[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ] [  Textboard ] [  Wiki ]

/dep/ - Depression

Password (For file deletion.)

  [Go to bottom]   [Catalog]   [Return]   [Archive]

File: 1668348584547.png (2.03 MB, 753x707, 753:707, 1663380136603528.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.267760[Last 50 Posts]

Share your various traumatic experiences that still haunts you to this very day.


OP here: I'll start,
>Mom brings her best friend's son over to stay with us for "2 weeks" due to a nasty divorce
>He's a balding, 6'3 gigachad war vet
>At first he's ok but he gradually devolves into terrorizing and bullying all of us and especially me
>At one point, I'm watching TV and he rips out the cord and screams "SUCK MY BALLS" despite my family feeding and housing him for literally free for months
>Gets in my face and stares at me with murderous eyes
>I pussy out because I'm a long haired 5'8 skinny drug addict loser
>He finally grabs the remote and leaves

I know it's probably not very traumatic compared to most others in this place but I still think about this absolutely every single day months later.


File: 1668349404125.jpg (317.49 KB, 908x758, 454:379, 1652582611288.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

What the fuck


It’s insane how there are people that are homeless from actual misfortune, but the people that seek out a situation where they’re provided free housing outside of a shelter are fucking psychopaths. “Parasitic lifestyle” is part of the diagnostic criteria for antisocial disorders for a reason. People like that will treat people they’re totally financially dependent on worse than normal people would treat a rabid dog or their sworn enemy.
I had a similar situation for years with a family member. Chaos demons.


Well he's now actually homeless sleeping in a van in some bushland so I can at least cope with that. You're exactly correct, some people are rabid dogs that cannot be helped.


My father would be particularly excitable when he was drunk, and he was drunk often. Mind you, he was (is) still very crazy sober.

Thankfully, I was only tormented by his presence during the summer and when I was young. When he would get violent, my stepmother and her children would just leave, and my brother would hide somewhere. I guess he decided that I would make a good teddy bear to bitch about his problems to. I would lie in bed for what felt like hours out of my mind on fear and adrenalin all while he slurred barely conscious curses at other people in my ear. Another time he was yelling at the whole family during a vacation. I guess he saw me amidst the crowd and decided that he'd rather do the teddy bear thing than yell anymore, so he just grabbed me and took me to his room, where I stayed until he fell asleep. I just crawled out of the bed and went back to the rest of the family, exhausted. I slept on a mattress with only a sheet because my stepmother had taken mine. No one in that family thought it was necessary to save me. I imagine they were just enjoying the peace and quiet.

My mother's family is certainly better by comparison, but if I'm being honest, my brain is so riddled with anxiety that I would have no idea if they are treating me well or not. Paranoia and relentless internal self-deprecation has only led me to never really know for sure. Even people I know I'm fine with, if they even look at me for longer than a glance, I want to vacate their line of site instantly. My life has only ever amounted to nervous excursions by necessity punctuated by the peace of not being seen. Being outside the line of sight and hearing of other people is the only time I can relax. Indeed, even the thought that someone can hear me or what I'm doing makes my hair stand up. Because if they can hear me, what could they be saying about me, in their heads? etc.

Ultimately, I don't actually know if I'm crazy. All of this could be an invention of my intense maladaptive daydreaming, and a damaged, anxious mind often lashes out do to self-interest. Can you really blame a starving man for stealing food? I can feel myself being dragged into a very frustrated and resentful place every moment I am around people. It grows and grows until hateful verbal leakage just spills everywhere. I'll likely be remembered to be just as crazy as my father.


so you're not a virgin, take this clown outta here


Truth. Glad you got him out. Once I finally kicked mine out, his next target apparently had a lower tolerance for demonic behavior and wound up getting driven into assaulting him within a few months. Unfortunately he survived, but it was nice to find out it wasn’t just me. They treat everyone like that.


Man, “people” that use their kids as therapists and surrogate parents are a special kind of evil.


I was physically abused for more than a decade by my mentally ill mother, every single week. I still have nightmares.

Not only that, but my mother also encouraged other people to scream at me and hit me too, specially to my father.




thats probably not the beginning of it, because self-abuse is a form of traumatic acting out

quads indicate you need to move out wizzie

a common theme of trauma is comparing it to the worst thing imaginable in an attempt to generate gratitude (I think?). Just try to get gratitude from a normal source, so you don't poison that well.

It's hard to feel abused knowing that some people have had it much worse than my relatively tame upbringing. Probably the hardest part is the low-level normalized hate and self hatred that I have to constantly notice and try to re-direct, or the pre-disposition to staying intoxicated for long periods, so I don't have to deal with the world view and feelings I've inherited. Just being raised by violent drunks, probably the best thing I've done is try to see things as a child, and people as children. It's hard to be angry at someone hurting you, if you see they have been a child. Pure cope, but, I guess it might help.


>Parasitic lifestyle
fuck that would be me

now what?


You have to practice seeing people as non-objects, and try to practice empathy as much as possible, as well as maintaining patience. But a harder question is why? If you want to stop being parasitic, stop, if you believe your parasitic lifestyle is evidence that your a psychopath, know a psychopath would likely just shrug it off, as "this is fine, and who I am" – so if you think "fuck I must be a psychobath and I don't want to be", a psychopath wouldnt care. More ego-dystonic personality disorders can seem similarly, like BPD, NPD


You should ruin their lives.


You should poisoned him with methyl alcohol.


i can't remember them anymore and that's a good thing.


it can be a long term state, but i don't think its good. it can feel less painful than getting better (or worse) though


> know a psychopath would likely just shrug it off, as "this is fine, and who I am"
You understand that the majority of users here are considering your posts as disguised flattery? They think being a psychopath is cool, you're only complimenting them and enabling predatory behavior (which btw is more normal than people would like to believe)


true. sometimes i feel upset and i don't know why well actually it's probably because of my suppressed memory.


very presumptuous of you to say what the majority of users here think. its what you think. one distuinguisting factor from npd/aspd and bpd is the ego reinforcing aspect, so i dont really care how maladjusted crab worshiping teens take it. they should go 'touch grass'.


