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File: 1657572016093.jpg (28.86 KB, 945x639, 105:71, sadness.JPG) ImgOps iqdb

 No.261505

My past hit me.
I denied one situation from my consciousness for a long time.
One situation from my childhood probably damaged my whole life.
Long time ago, when I was a teenager at school somebody aimed laser pointer at my eyes. My eyes hurt badly, so I went to eye doctor (but I went to eye doctor after one month, for one month I suffered a lot with my eyes, I felt so much pain almost all the time, because my mother and family told me that I m hypochondriac and everything will be fine and I dont need to see a doctor). But at least my mother sent me to eye doctor. Better late than never as they say.

My doctor showed me then picture of my two eyes and the picture showed that one eye is damaged very badly, while damage in second eye seemed to be much lesser in comparision to the second eye. Eye doctor assigned me medications and pills and thats all. My eyes stopped hurt and I felt better after taking medications. Homever, from that day one my head hurts in the back from time to time.

Homever thats not all. Laser pointers are very dangerous. Damage from laser pointer may be long time not visible. Your eyesight may be perfect, you may see not much effects, but in the future problems would appear (in worst case scenario you could be blind). Its basically uncurable, when your eyes are already damage. There's no cure.

What worries me the most is not that I may be blind in the future, what worries me most is that I dont know when I will be blind. I live in uncertainty. I wish I could at least know how long my eyesight will be good and when it would be over for me.

Therefore, even if you have a bad life, be glad that at least your health is good.

 No.261514

You know what they say, an eye for an eye.

 No.261521

if you have a waifu, you should stare at them all day every day. one of my worst fears is forgetting what mine looks like.

 No.261534

>>261521
>sounds like a coomer

 No.261547

Sorry, always I remember that I want to kill myself.

 No.261605

>>261505
Sucks to hear that anon. But for what you said, one of your eyes was damage much less, so even if you're worried about one, the other looks like its in a good state. If you're that worried you could go to a doctor again so he may give you any indications that could help you. But all in all, for what the other doctor told you, you're probably in a more healthy state that you're giving it credit.

Anyways this shows up how much people from our childhood can affect us. Your mother didn't even care too much about you and the other kid wasn't punished or stopped from harming you. You may not have received an apology.

 No.261615

laser pointer feels

 No.261633

File: 1657814266067.png (935.79 KB, 644x644, 1:1, Screenshot_142.png) ImgOps iqdb

>be glad that at least your health is good

 No.261637

>>261605
>But for what you said, one of your eyes was damage much less, so even if you're worried about one, the other looks like its in a good state
First, my mother sent me to doctor one month after my eyes were hurt. In cases like that I should be send to doctor as fast as possible not after fucking one month… Perhaps if I were send to doctor faster, my second eye would be saved, but at that moment I doubt that.
>If you're that worried you could go to a doctor again so he may give you any indications that could help you.
It's incurable. I would go to the doctor only if he could evaluate when I finally will go blind. But I doubt that he could exactly evaluate that thing.
>Anyways this shows up how much people from our childhood can affect us. Your mother didn't even care too much about you and the other kid wasn't punished or stopped from harming you.
Yes, and there are people on earth who say bullshit things like ,,your past doesnt matter" "stop using your past as a excuse for your shit life!"
My supervising teacher yelled at that kid in the corridor, when the teacher got to know what that kid did to me from my mother, but thats was all, there were no other consequences.

 No.261641

>>261637
Yes, but sometimes headache like you said can happen because you´re forcing the eyesight. And again, there's the fact that your eyes are in different shape. What hurt could do that you visit another doctor and at least ask some questions? If you need some glasses, maybe that can make something for you because it would force less your eyesight for example. Taking a little care of yourself can make a difference (since many don't have someone else to do it).
>Yes, and there are people on earth who say bullshit things like
Yes, a very evil and despicable way of thinking. If anything how things of our childhood affect us are completely underestimated, and this is a thing that any psychologist worth in salt can tell you. They start even before we have a consciousness, and they stay there for life. And these things can be helped, but the reality is that a lot of the time, nobody wants to help. There are more people looking for an excuse for they being awful mothers, fathers, brother or just persons in general. So saying "your past doesn't matter" is the perfect, convenient pretext they tell others and themselves. And that is obviously way more easy that actually trying to help.

 No.261643


 No.261646

>>261641
>And again, there's the fact that your eyes are in different shape. What hurt could do that you visit another doctor and at least ask some questions?
Not bad idea, lately I ve been thinking about same thing.
Also when on internet I read something on black background and then I go to other site where there is a white background something weird happens, I see lots of blinking dots, eye flashes, etc.
In both eyes they are the same, I examined that. So that may mean that both eyes are damaged enough to make me blind in the future.

