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 No.265448[Last 50 Posts]

A good portion of us are drug addicts and alcoholics. But no one talks about that. We know our habit is a big portion of our life, but we never talk about that here.

Let's talk about it here.

This has become my main substance of use. I started collecting the vials some months ago. I've probably trashed like 50 vials (over a few months) before I started collecting them.

I got something in my system as much time as I can every single day, I just do it in a sustainable and non-lethal way now. My immediate health has actually considerably improved. I'd prefer I wasn't using, but I love using so much and life just sucks, I can't bear being sober.


Drugs sucks.


Drugs are shit.


Drugs and alcohol are positive for wizards. Whatever problem we have, there's a drug for that. Just use them wisely while having fun. Not complicated.


I wish I were a drug addict. It would be a lot faster to fix.
The only “substance” I abuse is food.


Drugs are for normalfags. You can't get them without social connections and if you're too uncool the drug dealer will refuse to sell to you.


I agree with these. Drugs will cure my misery and even help me to end my life. I wish I had fentanyl or something.


You don't have to jump straight to fent. Very likely you can get oral opioids easier and realistically. Fent is largely an US phenomenom, not to imply it only exists in US.


>Underage kid that doesnt know the darknet has been delivering for 10 years


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First I got addicted to ephedrine, then kratom, dxm (sent to the psycward twice), methylphenidate, and now just benzos, thc, and nicotine. I would love to buy some coke or ket, and allow myself some more serious addictions, but no friends or job is limiting. May enjoy some shrooms on my october birthday :).


as someone who likes taking cold showers, i've never heard the alertness angle.

i do it for stress conditioning, and hedonic sculpting. if u enjoy painful things, it makes baseline more enjoyable


I drank a significant amount from when I was 21 to a couple months ago. I felt invincible the whole time. No headaches, no hangovers, no withdraw. Even when I started getting really sick from drinking, I still could just not drink for awhile after, experiencing no shaking or incredible urge. Multiple hospital visits after, and I finally stopped.

I'm not exactly sober, though. I live in Texas, and diet weed is now legal here. I can just walk into a store and buy stuff, just like I did liquor. It's much more convenient than booze, but not as effective and more expensive. I was buying liters of 100 proof whisky for less than $20, and I'm such a cheap ass that I actually liked the taste. I hope real weed becomes legal so the price and quality improve.


I have a limit I put on myself for how much stimulant I am allowed in one day and i keep hitting the goddamn fucking limit. I'm going to be an addict. I can feel it.


You already are an addict, using every day. If you are talking about stimulants harder than caffeine, you were addicted when you considered use


You are confused to what "addict" means. It's ok, a lot of people don't get it.


no its apart of my identity


I drink too much. It's a cathartic release of stress and I need a whole fifth of vodka or rum to get there all the way. I think I am alcoholic and on thin ice with my schizoaffective and it's creepy that people think it's a problem… The drink makes me emotive, more unhinged and more happy. I get up for it and family just thinks I need help. What a strange, wonderful drug it is.


Is that GHB?

I'm not sure if that's GHB you posted a photo of, but if it is then I guess I can contribute. I used to be completely addicted to it. Specifically GBL, but GBL breaks down to GHB in your body. I'd dose no less than every 2 hours, around 40ml a day. I still remember the taste of it and the way it would burn. I'd carry around a vial of it at all times, I didn't even bother measuring it towards the end, just sipped a few ml each time. I have overdosed on this drug probably over 100 times, 3 times resulting in me being rushed to hospital and then revived.

The second time I was hospitalised was when I was physically addicted to it. Upon waking, I told the nurse immediately that I was about to go into severe withdrawal and I spent the next 3 weeks detoxing off it in hospital. GHB has such a short halflife that you will start to withdraw from it after 4 hours or so of not using it. Even though they pumped me full of benzos (which I was also addicted to, a terrible idea considering their cross tolerance with GHB) the hallucinations and psychosis were unlike anything I have ever experienced before. I was convinced the police were coming to arrest me for a crime I hadn't committed, and then I managed to convince the nurse to allow me to leave the ward. I tried to leave the hospital using the staircase but the door at the bottom was locked. I went up to the next floor and headbutted a window, which smashed, then I looked out ready to jump. Thankfully I still had the faculties not to, and I called my mum asking her to bring me a mattress for me to jump onto in order to break the fall (lol). She rushed to hospital where they got ahold of me, and at this point I'm unsure what happened except apparently I was having a full conversation with people who weren't even there.

I haven't used it for almost 2 years. Never again. This is not supposed to be an anti-GHB post or anything by the way, it can be used safely and the vast majority of users don't get physically addicted – you basically have to be an idiot to get hooked on G. The strangest thing is that I never crave it, even though I still get alcohol cravings, other drugs too, but weirdly the one that enslaved me the most doesn't tempt me at all. It just feels like that chapter of my life is closed.


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I wanna try heroin


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Addicted to alcohol and codeine. Both are shit drugs but I have accessability issues and lack of finances to get anything better. It makes life a little more bareable when you can get a little kick some nights. Helps with the insomnia too. Would really prefer to try some heroin but I hear its a death sentence drug.


Sure, do it. Enjoy the witdrawals tho. I had to go cold turkey after 6 months of daily use because I ran out of money. Was in a constant panic attack for 7 days without sleep while sweating nonstop.


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Used to be an alcoholic because that's the only drug I could get. Now I just occasionally smoke cigs and drink coffee, weed gives me massive panic attacks and every other drug I've tried I either didn't enjoy or couldn't get consistently. I wish heroin was legal so I could have something to look forward to, but it looks like I'm just going to have to live with the occasional cigarette until I know someone to sell to me.


I dont need your normie-lly phrased permission


is it true alcoholics recognize each other even while sober if they come across each other?


i think i WANT to become an alcoholic;a lover and taster of different boozes,beers,spirits. But I would absolutely dread gettin fat.
how do I start appreciating alcohols and the state they induce?


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heroin sucks the only reason people do it all the time is because opioids in general reprogram the brain to require them in order to feel normal/comfortable

theres very little actual "heroin" coming into the street markets of the america and so fentanyl is being substituted which is extremely dangerous since without any tolerance taking even a small amount can be fatal without someone next to you with some hits of narcan

you can't miss what you never had but somehow thats how your post reads


i abuse pot. yes its possible to abuse. if i dont have pot i become irritable and grumpy for days. weed basically stole my soul is how i see it.


same, i'm abusing as i type this. I can't believe I let this retard drug take control over my life for the past year, life always gives me problem and I rather drift away high from the world.