I have too much experience with people to ignore their common behaviors. I'm not trying to be le ironic psychopath here either. I have a huge disagreement with modern psychology and the general public's interpretation of their diagnosistic criterias. All these acronyms you used "npd, aspd, bpd" are so overused and perverted that they no longer have any meaning and integrity.


people speaking falsely doesnt erase the truth. sage because obvious


we all probly have trauma stuff easily. heres one ill choose tho,

when i was like 6 or 7 i was in a public bathroom for a football game or something at a high school, older kids came in and screamed at me, banged on the walls and doors, really freaked me out. also my pops died when i was 6 from terminal illness. my life is a silly sad one, silly boy i am.


i have never been traumatized and i never will be. being traumatized is for bitches, children, homos and animals. not me, a man.


t.raumatized and afraid of admitting weakness




You are a fucking idiot, shut the fuck up


it's ok wizzie, this is a safe space. you can share your pain. who is the person you are truly angry at? stop blaming yourself for what happened.


ur mom traumatized me lmao


Being lied about everything from everyone for the most part of my life.


they told you succubi will fall for you but in reality you're a wizzie completely irrelevant to them?


what a failed normal view and a disgusting anti wizard view.


sorry I just assumed he's upset about succubi and decided I might tease him a bit

I didn't mean that it's bad to be a wizard, on the contrary


Why would being lied to cause you to assume that? Are you a fucking succubus?


wiz it's just teasing. not very intelligible but I tried my best


Getting bullied at school was pretty bad.
>had cigs put out on me
>chocked out in the hallway
>lighters put out on me (smilies)
>holes burnt in my clothes and hair
>had my things stolen etc
Such is life in the public education sector. I only blame my retarded dad for teaching me to never stand up to his and (and as a result) others bullying.


nice try Kiwifarms

Anyway you can guess it's all a living Hell. It's usually the lack of a single good thing and the repeated reminders of humiliation to make sure nothing good is possible. I only found good things when it was far too late, and it was always in the direction of giving up on humanity and the idea that they were going to be anything different. The sad thing is that humanity doesn't want even a small iota of improvement in any tangible way, because they're given over completely to the cult of power and have no real reason to concern themselves with the material world beyond the barest minimum they need. The worse conditions get, the more they value society. Making people suffer is the point, and it's just gross that so many enable it without getting a single thing from it, not even the benefit of seeing others suffer. It's just stuff they do by instinct, as they have been trained, only intelligently enough to ensure that they can keep making people miserable. That's why the insults just because, the total unwillingness to allow for a single nice thing to exist, starving people and taking away basic things while feeding society toxic waste and drugs, refusing even basic conditions once considered human staples. All of this and those who are safe and rule can't claim to be anything but perverts. I've seen these people and their ugly faces and all they do is bray about how they're the chosen. Anyone who actually does things is exploited or kicked around and used up. It's just an orgy and they don't want it to ever stop or face any pushback. They're horrified at the thought that someone is disgusted with their party train and all the effects. You would only do any of the stuff this society does if you set out to kill as many people as possible over a century.


why would he teach you to stand up to him



Regardless of your dad been a piece of shit for not helping you in any way when you needed him the most, you should not be supposed to fight criminals on your own. That is why we have a state instead of anarchy.

Having to defend yourself from bullies torturing you with cigarette burns is like saying to a succubus that she should fight off her rapists on their own or deal with it or any person that they should fight robbers and murderers on their own. If you'll said a think like that, you'll get crucified.

My dad tried. He talked to the teachers, the parents, intimidated the bullies and nothing worked. Finally, he just had to change me to another school and send me to learn martial arts to "gain confidence and defend my self". By that time, the damage was done. I never recovered from that.

The funniest part is that years later I got into trouble for fighting in the new school … There is no winning if the authorities are pieces of shit that allow criminals to get away with it.


legit. How do people not realize these threads are datamining?


The same fuckery that's happening with schools is happening in society at large now where I live. We have gangs going into shops and slicing the fingers off of shopkeepers, and the cops go on the news and tell people not to defend themselves, and say "it would be a shame if a shopkeeper decided to use a weapon and found himself being the one charged with a crime".

It seems society is really selective at putting pressure on those who are agreeable and follow the rules while being lax on the more egregious elements that just cause harm. It's a strange form of abuse and it's going to lead to a lot of people snapping in the future.


Here is a wisdom for you wizzies :
If the bully is good looking, he will get away with it.
If the victim is ugly, he will be punished for defending himself.

Humans tend to project positive trait on those with attractive features, whereas negative traits are projected on the less endowed counterparts.


almost always. sometimes there are sane people who defend whoever is victim, without this prejudice bullshit

also parents. if bullies' parents are influential (by means of personal acquaintance with somebody or some similar shit) you're almost certainly undone. idk what to do either cope, run or shoot them


This reminds me of that good looking guy who killed a mother and her child with his car last year and then had a shitload of succubi defend him on the internet just because of his looks. If you are attractive to succubi you can literally almost do anything from being a convicted rapist to killing succubi without being judged as much.


Dad used to take me to his room to kiss on me.


How old were you when this happened? Did he ever fuck you?


