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Depression
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File: 1642101583815.png (1.34 MB, 1350x1920, 45:64, A Monster Wants To Eat Me ….png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.252951

I would do so much if it meant a chance to go back to those times, when life was carefree, where I didn't have to do anything to be loved, I simply needed to exist, everyone just treated me like I was so special, a true gift, but now there are so many expectations to live up to, responsibilities, you're expected to either work or starve, or, if you become a NEET like me, a lifestyle where you don't work, but still have your basic necessities taken care of, either by government or parents, you're looked down on and, if you leech off your parents like me, eventually they get sick of it, sick of you, even though none of us asked to be here in the first place. I wasn't suicidal back then, at all.

Perhaps my nostalgia is the reason I live the way I do, doing nothing except staying in my room, endlessly consuming media based on my favorite characters, which haven't changed at all since my childhood, I'll read, watch and most of all play whatever I can to pass the time, as I did all of those years back, and even though it does help distract me from it all, it's just not the same, back then I'd spend all day long playing with my video games and toys, like now I guess, but there weren't any thoughts in the back of my mind, about how I should be doing other activities instead of this, like studying, helping around the house, looking for a job, working, anything to justify my right to exist.

I just enjoyed life, with this odd belief that I was special somehow, that everything would always work out afterall for me. I was wrong, so wrong. I can still feel pleasure, but it's an empty pleasure that doesn't last and is simply replaced by my own despair as soon as I stop to think about everything else, the reality of my own current situation in life. I'll never feel something like the pure joy of my parents buying me a new toy or video game from my beloved franchises, or the excitement of watching a new episode from my favorite cartoon, or the beautiful feelings of being good enough. I miss when I didn't resent life, when it was about pleasure, and I could actually enjoy that pleasure.

 No.252952

It's so unfair act of fucking condemns a wizard for life of misery

 No.252953

I don't trust this feeling of nostalgia, pretty sure if i was able to go back to my childhood things would most likely suck, i'll just leave that untouched in the depths of memory till i have alzheimer's, maybe you should do the same.

 No.252954

File: 1642103716725.png (385.1 KB, 1800x1250, 36:25, C295D2DA-0B28-44F2-B771-8A….png) ImgOps iqdb

>>252951
I cannot relate. On some level I see it, as a kid all I had to do was sit in school for eight hours and I could (usually) just come home and be free. But honestly? Fuck being a child. School is worse than working in my opinion, I can’t stand homework. And I hate my family, even as a kid I could not stand them. It’s nice having meals made for you, but I’d rather pick what I’m going to eat for myself, even if it means making it myself. Maybe for those of you who are NEETs there is no negative to being a kid again because you still must cohabitate with your parents. I cannot bear the thought of doing that again. I am an independent adult, I have a car so I can go wherever I want, I have money, I live alone. Being a kid was like being a little slave. Dragged to events I didn’t want to go to, doing whatever my parents told me, dealing with my bitch sister and her shit. I hold very few good memories of being a kid, and I would not want to go back and live any of it again.

 No.252955

>>252951
I mostly just miss not being depressed. When I was young I was able to genuinely enjoy things. Sometimes I listen to music or play a game and I have this reaction where I can tell I ought to love it but I just can't feel any noticeable emotion anymore.

It's easier to cope with dissatisfaction when you're younger too, because hope isn't completely delusional yet when you're 13 or 14. By the time you get to the end of your 20s, if nothing has changed for you, nothing is ever going to.

 No.252956

>>252955
Yeah, this.

 No.252959

>>252955
>By the time you get to the end of your 20s, if nothing has changed for you, nothing is ever going to.
at least I tried or something.

 No.252973

File: 1642122163277.jpg (494.88 KB, 870x2498, 435:1249, What about now.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

I was happier in my childhood yes, but from what I remember I wouldn't like to go back to that, I was bullied in school, didn't have many friends, no videogames or decent copes etc

For me the better years were between 15-22, in high school and university, I was happier, I wasn't bullied, I even managed to get some friends to play games with (weird weeb outcasts just like me) I was happy playing vidya, listening to music, watching anime and shit without any real responsibilities and without worries, I had some bullshit problems that in retrospective were not serious at all, those times were fun.

But I'm 26 now, my life has stagnated completely, In fact it stagnated so much that I never really grew up beyond 15-16 y/o mentally, people often talks about "skipping" stages of development but this isn't what happened, I never managed to get past 15 y/o in my mind, I even act like a 15 year old, since I never got the usual things that make people grow up as adults (work, responsibilities, romantic relationships etc) I never developed the skillset necessary to be an adult.

Now I have a 16 y/o brain trapped inside a 26y/o body, and of course people expects me to do shit according to my age, but I just can't, I liked that stage of my life so much that I'm permanently stuck on it while the rest of the world and my own body moved on a decade ago and left me behind.

 No.252974

>>252973
Is the author of Neeko an ex-NEET? Some moments from the manga were much too close for comfort.

 No.252988

If I got that chance I would rather never exist in the first place instead.

 No.252991

I liked being a kid but I was always bullied so I’m not sure how I would feel about doing it again

 No.252992

>>252988
SAME

I also hated my childhood as other anon mentioned you was slave of your parents and I hated that.I only miss years of 16-22 when I was more happy now I’m 29 everything is worse but I prefer to not exist or born still

 No.252993

I was only happier because of
>>252955 reasons provided in this post.
Life was always shit.



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