My past hit me.
I denied one situation from my consciousness for a long time.
One situation from my childhood probably damaged my whole life.
Long time ago, when I was a teenager at school somebody aimed laser pointer at my eyes. My eyes hurt badly, so I went to eye doctor (but I went to eye doctor after one month, for one month I suffered a lot with my eyes, I felt so much pain almost all the time, because my mother and family told me that I m hypochondriac and everything will be fine and I dont need to see a doctor). But at least my mother sent me to eye doctor. Better late than never as they say.
My doctor showed me then picture of my two eyes and the picture showed that one eye is damaged very badly, while damage in second eye seemed to be much lesser in comparision to the second eye. Eye doctor assigned me medications and pills and thats all. My eyes stopped hurt and I felt better after taking medications. Homever, from that day one my head hurts in the back from time to time.
Homever thats not all. Laser pointers are very dangerous. Damage from laser pointer may be long time not visible. Your eyesight may be perfect, you may see not much effects, but in the future problems would appear (in worst case scenario you could be blind). Its basically uncurable, when your eyes are already damage. There's no cure.
What worries me the most is not that I may be blind in the future, what worries me most is that I dont know when I will be blind. I live in uncertainty. I wish I could at least know how long my eyesight will be good and when it would be over for me.
Therefore, even if you have a bad life, be glad that at least your health is good.
You know what they say, an eye for an eye.
if you have a waifu, you should stare at them all day every day. one of my worst fears is forgetting what mine looks like.
Sorry, always I remember that I want to kill myself.
Sucks to hear that anon. But for what you said, one of your eyes was damage much less, so even if you're worried about one, the other looks like its in a good state. If you're that worried you could go to a doctor again so he may give you any indications that could help you. But all in all, for what the other doctor told you, you're probably in a more healthy state that you're giving it credit.
Anyways this shows up how much people from our childhood can affect us. Your mother didn't even care too much about you and the other kid wasn't punished or stopped from harming you. You may not have received an apology.
laser pointer feels
>>261605>But for what you said, one of your eyes was damage much less, so even if you're worried about one, the other looks like its in a good state
First, my mother sent me to doctor one month after my eyes were hurt. In cases like that I should be send to doctor as fast as possible not after fucking one month… Perhaps if I were send to doctor faster, my second eye would be saved, but at that moment I doubt that.>If you're that worried you could go to a doctor again so he may give you any indications that could help you.
It's incurable. I would go to the doctor only if he could evaluate when I finally will go blind. But I doubt that he could exactly evaluate that thing.>Anyways this shows up how much people from our childhood can affect us. Your mother didn't even care too much about you and the other kid wasn't punished or stopped from harming you.
Yes, and there are people on earth who say bullshit things like ,,your past doesnt matter" "stop using your past as a excuse for your shit life!"
My supervising teacher yelled at that kid in the corridor, when the teacher got to know what that kid did to me from my mother, but thats was all, there were no other consequences.
Yes, but sometimes headache like you said can happen because you´re forcing the eyesight. And again, there's the fact that your eyes are in different shape. What hurt could do that you visit another doctor and at least ask some questions? If you need some glasses, maybe that can make something for you because it would force less your eyesight for example. Taking a little care of yourself can make a difference (since many don't have someone else to do it).>Yes, and there are people on earth who say bullshit things like
Yes, a very evil and despicable way of thinking. If anything how things of our childhood affect us are completely underestimated, and this is a thing that any psychologist worth in salt can tell you. They start even before we have a consciousness, and they stay there for life. And these things can be helped, but the reality is that a lot of the time, nobody wants to help. There are more people looking for an excuse for they being awful mothers, fathers, brother or just persons in general. So saying "your past doesn't matter" is the perfect, convenient pretext they tell others and themselves. And that is obviously way more easy that actually trying to help.
>>261641>And again, there's the fact that your eyes are in different shape. What hurt could do that you visit another doctor and at least ask some questions?
Not bad idea, lately I ve been thinking about same thing.
Also when on internet I read something on black background and then I go to other site where there is a white background something weird happens, I see lots of blinking dots, eye flashes, etc.
In both eyes they are the same, I examined that. So that may mean that both eyes are damaged enough to make me blind in the future.
Also I ve notice when its quite bright outside and when I focus my eyesight for at least 15 seconds on pavement, then I m starting too see at 2 quite big grey dots.
I examined too eyes and its the same picture, no matter which eye I use.
I guess its a bad sign. And I still have no idea for how much longer my eyesight could stay in good condition…
there's nothing to get, it's a joke based on some tired meme
And what happened to the person that did that to you?
Nothing happened. As I said before>>261637
Only once teacher in corridor yelled at him, and thats all.
I dont know much how he lives nowadays, but I know that he had a child at age 18 and later he was married with some succubi. I guess he just lives normally, has a wife and child and job. Karma doesnt exist.
Im so sorry for you anon, im tearing up at the sadness of what happened to you and how deeply it affects your life to this day, I hope you find peace somehow, im stuck in a hellhole forever.
Also I remember one thing too. When my eyes hurt back then and my parents didnt want to send me to the doctor, my mother told her mother about my hurting eyes, so my grandmother yelled at me that this is my fault that my eyes hurts, "it hurts because you spend too much time at the computer!"
