Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.
Whatever comes after death, it can't be worse than this, right?
Why do people think money solves all problems? Even if I were a billionaire, I'd still be unhappy. My problem is spiritual.
You could use that money to buy yourself a 24/7 spiritual teacher or maybe even several. You wouldn't have to work and you could focus solely on your spiritual journey and finding "happiness" whatever the fuck that means.
Because it spares you the trouble of messing with all the wagecuck bullshit and other money-related problems.
You're right. But it would be nice to have drugs
crab hate should be a bannable offense, everyone so far who hates crabs was either non-virgin or female
there's no death. death is just a window to jump into a new (perhaps worse) body.
I'll take those odds.
You're already in the worse and better bodies.
My grand plan was that once I ran out of distractions I would become productive but what happened instead is that I just feel even more depressed and lonely and have even less energy to do stuff than I did when I spent 16 hours a day on imageboards when they were still novel to me.
Normalfags really have it backwards. Productivity arises from mental wellness when they think it's the other way around. (In fact many normalfags truisms are like this, confusing cause and effect).
You can't force yourself to be productive. It's not a thing.
Difference between levels of suffering. If you have money you are inoculated against many of the demands and external stressors of the world. If you’re a fucked up retard who keeps getting fired from jobs from fucking up in constant mental stress, getting welfare significantly improves your life.
If your poor life is just mediocre life that is equal to sitting at home doing nothing with money then you’re a lucky person in this world.
I’m wearing a hat
I bought a hat
I’m a hat guy now
Always wearing a hat
Nearly went to sleep wearing it
I’m that much of a hat guy
This hat really is the start of something new
Wearing a hat
No longer sad
Wearing a hat
As you get older as a wizard the problem of boredom becomes harder and harder to solve. I'm really banging my head against the wall trying to find anything to absorb my attention.
Can boredom be painful? Does any wizz know what I'm talking about? Like physically painful
Yes, I've complained about boredom a couple of times here. I'm 25 and I've gained so much weight as of recently, because when I'm bored I just eat a lot for the dopamine rush or smoke a cigarette. A pack a day. Sometimes I read a book, but it's hard for me to finish one, because I get bored halfway through. I don't like music. I don't like games. I used to like movies, but I feel like I've already seen all the great ones.
Life is pretty fucking boring overall.
i can scroll imageboards accompanying by music all day
the truth is that we are abandoned by god. we live in hell without god's grace so nothing can please us.
I want so badly to take a needle or a knife or some sharp objects and stab them into various points of my skull and along the base of my neck. The pressure is driving me insane. Literally it's eroding my sanity
Years and years of it. In the last 15 years i can only recall a handful of occasions when the pressure went away. The relief is impossible to describe. Bliss beyond words.
I cant help but think if i put holes in my head then maybe the pressure will finally release, like air coming out of a ball.
And then theres my arms. I really want to slice off the skin there. Its also a thought ive had for years and years. This doesn't bother me nearly as much as the feeling of pressure behind my eyes, but its another strange thought that has persisted all these years. I know this is insane and of course if i did these things it probably will only cause me problems. But i cant stop wanting to do it anyways
you mean literal pressure?
Yes. Drives me crazy, hard to describe the feeling
i have it too. it's like my head is being squeezed by vises. don't know what to do with it. can't relax, can't think.
i wish i were an npc
Another weekend alone in my room. 30 years old. Curtains drawn, no lights. This cannot be normal.
If only someone had pointed out to me when I was 16 that it wasn't normal. That maybe I could do better, and that I had something I could offer.
If they had pointed out that if everyone else could do it, why couldn't I.
Fuck my life. Joyless.
Who would you like to spend it with instead?
complaining about not being normal on an imageboard in which normalfag is one of the most commonly used insults may not be the wisest thing to do
I'm nearly three years older than, and in pretty much the same position… Yeah, just looking back to my mid teens when I dropped out and got focused on the internet, one can almost draw a direct line back to the present.
Maybe it's just inflexible thinking always leading me back to the same position. Pretty ingrained now though, of course.
I journal quite often, but tear up what I've written once I get to a full book mostly. For some kind of illusory fresh start. But in this way I still think it helps me with memory and organisation. A bit. etc.
Stay active, as much as possible, even if you're alone.
Good advice. It's always bad to let yourself go, you only suffer more.
Right now I'm on drugs I actively dislike just because they create a chance in my conscious experience, a tiny reprieve from boredom.
Being a thirdie is hard, really hard.
Neighbor telling all other neighbors about my noises and habits
The only way to feel safe and home now is to imagine all of them to be NPCs
Had the same shit happening to me with gossipy and nosy neighbours, even heard them talk shit once. I'm way more cautious since them and always expect some asshole to hear me.
