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 No.267760

Share your various traumatic experiences that still haunts you to this very day.

 No.267762

OP here: I'll start,
>Mom brings her best friend's son over to stay with us for "2 weeks" due to a nasty divorce
>He's a balding, 6'3 gigachad war vet
>At first he's ok but he gradually devolves into terrorizing and bullying all of us and especially me
>At one point, I'm watching TV and he rips out the cord and screams "SUCK MY BALLS" despite my family feeding and housing him for literally free for months
>Gets in my face and stares at me with murderous eyes
>I pussy out because I'm a long haired 5'8 skinny drug addict loser
>He finally grabs the remote and leaves

I know it's probably not very traumatic compared to most others in this place but I still think about this absolutely every single day months later.

 No.267763

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>>267761
What the fuck

 No.267765

>>267762
It’s insane how there are people that are homeless from actual misfortune, but the people that seek out a situation where they’re provided free housing outside of a shelter are fucking psychopaths. “Parasitic lifestyle” is part of the diagnostic criteria for antisocial disorders for a reason. People like that will treat people they’re totally financially dependent on worse than normal people would treat a rabid dog or their sworn enemy.
I had a similar situation for years with a family member. Chaos demons.

 No.267766

>>267765
Well he's now actually homeless sleeping in a van in some bushland so I can at least cope with that. You're exactly correct, some people are rabid dogs that cannot be helped.

 No.267769

My father would be particularly excitable when he was drunk, and he was drunk often. Mind you, he was (is) still very crazy sober.

Thankfully, I was only tormented by his presence during the summer and when I was young. When he would get violent, my stepmother and her children would just leave, and my brother would hide somewhere. I guess he decided that I would make a good teddy bear to bitch about his problems to. I would lie in bed for what felt like hours out of my mind on fear and adrenalin all while he slurred barely conscious curses at other people in my ear. Another time he was yelling at the whole family during a vacation. I guess he saw me amidst the crowd and decided that he'd rather do the teddy bear thing than yell anymore, so he just grabbed me and took me to his room, where I stayed until he fell asleep. I just crawled out of the bed and went back to the rest of the family, exhausted. I slept on a mattress with only a sheet because my stepmother had taken mine. No one in that family thought it was necessary to save me. I imagine they were just enjoying the peace and quiet.

My mother's family is certainly better by comparison, but if I'm being honest, my brain is so riddled with anxiety that I would have no idea if they are treating me well or not. Paranoia and relentless internal self-deprecation has only led me to never really know for sure. Even people I know I'm fine with, if they even look at me for longer than a glance, I want to vacate their line of site instantly. My life has only ever amounted to nervous excursions by necessity punctuated by the peace of not being seen. Being outside the line of sight and hearing of other people is the only time I can relax. Indeed, even the thought that someone can hear me or what I'm doing makes my hair stand up. Because if they can hear me, what could they be saying about me, in their heads? etc.

Ultimately, I don't actually know if I'm crazy. All of this could be an invention of my intense maladaptive daydreaming, and a damaged, anxious mind often lashes out do to self-interest. Can you really blame a starving man for stealing food? I can feel myself being dragged into a very frustrated and resentful place every moment I am around people. It grows and grows until hateful verbal leakage just spills everywhere. I'll likely be remembered to be just as crazy as my father.

 No.267770

>>267760
so you're not a virgin, take this clown outta here

 No.267771

>>267766
Truth. Glad you got him out. Once I finally kicked mine out, his next target apparently had a lower tolerance for demonic behavior and wound up getting driven into assaulting him within a few months. Unfortunately he survived, but it was nice to find out it wasn’t just me. They treat everyone like that.

 No.267772

>>267769
Man, “people” that use their kids as therapists and surrogate parents are a special kind of evil.

 No.267777

I was physically abused for more than a decade by my mentally ill mother, every single week. I still have nightmares.

Not only that, but my mother also encouraged other people to scream at me and hit me too, specially to my father.

