Wish I could kill myself, but people are just going to think I did it because I'm a loser and couldn't get a girlfriend. When in reality, that was just a small part of the problem and my actual reasons were much more nuanced and intellectual. I guess I could leave a note and explain it all but then chances are they'll just think I was a pretentious twat. I couldn't possible elaborate on the decisions in a mere standard one page. Who the fuck leaves a thesis as their suicide note?
I also have to worry about what happened in the week before. I don't want my mum or the newspaper painting the picture, "killed himself after fucking up at work" or other lame reasons. You know those headlines that always read "30 year old female takes her own life because she was lonely and couldn't get married" and I'm like how do you even know that. Probably what her grandma thinks or the neighbor's impression after he talked to her once.
>>264710>You know those headlines that always read "30 year old female takes her own life because she was lonely and couldn't get married" and I'm like how do you even know that. Probably what her grandma thinks or the neighbor's impression after he talked to her once.
Normies are animals just like dogs, hyenas, buffaloes etc.
They do not thing outside biological imperatives. Whatever happened - must have happened because someone got no dick or pussy.
Keep in mind half of the population is close to retardation in IQ
“Only optimists commit suicide, optimists who no longer succeed at being optimists. The others, having no reason to live, why would they have any to die?”
― Emil Cioran
I'd argue that only optimist can kill themselves, because pessimist has no reason to assume that after death there will be total peace. On the contrary - this world is hell, why shouldn't afterlife be different? Even worse, since you have tried to escape this prison. The warden of this prison would punish you severely.
That feeling when you realize all living organisms everywhere in the universe fight over resources, and therefore create hierarchies where the strong exploit or kill the smaller or weaker.
Life is hell everywhere, not just on Earth but any other possible place where we might be reborn after suicide.
There is no escape!
Even if you're born as the strong life is still constant stress over assassination, foreign intervention or war.
Take the Kim Jong-Un scenario for example, you are 28 years old and your galactic emperor dad dies. You are now the new emperor.
Sure, you're the 'strongest' person in the empire but now you also have massive responsibilities, need dozens of bodyguards everywhere you go and have to fear hitmen and assassins whenever you hear some noise or random bump somewhere in your palace.
It's all a hellscape shitshow.
>>264717>That feeling when you realize all living organisms everywhere in the universe fight over resources, and therefore create hierarchies where the strong exploit or kill the smaller or weaker.
There are also symbiotic and parasitic relationships between organisms
>Life is hell everywhere, not just on Earth but any other possible place where we might be reborn after suicide.
We can anticipate life narrowing as the cosmos degenerates into simpler elements over the next 100 trillion years, but it's hard to say whether this will be more or less hellish for the remaining beings
To be fair, absolute monarchs do have the option of becoming decadent coomers and letting the cabinet run everything. Mao did it for three years before becoming paranoid, Castro sort of backed off from running the state and just fucked foids all day in his adiddas sweatpants.
Kim Jong-Un could take a total indifferent stance to the affairs of state, and be just a figurehead going with whoever wins the power struggle behind the scenes.
There’s few reasons I suppose, the most obvious ones that stick out are the fear of what my mum might think or do, the logistical nightmare of living in the one state in America that has some pretty strict gun laws, and I am sacred of what might happen after I die. To explain a little bit more,I love my mum more that anyone in the world and I really think she might be the only person in existence who would be impacted by my own death until her passing. I also feel like using a gun would be the safest bet and also the least frightening way to do it. To me the worst bit would be fear of what happens after death. Everything that most people propose from everything becoming a void to ending up in heaven or hell just seem terrible. But to really sum it up, I’m just a huge fucking pussy.
I have a gigantic fear of dying and death itself. Not because of hell or some bullshit like that. The thought of not-existing and not being able to think is scaring me for some reason.
I also fear what others think about me. They would probably think I killed myself for some retarded reason. I want the world to know why.
I thought about writing a really long suicide letter. But nobody would read it anyway.
The fear is wordless. You are trying to put language to it through "it's the thought of not-existing" or "what others might think" but these are narratives attempting to give shape to a more base discomfort. There is a simple coded aversion to harm in you, fear is a type of harm, there is a simple coded fear of death in you. That's all there's to it.
are there any OTC antiemetics in the US that will work for SN method? i wont be able to get this kind of prescription. thanks.
There have been several coup and assassination plots against him.
He had to blow up his uncle with an artillery cannon just to make an example out of him for other mutineers.
>I also fear what others think about me. They would probably think I killed myself for some retarded reason
This. I don't want anyone to think I killed myself over some dumb bitch or other retarded reasons, people will make up the dumbest shit. I'm not sure if I will ever kill myself but this is the reason why I'm gonna write down some stuff
I also share the fear of dying and whatever comes afterwards but I also don't think I will get old so when death gets me with a heart attack or whatever I'm just gonna have to accept it anyway. For some odd reason I always see myself collapsing on a hospital bed whenever I think about death but I think ill just die in my apartment without anyone noticing.
>>264734>Kim Jong-Un could take a total indifferent stance to the affairs of state, and be just a figurehead going with whoever wins the power struggle behind the scenes.
I wonder if that's how the Japanese imperial court existed for almost a thousand years.
They were just ceremonial figureheads who supported whichever warlord or Daimyo was in power.
The Daimyo then used their lineage and prestige to cement their rule and legitimize their position as ruler.
The emperor was free to just fuck around, eat, drink and do whatever he wants on state funds, the ultimate NEET
Why would you care what other people think after you die? You're dead. You literally won't be around to experience it.
i hate life. but it seems weird to die after having lived so little. such a miserable, pathetic life. life owes me more
That's because he's actually at heart a liberal minded reformer with the interests of his people in mind. His dad was the sort of fat cat lazy retard I described and that's why he coasted by fine.
I relate.I'm 26 and for me this "life" was more like a shitty demo, like the ones that let you play 2 or 3 hours, I never even managed to experience 10% of the shit people usually does and yet the Little I've lived was so shit that I already want to call it quits.
One of these days I Will just break and jump in front of the train.
Sitting with sodium nitrite in my drawers is bringing me peace. It has 2025 expiry and got two packets. Ready to go when I can’t take another kick.
I plan to kill myself in about a month from now. I'm waiting because my sister is getting married this month, and my brother's birthday is soon after that, and I don't want to put a dark cloud over anyone's good time. There is the possibility that I'll pussy out when the time comes, but I have been getting some fairly consistent reminders as to why I'm ending it all, so hopefully I can push through and do it.
I have noticed something interesting in my life lately, however. I used to do a lot of daydreaming and fantasizing about a variety of things. Sometimes about my shitty life improving, sometimes about other worlds and realities just to entertain myself. Lately, however, my fantasies have been far less fleshed out. I still daydream, but it's very watered-down in comparison to what I used to dream up. I think the fact that I have finally, truly given up on life, and am now staring down the barrel of my own mortality, has caused me to start shutting down mentally. I just can't bring myself to care about anything anymore, not even my own fantasies. Now I just go through the motions most days, I feel like a zombie or a husk. I even wonder if this is what it feels like to be a normalfag: little-to-no inner dialogue or creative thoughts, just moving mindlessly from one bland event to the next until the day ends. It's a strange feeling to be sure.
