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/dep/ - Depression

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Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.

184 posts and 13 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


>he thinks he makes choices


i make many choices every day, and even meta-choices like new habits.


ur in crusty cum stained PJs

u got a messy room

a relative comes to visit spontaneously

ur palms get sweaty and ur distressed

ur relatives are dressed v cleanly and u never saw their place in a mess

they are so orderly and neat, it's like they control over their lives

meanwhile ur room is a mess, and so are your clothes

orderly, neat, good image, can be seen


disorderly, distressed in social situations, terrible image

ur door wasnt closed so they enter

"wiz, u got visitors, hehehe"

ur wiz head is going wiz bonkers

u strip ur cum PJs off and hurry to find clean clothes

at the same time, u dispose of piss bottles and cum tissues
but they already found their way to ur room

and they look at ur naked body, holding a piss jug with one hand, and cum tissues on the other

on ur computer screen theres loli hentai

now u can rest

its all good

u dont gotta prove urself no more

the truth is out there


Everyone in my small town knows that I'm a coomer. Everyone in my family knows and I have female cousins who hate me and they pretty much told the whole town about me. When I go outside I get stares and shit eating grins from everyone I come across. If there's such a thing as hell, it has to be living in a small town where everyone knows that you're a NEET coomer who spends the whole day jacking it off in his room.


u server a greater purpose in your town

they dont worry about their image as much, when you are around

"this is the bottom image, the worst man in wiz town. all eyes on him. none on me"

its how and why school bullying works

so think of yourself as some kind of wiz saint who saves everyone from anxiety, and have some proud faps


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You could embrace infamy, Diogenes style. Normalfaggots are kinda hypocrites anyway because even though everyone and the entire western culture are pretty much obsessed with sex, if you are a lone man who faps in your comfy room this is LE BAD for some reason.


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I’ve been contemplating suicide again. I’m not sure if it’s just cause I moved home and have to deal with my family or if I’m really just nearing the end of my tolerance. I’m just losing hope that my life will get any better. I’m applying to school and work a part time job, but it feels pointless. Jobs and education are just the busy work of life. I can’t even enjoy the other parts. I can’t tell if I hate everyone or if it’s just those immediately around me. I want a better life to be possible but when I look around at my colleagues and my own life it just seems like a lie. Everyone is stuck in a dead end job or unemployed, it’s impossible to make enough money to live by yourself. And if I have to live with others for the rest of my life then I just don’t think I could bear it. And I can hardly bear the company of myself.


Let's see what happens if you avoid negative emotions.

>when going across the street you don't stop and look to see if a car comes or not because you don't feel any fear (fear is bad!)

>when someone goes up to you and takes away your phone you don't do anything because anger bad
>when you are treated like shit you don't speak up because it's not good to be full of envy and should be happy for other people's success (even if they didn't deserve it)

Negative emotions are helping you to survive and are just as important as positive emotions. To avoid them at all cost would only make you a mindless sheep npc.
The whole healthy mental state meme is the same as the religious or platonic meme about caring for your soul or virtuous behavior above all. There is no healthy mental state, it's just about greedy doctors and priests trying to control you and to steal your money.

>if you are a lone man who faps in your comfy room this is LE BAD for some reason
The reason being that you won't make new white children for the race or you won't be a productive part of the system who wageslaves for the sake of his family. Normals are really just guilt tripping people with this porn/masturbation bad shilling.


Sure do wish I wasn't a retarded fucking nigger fighting an eternal war between his nonsensical instincts, the reality of life, and his own beliefs that he holds above all. If there's a thousand different paths of life a man can take in this world then at least 990 of them will do nothing but give me extreme pain because it breaks the careful balance, and my life is such a retarded fucking mess of spaghetti that I haven't done anything but smash that balance into pieces everyday for years now. I'm tired of feeling agony, I deserve it for going against my beliefs, but in the first place I had never wanted to go against them, and no matter how much I artificially prop myself up and force myself not to go against them it's fucking meaningless because Time Erodes All including my power of will, which leads me to repeating the same fucking mistakes thousands of times over for no gain. I just wish somebody would be kind enough to buy and donate me a fucking gun so I could be over with this shit already.


Reading these threads and seeing 90% of people not getting any reply really shows no one gives a fuck about anyone else. If you want people to listen to you complain you need to pay or be famous.


or make a thread lol


I don't know what to say. That sucks I hope you feel better? Do people want to be consoled or vindicated?


