When you open a circlejerk thread trying to heal your depression but only makes everyone feel worse due repeated addition of personal miseries where no one gets to ever solve a thing
How do you solve an unsolvable problem?
I hate summer so much. Even though I live in a small town there is a concert, festival or simply loud house party every damned weekend a few kms away from where I live. And the sound carries even here, like I said these things happen kms from my house but I hear them clearly even now with the open window…which I have to keep open at night because the weather is so hot.
I hate normals and their retarded ritualistic orgies so much. Why can't everyone just be at home in peace doing his own thing without bothering others?? Animals, that's what they are. Bring back Covid restrictions, please. I can't bear these loud noises and annoying music.
Do you not use headphones?
Yes, I do use them when I watch movies or listen to something. But I was planning to read manga and the music annoyed the hell out of me. Well, managed to read what I wanted in the end thanks to willpower and concentration.
Schizoids are really closer to ghosts than people. What do you do when you don't want friends, a family, a partner, money, status, or achievements.
It's so stressful to have to eat every day. I get stressed out thinking about how I am going to afford the time and money to buy and prepare 3 meals each day that will be somewhat healthy and have enough calories to sustain me on top of doing all my required tasks for the day. I just want to sleep for a week and not have to worry about doing anything.
I want status but not public. Also achievements (capacities) are something that we need rather than we crave, due to the miserable nature of the world.>>262124
Making it bigger, deeper and contagious. Fueling it instead of trying to desperately shoo off.>>262132
Were they so happy these parties wouldn't be full of booze. Walk around there, just listen to how much empty their conversations are… not even animals do lose their time so pathetically. Normies gatherinto idiocy, degeneracy, falsehood, loss, vice and hypocrisy, just due to the shiny aspect of their fatally flawed culture based around delusional values.
Do you want to taste a piece a that joyous cake? Or is it just your mind craving sex through a dissociated link about how sex works and is accessed? Be careful with that filth….
Yeah it is exhausting. I wish I could put on weight but it's just too hard. It's hard to imagine understand how most depressed people get fat.
Eat raw vegetables once or twice a day, things that do not require much cooking. >if you people actually worried about muh warp wanings you'd know how convenient is to eat simpler than that.>>262172
Because they abuse sweets, which the actual building material for human adipocytes inside the body. Or did you think that actual fats are what gets you fat?
Olive oil, avocado, etc… All good polyunsaturated fats. Just because fats contain more cals per gram than carbs does not make them worse.
The real culprit, like you said, is processed sugar. It isn't just 4kcal per gram, it activates a host of biological processes that ensure the impossibility of sustainable fat loss.
Yes, CICO (calories in calories out) eventually reigns supreme, but if you were to cut on a diet consisting of nothing but sweets (say, at a deficit of 1000kcal a day) you would have a completely deformed body void of muscle mass, and still plenty of residual fat everywhere on your body.
You would look grotesque.
Healthy sustainable weightloss therefore isn't just CICO, it's also about ensuring you get a steady stream of proteins, and also healthy fats.
>>262173>Or did you think that actual fats are what gets you fat?
No. I know sugar is the worst and it comes down to total calories. Still, I myself have tried to eat more chocolate, icecream, ordering takeout like burgers etc but I can't put on weight even if I'm actively eating when I dont really feel like it and trying to max calories. I have a balanced diet now, it was just an experiment that I tried and basically gave up on. I dont even enjoy eating a lot of sweets
I'm constantly trying to run away from consciousness. I do really well at study and stuff, but each time I'm left to think too much I get really sad.
I basically drink and game and coom to porn all of my free time.
>>262172>I wish I could put on weight but it's just too hard.
i was told 10 years ago it would become easier "as your metabolism slows down" but literally nothing changed, the only thing that was marginally effective was milkshakes (despite what the other wizs wrote about fats) but i didn't have the discipline to continue drinking them
you're the ideal case to recommend meditation
i've been doing that too. i make a big milkshake about 50% of days
Gaining weight is really easy that means your metabolism is really fast.>>262140
Agree except I want money even though I’m unable to work because of retardation and lack of skills. I just don’t care about the rest really.
Same except I want money
I don't envy partying normals, I just hate the loud noise they make. They bother me and others, they should get a dose of tear gas and pepper spray, if only we lived in some muslim/wahhabi warlock dictatorship where no public fun would be allowed…One can only dream.>>262140
You just chill, relax and enjoy yourself. Possibly focus on enlightenment. >>262185>all of my free time
Learn some self-control, for God's sake. Don't ruin yourself by giving in to your most basic desires. Games are fine but drinking and excessive porn/masturbation will drain your energies.
I have such a hard time actually enjoying Sundays, even though they're some of the only days I can actually say within the comfort of my home, protected from the world outside… because I know it won't last. I spend the entire day feeling this slight discomfort that only grows as the hours pass, a feeling of irreconcilable dread which eats me up until there's nothing left. Afterall, it doesn't matter much that I'm finally able to protect myself from the world outside, from all of its triggers and factors that induce stress… because I know that tomorrow I'll go back to suffering, I'll go back to feeling uncomfortable literally every second I'm alive for a whole week, from the moment I have to wake up earlier than I'd like, only to get out of bed when I'd rather stay, take of my comfortable pijamas and put on some uncomfortable clothes in its place, and then go to a place I seriously can't stand going to, only to feel so many different forms of anxiety and overall discomfort that I feel like I'm going to break… and then I'll get back home, relax for a few hours, which just like Sundays I'll barely enjoy because I'll be feeling nothing but dread from tomorrow, and depression from the day I just survived.
I just feel so inadequate at all times, so anxious, so scared, so ashamed, so depressed… so miserable in every single way… but mostly when I'm outside. I wouldn't exactly be happy if I could just stay home as a NEET forever, I'd still have to deal with a whole new range of fears and insecurities, but at least I'd be physically comfortable, and I wouldn't have to actively expose myself to stress inducing places and situations against my will, I'd be able to wake up and go to bed whenever I please, I wouldn't be actively forced to endure stress and suffering I can't run away from. I know that being a NEET wouldn't work in the long run though, no NEETbux where I'm at and my parents would eventually get sick of me, I don't think I'd be kicked out of my home, but they'd definitely feel nothing but disappointment and resentment, in a way that would turn my own home into the uncomfortable environments I had to endure before anyway, perhaps slightly better, but still inssuferable. I don't know what to do anymore, it seems that every direction I look just feels completely hopeless, I have nowhere to run away to, no possible future where I'm not miserable… so suicide seems like the way to go, at least to me.
Monday is gonna suck, I can't believe I have to do this for 50 or 60 years of my life. I want another fucking lockdown, monkeypox better do its thing.
I got a lots of relatives I don't wanna make sad or pissed off honestly, plus i'm a big pussy and i'm young right now, too scared to off me self.
fair enough, i dont really see myself living beyond 50
I should really go to bed right now… but I really don't want to. I know not sleeping will make tomorrow even worse, since being tired will make it even harder to leave my home and do all tasks which are expected of me through out my day, it'll also make me even more irritable than I already am, but I just can't bring myself to go to my bed in a genuine attempt to fall asleep. I simply adore doing an all nighter, even though it should be the time dedicated for me to get my sleep, to have energy during the day, it's just that… these are the few hours where I feel somewhat free. I don't get any sort of notifications on my phone, no one calls me to charge me money or try to sell me something, no one asks me for favours or demands me to work on something, no one's posting anything on social media or anything like that, there's pretty much no noise outside even though I live in a big city, it feels like this modern world that's always so fast and frenetic, that demands so much all of the time and expects us do get everything done in seconds, this world that has so much noise and so many things going on at literally every second simply… stops, and it's so peaceful, it's genuine bliss.