I've got conscripted into the army and it was 6 months of pure hell, once the normans recognized me as an outsider their torture was relentless.
>barged into the room and started stabbing the mattress of my bunk bed with a knife while I was lying in it
>held a live drill to my head
>stole 50 bucks from me
>always paired up so that I had to be the punching bag of a sadistic 2 meter tall amateur bodybuilder (I'm a skinny manlet) during martial arts training
>snuck up behind me in the canteen and gave me a haircut with a knife, had to sit still as to not get any cuts
>shoved around and dragged out of the shower room for "taking too long"
>shove onto the floor and sat upon
>shoved me into a locker and locked me inside while filming the whole thing
Some highlights, of course I also was insulted the whole time.
I'm not only an incredibly passive person but also of slight frame so I knew that getting aggressive and confronting them would at best merit laughter and at worst getting beat up and dying after my head bounces onto the concrete. Therefor my only choice was not giving them the reaction they expected, so I tried my best to stay stoic and unfazed but that only invited them to try harder.
At the end of the 6 months I was starting to crack and had certain days were I decided I'd kill at least one of them. One day I carried a hammer concealed in my sleeve and was determined to swing at the skull of the next one that targets me. I stabbed one of them with a screwdriver after he started choking me from behind, I aimed for his throat but missed and got a bony part of the neck area instead. On another day I broke my silence and insulted the mother of one of the alpha normans while he was fucking with me, he was getting ready to beat me up but backed off when I pulled my knife with tears running down my face. After that I was known as "psycho" or "school shooter".
If I saw one of them somewhere outside I'd probably freeze up and then try to get away before they recognize me. Due to spending more or less 6 months in a constant state of stress and fight and flight I can't pee when people are around (just hearing steps or voices is enough to trigger it) due to my urinary sphincter involuntarily clenching and I often also have trouble swallowing food which is something that started in the army canteen and never went away. The food somehow ends up stuck somewhere, then a stabbing pain begins and I feel as if I'm suffocating, this goes for for 3-20 minutes after which the food is regurgitated in a thick coat of saliva.
Atleast the normans had their cruel fun.


Does thinking about my past and current sins count? LOL


What you describe happened in New Zealand recently, are you from here? Also, I've come across the term anarcho-tyranny to describe the form of abuse that you mention.


What country is this? I'm assuming Russia. Why didn't you just shoot them when armed?


>>269871 He would end up in the military jail and face more consequences later in his life. The justice system is always in favour of the rich and Alphas.


Kek yeah, I'm describing New Zealand. It's strange how the rest of the developed world has no idea that we've got Mexican levels of crime here, and soon to be Mexican levels of violent/gang crime. There's exponential growth with the gangs, something like 13% a year, they're doubling in size every 6-7 years. We're about 3-4 years away from the gangs outnumbering the NZ military, and that's counting the desk jockeys and females in the army. Just for some historical perspective, the German army report on the Brownshirts and Antifa outnumbering the Weimar German army is what drove the German government to inaction. After a certain threshold the government just shits its pants and does nothing.

There doesn't seem to be any social or political will to do what the US did from the Reagan era onward, to just build more prisons and clamp down on crime. We pretty much have a set quota of people the government wants to have in prison to make their stats look good, and if they go over that they just start releasing people on "good behavior" or giving lenient sentences. You have literal murderers walking the street after 4 years kek.


my father tried to kill himself twice in front of me when i was a child


>After that I was known as "psycho" or "school shooter".
Sometimes a part of me thinks that the Freudian death drive makes people try to drive people into snapping and killing them. On some level people like this want shootings to happen and put a great deal of effort into making them happen. There’s a video of some old married couple harassing a young widowed guy into snapping and killing them. Even when they’ve been shot and are dying, they are still talking shit to him. It’s some kind of brain rot. Some form/aspect of antisocial personality. Shootings happen more in the US because of the higher incidence of whatever personality type this is. It seems really common in anglos, but also from what I’ve heard Brazilians — not saying it’s racial. American culture really encourages it, especially in young people.


There's so many morons who have never set foot here, yet think that New Zealand is some kind of paradise. The wages are shit, the cost of living (particularly rent) is absurd, building standards and quality are abysmal, and our current government literally thinks that it is racist to crack down on gangs.


why did he want to do it in front of you ?


My father threatened murder suicide with my brothers and I during his depression episodes until he was put away. It's in the blood this depression.


Kicked and beaten into a corner, meths splashed on me and set on fire by step father. Mother didn't care much.

And that's not even the start of it


Brainrot from depression is an underrated trauma. We are our lowest moments


Many, but mostly related to the shouting and the arguments, but I learned to cope more or less. But once when I was young I began to be very afraid of death, and the void, but it went away after a few months, but I had never felt so bad before. I really hope this feeling doesn't come back.


people wanna expressed themselves


Bump, looking for greentext stories of trauma to relate to.


I've never had a traumatic experience but I'll give you something you'll probably find interesting:
>be 7 years old
>father is a tranny
>he regularly threatens to remove the genitals of his children
>beats us etc
>when I get older (10) he starts going off about how I'm turning rebellious now that I'm "developing"
>one time I talk back to him
>he goes on a tangent about how I'm a boy that needs to be "broken in"
>knocks my head, chokes me, etc, never anything too bad
>luckily never beaten
>one time I'm secretly reading a book at night
>he tears my blankets off and chokes me
>i don't want to lose to him, so I keep a smile on and stare at him
>he looks visibly unsettled and walks away
Some days after that police removed me from him. Here's an unrelated story:

