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/dep/ - Depression

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I'm too scared. Just the thought of it makes me feel fear. I'm scared of dying AND death. I'm afraid of dying painfully. And I'm also afraid of death itself. The thought of non-existence and not being able to think is incomprehensible and scary to me.

So that's what's stopping me. I don't want to feel pain, but even the rope can be extremely painful. The only quick and painless way are guns. A glock 20 to the head is quick and painless. But I can't get guns in my country. But they're only way I want to go.
And even if I had the gun, my fear of death would probably stop me from pulling the trigger.

I don't know what to do…


y u wana die


What about other pathways?

Medication, therapy, exercise, hobbies, volunteering somewhere


Most users here will probably be hostile because I'm only 20, but here's a summary:
>I'm from europe and still go to school because I repeated a year, I'm in grade 13
>I graduate next year and don't know what to do. I likely will go to university because what else should I do?
>Nothing interests me, I want to study IT even though I know nothing about computers and I'm shit at math. I'm also a big procrastinator with no self-control. I just don't know what else to do, and I don't want to have a job where I have to socialize much
>I'm not diagnosed with anything but I'm definitely mentally ill, probably autism. Everything feels like too much and I constantly need help from others. I'm like a child that's trapped in the body of an adult. I can't do anything and I will never be able to live independently. I don't know how I'm supposed to work
>Outside of school I sometimes work part-time in a warehouse and that already feels like way too much.
>My family is absolutely dysfunctional, and my father makes no secret on how he hates my mother and me.
>I also have general hatred on the world and the system we live in

I just want to escape this place.


Read the Peaceful pill handbook, I think it was called. It's about a way out, if u are still interested and committed to this.
Instead of asking how to end your life. But you make it sound like u need advice on life instead of death


File: 1668402395060.pdf (5.53 MB, Surreal Numbers 1974 - Don….pdf)

you should stick in there and move out, maybe see a therapist especially because IT is a great wizardly job, and you should just be hopeful to making enough to move out asap hating the world is normal but doesnt help and only gave me stomach pain. since you mention adult-child you can look into a few different types of self therapy involving that like child memory work. everyone is bad at math
> Young man, in mathematics you don't ever understand, you just get more familiar with it
Von Neumann
also IT doesnt even necesarilly require much math, I just like doing math because its like fun little puzzles that are useful. Thats the spirit of some of my favorite computer scientists and mathematicians, Knuth, Conway (file related). Fun playful little puzzlers.


I'm in the same exact position as you, do you have discord or something?


This is very easy. You take a lot of xanax (overdose) and then go on top of 20th story building.
Then you jump out head first.
Good luck, this should work 100% of the time.
If you are unable to do this, you are a coward loser. :)


You'll get over fear of death with time just relax and don't worry about it. The grim reaper comes for us all in due time. I used to be like you scared of death but now I welcome it honestly. There's so much pain in this world


You can survive a gunshot wound to the head.


are you me?


>If you are unable to do this, you are a coward loser.
I know that I'm a coward.


>The thought of non-existence
Don't worry about that part, its not that easy to escape existence.


Welcome to the last 21 years of my life


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Thinking of Kms with 12g of pure caffeine and some pills filled with drain cleaner (sodium hydroxide) as the latter is irreversible but don't wanna survive and fuck up my voice or something and I don't want to be awake for it but I'm looking for something else that I can get in Shetland that I could take in addition kill me


>looking for something else that I can get in Shetland that I could take in addition kill me
Try a knife.


Good call I thought to use an electric chainsaw on the cliffs edge to cut my stomach before falling into the sea/rocks so as not to float.

Don't have good info on how long it takes for the >10g of caffeine overdose to do it's thing but I filled my fluoxitine pill cases with caustic soda but worried I'd be suffering for hours or even months if I fuck it up.

Don't know where to score some roofies but wanna go to sleep while the drain cleaner turns my organs to soap.

Just don't want to get caught, what other pills can I take to hasten death?


fuck man, is everybody going to disappear off this site? Am I the only content wizard left on wizchan?


Try 4 Chan's /f/


exit bag > chemical suicide


Tried helium but didn't use a proper exit bag so it fucked up,
The suspense during the wait drive's me nuts and I'm extremely impatient!
Need something that's gonna keep going even if I puss out halfway through.


Where do I buy a decent exit bag in the UK?
Still want chemical recommendations though what pills to take after caffeine before caustic soda?


is helium illegal in the UK i dont really understand in burgerland its for sale in every big chain grocery store to sell balloons.


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You can get helium on eBay in the UK but not sure how much you need but the design is not airtight so as not to pop but if it's too lose or runs out too quickly it won't work, where to get a decent exit bag?


thick plastic bag like contractor bags, ducting, zip ties, its very easy to make from home improvement stores


it should be air tight, you fill it once with helium and close the tank.


Could probably find some decent bags somewhere but it can take time,

Last time I tried just a regular oxygen mask to the tank and pussed out after a few minutes anyway,
Kinda want a ready made exit bag so I can have confidence it's a good one and also support the gigachads who sell them online (where buy?)

Even so with caffeine as long as you aren't discovered you basically start throwing up get knackered and eventually black out and die so long as you don't get caught and given potassium IV etc
So maybe a few hours of agony followed by sweet realease of death.
Hell there's news stories about derpy gymcells puting it in their protein shakes and dieing overnight.


exit bag is not-resuscitate


Exit bag is suffocate


they cant bring back a suffication contra overdose

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