One more thing that leads to me staying awake is that every hour I spend sleeping feels wasted, because when I'm asleep my consciousness is essentially turned off, from the moment I get to bed I already know that it's a matter of time before I fall asleep, it can take a few minutes or a few hours, but as long as I stay in bed with the lights off I'll fall asleep, except on really bad days, and the moment I fall asleep… my next moment where I'll be aware of space and time will be when I wake up… and I'll have to get out of bed against my will, it'll feel really uncomfortable, especially since I'll know that what awaits me once I leave my home will be even worse and more uncomfortable, in a way I stay awake to try delaying this inevitable misery as much as I can, I don't want the night to go by in the blink of an eye because I don't want the dawn to come, I want to stay between 00:00 and 06:00 as much as possible, because nothing's expected of me then. I suppose my problem isn't with falling asleep… it's with waking up.
Have you considered sleeping and waking up earlier? The world is still asleep in the wee hours of the morning.
>>262243>tomorrow's misery makes sleeping undesirable
Literal reason about why I do not intend at all to be more than a year in my actual job, aside to other motives.>notifications on phone
Just put it in silence mode and piss off, what's happening?>demands
Have you considered to be actually cucked by doing things for others while they do nothing for you?>this world's demands
the more you try to keep it up, the more it takes away from you!
Never stop changing jobs until that sensations disappear. Your problem is just lack of proper survival means.
Because no one teaches us that bullies are to be slapped in public and oneitis is to be openly despised instead of going towards her like a total moth does to a candle.
We lack vigilance, anticipation of evil, which is to be exercised by willing thoughts upon it
Most retro consoles have available emulators and file collections from piracy if you do just research properly
Wizchan's purpose is to aim towards that, regardless of hopes, expectations and the ugliness or despair of whoever else out there.
It's what I've loved to be done with all this time long ago, it's what we all need, since no one but ourselves would help us and understand us against the normdemon world.
Living in this world is suffering as long as you cling to worldly desires. Once you learn to stop caring about these things they won't matter and your suffering will be reduced to a great extent. People suffer the most from their delusions: fear, anxiety, anger, envy, etc. The mental anguish you can cause yourself is greater and more paralyzing than any physical pain you can experience.
Learn to appreciate the good things in your life. You are young, I guess healthy too? I think you have a place to live at and food to eat, clothes to wear too. Many people live in the streets or in 3rd world countries in hell. That "shitty" laptop is good for entertainment too, if you can't play games then watch gameplays like I do, I have a crap laptop too. Watch movies, read books, listen to music. Be grateful for what you have instead of lamenting what you can't have. Nobody deserves anything in this world, everything we have is a present from Fate.
It's not the anxiety or the depression or the loneliness that grinds you down, it's the boredom. Boredom is the worst punishment of man.
I don't want to do anything. Perhaps a tinge of regret to say that but to binge on cigarettes and booze for the rest of my life… I feel I need the drink to soothe the ache of melancholy rooted deep in my heart. To fill the emptiness of a vacated mind, smoke billows through the air as well, though I know of its' calming effect, I do not possess an abundance of these luxuries, for my poor mind can seldom capture respite, and so I will continue on, knowing full on the vagrant's plight, veritably a housed, celibate bum of religion. Knowing fully my lot, I smoke, perhaps with a tinge of regret in awareness….
I don't want to do anything. Perhaps a tinge of spoiled to say that but to binge on cigarettes and booze for the rest of my life… I feel I need the drink to soothe the ache of melancholy rooted deep in my heart to cope. To fill the emptiness of a vacated mind, smoke billows through the air as well, though I know of its' calming effect, I do not possess an abundance of these luxuries, for my poor mind can seldom capture respite for long, and so I continue on, knowing full on the vagrant's plight, veritably a housed, celibate bum in an extended earthbound stasis, mortality endurance mandatory… Knowing fully my lot, I smoke, perhaps with a tinge of regret in awareness, for the brothers i plod and trot, forward unto day…
I feel the same, I got a decent job as a software developer, but I couldn't care less, I already feel how my life is stuck of some kind of void, as if I were just an automation, a robot or something, I honestly can't understand how people can do this for decades, even death seems like a preferable option.
Relatable, I'm an Engineer.
I work on space shit, yet I couldn't give a rat's ass about it. Who cares?
What blows my mind is how other people are completely fine living like this, they just work/eat/sleep and seem happy to do so.
I don't fucking get it
He did what I can’t RIP. I wish I could kill myself peacefull and finally end my misery.
I've never watched this before, why did he do it? What were his illnesses?
Have to leave my parents house and find a place. I got no money. My anxiety is crazy. Living with a random person sounds like hell. I have privacy issues I have been walking around non-stop the last 12 hrs and had a panic attack at the thought of this.
Mind sharing his story?
I’ll upload it when I can get to the file.
He just had a general autism style diagnosis and depression I think. He was 38 and had tried enough that they let him die.
Why? What did I do to you, anon?>>262315
I see. I was curious since I imagined they'd only allow this sort of thing for elderly of people who are terminally ill, with chronic pain, that kind of thing, usually society treats people who are depressed with the attitude that it can always get better and suicide is never the answer, so I'm surprised to see he pulled it off, I'm glad he found peace.
>>262312>Living with a random person sounds like hell
By being a shut in NEET that cleans and looks after himself, you are a better boarder than 80% of normies looking for places.
I don't know about your welfare laws or living situation. But I recommend getting 16-20 hours at a supermarket or wherever so you have a job. NEETs are pretty discriminated against and normies don't like people lounging around the house all day. Once you're in you can revert back to welfare.
The biggest drama from flatting comes from noise and mess. If you keep both down low and keep to yourself, you'll be fine. The other major source is having friends over, but as wizzies we don't have that problem.
The gold standard for a roommate is actually a shut in NEET. They're well liked as they're a steady source of income. YOu'll be fine.
Humblebragging normals who work in a job. If you’re not neet 28+ then don’t talk about depression
Not either of those guys but that's extremely ridiculous. I myself work because I have a need to eat and have a roof over my head. Don't insinuate for a single moment that I'm not depressed over that or anything else, or that I enjoy it in the slightest.
That's some No True Wizard bullshit.
That's ridiculous. Not everyone lives in Eurocuck social welfare states. Living on NEETbux is difficult for a lot of people in the United States unless you have kids or are willing to move to a rural low cost area.
I've known many would-be-NEETs online that are in the states that have to do 30 hours a week somewhere.
Btw, what's with nobody here doing part time? Why does everyone either do full time or NEET? 20-30 hours a week would be better for most people here than 40.
I have a job as a Software Developer and trust me when I say that if I could I would give it for free to anyone here, I hate it, but I can't quit because my parents would kick me out. I'm already planning to quit in a year.
Every day I fantasize with being NEET again, I miss that life so much.
My brain is full of fuck. It's so tiresome. Why can't I have normal interactions with people with normal emotions rather than this ridiculously outsized emotional anguish?
it's literally one small, normal interaction with someone lasting just a few seconds and hours and hours of anguish spread out over weeks, months, maybe even years at random intervals afterwards. Why is my brain like this. Why must I suffer so?
>>262358>what's with nobody here doing part time?
Not really an option where I'm from, literally ALL would-be "part-time" jobs are given to imported workers who are willing to room with 15 other guys and work 12+hrs a day being paid pennies.
The only jobs that'll pay you a livable salary are fulltime
Who said I’m from a Euro country? I have literally 0 welfare and I still use things from 2014. I live in extreme poverty yet I still don’t work. You people are just humblebragging normals and cannot comprehend life of a destitute neet.
How do you do it then? Give me a quick rundown of what I'm doing wrong.
Thank you so much, anon!
i'm sort of similar. whenever i talk to someone it keeps repeating in my head for days or something. theres just something wrong with my braion
>>262403>You people are just humblebragging normals and cannot comprehend life of a destitute neet.
Idiotic discourse. Your need to try to create a Manichean dichotomy over something as simple as this says a lot about you as a person. It's funny how you're trying to build a high status out of being a destitute NEET and how if nobody's like you, they're somehow unworthy or should be seen as 'lesser' here.
