No NEETbux where I live, but I can do household chores, so I'll try. I have an official diagnosis of depression, but I don't think anyone takes it too seriously, not even myself to be honest.>>250649
I hope that's not the case with me, though I can definitely see many parents doing this, I still trust mine enough to believe they won't though, hopefully.>>250652
I know that these are all things that I could do, and they sound simple enough, but to me just getting out of bed can take so much energy which I barely have anymore, I feel so tired all of the time, but resting doesn't fix me, so I just stay tired, it's hard doing everything, even the smallest things, but I'll try.>>250680
You sound a lot like me, hopefully in the future both of us can find a way out of this, anon. Good luck!>>250684
I know easing my way into some sort of work, especially something I can do from home, is ideal, but I genuinely feel incapable of doing so, I don't really have a passion for anything, never did, I have no goals or dreams, no motivation to live except not wanting others to deal with my suicide, finding the motivation to do things like studying and/or working with something feels impossible, especially because I feel like college and work were the things that broke me in the first place, adult life in general really. All of the things you've mentioned, I'm grateful for the suggestions, but I can't do any of them, asking me to do anything besides existing can feel like way too much. I know, it's pathetic, but it's what I am.>>250690
I don't really think I've decided to be a NEET, something I've signed up for, because I never wanted this, I always knew the negative effects it could have on me, but I genuinely couldn't stand any other life style besides this one anymore, the reason I quit college and don't look for work isn't just a matter of me not really wanting to do it, but I genuinely can't. I'm sure it's the expression of another problem, but I can't think of anything specific, me ending up like this is an expression of everything, of my life as a whole, almost everything feels wrong, which is why suicide has been my main plan for years, it just feels natural now.>>250692
I don't have the energy to try making money anymore, the only way I can see myself making money would be to draw for money, but I already don't like drawing anymore, and having to draw for other people, with expectations and demands, just makes it worse. Even if I did make money, it'd never be enough to make up for all of the money I wasted on college, so if I'm going to be debt in human form I might aswell just accept it now.>>250714
What I meant by this is that if they didn't love me genuinely then I'd probably have been kicked out by now, so naturally they do want my well being, they're my parents afterall, and I'm grateful for everything they've done for me, but that doesn't necessarily mean they accept the failure I've become, just because they love me and care about me, doesn't mean they don't hold grudges and resentment, they're flawed humans like me afterall. I agree suicide is acceptable, it's just that I'd like to avoid it if possible because I don't want to hurt anyone and I know suicide can be painful for those left behind, but I've already got everything ready and hidden in my wardrobe, I can leave whenever I prefer now, and it's comforting to know this. Honestly, not even I take my own depression seriously sometimes, I recall being diagnosed with it when I began college, I was bombing my exams and my parents were treating me poorly, so I asked for an appointment, and I somewhat expected the diagnosis, maybe even acted differently then I normally would during it to make sure I'd get the diagnosis I wanted. I never went to a psychiatrist looking for treatment, I wanted a shield, so I always saw my own diagnosis as manipulative on my behalf, an excuse for me being lazy, disinterested and ungrateful, not even I ever took my own depression seriously, even now where I have everything ready for my suicide method of choice. I don't know what to make of any of this.