 No.261767

Also I ve notice when its quite bright outside and when I focus my eyesight for at least 15 seconds on pavement, then I m starting too see at 2 quite big grey dots.

I examined too eyes and its the same picture, no matter which eye I use.
I guess its a bad sign. And I still have no idea for how much longer my eyesight could stay in good condition…

 No.261786

File: 1658118790399.jpeg (1.04 MB, 878x1530, 439:765, 7d7.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

>>261514
A fear of losing one's eyesight can lead a man to extreme places.

 No.261922

>>261786
I dont get it

 No.261927

>>261922
there's nothing to get, it's a joke based on some tired meme

 No.261930

>>261505
And what happened to the person that did that to you?

 No.261999

>>261930
Nothing happened. As I said before
>>261637 Only once teacher in corridor yelled at him, and thats all.
I dont know much how he lives nowadays, but I know that he had a child at age 18 and later he was married with some succubi. I guess he just lives normally, has a wife and child and job. Karma doesnt exist.

 No.262031

>>261505
Im so sorry for you anon, im tearing up at the sadness of what happened to you and how deeply it affects your life to this day, I hope you find peace somehow, im stuck in a hellhole forever.

 No.262035

File: 1658462511015.jpeg (534.64 KB, 1280x1024, 5:4, 517.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

I've posted about this so much on here. But I keep on feeling sad and depressed about the few years I was bullied into working heavy construction.

I wish my parents just left me alone. I wish they just threw me out of the house and never spoke to me. Why was it constantly "YOU MUST DO THIS OR YOUR LIFE IS IRREVOCABLY OVER" and constant shaming 3 hours a day, day in day out, for my entire early adulthood.

 No.262064

Also I remember one thing too. When my eyes hurt back then and my parents didnt want to send me to the doctor, my mother told her mother about my hurting eyes, so my grandmother yelled at me that this is my fault that my eyes hurts, "it hurts because you spend too much time at the computer!"

Which was total bullshit.

 No.262065

>>261999
If god exists its definetely not a good and just god. Evil people do evil things everyday and nothing happens to them. They just laugh and live their blessed lives while the boys that suffer live in anguish and misery. God is not good or just anyone who says otherwise is a moron.

 No.262067

File: 1658498568313.jpg (37.66 KB, 564x542, 282:271, FUHCwO5WAAAjNVU.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>262065
Agreed, but it is more reasonable to know that there is no God or gods, it also keeps you sane that after you die you will go "sleepy boy mode" for eternity, none of that 'muh sins muh judgment' guilt trip bullshit.

 No.262107

World goverments logic:
>guns are illegal in most countries in the world, in typical country when you want to buy a gun you must have permisson and you must pass psychiatric examinations, also you must be at least 18 years old
>Laser pointers - every stupid child can buy one. Only super strong laser pointers cannot be bought that easily and are limited to normal people. But normal lasers are easy to buy.

 No.262256

Also I remember one thing. I regain memory.
When the teacher at the corridor yelled at person who aimed laser pointer at me, later she told me that fault is partially mine, because I m outsider, who doesnt integrate with peers.

 No.262266

>>262067
What would you say if I told you there is no judgment and no sins either but gods exist and death isn't the end?

>>262065
Monotheism is stupid. Polytheism describes our universe much better and the contradictions in it. There is no single will ruling over everything, instead multiple wills exist.

 No.262271

>>262256
I am sure you regret not having punched him pretty hard

 No.263011

What would wizards do in situation like that?

 No.263058

>>262256
just a succubi moment. They can never deliver justice unless its against themselves. Then they care. I have no clue what Id do in a ticking time bomb situation like yours wiz. Maybe get some Jesus powers? hes the only wizard I know that mentions healing the cancer RNG that is existing.

 No.263059

File: 1659979154105.jpg (45.93 KB, 800x568, 100:71, 1658852965001941.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>262266
>What would you say if I told you there is no judgment and no sins either but gods exist and death isn't the end?
Good thing it is all bullshit.

 No.263147

>>263059
Said the indoctrinated materialist who refuses to even consider for a sec that maybe his worldview isn't the ultimate truth.

 No.263149

>>263147
>person believes his beliefs
woah

 No.263154

>>263147
How are you any less indoctrinated, exactly? Not even involved with this conversation, I just want to know how you're totally above it.