Your need to talk down to, exclude and belittle others for not fitting your perfect little frame of reference and not doing as you do is very reflective of superficial normalfag traits, no matter how run down you are. That you think having a job is something to brag about for someone who posts here in earnest, and not something people do out of necessity, makes me think you're either extremely bitter, narrow-minded or you simply don't understand because you have zero empathy and are entirely unwilling to understand the position. Either way, it's stupid to assume that people are working just so they can come to Wizchan and brag about it.
For me, my job is nothing more than another thing that makes me even more dependent on a system that loathes my guts and forces me to interact with people that I fucking hate. I'm not bragging about the money or not being destitute, fuck the money. I'm not bragging about any of it. I put up with this awful shit to survive, and knowing even that puts more stock in my depression, which you have the gall to say that even people in my shoes can't talk about depression just because I have a job and am not wholly destitute? Damn, the need to be on top of the hierarchy extends even here.
I don't think NEETs would not have understanding for someone who does a bare minimum tier job to not be homeless. But most of the humble braggers here are white collar professionals with careers. Someone who manages to graduate university and successfully compete for a highly paid position is objectively very functional, more so than most people.
>>262441>Fuck the money
Lies. Just accept you’re a ordinary normal. If you can manage to work especially as a sofware engineer that means you’re not anormal schizoid true wizard.
Wow, all this text to say nothing at all, world record right there bud.
You sound like an earnest to god schizophrenic. The bad kind, not the cool schizos.
Getting a degree and a good job is as far from me as the sloan wall.
theres so much fucking noise outside when its sunny it does my head in, just dogs constantly yapping, kids screaming, then some normalfags talking loudly in a language i cant understand which makes it even more grating to the ears
i dont have the energy to do much in the day. doing too much overwhelms me. never going to be like a normal guy who can do a bunch of shit without being overwhelmed
Kind of scary to know I'm 1 year from being 30 and I'm still basically a child. I wonder how other hikkis feel at this age. Knowing you are too far gone and there's no one to take care of you past a certain point
>>262492>Knowing you are too far gone and there's no one to take care of you past a certain point
Old age terrifies me. As you go through your thirties the contempt of the public sets in and people stop making allowances for you. Plus your health starts to fade.
>>262494>Old age terrifies me. As you go through your thirties the contempt of the public sets in and people stop making allowances for you. Plus your health starts to fade.
I'm in my late 20s and my health is already failing me. Bad dental health, my mind sometimes goes, sleep is so hard to actually get and when I do get it it's not enough or on time, or I sleep too much and it's like I didn't sleep at all, I fucking hate growing older. Injuries last longer, it's harder to bounce back from something as simple as a pulled muscle. I'm tired all the time, me focusing is impossible. I long since gave up trying to be an 'adult', since even that's hanging on by a thread at this point. My anxiety spiked when you said 'contempt of the public'.
What frightens me the most is that I might genuinely be alive like this, for a very, very long time, even though I have my 'way out'.
>My mom: Want to bring me your plates?
i want to get away from everything
>>262494>As you go through your thirties the contempt of the public sets in and people stop making allowances for you
Turning 31 in a few months. No more "oh, he's just finding himself" assumptions. People start seeing you for the maladjusted wiredo you are.
I’m only 27 but people already completely lose sympathy when I say my age, I still larp as a early-20something because of my looks but I am so scared of what will happen when I can’t hang on to this last thread
You wanna live in a cabin far away from society?
I ruined my life by doing drugs as a teen, by not taking medication and by admitting myself into a psychward by pressure of my bpd sister and psychologist. My life is irreverbly ruined.
Not him but yes definitely.
Are there any meds or drugs that would make me calmer? I think my biggest problem is that I'm always nervous/neurotic especially around people and I make dumb mistakes or cause awkward situations because of that.
I'm taking spirulina and will try ashwagandha. They are natural and good for your health.
Does this actually help? I'm thinking of buying both of them from amazon, what capsules should I get?
Those are nootropics and supplements,they don't do shit, try some real drugs that actually work.
You couldn't just keep yourself chasing a job which gives you more time even if you earn less. >>262586>nervous/neurotic
Overcome your fears by making them true, and enjoy them, backlash the mindframe so it be others whom feel this anxiety. This was just my eventual way of overcoming similar situations, so you'd know better.
You might pay hard for this. Death might delay its arrival for so to happen.
Do any of you fantasize about dying and getting the chance to redo your life with all of the memories you have now? For the past year and a half, all I have done is live in this fantasy were everything could turn out okay and I could live a happy live. One out of every three dreams that I have is me waking up with a sure feeling that I'm in the past and it's torture to wake up and realize it waas just a dream.
I used to fantasize about the same thing… until I realized that I'd probably just mess my life up again even with all of my knowledge about how it'd go, I'm truly a lost cause without hope.>>262185
I do the same, except that I don't do well with my studies at all, any of my responsibilities/obligations really, and I suffer a lot when it catches up to me, which just makes me rely on those coping mechanisms even more…
No. Once in this body is enough for me, thanks. I do sometimes think about what if reincarnation is real, who would I be in the next life? Would it be better or worse? But this is just a silly thing, I don't think reincarnation is real
I am beyond tired of society. I've started saving for a down payment on a home in the countryside. I desperately want to just live like Uncle Ted did minus the bombing. All I want is to just be left alone, I've been rejected from every society I even tried to be passively apart of. I'd like to get a trailer in the country on a couple acres of land. For those who don't believe me, I'll post it in other depression threads when I do achieve it. Thanks for reading my blog.
At least you have someone who still cares enough to help you.
I always end up reading or seeing something that annoys and disgusts me, practically every other page I open presents more hostile and contemptuous garbage - it's like swathing through a sea of twisted shit except it's all carefully constructed insidious hateful bile spewed by cretinous neanderthal tier "people". Fuck off.
Depression is a bitch. Do the opposite of what you did. Ask your mom to come so you force yourself to clean your room and get a win against depression.
Sounds good. Hope you manage to get it.
Are you in New Zealand.
I'd love to do the same with a wizzie. I need some socialization so I don't wanna live completely alone.
4:40AM where I live right now, probably more after I'm done writing this post, and a few more hours before the sun rises… before I have to leave my safe and comfortable home against my will once more. I despise how quickly the weekends go by, it doesn't even begin to compare to how much the week itself drags on. I spent the whole night awake again, because while I didn't want to stay awake, I didn't want to go to sleep either, since the night would've gone by in the blink of an eye and my next moment of consciousness would be having to wake up and get out of bed in the cold when I'd rather stay. I know I'll suffer today no matter what, I'll suffer every single day until the weekend, so to me staying awake is a mechanism to delay the inevitable, and doing my best to cope, in today's case I spent the night playing video games, my family keeps the PS4 in the living room and I rarely get a chance to play it since they're in the living room using the TV often, so these nights before dawn are some of the few moments I get to play a few things.
I'd say that my night wasn't half bad, in these rare moments when everyone else is asleep, everything's dark, there's nothing but silence inside my home and in the usually busy outside world too, and I can just focus on trying to do things which bring me some sort of joy without thinking about obligations and failure… I actually feel fine, I almost forget why I want to kill myself so badly, for a second it's like I'm almost reconsidering… and then the week starts and I remember exactly why the decision to leave is the correct one. I'll be forced to leave my home today at about 6:30AM and I'll probably be back by 6:30PM which feels like a sick joke, but it's just reality, it's either enduring this suffering or enduring the consequences of avoiding it or giving up on it, which will lead to suffering anyway, it's a matter of picking your poison, that's all that life is. Now I'm feeling my throat getting sore suddently, out of nowhere, and it's this constant physical discomfort, as if my mental discomfort wasn't enough. I despise my body so much.
I don't like that I get lonely and desire to interact with people, because people are terrible. If I interact with people or if I don't it's a lose/lose. What does this even mean brain. What do you want from me.
