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/dep/ - Depression

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It's not a secret that lots of wizards abuse alcohol and/or drugs for any reason (i.e. to cope), some might even consider themselves alcoholics and/or drug addicts. Using is a big part of our lives and we should have a space to express our horrible daily experience.

Share whatever's on your head. Your latest favorite substance, the hardships of being a fiend on top of being a wizard, favorite drinks, worst drinks, substances you wish you had, drugs you wish you never tried, your experience with withdrawals, etc.

>drinking or using drugs=social interaction

Using/acquiring drugs or alcohol is not inherently social. Compare them to the act of acquiring and eating food, are those inherently social? not really.


I'm personally disappointed too, the other general felt to oblivion without me maintaining it. We had a bunch of users, wasn't a slow general by any means. I'll try to not leave wizchad like last time. Remember to keep our generals up, this community will die within the next 5-10 years. We must cherish and celebrate what's left while we have it.

Recently relapsed back to opioids, benzos and alcohol. I willingly jumped back to it some days ago, was clean from them for almost two years. A stupid succubus made me quit/got me fired. I've survived countless overdoses, I've faced homelessness countless times, I've survived hundreds of days of withdrawals. But a succubus micromanaging and belittling my work and my name for a couple of days? Can't deal with that sober. And my black days are just beginning.

Taking a hit right now, my body is still not used to the dosages and the deadly combo. I could die after this post. Whatever. I'm already dead anyways.


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>Using/acquiring drugs or alcohol is not inherently social.
I always thought it was, that's why I never drank when I was young, because I wasn't going to the parties after school
Then I discovered what it's like to drink alone while listening to some good music
That was a new world for me

I like your pic
In my case it's wine and diazepam

I hate that benzos don't give me the high, but I take them anyway so I feel the relaxation at least, because I cannot drink too much because I live with my parents and I cannot get super drunk. Yes I have neetbux and I am an adult, but I'm just a guest in my parent's house, you know what I mean
I cannot do what I want

I cannot get as much drunk as I would love to
Only rarely when no one's home

There's nothing left for me than to browse the internet and drink, I'm 37 and I tried everything, I'm just not fit for life


Kratom was literally life-changing for me. Too bad I might have developed a permanent tolerance to it after using it nearly everyday for so long. It's a shame because it was such a powerful pillar of support for me. Haven't consumed it in a while now.


Kratom made me relapse to opioids. Made me realize it was too weak vs. opioids and that I really wanted a real fucking hit not baby opioid shit.

Needless to say, Kratom has value when tapering off benzos. It has no value when you've already quit them, you will end up relapsing.


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Taking a hit of opioid+benzo+liquor second day in a row. Tomorrow I will be getting cannabis edibles too.

The world is awash with drugs to numb the unbearable pain and tears and I will take them all until I stop crying.


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Someone alcohol infused cannabis and brownies are arriving in a hour or two. Meanwhile downing liquor, opioids and benzos.

Life is still painful, I want to cry but there are no tears. Me quitting/getting fired really affected me, I let down my guard against a fucking self-absorbed married succubus with 3 babies. "I'm a mother, I'm a succubus too" is shit she used to say to me whenever we had verbal disagreements.

Resentment is bad, it poisons the mind, but it's hard not to hate people like this. Cunt kept complaining about having to raise kids and had full time nannies. I hate humanity so much.


>Mad at someone else
>Destroy your own body for some reason


This cunt kept triggering me and I had to disclose I was a psych patient to make her stop. Turns out one of her siblings is like me, instead of sympathizing with me started treating me like one of her siblings.

Family of psych patients are the most abusive to us. I had to endure passive-aggessive, gaslighting or outright abuse for months. And guess what? No one was going to believe me, no one gave a fuck about my well-being until I went to HR with very detailed situations with multiplate colleagues, not just me.