 No.263179

>>263147
Religion is the biggest indoctrination. You’re a fool.

 No.263204

>>263149
>>263154
Huge difference between someone who believes the things society tells him to believe and someone who forms his worldviews independently. Materialism is the common mainstream thought since a couple of centuries ago.

>>263154
I'm not religious. This isn't about religion vs non-religion. This is about mainstream materialism vs spiritualism.

 No.263206

>>263204
No, that doesn't suffice as an answer I'm afraid; how are you any less indoctrinated? How is what you believe any more organic just because you personally came to believe in it? People believe in ridiculous garbage all the time, coming to those beliefs on their own. Making a choice to believe in ridiculous garbage on your own doesn't make it any less ridiculous, nor does it mean that the conclusion you've reached is any more correct or that it's somehow inorganic.

Are you truly suggesting that just because something isn't mainstream, that it suddenly makes it organic and correct? I've never said anything about you being religious, might I add.

 No.263209

>>263204
And how do you know he didn't arrive at materialism independently? What is this stupid philosophical hipster shit.

 No.263211

>>263209
Thank you, you've phrased it better than I could, after noticing an error in my post.

 No.263225

>>263206
It does suffice for an answer, I'm afraid.
>how are you any less indoctrinated?
Do you even know what the word means? I'll give you the official definition so you won't have to look it up yourself: the process of teaching a person or group to accept a set of beliefs uncritically. You can't indoctrinate yourself, you can be indoctrinated by others only.

If you can't see the difference between someone who believes things others tell him to believe and someone who reached a worldview independently then I'm afraid we can't continue this discussion. The latter example used critical thinking and contemplation so he is leagues above the sheep who just put his faith into what others told him. And I have to question this too
>People believe in ridiculous garbage all the time, coming to those beliefs on their own.
No, it is exactly the opposite. People tend to believe in retarded things when they let themselves be convinced easily by mainstream culture. People who are honest intellectually and search for the truth on their own are always superior to those who just conform to expectations.

>>263209
Given that materialism is the standard, common thought system nowadays and been that in the last few centuries I seriously doubt that my materialist friend thought about things deeply. It's always easier to just eat up what others shit.

 No.263230

>>263225
Oh okay, since you said it suffices and all I suppose you are correct.

 No.263234

laser pointers should be outlawed

 No.263246

>>263234
Nonsense, they have their uses. One of my main hobbies involves lasers, especially their construction.

 No.263249

>>263204
Spiritualism is just anodyne man. It does nothing productive. Nice bedtime story though, "death isn't the end I swear ;_;". Riveting stuff.

 No.263259

>>263230
That's not the only thing I wrote, maybe read the rest of it.

>>263249
Death as the ultimate end is just an idealistic wish. You will suffer and live and experience new things, friend. Afterlife isn't necessarily all fun and roses. Nice bedtime story though, "death is the end I swear :(" Riveting stuff.

 No.263273

File: 1660257320934.png (322.8 KB, 620x739, 620:739, 1635262490768.png) ImgOps iqdb

>>263259
>That's not the only thing I wrote, maybe read the rest of it.
No, I don't think I need to, you'd be surprised how revealing an initial remark can be. You're nothing but a snarky, very effeminate and catty person that wouldn't be out of place at posting someplace like lolcow.farm or God forbid, even Kiwi Farms. Last post you're getting from me, but I can't say you didn't earn this.

 No.263287

>>263259

that's just like, your opinion, man.

 No.263307

File: 1660331507759.jpg (24.54 KB, 513x447, 171:149, jkjkk.jpg) ImgOps iqdb


 No.264403

I just wonder, if damage in one eye is a lot more serious than damage in second eye, would that mean that in the future firstly I will be blind only in one eye and some time must pass to be blind in second eye also?

 No.264406

>>264403
Why would it get worse with time? The damage has already been done it will probably not get much worse, you will just have normal degradation from senescence like everyone else.

 No.265294

>>264406
No, you're wrong.
>As the laser power increases, the chance of eye injury increases. Even blinking may not help. Laser beam can cause permanent blind spots. This has been known to happen in people who stared into the laser on a dare by others, inebriated individuals and uninformed, innocent victims. If the person was looking straight at the laser, the burn will be in the center of a person’s vision. In extreme cases of eye damage, central vision could be almost fully lost, and the person becomes permanently legally blind in that eye. This is similar to the damage seen by people staring at a solar eclipse without protection.
>central vision could be almost fully lost
https://eyedoctorsite.com/blog/can-laser-pointers-cause-blindness/



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