Sunday night dread is real. I used to get it before school, now I dread the coming work week and all the bullshit I'll be forced to endure for a mediocre existence. You can't blame yourself for wanting to pinch out a couple more hours of peace, but the sleep deprivation and exhaustion makes it even worse.
i think im mentally prepared to try killing myself. i sunk and buried myself in the sand. dismantled myself, piece by piece. all thats left is to fall asleep forever. im just waiting to be alone at home so i can do it.
i dont know, i dont want to die. i wish i could live my life. im very lucky, i think i have a soul. i think if God exists, She must love me a lot because She made me like this. im very very lucky. but i think i failed my purpose and theres nothing i can do anymore.
when i was born my parents moved my pieces for me, and they never let me play for myself, so by the time i came to it i was already checkmated. i hope youll never have to feel like this, waking up one day and realizing you werent being yourself for most of your life, or waking up one day and realizing you havent had a childhood, you havent had a chance to grow up like everyone else did. i hope youll never feel like you have been left out of your own life, and that you had the world slip through your fingers.
i dont know what happens after death. i wish i could exist somewhere. i think i have an essence and i wish it wouldnt be destroyed with with my physical body. i wish i could wake up somewhere with all the books ever written, and computers and electronics, and canvases and art supplies, and records and musical instruments. or wake up in another world where i can be useful and lift others. i hope i can wake up somewhere where i can be myself after i die. i dont know, i think i have a soul and i think maybe it wont die, but everyone says death is really the end and theres nothing like meaning or purpose in this world so im scared.
i dont know what will happen if i cant kill myself. if i cant hang successfully hang myself i think ill have to keep existing and remembering everything that could have been for some more years. it would be funny if i couldnt kill myself and were forced to live and things started getting better and i crawled out of this limbo and got close to where i think i should be even after i already gave up. i think i would prove i have a will then.
but i hope ill just die.
I would investigate about legal issues in the past relates with that exact medicine…
what do you mean?
Im ESL and on top of that, your sentence is poorly worded.
9 hours is healthy, whats the problem?
to me it sounds like youre the sort of person that should just be honest with the doctors
Smiling and saying hello to a cashier who responds back positively is more positive social interaction than the internet can provide in months. I don’t mind IRL small talk anymore, as I get older people are a nicer it seems. I guess middle aged people are nicer to each other.
>"Disabled" moids should be put into work camps if not outright killed. Just read about this scrote who thinks everyone needs to know how his synesthesia makes him not date people with certain names. Imagine being so self-centered while having such a nothingburger issue. How do moids even survive the day being so fragile?
I really should stop looking at foid forums.
The thirst for social interaction should be considered a trace of disease from normalcattle mindset. It's such a senseless, crappy, clingy disfunction
I'm running out of my medication and my doctor dropped me. My parents told me it's my problem now.
It's the little things, you know?
Shows that we aren't really special and no one actually gives a shit in this world lol. I missed a couple of appointments because I kept getting worse and when I come back I have had tons of fee to pay. Then my job insurance has a thing called "teladoc" that helped me find a new doc to give me pills on our first meeting. Try it out if you have it.
I cannot save myself and worse, I cannot save the people I love.
There’s people you love?
I can't wear headphones anymore due to compression headaches.
It just hurts wearing headphones.
I rotate multiple headphones because of this issue.
I do not feel sympathy for poor people.
They're too stupid to function and it brings me joy knowing that they suffer from their own actions.
Hating on the poor is easy and if the suffering of the poor and ignorant bring you joy, then you're just as ignorant and miserable in your soul.
Not my fault i'm too stupid enough to get a degree or certification. Nothing motivates and it's so hard to find a high paying without with them.
fuck off normalshit
You won't fucking believe how much education standards have dropped wizzie. Higher education now is nothing like it was even ten years ago.
Just tie the bag up when you put something smelly in. better yet, tie it up and then put in one of those closable garbage bins.
Damn, she doesn't like smelly garbage? Clearly she is an escaped mental patient.
I've never heard of people complaining about a smelly garbage up until this point in my life.
Containers that contained food also don't stink.
Nice gaslight though, troll retard.
You guys are trying to validate and give credence to a succubi over a fellow wizard?
That's like, normie as hell. If you've ever interacted with these creatures in real life, you would know not to even take into consideration a succubi's thoughts, opinions or feelings.
You guys have to be trolls.
I had a seized caliper on one of my brakes. Being a poorfag, I could not afford the price the mechanics quoted me so I decided to replace it myself. After many issues I finally succeeded, but I don't even feel a bit of pride or satisfaction, only anxiety that I probably fucked something up. In fact I know I fucked something up because the new washers seemed too big so I used the old ones which everyone says not to do. The brake bleed also didn't seem to work how it was supposed to. I may have saved some money but now every time I drive my car I am just going to have to suffer the anxiety that now, because of my incompetence, my brakes could fail at any point. God this is balls.
Nearly had a car crash with the person in front of me who was hesitating and braking joining the road. From what happened I don’t know where they even went, they could have crashed because I don’t think there was road for them to go on to. I don’t like driving. I don’t want to watch the dashcam footage to see it.
i think my sedentary lifestyle is finally catching up to me at 25, my knees ache when i get up out my chair
only relation might be that i tried doing some pushups the other week without doing a warmup meme (could barely manage one) and my legs are still sore
I'm being realistic. If you're a wizard you stay out of sight and out of mind because normalfags will ruin your life if you piss them off.
No I still feel emotions; jealousy, regret, anger, but I certainly don't care that I'm NEETing myself into a custom curated hellscape.
I just play vidya all day, it's cool.
My emotions include boredom, anger, and feelings of helplessness.
It's been about two or three weeks with no progress on my goals. I've been getting up late too. I just woke up at 9PM. I'm going to try getting out of this rut. I have periods of downs with small periods of highs in regards to getting stuff done. I find it hard to do things I don't want or like to do, but must do. If I get my stuff done and things improve, I'll respond to this comment.
Wow, we gotta guy over here who hasn't given up completely on life. you must be young
I’m amazed it’s been five years already. They passed like nothing.
No; he was living the high life before and fucked it up of his own accord.
I've just started doing basic auto repair too and I feel the same way. What kind of car was it?
I'm in the US, but there isn't a whole lot tying me down to this country apart from my job. I wouldn't mind having a drinking buddy around, but I would want to know you more first.
Didn’t he married while in jail? A man whos dead inside will never could be married. He’s just an ordinary normal.
I'm almost 27, so not too young. I just keep going since I have a good support system.
By removing the capacity to have problems. With a shotgun.
It's funny how much resentment I receive from my relatives for not being normal. I think I would genuinely get more respect if I were a meth head with a baby momma and $50,000 in debt.
It's currently 2:59AM and the store opens at 8AM.
And i'm just sitting here waiting and thinking about getting drunk.
ME wants whisky!
Don't ever fucking drink whisky without icecubes btw.>>263372
I'm for one making an effort to avoid surviving past 75.
I'm on the piss and shit diet and i tell ya, its been working wonders, i might just drop at 65.
>>263374>Don't ever fucking drink whisky without icecubes btw.
I drink it warm and even mix it in my coffee
How do I cope with being ignored?
Madness man, you need a tongue replacment.
Luke warm whisky is yuckie enough to make me feel nauseous.
Why? I don't have any reason to think that he is dead inside, he is rich and he did that to himself by trying to take advantage of sick people. I don't care at all.
Kinda, not really.
From what I understand he was scapegoated like Bernie Madoff, no-one's denying that he's a fraudster but they pinned the problems of the entire industry on him.
No and I hope he gets sent back to prison.
He had a lot of stories of different drugs he would develop but internally his communications were about making huge profits and analysis of how high they could raise the price without a backlash - not forseeing the media frenzy. The talk about R&D and accessibility were suggested by PR companies to rebrand his company, and elligibility criteria for free pills meant a lot of people inelligible paid higher copays to their insurance.
The media and politicians may have been tards obsessing about him, but he was a liar - just a funny internet meme man liar.
By overcoming your defensive notion of the problem not being solvable in the first place.