Being a Wizard in South America is pure suffering.
If rather be there than here.
Are third world wizards evidence that working and lack of welfare won't give you more drive?
I heard people say "of course you're depressed if you sit at home all day doing nothing" and offer working as a way to bring structure in your day and give some sense of accomplishment and train resilience but is it all a bunch of crap?
>>277692>Are third world wizards evidence that working and lack of welfare won't give you more drive?
Third world countries are different and can't be compared to western standards.
Being a wizard on a shit hole 3rd world country is more difficult because you don't have any support.
If you go to a hospital on the US or some other decent country and tell them that you're depressed or you want to kill yourself you may be able to get some help or even neetbux, if you do that on a shit hole they will laugh at you, they won't care or they will arrest you or something.
There's no real neetbux here, if you're lucky enough to get money it's like $80 or so a month.
The thing is most wizards if they have to get a job, will get a wizard friendly job like being a night porter or a security guard.
I've lived with a guy that had been a NEETs for like 2-3 years and then became a night shift security guard. This guy was obese and didn't really look after himself, and his health really seemed to degrade upon getting that security job. His health went to shit, he started smoking weed all the time, he looked visibly stressed and tired all the time.
Of course over the years he somewhat came right because he was a normie with problems and eventually got a social job on a pig farm. But those wizard friendly jobs are psychologically not much different to NEETdom. You're not going to find meaning or motivation mopping floors at a hotel at 3am.
>The average third worlder has children as a teenager, cannot understand any English at all and spends all his free time drinking cheap beer and talking loudly in some shithole bar about succubi or some type of ball game with his retarded friends.
You really don't understand how much the world has changed in the last 20 years, do you? Not every thirdie is some Nigerian living in Lagos in a slum. There's a tremendous amount of thirdies online that are fluent in english, are posting on an old computer from 2010 the second hand shop that idles at 80% of memory that they got on the cheap. Or they're posting from a cheap android smartphone. Even poor pajeets in slums have smartphones and spend a good portion of their day online. Every second thirdie zoomer is fluent or close to fluent in english in many parts of the world. In places like Kenya, a day labourer will go home after work and chat online with his smartphone on Whatsapp.
Brazilian, Argentinain, Columbian, Egyptian, Indian lower class thirdies are often like this. The difference is there is no NEETbux and there's no possibility of getting them, and they're working full time for the same lifestyle NEETbux gets in a western country. A Jamacian wizard posted about his shithole 48 hour work week.
My post borked anon, I posted 3 different times and it came out missing important paragraphs in all my attempts, so you're not getting the full picture of what I wanted to say. Don't know what happened but now I'm angry about it and don't want to post again, fuck this. thank you for your response though.
I learned from my very first job that working in a office is hell for the average wizard. I prefer manual jobs that keep you busy and you can just zone out during the whole shift. In office settings you usually work around a lot of roasties and narcissists who don't really do that much work so they kill time by gossiping and being assholes.
i'm tempted to say this is made up or exaggerated, but then i remember university where i didn't talk to anyone in my class for like 3 years while i was there and everyone knew who i was, but i didn't know anyone's name or really cared. constantly saw and heard people talking shit about me behind my back. "there's that guy that never talks to anyone" but this one gurl actually defended me because i helped her out once during a lab thing and said i was "nice". i guess she felt bad for me.
still, i can understand why people disliked me. think they thought i was stuck up or retarded or something. i had really bad anxiety and felt the most comfortable just keeping to myself and ignoring people.
even when you're just keeping to yourself, your body language is signaling something to other people, either that you're scared or stuck up and it gives them cause to fuck with you. fortunately, i never had outright bullies, people just looked down on me but it wasn't high school so outward bullying wasn't that cool anymore. i did get bullied by some teens on public transportation tho, probably younger than me lol
have this great idea for a novel but I really don't want to fuck it up and ruin it forever.
won a few awards back in HS but for years the only thing that's come out of me are shitty fanfics.
They say every witter has a few shit books inside him, maybe I just need to get those out before I try my "big" idea?
You can NEET endlessly with infinite money
Get your novel down on paper, and then spend some time reflecting on it, re-reading it etc, while doing smaller things.
Suicide is the only ending
I like my mom, but part of me will never forgive her for birthing me.
I don't care how immature it sounds. Try living like I do.
reproducing is so normal you really cant blame them
and life is so cruel that poor and dumb people are more likely to do it
I have to spend 80 years alone, making concessions, and being bitterly unhappy. I can blame her, because it's largely her fault.
At least ur mom doesn't constantly mock you for your shortcomings and mental state, fuck that needy cunt
Death will heal us all.