I know that feel, it’s like the evolution of my/our depression. I almost liked it better when it “hurt”, there was at least a sham sense of poetry/romanticism/drama to it, like that Rimbaud poem that I’ve long forgotten. Like I was at least living some life, a road less travelled, some other nonsense like that. But now I’m just empty, I wake up and look around, and I can’t justify any of it. I simply see no point. I don’t know how any of the more “hardcore wizards” go on, I’m essentially a failed normie/washed up chad and the intense decline over the years is really unquestionable. I was never once happy, always “going with the flow” and just following the societal ways, but now… it’s such a sham that every new day feels like a betrayal of something deep inside me. The only thing that makes me aware of myself is the calling of death. My real name means nothing, it has this definite shape and form that falls apart. But when death calls, I know what I really am and why I’m here. To die. That’s it. It’s not romantic or touching or meaningful, it just is. Oh well. I’m likely going to catch that bus soon too. Good luck.
dont have the energy or know-how if i did i'd be gone 10 years ago. literally have one of the worst lives around.
>>264850>But now I’m just empty, I wake up and look around, and I can’t justify any of it. I simply see no point.
Yeah, that's pretty much it to a tee. I used to think that my suffering at least had some kind of meaningful aspect to it, like I'm suffering to strengthen myself for something, but I can no longer bring myself to put a positive spin on this awful life of mine. I've already accepted and internalized the fact that nothing I do matters and I'm going to die soon, so everything has become pointless. Honestly, the bulk of my day consists of playing video games, watching shows and/or youtube videos, or browsing the internet, basically anything to keep me distracted until I can finally get off this ride.
>But when death calls, I know what I really am and why I’m here. To die. That’s it.
I can relate to that. It's actually kind of funny in a way, when my mother was pregnant with me she nearly drowned. When I was being born, the doctors had to preform a cesarean section birth because my umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck and I would have been strangled. My sister and brother were both born in a military-base hospital, while I was born in a common hospital in one of the worst, most dangerous cities in the US. It's as if something or someone was trying to spare me from this life. Unfortunately, I was born anyway, and now here I am 30 years later wishing I hadn't been.
>I’m likely going to catch that bus soon too. Good luck.
Thanks, fellow wiz. I hope it goes well for both of us.
>>264852> used to think that my suffering at least had some kind of meaningful aspect to it, like I'm suffering to strengthen myself for something, but I can no longer bring myself to put a positive spin on this awful life of mine.
Yeah precisely. Past the point of pretending.>It's as if something or someone was trying to spare me from this life.
Funny, my mom had a miscarriage before me, and then insisted on trying again and here I am. Should've taken the lesson the first time I guess. Likewise, quick and painless, vanish without a trace, etc.
i havent killed myself yet because i like daydreaming and i know death is the end. i wanted to do things, i wanted to live my life. but i couldnt. so i hang dearly to daydreams, fantasies, and memories. i spend all my time imagining nice things. its the only way to experience what i wanted to live. i couldnt live my life, so i like imagining, imagining being free. if i die, i wont have that anymore. my life is over and i have to kill myself to at least avoid becoming homeless and starving to death - i have so given up on life id rather be homeless and starve to death in the cold than accept great job opportunities - but there are things i love so i have to imagine them because i couldnt live them.
i like imagining being a very small kind and completely devoting my life to studying. programming languages, operating systems, then mathematics, physics. going to an university and writing a lot. and having an important job that helps a lot of people. i like imagining drawing and composing. i think i could have been the happiest person in the world, even without any money or friends. i think im different and can do things no one else can even imagine, im very lucky to be myself, even though i couldnt be myself. if not then at the very least i just love mathematics a lot.
i wish i were free. i wish i could have been myself. there are so many things about myself that i dont even know and i wanted to find more about myself. and i wanted to learn more about the world. and be useful and interact with others. i think i had a real purpose but i failed. i hope god forgives me.
i hope that i can try again after i die. i dont want eternal rest, i dont even want to go to heaven if it exists, i just really wish i could reincarnate and get another chance. i wish i could rewind time, i wish i were born again. i want another chance. i just love learning and i think i could have been useful. but i didnt get to live that life.
i dont know i wish i could express myself but i can never do it satisfactorily. i dont know. im the worst. freak. low iq. cringe. mentally ill. all the bad things. sorry. sorry for making a post.
I kind of feel like this too. I don't know if i could really do all the well if I only had one more chance. I feel like I would need at least ten to live a good life.
Anyone know a cheaper source for nitrite other than intimcuisine
Honestly, I'm unsure as to why I haven't killed myself yet. I've been suicidal since I was 10, maybe 11. Infact you could even say that I have been suicidal since I was 7 or so, though back then my reason for wanting to kill myself wasn't because life sucks but because I had a morbid curiosity regarding what happens after you die. I remember trying to kill myself at age 11, it was a sudden fit. I had slept for maybe 10 hours the entire past week, and I just had to get woken up by my father loudly cussing, out of all things. I thought about the usual routine, eat stale bread with butter, then fuck off to school in the freezing cold, where I would have to deal with over a thousand screaming elementary schoolers for some 8 hours, doing fucking nothing but staring at the walls while surrounded by adults and children who all think I'm mentally ill, bar none. I'm honestly glad nobody ever found out that I tried to kill myself, I'd probably have to live a life far worse than the one I have if they did. It sucked fucking ass having to wipe my tears, get yelled at by my father for not changing in time, and then walk all the way over to school though. Didn't help that my impromptu suicide attempt made me miss out on my breakfast either.
I've thought about how maybe I don't actually want to kill myself, that would explain why I haven't done so despite being suicidal for a decade and a half, but I doubt it's true. I used to hate my family for lots of good reasons, and in fact I even tried to stab them, but now it's cooled off and I just don't want anything to do with them. I get overworked everyday until I'm dead exhausted. I've never really interacted with any succubi at all, not even in kindergarten or elementary or whatever, I haven't wanted to interact with them either. I haven't had any friends since 4th grade. I used to have an online friend that I'd play games with but now he's like a neglected puppy because I don't have enough time. I simply don't gain enjoyment from life, I haven't even masturbated in years and I eat bread/rice/eggs and drink water and coffee. Beer makes me feel good but I don't even bother to drink it for some mysterious reason. In my free time I just sit in front of the computer and browse the web, not bothering with games, anime, etc. I get in this bizarre semi-conscious state where I can only vaguely tell where I am or what I am doing, after writing a post I might stare at it puzzled wondering whether it was me who wrote it, even though I only posted it 5 minutes ago. Everyday I just suddenly snap out of this bizarre state at some late hour, after gazing at my computers clock and judging it about time to go to bed, and I stop and wonder to myself. What the actual fuck did I even do in that X hour long session? I could name you 3-4 of the websites I went on sure, but I definitely couldn't tell you what it is I did there. The amount of time spent and the amount of things done doesn't match either, who the fuck spends 6 hours straight doing nothing but reading wikipedia articles for example?