Also, you need to live, laugh, love. Very important
It takes a certain kind of fucked up mind to put all the effort in and not only fail, but get worse. To look like I’ve never tried despite spending years and years doing so. Suicide is such a great answer to a prison of a retarded mind.
I am mocking you, yes
>>263415>coping this hard
Some problems are indeeded unsolsable.
How do i for example remove zog?
i want to say something but i dont know what.
i dont know. i started feeling smell. i can smell things now. i think it must be because i stopped taking meds i took since i was 2 or so. ive realized many things have an odor. before i couldnt smell anything unless it had a very strong odor and i held it very close to my nose. and my eyes hurt because i cry so much.
i was the happiest person in the world. i experienced a type of happiness no one else ever experienced. im very lucky to be like this. i feel like God loves me a lot.
i have to kill myself because everything went wrong but im scared of dying. i dont want the magic to end. i never lived my life. i dont know.
i want another chance. please God, please God, i beg you, i implore you, let me try again. please let me be myself. i want to go to school and show everyone what i can do, i want to get a lot of prizes and such so i can go to a nice university, so people will read what i will write, and then i will write hundreds, thousands of papers. i want to be useful, i want to help, i want to be forever useful.i want to make and do things for others. i have an intuition for what needs to be done and where we should go, im good at getting things done. most of all i want to make everyone happy, i want to make everyone happy forever. i feel like theres a fountain of life inside me and i wish i could give forever. if i cant be useful then at least i wish i were free, so i could make my own world, and my own creatures, give them souls, and make them happy.
i dont know. the more time i spend thinking about it, the more i think death isnt the end. i know that, rationally, ill just die and my corpse will rot like everyone elses, but when i ask my intuition, the same intuition that makes me good at many things, it says maybe god will grant me my wish. i existed, im real, what is inside me is real, and it has a purpose, so i dont think it will end. i dont know. i dont know. im not sure how to say it. i wanted to fulfill my purpose, and do everything i can, i dont know. im very scared. please God, please dont let this end.please let me try again. i like imagining how my life could have been different, everything i could have done, my imagination is very good so my mind almost mistakes my detailed fantasies for reality, it feels real. i have to put a lot of effort into imagining because i know that after i die i probably will never experience these things again.
i dont know, im scared, im scared, i dont want to die, i want to try again, i want to be myself, i want to care. i want to show you what im really like. and give you everything you could ever ask for, and then more.i dont know. if theres nothing after death, if i wont have another chance, if i will just cease existing, why was i born in the first place? i dont know, its like ive never existed, but i did. im real. and i can do some stuff.
i dont know, none of this text makes any sense, but i couldnt show what i am with actions, so i have to try words,even knowing theyre meaningless. i dont know, i had to shout one last time.i can never properly word what i mean, but at least i can mumble and moan. i dont know, sorry. sorry.i wish i could try again, i wish were myself, i hope i can be myself after this body dies, thats all, sorry. sorry.
Woke up this morning at 8am, meessed around on my phone for a bit. Tuurned my fan off because I felt cold and then accidentally fell back asleep for a hour. Had one of those dreams where you wake up multiple times then woke up feeling like absolute dogshi, delirius and splitting headache which has lasted the entire day. I dont know if I overheated in my sleep or what the fuck happened. Goddamn shitty health.
My advice to you two is to do everything you can to get a remote-only job. I was in the same boat, suicidal on a daily, couldn't enjoy Sundays and eventually couldn't even enjoy Saturdays because of the dread of returning to the shitty subhuman-infested office on Monday. Getting a remote-only job is the one thing that has made my life bearable. There was just no way I could've endured a traditional job for years on end let alone decades.
Can you explain what went wrong in your life?
How to OD on heroin:
All you have to do is order it off a darknet market (Dread has discussion on good vendors and marketplaces). Get a syringe needle, distilled water, a cigarette filter, a spoon and a lighter.
Since it's your first time, OD'ing on heroin is quite easy, as the heroin and synthetic "heroin" (fentanyl) you find on the marketplaces is quite pure and resemble white powder (if it isn't white powder and it looks brown, is tar or is solid, then the purity is usually lower and you might need an acid to dissolve it in water). Put distilled water onto the spoon, then add your heroin. Heat up and stir the mixture until the heroin is fully dissolved in the distilled water.
Next you put the disassembled (the part of the filter that looks like white cotton) cigarette filter in the middle of the spoon, then you fill up the syringe by placing the needle in the middle of the filter and sucking up all of the mixture. Next you make sure there isn't any air in the syringe by slightly squirting some of the heroin out.
What you do next is apply a tourniquet around your upper arm to make your veins bulge out. Once you find a suitable vein, insert the needle carefully until you think it's fully inside of a vein. To make sure it's in a vein, you can pull on the syringe plunger (blood usually shoots into the syringe even if you don't pull on the plunder) to withdraw some blood from your vein. If there's no blood, that means you're not in a vein.
So that's how you successfully shoot up heroin and possibly OD if you choose. People have described OD'ing on heroin as one of their most pleasurable moments of their life up until they're unconscious. They describe losing consciousness as "going to sleep", just like you would go to sleep at night, but in one last euphoric haze.
The only way to survive an OD is if someone finds you and administers you narcan. Death can occur as little as 5 minutes after injecting.
Can't concentrate on anything. Want to do lots of stuff but it's like when i'm not doing literally nothing my brain is screaming at me to stop doing what i'm doing and do nothing and everything feels like a massive chore.
When I was staying at my wiz cousins house he was extremely into drugs and basically ODed on two different drugs two days in a row. The first day I stayed there he took some kind of benzos that sedated him so much that I couldn't wake him up. It was like he was in a coma. I almost called an ambulance but ended up leaving it because he seemed to be breathing fine and his wiz heart was beating fine.
Day two was when shit got real. I watched him shoot up heroin. Obviously this is something that most wizards are never going to see someone do. But there I was watching my cousin shoot up. IDK how it went down but I remember thinking it was really dirty. Anyway, for the first maybe 10 or so minutes everything seemed fine. He was 'nodding' HARD. It looked like he was cumming or something. He was standing there just kind of hunched over high as fuck as this opiate hit him hard. Unresponsive at this point.
Well, soon enough he had collapsed in the bathroom. He was in a really fucking weird position and didn't seem to be breathing at this point. So I called an ambulance for him and they arrived almost straight away. It turns out they were based virtually down the street so my junkie cousin got the opiate blocker injected and was fine.
The paramedics were like both hot stacies? Quite interesting. Keep in mind this is Australia where most people look and act like turbo Chads and Stacies, kek. Well, whatever, I saved that cousins life just because my visit coincided with his drug use. Without a doubt he would have died if I wasn't there because his heroin was actually fentanyl.
I wanted to post this wiz story because based on my observations I think ODing on heroin would be utter bliss. I saw no pain in this wiz cousin. Quite the opposite. Complete bliss followed by unconsciousness and a depression in breathing. You won't be awake to experience breathlessness. I imagine it will be intense though. Being hit that hard by an opiate rush. Might want to do a small recreational amount first so you at least know what to expect.
I never believed any of it. After five minutes of listening to him speak and you can tell he's a greasy sociopath.
>Search for jobs
>Filter for "entry level"
>Every job description says 3-5 years experience required
I guess the only way to get a job without experience is to have connections
i feel like im not really a human anymore, there is nothing to me, i dont have a personality, i dont do anything all day, i just observe everything around me and sit on a chair staring at this box while sitting inside a box, i think i am just an entity that is alive and nothing else of meaning, what a boring a wasted existence, even if i was suddenly normal what is there out there anyway? you get to see a cool mountain? have friends? go to a party? i just don't find any meaning in those things, they are all so horribly boring why were we placed in such a boring and meaningless existence, no magic no powers nothing to do, you can go kill people with guns but who cares its just metal flying really fast, everything is so boring and meaningless.
Life is what you make of it, bro. You can choose to rot away as some animal who browses imageboards all day and masturbates or you can live like a rational human being who studies, learns, thinks and enjoys his life.
