/dep/ - Depression

I have similar, I would crawl my way up to your level and then just fall back to square one, nothing works except meds

>>255341
The only solution I ever found to this was that if I put a ton of effort into being fit and attractive, allistics would treat me enough like a human that I could function. Eventually I let things slip and everything went to hell again though, so it doesn’t seem to work long-term unless you have superhuman levels of self-discipline over your appearance.

>>255341
>>255344
stop caring about what normies think of you… just do whatever you need to do and gtfo. I used to be like you before but then I did some reading about the ego.

>>255341
Don't. You are better off alone.

>>255345
I have been trying really hard to adopt this mentality. I think of it as the killer instinct. Lots of people just dont give a fuck about what people think about them and some will do things knowing full well it will piss people off, even going out of their way just to make people miserable. This is why people decide to bully people. I try to go out of my way to screw people over and expose myself to that situation, but I still get self conscious. Sometimes if I screw someone over badly, I sympathize with them deeply, because I remember how I felt when I was in those kinds of situations. I think I have the prey mentality. I naturally am inclined to appease people and the only way I can converse with people is jestermaxxing. I think it is a lot easier for normalgroids to develop a killer instinct and not get self conscious when they have had a positive feedback loop established since their youth and have people that love them, and they have never been "that guy". not trying to make excuses though. I think if I can foster enough rage and disgust towards all things normal, I will see them as beneath me and not care what they think. That is my strategy now.
>>255348
>You are better off alone.
1000% agree. I have totally cut myself off from as much human interaction as possible. I don't even use the internet much anymore. I put parental controls on my shit so I only use it at most 10 minutes a day. It's so much better for my psychology to distance myself from these evil sociopathic normalniggers. But my parents aren't supporting me so for the time being I need to work until I can NEET long term

Get some benzos and mix them with alcohol,worked fine for me for some time. Then I had a reality check that didnt work in the long term because I was turning into an alcoholic with benzo addiction

>>255345
Anything in particular to read?

>>255382
I think you're missing the bigger picture since it's all about social hierarchy. People who are low in the social hierarchy tend to humiliate others in order to get a sense of power and control in compensation and people like us are often at the lowest because of our personalities or lack thereof and thats why we often get shit on by people who are considered to be losers by others as well. Normies are not just normies, there's different social statuses but you only look at the behavior of frustrated low status people who act in ways as you describe them.

Everyone faces negative things in life and negative feedback but not everyone is mentally ill from a young age and that's why people perceive things differently.

>>255344
Unfortunately this.
Going from complete shutin unable to properly shop in a store to semi functional was doable (for me at least) through routine exposure therapy. But being able to interact with people on a relaxed level did not happen until I put on a considerable amount of muscle mass. I still have trouble with eye contact and I virtually never initiate communication but I am able to have a regular conversation with someone without shitting myself or saying weird things. I'm not popular or the life of the party or anyone's first choice of someone to talk to but at least I get some level of respect, something I never got before.

>>255341
Depends on what kind of ppl you're forced to interact with.
I'd say exposure if they're decent people. After some time the anxiety lessens.
If the people u come across with are rude or hostile, then the anxiety response is completely valid and natural: you either cut off them somehow, or dominate them by standing up for yourself.

>>255386
>Everyone faces negative things in life and negative feedback but not everyone is mentally ill from a young age and that's why people perceive things differently.
This is bullshit. The negative things in my life are worse than 100% of the negative things in normies lives

>>255344
This has actually been my plan for like 10 years now. Only problem is, I can never get up the energy to exercise so I've made zero progress towards this goal.

>>255341
Take ashwagandha. It helped me to deal with social situations without defaulting to fight or flight mode, and once I stopped taking it I never had crippling social anxiety since. There are plenty of supplements, vitamins, and minerals that can help you far better than kike pharmaceuticals, but your mileage depends on doing your own research.

