/lounge/ - Lounge

Sometimes I can manage the anger and bitterness to fuel me but it doesn't last long

Learn that you don't owe anything to anyone.

>>261707
I guess you're right. I'm allowed to make mistakes I suppose.

Mistakes are part of the process of learning.
You will never be good at anything or get anywhere in life if you are afraid of mistakes.
Just learn from them and adapt to be better.

That is how I accept mistakes generally speaking.

>>261718
>>261718
I wish my parents never made me feel ashamed of making mistakes.

if it is something i myself started, i dont mind. but failing a task assigned to or requested of me by another person… is embarassing. i usually preemptively downplay my abilities and warn of potential failure as a way to feel less stress and responsible, at least when it's something someone else wants me to do

Someone on Reddit wrote that back in the day mistakes were more used as an excuse of flunking classes in high school. Now mistakes are rapes, sexual assaults and other crimes. As long as it's not what modern normalfag predators and whores call "mistakes" it's not that daunting.

>>261735
Miniscule stuff, not that normal fag shit I don't interact with people that much unless I have to

You don't.

There is no reason to beat yourself up over things. The only one making yourself feel guilty is yourself. You have to realize that your past is perfect and that you aren't a mistake.

>>261756
My past is perfect??

>>261762
Just learn to live your truth, bro.

>>261725
I am assuming due to their parenting you were conditioned to have a aversion to mistakes.

Just know that even if that is the case you are not hopeless. You are still able to change and have the fear of failure decondisioned out of you.
It will take effort but it is well worth it.

>>261769
>>261769
What I'm trying to do is everytime I screw up I'll tell myself "this is okay, but I can do better"

Love you wizzies

As a consequencialist, I blame my father and mother for my mistakes.

I genuinely can't remember the last time I done something I'd consider a mistake, so I don't have to.

>>262122
You can't do that, your father and mother's mistakes are the responsibility of their fathers and mothers.

>>261705
If you were to go back in time and prevent them from happening, it would cost you the experience and you would be doomed to make them again, sooner or later. It was inevitable and therefore there is no point in beating oneself over it. Appreciate instead that it is behind you, that you've had the opportunity to better yourself and that you will be able to prevent it from happening again. That you have, hopefully, learned.

Over time I've got better at not feeling those feelings (guilt and regret)

1) Making less mistakes, or actually realising that a lot of reasons I hated myself for were actually stupid or not as bad as I thought, a change of perspective helps
2) Realising free will doesn't exist so don't be too hard on myself for things out of my control, the same way I don't blame a faulty lawnmower from breaking down and say it's gonna go to hell for making that choice
3) Just having a bit more faith in myself and believing I'm a winner/good overall (can be hard especially if you have more reasons to despise yourself)
4) Just repeated exposure to negative things and eventually I started taking life less seriously, this could be a bad thing I don't know, but often I just prepare myself for the worst or have lower expectations or just accept things a bit more stoically, if I do something stupid I can just laugh at the absurdity of it
5) I knew some autistic person who self-flagellated a lot, constantly complained and had problems and self-loathing and I guess I didn't want to be like that, but actually they had a pretty shit life and were depressed too so I don't know which came first or maybe they both created a cycle that fed into each other, but perhaps fixing your life in other areas can make you less negative

I feel stupid, apologize if my mistake affected anyone, and go on with my life. Sometimes I may think "yeah I probably should've done that" but I don't think too much about things I can't change.
When I say mistake I'm talking about honest mistakes, like "I fucked up a query and deleted important information from the database" or stuff like that. Not things that I knew were wrong and did anyway, robbing or hurting someone isn't a mistake, it's you being a piece of shit.

Practice radical acceptance if you can and you will see how much it can help.
When I fuck up I either self destruct and recover after much harm or I just accept oit straight away and let it all go.

>>262204
radical acceptance?