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 No.276114[View All]

Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.
271 posts and 21 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


Me too i LDARmaxx with anime or comics, i cant even get the energy to play games. Hoping for bux


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Had my last chemo infusion. My stomach hurts


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Hope you feel better man.


Thanks anon
To better days, right? Relapse is still possible. I feel dirty defaulting to the most pessimistic outlook, but it hasn't failed me so far.


I wish I was dead


whats the point


There isn't, have fun!


Should i cut out my brothers friend? Couple of days ago we were hanging out and in his drunken/high stupor he joked on me being academic failure. I did finish college but I'm struggling to use my degree. This is an issue i take close to my heart and it did cut quite deep. I was a good student and then depression/anxiety messed me up.
So should i keep a distance from this guy or what, he always respected my odd/wizardly ways but he revealed himself once the alcohol took effect. I'm deeply disappointed.
As for why i occasionally hang out with my brothers friends? One reason is that they respect me out of respect for my brother, the other is I'm still human and want irl contact from time to time. I hope i don't offend anyone by this in here.
Inb4 not a truwiz bpa bla idc


What did you study?


Please tell us more about your social activities.


I want to die.


My life is terrible.


I have so much anger of being a wageslave. Is this it? I curse God everyday even though i don't believe in its existence. Fuck God. Fuck Morals. Money opens the path to freedom anything else is cope. If i had enough money i would become one of those be positive guys. I would exercise. I would work on myself. I would escape into whatever fiction worlds i love. I would be a archwizardmage hidden in his pocketdimension studying the arcane. But no, on monday i gotta sell my soul/ass to corporate archons. Fuck you demiurge, piece of shit. I hope death is the end, i don't wanna loop this existence ever again.


Wake up > work > drive home > sleep
This has got to be a joke.


I'm starting to just lay in bed when I'm not working. A 30 year old man laying in bed at 12 pm is a sorry sight, I admit, but I'm done trying to fritter away time, pretending I care. I'm done


It's funny, they really did find a new god after god's death. It's money, Money is the new god and answers to your problems. Without money you cannot access the most basic of resources, prayers won't put food on the table or treat your illnesses.


I will never take my place in the world. I know this and it causes me a lot of suffering.
It's like I'm not oriented properly, which forces me to live contrary to my nature, which causes my life to be a horrible nightmare.


>Have been showing heavy symptoms of essenetial tremor or parkinsons disease for years.

I'll never forgive my parents for concieving me. I hate living with the fact that I'll always be a comeplete dysgenic mess and there's nothing I can do to change any of it. All I wish for is to be physically and mentally normal (without being stuck within the normgroid hive-like mindset of course) but thats too much to ask for in this life.


Christ, I fucking hate "living". Why am I still here? Why haven't I hanged myself yet?


Today I didn't do anything. Just slept all day. There's absolutely nothing interesting to do.


The dangers of worshiping money and other such things are even in the old testamet. I reckon you'd find it a corrupting force in damn near any culture, regardless of its historical religious tendencies.

Although it sounds like you might be tipping in to a discussion of currencies in general, since systems of barter, fuedalism, or whatever else can also be used to put food on the table when there isn't a lot of money (or even currency) passing hands so easily like in today's world.


I don’t like being alive :)


I don't either. What kind of god bound us so cruelly to these bodily shells that we can't even voluntarily escape without the use of violence. god is a beast. I want to go home.


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I had one of the moments again where I wondered how I managed to make it till 30 without learning a single skill.

Then I felt overwhelmed just doing anything that is not sitting at the computer browsing.

Even making simple scrambled eggs felt like effort. Watched what was called a simple recipe and felt overwhelmed by the steps and the stuff I need to buy first because I lack basic kitchen tools from years of pre-made food.

I'm kinda hoping that running out of things to distract myself with will finally get me to do something but I still managed to waste HOURS playing a shitty game I hate and reading brainrot inducing posts on imageboards.

No wonder I got nowhere when everything feels this exhausting. And of course any advice like meditate, work out, take 100 different supplements is also too exhausting for me to follow.


I don't even play video games. I wish I could waste time like that.


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Im really considering upping-up my disability fraud and welfare bux scheme
I already disab.bux + leech off parents, but I crave MORE! Im trying to get political connections, starting smallt-town, to receive (((benefits))) or such. Taxation is an enemy to defeat! besides that, being an itinerant herbalist seems like my best bet.
free inter-provincial public transport is a huge plus.


The past year I have gone full schizo, this on top me being near-suicidal. I hear voices of demons taunting me. They also visit in my dreams. I've also had a vision of some good supernatural being. God or an angel maybe. I don't go to a psychiatrist because in my country it's very easy to get institutionalised against your will for mental illness. I don't believe that death is the end anymore, there is some kind of afterlife. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. There are supernatural beings out there wizfriends.


I don't play video games but _the same_ 2 games I hate but got into a habit of playing since they require no time commitment or learning new mechanics or reading dialogue or sitting through cut scenes

I actually got quite the backlog that I have yet to finish.