>>255341
I don't know but personally speaking nac has helped me alot

>>255397
I’ve been doing exposures you midwif. I have experience doing them with other things. It’s not working rn. In the past, it would just magically go away after some time with exposures. Now it’s not. Psychology is such a fucking meme. There is no necessary connection that shows that just because something worked in the past means it will work now

Lol kill yourself faggot

>>255341
Try shock treatment by doing some insane exposition and ridicule of yourself. Have a walk around without pants (not with your dick hanging out, I mean in underwear), or go to a busy place with some girly shirt or something like that, or approach random people and rant about anything, forcing yourself by exaggerating your voice and mouth movements. This develops an iron will.

>>257542
This will likely traumatize OP even more. Anyone suffering chronically from social anxiety probably has a deep mistrust of other people and has a learned expectation that any interaction will go badly and lead to emotional pain of some kind. The only way to cure yourself of that is to have quality relationship(s) with people that will allow you to finally trust and lean into them, gradually revealing painful parts of yourself and receiving genuine warm empathy in return. That's the kind of experience that can afford you the ability to be secure in yourself when you're among strangers. Most people receive that from their parents, family and peer group. Some never do and then either go through adult life an anxious mess or develop into a schizoid and cope with self-sufficiency and self-reliance above all else.

>>257544
The true solution is becoming the anxiety.

>>257545
We should all take turns being the anxiety.

Anti-depressants and mood stabilizers can remove much of the anxiety, while beta blockers can help stop panic attacks without being addictive.

Therapists would probably use 'exposure therapy' to make you confront your fears. But IMO, you will never feel comfortable being around people even if your anxiety is mostly gone.

>>257544
true. exposure is a shitty meme that people think is a panacea for some reason

>>257546
But then what if you get super anxious knowing it's your turn next?

>>257595
Then you perceive that All is anxiety and transcend the anxiety/non-anxiety duality.

Just want to say I have debilitating social anxiety as well. Oddly enough I can do normal things outside like going to the store or making phone calls. But when it comes to trying to make friendships or talk to people online it all falls apart. Unless I'm talking about myself I don't know what to even talk about. It's so hard to be filter free and "fun" when you're this tense.

>>257713
I do believe the main reason, for me at least, is that I'm boring.

>>255341
I have ordered some lithium orotate that's on its way.
Will report back if it helps me against my intrusive thoughts.

>>257717
I've noticed that normie's love to talk about themselves. I like to call this "Conversational Socratic Method." Where I'll ask someone on the other party questions focused on them so that they keep the conversation going for me because they love talking about themselves so much. The formula goes like this:

- Flip a question they ask me right back to being about themselves. I've noticed that normies have this huge psychological projection going on. When they ask you bullshit like, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND ANON?" or "ARE YOU EXCITED FOR THE GAME?" what they really are trying to do is get an excuse to TELL you what THEY'RE going to do on the weekend or why THEY'RE excited for the latest sportsball event.
-After this, pick out keyword X in what they just said and ask, "Oh, X, huh?" over and over again until the elevator has reached your floor.

Example:
Them, "So anon, what are you doing this weekend?"
Me, "Oh, you have plans?"
Them, "Blablabla NASCAR blablabla 29 blablabla teammate."
Me, not knowing who the hell '29' is, "29 (*) must be having a hell of a season, huh?"
Them, "Blablabla, 29's teammate, blablabla."
Me, going off of the fact that they've repeated the word 'teammate' twice, but still having no idea what the fuck is going on, "NASCAR teammates are pretty important, huh?"
Them, "BLABLABLABLABLABLA–"holy shit he will not shut up now, "BLABLABLABLA."

>>257713
I learned these conversational formulae by rote memory reading fucking etiquette books. Idk if it'd help you, but it did me. Some books get ridiculously specific about how exactly to carry out a conversation, which really helped me because I could follow it by rote or look up certain situations beforehand (for example, I used to get extremely about making a phone call like to make a dentist appointment–so I'd end up looking up in an etiquette book, and some books will _have a fucking section about what to say when making a phone call for an appointment_). You think you'd end up sounding like a robot, but after I started doing this, people have oddly told me that I started to sound _less_ like a robot. I think what's really going on is that people are so self-centered that they completely overlook it.

>>255341
I'm still not rid off it entirely but I think I'm getting somewhere. Reminding myself that most people are vastly different than me helps. I had an obession with being honest and friendly even if it caused me to suffer a lot. Now I remind myself that I'm something else than normal people and manipulate them (nothing malicious) for my well being. In my opinion "autistic" people shouldn't be afraid to go this route, this world is no place for complete honesty.