Anyways, what I was trying to say is that since my life is shit, I shouldn't have any attachment to life other than the purely biological one, and therefore that the reason I haven't killed myself couldn't be that I'm secretly okay with living or something. I get a sudden urge to do it once a week or so, but for some reason it's never the right occasion for it. Jump off the building? Meaningless, the building is too low, same with all others in this city, the chances of me getting lucky and dying must be something like 1%, and the chances of becoming braindead 50%. Stab myself with a kitchen knife? I bet it won't do too well against human bodies, not to mention I'd have to stab many times and even twist the knife around, all the while hoping unrealistically that I'll be able to contain the urge to scream and thus avoid the neighbours calling for help. A gun? If I could get my hands on one then I probably would really have ended myself by now, in a sudden burst of bloodlust at least. Sodium Nitrite or whatever? That'd require advance preparation. I'll probably end up going out with that though.
Rereading this post now, it just looks like whiny bitching without going anywhere. I want to add something to it but I can't figure out what that thing is. I'm tired and it's past bedtime, so I guess I'll just end up vomiting it out in this state. Quite halfassed, just like everything else I've done
I’ve decided to kill myself by overdose.
How many Valium pills would I nees for that? I have a bunch here. I’m thinking about waiting my next supply and then take them all at once.
The pills alone won't suffice. Even with alcohol there's no 100% guarantee, but it's up to you anon
Don't use pills. I took a bunch of, around 80-90 supposedly rather strong sleeping pills with alcohol yet I'm still here. Pills rarely kill people. Drug overdose, like heroin, is another thing entirely. Anything doctors prescribe you is most likely isn't strong enough to kill you even in big doses.
The only thing you will accomplish is that you will be locked up in psychiatry for a while. Needless to say, most people there are normals too. Don't depend on uncertain suicide methods like pills.
I recommend hanging, jumping in front of the train or guns if you have them.
exit bag in a mcdonalds bathroom, painless, impossible to resuscitate, cheap, no one noble is inflicted with cleaning my dead body.
I have to much solidarity for my local railway workers to cause them a trauma like jumping out a head.
You go to Heaven after you die, nigga. It’s that simple. There’s no hell btw.
So here's been the last week or so of my life:
>dad pushes me towards warehouse job
>apply and get hired
>told by supervisor that I will be working 40 hours per week, but I will have some 10 hour shifts because they're entering their 'busy season'
>after the first few days they change me to 10 hours a day every day, plus some 8-hour shifts two Saturdays this month (basically lied about most of the job)
>come home feeling exhausted and miserable every day
>dad asks me about work
>said I'd rather not talk about it
>dad gets enraged and screams at me for 20 minutes, hurling insults at me and belittling me as much as he can (my dad has always been controlling and manipulative, and has narcissistic tendencies, so the fact that I don't love the job he pushed me into is a personal affront to him in his eyes)
I decided enough was enough and this morning I went out to kill myself. First, I sent my supervisor a message saying I was sick and couldn't come in, then I 'left for work.' This way, neither my coworkers nor my parents would think to look for me until I was already long dead. I then drove to the hardware store and bought 25 feet of 1-inch thick manila rope to hang myself with. I was all ready and set to go out and end it, I was even excited about it. Unfortunately, the lesser parts of my nature, namely my cowardice and indecision, won the day. I spent nearly 11 hours driving around the state, looking for what would be the "perfect spot" only to ultimately find nothing suitable, pussy out, and return home in shame, pretending I actually went to work. I feel like the dumbest, lowliest, most cowardly piece of trash right now. I can neither live my life nor end it correctly. I am truly the biggest failure this world has ever seen.
You're not a coward. Search for another thing to do that you like, that is not a job you were forced to take. Or you will just go without a fight?
Just got back from the nut house today after pussying out of a suicide attempt. A week there and nothing has changed in my life I wish I had succeeded. The only thing that has changed is the fact I made it impossible to get a gun in my state for 5 years.
Is there a book or essay or whatever, a guideline how to hang yourself most effectively?
I need to starve myself to death I don't have another method
do you have a crossbow at least?
that's what normies do for attention. You're not a normie are you?
I appreciate the sentiment, but unfortunately I am indeed a coward. I never stand up for my self when I should and I generally shy away from most things that make me feel unsafe or uncomfortable, such as any form of confrontation. I am too afraid to make most of my own decisions and I can't even go through with my own suicide.>Search for another thing to do that you like
I was seriously considering buying myself an acoustic guitar and teaching myself to play, but I'm even afraid of doing that because I feel like my dad is going to hassle me about it in some way.>>265838
I don't know if there is any written guide, but I can share with you what I found in my research. Firstly, you want probably 20+ feet of 1-inch thick rope, something that is durable enough to withstand a dropping human body. I would personally recommend polyester. I couldn't find polyester at the hardware store I went to, so I chose manila which is perfectly viable as well, so is polypropylene though not preferred as it is essentially a weaker polyester, but it can do the job. You are likely to hear the term "nylon necktie" thrown around, however I personally wouldn't recommend ropes like nylon, as they tend to have more stretch and you want rope with less give so your neck is more likely to snap from the drop. Now as far as where to hang yourself, you need somewhere fairly high up. There is actually a table authored by the US government in the late 19th century and revised by the British government in the early 20th century (you can find it online with a quick search) that acts as a guideline for the ideal height to drop depending on bodyweight, in order to ensure the neck snaps at the end of the drop. If memory serves, the height ranges from 6 to 9 feet (hence the 20 feet of rope, to make certain you have enough) depending on the weight of the individual. For example, I am a bit over 200lbs, so a 6-foot drop would have been plenty to end me, but someone closer to 180lbs may need 7 feet or more. Also make sure that you try to drop down as straight as possible.
It's important that you try to make your neck snap, as it will sever your brainstem and cause instant death. If you don't do this correctly you could be hanging there for as long as 20 minutes, during which time you will undergo excruciating pain as you slowly suffocate. Not only that, but if someone finds you before you suffocate completely, you could be 'saved' and end up a vegetable. Finally, when it comes to the knot, you can find out how to tie both a hangman's noose and a slipknot with youtube video tutorials. I would personally recommend the slipknot, as it's incredibly easy to tie, untie, and adjust as needed. Hope that was helpful to you, wiz, and good luck.
>>265845>I was seriously considering buying myself an acoustic guitar
But why you just don't do it? If you're going to be yelled at anyway, at least that it is for something you wanted. is not like is the first time neither.
You're not wrong. My dad is nearly impossible to please, and even if that wasn't true, I don't really give a shit about what he thinks anyway. So I think I'll probably go buy one tomorrow, depending on how much they cost.
Not avocating suicide, but if you do, please come here to give us a last post
there's no way I could do the drop thing, the beams on my attic simply aren't high enough, plus I probably requires a lot of practice.
I was thinking more along the lines of erotic asphyxiation, people die of it all the time without even meaning to.
It's funny, when I left the other day, I thought to myself "maybe I should have posted some kind of goodbye or send off." I guess that's what I'll do next time. I did write a quick note to leave on my corpse, however. It was a simple 3 lines:>NO FUNERAL.>Please cremate my body.>Dump my ashes wherever.
Followed by my name and signature. I didn't bother trying to explain my reasons as most of my family wouldn't care, and the few that did wouldn't understand.