 No.267780

self-abuse

 No.267791

>>267780
thats probably not the beginning of it, because self-abuse is a form of traumatic acting out

>>267777
quads indicate you need to move out wizzie

>>267762
a common theme of trauma is comparing it to the worst thing imaginable in an attempt to generate gratitude (I think?). Just try to get gratitude from a normal source, so you don't poison that well.

It's hard to feel abused knowing that some people have had it much worse than my relatively tame upbringing. Probably the hardest part is the low-level normalized hate and self hatred that I have to constantly notice and try to re-direct, or the pre-disposition to staying intoxicated for long periods, so I don't have to deal with the world view and feelings I've inherited. Just being raised by violent drunks, probably the best thing I've done is try to see things as a child, and people as children. It's hard to be angry at someone hurting you, if you see they have been a child. Pure cope, but, I guess it might help.

 No.268482

>>267765
>Parasitic lifestyle
fuck that would be me

now what?

 No.268485

>>268482
You have to practice seeing people as non-objects, and try to practice empathy as much as possible, as well as maintaining patience. But a harder question is why? If you want to stop being parasitic, stop, if you believe your parasitic lifestyle is evidence that your a psychopath, know a psychopath would likely just shrug it off, as "this is fine, and who I am" – so if you think "fuck I must be a psychobath and I don't want to be", a psychopath wouldnt care. More ego-dystonic personality disorders can seem similarly, like BPD, NPD

 No.268521

>>267777
You should ruin their lives.

 No.268523

>>267769
You should poisoned him with methyl alcohol.

 No.268536

i can't remember them anymore and that's a good thing.

 No.268560

>>268536
it can be a long term state, but i don't think its good. it can feel less painful than getting better (or worse) though

 No.268640

>>268485
> know a psychopath would likely just shrug it off, as "this is fine, and who I am"
You understand that the majority of users here are considering your posts as disguised flattery? They think being a psychopath is cool, you're only complimenting them and enabling predatory behavior (which btw is more normal than people would like to believe)

 No.268641

>>268560
true. sometimes i feel upset and i don't know why well actually it's probably because of my suppressed memory.

 No.268643

>>268640
very presumptuous of you to say what the majority of users here think. its what you think. one distuinguisting factor from npd/aspd and bpd is the ego reinforcing aspect, so i dont really care how maladjusted crab worshiping teens take it. they should go 'touch grass'.

 No.268650

>>268643
I have too much experience with people to ignore their common behaviors. I'm not trying to be le ironic psychopath here either. I have a huge disagreement with modern psychology and the general public's interpretation of their diagnosistic criterias. All these acronyms you used "npd, aspd, bpd" are so overused and perverted that they no longer have any meaning and integrity.

 No.268651

>>268650
people speaking falsely doesnt erase the truth. sage because obvious

 No.268735

we all probly have trauma stuff easily. heres one ill choose tho,

when i was like 6 or 7 i was in a public bathroom for a football game or something at a high school, older kids came in and screamed at me, banged on the walls and doors, really freaked me out. also my pops died when i was 6 from terminal illness. my life is a silly sad one, silly boy i am.

 No.268737

>>268735
i have never been traumatized and i never will be. being traumatized is for bitches, children, homos and animals. not me, a man.

 No.268738

>>268737
t.raumatized and afraid of admitting weakness

 No.268741

>>268738
I AM NOT FUCKING TRAUMATIZED YOU HOMO, I AM HEALTHY I AM STRONG I AM SAFE I AM SECURE THISNT ABOUT ME HOMO THIS IS ABOUT YOU

 No.268742

>>268741
You are a fucking idiot, shut the fuck up

 No.268743

>>268741
it's ok wizzie, this is a safe space. you can share your pain. who is the person you are truly angry at? stop blaming yourself for what happened.

 No.268744

>>268743
ur mom traumatized me lmao

 No.268809

Being lied about everything from everyone for the most part of my life.

 No.268810

>>268809
they told you succubi will fall for you but in reality you're a wizzie completely irrelevant to them?

 No.268818

>>268810
what a failed normal view and a disgusting anti wizard view.

 No.268824

>>268818
sorry I just assumed he's upset about succubi and decided I might tease him a bit

I didn't mean that it's bad to be a wizard, on the contrary

 No.268828

>>268824
Why would being lied to cause you to assume that? Are you a fucking succubus?