Step One involves making an effort and taking control of your life. Don't do what you want to do, force yourself to do other things. Asceticism works.
My family has a lot of money from neetbux but if I try to talk about a budget my dad just starts screaming and shouting, making incoherent points Delusional wasting thousands of dollars on shit he breaks from being clumsy disabled and acts like a child. I mean he gets the neetbux for being a tard but it’s frustrating.
Not exactly bad advice but you can be less condescending and generic next time. There are lots of animal tier neanderthal "people" outside that are fully engaged with life yet not particularly rational and don't really think. Asceticism taken seriously would be silly - quitting cold turkey things you enjoy is going to backfire horribly. Some good advice I heard before is that you can't sit around waiting to feel good before you do things, you generally need to do things first, and then you might feel good after. It's heavily rng thus life is not "what you make it brah" (it's more you can attempt to steer life in a certain direction and then things may or may not happen) but that's all you can really do if you want to change your situation.>>264087
If you were suddenly normal your whole field of reference and perception of reality would shift into something that would see climbing mountains and partying as things worth pursuing, whereas we're disconnected from all that because our lives are just staring at screens all day. This is good and bad, kind of like you found a secret level in a game, you get to experience life differently (turns out it's a shitty level and much harder) and you don't get a walk-through or a prima guide like everyone else, but you can still have fun and get a cool item at the end of it. You can try to make peace with the fact this is your designated rng lot in life or go try things and see what happens. I agree reality is fucking boring, but there's nothing you can do but struggle on and try to make things less shitty.
It's not that you don't have a personality (that doesn't really make sense though I used to think the same about myself) it's that you don't have any developed interests or hobbies, and as normalfags grew up with support networks, peer groups and parents encouraging them, they do, as well as having the self-esteem to back it up and appear interesting (whether they are or not is a different matter). Again like a secret level, you're going to have to figure it out yourself; is there anything that interests you, a skill you might want to learn? Don't fall into the normalfag trap of thinking it has to be some lofty high status acceptable thing like art or a sport, as long as it engages you and you care about it it's worth doing. It's not easy and even trying the thing let alone figuring out if it's something you actually care about (it should be or there's no point doing it - forcing yourself to do things you don't want to do is unlikely to change your perception of thing in question). I know it seems completely pointless because my life sucks and and I should kill myself but just finding some hobby you can mess around with for 10 minutes every other day might make life seem less boring (though life IS still boring, that's the default state of a humanbean). I started to do some drawing and I feel better for it even though I get angry and despondent half the time.
This post no longer fits the thread and it's a mess, sorry for appearing preachy or hostile and condescending, it wasn't meant to be, tomorrow I'll just resume venting instead of offering advice I don't even follow myself, but maybe it'll make you or a wiz slightly less /dep/.
I have General Anxiety Disorder and I have no idea how to treat it. I've been on 3 SSRIs now. Anyone have any advice
i do too and im not taking any medication right now, just smoking weed sometimes. exposure therapy and not givinga fuck is what helped me.
There's nothing to expose myself to, I just feel it randomly.
>>264129>There are lots of animal tier neanderthal "people" outside that are fully engaged with life yet not particularly rational and don't really think
I didn't advocate for being fully engaged with life, tho. There is a difference between an organized and disciplined NEET life and a NEET life that is about masturbation and chanposting only.>Asceticism taken seriously would be silly - quitting cold turkey things you enjoy is going to backfire horribly.
Making priorities is a good start. You'd most likely just want to lie around and masturbate all day but change that, only do that after you read a book or watched something (not porn) you wanted to. That is asceticism. You need to control yourself and need to have some kind of schedule and plans.>Some good advice I heard before is that you can't sit around waiting to feel good before you do things, you generally need to do things first, and then you might feel good after.
This is the only way to beat anhedonia and depression, I speak from experience. You just gotta do what you don't enjoy at first. You will enjoy it as you do it more if you are interested in the thing.
I also beg to differ that life is boring. If you discover what you are meant to do then it is anything but boring because you will always wait for a chance to engage in your hobby asap.
>>264145>I didn't advocate for being fully engaged with life, tho. There is a difference between an organized and disciplined NEET life and a NEET life that is about masturbation and chanposting only.
I agree but you made it sound like a complete bifurcation; you can either be a dirty NEET who masturbates or a pull up yer bootstraps go-getter who spins twenty plates at once.
Asceticism means to abstain from most pleasurable activities though, and the way you were writing made it sound like you wanted him to stop masturbating or browsing imageboards completely, my bad if I took it wrong but that's how it came across and I do see a lot of people spouting similar dumb shit here very often. Also I wouldn't say doing something strenuous before you do something you enjoy is necessarily asceticism; it's just having basic priorities, which is hard when you've been happily NEETing but still.
>I also beg to differ that life is boring. If you discover what you are meant to do then it is anything but boring because you will always wait for a chance to engage in your hobby asap.
I can appreciate that but it assumes most people find the thing they were meant to do and I'd wager they don't, you can't pick and choose what you find engaging and there's so many things you might never get a chance at because it's so outside your realm of possibilities - there's too many variables.
>>264123>Life is what you make of it, bro.
I love this philosophy because it means I never have to feel pity for anyone. I can walk past the homeless bums, the paraplegics, and the mentally invalid and hold my head up high. They all deserved it!
dont worry wiz the post did help slightly you're pretty much right i just need to find something that is interesting to me, i appreciate you taking the time to write all that out, thank you wiz
Asceticism, to me, means abstaining from sensory pleasures such as eating, drinking, sleeping, masturbating, etc. Could be I'm wrong here but I don't consider reading a book to be hedonism as it doesn't give you instant dopamine highs for little to no effort but requires you to concentrate and such first. But anyway, asceticism is always done in order to achieve more good feelings. It is a paradox but you have to restrain yourself and be moderate in order to derive the biggest joys from life.
I think if you are a NEET wiz already then chances are you will find your hobby in something solitary like reading, writing, watching anime, drawing, etc. In fact I think we became wizards because we had some things we liked way too much and ignored social stuff for the sake of said thing.>>264157>>264158
No, I can walk past unfortunate people and never feel pity for them because I'm not a pretentious moralist like you. I'm honest with myself, I'm an egoist and I don't care about others except for those who directly contribute to my well-being. You are an egoist too but feel the need to conceal it behind fake empathy and morals. Or you actively help every homeless person or cripple you come across? You invite them to your home and give them food and a place to sleep? No? Thought so.
I hate hypocrisy so much. Why do some people feel the need to pretend that they care about others? Nobody cares about anyone in this world except for themselves. Do you need to delude yourself this much to believe you are superior to others?
Nigger i would've help the homeless and cripples if i had money, but since i'm unfit to have a job and keep because i'm physically deformed and mentally disabled, speak for yourself you egoist twat.
My family should never have existed
Oh, so upset because I revealed you for what you are: an egoist, not different from others. Stop with this holier than thou act already. Nobody past 18 buys this.>i-im disabled I swear
Apparently not so much because you can form coherent sentences. You would just rather be a NEET than go out and help others according to what you preach? Nothing wrong with being a lazy a NEET, I'm one myself but don't make excuses.
Good for you, then. Continue being a cuck and live to serve others. You deserve to be exploited and to be taken advantage of.>lowering me to your level>doesnt mean im half as fucked up as you are
Ouch, looks like I struck a nerve and I was spot-on.
Other people pollute your mind with language which doesn’t apply to your reality. Completely alone. Suicide is the only answer.
Suicide is never the answer. Especially if you don't have the courage to do it, like most people here.
mocking someone for being a poorfag is not a rule 4 violation and, if rule 5 is such an important rule to uphold, then you would be deleting a lot more posts on this heap of shit website. i can safely assume the faggot who has been posting in this same manner for months is an easily bruised peach of a mod. your life is fucking pathetic and your death would be a net positive on anyone that has to deal with you irl.
mods are coping, seething and dilating very hard rn.
read rule 4 for me again, champ. nothing is stated about shielding poorfags and you arent too bright if you think all NEETs are broke. i have never posted anything anti-NEET. they only enforce rules when the clique gets offended, so i am not your boogeyman and your attempt to correlate doesnt match up with the actual situation. the problem has always been selective enforcement. the tards running the site are too emotional to properly moderate.
