matter of me not really wanting to do it, but I genuinely can't. I'm sure it's the expression of another problem, but I can't think of anything specific, me ending up like this is an expression of everything, of my life as a whole, almost everything feels wrong, which is why suicide has been my main plan for years, it just feels natural now.

It wasn't a choice and never was. Globally, not just in the US, non-NT's are generally unemployed at rates of 85-90%.

Even in the UK which has done everything it can to incorporate them into 'regular society, 80% of people with aspergers or autism have never had any kind of employment as adults. No matter how highly educated.

https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/news/new-data-on-the-autism-employment-gap

Even Down syndrome adults have higher rates, with 57% of them being employed:
https://www.nchpad.org/1415/6299/Employment~in~Adults~with~Down~Syndrome

Being non-NT is an absolute soul crushing death sentence in modern society. There is *nothing* for us in life and being NEET is not a "choice", it's either that or suicide.

 No.250762

Proof that people can see whether you are neurotypical or not just by looking at you:

https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/abs/10.1089/aut.2020.0059

>Do Neurotypical People Like or Dislike Autistic People?

>Published Online:2 Sep 2021
>https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2020.0059

>Background: This study investigated whether neurotypical individuals' judgments that they dislike a person are more common when viewing autistic individuals than when viewing neurotypical individuals.


>Methods: Videos of autistic and neurotypical targets were presented to a group of perceivers (neurotypical adults) who were asked whether or not they liked each target and why.


>Results: It was more common for perceivers to “like” neurotypical than autistic targets. The number of “likes” each target received correlated very highly with perceiver ratings of target social favorability and neurotypicality.

>Perceivers cited perceived awkwardness as the reason for deciding they disliked targets.

>Conclusions: The findings shed light on how neurotypical people (mis)perceive autistic people. Such perceptions may act as a major barrier to social integration for autistic people.


You are trapped in hell.

 No.250783

>>250749
You can usually tell it's the cafecretin when it shoehorns crabs and the topic of crabs into its posts for no reason.

 No.250826

File: 1638060359778.jpg (69.14 KB, 400x400, 1:1, pensive.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>250759
>Even Down syndrome adults have higher [employment] rates



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