 No.268843

>>268828
wiz it's just teasing. not very intelligible but I tried my best

 No.269523

Getting bullied at school was pretty bad.
>had cigs put out on me
>chocked out in the hallway
>lighters put out on me (smilies)
>holes burnt in my clothes and hair
>had my things stolen etc
Such is life in the public education sector. I only blame my retarded dad for teaching me to never stand up to his and (and as a result) others bullying.

 No.269569

nice try Kiwifarms

Anyway you can guess it's all a living Hell. It's usually the lack of a single good thing and the repeated reminders of humiliation to make sure nothing good is possible. I only found good things when it was far too late, and it was always in the direction of giving up on humanity and the idea that they were going to be anything different. The sad thing is that humanity doesn't want even a small iota of improvement in any tangible way, because they're given over completely to the cult of power and have no real reason to concern themselves with the material world beyond the barest minimum they need. The worse conditions get, the more they value society. Making people suffer is the point, and it's just gross that so many enable it without getting a single thing from it, not even the benefit of seeing others suffer. It's just stuff they do by instinct, as they have been trained, only intelligently enough to ensure that they can keep making people miserable. That's why the insults just because, the total unwillingness to allow for a single nice thing to exist, starving people and taking away basic things while feeding society toxic waste and drugs, refusing even basic conditions once considered human staples. All of this and those who are safe and rule can't claim to be anything but perverts. I've seen these people and their ugly faces and all they do is bray about how they're the chosen. Anyone who actually does things is exploited or kicked around and used up. It's just an orgy and they don't want it to ever stop or face any pushback. They're horrified at the thought that someone is disgusted with their party train and all the effects. You would only do any of the stuff this society does if you set out to kill as many people as possible over a century.

 No.269573

>>269523
why would he teach you to stand up to him

 No.269574

>>269523

Regardless of your dad been a piece of shit for not helping you in any way when you needed him the most, you should not be supposed to fight criminals on your own. That is why we have a state instead of anarchy.

Having to defend yourself from bullies torturing you with cigarette burns is like saying to a succubus that she should fight off her rapists on their own or deal with it or any person that they should fight robbers and murderers on their own. If you'll said a think like that, you'll get crucified.

My dad tried. He talked to the teachers, the parents, intimidated the bullies and nothing worked. Finally, he just had to change me to another school and send me to learn martial arts to "gain confidence and defend my self". By that time, the damage was done. I never recovered from that.

The funniest part is that years later I got into trouble for fighting in the new school … There is no winning if the authorities are pieces of shit that allow criminals to get away with it.

 No.269575

>>269569
legit. How do people not realize these threads are datamining?

 No.269580

>>269574
The same fuckery that's happening with schools is happening in society at large now where I live. We have gangs going into shops and slicing the fingers off of shopkeepers, and the cops go on the news and tell people not to defend themselves, and say "it would be a shame if a shopkeeper decided to use a weapon and found himself being the one charged with a crime".

It seems society is really selective at putting pressure on those who are agreeable and follow the rules while being lax on the more egregious elements that just cause harm. It's a strange form of abuse and it's going to lead to a lot of people snapping in the future.

 No.269585

Here is a wisdom for you wizzies :
If the bully is good looking, he will get away with it.
If the victim is ugly, he will be punished for defending himself.

Humans tend to project positive trait on those with attractive features, whereas negative traits are projected on the less endowed counterparts.

 No.269596

>>269585
almost always. sometimes there are sane people who defend whoever is victim, without this prejudice bullshit

also parents. if bullies' parents are influential (by means of personal acquaintance with somebody or some similar shit) you're almost certainly undone. idk what to do either cope, run or shoot them

 No.269636

>>269585
This reminds me of that good looking guy who killed a mother and her child with his car last year and then had a shitload of succubi defend him on the internet just because of his looks. If you are attractive to succubi you can literally almost do anything from being a convicted rapist to killing succubi without being judged as much.

 No.269788

>>267760
Dad used to take me to his room to kiss on me.

