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Does anyone here have narc family members, or people close to them?
How do you deal with them? Obviously as little contact as possible is the best way to go about things, but what about when you are with them, they can leave you feeling tired and depressed, like energy vampires or something. What the fuck do you do when it comes to people like this? So far information gathering and working on my own health has made me more resilient, and less likely to get suckered into shit, but I was hoping for someone with more time and experience than me that may have figured out ways to fight back or something and make you no longer a victim in their eyes, or better yet - change them for the better.


We don;t have the answers as each situation is unique but here goes with my experience.
>How do you deal with them?
I luckily do not live with my NPD parent anymore but they continue to cause trouble for me by lying to other family (family know it is lies but it leads to problems still) about me. I sadly have to be extremely careful of what I say in case it gets distorted on purpose while retaining some vague shimmer of credibility to avoid dealing with toxicity constantly but I have learned to deal with it all better. The first tip would be to stop caring when the individual tries to pull you into a mindgame. The second is talk as little as possible when you do live with them.

You can forget these people changing you really just have to accept they are the way they are and they can be so delusional that it makes no sense to even argue the point with an NPD. NPD will lie and use it to form their narrative but not only that they will have selective memory. These types are so creepy crawly with how they can pretty much use some double think they control in order not to upset their fragile self and go on projecting at everyone in a real way.

Don't fight back if it is futile but don't let them abuse you just accept it will happen and try minimize the damage. I am already damaged after a life of mindgames and no longer even care.
Post some examples or more details if you want a better reply. please


"Narcissism" isn't a real thing, it literally means "people I don't like." Get over it.


One thing I've noticed is that the idea of narcissism and other personality disorders have really gotten popular among normalfags the past year or so. It's so bad that my own mom said I'm a grandiose narcissist even though I sit in my room all day with terrible depression and have no physical contact with the outside world.

One thing you need to realize is that personality disorders don't exist. Ask any psychologist and even they will tell you that everyone on earth fits at least one characteristic in every category of every personality disorder. It's all bs. It's just adults acting like children. Like with children, you just need to take them down a peg and be numb to their tantrums.


Satire as it best. Sounds exactly what a gaslighter narc would say.


>Satire as it best. Sounds exactly what a gaslighter narc would say.
Sounds like something a gay with antisocial personality disorder would say.


They are boxes to put people in. Some people fit very nicely into a certain box and others not so much. While calling out narcissism has got quite popular lately, that doesn't mean there are some seriously toxic people who fit quite nicely into the narcissistic personality box.


Why can’t you people just leave us alone instead of dragging your faggot bullshit here.


…said the gaslighting grandiose narc.


According to those same boxes, wizard neets could be considered narcissists or sociopaths just by living off of bux and not wanting anything to do with others


Learn to pronounce
noun: narcissism

excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one's physical appearance.

So you're saying you're above these 'narcs' because you aren't self-interested and…

wait a second… it sounds like you feel superior for not being so self-involved… almost as if you admire your selflessness which is just masked selfishness

being in this world and not being self-interested is just begging for a master to control you


By what OP wrote, he isn't excessively self-interested or excessively self-involved, as the definition you posted clearly stated.

noun: narcissism

>excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one's physical appearance.

>excessive interest


What exactly is the qualifier for 'excessive?'
When do you trip the wire?

The entire OP paragraph is interested in preserving one's own energy and even goes as far to suggest manipulating people.
>change them for the better

How is this not just another vein of self-interest, molding people to act how you want them to act?

OP has it correct by not interacting with people that piss you off, but trying to hall-monitor people into right&wrong morality systems around narcissism is a horrible way to set yourself up for frustration and failure.
There's no point trying to change people, and there's no need to cling to the idea that you're somehow better by being above "those damn narcissists" when all of humanity and life _must_ be self-interested at least in living in order to survive; that selflessness is always disguised as selfishness, self-interest

There's no right and wrong, just reality. Reality is that you have these energy vampires in your life. That sucks, I hate them too. But there's no need to apply an abstracted reality on top of it, or some explanation. There is no explanation. Some people just aren't beneficial to be around. Maybe you can say that they don't scratch your back while you scratch theirs and that I'm getting caught up in semantics; that can be the case. You could technically call them narcissists; I would just prefer to call them retarded. They're stupid and they don't know how to set up mutually beneficial relationships for their own self-interest. I just don't like how being 'selfless' or 'not self-interested' or just the general nuance introduced when you use the word "narcissist." It gets everything wrong. It's not bad to be self-interested.

I guess my autism in semantics here is that if you're truly narcissist, you would realize how stupid it is to be an energy vampire and not at least set up what seems to be a mutually beneficial relationship. Narcissism in the colloquial use obscures important facts of reality and turns it upside down: people are always self-interested, and these so called narcs are just retarded, not truly self-interested, otherwise they wouldn't be such a horrible person to be around.


>What exactly is the qualifier for 'excessive?'

You are the one who posted said definition, so, answer it yourself.

>manipulating people.

>change them for the better

manipulating = coercion via several methods
change them for the better = to persuade

manipulating =/= change them for the better.

>There's no point trying to change people

I agree.

>There's no right and wrong, just reality.

That is debatable.

> That sucks, I hate them too. But there's no need to apply an abstracted reality on top of it, or some explanation. There is no explanation.

Well… yea there are explanations, such as those given in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of mental disorders edition V…


>manipulating = coercion via several methods
>change them for the better = to persuade

>manipulating =/= change them for the better.