>Destroy your own body for some reason

This experience has been extremely painful, I've cried a lot. Not an excuse, but I'm not a normie, I'm a wizard. These things deeply affect me, I wish I was dead every single day without these type of problems. Now imagine life + these problems. Imagine a succubus fucking with you every single day at work just because she can get away with it and becase she is trying to teach you a lesson (who is the boss).


benzo addiction spiraled out of control, xanax started from 0.5 got to 2, then 4, now i even took 7.5 a few days ago. I can't stop even though it works poorly because i'm going to get seizures, and my life has utterly collapsed a long time ago.


it's a job. None of these people are your friend. Just absorb the abuse and taking it on videogames when you get home. Don't think you can convince them of anything by talking back to them.


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>Just absorb the pain bro you are mixing the point

Should should just take the pain as a wizchan man right? Fuck everyone else that can't. I'm am the strongest of the strange, no one fucks with me. Not even a 250lb fat fuck disgusting succubus addicted to processed sugar and junk food.

Fuck life. Remember. Succubus life=more important to yours. Wizard life=waste of oxygen.

Taking a gram of Tramadol? You are not afraid of death. Taking a whole flask of Klonopin. Not afraid of death. Downing 300mg of oxies with some fucking special edition tanqueray. Pretend you are armed. Fear is for pussies. Embrace your true savage gigachad willing to die any moment.


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I want to start obtaining and doing benzos, Xanax and\or Clonazepam, and drinking alcohol daily all the time. I have my own apartment now but I just feel and see nihilism everywhere. I can lived without working due to investments + disability pension which is based on Real motor disability, disability Tax exemptions etc. so far I DO work and a lot, but it's for time-wasting's sake.

I really feel desperate and despondent about society, social relations, life-long projects or before-I-die bucket lists and prospects towards old age. Im a man, 29 years old. Benzos + alcohol will probably kill me if withdrawal doesn't but I've done and seen so much (bad stuff), I don't like being aware of reality any more.

I won't buy illegal drugs but I would (I hope I can stop this plan in time) lie \ fake \ fraud symptoms to my psychiatrist to obtain legal doses and prescriptions. I already used to take non-Benzo meds for 10 years, I stopped recently as I was "given the medical OK" and declared suitable for living without meds. Getting drunk is legal but only inside your house, so if I while drunk decide to leave the house, it's illegal (public disorder, threatening behaviour etc). But really in my Country you can do anything to yourself within your property.

Deep down I know this path is so wrong but I can't stop heading down it. my last rescue would be , to stop this from starting, going back to churches, talk to priest, maybe community meetings. But Im terrified of making long-lasting social relationships so I can't form part of a Community anymore. I even have almost totally stopped consuming Culture and Art (no anime, no vidya, no memes or shitposts) because that's so eminently communal and bonding, I hate national identities and housing codes, it all reinforces bonding and kinship. really,, neighbourhoods are for benefiting the community itself, it kills every Ego in a mass sacrifice.


as a long term xanax addict i can tell you it's possible it won't work like u want it to - IMO benzos are good for somewhat functional people with mostly regular mental problems like anxiety, to help them do their job. Rest is up to personal biology. As for me, xanax that was supposed to kill all the feelings, is the strongest anti-anxiety drug and i had neurosis for over a decade, barely works as intended or for other people.
I regret not taking opioids instead all the time, since i'm now in never ending physical agony until i finally die. I think they are vastly superior medical drugs.


oh god it looked to me like people watching wizardchan on a big cinema screen


Kratom was much more helpful than it ever was damaging for me. I quit cold turkey after years of using it and the withdrawal wasn't that bad at all. I'm not sure if it even was much of withdrawal considering the symptoms I experienced may have been from COVID which I was sick with during my cold turkey period.
I really hope I haven't developed a permanent tolerance to it, only time will tell


oh the Always Sunny podcast is always promoting that, and they even snuck it into the season finale


I was taking around 14 grams of Kratom a day at "my worst."
It's interesting to me how there are entire subreddits touting how this drug ruined peoples lives or how hellish quitting the drug is going for them.
I don't drink or smoke and I don't have an addictive personality, maybe that's why?
Anyway, I'm almost tempted to say this leaf saved my life at some really low points of my life. I really miss the best effects of the drug but I don't crave it. Mostly because it wasn't doing jack even after several weeks of not taking it at all. If you feel like you have nothing to support you emotionally and you have $100 bucks you can piss around, I'd recommend hitting up a trusted vendor and ordering no more than a kilo in bulk. I used to chase it down with plain milk and it completely negated the awful taste you never get used to.