>even while sober if they come across each other?
Yes, I can tell other severe alcoholics just by looking at them, even if the person is sober.

It's a mix of having our specific body language, small details (like staring way longer at someone in the eyes, menacing grin, carelessness, fearless behavior, etc), or the way we interact with groups.

If there's a big group of people, and there a single man that's detached from the rest of the group, exhibiting defiant, secretive and anti-social behavior, that person is very likely a heavy drinker or a drug user.


>If there's a big group of people, and there a single man that's detached from the rest of the group, exhibiting defiant, secretive and anti-social behavior, that person is very likely a heavy drinker or a drug user.

This post has described me so well, and the rest of your post. Have you read about this elsewhere or just your own observations? Everywhere I look on normie media concerning 'alcohol and aloneness' just brings up how not drinking alcohol makes them feel like a loner. Never the opposite


I miss LSD. Did a lot of it during the summer. It is not for the depressed, had several hellish experiences, like being in Silent Hill's Otherworld. Had fun too, seeing all manner of shit, like goblin faces looking at me from the trees, spiders and ants made from clouds walking on the sky, smiling Buddhas and radiant faces on the walls. And videogames were so enjoyable. Played through Yakuza series while on LSD and it was unforgettable experience. I wish I could get some more, but getting it through mail is risky and also I'm broke.


Now that I am wage slave, alcohol is my relief each weekend. I get drunk every Saturday night alone at home while browsing and reading shit on my computer. Scotch is my main drink but I also enjoy tequila and rum. This weekend I'm trying gin for the first time and it is not bad, it is something different to your traditional spirit drink though. I enjoy how drunkenness alters my sense of time and makes me feel relaxed and comfy overall.


I'm addicted to weed. The only appreciable negative effects are the high cost (~6k per year for me) and dry mouth which can lead to cavities. Otherwise it is an effective antidepressant, moreso than the pills they produce. It's because it causes euphoria. Euphoria is the key to antidepressant properties in drugs. Any antidepressant that doesn't have euphoric properties (which is pretty much all of them) are shit that either don't work or make you crazy. I know because I took many many different types of antidepressant pills over a period of about 10 years.

Euphoria gets rid of anhedonia meaning I can feel pleasure again which is huge. The thought of going back to living without weed makes me want to kill myself. The last time I was without weed for an extended period of time I was contemplating suicide every single day. Then I tried some weed again and the thoughts of suicide went away and I kept using weed and they never came back almost like magic. Yes, this means I am dependent on weed and am addicted to it. So fucking what. If I could fix my depression and not have to be dependent on weed I would do it and then just use weed every once and a while as a treat like normal people, but I can't even after doing all the steps they tell you to do getting all the treatments from modern healthcare in the most reputable institutions in the world. They have no idea how to treat mental illness.


Same boat wiz.


I've been addicted to Benzedrex for years. Recently I actually had a whole month clean from it and I thought I was cured, so I thought "I am better now so I can control myself and use it sparingly". So I bought another Benzedrex inhaler, you know, "just this once" and now I've been doing two inhalers a day for two weeks now. I've completely relapsed. I could have been free but I was a retard and decided I should keep putting allergy inhaler juices inside of my body.


drunk again, even though I promised I would not drink again…


I want to get drunk so bad. Taking reality raw is too much.


>drunk again, even though I promised I would not drink again
Easy pal, you broke your own promise. You recognize that. Nothing wrong with that, you are not perfect and other people are not perfect either. You can start not getting drunk tomorrow.

>Taking reality raw is too much
Get smashed then, do you have any immediate responsibilities? Is anyone forcing you not to drink?


A-hole has given me the fifteen minutes of fame and few hour enjoyment I never get in real life.

It has also caused me to broke several bones, cut a lip (left a ugly deformation) and has caused nightmarish withdrawals, but still I won't ever stop drinking.

Do I regret that I started drinking after being sober for five years? (I didn't stop because I thought I had problem: I had medication which didnt go well with it). I do, but I would still do it again, because I never were happy during that sober time either.


Only thing that I regret during this drinking phase (four years now) is that I started going to 'social events' ie. to bars and pubs at the beginning of it and wasted good two years talking useless bullshit to strangers and listening to shitty music, while I could have gotten drunk and enjoyed old video games and good music all that time, which I now do.

Another thing I now regret that I started using IRC (after 15 years of being not using) year and half ago and I still haven't quite cut this habit, which is exactly the same bullshit as going to bars and pubs, writing bullshit, that only makes me angry and sad acutely and especially afterwards.


And why irc especially? Because I can use it on just about any potato, thanks to command-line clients (irssi).

If there is channels where wizzies go, I'd like to hear about them.
But maybe not, after all…


Many bars are really the boomer version of /r9k/. You go to them and it's just a bunch of people with problems trying to cope with life. The aged foids there are the same sort of BPD roasties that infest that chan shithole, except now they're aged and burnt out in life, being so much more desperate for those crumbs of attention.

Discord has effectively replaced IRC, the wizzie circlejerk is all happening on there.


Only have enough kratom left for one dose, and not even a good dose, just a small dose to keep away the beginning of withdrawal.
Can't get any more until the store opens at 10AM and it's 2AM.
But I can't just go to sleep to fast forward in time because I'm also buzzing on Benzedrex and will probably be awake all night.

This isn't a big deal. But I'm so used to shoveling down kratom whenever I want, and I want to conserve this last little bit for the morning before I get to the store. I'm so used to just using as much as I want that it's frustrating to have to hold back. I'm not even in any withdrawal, I just keep feeling this nagging impulse to run over to my big kilo bag of shitty asian plant powder followed by swallowing a couple teaspoons of it.

My life revolves around drugs and they aren't even good drugs.


There are this many people on wizchan who drink? Pretty shocking. Refusal to drink alcohol is one of the strongest predictors of being a virgin at an unusually old age, so I would've thought it was rare here.


Weed makes me more paranoid and depressed, be glad it works on ur brain chemistry


what are those vials of?


My drugs of choice has been kratom and phenibut lately. Kratom was perfect for every day use, but it began making my hair fall out very bad after a while. Bald patches all over. Phenibut is good but can only use once every 4 - 7 days to avoid the rebound effects. I used o-dsmt briefly this year. It was by far the most effective, it made me euphoric all day and give no fucks, made work 10x more tolerable and also made me more pleasant to my coworkers and customers, sadly o-dsmt addiction is seriously unsustainable, within only 1.5month of use I went from needing only 45mg to needing 110mg. If used every day or even every other day you would quickly need massive amounts to maintain the effects. Also the withdrawals are quite hellish.

