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Depression
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 No.292493

Even though I disagree with people saying "life is a gift" because until we are born we don't exist and are not feeling anything so we never feel any lack of something that being born satisfies I still can't help but want to experience life to the fullest but depression and my bad stats prevent me from doing anything. Life 1000 ago seemed pretty boring but life now can be like a themepark ride if you are not a broken person like me and can do things. As much as I can try I feel like I will never get to 100% performance and will always only be able to make small steps. But lifespan is limited so making small steps only severely limits my options.

I hope people here understand how depression can make you unable to truly enjoy something even if you like something so just because nothing is fun with depression doesn't mean everything objectively sucks and you are not missing out on anything.

Has anyone dealt with these thoughts and found a way to make peace with them?

 No.292495

those thoughts don't help you. think em once but when they pop up again, know that you are being held hostage by the depression.

the depression wants you to focus on what sucks, to fight it, focus on what is good and on what you want. keeping yourself busy with what you want is one nice way to deal with it i think.

when i doomscroll meme sites all day and watch conspiracy videos, then i feel like shit but when i use the day on getting along what i believe to be important, then i feel good.

 No.292496

The depressing thing about life is not that you are mentally ill and unable to compete in the rat race and win all the swell prizes, it's the fact that the rat race exists at all and that there is no alternative to it, human life loses all meaning once it divorces itself from the social order and hierarchies. On the one hand you want to be free from their oppressive value systems, on the other hand you're biologically dependent on it and at the end of the day, if you're not beating some other naked ape in some socially constructed game, you don't feel alive at all. How do I know that I matter at all if there isn't a society to define me and give value to my actions? That's the paradox every isolated individual encounters. You cannot create meaning from nothing, all of it is created and acquired through social systems around you, social systems that you despise and want to be free from.

 No.292497

>>292496
>human life loses all meaning once it divorces itself from the social order and hierarchies.

what makes you believe that? i don't think it is true. i divorced myself from social order and hierarchies and my life is better because i am not a slave as much; simple as. groups are just broken at this point in time.

>On the one hand you want to be free from their oppressive value systems, on the other hand you're biologically dependent on it


i don't believe this is true. the world does theater to convince you of this, a lot of 'people' say that but that doesn't make it true.

>and at the end of the day, if you're not beating some other naked ape in some socially constructed game, you don't feel alive at all.


what? no. you need to learn to skate that is what i am reading at this point…

>How do I know that I matter at all if there isn't a society to define me and give value to my actions?


those are puppet concerns. social validation is an illusion, a placebo. all beneficial effects from social interaction are those that socialization installed on you. they trained you to be worthless unless someone says otherwise because they wanted you to do what they said. you were born complete and had to be taught to believe you are lacking.

>That's the paradox every isolated individual encounters. You cannot create meaning from nothing, all of it is created and acquired through social systems around you, social systems that you despise and want to be free from.


when meaning is created by others, then that means you could create meaning for others and if you can create meaning for others, what makes you think you can not do it for yourself? what do you base this on? you got nothing to base that on, it is pure dog training what you are repeating.

it is nice to have others in your life if you like the other people but if you don't, then it is better not to have people in your life. it is not worth to pretend to like people just so that you have them in your life, people aren't all that. they are not the oasis of water in the dry desert of an otherwise dull human life. if you experienced mass appeal (as in lots of people liking you, praising you, wanting to be your friends, wanting sex with you, wanting to be near you and listen to you) you would realize how empty, boring and machine-like the people that you believe are essential to your life are. they aren't essential, they are all so generic and your belief in them is unearned.

 No.292517

>>292496
I'm only dependent on food production and medical care. Solar panels have solved electricity.

No matter how healthy I live, I might get unexpected health complications as I age, which I can't solve myself (like performing surgery on my own burst appendix or heart).

And realistically I'm not going to grow all my food myself even though I did choose to move away to a more farm-like home. I can grow some stuff myself but not all of it.

Everything else is meaningless noise. I can make do without the internet and have done so for stretches of years. Bill payment is mostly on the internet though and even I cannot escape taxes or mandatory bills.



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