I can stop drinking, but i cant stop smoking. I will smoke until my lungs collapse and i have accepted it.


What even is that? CBD?


Coincidentally 14 grams of weed per week is my "worst". I am currently at that amount. Need to cut back I know. I tried kratom a few times but I really didn't like it. All opiates just make me feel sleepy and weird, it's not really pleasurable. There is some euphoria especially at higher doses, but it's such a brain-dead euphoria where you're basically asleep. I know some people say kratom can be energizing depending on the strain but I never tried one that was. I didn't try much because the taste was terrible.


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I'm >>290735
This was one of those days when I drank more than usual because I got the chance to.
I feel like shit.
I'm a mistake.
I should just die.
Not even drugs can help me.
I had to take 50mg of diazepam to erase the effect of alcohol, which was making me feel like shit.
It's all pointless.
I don't have the balls to kill myself.
I'm still here just because I couldn't do this to my parents. I don't want them to suffer the death of a child.
Fuck this life.

This post sucks, but I'm drunk.
That's why all posts on wizchan sucks, maybe? Maybe it's all trolls and drunk people posting? I dunno.
Fuck it.

I want not to exist.

Cioran was right all along.


I'm mostly doing benzos, alcohol and tramadol, but when I get the chance to try anything new I do (which is almost never since I'm only either wageslaving or at "home").

Last year I was having it really bad due to clonazepam addiction. I think I was taking around 10mg almost dialy since I couldn't cope with the fact that I was stuck working graveyard at a callcenter. I decided to quit cold turkey and I did not sleep for 3 days straight. I keep using benzos, mainly clonazepam and alprazolam, but now only once a week. Funny thing is that I live in a country where you can get benzos like fucking candy; just go to a drug store or a pharmacie and they will most likely just give it to you, no questions asked. That's also the reason I use tramadol. Also, here prescription opioids are extremely uncommon, except for tramadol for weird reasons.

What I usually do is watch anime on a couple of drinks, 50-100mg tramadol and 2mg clonazepam and just keep watching until I fall asleep. Sometimes I throw 300-450mg pregabalin since that's also very easy to get here.

I would do illegals (LSD or MDMA) if I were not such a pussy and actually go to the places where people sell them, like, you know, bars and clubs.


Tramadol is amazing. I took it for a few years. Now its been 6 years or so since i have had no access and i still miss it a lot. It helps so much. I'd stockpile it if i were you in case the situation changes


I never tried any other opiates, but tramadol works wonders for me. It makes me feel less depressed, and probable due to its SNRI properties, I feel like I love everything around me in a weirdly energetic but sedated way, and if I'm depressed enough, I just take more and nod the fuck out after 2 or 3 hours after taking it. It's pretty awesome, but I'm trying not to take it since I think I'm developing a tolerance. I don't want to ruin one of the only good things I have in my life, really.


>Funny thing is that I live in a country where you can get benzos like fucking candy; just go to a drug store or a pharmacie and they will most likely just give it to you, no questions asked. That's also the reason I use tramadol.
>300-450mg pregabalin since that's also very easy to get here.
Are you Mexican by any chance? I know Tramadol, Pregabalin and a few others are OTC over here, benzos not so much though.

Lucky. From what I know Tramadol can either act like a mild opiate or an SNRI. Really depends on your liver.


Similar for me. I've taken other opiates and a large number of illegal drugs but it remains the best for me as a regular practical thing. Makes me more productive and feel better at the same time, and no hangover or anything


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Subb, degenerates? Does anyone know of a legally obtainable psychedelic mimic that emulates the whole brain connectivity effect of this substance?


Not mexican, but I live in a latin american country. A lot stuff which is presciption only in the US is OTC here. I can get almost any benzo I can think of, except for maybe midazolam since thats only used for anaesthesia, I think.

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