Kratom is not half as effective or reliable seeing as how some days it doesnt even do anything, but it is much safer long term as far as I can tell. I used kratom for 6yrs and only side effect so far is my hair falling out.


>This post has described me so well, and the rest of your post. Have you read about this elsewhere or just your own observations?

I have studied this for years on and off, simply for fun. Also, my personal experience and knowing other local people that are similar to me has given me another perspective.

There is scientific, psychosocial, biological and philosophical correlations between substance abuse (including alcoholism), loneliness, mental health and anti-social/deviant/rebel behaviour. Like, there is a high correlation between adiction, being male, having a Cluster B personality disorder (actually diagnosed) and being a loner. For some reason, this people tend to be extremely independent and self-reliant, I still don't understand why.


>For some reason, this people tend to be extremely independent and self-reliant, I still don't understand why.

I tick all your boxes and have a diagnosis in Cluster B. For me it's seeing how druggies live and how they act that makes me hate people and want to be entirely self-reliant. You can't trust other people for ANYTHING they will sell out their own parents for a quick fix that's the mindset of the average goy


I've drank every day for 8 years. I can't believe how much pain there is to be had on earth. I don't have any friends. All I do is work and drink. I want this to end.


Kratom is one of those things that you think doesn’t affect your life that much until you stop taking it and realize years of your life are just gone. Really similar to SSRIs.


Being a drug addict and a wizard at the same time sucks. Imagine your body crave for drugs forces you to get out of your chair, go outside to an indifferent world full of hate and despair and somehow secure drugs, until you run out and then you're forced to go out and go on like that infinitely every single day. Remember you're an autistic wizard while you're having to pull insane stuff. You have to juggle dealers, police, family, annoying coworkers and doctors all at the same time all the fucking time.


Fake, no wizard would do that when you can just press a few buttons on your computer and drugs arrive in the mailbox


>press a few buttons on your computer and drugs arrive in the mailbox
That requires just as much in group knowledge as finding a dealer IRL.


no, you just use a search engine and read some pages.


>how do I find a dealer?
>just go outside and ask people


>comparing irl social activity and interpersonal relationship-building to clicking links with a mouse


No I'm saying your advice is so vague as to be useless.
>hey where's the train station?
>somewhere on the planet earth, you'll find it


>you can just press a few buttons on your computer and drugs arrive in the mailbox
Darknet is not easily available to everyone, specially not to people from countries that are not big or that have heavy regulation.

Doing drugs is not a group activity and does not require group interaction at all (even to acquire drugs). There's no "secret" group knowledge. Getting drugs is as easy as growing in a rough place and walking to your street corner. Or being around a relative that sells or uses. Or forging prescriptions. Or going doctor "shopping" (which can be completely free too, depending on your local healthcare).

You're wording it as if these activities can't be done completely alone and isolated from others and you're wrong. Using is not inherently a "party" activity.

>I'm saying your advice is so vague as to be useless
Not the person you're replying to. That advice actually works. It's not complicated. Just walk into a rough neighborhood and ask for a dealer, place or street, and you'll be redirected there within minutes (or mugged).

Getting drugs and dealers is not this CHAD thing that requires a network of contacts. We're in plain 2022 and the world has only gotten worse. Drugs are more readily available than ever, specially in the third-world. We've never had so many drug addicts alive at the same time, being an addict is no longer something exclusive of people that go out and "party".

Whether you want to believe it (or not), drug addiction is extremely common in people like us: lonely isolated men that voluntarily don't pursuit sex because they're too hooked on their habit and on attempting to permanently numb the pain of life.


You don’t have to tell me, I live in a state where I can buy my drugs of choice legally, and my sister can get me the ones that aren’t legal yet. But I used to live in a place where it was illegal and I was never able to find a dealer. I tried too, but I couldn’t figure out who to talk to or where.


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whats are the strongest psychiatric drugs with most potential as drugs,maybe if mixed with alcohol.
Xanax? Phenibut?


>whats are the strongest psychiatric drugs with most potential as drugs

Benzos by far, followed by amphetamines (adderall and ritalin, which are actually from different family of stimulants).

Getting a constant legal flow of benzos is not complicated, just convince a doctor that you have severe panic attacks, insomnia or benzo withdrawal and you'll be prescribed some.

Aim to get CLONAZEPAM or any long-duration benzo. Don't get shit like Xanax or Valium.

Benzo+opioid+alcohol is objectively the best high there is.


Junk food beats clonazepam imo, at least if it's greasy and crunchy like a pizza or good potato chips.

Alcohol and opioids give the 'strongest' high but it also fades in less than 1 hour.


>Junk food beats clonazepam

Not really. Binging on junk food is like cocaine. The dopamine euphoria only lasts while you're eating. Being full makes you feel bad, people don't notice it because they're like that most of the time.

Clonazepam is a guaranteed high that lasts many hours and you can just keep repeating it and upping your dose and your high. There's a "ceiling" for the high of junk food.

>Alcohol and opioids give the 'strongest' high but it also fades in less than 1 hour

Not really. The opioid high can potentially last a good 2 to 6 hours or more, specially if mixed with other downers. And there's an afterglow that lasts until the other day, even if you go to sleep 8 hours you still wake up mildly high.


> opioid high can potentially last a good 2 to 6 hours
?? if you eat a extended release oxycodone you will be high for like 12 hours if youre opiate intolerant.

not everything is your shitty street fent


I'm literally addicted to weed like a coke addict is addicted to cocaine. My mind is so used to THC that I have withdrawal symptoms even months after quitting, if I quit for a couple months I start to have dreams about buying weed in a hamster wheel type way, this happens every time after I quit and its driving me nuts but if I get into smoking again it always ends up in a very compulsive habit that costs me a shitload of money and brain cells.


dont start


Honestly if you can quit for a couple months that proves you’re not, I haven’t gone a couple days without weed in like 8 years


im so glad im not like this and cant relate at all, thats all i can say…


I'm only able to quit for some time because I always end up consuming it very excessively, I got my blood levels tested once and it was still very high after weeks of not smoking it. I think once it's out of my system completely these dreams and withdrawal symptoms start to hit because my mind craves for it again, it's like it needs to be my system. I also started smoking weed at around 12 so this might play an essential part in this.


drunk af now

when i am sober, i worry and obsess over tomorrow

when i am drunk, i do not obsess

i just float

what experience could come close to it?


You are coming in touch with the dao.


I think that is a very bad characterization, that not only fails
to capture sublime experience of the dao, but it encourages
negative habits that will inherently prevent it, as well.