Which was total bullshit.
If god exists its definetely not a good and just god. Evil people do evil things everyday and nothing happens to them. They just laugh and live their blessed lives while the boys that suffer live in anguish and misery. God is not good or just anyone who says otherwise is a moron.
World goverments logic:
>guns are illegal in most countries in the world, in typical country when you want to buy a gun you must have permisson and you must pass psychiatric examinations, also you must be at least 18 years old
>Laser pointers - every stupid child can buy one. Only super strong laser pointers cannot be bought that easily and are limited to normal people. But normal lasers are easy to buy.
Also I remember one thing. I regain memory.
When the teacher at the corridor yelled at person who aimed laser pointer at me, later she told me that fault is partially mine, because I m outsider, who doesnt integrate with peers.
What would you say if I told you there is no judgment and no sins either but gods exist and death isn't the end?>>262065
Monotheism is stupid. Polytheism describes our universe much better and the contradictions in it. There is no single will ruling over everything, instead multiple wills exist.
I am sure you regret not having punched him pretty hard
What would wizards do in situation like that?
just a succubi moment. They can never deliver justice unless its against themselves. Then they care. I have no clue what Id do in a ticking time bomb situation like yours wiz. Maybe get some Jesus powers? hes the only wizard I know that mentions healing the cancer RNG that is existing.
Said the indoctrinated materialist who refuses to even consider for a sec that maybe his worldview isn't the ultimate truth.
>>263147>person believes his beliefs
How are you any less indoctrinated, exactly? Not even involved with this conversation, I just want to know how you're totally above it.
Religion is the biggest indoctrination. You’re a fool.
Huge difference between someone who believes the things society tells him to believe and someone who forms his worldviews independently. Materialism is the common mainstream thought since a couple of centuries ago.>>263154
I'm not religious. This isn't about religion vs non-religion. This is about mainstream materialism vs spiritualism.
No, that doesn't suffice as an answer I'm afraid; how are you any less indoctrinated? How is what you believe any more organic just because you personally came to believe in it? People believe in ridiculous garbage all the time, coming to those beliefs on their own. Making a choice to believe in ridiculous garbage on your own doesn't make it any less ridiculous, nor does it mean that the conclusion you've reached is any more correct or that it's somehow inorganic.
Are you truly suggesting that just because something isn't mainstream, that it suddenly makes it organic and correct? I've never said anything about you being religious, might I add.
And how do you know he didn't arrive at materialism independently? What is this stupid philosophical hipster shit.
Thank you, you've phrased it better than I could, after noticing an error in my post.
It does suffice for an answer, I'm afraid.>how are you any less indoctrinated?
Do you even know what the word means? I'll give you the official definition so you won't have to look it up yourself: the process of teaching a person or group to accept a set of beliefs uncritically. You can't indoctrinate yourself, you can be indoctrinated by others only.
If you can't see the difference between someone who believes things others tell him to believe and someone who reached a worldview independently then I'm afraid we can't continue this discussion. The latter example used critical thinking and contemplation so he is leagues above the sheep who just put his faith into what others told him. And I have to question this too>People believe in ridiculous garbage all the time, coming to those beliefs on their own.
No, it is exactly the opposite. People tend to believe in retarded things when they let themselves be convinced easily by mainstream culture. People who are honest intellectually and search for the truth on their own are always superior to those who just conform to expectations.>>263209
Given that materialism is the standard, common thought system nowadays and been that in the last few centuries I seriously doubt that my materialist friend thought about things deeply. It's always easier to just eat up what others shit.
Oh okay, since you said it suffices and all I suppose you are correct.
laser pointers should be outlawed
Nonsense, they have their uses. One of my main hobbies involves lasers, especially their construction.
Spiritualism is just anodyne man. It does nothing productive. Nice bedtime story though, "death isn't the end I swear ;_;". Riveting stuff.
That's not the only thing I wrote, maybe read the rest of it.>>263249
Death as the ultimate end is just an idealistic wish. You will suffer and live and experience new things, friend. Afterlife isn't necessarily all fun and roses. Nice bedtime story though, "death is the end I swear :(" Riveting stuff.
that's just like, your opinion, man.
I just wonder, if damage in one eye is a lot more serious than damage in second eye, would that mean that in the future firstly I will be blind only in one eye and some time must pass to be blind in second eye also?
Why would it get worse with time? The damage has already been done it will probably not get much worse, you will just have normal degradation from senescence like everyone else.
No, you're wrong.>As the laser power increases, the chance of eye injury increases. Even blinking may not help. Laser beam can cause permanent blind spots. This has been known to happen in people who stared into the laser on a dare by others, inebriated individuals and uninformed, innocent victims. If the person was looking straight at the laser, the burn will be in the center of a person’s vision. In extreme cases of eye damage, central vision could be almost fully lost, and the person becomes permanently legally blind in that eye. This is similar to the damage seen by people staring at a solar eclipse without protection.>central vision could be almost fully losthttps://eyedoctorsite.com/blog/can-laser-pointers-cause-blindness/