Wasting time is no fun when you are procrastinating something and a loser with no job or skills.


Wizzie i read that untreated schizophrenia is no good, are you sure you can't get help
Please consider it again


I don't care. Nothing is going to get better. I shouldn't need to work this hard just to be half halfway normal. I give up. No more waking up at 5am to study. No more studying after work, half dead with worry and fatigue. I give up.


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I don't really have any trouble focussing or doing boring things once I set my mind to something. It's rather a kind of a FOMO and a lack of passion I have, where I can't pick anything to specialize in, to get really good at.
Good point about not being able to do many things alone.


The afterlife and supernatural are cope. Life is both boring and shitty as it is. I’d welcome something to put an end to this charade.


I always thought calling something "cope" was stupid. It's stupid 4chan lingo like Autist, sneed, whatever else that just gets mindlessly repeated.


The living are deaf.


Never thought I'd find one of my countrymen here. Greetings from the South.


Woke up for another day of suffering.


Had to venture forth into the outside as a hikki today.
Dreaded it for a long time.

Had to prostrate myself before my new GP and be as pathetic as possible basically for highest possible chance of referral to a shrink.
I feel pathetic and awful. It was really uncomfortable. Talking about having taken to the bottle on the job a bunch of years ago, etc.
Just all kind of personal and humiliating shit.

Oh well. Could have gone a lot worse, I suppose. I'm very relieved to have gotten it over with at least.


Time to get our asses up and form a dream-team to kill demiurgus. The guys goes really insane, I hate him so fucking much!


How do normies have so much to talk about?


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How do you burn up 16 hours of conscious experience every day for the rest of your life?

I can't express how much pressure I feel in the present moment. To say too much is to look like a whiney pseudo-philosopher. Say too little and it's all lost. Fucking ffgfuck


Maybe they're happy, so they're compelled to. Or, they think it's worth doing. If I were happy, I'd love to talk to people. But I'm not, so I dont.


I think doing nothing might be the ultimate infraction. Everything in the world has it's little role, to reject this is to reject all possible potential realities and functions, accruing stacks of negative not-living life debt, with which life rejects you.


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How is there something so wrong with me where I ended up wasting years of my life doing nothing?

Drug addicts at least made some kind of social experiences and have something to blame that people can understand.

Video game/Movie/tv show addicts at least gained some experience/knowledge in that area.

Meanwhile I browsed imageboards and kept playing the same handful of games and rewatching the same handful of tv shows. Doing shit like watching car reviews when I don't have a license or money for a car is just such a ridiculously braindead waste of time. Or watching an entire food recipe but not cooking it ever.

Every time I explain this to people they understandably dont get it.


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I don't really care about wasting my life anymore. I don't even know what I should do with my life and i'm not motivated or care about doing anything. I feel like i'll regret it when i'm older but my excuse seems valid because what can I do if I don't want to do fucking anything? Everything seems so boring and annoying.


>Video game/Movie/tv show addicts at least gained some experience/knowledge in that area.
>Meanwhile I browsed imageboards and kept playing the same handful of games and rewatching the same handful of tv shows. Doing shit like watching car reviews when I don't have a license or money for a car is just such a ridiculously braindead waste of time. Or watching an entire food recipe but not cooking it ever.

Don't you see how you contradict yourself?
Didn't you "at least gain some experience/knowledge" in those other areas? How does movies, games, and TV shows count, but not 'internet culture/everything misc', car shit, and cooking?


Like I said I just kept doing the same shit out of fear of having to open myself to a new unfamiliar experience that might be challenging or turn out bad. In the time I entertained myself with the same 3 video games and tv shows I could have played like 100+ different ones. Watching videos about stuff I don't actually do made me forget everything quickly since I don't apply the knowledge and don't have a photographic memory.


fuck that. people have been locked up for believing in conspiracy theories in my country. this isn't america
cope? how does the existence of god and demons make your life less shitty? In fact it makes it worse in my view. "the pain will stop after you die with eternal non-existence" is the real cope in my view


Haven’t you ever heard the phrase, “religion is the opium of the masses”? This is true for many reasons. Religion has been used for centuries as a tool of control by the ruling parties to pacify the masses. This is definitely not a bad thing, as it served as a system which gave order to the chaos that was the brutal life back then. Believing in some sort of all loving entity who would watch over you is more or less just gaslighting yourself into thinking “someone” cares. That there is some kind of justice in the world instead of the purely unfair horseshit that goes on.

Once again, I’m not saying this is a bad thing. It’s given a great sense of peace to many lives, but that doesn’t discount the fact that it’s still “cope”. It’s still an opiate that will distract you from your problems.

I’m not really looking to debate this, but my personal opinion is that I find it difficult to believe god exists given everything that goes on the world without a single shred of intervention. I don’t see any proof of karma or divine order, just mankind creating their own evils in greater and greater quantity. It seems likely to me that it’s lights out after death, we just seem like entirely unimportant animals with overly tuned consciousness.



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