Regardless of that take this, it's a nice Dao resource


People like Alan Watts and who ever else, pretending to be
Orientalist Meditation experts have done a good bit of deal in
exactly those ways. You can see it in Watts personal life, if it
were such a fruitful philosophy to live by, why did he die a
degenerates life, addicted to alcohol and alone. Or look at Jack
Kerouac, same kind of Lassez-Faire Spirtuality that lets you do
what ever you want to, and see how it worked out for him, and
anyone ever close to him.


i don't have a smartphone and i don't plan to buy one. phones are for normalfags and i only have one because you can't register anywhere without one.


I appreciate your link. That said many drugs can trigger euphoria and a loss of inhibitions, things that can help disconnect from their muddled minds.


For euphoria try this, you don't need drugs, just a few minutes a day. If you want to do it longer than 45 minutes, alternate it with short brisk walks to keep alert



I always wish I had access to "harder" stuff, but unfortunately as a social outcast you don't get many contacts on the streets. I'm especially interested in DMT related shit, I live with other people so I can't grow my own spores though, and have no other way of getting it.


dark net markets
you could also simply do an extraction at home using common cleaning chemicals and plant matter


I tried but I couldn’t force myself to say anything and the best “spiritual friend” I could come up with is my dog. I didn’t really feel anything. Any tips?


Bhante V has recommended thinking of the time you've interacted witha puppy or a baby if you have difficulty with the spiritual friend. Also, note that it is not a "speaking meditation" the wish on your spiritual friend is a feeling of intention and a sense of focus on the warmness in your chest. if your memory if a spirtual friend doesn't bring up any warmness in the chest (which is the main object of meditation), then you have gone astray. All that to say, the repetitive wishing langauge is not the meditation, rather the feeling of emotional warmth/joy and the wishing whilst focusing on the feeling. A dog is not a bad spiritual friend, but the best examples are same sex human adults that we find virtuous, admirable, pleasant-to-interact.

Good luck, hope to hear back from your practice.


I'm not a very good explainer, but I would recommend watching more videos from the TWIM dhamma sukha meditation center linked above, as well as reading some of their free (e-)books

Here's another view from the same organization from an older monk of the metta instructions. I used this one at first, so perhaps it's easier for beginners.


another powerful meditation, if you feel urged to speak, is just repeat small mantras. but i think this is a little head-fucky compared to the smooth, warm glow of getting high on loving kindness. just chant the three syllables of ohm and a beat for silence, do that for 10 minutes a day.

unlike drugs you dont notice the effects immediately, but after a few days of doing either of these for a few minutes a day you should be able to notice a shift in baseline perception, depending on which one you do


I think I officially relapsed to heavy use. I'm not using deadly drugs but I started arriving at work somewhat high every single day. I've started doing my routine habitual use the last hour before leaving work, not exclusively after work in a safe place. I've gone back to being high at least half the day every single day.

This is an insane feeling because things have actually been improving. Because I'm already somewhat high at work, I am extremely more willing to finish more tasks appropriately, than just rushing them to get home sooner to use more drugs. Basically, drug use is positive the way I am handling it.


Instead if drugs,have you tried the wim hof breathing technique?


I can't stop drinking. Everyday, for 8 years. I may as well just shoot myself. This is so brutal.


Dont shoot yourdelf buddie, try an exit bag instead.

No, but more seriously, I only drank daily and heavily for three years, but I found a lot of help in going to a 12 Step Program. May I ask how much you drink and the negative symptoms why you wanna quit? You can if you work at it, one minute one second one breathe of not taking another drink at a time. Also, don't be so black and white a little alcoholism is no reason to suicide. When you notice a craving, you can white knuckle your way or to any thing as we wait things go away. Good luck, being more sober in my own life was a great boon to my esteem and mental health.


>12 Step Program
that useless shit is evangelical proselytism
and don't go "no one ever preached to me there" - you just didn't notice


>is evangelical proselytism
12 step groups are not specifically evangelical, they are religious proselytism in general.

12 step programs themselves aren't the problem, people are the problem. Also, these programs exclusively attract mouth breathing cretins. Talking from experience.


Worked for me so not useless.

My problem drinking is about people in as so far that my unresolved traumas come from my treatment by people.


I've quit countless drugs cold turkey and drinking the same way. The 12 step fags would go "hurr durr you can't just willpower it!!!! you need support group!!!" but they're full of shit. You have to really truly want to quit though otherwise you'll kept doing it. But yeah, you can cold turkey off of just about anything. Good luck


can you cold turkey porn


I use the groups to remind me and help me know that I want to quit, if that makes sense


No because I get really horny and I need to cum at least 3 times a day.

Sometimes I don't even watch porn, I just jerk off to cum so I can get rid of the bad thoughts.


>the bad thoughts.
What are these thoughts and why are they bad? If they're sexual thoughts, then not only is cumming to them just letting them win, but it will only continue to make your brain associate the feeling of cumming with thinking those thoughts, so it will make those thoughts happen whenever it wants the cum chemicals released.


I'm drunk for the fifth night in a row on mostly beer. I want to chug spirits. A sort of complacent feeling of emptiness and slight lethargy takes place with the status quo of drinking. A sort of nauseous calm envelopes me for better or worse. Good for taking a nap… empty at worst with the marijuana in me too. I completely understand the hype and shindigs dig it but it's useless all alone and I hate it. Opiods are king, let social drugs reign on and do weed in solace.


>cumming to them just letting them win
bullshit. instead of fighting sexual thoughts all day every day and then letting out like 5% of my sexual energy i just get it all out once every couple of weeks so i dont have to deal with it anymore.


Absolutely. We have wet dreams for a reason ya know


So now I get withdrawals from a single 40 of steel reserve. Great.


its just dehydration, are you underage?


>So now I get withdrawals from a single 40 of steel reserve

A person with alcohol dependency has no hangover symptom from alcohol. Withdrawal symptoms would happen with the absence of alcohol.

If you feel instantly bad from drinking low amounts of alcohol, that could be a sign of organ damage/failure/something more severe.


> person with alcohol dependency has no hangover symptom from alcohol.
This is retarded, do you believe this? Are you underage? The hangover can often be a trigger for morning drinking for alcoholics.


I have relapsed back to heavy drug use, but I'm not using dealdly drugs, just THC edibles and low amounts of beer/wine.

I'm compulsively chasing a strong high that lasts; when it disappears, I instantly start preparing for the next high. So I've gone back to being extremely high for hours, this reminded me of being high on opiates+benzos+hard liquor which was my main high for years. The highs feel very similar, the THC high is obviously softer but very similar to an opiate high.