>now 11 years old

>really shy around step-father
>he seems pretty nice though
>i start getting comfortable and even happy that I have a "dad" now
>fantasize about having a real dad
>one day I leave my blanket on the floor while cleaning (i slept on the floor)
>he suddenly begins screaming at me and, although I was used to holding back tears from my biological father this took me by surprise, so I couldn't really control it
>we get on very bad terms
>never build a relationship with him again


i witnessed my mom being verbally and sometimes phisically abused by my alcoholic uncle. it didn't help that my mom was an alcoholic too and she would provoke the fat fuck meanwhile i was completely powerless. all of this happened while we all lived in my hoarder grandma's house. this happened for most of my teenage years and just about 2 years ago after graduating high school me and my mom managed to move. this left me with very specific triggers for anxiety attacks like hearing distant loud shouting or sudden powerful noises


get a noisy and loud work, your nervous system will get dumb to it in a while


>mom takes me on a trip to someplace, don't really care because I'm a child and as long as I can bring my DS to play on I'm happy
>eventually arrive at some person's nice house, and it's an older african man with a thick accent
>they both leave me in the living room and head to a bedroom
>look around his home and see pictures of his wife and children who look like they're in someplace in africa
>stomach drops as I suddenly realize what's going on and stay quiet until I can go home and tell my dad what happened
>parents are constantly in screaming matches, their alcohol usage increases exponentially which exacerbates the screaming and fights
>at some point my mom secretly sold my DS and other things, like previous birthday gifts for probably more alcohol
>this happens for years afterwards still and I'll sometimes catch a glimpse of my mom's phone and see dirty texts to multiple people
>mom even asks me to take nudes for her which I vehemently declined but the fact she asked me to even do that made me sick to my stomach
>parents are trailer park trash and aren't even married but are financially bound to each other so tensions worsen as they're stuck living with each other
>years later my dad commits suicide and my mom's cognitive state has declined significantly due to alcohol, and begs me for money

On top of all this I constantly wonder if I have FASD due to my mom's dependence on alcohol. I've asked her before but she will lie no matter what, so I guess I'll never know. I don't have the features, but I'm severely autistic so I question if that's FASD rather than autism.


this OP absolutely reeks of some fat landwhale slut from kiwi or cc trying to harvest our pain like the low level demon bitch creature she is


I thought the same, never trust a faggot who opens threads like these without providing anything himself. There were at least 4-5 threads like these in the last few weeks and I suspect its all from the same person. This faggot literally just opens threads with one question and then people share their whole life even though OP wont post anything about his own shortcomings.

Its either a troll or some other faggot who tries to harvest stories for some shit.


It's probably just the admins and mods. If you're posting here then they already harvest your emotions.


When I was a kid a couple of other kids in the neighborhood thought it'd be pretty funny to hang me with an old rope they found. I survived and I've been a loner ever since.


Yeah right, this definitely happened… /s


fuck off [identified poster]


You expect us to believe some kids tried to lynch you. Nobodies buying your made up shit. Your life isn't a movie.
And i have posted a traumatic memory here in this thread.


youre being toxic to him for no reason
try again loser


I believe you


Typical white boy doesn't want to believe BIPOC when they express their traumatic memories of past lynching attempts. Yes, this is reality for minorities in Amerikkka


>Using words like "toxic"
Spotted the reddit tourist


toxic is the perfect word to describe ppl who talk trash to people who dont hurt nobody


Just more evidence of you being a dosgraceful, gullible newcunt tourist. I hate you with every fiber of my being.


uhm xcuse me, i been browsing since wizchan had a wizard test


Delirium when I was in the ICU last year, they put me on so many drugs I was utterly out of my mind.


Get the fuck off my thread you faggots


This reminds me of an article I read from somewhere in rural Canada about some men who pursued thieves by car so they didn't get away again and the thieves were shooting at them.
When they called the police to tell them what was happening and ask for urgent assistance, the police officer's most emphasized point was that they should not shoot back or they would be ARRESTED.

Wish I could find the article.
It's all so demoralizing I just try not to think about it.

It's obviously much easier to penalize people who law-abiding and decent and simply defending themselves.



Yes, it's status based. If the aggressor has more status than the victim he can get away with it or get a lighter punishment.

Good looks is a form of status, money and a powerful family are other.

People are apes. If you look at chimps, high status chimps always bully low status chimps to show who is on top and who is on the bottom. Humans are no better.


It’s kind of weird how misanthropy based on humans just being apes is mocked these days. People need to believe their political tribal abuse of each other online has meaning I guess. People are just apes and this conflict has no meaning, it’s just ape shit 🦧




>People are apes. If you look at chimps, high status chimps always bully low status chimps to show who is on top and who is on the bottom. Humans are no better.

Couldn't have said it better. It's sad how many people don't understand this.




File: 1675303191076.jpg (252.16 KB, 1280x1346, 640:673, 14843612346541.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

when I was 12 my mom and dad took me to one of their work friends house because they were having a party, I told my parents that I didn't want to go but they brought me anyway, when we got there I had a panic attack and started crying, then my dad drove me back home without my mom, screaming at me the whole 30~ mins back, when we got home he started viciously beating me up and throwing me into furniture and stuff, I got hurt really bad so I just curled in a ball on the floor and think I broke a rib and then he called me a pussy and left me there so he could sit on the couch and watch tv


>very specific triggers for anxiety
don't have a very good vocabulary but is it similar to the symptoms of that succubus from midsommar or the father from aftersun?


Im so sorry


Yea, but in humans is not exactly the same. Hierarchies here are more complex, they have tricks


Thats some fucked up shit, really felt sickening to read. Im sorry you had to through something like that.


My parents were similarly rage freaks. Though their threats never turned physical.
It made me passive to hide my injuries from assaults at school. One time I was already knocked down to the ground on my face. Then someone slammed my back some how. I couldn't see. It fucked up my spine really good. I don't know how because I hid it from everybody. The adrenaline kept me going for the day. When I got home at night the pain hit. It hurt so bad for so long. I hid a board and a small cushion for my lower back on my bed and slept laid up like that because I figured it would help me heal easier. Took maybe months before the pain subsided. I think it was maybe a herniated disc or something. It would explain why my lower body. Basically my legs. Are weak as fuck like partial paralysis or something. I have horrible coordination below the lumbar. Oh yeah and also the spasms. I didn't know it wasn't normal to have weak legs like this because it happened to me so young. I think first or second grade. I just assume its normal for human legs.


did you get that checked?