I accept your correction completely and welcome you sharing your knowledge of the actual situation with wizchan
The problem is that wizards who are successful at suicide no longer post here, so this is true by default. Not very insightful.
What you fantasize about, I dare to do it. That is it. Most people are assholes in cowardly ways only because they are afraid of punishment of some kind. Me? I don't care. Whatever I can get away with.
You aren't better or healthier than me, only more timid, cowardly, passive.
>>264257>implying most people are moral or good, including yourself>implying living out natural urges is something "edgy"
Pfh. Nowadays everyone is so indoctrinated into liberal humanism, it is sickening…
>>264271> but there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
I know, death can't come soon enough.
it's very telling that a dumbass who chronically denigrates depressed and suicidal people (on the DEPRESSION board no less!) doesnt cop a ban for rule 5 but i cop both a rule 4 and 5 for calling him a broke nigger lol (which doesnt even violate rule 4 btw). even the post i had replied to is an obvious rule 5 violation. did you think this was subtle by any stretch of the imagination? delete it but it's gonna be posted whether you want it to be or not. eat shit.
Even if taking meds fix whatever conditions I have and I get to be a functional person, what even is there to look forward to? Work? Am I going to take performance enhancing drugs just so I can take calls and fill in excel sheets without wanting to kill everyone? This is fucking bullshit.
Why would you need others to tell you what to do with your life, what are you some kind of slave?
Take an English reading comprehension class Pablo.
>>264298>bwahhh what's there to look forward to, even if I become a normalfag I wouldn't know what do to do
Pathetic failed normalfag.
Not only did you interpret my post incorrectly, you are also seething and raging at an imaginary point that you think I make lol. You're even further gone than me. I'd kill myself if I were you.
>>264300>you're seething and raging
Sure thing, failednormalfag. Keep us updated with your "problems".> I'd kill myself if I were you
And miss having this much fun reading posts from completely lost failed normalfags such as yourself, there's no fun in that.
heads or tails: for whom will rule 5 be invoked upon today?
whom'st'ever has spent the longest in the vc or mmo game
why would the discord fags ban themselves?
so they dont idle too much in-game
but then they will just idle by smoking weed and having gay cyber sex on the wizcord server
This is definitely an organic post.
What does organic mean in this context?
Posted in earnest
God my boss pressured me to keep doing the site with sob stories about how they can't find anyone else and what have you. In a shitty depressed weak mood I rolled over and said yes, I'll keep doing it.
But what will happen tomorrow is that I'll quit, I'll text him telling him never to contact me again, we'll never see each other and that I'm done, and that I just want to be left alone. And I'll block his number and never hear from him again.
Fucking every company does this. They give me the piece of shit sites that nobody will do, try and guilt trip me when I want normal sites like everyone else and then get left bagholding entirely when I fully quit.
So my one and only internet friend finally cut me off for good and now I'm completely alone and realize just how miserable a feeling it is after years of at least having at least one person to talk to, share feelings with and play games. It at least made me feel wanted in some way. Unfortunately being a schizo, and him as well, it became too much and eventually he made the call he'd rather be without me. And all I can do is blame myself and feel regret for somehow pushing someone away because I'm incapable of doing anything right. The only brightside I can see is having more time for myself and avoiding the drama that comes with friendship. Maybe friends aren't worth it if it just comes crumbling down around you in the end.
I'm really sorry anon.
I have a schizophrenic friend and he's fun to talk to. Hearing the weird delusions and paranoia is actually entertaining…
Do people really get this attached to randos on discord?
some people dont interact with humans in real life so the internet is the only connection to anyone they've ever had
it has been a few weeks now where the only thought in my head is wanting to kill myself. i really dislike being alive, in my body on this earth, society and 'participation' in general. feels like the last of the lies i tell myself are finally swirling down the drain. to say i feel empty strikes me as inaccurate and cliche, i feel totally blank. empty implies an ability to be full, i feel nothing
I have no family. I have no one.
It's just me in this strange and foreign city, with nobody to love me, to care for me or to look after me. I am truly alone.
My roommate is the only one in my life, but I hide out in my room to try to avoid her because I have social anxiety.
This is my life.
At least you're somewhat lucky to have a forest close by, I can't drive and there's no secluded green spaces within walking distance, just shitty public parks, though there is a duck pond but it's right next to a busy road with cameras everywhere. It spoils it, though I did once have a nice visit when it was raining and nobody was around, rain automatically makes every walk more enjoyable, fits my permanent melancholia and getting soaking wet is novel because it makes me feel something.
I quit, I sent a text saying "I'm finishing up, please never contact me again, my work gear will be dropped off".
They could've just not pressured me to work that site and accepted me giving it up. Oh well, I just won't work again until the mask shit is over.
I think schizoids achieve more, but keep them to themselves.
Schizoids just don't feel comfortable seeking approval. It's not a bad thing, but the lack of social skills means that they just end up living a meek and unsuccessful life because of the lack of recognition for any skills or talents.
Wtf do I know, I'm just a drunk dude posting on an imageboard. I'm probably wrong.
>>264358>I've always liked this picture a lot, I identify so much with her, imagine what kind of horrible life she must have in order to be this happy about dying in such a gruesome way, she doesn't know what happens after death, yet she knows that it MUST be something better than dealing with this shit life
She could've been my wife and I would've tried my best to make her life happy even though I'm a bland and socially awkward person. Succubi don't want me so such thoughts are pointless I suppose.
>>264363>She could've been my wife and I would've tried my best to make her life happy
fucking normalfag cuck slave mentality on wizchan again…
let the man fantasize faggot
No fun allowed faggot, spare your fucking buzzwords and ass-hurt to yourself.
for a second i thought you were talking about the simpson image since it's a reference to how sylvia plath killed herself. was kind of chuckling at the thought of a wizzie killing himself in an oven.
crab fantasies of failed normalfags are not welcome
I used to cope thinking I look younger than my age but in reality I'm just low t and I look like an average low t 25 year old. It feels like just yesterday I turned 18 and now I'm fully grown adult with receding hairline.
Everything is getting worse
For a lot of people, everything is getting worse.
I don't think I know a happy person anymore. Everyone is miserable.
I wish I could be that fat guy with a ponytail who plays world of warcraft all day in his mom's basement. It would mean 1 hobby at least.
Having dreams of the online girlfriend I had when I was a teenager. It’s been nearly 20 years but i remember it fondly. I talked to her on Facebook maybe 10 years ago and she was still interesting.
In my dream last night she was realistic. She got angry when I took a picture of her and rejected any feelings I had towards her, but she asked me questions and we talked. I lost any ability to talk to people after my young teenage years.
These dreams happen every so often and make me think that a relationship would have prevented this or made me happy. It doesn’t matter because I couldn’t have changed anything.
Slept 16 hours again the first night I don't have work the next day…
Work is killing me. It's zapping my brain, my faculties. Social interaction is like pouring acid on my brain.
try caffeine pills
That's the dumbest advice I've seen on here.
Really? Cause wizchan has a pretty high bar for dumb advice.
how is it dumb? you are tired, caffeine makes you less tired, pretty simple
>Constantly applying for jobs since 2020
>Been to so many interviews I've lost count
>The interviewers are often passive aggressive, and sometimes even laugh at me
>Slowly start to lose hope in ever finding work
>Don't even bother applying anymore
>Turn on TV
>Unemployment only a heckin 3% :^)
>Turning 32 next week
Everyone makes it sound like jobs are everywhere but it's impossible for me to find anything.