I've noticed I start getting scared because I relate being extremely high with overdoses, I've overdosed many times while being extremely high and it's a painful event. And this is starting to affect my enjoyment of being high, even though if I can't OD and die from THC.


>The hangover can often be a trigger for morning drinking for alcoholics
No, that sounds dumb, that means the person is getting a regular hang-over from the previous night.

Alcoholics never get hangover symptoms because they're permanently drinking, they have a more sustained amount of alcohol in their system, its half-life works differently, it takes many days to get alcohol out of their systems. Alcohol withdrawal symptoms set in many days after the last drink, not instantly the next day.

Getting hangover symptoms the day after you drank just means you're having a regular hang-ver, not a withdrawal.


you have no experience with aloholics


Anyone here do nootropics/supplements/experimenting on himself to create a supersoldier?
there was a guy on a certain imageboard who was going to inyect purified australian worm blood into his bloodstream to go superhuman. seriously.


I personally think All that stuff reeks of narcissism. Always liked drugs that took me out of reality who wants to be MORE aware of the flesh prison


I love nootropics but I ain't discussing this in a thread full of opiate addicts


>you have no experience with aloholics

Alcoholism and physical dependence are not the same thing, but they are deeply related. I doubt that most alcoholics have a physical dependence to alcohol.

Binge drinking is not the same as alcoholism either.


alcoholics will start drinking in the morning to stave off the hang over, dunno why you bring up that


when i go outside while drunk i think "wow this is the shit, i love this, love being drunk, its a protective shield"
whereas while im inside, i feel eh at best, and shit at worst

so i think i might be self medicating against some sort of anxiety


thats really nice, i have a lot of memories of going out in public drinking and losing a lot of stuff like my wallet or backpack


I've been drinking way more than I did a year ago. Last year, I'd drink solely on Fridays and Saturdays, occasionally a week day. However, now I drink Tuesdays + Thursday - Sunday until I black out. It feels nice to numb myself, although I have horrid nightmares and wake up every hour on the nights I don't drink. My grandfather is dying, and he's the only one I have left. Everyone else is either dead or evil. We don't have the best relationship, but I hope he knows I love him. I'd feel dreadfully ashamed if he walked into my room and saw the empty cans and bottles, but I feel like he'd understand


I'm starting to realize that doing drugs or drinking to avoid the "pain" is just bullshit and I'll tell you why.

Whenever I drink or take something cuz I feel like shit it doesn't help, just makes me feel tired and not euphoric at all. This is because ur mind is set to solve whatever is bothering you, pleasure comes after.

So the notion that drugs are for normalfags is pretty accurate, you HAVE to be in an ok or good mood to enjoy drugs, otherwise there's not point in them. But not everyone is the same so idk


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Motivation is an extremely complicated topic and so are drugs since they interact with each person differently depending on their geneology, the quality of the drug itself, timing & of course the good old placebo effect.

Booze is a known depressant and my least favorite common place psychoactive molecule. The list of negative aspects related to heavy drinking is extremely long so personally I avoid it if at all possible, but I do still enjoy a nice fancy bottle of madeira wine or really high end sake every once in awhile with a meal or special occasion.

My dad used to drink half a 1.7 liter of cheap whisky everyday for 50+ years and now despite being sober (he had to be put in a medically induced coma for 3 days his withdrawals were so bad/dangerous) his brain's grey matter is as hard as a rock. What I mean by this is that his neuroplasticity is basically nonexistent, it takes him over ten seconds sometimes to react to changes in his environment.

When it comes to weed there are so many different kinds of strain now it's hard to just say "I don't like weed" anymore since unlike booze where the only difference between types/brands is the flavor different strains of cannabis can have entirely different results in terms of how you feel. The three main categories of weed strains are Sativa (upper) Indica (downer) and hybrids (a bit of both). I try to only use sativa strains since often indica is jokingly referred to as (in-da-couch) because it makes you so tired and lazy.

The world of drugs is vast and the world of hard drugs is a vast hellscape so if you can live without abusing substances more power to you. It's impossible to miss what you never even knew existed so I highly recommend steering clear of heroin/recreational opiates in general because of the withdrawals. Most substances that cause endorphins to be released are highly addictive and you will always reach a plateau of diminishing returns where you stop even getting high and now simply use to try and feel "normal".

The biomechanics of withdrawal aren't rocket science and this post is already way too long so I encourage you to search google, erowid or 420chan for more answers.

>So the notion that drugs are for normalfags is pretty accurate

Spoilers, almost all earthly activities are designed for normalfags, if you are going to try and pilot your life by the principle of "if normans do it then I won't" you won't have any options in life or death since normans off themselves all the time over petty shit.

I could go on for another 20+ paragraphs but im gonna just end it here, if you want any clarification feel free to ask and if I made any mistakes my bad i'm not proofreading all that shit


I take back my point regarding normalfags and their love for drugs but every stereotype has it's truth so I guess there is truth to that.

Drugs are nice only if ur in the mood for them, there's not meaning in forcing it to yourself when ur not feeling it, this was my original point


>you HAVE to be in an ok or good mood to enjoy drug

It is true. Took acid while feeling depressed once. It was hellish experience. Demons in the darkness, the loneliest I've ever felt. At least you can distract yourself with something in a normal state, but when tripping, there is only the trip.
Hell, acid is just one example. Same with speed or other stimulants. It gives your brain more energy to torment you with negativity. Even shit like caffeine and nicotine are catalysts for pain if you feel anxious or depressed.


Not him, but at least with either alcohol or weed, I don't understand needing to "be in the mood" for it to be enjoyable. Could you help me understand exactly what you mean by that?
I obviously don't intent to be intoxicated indefinitely, and I certainly can't use a car after slamming shots, but there is nothing worse than being sober. Even heavy consumption of alcohol from the time I was 21 to 25 (heavy consumption being drunk nearly every day with 100 proof whiskey (running a 750ml dry in two days with a BMI less than 17) or high ABV craft beers) ended almost as abruptly as it had begun, and switching to exclusively weed did not manifest negatively much at all. I only really stopped because every shot felt like a punch to the gut, literally, but that was from clear abuse. If I had simply kept it under control, alcohol would still be goldwater to me.

Of course, I both drank and smoke alone in my room, enhancing only solitary activities, never speaking to anyone. I despise being around other people that are either drunk or high themselves because of how they act.