I despise my mom like you wouldn't believe. I respect her and I try to be a decent son, but every day I grow more and more tired of her and sometimes I wish she would just die already. I truly hate her, not only for bringing me this piece of shit world, but for all the traumas and humilliations she has given me over the years.
get a job and hobbies and don't spend so much time around the house, leave if possible, rent an apartment.
I find as I get older I have less control over my emotions and I get pissed off more easily. Any wizzie have this experience? it's like i'm mentally regressing I never got this pissed off over trivial shit in my early twenties
for me it's because my situation just get worse with age, more health issues, less opportunities, more pressure to perform, more shame for lack of accomplishments, ageism etc.
all this stress makes me tense so something trivial like losing in a video game or computer issues make me mad
It's just copium. A way to procrastinate. Doesn't really change anything so you can safely stop giving a fuck about it.
The concept of copium actually fucks me up mentally.
What if all my thoughts are copium? I like to philosophize in my head but what if instead of searching for the truth I am just searching for a philosophy that will help me cope?
I was reading a thread where people complained about their programing jobs and in a moment that made me feel less worse about dropping out of computer science but what if I am just coping and seeing a vocal minority complaining as proof that graduating college and working in tech would not have made me happy so I shouldn't feel regret?
I also realized that giving my opinions on something or advice is less about challenging my knowledge and helping others but just feeling satisfaction for a short moment.
It's all a cope man, just enjoy the cope at least.
So you're saying that each of what you believe to be rational thoughts are actually the result of an emotional argument. But that itself is a rational thought, so that is a result of an emotional argument. Or in other words, copium is copium.
Yeah, the older I get the less patience I have.
Trying to understand the relationship between me and my coworkers drives me mad.
When I talk to them more than usual they get visibly uncomfortable. When I keep more to myself they keep asking me questions and are nicer. I am truly destined to be "the quiet guy".
there's a whole world between talking and not talking. change the topic if they get "visibly uncomfortable", try asking more questions and keep it light.
My dreams some times torment me with the faces of people I knew in school while being in a school. After high school, I wasn't able to graduate college, and am just about to graduate almost 10 years later with an associate's. I try not to think about this kind of stuff, but my mind's been branded with the idea a career is needed and you need to be financially successful to be happy. I'm brainwashed.
I just wanna die.
I don't enjoy the experience of living at all.
I can't browse any of the old sites I browses in my new-NEET days because they cause instant irritation.
Take the copiumpill. There's no use worrying that every action you take is biased by copium because it's impossible to discern. Don't fear happiness.>>277788
Perhaps there's something odd about the way you initiate. If you don't wish to be seen as quiet, try to figure out why your interactions with others make them uncomfortable.>>277790
Condition yourself towards a new way of thinking. The old way will never completely disappear but you must try your best.
"If you can identify that what you're doing is a cope, then you're not coping hard enough"
- A very wise Wiz
There's nothing wrong with coping. But coping is used in two different ways.
1. Coping as in you're delusional
2. Coping as in you're distracting yourself
At this point "coping" is just a word used by nihilist faggots to discredit and strip off purpose from everything. You could have the most fulfilled life with a lot of purpose and some negative retard will call it "cope" while being an absolute miserable piece of shit.
Sounds like cope. You probably don't like the word because you're not self-aware to realize you're coping or just willfully ignorant about the concept of copes existing, which again is a cope.
Sounds like you're a retard trying to be smart
I'm pretty much ssj3 Gohan and you're krillin in Frieza saga at best
It's going to be like this forever.
Real talk, you need to wait until you're clear from the WDs.
I went through the same thing with heroin years back, and it took me a while to get to baseline.
Of course, if your baseline is terrible, then that is what it is.
But opiate withdrawal, like alcohol for me, always had vague, spiritual connotations. It was always very intense, and veiled everything else in my life.
You drug addicts always have a simple answer though - where to find your next dose. Kinda enviable.
>>277814>I genuinely can't find anything to cheer myself up
I don't think you should cheer up, I think you need to find a lot of things to do and focus on.
Think about it as an onion. Until you get to the rotten bulb, delay yourself with questions (why did I quit? because it made me feel sick), maybe say a prayer (any Entity will do, even Conan's Crom), hell, you can even recite the litany against fear.
When the urges come remember, that part of you is dead and what is dead will never come back to life. Maybe visualize this craving moment as a duel in some old b&w chambara movie.
Focus on yourself for the time being and stay away from news and TV.
Find distractions that accomplish something (painting miniatures, gunpla, hobby electronics) - basically do something with your hands.
Reality hits very hard when your're off and you remember that next hit will never come, but then again, you'll never stop fighting.
At some point you'll feel like a veil has been lifted from your eyes, just as you learn to use them.
Awareness is the perfect drug. Be ever vigilant, brother.>>277814