/dep/ - Depression

Last September I applied to several universities. English isn't my first language and it was one of my favourite subjects at both elementary and high school and because I never had any friends I grew up reading a lot, so I wanted to major in English Studies to become a translator or something. My parents thought otherwise so they forced me to put a medical university as my top choice and an engineering one as my second (my parents too had to sign my application papers). They made me take advanced chemistry and biology classes in high school and I did poorly on them, but I aced my other exams so even though I didnt get into medical school they accepted me into engineering.
I hated every day at school because the "everyone in stem is a nerd" stereotype is a myth and all of the people in my group were insufferable normgroids.
At first I thought maybe I could finally have some friends and break out of my solitude and I could just finally develop social skills after almost 20 years but I was so wrong. I can't make small talk at all so I just tried joining their mundane conversations about homework, drinking and ect but they just didn't let me. They would often talk over me and generally noone would listen or reply to me. One day I was sitting at one table with my peers at school, but because nobody was making any conversation I played Morrowind on my laptop. One guy came up to me and told me that he has heard about this game before and called it Skyrim so I tried to politely tell him that he's wrong because this is Morrowind and I sperged out a bit and told him that it was way earlier and that it's set in an entirely different era and how it's better than Skyrim (I love Skyrim too) and everyone just sort of stared at me with a dumbfounded expression until one succubus laughed awkardly at the guy getting the games mixed up, but this isn't the point.
I've never really been exceptionally good at math or any stem subjects so at the end of my first term I've managed to fail at 3 of my classes. I don't even know how I got accepted because all of my classmates were studious normies who took advanced math and programming classes. While the only things we ever did in my IT classes were Powerpoint and other Microshart Office products, most of them were already proficient in Python, HTML and ect and there was even a guy who came here as a certified C++ programmer (whatever that means) and instead of writing an appeal to not have to attend programming classes he just sat through every lesson, bored out of his mind after he solved everything under 10 minutes. It felt so demoralizing when I got a question wrong in calculus and a guy scoffed/laughed at me.
I really tried to succeed but I was simply not smart enough. I did all of my homework, I spent hours studying, I woke up at 6am every morning and was never late to any of my lessons, I did extra work and got no credits for it and I still failed 3 of my subjects. After this I lost all desire to continue studying engineering. I spent my entire winter break playing video games and i forgot about school so I missed the application date.
My parents and grandmother were furious and my mother threatened to beat me multiple times because of this. She used to hit me as a kid but now that I'm a grown up and have been lifting in my bedroom for a couple years she doesn't dare to do so anymore. At one time in my childhood when I was around 8 years old and Adventure time was a new series on Cartoon Network she told me to go to the bathroom so that she could wash me and I asked her whether I could finish the episode I was watching because there were 5 minutes left and it was new she got so angry at me that she dragged me into the bathroom by my hair and when she let go I started shaking in fear, covering my entire head with my arm so that she couldn't hit me so she started rattling my arms while yelling at me to let go of my head.
Because I failed 3 classes I couldn't take up their continuations in the spring term and because it's spring there aren't any of those classes starting. Just today I got an email from my school stating that if I don't complete 30-30 credits in my first 2 terms my contract with the school will be terminated except if I use my one time chance to write an appeal to the dean, but because my parents told me that I absolutely can't miss this term I already used up my appeal to write to the school to allow me sign up for the spring term late, but I failed 3 classes so I can't take up enough classes to get 30 credits. I dread telling my parents because my dad was never an angry man and he never scolded me but when this whole ordeal happened he too was furious at me and when I showed my OpenTTD city to my grandmother she told me that "she wants to fucking hit me because I can make something this complicated but I fucked up my applications". Noone on my family ever did anything against my mom hitting me and I fear that after this she will beat me again.
Do you have any advice as to how I could defuse this situation?