I've had bad mental experiences with LSD, shrooms and similar substances. All of them were when alone and with quite large doses (+600μg of acid and +10g of shrooms). However, most times I generally enjoyed until the seventh or eighth hour and the aftermath. It stopped me from sleeping for a day afterward each time, when that was what I wanted the most. Even the bad times it wasn't torturous the entire duration. Always found something to finally move my attention away from negative feelings, typically something like soft music or funny videos.
Probably can't help if the visual hallucinations are too strong for you. I'm a very cynical person so I'd like to think I can relate to your experiences, but maybe ours are too different.



I don't say I didn't enjoy it. It gave me the brightest moments of my life, but also the most horrible, too. Peaking usually was the most terrifying part. To stand face to face with God, to be unable to escape his watchful eye, that is not something you want to do when depressed, that is for sure. But aside from peaking, other parts of trip usually were alright, everything I saw, smelled, heard or touched seemed fresh and cool.
The point is, drugs are good to intensify or give another perspective on life, but as a means of escape depression they are awful. All bad trips I had were because I felt not so good before taking acid. All good ones were because I felt great.


Never been in a situation where I actually literally legitimately had absolutely no money. For the past few months I've dug up every single penny in my entire house and car, literally, there's not a single cent left. My credit cards cut me off a long time ago.

The only drug I'm addicted to is kratom, it's not supposed to be a big deal, people aren't supposed to be able to get hooked this hard on kratom. If I just had eleven bucks I'd be able to at least go to the nearest gas station and buy a one ounce pouch of shitty kratom, which lasts me about 24 hours if I'm stingy with it.
But now I'm finally at a point where I can't even get eleven dollars.

The sun is going down; in the morning I'm going to wake up with the "restless legs" that I can't alleviate even by running a 5k or by taking a hot shower. I'm going to be yawning two or three times every single minute. I'm going to be sneezing and coughing and sniffling and dripping snot and tears everywhere. Everything is going to be aching and every moment will be suicidal thoughts.

My mom has old hydrocodones, morphine pills, and oxycodone pills lying around. I've been in kratom withdrawal before and I have stolen these kinds of pills from her and used them to try and get some relief but they DON'T FUCKING HELP. Usually if I try hydrocodones or oxycodone pills I'll take a few because, like, they're supposed to be the big-boy drugs that people get addicted to, and then they use kratom to get through the withdrawal of those big boy drugs. And I'll usually feel a small amount of relief from one or two symptoms. I remember once taking like 25mg of hydrocodone and it made my legs less jittery for like two hours. None of the other kratom withdrawal symptoms got any better and it wasn't long before my legs were going insane again.

And no one online even fucking believes me. Because kratom is "non addictive" or apparently has no withdrawal symptoms or is no worse than "coffee withdrawal". What the fuck do I do what am I supposed to fucking do?
At worst, usually I could think things like "well at least in the morning I can gather up a bunch of loose change or forge my mom's signature to cash one of her checks". And those little rays of hope could get me through the night. But none of that is even an option now. I have nothing. I have NOTHING. I have no access to money, things to sell for money, people to lend me money, I have never had connections for "real" drugs.


Do you experience sudden wants of that drug while trying to slowly leave it?
I mean, if it is an actual drug you won't be able to leave it in a sudden… every two weeks, trying to reduce the dose bit by bit…

you surely do not know well about the aging effects of this drug, do you?


I feel you. Recently I spend a week with zero money, hunger was unbearable. Stay strong wizard.
I have been interested in trying Kratom for a while now. How would you describe its effect?


I've gotten drunk alone every day for the past 8 years. When will I get tired of this.



weedists get btfod


non benzo taker detected

btw who know what happened to 420chan? that used to be my main drug asking site


>Not him, but at least with either alcohol or weed, I don't understand needing to "be in the mood" for it to be enjoyable. Could you help me understand exactly what you mean by that?

Alcohol often times makes me feel even more depressed or angry if im already in a shit mood.

Weed simply makes me feel tired and paranoid on top of that, literally 90% of the time so I just don't smoke anymore. When my life was more in "order" and I was more normalfaggy and hopeful weed used to work much better, which is an interesting obesrvation.


Does anyone have tips on getting heroin? I live near a ghetto. Obviously don't want to just ask someone. I want to be done with this life.


The alcohol isn't working anymore.


Alcoholics btfo


dude benzo are the shittiest fucking drugs worse than alcohol


walk through the ghetto and find people standing near stores and intersections seemingly doing nothing but holding there pockets, smoking weed and looking around
the trick is to be discrete, which means low voice and quickly just ask what you need for then if they say no walk on


Please recommend me a drug other than we or alcohol please God.


using the local slang will make you seem like less of a cop


Cocaine, meth, adderall, crack cocaine


Im pretty sure they call it "boy" or some gay shit where I'm at. Thanks


just buy it online, much safer than going out to a ghetto


if you do get some you should post about it I miss 420chans bump while high


I don't want to be looking over my shoulder, worries about my mom's door getting kicked in.


kill yourself


Gonna take a xannie and drink to death


you use a computer on the darkweb. you need TOR man you really must be underage


Tor works on phone, orbot


yes but phones are more unsafe for high-risk illegal activities because theyre full of apple/android spyware (or custom OS that's basically hobby project with barely a few developers working on it)


TOR is comp'd. The gov doesn't really care about drug addicts but the moment you start using this stuff (esp on a phone, holy fuck) you're on a list and getting backdoor'd



I feel hopeless as fuck. I know I haven't felt so empty in a long time. I think it's meth withdrawal. I also crave opiods now. I smoked a quarter gram of ice a week ago as a treat. An addict is what I am now. An addict staying on the straightened arrow is the only way I'll thrive. I will lay off it for my own good. Fiend mentality is your undoing. Nineteen pin to freedom.


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I know that feeling fren. I smoked Meth for the second time on NY. It's unfathomable just how addictive hard drugs are unless you've actually done it - they completely override your monkey brain and before you know it, you're just another addict. It's like being an animal nibbling at some food in a cage intending to leave before it locks you in, everyone thinks they'll just quit before then and use it as a treat, after all, what's wrong with feeling good right? Well everyone thinks that. Hard drugs like Meth and Heroin cheat god by giving you a feeling unachievable naturally and you pay with your soul.

I hope you know you're playing a very dangerous game here. Nobody listens to the homeless addict that warns people to never to it once but he's saying it for good reason. Us primitive humans were never meant to feel a month's worth of pleasure chemicals within an hour.


Those links have nothing to do with phones.

Obviously users of secure tooling needs to do the barest of research but in my opinion sharing those threads when they are not about phones, but about the TOR network itself, amounts to FUD.

Tor is compromised but less than many alternatives, being a target still requires them to expend more resources to exploit it, then many alternatives such as clear net, and VPN.


We aren't planning an insurrection, just buying dope.


