What exactly is the qualifier for 'excessive?'
When do you trip the wire?
The entire OP paragraph is interested in preserving one's own energy and even goes as far to suggest manipulating people.>change them for the better
How is this not just another vein of self-interest, molding people to act how you want them to act?
OP has it correct by not interacting with people that piss you off, but trying to hall-monitor people into right&wrong morality systems around narcissism is a horrible way to set yourself up for frustration and failure.
There's no point trying to change people, and there's no need to cling to the idea that you're somehow better by being above "those damn narcissists" when all of humanity and life _must_ be self-interested at least in living in order to survive; that selflessness is always disguised as selfishness, self-interest
There's no right and wrong, just reality. Reality is that you have these energy vampires in your life. That sucks, I hate them too. But there's no need to apply an abstracted reality on top of it, or some explanation. There is no explanation. Some people just aren't beneficial to be around. Maybe you can say that they don't scratch your back while you scratch theirs and that I'm getting caught up in semantics; that can be the case. You could technically call them narcissists; I would just prefer to call them retarded. They're stupid and they don't know how to set up mutually beneficial relationships for their own self-interest. I just don't like how being 'selfless' or 'not self-interested' or just the general nuance introduced when you use the word "narcissist." It gets everything wrong. It's not bad to be self-interested.
I guess my autism in semantics here is that if you're truly narcissist, you would realize how stupid it is to be an energy vampire and not at least set up what seems to be a mutually beneficial relationship. Narcissism in the colloquial use obscures important facts of reality and turns it upside down: people are always self-interested, and these so called narcs are just retarded, not truly self-interested, otherwise they wouldn't be such a horrible person to be around.