 No.269799

>>269788
How old were you when this happened? Did he ever fuck you?

 No.269834

I've got conscripted into the army and it was 6 months of pure hell, once the normans recognized me as an outsider their torture was relentless.
>barged into the room and started stabbing the mattress of my bunk bed with a knife while I was lying in it
>held a live drill to my head
>stole 50 bucks from me
>always paired up so that I had to be the punching bag of a sadistic 2 meter tall amateur bodybuilder (I'm a skinny manlet) during martial arts training
>snuck up behind me in the canteen and gave me a haircut with a knife, had to sit still as to not get any cuts
>shoved around and dragged out of the shower room for "taking too long"
>shove onto the floor and sat upon
>shoved me into a locker and locked me inside while filming the whole thing
Some highlights, of course I also was insulted the whole time.
I'm not only an incredibly passive person but also of slight frame so I knew that getting aggressive and confronting them would at best merit laughter and at worst getting beat up and dying after my head bounces onto the concrete. Therefor my only choice was not giving them the reaction they expected, so I tried my best to stay stoic and unfazed but that only invited them to try harder.
At the end of the 6 months I was starting to crack and had certain days were I decided I'd kill at least one of them. One day I carried a hammer concealed in my sleeve and was determined to swing at the skull of the next one that targets me. I stabbed one of them with a screwdriver after he started choking me from behind, I aimed for his throat but missed and got a bony part of the neck area instead. On another day I broke my silence and insulted the mother of one of the alpha normans while he was fucking with me, he was getting ready to beat me up but backed off when I pulled my knife with tears running down my face. After that I was known as "psycho" or "school shooter".
If I saw one of them somewhere outside I'd probably freeze up and then try to get away before they recognize me. Due to spending more or less 6 months in a constant state of stress and fight and flight I can't pee when people are around (just hearing steps or voices is enough to trigger it) due to my urinary sphincter involuntarily clenching and I often also have trouble swallowing food which is something that started in the army canteen and never went away. The food somehow ends up stuck somewhere, then a stabbing pain begins and I feel as if I'm suffocating, this goes for for 3-20 minutes after which the food is regurgitated in a thick coat of saliva.
Atleast the normans had their cruel fun.

 No.269867

Does thinking about my past and current sins count? LOL

 No.269869

>>269580
What you describe happened in New Zealand recently, are you from here? Also, I've come across the term anarcho-tyranny to describe the form of abuse that you mention.

 No.269871

>>269834
What country is this? I'm assuming Russia. Why didn't you just shoot them when armed?

 No.269874

>>269871 He would end up in the military jail and face more consequences later in his life. The justice system is always in favour of the rich and Alphas.

 No.269875

>>269869
Kek yeah, I'm describing New Zealand. It's strange how the rest of the developed world has no idea that we've got Mexican levels of crime here, and soon to be Mexican levels of violent/gang crime. There's exponential growth with the gangs, something like 13% a year, they're doubling in size every 6-7 years. We're about 3-4 years away from the gangs outnumbering the NZ military, and that's counting the desk jockeys and females in the army. Just for some historical perspective, the German army report on the Brownshirts and Antifa outnumbering the Weimar German army is what drove the German government to inaction. After a certain threshold the government just shits its pants and does nothing.

There doesn't seem to be any social or political will to do what the US did from the Reagan era onward, to just build more prisons and clamp down on crime. We pretty much have a set quota of people the government wants to have in prison to make their stats look good, and if they go over that they just start releasing people on "good behavior" or giving lenient sentences. You have literal murderers walking the street after 4 years kek.

 No.269882

my father tried to kill himself twice in front of me when i was a child

 No.269887

>>269834
>After that I was known as "psycho" or "school shooter".
Sometimes a part of me thinks that the Freudian death drive makes people try to drive people into snapping and killing them. On some level people like this want shootings to happen and put a great deal of effort into making them happen. There’s a video of some old married couple harassing a young widowed guy into snapping and killing them. Even when they’ve been shot and are dying, they are still talking shit to him. It’s some kind of brain rot. Some form/aspect of antisocial personality. Shootings happen more in the US because of the higher incidence of whatever personality type this is. It seems really common in anglos, but also from what I’ve heard Brazilians — not saying it’s racial. American culture really encourages it, especially in young people.