Also, next time I go to kill myself I'm going to be smarter about it. I shouldn't have went the hanging route at all, since I live in a state where I can obtain a firearm with relative ease, especially since I have no criminal record. So next time I'm going to go buy myself a gun and a bottle of alcohol, take a stiff drink or two, then distribute my grey matter throughout the inside of my car.>>265873
Honestly, if I had gone through with it, I might have screwed up the drop myself. I haven't really looked into asphyxiation, but I imagine it wouldn't be difficult to research. People publish papers/articles on these things more than you might think. I think it's just that most people seem to look for things along the lines of "Wanna kill yourself? Here's how!" when really it's more obituary-type articles in the vein of "X people die of this each year. Here's how it kills you." Really, just type 'autoerotic asphyxiation' into your search engine of choice and read up, I'm willing to bet there's plenty of resources out there.
A cow sanctuary in india will just waste the money. You would be better off organising with a shelter where you donate loads of dry food or equipment to help the animals there. No one can do anything with dog food but feed dogs. I saw a documentary where a couponer would buy a thousand dollars worth of stuff and abuse coupons to make it free, then deliver it all to a christian food kitchen just down the road. You will be paying but the principal remains.
Alternatively fund something and work with local groups to make it happen. There's lots of benches donated by family members in remembrance so the system works. Fund an animal part or whatever.
The problem with charity donations is a lot of charities are fake as fuck. Like rape shelters are always run by feminists who actively work against supporting male rape victims in any way. So you have to be ultra careful when dealing with them. The most evil people always wrap themselves up in a cloak of good to allow them to do more damage.
are there any guide for hanging? some pro tips or something/
he is not serious lol you are wasting your time
it is for the best i guess because if his posts are anything to go by he has to be a massive sucker
I think I've hit rock bottom yet i still can't get myself to do it.
why do you act like im some kind of well-known user here?
im an anonymous wiz just like anyone else
i read on wikipedia the other day that when the US and UK used manila rope for hangings they would boil the rope before hand to take out elasticity
lets be honest:how many of you(I am one)want to cease to breath because you're not beatiful?
I really and honestly,cant BEAR not being beatiful.
or because you wanna be a succ. you already made a post about how seeing some beautiful succ on tv made you depressed.
why do you adress me as tho Im someone who posts here with an username?
because you might as well have an avatar and a signature too
get a room you two weirdos
oh,thanks for reminding me about THAT very real motivation to KMS.
Recently I've been fantasizing with getting a big fat loan, use that money to travel to Japan, have fun in there until money runs out and then kill myself, have all the fun I never had in life for 3 or 4 weeks of pure enjoyment and then say goodbye, I think's that what I will eventually do, besides getting a loan that I can't pay after pretty much guarantees that killing myself is the only way out.
Sounds like a solid plan.
that's not really how loans work.
Well I don't know if its any different in the US, but I just checked with my bank and they would be willing to give me a really good amount of money in cash right now (have a very good credit score) so I could really just spend it all and then kill myself.
>>265944>take a loan>have lots of fun>try to kill yourself>pussy out/survive
What about this turn of event?
Having to pay an exorbitant amount of money that I can't pay back would be enough reason to kill myself, that and all the shit I already hate about my life should be enough to push me towards suicide in a definitive way.
What would you do in Japan?
Scroll up a bit, I made an entire post about it. Maybe skim over the bit about the rope though, I'm not sure if I got that part right.>>265890
You and me both. I'm trying to get myself psyched-up for another attempt later this year, but I don't know if I can actually do it. Maybe I'm just too weak now.>>265892
Yet another reason why I might have screwed up if I attempted. Who knows.
I started doing "DMT breathing/holotrophic breathwork".
I think I want to/will do 10 hours of it a day…maybe I'll get saved.
who knows,im all-in, naught to lose.let it be thus
when the improvebrah goes too far
How and where do I buy a rope?
my suicide reason is honestly,totally,Body Dysphoria.
never in the trans way,but genuinely because Im not a prettyboy. i wasnt one in high school at all,i cant be skinny either.
my body packs on muscle out of thin air because I do semen retention,,thus,not skinny at all.
If you're taking SSRI meds overdose on them or drink cough syrup with DXM in it.
Serotonin Syndrome is what its called.
That’s supposed to be painful and slow, it’s treatable too
whats the most you went without sleep,seeking death,since wanting to die?
I think if you TRULY want to die you need to prove it (to your very self only)by renouncing any health or expectation of a longer life,of a tomorrow.
I disagree with this stance. I can understand not caring and letting your health deteriorate naturally as a result, but actively sabotaging your health and putting yourself through additional suffering just to prove to yourself what you already know makes no sense. Personally, I try to maintain my health to a reasonable degree, because I want to live somewhat comfortably for the last few weeks or so that I'm still here.
On a separate note, does anyone have any handgun recommendations when it comes to shooting myself? I've been looking into this a bit, but I was wondering if anyone here had a good idea or a knowledge of firearms.
>>264847>Now I just go through the motions most days, I feel like a zombie or a husk. I even wonder if this is what it feels like to be a normalfag: little-to-no inner dialogue or creative thoughts, just moving mindlessly from one bland event to the next until the day ends. It's a strange feeling to be sure.
I share this feeling deeply. Is it just an advanced symptom of depression and apathy? I don't even know anymore, everything is so dull and boring and not worth thinking about.
A related idea ,also.I call it "one second enlightement">"go to sleep "standing up in the middle of my room>the second I really fall asleep I will fall>wake up when I hit the floor>that split second of sleep-state will bring me enlightment
one night of sleep "deprivation" makes you LESS depressed,tho…
>>266196>Is it just an advanced symptom of depression and apathy?
Probably so. It's how I seem to feel most of the time, those constant thoughts of "what is even the point?" seem to be where my mind instantly goes in response to most things I encounter in life now.>everything is so dull and boring and not worth thinking about.
Yeah, that's how it is for me these days as well. I just don't care 90%+ of the time.>>266217
I guess, but that didn't seem to be what the other wiz was talking about. His post came across as an attempt at self-inflicted suffering for the sake of rejecting the very concept of life itself, rather than a method of relieving one's own depression.
are there any suicide forums besides SS,which is bullshit? maybe onions?
I wont directly KMS, but I'll go on a spree of adrenaline jukie-ying myself,I guess i'll end up in the middle of the forest within a few months,or homeless in another city,without a map,in weeks.
I can endure;pain,hunger,cold,heat.
To be honest, im just to much af a pussy to actually jump off the roof
I haven’t done much research but I’d imagine if you’re able to buy a gun shooting your brain stem is probably a more absolute method. Death by train seems like a lot of added suffering and a possibility you may survive for at least part of it. I remember reading the autobiography of Malcolm X and there was a part where his father was tortured and ran over with a trolley crushing his head and he supposedly laid alive for hours before dying and I always think about that regarding death by train
I'm not American so guns are out of the question unfortunately. I also plan on doing it in another country than my own, so I figured train or jumping off a high place are my only options.
too scared so ill have to stick around til the end. i think everythings predetermined anyway so ill just watch it play out
One acquaintance suicided by train when I was in high school. I didn't witness the action but I got told by classmates that did what happened.
Somehow his foot got chopped off of his legs and flew 5-6 meters away from him. After he jumped he was still moving under the train indicating that he didn't die on impact. When the medics came he was already pronounced dead.