My mother using some academic failure as leverage to pick pimples and boils on my back as she very clearly enjoyed/got off while doing so when I was 13. I messed up in school so she traded me lying on my stomach on a bed while she painfully picked at me and popped my black/whiteheads in exchange for not doing anything about low grades in parental retaliation. I genuinely felt physically coerced and violated and weird about the entire ordeal.

She's in the hospital now, a decade later, and nobody but my father gives a fuck. Both of my brothers and several family members have expressed mixtures of relief and happiness that she's nearing end of life. I share their feelings. I hope her death comes quickly and is moved past without too much fanfare. I can say with no doubt I hope she dies in the most efficient form possible so I can stop letting her take up space in my life, though the abuse we've suffered will surely affect multiple people for years to come. To put it as simply as possible, she should have been killed a long time ago. There was no gain whatsoever to anybody from her being around, only suffering compounded by more suffering. She's Livia Soprano in the flesh.


>My mother using some academic failure as leverage to pick pimples and boils on my back as she very clearly enjoyed/got off while doing so when I was 13. I messed up in school so she traded me lying on my stomach on a bed while she painfully picked at me and popped my black/whiteheads in exchange for not doing anything about low grades in parental retaliation. I genuinely felt physically coerced and violated and weird about the entire ordeal.
This seems pretty innocent honestly…


unlike that wizard my mom sucked my dick and forced me to shower with her until I was 14 and got moved away


Has therapy ever helped any of you?

Theres a therapist who charges fairly cheap in my town, but I'm not sure if I should go or if it's just a waste of time and money.


You probably should go because it might work. It never worked for me though, but that's just me. A therapist is someone that's trained to be a helpful friend replacement, so if you ever feel like you want someone to talk to it might be beneficial.
Just don't lie to them, don't act like you know everything, don't argue, etc. Just be humble and talk about your problems.


you should see a therapist as a poker
poking into your feelies
you need to let them poke without assuming that they have some ulterior motive
if you feel like they got a wrong hunch then tell them


> Be around 6 years old
> Mom takes me and baby brother to drug den
> See neighborhood get progressively shittier with bars on windows, broken cars, blacks and mexicans everywhere
> Mom leaves me and brother in crib and steps into side room to get high
> Survival instincts kick in "I need to get home"
> Too weak to carry baby brother in carseat
> Had to abandon baby brother at a drug den to save myself
> Walk home using landmarks, recognize road intersection near home
> No adults try to help wondering child
> Make it home and tell dad
> Baby Brother eventually returned home and parents have usual screaming match
> Childhood only get worse from there


> Be around 7 years old
> Baby Brother tries climbing up large wooden dresser
> It falls on top of him but he is saved by bed
> Dad storms into the room and punches the wind out of me


> Be around 10 years old
> Ask mom for lunch money
> Mom is hung over and smashes her coffee mug on my head and sends me to school
> Walk to school with throbbing headache
> Get to school and find head is bleeding
> Tell teacher then mom is called
> Mom panics and takes me and baby brother away from dad to a new city to hide from authorities by living with family
> Relatives run several halfway home for recovering druggies and mentally disturbed
> Spend a few years living with constantly screaming people
> Get molested at one point and never tell anyone
> Dad made no effort to recover me


> Be around 14 years old
> Mom is sick of me and brother and returns us home to dad
> On night Mom returns home high and tries to take me and brother away again
> Mom and dad get into fight
> Mom takes a bite out of dads nose
> Mom is taken away by police and life gets a bit better


> Be around 18 years old
> Get accepted into UC Berkeley with partial scholarship
> Need 100$ deposit for school housing
> Ask parents for money but they refused
> End up community college instead
> Doing well the first year until incident at home
> Dad overdosed on pain medication and had a stroke
> Find him and try cpr
> Get a mouthfull of his vomit
> He dies after me have failed giving him cpr
> Hear paramedics make a joke and laugh while stadnding over his dead body
> Brother rather spend the remainder of the night with his friends and not me
> Mom returns home, steals his car that was left for me, and loots the house
> Drop out of community college, still dont have any degree

Dieing was the best thing he has done for me. Cut mom off but still waiting to hear she is dead so I can be free.


>be you
>be in suburban California
>parents don't give you free money


tbh i think they murdered their dad


First time poster long time wiz (conceptually).
My trauma story begins before I was born, when my brother was an only child.
>Parents get married
>Dad is from middle class family with abnormally healthy upbringing
>Mother is bastard child of a low income family of all boys except her
>She basically raised her younger (full) brother to the point where he basically sees her as his own mother
>My dad comes into the picture and carries her away to happy ever after
>All her brothers, younger included, continue to live mediocre low class lives and never get married or amount to anything (all 3 full brothers, and all two half brothers.)
>Younger brother breaks up with girlfriend because she aborted their child
>He's upset she moved on
>My dad speaks reason to him
>Younger brother (my uncle) commits suicide and the suicide note arrives on my parents wedding anniversary
>Note is allegedly unhinged and says nasty things that shouldn't be repeated
>My mom starts resenting my dad
End of prologue.