 No.269920

>>269875
There's so many morons who have never set foot here, yet think that New Zealand is some kind of paradise. The wages are shit, the cost of living (particularly rent) is absurd, building standards and quality are abysmal, and our current government literally thinks that it is racist to crack down on gangs.

 No.269923

>>269882
why did he want to do it in front of you ?

 No.269930

>>269882
My father threatened murder suicide with my brothers and I during his depression episodes until he was put away. It's in the blood this depression.

 No.269935

Kicked and beaten into a corner, meths splashed on me and set on fire by step father. Mother didn't care much.

And that's not even the start of it

 No.270359

Brainrot from depression is an underrated trauma. We are our lowest moments

 No.270361

Many, but mostly related to the shouting and the arguments, but I learned to cope more or less. But once when I was young I began to be very afraid of death, and the void, but it went away after a few months, but I had never felt so bad before. I really hope this feeling doesn't come back.

 No.270418

>>269575
people wanna expressed themselves

 No.270928

Bump, looking for greentext stories of trauma to relate to.

 No.270929

>>270928
I've never had a traumatic experience but I'll give you something you'll probably find interesting:
>be 7 years old
>father is a tranny
>he regularly threatens to remove the genitals of his children
>beats us etc
>when I get older (10) he starts going off about how I'm turning rebellious now that I'm "developing"
>one time I talk back to him
>he goes on a tangent about how I'm a boy that needs to be "broken in"
>knocks my head, chokes me, etc, never anything too bad
>luckily never beaten
>one time I'm secretly reading a book at night
>he tears my blankets off and chokes me
>i don't want to lose to him, so I keep a smile on and stare at him
>he looks visibly unsettled and walks away
Some days after that police removed me from him. Here's an unrelated story:

>now 11 years old

>really shy around step-father
>he seems pretty nice though
>i start getting comfortable and even happy that I have a "dad" now
>fantasize about having a real dad
>one day I leave my blanket on the floor while cleaning (i slept on the floor)
>he suddenly begins screaming at me and, although I was used to holding back tears from my biological father this took me by surprise, so I couldn't really control it
>we get on very bad terms
>never build a relationship with him again

 No.271593

i witnessed my mom being verbally and sometimes phisically abused by my alcoholic uncle. it didn't help that my mom was an alcoholic too and she would provoke the fat fuck meanwhile i was completely powerless. all of this happened while we all lived in my hoarder grandma's house. this happened for most of my teenage years and just about 2 years ago after graduating high school me and my mom managed to move. this left me with very specific triggers for anxiety attacks like hearing distant loud shouting or sudden powerful noises

 No.271595

>>271593
get a noisy and loud work, your nervous system will get dumb to it in a while

 No.271598

>mom takes me on a trip to someplace, don't really care because I'm a child and as long as I can bring my DS to play on I'm happy
>eventually arrive at some person's nice house, and it's an older african man with a thick accent
>they both leave me in the living room and head to a bedroom
>look around his home and see pictures of his wife and children who look like they're in someplace in africa
>stomach drops as I suddenly realize what's going on and stay quiet until I can go home and tell my dad what happened
>parents are constantly in screaming matches, their alcohol usage increases exponentially which exacerbates the screaming and fights
>at some point my mom secretly sold my DS and other things, like previous birthday gifts for probably more alcohol
>this happens for years afterwards still and I'll sometimes catch a glimpse of my mom's phone and see dirty texts to multiple people
>mom even asks me to take nudes for her which I vehemently declined but the fact she asked me to even do that made me sick to my stomach
>parents are trailer park trash and aren't even married but are financially bound to each other so tensions worsen as they're stuck living with each other
>years later my dad commits suicide and my mom's cognitive state has declined significantly due to alcohol, and begs me for money

On top of all this I constantly wonder if I have FASD due to my mom's dependence on alcohol. I've asked her before but she will lie no matter what, so I guess I'll never know. I don't have the features, but I'm severely autistic so I question if that's FASD rather than autism.