Doesn't sound like a good way to end it in my opinion.
go into the forest and eat a bunch of random berries, mushrooms and plants, and then you're dead.
don't go around traumatizing the drivers and rescue workers
>>264847>I still daydream, but it's very watered-down in comparison to what I used to dream up
I've been on that steadily decline for at least the last 5 or 6 years, I can't even remember when it started. The thing is I used to treasure the ability to imagine those worlds, stories and to ponder about philosophical or political questions, and whenever I thought about losing that part of me I thought that I would end my life for sure, but now that I've actually lost the better part of that I just don't seem to care that much about it. I'm not even sad, just empty, but I still not feel like offing myself because since I'm empty I can just go through life without caring that much about all the things I lost along the way.
It's a strange kind of hell really, and sometimes I which I could end it because there's still a small part of me that feels like things shouldn't be so horrible.
Not my fucking problem.
I earn 50K mexican pesos a month. But I spend/waste a lot of it.
If I "tap into" the Death-Drive I guess I can save 80% of it every a month..for 2 years?
what last,great,adventure can I embark upon once I have nice dough?
hey Kaijiwiz you still alive?
that's a lot, are you a programmer?
I am Given by my parents+uncles. (dont worry; this is the appropiate Estate of things. the universe has an Order)
but,yes: i still need to save with fierce asceticism for…some stuff.
>>266378>I'm not even sad, just empty, but I still not feel like offing myself because since I'm empty I can just go through life without caring that much about all the things I lost along the way.>It's a strange kind of hell really, and sometimes I which I could end it because there's still a small part of me that feels like things shouldn't be so horrible.
That's about where I'm at as well. Overall, I still lament how awful this world and my life is, but on a day-to-day basis I'm just going through the motions and not caring all that much.
Also, a minor update on my foolish escapades. (continued from >>265828
) I took the day off from work and drove down to a local gun shop. I'm in the US, in a state where gun laws are pretty lax, so I figured I would be able to pick up a handgun(for easy use and concealment) and, when I feel the time is right, go out and shoot myself. Unfortunately when I got there the selection was scarce because apparently they just returned from a gun show. The only handguns they had available were either well out of my price range or little pea-shooter .22LRs. So first I try to hang myself, but can't find a decent spot, now I want to shoot myself but I can't find a decent gun. I feel like my life is turning into a sort of dark comedy where some divine being gets to screw with me and laugh about it, like some sick twist on The Truman Show. It would almost be funny if I weren't so miserable.
Maybe the Universe or God is sending you signs that you shouldn't kill yourself? Sounds like someone has a plan for you out there.>>266378
What you describe is more like Nirvana than Hell. Emptiness isn't necessarily bad. You are free from all the bonds and chains of this world. You should venture deeper down the rabbit hole if you ask me.
>>265882>The most evil people always wrap themselves up in a cloak of good to allow them to do more damage.
>>266654>Sounds like someone has a plan for you out there.
Yeah, and I'm sure they're getting a real laugh out of it too.
Best reason, fuck em all.
Couldn't even get the right rope.
Brings myself great satisfaction knowing another day I live on this Earth makes someone's day that much shittier. The actions I do just pisses someone off that brings me great satisfaction knowing my existence really just erodes a few handful of people's mental being.
Plus, suicide doesn't have as much weight as it use to have. There once was a time that it would cause deep emotional pain for those around, but now it seems it brings a temporary mental road block with no lasting effect that is eventually memory-holed.
With that being said, it oddly makes the world an oyster, since now the thought of not being means there's nothing to lose. With nothing to lose, there's everything to live for.
I know I am needed even if is to bother and harass people late at night in sleazy bars.
I am afraid to reeincarnate in a roach, a rat or a succubus.
Living is all that I know life is mysterious and absurd which is exciting. I don't know what to call it maybe like some kind solipsist grandiosity but I feel as though if I keep living I may just discover some special purpose discover knowledge that gives life new meaning. Of course I know that this is silly, and that my life is probably to be just as mundane and uneventful as it has been thus far. I find the prospect of plunging myself into something I am not at all familiar with (Death) to be uncomfortable. Living is dreadful but sometimes tolerable and perhaps even preferable
Many here say they are only alive out of spite, revenge or something similar. As someone who has been done that road I can tell you that won't suffice always. You can only cling to negativity and hostility for so long before burning out. You need to find something else, something you enjoy doing. Spite/revenge still means that you care about other people on some level. Let go of that.
I'm not saying you should like people. But forgiving them and moving on really helped me to distance myself from them. Now if I do torment people or cause them some kind of trouble I do so not because I hate them but because I enjoy doing it, tormenting inferior life forms like normals.>>266693
Maybe but it is exciting, no? To think that you have a purpose or role in life only you can fulfill perfectly. And that someone or something wants you to be alive to fulfill that purpose.>>266859
I know those feels. I rediscovered my faith in God recently and I can only laugh at this world now. It's full of misery, sin, hypocrisy, lies, suffering, filth but I can't deny that it is constructed amazingly and it is entertaining in some odd way.
I dont have any, nor do i need any
>>266866>Maybe but it is exciting, no? To think that you have a purpose or role in life only you can fulfill perfectly. And that someone or something wants you to be alive to fulfill that purpose.
I thought about this, and if it is true, it doesn't really make me all that excited. Like I said in my earlier post, it feels like my life is some sick joke, like some otherworldly being is having a laugh at my expense. I'm at a point in my life where my health is beginning to deteriorate and a lifetime of failures have left me with basically no future to look forward to. When I think about it, it just makes me angry as hell. And even if it isn't some cruel joke, but rather an actual plan or destiny, then from what I can tell it's a fairly shitty plan. In which case I still see no need to carry on with this foolish game.>>266893
Agreed. One of the normalfag platitudes I hate the most is "happiness is a choice." It's the ultimate delusion. To think that people like us, who go through bad childhoods, various traumas, and severe degrees of loneliness, can somehow shrug off all of that pain like it never happened is insultingly retarded. People who believe that an individual can choose their mood as easily as choosing an outfit to wear are living life on easy mode. To hell with them.
no one cares about you at all
much less your "suffering"
no one wants to help you
no one should help you
if you legitimately can't survive without "help" you are worthless
everything is a choice, you are just so stupid and shortsighted you can't be bothered to see how your choices result in your situation.
you're dying, that's why you're depressed.
you don't have enough life force to fill your body.
your body is weighing the possibility of just deciding to drop dead.
this is psychological apoptosis; you don't have any apparent reason to live (your instincts aren't being satisfied), so in evolutionary history this means there's a good chance the species would be better off without you - that's why the suicidal urge evolved.
either do something to satisfy your instincts (this means breaking some rules) or just die
Emphasizing your or others' suffering all the time implies that you take things way too seriously. Suffering comes and goes just like everything else in this life. Don't get caught up in it. There is no special prize for those who complain all the time.>>266940
Then you will hate me but I will say it anyway.>To think that people like us, who go through bad childhoods, various traumas, and severe degrees of loneliness, can somehow shrug off all of that pain like it never happened is insultingly retarded.
Why do you value your misery and celebrate it so highly? I feel like eternal suffering is a fetish for some people. You take yourself way too seriously. There are many people who got a worse lot from fate yet they managed to deal with it. You probably also have things you should be grateful for but you disregard these.>People who believe that an individual can choose their mood as easily as choosing an outfit to wear
It isn't easy but it can be done. With practice. I learned to be generally happy and at peace too. It takes a while but you can get there. The mind is capable of fantastic things. You just need to tune it to other frequencies.