>Dad is a doctor, mom is a failed elementary teacher

>Don't know yet but she has bipolar disorder and explosive personality disorder
>She spent money like crazy chasing that high because of growing up poor and being bipolar
>Mom is physically and emotionally abusive with hoarding tendencies
>Dad is routinely physically abused by mom who throws drinks and silverware at my dad
>She routinely scratched his skin and would leave deep marks on him
>Dad works long hours to pay bills to get home and do laundry, cook, and clean.
>Mom tells her friends from college that she is being physically abused by her husband (not true)
>Gets her friend to call Police on my dad for her
>Dad is arrested and kicked out of the house with restraining order
>Begins the start of diminished employment for my father because of her false testimony
>Mom drops charges
>Dad comes back
>Idk how many years later Mom is throwing things at my dad and scaring me so I threaten to call the police on her
>Stupid me pressed 911 thinking I would threaten to press dial but the call goes through anyways
>Dispatch now talking to me
>Police arrive
>Spill my 8 year old heart to police about how the police are sexist because they assume my dad is at fault
>say that my dad has to leave (even though it was my mom who is the abuser)
>My testimony is why they released him instead of locking him up that night
>This time she files for divorce and plays everyone's sympathies in Court
>Mother has been messaging another doctor half way across the country to live with him
>She has a plan to fly away to him
>delusional because she also has three kids she also wants custody of
>All of her negative traits prevent her from effectively carrying out her plan
>They don't get divorced because he agrees to get her a new minivan
>Older brother and I struggling with debilitating depression and schooling respectively
>Dad despite being the super dad that he is, scares me at times (type A personality) because he he is understandably frustrated with his wife
>Super dad homeschooled me for a year while I catch up to my peers in reading and math
>He taught me to love math and books
>Starts her slow decline in cognition over the course of 3 decades
>Despite her terrorizing our family I still love her
>She is still the most tragic case I can think of worse than my brothers or I
>She is diagnosed with a heart disease caused by genetic blood disease
>Enter the medical years of concern for her health and longevity
>Her admittance to the psych ward on thee occasions because of her manic phases
>Older brother who cracked in highschool has three suicide attempts under his belt by this point two of which I prevented, one an overdose and the other a firearm purchase I confiscated
>Mom in her craziness saves his life by doing a crazy U turn on the inner state highway at night after he jumps out of her car into oncoming traffic on the highway
>His military surplus parka saves him from any scratches of the pavement
>He gets admitted voluntary
>Ward doesn't even believe the miracle that is his survival that time
>Fast forward to now and I have learned to adapt to crushing pressure of my crazy family life
>Have helped my mom through her psych episodes, her diabetes and sepsis hospital visits
>Have helped dad through leg injury and heart surgery
>Parents are still together but my brothers and I are still living with them to keep them alive and healthy as we ourselves are incapable of living on our own
>Older brother has proven genetic link to moms psychology
>I'm the most capable and stable
>Younger brother is smartest of us, but a social dunce
>I avoided other people to save myself the embarrassment of my mother, mostly because of her hoarding
>The master bedroom for as long as I can remember has been filled with clothes and mail and newspapers since I was a small child despite my father emptying it on several occasions.
>We can no longer hold back her tide and the whole house has nearly been filled with her junk
>She is the most convincing argument for demons as she has the energy of ten men when it comes to protecting her trash and she can't look me in the eyes when she's angry, instead she looks past me up and to the right (it creeps me out)
>For those reasons I am a wizard along with my brothers
>My younger and I don't even have the desire to seek out succubi while my older is morbidly obese now and delusional about finding a wife one day.
I'm afraid to form attachments knowing what could be waiting for me out there, knowing that any succubus worth dating should run from me and my family and also because I'm struggling with the fact that my parents probably won't live much longer and I can't yet support myself.
How is anyone supposed to live as my father's parents did that made his family so stable as to allow him to achieve his goals of going to medical school?
I just want a second chance at life in a family that is functional, though I have always had the love of my father who is my hero to this day.


Why your father married your mother?


This is why normies say don't stick your dick in crazy,she probably baby trapped him before revealing her crazy


No, she wasn't didn't show any signs until after her brother committed suicide, her mother did though.
My dad was naive because he grew up in a healthy home. He was very idealistic and thought that people could overcome the results of their upbringing.
His mother was against it but not outwardly.
His mother respected his choices.
My dad tells me she said, don't bother giving to charity, because her family is going to fill that role in his life
Partially true, my dad paid on several occasions to keep her family and their home afloat.
Bought them a new heater, helped her pay bills sometimes.
Sad thing is, the house was left to her when her mother died, and my mother didn't trust my dad with it because he had taken money out of her account to pay her debts once. She still thinks he owes her that money but she's stopped bringing it up in the last 10 years.
Basically look at a succubus's mother and that's what she's likely to be when she's older.
My mother never did have her affair like her mother before her (she's the result of it).
But not for lack of trying.
It's crazy though that my mother has lived this long consider all her conditions. They all work against her to make management difficult.
If she has a blood sugar spike she goes manic and gets an infection, resulting in hallucinations, if she's in that state she can't keep track of her heart medications and starts having heart palpitations and retaining water, but we've always caught it before it has a chance to kill her.
She has now lost two of her toes to diabetes, and all her teeth.
I hate seeing her like this even though she is the source of all my pain.
I look back at pictures of her when she was in middle school and think how different her life could have been.


Sorry I didn't address your full post.
No she didn't baby trap him.
My parents didn't get married or have sex until after he graduated from medical school.
My mom had often complained about how she wanted to have children when she was younger so she could've had a daughter.
I think the crazy only can live on through daughters.
My older brother who sends to have inherited that will likely never have children.
If I had a sister she probably would've continued the cycle.
It dies with him.
Again though, my parents were both virgins who were raised Christian and were married as virgins.
I know they aren't lying, they've told Mr or their past relationships and my mother can no longer keep secrets due to her mental state.
She has a sick enjoyment of making my dad uncomfortable by mentioning the sex they had recently in front of my brothers and I.
She would have long ago said something to the effect that she liked other men better if she had the experience.
She has told me of perverts she's encountered in her life and a middle school sleepover she walked home from because they wanted her to join in a sex game in the woods where the boys chased the succubi in pairs and when they caught them had their way,
Obviously not appealing to a virgin.
Anyways my oldest brother I think was conceived during my dad's residency.


Idk if it counts as traumatic exactly but it was the saddest moment in my life thus far and I'll always remember it.