Plenty of us read all the posts, there’s just nothing to say most of the time. The thread has been this way for years.


caring about someone and engaging them are orthogonal. but I will tell you, NO ONE on an anonymous image board cares about you. At best, they tolerate and enjoy your attention.


I read all the posts, I just don't reply to most of it


In top of all the problems I have, I'm getting fat. Just kill me, please.


Just moved to another country and am feeling like I didnt do the right choice, one year ago this was my plan. Move to another country and suicide without a wallet. Not sure about this now…


I believe in you, wiz


That is such an easy problem to solve. Why would you even care about problems that are 100% within your capability to fix? The only ones I don't like are the things I can't do anything about by myself.


Go fuck yourself


Watched the movie Dances With Wolves (I also read the book some time ago). Why do some people feel the need to ruin everything? The white soldiers in the story just slaughtered animals for fun. "Hurr we have gunz boyz let's shoot everything lol" The death of Two Socks really hit me in the heart, generally all his scenes. I think this movie/book could have been perfect if the indian story-line was only a side story in the plot and it would have focused on Dunbar living alone with the animals, with his horse Cisco and Two Socks.

I posted this here and not elsewhere because I haven't been moved like this emotionally in a long while. I got teary eyed watching Two Socks play with Dunbar and almost cried at his death scene. The music was fantastic and the scenery was amazing in this movie.
Seriously, to hell with people like that who feel the need to torture or kill animals pointlessly. I'm not a vegetarian or anything like that but it always pisses me off when I see meaningless cruelty towards animals that behave in friendly ways. People like that are literal subhuman.


not him, but why?


I don't get it.


no one does


I care about a lot of posters, I just have nothing to offer them. It’s almost masochistic to still try and be a kind person online these days, but I assume there’s a few other depressed wizzies who commiserate with others here. I assume they are there silently when I post myself, and I hope people know even without replies there’s wizzies who read the posts and wish you well. Many people want to vent.

If people really wanted us to reply to every response we could, but I imagine most of us don’t have anything to say beyond - yeah I know how it feels.


Care is a type of non anonymous relationship based on giving.


When I hear normies talk about taking care of their mental health I can not understand. I have done nothing to take care of my mental health.
On the contrary I have sought out media that makes me feel worse, Amplifying my negative feelings to their pinnacle. And to do anything else, anything that would make me feel good about myself would feel like lying to myself.


You ever got into Chris morris's Blue Jam? Very bleak and funny sketch comedy. You might like it. Some of the sketches are very /dep/-tier


I'm giving in and trying meds. Got nothing to lose at this point.


brain damage will do ya some good


i see lil bacterias and micro beings on tv doing their thing
eating other things to stay alive

what drives them? what motivates them?
do they even have the capacity to wish for their end?

what does it mean for a human to wish for death

more intelligent = more likely to wish for own death?


Fingers crossed


I think if I had a gun I would not have survived this day.


For the same reason I find it difficult to kill myself is also the same reason I'm suicidal in the first place; perfectionism. What does the perfect suicide look like? How should I feel? What should I wear? How should I behaving leading up to it? What time of day is best?



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I hate my stupid fucking mouth that won't ever say what I want it to say.


Hate that my ugliness factors into my depression. I have this naive belief that if I was more handsome I wouldn't be so miserable. Really, it's not even that naive of a belief - objectively it's probably true, the question is just to what extent would it make a difference. I don't want it to be true, though. I want to believe that my dissatisfaction with life is more thorough, more substantial than just a simple dissatisfaction with my appearance. How pitiful would that be? It's embarrassing to even write out. So many reasons to hate life, so many ways to unduly suffer, so many examples of it on this very website. I *hate* that my ugliness factors into my depression.


You somehow remind me a guy from an anime, can't remember who exactly. Any ideas, wizards?



No. A guy who wanted to kill himself but never found a suitable way to do so.


Sounds like a Zetsubou Sensei episode


do you guys have anyone you can talk to about this shit? I’ve got to therapy before but I always clam up. I even got drunk last night and called my mom but I couldn’t even force the words out of my mouth. I just put on my normalfag face as usual and made brain dead small talk until I hung up. And shouting into the void here is worse.


Unironically AA or a twelve step program. Its simple, formulaic, and they encourage sharing as a form of community. Just go listen a few times to understand the format, and start sharing.