 No.271617

this OP absolutely reeks of some fat landwhale slut from kiwi or cc trying to harvest our pain like the low level demon bitch creature she is

 No.271632

>>271617
I thought the same, never trust a faggot who opens threads like these without providing anything himself. There were at least 4-5 threads like these in the last few weeks and I suspect its all from the same person. This faggot literally just opens threads with one question and then people share their whole life even though OP wont post anything about his own shortcomings.

Its either a troll or some other faggot who tries to harvest stories for some shit.

 No.271662

>>271617
>>271632
It's probably just the admins and mods. If you're posting here then they already harvest your emotions.

 No.271680

>>267760
When I was a kid a couple of other kids in the neighborhood thought it'd be pretty funny to hang me with an old rope they found. I survived and I've been a loner ever since.

 No.271682

>>271680
Yeah right, this definitely happened… /s

 No.271683

>>271682
fuck off [identified poster]

 No.271684

>>271683
You expect us to believe some kids tried to lynch you. Nobodies buying your made up shit. Your life isn't a movie.
And i have posted a traumatic memory here in this thread.

 No.271685

>>271684
youre being toxic to him for no reason
try again loser

 No.271687

>>271680
I believe you

 No.271688

>>271684
Typical white boy doesn't want to believe BIPOC when they express their traumatic memories of past lynching attempts. Yes, this is reality for minorities in Amerikkka

 No.271689

>>271685
>Using words like "toxic"
Spotted the reddit tourist

 No.271690

>>271689
toxic is the perfect word to describe ppl who talk trash to people who dont hurt nobody

 No.271692

>>271690
>ppl
Just more evidence of you being a dosgraceful, gullible newcunt tourist. I hate you with every fiber of my being.

 No.271693

>>271692
uhm xcuse me, i been browsing since wizchan had a wizard test

 No.271718

Delirium when I was in the ICU last year, they put me on so many drugs I was utterly out of my mind.

 No.271732

>>271690
>>271617
>>271632
>>271688
Get the fuck off my thread you faggots

 No.271814

>>269580
This reminds me of an article I read from somewhere in rural Canada about some men who pursued thieves by car so they didn't get away again and the thieves were shooting at them.
When they called the police to tell them what was happening and ask for urgent assistance, the police officer's most emphasized point was that they should not shoot back or they would be ARRESTED.

Wish I could find the article.
It's all so demoralizing I just try not to think about it.

It's obviously much easier to penalize people who law-abiding and decent and simply defending themselves.

 No.271830

>>269585

Yes, it's status based. If the aggressor has more status than the victim he can get away with it or get a lighter punishment.

Good looks is a form of status, money and a powerful family are other.

People are apes. If you look at chimps, high status chimps always bully low status chimps to show who is on top and who is on the bottom. Humans are no better.

 No.271832

>>271830
It’s kind of weird how misanthropy based on humans just being apes is mocked these days. People need to believe their political tribal abuse of each other online has meaning I guess. People are just apes and this conflict has no meaning, it’s just ape shit 🦧

 No.271833

>>70000
test

 No.271841

>>271830
>People are apes. If you look at chimps, high status chimps always bully low status chimps to show who is on top and who is on the bottom. Humans are no better.

Couldn't have said it better. It's sad how many people don't understand this.

 No.271859

>>267762
>balding
>gigachad

 No.271860

File: 1675303191076.jpg (252.16 KB, 1280x1346, 640:673, 14843612346541.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

when I was 12 my mom and dad took me to one of their work friends house because they were having a party, I told my parents that I didn't want to go but they brought me anyway, when we got there I had a panic attack and started crying, then my dad drove me back home without my mom, screaming at me the whole 30~ mins back, when we got home he started viciously beating me up and throwing me into furniture and stuff, I got hurt really bad so I just curled in a ball on the floor and think I broke a rib and then he called me a pussy and left me there so he could sit on the couch and watch tv

 No.271871

>>271593
>very specific triggers for anxiety
don't have a very good vocabulary but is it similar to the symptoms of that succubus from midsommar or the father from aftersun?



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