In my sophomore year a very popular jock kid was killed in a car accident over the summer. I lived in a small town so everyone knew him and everyone went to the funeral. I wasn't exactly friends with him but I knew his father from my little league team and he was one of the nicer fathers who was always happy and proud of his star athlete kid. I had to watch him cry his eyes out as his son was lowered into the ground. I won't forget that scene.


>Middle of the night.
>Hear LOUD mumbling in the middle of the night.
>Go out to kitchen.
>See my mother on the floor.
>Completely incoherent, but trying to flail around.
>Alcohol is fucking EVERYWHERE.
>Try to talk to her.
>Sort of recognizes me, sort of doesn't.
>Don't know what to do.
>Stay with her for a while.
>I see her reaching for a beer.
>In my child-brain I think, "Oh, she wants water."
>Get her to drink water. I remember it being very difficult given how she could barely hold her head up.
>After an hour and some more water she becomes coherent again.
>Yells at me in incredibly slurred that she wants to sleep.
>Try to drag her from kitchen floor, but she is too heavy.
>Bring out pillow and blankets to let her sleep on the kitchen floor.

I have lots of memories of my mother being a really, REALLY bad alcoholic, but that one was probably the worst (*). I legit thought she was going to die and thinking back I feel like I felt like I was going to watch my mother die in my hands. In retrospect, I was old enough to know to call for an ambulance, but I was too panic stricken in the moment to do that.

And then I have family ask me why I don't drink, why I don't have a gf, etc.. Like what the fuck did you expect I'd do growing up with that shit?

That's the most traumatic experience I remember. Probably the most traumatic experience I ever had was being hit in the head with a 7-iron. I know you guys are going to ask me for more details, but I have none: getting hit in the head with a 7-iron kind of makes you a little sketchy on any details.

I sometime think about the kids growing up in single mother fentanyl-addict homes. If I got fucked up by an alcoholic mother, I can only imagine how broken those folks are.

(*) The worst aspect is how regular an occurrence it was. Having to babysit a child that's actually far older and bigger than you while knowing that you can't really share any memories because the constant drinking puts them in a near-permanent state of anterograde amnesia.

I sometimes find myself looking up Muslim countries with no alcohol use and wondering how good/bad those countries really are to live in.


File: 1679372002259.jpg (97.61 KB, 640x480, 4:3, justendit.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

I don't really have a big traumatic experience. For me it was more about my mother being a massive cunt, constantly threatening me with physical violence, yelling at me, using shame as a tool to manipulate me into doing whatever she wanted. Watching my brothers get pummeled by her didn't help either. All of this made me fearful and weak, I developed this compliant and submissive personality as a defensive mechanism just so she wouldn't beat my sorry ass. Fuck, what a massive cunt.

I guess all of that it's already pretty bad as it is, but if I had to pick a single experience that could be classified as traumatic that would had to be this sleepover I went when I was in elementary school. I was around 10 or 11 yo at the time and don't really remember all of the details, but I certainly remember how I felt and how things went over all.

>go to my friend's house for the sleepover

>he was alone that night, his parents went out a lot and let him do whatever he wanted pretty much
>cunt doesn't ask too many questions because friend lives really close to our house, like 2 blocks
>we were 4 or maybe 5 guys, I only remember clearly 3 of them, but there might have been a 4th guy
>night goes as you would expect, we played some vidya and stuff
>at some point they start watching porn
>I get really uncomfortable
>they sense that I wasn't into it
>they start harassing me, hitting me and calling me names
>the hitting wasn't too hard, not outright punches, but a lot of kick and flailing me around
>at one point I start crying
>try to hide in my sleeping bag
>they keep hitting me
>I go to another room while still inside of my sleeping bag to cry in peace
>they follow me and hit me some more
>don't remember what happens next. I might have fall asleep at some point
>the next day I go back home and never talk about this with anyone, though cunt might have reacted really badly because she was really jealous with her exclusive beating rights over her children

I think that day I learned that you couldn't trust anyone, be it family or friends. That was the day I finally realized how alone I was in this hostile and terrible world, with potential enemies waiting at every corner. I almost unlearned that when I made some cool friends in college, but since I was already too damaged from a lifetime of abuse I couldn't trust them and eventually lost them. The only thing I can hope for now is for this nightmare to end.


File: 1679801933332.png (5.8 KB, 500x250, 2:1, Oekaki.png) ImgOps iqdb

>be born
>get circumcised immediately after
>autistic psychopath for life
>no cure of any kind will exist in my lifetime


I don't have any external trauma, just internal trauma for being a giant faggot who deserved what he got mostly.


The most I can ever manage is to allude to it. I’ve had horrific things done to me since I was a child. Basically every single kind of horrible thing that can be done to someone was done to me, physically and psychologically. I was treated like less than dirt, everything about me was exploited and harmed.
I watched people I loved die in my arms, screaming and covered in blood. It blindsides me, sometimes in the middle of the night, sometimes when I’m just walking down the street. It’s like my legs turn to jelly and everything fades away at the edges and I can feel them there in my hands again, their dying bodies. Life feels like a complete sick joke now. How am I supposed to be optimistic and do all this stupid fucking pretend shit day in and day out and pretend to care about shallow mundane pointless life after all that? I’m supposed to be placated by sunsets and new shows. I’m not. I’m a kid forced to stand out in the street naked in the snow, I’m holding a dying baby, I’m being dragged by my hair and hit in the head and spat on, in the back of my mind 24/7. My mother said she used to cry and wish I was never born. She’s right, I shouldn’t have been. There’s no reason any life should be like this, ever. People should get to be happy. Or even just okay. Even just safe.


I remember 3 events around grade 3.