I'm not angry enough. I could go to the nearest railroad crossing and jump in front of a train but it scares me to jump in front of a train. Like it really takes some balls to do it.
Why do people come here, a place DESIGNED SPECIFICALLY FOR PEOPLE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THEIR PROBLEMS, and say we are complaining about our problems too much? It's like you're seeking out something and then complaining you see too much of it. By the shit of God, donate your brain to someone who might use it.
Yup, invalidating people's suffering is a perfect way to resolve it.
>>267150>a place DESIGNED SPECIFICALLY FOR PEOPLE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THEIR PROBLEMS
Where is it stated that it is for complaining only? Who says we can't discuss how to get better? What's the point of complaining if you don't want to get better?>>267156
Did you reap any concrete benefits from whining and feeling pity for yourself? Or from obsessing over your suffering or others'? No? Then why do you stick to it?
>>267161>Did you reap any concrete benefits from whining and feeling pity for yourself? Or from obsessing over your suffering or others'?
Yup, quite a few. The simplest is that I enjoy doing it. I feel slightly better afterwards. It relieves stress. It's similar to how crying tears release endorphins, which help to numb emotional or physical pain. Do you not understand how emotions work or something? Ignoring pain doesn't just make it disappear. The only person being useless here and spreading misery is
>Who says we can't discuss how to get better?
You're not doing this at all. You're just victim blaming people and offering nothing of actual substance to anyone. "Just stop feeling bad bro" isn't practical or useful advice.
>>267165>Yup, quite a few. The simplest is that I enjoy doing it.
Oh at least you admit to being a feminine sissy who takes joy in playing the victim all the time.
I understand how emotions work certainly. I doubt you do on the other hand. Constantly rolling around in your dirt and filth won't make you happy, I wonder why most people aren't happy here if whining and feeling pity for yourself are all that takes to be happy? HMM.
Liberal meme phrase mostly used by wymen, are you sure you aren't supposed to be on tumblr?
I'll give you an advice. You don't help miserable people by saying that it is all right to feel pity for yourself all day. You help them by opening their eyes to reality. Which is usually done the tough way.
>>267177>feminine sissy who takes joy in playing the victim all the time.
Why do you think going around insulting people is going to be helpful to anyone? It doesn't make any sense. You just want excuses to be a dickhead.>Constantly rolling around in your dirt and filth won't make you happy
What will? Elaborate with practical advice or you're just wasting everyone time.>You help them by opening their eyes to reality. Which is usually done the tough way.
The reality – which is? That mental illness doesn't exist and that you can literally just will yourself to stop suffering with mind magic? Get real.
Fixing your problems and not masturbating to your self-pity is a good direction to take if you want to be happy.
>The reality – which is? That mental illness doesn't exist and that you can literally just will yourself to stop suffering with mind magic?
The reality that most of your problems are complete non-issues. The reality that life is too short to waste it on pointless pessimism. The reality that there is no value in being miserable.
>>267217>Fix your problems and never ever complain on the suicide general again wizzy you fat retard!>Huh? You're asking me how to fix your problems?>Just fix them and stop complaining you bastard! If you don't you're a tranny faggot and probably eat your own shit!
Guess how I know you have not suffered a single second of your life? Hell, relative to the blatant fact that you come here to laugh at and ridicule people in pain that sort of thing does not matter in the least. How about you just stop crying and trying to use people as your emotional tampons because you aren't kool enough for your schoolmates to talk with you, eh lad? Pick up your own fucking advice.
>>267217>Fixing your problems
Nooooooo, you don't say. I never considered that. Please, give us more of your brilliant insights.
>The reality that most of your problems are complete non-issues.
Lol, how would you know? Do you have my social security number as well? Step out of my life a little bit, sister.
I was going to, then I thought "if I am going to kms I might as well do something crazy for my perspective, let's see how far I can get" and I am here, moved away from home in July with some savings, got a job in August, I will stay here until I get fired or crazy, then I will walk away to see places
Only normalfags are able to go through with suicide. Wizards have lived in suffering all of our lives so there is no reason to.
I've decided to die by drowning
Since I don't have access to a gun, that would be the easiest way. I'm gonna jump into a river and drown myself since I don't know how to swim. Might do it this week. I'm already thinking about what to write in my suicide note.
Based and kaijipilled
A true wiz dies from complications of his genetic deformities, therefore suicide is not necessary
Most people here don't want to fix anything. That's the hard truth, they just want to whine endlessly. I know because I used to be like that too. I won't entertain your delusions about existence you cling to so much, I will give it you hard and as things are. Who cares if I sound harsh, your problem is that everyone treats you way too gently if anything.
The "depressed pessimist" who can only whine day and night is a product of modern society. In the past you people would have been forced to man up during some war, poverty, illness, natural disaster or conflict with your peers. I would be curious to see if you still posted on dep all day about how horrible life is if you had to wageslave 12 hours a day just to survive or if you were forced to fight an invading country. I guess not. Pessimism is a privilege of the spoiled.>>267335
This. You just get tougher after a certain amount of time naturally unless you consciously decide to be a crybaby all your life.
I work 10 hours a day and spend 2 hours on public transport, I've lived a life of poverty, never taught anything by my parents and I didn't even start showering until the age of 12. You wanna know why? It's because we didn't have any facility to shower with. I've had my roof collapse on top of my head while it's raining, spent 4 years without speaking to a single soul, not in real life or the net, tried to stab my father and kill myself at age 11, spent years treated as an actual retard by everybody around me despite being perfectly fine and had to struggle with social anxiety, and I can say as somebody who has really suffered, and now lives a life indistinguishable from that of a normalfag, on the outside at least, despite suffering from extreme trauma, can tell you that you're fucking retarded. The vast majority of people here have suffered extreme amounts, not "been spoiled". Unlike you I assume, seeing as how at your age you're still trying to take others down a peg by yelling at them because you feel bad about yourself or something.
Also, you're saying that people here "only whine all day and night" or "are crybabies"? What the fuck do you even know? God knows how many people come and post here every week, the suffering and whining isn't that of a single person but split among at least dozens. And in case you still can't tell whining occasionally about your horrendous life does not mean you aren't doing anything about it, you dumb fuck.
You think you know everything and are some epic stoic chad because you raped your mother and your father disinherited you or some shit, and that somehow makes you a cool sufferer macho, but all you do is yell at people and assume bullshit about them. Oh what's that, when I vomited out bullshit at them after assuming their entire life and cussing them out they proved me wrong by telling me their life was nothing like I said? That's fine, I'll just assume even more bullshit and vomit out more cusswords at them! When I was 8 years old, I didn't even know how to brush my teeth because nobody had taught me, when I was 16, I already knew everything required to act like an average normalfag, only lacked the retardation to be one. In that period of time nobody helped me in any way or shape, only ridiculed me and called me a subhuman. There were plenty of your kind screaming about shit they know jack about though, and guess what? I have not once benefited from any of you. Just fuck off and scramble off to some other site to sell your crap.
>>267374>whining bad>how do you do follow suicidals? i was like you too>just by urself brah >muh privilege
People like you deserve to be raped.
No one asked you, preachy faggot.
>>267374>Most people here don't want to fix anything.
Life is problem and suicide is solution
And if soul exists it should be suicided too.