Being a drug user is worse than being an insurrectionist.


Not to the cops in most wizardly locales


Cops don't give much of a shit about druggies.


unless you're an american in a red state and they can frisk you for all you've got before bashing your head in.


they do that for being black, Jamal, not for drugs.


They can do it for both reasons.


Cops (mostly) care about druggies being a public nuisance. They all know which homes are the heroin houses with 10 people semi-conscious inside, and they keep an eye on them, but they don't break them apart simply because they like knowing where they are. If they break apart the heroin-house, the users will be passed out on the street somewhere, or a house will start and it will take another two months for the cops to click on.

Even if you're having a schizo meth bender in your own home and the neighbors call the cops. The cops are likely just going to do a bullshit small wellness check and not take you in.


I'm gonna take a stab and guess you live in canada.


this is correct. Paired with cellphone metadata they can easily map a dealer's entire network. The War on Drugs essentially never happened


You can't suffer while on drugs. I can't even do drugs because I'm schizophrenic. Most of my suffering comes from the fact that I can't do drugs anymore. I used to a pothead. Best period of my life.


I cannot stop drinking.
Every day for 8 years.
I got some mushrooms and want to explore microdosing.
Every night I'm wracked by mental torture and I use alcohol to sleep.
My body keeps going and I don't know why it bothers.


Sinclair method


Try kratom if u want to quit drinking. It made me stop being an alcoholic. I am addicted to kratom now but I think its probably less harmful although no one can say for sure yet.


I need drinks to get all rosy. Doing it right now. It's a sort of careless spoofed happiness. I feel free from dread. I have a few beers in the evening to let the stress roll off, it's part of my coping routine of the week. Nothing wrong with it. Sex is not involved, binge eating and spirits are. I feel the pleasant aura of carelessness on the night of alcohol, it gives way to lucid wakefulness and easy cognitive impairment and embarrassment in times of indulgence . Too much and you are needlessly impaired and devoid of thought, a gregariously pleased idiot. Better less, less is more. I need you to chug an 8% tall boy and just live a little, for the breach of barriers.


Who tames the lion now?
Who smoothes Jove’s wrinkles now?
Who is the reckless wight
That in the horrid middle
Of the deserted night
Doth play upon man’s brain,
As on a wanton fiddle,
The mad and magic strain,
The reeling, tripping sound,
To which the world goes round?
Sing heigh! ho! diddle!
And then say—
Love, quotha, Love? nay, nay!
It is a spirit fine
Of ale or ancient wine,
Lord Alcohol, the drunken fay,
Lord Alcohol alway!


Who maketh the pipe-clay man
Think all that nature can?
Who dares the gods to flout,
Lay fate beneath the table,
And maketh him stammer out
A thousand monstrous things,
For history a fable,
Dish-clouts for kings?
And sends the world along
Singing a ribald song
Of heigho! Babel?
Who, I pray—
Love, quotha, Love? nay, nay!
It is a spirit fine
Of ale or ancient wine,
Lord Alcohol, the drunken fay,
Lord Alcohol alway.


It seems my main and only contact disappeared, and I can't find how to communicate with this person. I'm extremely angry.

For the last months I've only been abusing cannabis edibles, they have immensely helped me not return to opioids and benzos. If this contact is gone, I might have to go back to opioids and benzos because I need a long-lasting high every day, and edibles were perfect for that. I extremely hate society. The only thing I enjoy is being high and alone, by myself. I can't even have that because weed is illegal here. Can't even use the darknet because I live in Central America, shipping shit and passing it through customs is complicated.


I quit jerking off, smoking cigs, and using kratom. I also quit drinking although I dont drink too often to begin with. I feel miserable. I'm barely eating, even after a full night of sleep I wake up exhausted. I feel 0 pleasure, 0 hope, 0 drive. I'm just an animated husk. Hopefully there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I stopped counting but I think I'm around the 2 week mark


i used to enjoy edibles a lot but now i feel anxious no matter how much i take. i remember how music used to sound 10x better when i got high, now it's only a little bit better than listening while sober. thc doesn't even make me horny anymore. i was never addicted and i took frequent breaks. shit sucks


Update: still feel absolutely miserable. I am honesty on the verge of mental breakdown I feel so low. I caved and drank last night, pretty much blacked out last thing I did was vomit twice then fall asleep. I feel like death



I stopped weed and cigarettes cold turkey some time ago after doing both very heavily and the first few weeks were really tough. I even punched holes into walls and destroyed stuff but it's worth it and its possible to do it. once you're through the withdrawal symptoms you will feel much better than before.


I quit weed 3 months ago and once again I'm feeling cravings after staying off for some time, this always happens after I try to quit for a couple months.

I literally crave weed in my sleep and when im dreaming the dream suddenly turns into something weed related which shows me how fucked my subconscious mind is. I wish i had never even got into weed in the first place but i started smoking weed on and off in my early teens and im worried that my brain is just used to it.


Weed helped me get over alcohol and cigs. Having a stigma about something that can break addictions is retarded.


It's just something else you get addicted to which is equally retarded


underage spotted, it's easy as fuck to get drugs. Like others have said the darknet is a possibility but literally just download snapchat, search some zoomer terms for weed and you'll see tons of accounts in your area run by 16 or 17 year olds selling drugs. Want more than they have to offer I guarantee they know someone that has it
Of course not advocating you do this but its easy as fuck
>inb4 "Honeypot!"


How am I supposed to not drink?
I'm 29, work, and go home.
I have no friends, and don't want any.
What else am I supposed to do?


when was the last time that claiming entrapment got anybody out of trouble.


>I'm 29
>I have no friends

You still didn't figure out that friendship doesn't exist in adulthood ?
I guess you are someone that was starved from friendship throughout his youth, and therefore this unquenched desire did not fade away once you became an adult.

I understand, in that regard we are quite alike (i'm 29, no frens ever too).

Once humans reach adulthood, all the social relations that matter are wife + kids + colleagues.
Nakamas, like in One Piece, are the realm of school and college.

>How am I supposed to not drink?

You should stop drinking because you are making a fleeting mirage your whole reason to live.
Take it easy wiz.


Here's a high profile case I remember due to it involving an autistic male, a vulnerable demographic that's often overlooked.



Autistic men always get taken advantage of by everyone because they lack the social intelligence to notice when someone is using them. Also truly no one cares about them either because they can't satisfy anyone's needs socially.


There's no need to be cared for. You lack battlemage mindset. How many mishaps must life give to you in order to activate your paranoia against the world?