>My class was made to watch succubus give birth with a bunch of blood and "gore". No idea why. It was really out of the blue and strange from what I recall. Hard to know if there was any psychological effect, but I think so.

>A kid from a troubled household forced me and my friend to undress in bathroom at school. Thankfully nothing beyond that. Suspect it might've caused at least a moderate amount of psychological damage.

>Accidentally hurt my best friend. The damage was very minor, but there was a lot of blood. I remember it being incredibly stressful. It literally felt like I had committed murder, I was crying etc. I begged for forgiveness and for it to be kept secret. It was really exaggerated, I guess. Things really took a nosedive after that event. The friendship faded, I became introverted, had a sort of obsession with secrets after that for a good while.

Probably an event that really derailed my life, I suspect.


So school bullies really do strip you naked just like in The Simpsons


I was banned from Reddit for making a post about killing children on R/Childfree.
The admins obviously are discriminatory against schizophrenics, since some of my other posts were about having schizophrenia….. They should have given me a warning, but instead permanently suspended my account for the phony reason "Violence."

What's wrong with advocating binding childrens' lips together with acid and then tearing a hole in their cheeks for food and water? Children should GROW THE FUCK UP ALREADY….. I'm sick of seeing screaming children in restaurants. LOBOTOMIZE them already, for Christs' sake. The Terrible Twos should be cured with violence…. Fuck Reddit and child lovers.


Growing up with an alcoholic mother eventually turned me into an alcoholic. Thankfully I won't have children and perpetuate the trauma, and will instead die alone and rot into the floor where I belong.


In my school, every class had a "watch week" where every member of the class had to stay in his/her assigned area and watch for older kids not to run in the hallways and stuff like that during every break time.

So it was our class turn. I was in 7th grade back then, 13 years old or so. I've been assigned to stay in the Eastern part of the 3rd floor, where 4th and 5th graders' classes were. Even though I was very diligent on my duty, kids were running and playing and doing shit, I only stopped and scolded the most violent ones.

And there was one succubus, who ran like crazy, playing catch and run or something with her classmates. I stopped her several times, showed her my duty badge and told not to run in the hallways. Each time she glared at me like she wanted to kill me.

So after all the lessons were over, no more shifts left, I was preparing to go home, when that succubus approached me and said her mom wanted to see me. I followed her to the exit, and this mom upon seeing me, started to shout at me, saying that I've beated up her daughter, and that she cried from all the bruises I inflicted on her. I said that I haven't touched her once and that I only said her not to run in the hallways, but she did not believe me, and slapped me several times in the face, that hurt really badly, but I didn't cry. She then threatened me that she would tell all the teachers and principal if i approach her daughter once again. All this time, by the way, her daughter was weeping, with a look like I raped her or something worse. I said okay to her mother and they left.

That was the story. I didn't say anyone anything what happened then. The only thing I did is that never again through any of my shifts I stopped or scolded anyone again.


What the fuck?
I guess some kind of psychopathy must run in the family.

Why didn't you tell anyone?


File: 1680606812468.png (151.13 KB, 1200x800, 3:2, Catcher-in-the-rye-2.0-411….png) ImgOps iqdb

Similar thing happened to me once. I was about 6 and watched my mom get yelled at by some junkie at school because apparently I had an altercation with her kid. I consider this unlikely, because I'm not very confrontational even back then and I don't remember having a problem with anyone. Anyway, I had to sit there and watch my mom just stare helplessly at this drug addict subhuman yell at her at the top of her lungs because that's what normal reasonable people do when their little shit hellspawn encounter a typical childhood confrontation.


Funny, I once did the same thing as that little cunt. I used to skip the school a lot. Mom sent me to school in the morning but instead of going there I would go sit in the park daydreaming on a bench, or just randomly walking the streets until mom left to work so I could go back home. So one time I managed to skip through an entire week. Of course, my math teacher who was in charge of our class had noticed this and gave a call to my mom. That was the angriest i've ever seen her. My stupid ass was terrified, so I blurted that I am being bullied, insulted, humialiated by this one succubus and her friends, that is why I don't want to go there.
Of course, it was a lie. The succubus indeed was a fucking bitch and called me names, but I exaggerated the whole thing quite severely. Mom went to school on the next day and scolded the succubus so much she cried. Practically for no reason.
Had to switch schools, because I knew they'd bully me to death should I return.
God, I was such a retard. Sorry for lying to you, mom, rest in peace. Sorry for I did what I did to you too, O, though you were a cuntbag sometimes.


this is very common behavior for children to do, I've probably heard about similar situations to this 100 different times. It happens at an age where the child learns that they can manipulate their parents by lying but they've also not developed any kind of morals yet. I think the results of this eventually cause the child to feel negative emotions like regret and it teaches them about honesty or other similar virtues, although some psychos dont feel this and continue the behavior indefinitely


i would have taken that personal if someone dare to slap me when i didnt do jack shit.


Someone <b>too</b> into scat posted their gifs on crystal.cafe when I was just peacefully scrolling there.


Your mom was cool dude, I wish my parents shouted at my bullies like that.


Usually before posting in a thread I read the every post, or if the thread is long, the bottom 20-50 response chains. But I'm not going to read any from this thread because it may trigger my post-traumatic stress, or enrage me at the injustices done to my fellow wizards.

I'll post a less horrific experience: My father, when trying to find out who did something, would ask the nearest one of us (me or one of my older brothers) if we did it, then the second nearest, the the third nearest, then the third nearest. If you denied it, he'd take your word for it unless you were the last one he asked. I don't know if I'm explaining it right, but this meant whoever was the farthest away from him when he found someone broke the rules would be the one to get punished; he would take the first three for their word when they pleaded innocent, but not the fourth and final of us.

[Last 50 Posts]
[Go to top] [Catalog] [Return][Post a Reply]
Delete Post [ ]
[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ] [  Textboard ] [  Wiki ]