Someone should just empirically examine the labor market and wider economy and report what they see, as I suspect a significant proportion of labor is underemployed and a proportion of economic activity is just stuff like property speculation. A further structural analysis would likely find the economy is configured this way to produce political outcomes rather than economic ones, as you're currently experiencing
I hate that the word normie is being used by normies.
no need to tell others to kill thsemvles here.. its a futile effort most here are already suicidal
not true. thres still plenty of happy normies out there , some people i went to high school with are examples of that. theyre generally happy cuz they follewed the normie path and had a great upbringing
Do some of you also sometimes wish that you could be reborn after death as another human? I don't believe in any of that, but it could be nice
Not everyone is miserable. Most people are happy with their lifes, or at least don't want to die. I just had the misfortune of being born as a mentally ill freak.
I always had intrusive thoughts, no paths available to me, anxiety/depression, parents who never helped me. so yea i got ripped off badly in life.
Absolutely fucking not. I never want to come back to this shit pile
i wana sock a dick
how do you deal with extremely severe anxiety almost every day that is triggered by common things you could easily run across daily? my anxiety is so bad I don’t think I want to live like this anymore, it is not worth it and without some sort of heavy drugs I will just dig this hole deeper and deeper, yes so bad I don’t think even drug addiction could top this hell
sounds like something americans do
I wonder if the nose tribe is involved
The depression should be landed
looking at jobs really makes me miserable, theres no way i could reliably operate in these situations
even something with computers, i think i would need my own cubical or id be constantly on edge
What is your opinion on "human" specimen who proudly boast about enjoying videos of animals being tortured (monkey babies for example)? . What's their endgame? They often ruin my already ruined mental condition for a few days because it's impossible to change anything on this Planet of Horror.
I've never encountered one that was proud about it. Some have admitted they watch it as a guilty pleasure.
i'm too addicted to weed to hold a job. im a hedonist who just likes being high all the time its been like this for years i dont know how i'm going to work.
You could try getting a remote job or something that you can easily sneak being high at work, like a supermarket employee.
i can't do supermarket around normies i hate those retards, plus i have no energy i'm not naive like most people. a remoate job is probably my only chance
Labour force participation is the best statistic to use and it hovers around like 66-70%. And like every second employmed foid working in a cafe or a supermarket feels entitled to only do 16-25 hours a week. I think only like 40% of adults are working full time in western societies.
Where did Dante get his ideas of hell if not from this world of ours?
fucking thank you, They can go on r9k for that normie shit
use normalfaggot, thats one theyll never take
they already did.
There are a lot of “people” who enjoys watching or doing most horrific and evil things there is no solution but to kill them. They’re just psychopaths.
Are they just edgy? Do they really mean it? Why are they saying it?
Most likely trying to fit in thinking imageboards were created for serial killers exclusively, thinking imageboards are "dark net".
Is it so hard to believe some people genuinely just like that shit? And if they're gonna talk about it anywhere then an anoymous imageboard is the best place.
I'd say most of the time it's edgelord retards who get a sense of control by acting like psychopaths, it makes them look like movie villains and "dangerous" if they act like they actually enjoy these things but they just end up fucking up their mental health completely at some point. Then there's also people who watch these things to compensate for something or because of the thrill and shock.
But of course there is also a certain amount of people who actually enjoy watching these things and they get a real sense of enjoyment from it and it's often people you wouldn't expect to be that fucked up.
Teenage boys have and always will be fascinated by morbid shit. It's part of growing up.
Put a lock on the outside of my door so my brother can lock me in here without internet or other vices. I have no self control so I plan to spend a month locked away as much as I can.
You cut off vices but you must substitute with something else. Creative hobbies? Exercise? Reading? Vidya backlog? Wire your brain to appreciate these things as the only outlet for stimulation.
I really have nothing at this point. Like I'm confused at what to do besides refresh websites until something makes it so I can't refresh websites.
That's me when I'm on wizchan just to realize it's the same small amount of people posting here and it takes hours until a new reply appears. It would be really interesting to see how many daily unique posters there actually are on here, it has to be less than 100.
i'd guess about 4
I don't know your circumstances but why bother moving out in this case? Just live peacefully a for a while if you have such luxury as living alone.
If you're looking for a place to die i suggest you should contract a company to build you a fancy burial place in a remote area
Didn't want to do it in my parents' house because it would be awkward and I refuse to give my asshole neighbors the entertainment. I'll probably live alone in my new place for a couple months and then exit.
Living alone/on my own won't improve my life more than 1% so it won't change my plans.
The world was designed by an intelligent being, because only something this uniquely horrible can also contain subtle comedy.
Wizchan reminds me I am not alonw. Even though I still feel that way.
Do any of you guys feel stupid? like you lost some bracrabs after being depressed for a long time.
Every time I get too stressed out or overwhelmed I start sleep walking. According to my housemate I threw out a teapot that I still wanted and that I have been eating his food or throwing it away. It's to the point now that he put locks on the refrigerator. What's more scary is that I apparently can have coherent conversations during my sleep walk. It used to be that I would just mutter nonsense so he would know I was sleep walking. I'll apparently try to leave the house, but I can't figure out the dead bolt so I always fail. If I can now speak actual words while sleepwalking, I'm afraid it's only a matter of time until I leave the house. It's as though my body is telling me that it's time to throw in the towel and just kill myself. My brain is like an engine that commits suicide by going into overdrive until it overheats itself.
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im not going to write a 90 page essay explaining what went wrong with my life.
it has been something like a random ai generated lovecraftian horror with a plot twist every second sentence, i am a ragdoll. i didnt even have control of my own mind, until very recently ive lived as a completely different person from what i am, it feels like i was born just a couple of years ago and im mentally 2, i dont know, its all weird.
i dont know. i just love mathematics a lot. and related things like cryptography, artificial intelligence and physics. i like these things a lot, more than anyone in the world.
i think god loves me because god made me different from everyone else. i think i had a purpose, i was supposed to study these things from a very young age. and become extremely useful. i wanted to carry the world on my shoulders, like atlas. because i love other people very much. i once had a dream and there people lost in a forest and i was a firefly and i showed them the path out. i wish i were like that. im very proud of what i can do but i didnt do anything and its too late to do anything now.
when i die, i dont want to go to heaven. i dont want anything like heaven. i know god exists but i dont even want to meet god. i dont want eternal rest either. i wish i could wake up again when i was 4, i wish i could try everything again. i want to study a lot and contribute a lot, thats all. i want to be free, i want to be myself. i want to show you what i can see. i think maybe i will become some kind of bad ghost after i die, and i will annoy living people, because i want something that is impossible and i cant not have that. i wish i could live again, i had a life to live but i didnt live it. i think by now ive spent years every day locking myself away in a dark bedroom and i spend all day wishing i had another life where i can be myself, i like imagining the things i would do, because its all impossible and pointless now, theres no escape from where im from. i dont know.
i really believe in god. i think shes like a succubus. i cry a lot in my bedroom, so i got a case of third man syndrome, where this succubus comes to comfort me, and i think shes my anima and i think of her as god, shes like my real mother, infinitely kind and forgiving and so many other nice words. i think she made me for a purpose but i failed her completely.
i dont know, im insane, nothing i say makes any sense, theres no way any person, even if they read my embarrassing walls of text, would think this is anything but gibberish. im an alien, im a monster. i dont understand normal people at all, i feel like you all speak a different language that i dont understand.
i dont know, i wanted to express that i feel pain, that is all. i dont know how to describe this pain with words, qualitatively and quantitatively.
i have to kill myself soon or ill end up homeless and then ill die anyway starving in the streets. i have completely given up on life, even if god came down from the heavens and invited me to heaven i wouldnt want to go, i want to live my life here on earth, i want to rewind this film and start over, its over now and nothing i can do can fix this. even though im very proud of myself and i think i could have been genuinely useful. i dont know ill die like i never existed. but i existed. and i was different, unlike anyone else, in a useful way.
i dont know i could spend hours ranting, there are a hundred trillion things id like to say, but i dont know how to express myself with words. theres nothing i can do or say. i think i have been made to learn, discover, write and create, at least i love doing these things like no one else, but i lived in a cage until the end.
sorry. i dont know sorry.