If you arent an alcoholic or drug addict, it might be less impactful but I remember liking it because the formula fit my autismo. Also every group is different, so try out all the local ones if you don't feel love at first.


Nope, all I do is scream into the void. I've got a tightly knit community where everybody has known eachother for 7-8 years that I scream into and occasionally they react to my sufferings, though most of the time it's just a soft ignore.
Sometimes I complain about very specific issues on here in a rational manner and get some replies.


Talking to my mum was a mistake. I could pour my heart out and she would respond with a definitive sounding easily memorized clichés like 'it's all in your head', 'it get's better' or 'it's just hormones'
She always behaved like she knew better than me and she would tell me the way I was feeling was not so bad because people have cancer or live in Africa or something.
Multiple times I said to her I wanted to go to a psychiatric ward as a teen she would tell me I was wrong. And I even started to believe in the things she said. But what I needed was constant care and assistance and a strategy for coping. When I told her I was suicidal she made it about herself "Why are you doing this to me" she said.
I think she took having a son who was depressed and suicidal as some kind of insult against her. She'd like to believe that she is the very best mother in world and she often told me as much while I was growing up as a kid. She was single parent she joined communities on facebook for single mothers where they would congratulate themselves on their strength. She also found reason to gloat about my Asperger's as well. And when I inevitably slaughter myself she too will make it about herself and she will enjoy the attention received. She will probably go to medium and try to disturb my ghost like she does with my nana.

The opportunity for being helped for my depression has long pasted I am irreparably damaged.

My advice would be to examine how thoughtful, loving and capable of understanding you believe your mother to be. For me I trusted mine deeply but in time I have only discovered how little I make of her. I feel like I've been nurtured by a overgrown toddler.

Also I feel déjà vu writing this. I guess I have mommy issues sorry to vent.


Not a head shrinker but
>The opportunity for being helped for my depression has long pasted I am irreparably damaged.
Sounds like a known cognitive distortion of rumination and black and white thinking. Recentlty I watched some show with a mob boss and he had an overbearing mom, and his head shrinker tell him how much power his mom has. He expressses disbelief.


i'm uneducated, braindead from years of isolation and depression, so i hope that my post makes sense
my father is as big of a narcissist as your mother is, starting from indoctrinating you into believe that they are great people only for you to reach adulthood and realize how mentally ill they really are, being dismissive of your terrible mental health to avoid taking blame, single parent that thought of himself as a hero even though he's the reason why my mother left in the first place (she's a terrible person as well), when i confront my father about these issues he would respond to me with "would you rather have been fucked in the ass in an orphanage?", when i tell him that i want to die he tells me "you're just like your mother" because my mother tried killing herself before (in front of me as well), or "you're possessed by the devil, just like your mother!", it's all about shifting the blame away from them
these people are mentally ill, they are legitimate narcissists, the word narcissist gets thrown around a lot nowadays but these fuckers are the real deal, them being mentally ill means that they are not fully responsible for their actions… despite that i can't help but hate him
i wish i was capable of splitting his head in two with an axe but i'm not a violent person by nature
i'm slowly making steps towards cutting off contact with my father entirely and never having to be subjected to having an imbecilic pointless conversation with him ever again, if i fail i'm killig myself, i can't stand the thought of being in contact with him for the rest of my life
there is nothing you can do to save these people from themselves, there is no way to have them understand the amount of irreversible damage that they've inflicted upon you, they're drowning in a pool and if you try to save them you'll only get dragged to the bottom along with them, so i suggest you cut yourself off from her


I kinda just hate myself.


Yeah brother I hate myself too


Reading Sneneca the younger on suicide is refreshing

>life has carried some men with the greatest rapidity to the harbour, the harbour they were bound to reach even if they tarried on the way, while others it has fretted and harassed. To such a life, as you are aware, one should not always cling. For mere living is not a good, but living well. Accordingly, the wise man will live as long as he ought, not as long as he can

>It is not a question of dying earlier or later, but of dying well or ill. And dying well means escape from the danger of living ill.


Thanks for sharing.
>13. Men are foolish who reflect thus: "One person will say that my conduct was not brave enough; another, that I was too headstrong; a third, that a particular kind of death would have betokened more spirit." What you should really reflect is: "I have under consideration a purpose with which the talk of men has no concern!" Your sole aim should be to escape from Fortune as speedily as possible; otherwise, there will be no lack of persons who will think ill of what you have done.

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