And more self-pity, attention-whoring and engaging in the race for the most miserable life ever. If you put 1/10 of the effort you used to write this wall of text of complaining into trying to solve your problems then you'd be better off…Ah, but then you wouldn't have any reason to complain.
Did you expect I'd say wow wizzie, I never realized how cruel and hard life can be, thank you for opening my eyes? Everyone has their own problems and many even have worse lives than you and yet they don't end up as sour or bitter people who can only complain all day. Grow up. Feeling pity for yourself and masturbating to how much you suffered won't get you anywhere.>>267396
It's amazing how some people celebrate their misery so much and refuse to part ways with it.>>267397
Then come on, let's see you solve the problem. Live true to your words. Follow through instead of posting here about how suicide is the answer.
jfc, this guy seriously still whines about suicidal depressives ON FUCKING DEP for months. what a total faggot retard.
My whole point was that I solved all of my own problems, all the while complaining every single step, and lowlives like you screaming at others all day didn't help me in the process at all. You also bragged about how you're so toughened by your hard life conditions unlike all the people who disagree with you, who surely must just be losers who live easy lives unlike your badass self, and that therefore you have the "right" and the "knowledge" to tell others what to do, and mock them. The fact that I suffered far more than you, fixed myself up without benefitting in the least from your retarded logic, and am now telling you that your line of thought is braindead and has never helped anybody. My very presence proves your gay ass wrong.
You always tell others to fix their lives, how about you fix yours instead of spending all day telling others what to do on the net?
It's a spoiled early 20s rich kid who has his whole life handed to him. Of course he has no idea what suffering is. Normalfags love to come here to preach.
You whine an awful lot for someone who claims he has fixed all of his problems. Are you sure you are really all right? Just asking because you seem very upset.
Basic logic but content people don't complain. Just think about it.>You always tell others to fix their lives, how about you fix yours instead of spending all day telling others what to do on the net?
I'm not the one crying all day on some fringe website about how I hate existence.>>267405
Because suffering is your monopoly, right? Nobody can suffer but you. If everyone suffered to the same extent as you (the martyr of this universe) then everyone would be a killjoy like you too, right?
He’s that one moron pro-natalist piece of shit who makes retarded posts since summer. Don’t understand why mods don’t do their job and ban that retard intruder normal.
I had the loaded gun. It was too difficult. Back to suffering.
Because disagreeing with you isn't a violation of any rule.>>267485
If you really suffered then you'd have pulled it, no? You can go on living because you aren't on the bottom, yet.
I could make a couple educated guesses. I've been banned for calling him out when he spews his garbage all over dep. I don't even post much on dep, but it's obvious that the retard comes here and gets off on shitting on the clinically depressed and impotently attempts to excuse it by claiming that he's giving some nebulous form of advice. Draw your own conclusions as to why it's permitted.
More whining about how this site isn't your personal blog or hugbox and how the mods aren't your friends who ban everyone you disagree with. I see, I see.
A wizard is clearly specified in the rules as to what he is. Your personal obsessions and fixations have nothing to do with being a wizard. I can disagree with you on 99% of things and still I am a wizard just like you. There is no unifying principle or dogma about wizards besides what is stated in the rules.
The rules are the foundation but a community gets shaped by its people, that's why wizchan is not a crab board for example ao the rules are not the only things that defines a wizard
I've considered a gun as well. I'll admit though, my life is in a slightly less shitty place than it was a short while ago, so I'm in a sort of 'standby mode' mentally. At any rate, people have said that it helps to drink some alcohol before attempting.
I get banned for rule 5, something you've been violating for months. Most of the time, there is plainly nothing you're saying with any agreeable potential because you're vapidly shitting on depressives. If it were a matter of simple disagreement on an actual topic, I wouldn't care. You're right that you being a retard and having retard opinions isn't against the rules, but that's not the issue here.
If you don't like seeing people whine, then don't fucking post on dep and hide it from all, but you do like seeing people whine because you see it as some signal that enables you to proceed in satisfying your own emotional needs by shitting on those who are complaining about their lives (i.e. those using the board correctly). It's funny because you have accused others of getting their rocks off to the suicidal here, yet you constantly post "lol u wont do it fag"-tier garbage. Out of everyone who posts on dep, you're the best candidate for suicide.
We have rules against crabs, actually. They can't express their desire for sex or relationships. So that's again just a part of the rules.
There is no official wizchan community. We are a bunch of people from all over the world with barely anything to connect us. I hate to break it to you but we aren't a church, we are an anonymous image board only. Anything you come up with besides the rules is just your subjective opinion.>>267520
You probably get banned because you break the rules? I got banned several times too in the past for this and that. Unlike you I don't whine and patiently wait out my ban and then come back and continue to post here. I don't need to run behind conspiracy theories about the mods or anything.
And disagreeing with you isn't violating any rules at all. Just because I have different opinions from you or others here doesn't mean I can't post here. You will have to deal with it.>there is plainly nothing you're saying with any agreeable potential
You just want an echochamber or hugbox. A place where everyone thinks like you and nobody disagrees with you or calls you out on retarded things.
This board is about depression, but there is no rule to say that people here should just whine all day and that giving advice to others is forbidden. Again, I don't violate anything. If you don't like my posts just hide them or don't reply to me, take your own advice really.
Also, this belongs to /meta/. Don't derail the thread further, if you have a problem with me go cry on /meta/.
You have zero reading comprehension. Lie down on some railroad tracks, worthless.
Agreed, this guy can't comprehend what people write and doesn't even take a second to process it before answering in an arrogant pseudo intellectual way
It would be extremely painful.
What other cons are there? SN is extremely painful too even though you'll never read it on SS
First of all it's gonna burn like acid in your body when you chug down loads of hard liquor, then you're gonna feel very sick and most likely start puking uncontrollably. You're gonna be extremely drunk and you might end up doing something else, you might even change your mind because of how fucked up you're gonna feel since it will take its time and it won't be comfortable, think of everything spinning and feeling like crap while throwing up until it feels like your guts come out. You might even accidently stumble and get knocked out or something else like that, if you don't die from it theres also a chance that you will be retarded afterwards or otherwise physically ruined since it has a huge impact on your liver and brain. It's a slow death and not really a good idea to do on purpose.
2 words: Drop. Hanging.
Get it in your head.
We need a fucking sticky on this board telling people if they want to kill themselves the foolproof and completely possible no matter where you live method is drop-hanging. If you want to die that is the way to go. We have 50 retarded posts like this every month asking if some retarded way is gonna work. It's getting ridiculous.
just gonna reiterate that i think it's a shame that with so many bad, shitty people out there, so many suicidal people only kill themselves instead of taking out a few shitheads. if you're gonna kill yourself anyway, why not? oh well.
There's got to be a way to get feds to stop doing shit like this.
it's not illegal to talk about vague plans of murder, making specific threats when they are credible is what gets feds on you. it was just a general comment. everyone makes their last choices before they commit the final act, i think some people just don't understand how final suicide is.
Is the 12g really that easy? My Yuro cousin fucked it up and she was a vegatable for 20 years.
Don't tell me you view such things as something positive.
Pentobarbital is easier for me to get than domperidone (antiemetic). I don't want to choke on my vomit.
