/dep/ - Depression

This is a thread dedicated to those poor souls among us who battle with chronic pain or illness alongside mental illness.

What do you suffer from? How do you cope with the pain? Have you come to terms with it? How do you see your future living with whatever it is that you have?

I suffer from chronic pelvic pain/chronic prostatitis/pudental neuralgia since I was 14 and I'm now 25. Its been 10 years of hell, pointless research and doctor after doctor appointment only to be dismissed and let down time after time. I have consumed tons worth of bibliography in an attempt to get to the bottom of this on my own, also in vain. I've tried all kinds of meds, psychotherapy, physical therapy, exercise to no avail. It has now began to dawn on me that there might be no fix, and this thought fills me with horror because i really can't imagine going through an entire life like this. The pain has progressively advanced to the point where I cant sit for more than 30 minutes at a time without wanting to jump out of my chair. I cant engage with my hobbies anymore because of it and the only thing Im left to do when I'm not spending agonizing hours sitting at work is lay in bed with a heat pad and look at my phone/ceiling. My genitals are constantly painful, numb and shrivelled up as if was outside in the freezing cold. Theres a constant dreadful feeling of tightness and a pulling sensation. I'm unable to maintain an erection, my libido has been obliterated and it feels like I've been completely robbed of my sexuality and masculinity since my early teens, which has deeply wounded my psyche in fucked up ways. I could go on forever but you get the gist. This thing has completely consumed my mind and my life. I dont want to wake up tomorrow. This is my story and my own little personal hell and purgatory. I'd like to hear about yours.