Benzos. Xanax regularly, occasionally mixing with klonopin and lorazepam. Might add tianeptine, weed and modafinil. Pretty sure opioids are better though, so just go with that if u wanna take something.


Friendships in adulthood exist, but I would describe it as an investment companionship. The more you have invested, the more likely are moments that might be that "Anime magic". So the best prospects are relations from school. College is more the realm of ignorance. In school you are literally forced to spend time with specific people for a long time. And because you are young, you might be idealistic like people in your chinese cartoons - this is the foundation for later adult companionship: The good times you had back then. New good times in the present are hard to achieve - so the most I have in common with my "friend" is drinking. That's how adults make the magic. Fool themselves into temporary happyness, based on "insiders" from the past.


Rule 3 faggot


Thanks. I feel a bit more alive now. I guess maybe slightly more imagination. Or vaguely nostalgic and sort of pleasant sensations/memories from time to time. Feels like a certain depth of being that I'd lost is slowly resurfacing.


what about weed? im a weed addict but its the only drug i use. ifeel its taken over me aswell. i dont smoke in the day but i just think about getting home andgetting high.


I'm addicted to weed as well, started smoking at 15 and even if I manage to stay off it for some time it keeps haunting me back, every time I quit for some months I start to dream about weed in a very weird way, its always dreams about endlessly trying to buy weed and never reaching my goal which shows me how fucked my subconscious mind is. Currently managed to stay off for a couple months but im having dreams again and also start to think about it again through the day.

I wonder if it is possible to stay off it without having cravings at least occasionally, maybe if you manage to improve your life to the point where weed is not the one thing that gives you the best feeling in life. That other guy >>270469 really described it well, once you induce these good feeling in your brain with drugs you already sabotaged yourself.


I really crave some acid. The time I had and used it were the best times of my life. The worst too, but the ratio of bad trips vs good trips is drastically in the favor of the latter. I am gonna ramble a bit to shake off that craving.
I remember this one trip, which turned out to be a mystical experience, filled with contemplation and interesting thoughts. I realized that day that I am not and will never be like others, that some people are just naturally end up outside the giant monolith of humanity and trying to get inside of it is stupid and dangerous and can, at best, become a facade that is easy to crack. The monolith is solid, one solid form that can't be divided, all of those who exist inside of it exist as a whole, as a whole biological humanity, in which there is no such thing as individual. Individual exists only as a small rock chipped of the giant monolith. And the thing about this structure is that it is not capable of actions, only reactions. It exists to exist and anything that threatens its existence is met with silent fury.
One warm summer night spent in front of the gates of unknowable. Staring into the sky filled with trembling stars, watchful shimmering eyes. Eyes turned to faces, they laughed, and frowned, all while staring into the very essence of my being. Ahhh, acid…
Also videogames on acid were so good. It was like becoming a part of the game yourself, immersing completely. I played a lot of vidya while I was tripping regularly. Tried playing Silent Hill 2. It was very intense, but rather horrifying experience, wouldn't recommend, however, the idea of universes merging fits the acid trips rather well. Pathologic (original) was the shit though. It was made to be played while high on psychodelics, devs were avid users for sure.

I really regret that stupid decision to flush down the toilet two 200 ug tabs. I've done it after one careless bad trip, which ended up in a lot of mental pain. Set and setting is no joke, also taking phenibut beforehand while resulted in a lot of bodily pleasure, bit me in the ass hard. But flushing tabs was a very rash decision on my part.
Shame I can barely afford food now, otherwise I'd buy more acid and go full schizo.


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>I'm literally addicted to weed like a coke addict is addicted to cocaine

Same, BUT I can't smoke weed anymore. 5 years ago I snorted some shitty coke that made me go to the mental hospital for 15 days and I end up developing schizophrenia and now I can't smoke weed anymore. I tried smoking weed again but didn't experience any of the pleasurable sensations. It was pure anxiety and confusion. It fucking sucks. Weed was saving my life. I smoked for 1 year. I would wake up and smoke weed the whole day while listening to music or watching a movie. Now that I'm sober, nothing feels the same. Everything is boring. Music is boring. Movies are boring. Being sober fucking sucks. Tried other drugs like alcohol, it sucks. Tried benzos, they don't even work on me. Tried Kratom, felt nothing. If only I could get my hands on opioids… I don't even care if I develop an addiction. I wanna stop feeling like shit for at least some minutes. I wanna a respite from my shitty life. I have nothing to lose.

Man, all I needed to live was weed and I can't even have that now. I've been suicidal ever since.


>tried Kratom felt nothing

It could be a weak strain or a low dosage. I've ordered four strains to try them out, only one of them gave actually worked, sumatra green or something like that. Made body and mind feel lighter. Tolerance is a bitch though, after a week of daily usage I barely felt anything.


I abused opioids for years but never experienced withdrawals because im not a fucking retard. Tapering completely removes that issue


>I abused opioids for years but never experienced withdrawals because im not a fucking retard. Tapering completely removes that issue
Tapering off opioids is the correct choice, but doesn't eliminate withdrawal symptoms for all users. They're more tolerable vs quitting cold turkey.


I've done LSD a few times and it was great. It's my favorite drug but I didn't feel too introspective, it's a high IQ NEET drug that doesn't help you cope at all with life. It enhances life to a staggering degree kind of like the exact opposite of alcohol. I remember seeing cool fractals and shit everywhere but it's just a shitty pointless drug unless you're already happy and satisfied in life. I just wanted to go to sleep most of the way through most of the time anyway despite the effect of feeling more intelligent. As always, set and setting is everything.



>enhances life
That it does and there is nowhere to run from it once you are high. Life becomes either super good you feel eldritch levels of horror. I think you just needed a bit of preparation, meditating, just walking everyday on nature for a week or two. Preparing for it, lets say, cleaning your surroundings, not eating junk food, doing shit you need to do but was reluctant to, all of that decreases the chances of feeling like shit drastically.
>seeing cool fractals
What else did you see? What about hallucinations that had some form or objects that morphed into something?
I remember seeing ants in the clouds, just running through the sky while wiggling their antennas. Also very somber, brooding faces in the trees, kinda creepy. Also I saw Buddha for some reason


I've turned into a fiend again. That's hard to stomach. I just spent a whole day trying to be as much high as possible, I even woke up early just to be higher sooner. Had two using sessions.


alcoholic here. drinking right now. i hate life


Lol, 2 sessions. I became a fiend for weed years ago. I hit the pipe over and over every day so many times I lost count. If I do too much of it I can't sleep, at all, and yet I've been doing it anyway enough to cause me not to sleep. I don't like being like this, but I know that being sober is worse.

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