How to overdose on heroin
All you have to do is order it off a darknet market (Dread has discussion on good vendors and marketplaces). There are two ways to overdose on heroin, which include snorting pure white powder heroin and injecting pure white power heroin. For snorting, just use a straw and snort enough heroin or fentanyl powder to overdose (this usually takes around 5-10 minutes for the heroin to enter the bloodstream through the nasal cavity). If you're injecting, get a syringe needle, distilled water, a cigarette filter, a spoon and a lighter.
Since it's your first time, OD'ing on heroin is quite easy, as the heroin and synthetic "heroin" (fentanyl) you find on the marketplaces is quite pure.
For injecting heroin, put distilled water onto the spoon, then add your heroin. Heat up and stir the mixture until the heroin is fully dissolved in the distilled water.
Next you put the disassembled (the part of the filter that looks like white cotton) cigarette filter in the middle of the spoon, then you fill up the syringe by placing the needle in the middle of the filter and sucking up all of the mixture. Next you make sure there isn't any air in the syringe by slightly squirting some of the heroin out.
What you do next is apply a tourniquet around your upper arm to make your veins bulge out. Once you find a suitable vein, insert the needle carefully until you think it's fully inside of a vein. To make sure it's in a vein, you can pull on the syringe pump to withdraw some blood from your vein. If there's no blood, that means you're not in a vein.
So that's how you successfully snort or shoot up heroin and possibly OD if you choose. People have described OD'ing on heroin as one of their most pleasurable moments of their life up until they're unconscious. They describe losing consciousness as "going to sleep", just like you would go to sleep at night, but in one last euphoric haze.
The only way to survive an OD is if someone finds you and administers you narcan. Death can occur as little as 5 minutes after injecting.
I've come to the conclusion that if I don't make it within 5 years investing my 6 figures I made investing, that I'm going to kill myself via a heroin overdose.
If within that 5 years I'm able to acquire enough capital to invest in a high dividend index fund and then retire, I will stay alive.
I don't want to wage anymore.
noooo dont kys, ur so sexy haha
I honestly don't know. When I was younger, I sabotaged my life so that one day I would have no choice but to kill myself and now I'm sitting here trying to figure out how to unfuck my life. I don't wanna die, to be honest I'm too much of a pussy to rope myself and it feels wrong to an hero after all the bullshit and humilliations I've suffered for years. I wanna be happy for once in my life, even if it's for a short time. I wanna be that guy that makes the comeback even if all odds are against him, I'm well aware that this might be just a cope, but I wanna give it a try. I wanna try to fix the damage I caused to myself by being a negative, self-loathing bitch for many years.
>>267936>you have A LOT of time to go back midway trough
that's a bad thing retard
retard? you mean im stronger than the common man,and a low-inhib badass ?
you'd be better off drowning or some shit like that but if you can pull of fasting to death I guess go for it what the fuck
no no,its not a mere "i guess" and "go for"(it)
i am preaching the goodness of fasting. its a marvelous trip to the Great Beyond>specially if coupled with sleep deprivation!
Make sure you aren't too fat. Fatties can do many many days without food. 289 is the record I believe. I've even rolled 72 hours fasts before personally while also lifting for hours on end each day when I've really been trying to get exotically lean. A healthy person will definitely not be going into a terminal euphoria after 3 days.
If you already look like a holocaust victim, this may be the right path for you. Also, make sure you are getting electrolytes (salt, magnesium, potassium) while fasting or you will feel like shit. I usually mix an additive powder into my water and drink it slowly throughout the day.
Do that and take your "snake juice" so you can keep doing it until you are near death's door. You don't want the pain that comes from having near zero salt in your bloodstream.
>>267947>289 is the record
It should be something like that, yeah. those fatties took supplements so that they don't drop dead, though.>>267936
If you also steadily drop your water consumption while doing this you will also have a corpse that will remain for like a thousand years or so. I'd like to say what the term for it was or the wiki page but I can't remember.
youre referring to sokushinbutsu
However,additional steps must be taken for that(which I WOULD like to take!)
namely using anti bacterials,moisture ,etc. and some post portem treatments were done to the buddhist mummmies
My stack, idea before death would>diuretics, purgatives,laxatives. then baths of salt, hours of sauna and small room packed full of incencse sticks and candles.
I would do this one week before death. i guess.
Suicide by drowning…
How terrible is it?
My suicidal wizzas, if y'all really want to die, just go the old fashioned way and rope yourselves. It's cheap, practical and has a high chance of death, unless some normalfag hears you and comes to save you in time. Just make sure to do it when you're alone and don't forget to buy a rope of decent quality that can stand the weight of your body.
Since I am afraid of killing myself I've thought to disguise my suicide as an adventure and allow fate take it's course. I've thought to buy a small motorized boat and to sail it out as far away from land as possible under the night sky and than to allow waves to capsize the boat. The more I think about this the more I realise something could go wrong, like I am rescued or drift till I find land or I am capsized and I keep hold of the boat or I am not capsized and instead starve or freeze to death.
But the idea is still the most appealing to me, It's not suicide it's just doing something brilliantly stupid.
And then you'll find yourself in Saratov wondering what the actual fuck has happened.
Okay, I think I will drown myself in the pool, I have a barbell which I can half submerge and have the other half sitting on a pool step, I can then place my head under the bar and roll the weight of the step having it drop trapping my head underneath.
Anything I should ingest before hand to make it easier? It doesn't seem so bad… just to struggle for a few minutes is preferable to this life time of struggle….
Why would someone who is disposing of themselves by fasting also drink water? You mentioned only depriving yourself of food. But I have read that someone without food or water can die within 3-8 days.
I have been without food or water for 4 days before but I did not die, unfortunately.
I am on my third day without food or water now and I think that I might continue till my body succumbs.
I feel happy and I am unafraid of death I am giddy with excitement to die! I have so had enough!!!
I only need to think of the immense mental anguish I have felt in the past few years and estrangement I have felt for living all my life and the intensity I have felt in the pasts few weeks and my resolve to die strengthens and any thought of affirming life is obliterated.
I am so happy!
I wanna die but i don't have the means to do so
dude exit bag is under 20-50 dollars
If the pain in my ballsack does not subside by mid february I'll definitely kill myself. I really hope I won't have to do it.
What are my chances with a .22? is it strong enough to pierce my skull or it will turn me into a retard?
75-25 success-failure, have you considered a cheap, simple and effective exit bag?
Statistically, .22LR is the most fatal cartridge produced. Though that's mainly a result of its accessibility. Yes, from a 6" barrel, a standard weight, round nose, supersonic .22LR will penetrate the skull, and continue on through the brain, wrecking havoc as it tumbles and bounces around. There's an old adage that "A .22 enters the head then bounces around within several times, causing more damage than it would if it had exited the skull".
Here's a video on the subject, though not lindy it still clarifies some things about rimfire.
As always, suicide depends more on your preperation than your method. Take OTC blood thinners, drink much alcohol, be where no normals look, and consider combining another method with the bullet such as shooting yourself while over a tall ledge or in deep water.
i work night shift at a job that is situated right next to a river
it's winter so the water gets very cold
how long would it take me to pass out if i stripped naked and jumped in the river? i don't know how to swim so even if regret and survival instinct were to kick in i would be trapped
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The skull isn't a ping pong paddle LMAO
No bullet is going to bounce around within a skullLMAO