>>257818
Autistic people are usually unable to perform the subterfuge that neurotypicals excel at due to difficulties in processing verbal and unspoken social cues; and there's the fact that autistics tend to be more honest and up-front in general…but sure. Mr. Honest and Friendly Sociopath.

>>257806
That actually sounds like a decent idea, don't know why I didn't think of it all this time . Always pushed the thought aside because I would think I would sound like a retard but now I remember when I used to work retail a long time ago I started out being an autistic mute that almost got fired to quickly figuring out the perfect formula to keep customers entertained for the 2 minutes I had to deal with them.
Since I had 0 social ability beforehand this method carried over to any interactions I had and ended up sounded like a retard again since it obviously wouldn't work in non retail environments.

I can't talk to people cuz I'm autistic and I smell bad

>>258534
Have you tried showering

>>258543
can't wash of the 'tism

>>258546
At this point the meaning of autism has become so polluted that it should be removed from the DSM and replaced with some other polite way of saying retarded, and something like “neglect-induced social adjustment disorder”. I still believe the latter is not neurological and completely treatable with some combination of plastic surgery and social skill rehabilitation to make up for the learning missed in adolescence.

>>258550
word "autistic" is just overused on chans and similar sites. For normalfags it still means what it used to. They don't call our kind "autists", but simply losers or weirdos. There might be some normie minority who uses chanspeech irl to sound cool or something though

>>258554
poor or struggling people would just use the most pejorative version of the word and call you a retard. this is a big reason why i struggle against this idea of equating eccentricity or reclusive behavior with "autism". most people don't want to be seen as a retard.

>>258554
also, well-read and anti-social people like myself don't enjoy being pathologized for being different or not following normal social cues. i do not respect this culture and the majority of the people that make it up.

>>255341
Do they get their dose from you? I think this happens due to you being obstructed to output an equal treat against them, so they be the ones bothered.

My misanthropy wore away at my social anxiety over the years and I started getting off on normalfags not liking me and being eccentric. I get excluded from things, overtly so, but I don't really care. And when I have shit treatment leveled against me I have the ability to escalate things to the point where they don't bother again.

I feel a desire for social connection. But between my autism, mental illness and hatred of humanity, there's only like 1/100 people I enjoy talking to.

If you don't want to be bullied OP, just remember this magic rule. All bullying comes down to a mixture of
>need for validation
>Obvious neuroticism
>Inability to establish limits

I'm neurotic as all hell, but because I establish limits and don't care what they think of me, I get by fine.

>>257806
Do you have any books in particular that you would recommend?

>>261548
you still have desire. That sickness still has traces in you.

>>257806
I simply ignore them. Whatever I do is not their concern.
>but still fear their reprisal, don't you?

>>261548
cynicism is a defense mechanism that humans cannot have without being hypocrites
still you have low iq cynics that think they are gods with no firm attachment onto life and possession
in bullying others with negativity or by preying on desperation, they like doing onto others what they would not want to be done to them by others

proud bullies could argue that it is a form of therapy, or that people should do that more often to another in order to keep ourselves in check, but that works only in the confines of that one culture that they live in. if they went to brazil where desperation is about not being mutilated with a machete, have fun keeping yourselves in check there.


the only worth in bullying someone is when that someone is a threat to the wellbeing of others

I could not help you, since I ignore such thoughts.

>>261556
Not him but read Machiavelli's "The Prince", The 48 Laws of Power, and Dale Carnegie "How to Win Friends and Influence People" then find a captive audience to experiment on with these techniques. They really work

I have lived on my own and gone to the grocery store every 3 days or so for 3 years. Every time I still feel like I cant breathe. I make a list of things to buy but cant even read properly while im in there. A few times I left items behind after packing stuff in my bag because i feel the pressure of the people in the line and need to escape. I thought exposure therapy would work but it doesnt seem to be working for me. I feel so defeated. I dont see the point in going to a doctor because last time they just give SSRIs (useless, evil shit) and tell me to do therapy (I cant)