Learn to pronounce
See definitions in:
verb: manipulate; 3rd person present: manipulates; past tense: manipulated; past participle: manipulated; gerund or present participle: manipulating

handle or control (a tool, mechanism, etc.), typically in a skillful manner.
"he manipulated the dials of the set"

The nuance between the words doesn't change the end result, which is correcting someone's behavior.
There is no absolute good and bad way to reference on how to correct someone's behavior, therefore the nuance is null.

Right and wrong is always subjective; trying to evoke it to be a universality is the very disease of the Western mind and the folly of man


Also, I point out that qualifier to show that excessive is the very trail of thought you want to avoid.
There's no such thing as excessive self-interest unless you attach the misguiding nuance that self-interest is bad or results in bad things.

I can be equally and excessively self-interested handling others with grace, while someone with the same amount is still too retarded to accomplish that


Sometimes I can't tell the difference between this site and tumblr


No, wanting isolation from people or being content living off neetbux are nothing to do with sociopathy or narcissism.

thats a dictionary definition, but not a clinical one. Narcissism as a psychology trait and psychiatric personality disorder are different things too. To be a narcissist , that is someone who falls into the narcissistic personality disorder category, see themselves a certain way and interact with the world and others in a certain way. They use and abuse people compuslively to make themselves look and feel superior, for example. It can be hard to find good information about them that isnt pop psychology nor dogmatic psychiatric shit, but if you have found decent info on them and got close to someone who exhibits the same behaviours and seems to have the same motivations… you would know its not bullshit.


When I suggested the possibility of changing them for the better, what I had in mind was confronting them with their behavior and what effect it has on me, in the hopes that they would address it and alter their behavior. I don't think thats manipulative or cooercive. On the other hand I did mention "fighting back" which would be with the hopes that it would get them to stop making me one of their victims and trying to walk all over me every chance they get. I guess taking a more aggressive approach is closer to manipulative than the first thing I said, but I don't think anyone would say telling a bully to go fuck themselves is manipulative or cooercive either, it's standing up for yourself


I read a lot of posts from wizards who have parents that are extremely selfish and abusive, and have met some fucking disgusting normans so I thought at least some people here have family or got close to people who were narcissists. Plus there's been discussion on psychology and personality here too. First reply here was good advice and didnt smell like tumblr shit


Are "grandiose narcs" with us in the room right now? This poster displays symptoms typical for an onset of paranoid schizophrenia.



That word/slang doesn't mean what you think it means.
And no, you can't personally redefine a word that has been in common parlance for half a century with a established meaning.


I guess I was too autistic in my definitions. I do vaguely know people like that from my dealings; I just attribute that to being an average shitbag.

If we're using narcissism as a general label of someone to siphons energy off of others, the best thing you can do is just get away from them as quickly as possible unfortunately


way to show you dont understand anything.

you think borderline personality disorder doesn't exist lmao silly silly.. "but its just a cluster of traits which cause problems in life" yes.. it is a personality disorder


from the same people who officially say if you question the government too much you have a medical "disorder"

psychology is pseudo science


He is just being a contrarian for attention as usual.
He does it nearly every day for every subject regardless of subject and will even flip flop positions just to make sure he is contrary to whatever he sees as the dominant opinion.
Made worse by him being intensely irrational and willfully ignorant on just about everything. That is because the subject and his position on the subject doesn't matter to him. Only the attention, replies he gets, and stroking his ego by declaring himself better then everyone else is all he really cares about. The topic be damned.

Learn to recognize his post. He makes sure to be identifiable, then just ignore his attempts at attentionwhoring. Remember that most of the time he doesn't even believe what he says and he is just trying to get a rise out of people.


learn to read between the lines doofus. I am BPD smh


everyone that isn't literally perfect has a "disorder" of some kind or another according to those quacks, who the fuck made them the arbiters of reality


it is a psychosocial disability when serious just omg.. you don't get it you are so narrow minded. just shut up


You've been baited so hard that you don't even realize it and only care about posts that you deem contrarian without even arguing your own opinion. Great job.


So you fully admit to everyone here that you are indeed just a troll.
That works too.


Literal schizo.


The other guy is literally going around claiming to be borderline like some tumblrina and that's the person you think is the voice of reason. Either you yourself are baiting us or you need to take a break from the internet


>I sadly have to be extremely careful of what I say in case it gets distorted on purpose while retaining some vague shimmer of credibility
I have family who do this constantly.

The sooner you cut off all contact, the better.




people that love gossip, try trick you into getting any information about others. they know everything about anyone, being on family's facebook pages and calling their gossip pal.

I live with someone like that, on the phone 24/7 calling family members "just to say hi" but the purpose is to find out more about their lives. I take baths and she tells my mom as soon as she gets home from work, checks the towel to see if I did shower. she nags me all the time and demands to know where my mom is, she goes through the groceries to see what we eat.

like a vampire that lives off on drama, the hag farts around you to get a reaction.. any negative reaction makes her day, if you are not upset or get into an argument its like a day without sunshine for her.


An abbreviation of a word used by shit-talkers who enjoy putting other people down. This word is very potent as a diminutive in that you can use it on people you dislike and make them seem like some kind of a different species. Genious of the crowd.


That sounds terrible! Somebody should do something to protect the narc-accused from those terrible, terrible people who think these so-called-narcs are bad!
As we all know, terrible people don't actually exist, except for those who accuse others of being terrible, only THEY are horrible people!


oh, dunno, maybe I have something similar, my mom starts gossiping with anyone and, to show off or something, tells the person every single dirty secret and unsavory anecdote she knows about me, been doing this since I was a kid, with neighbors, strangers, my piece of shit little sister's friends who then tried to dox me with it

how I deal with it is being selectively mute to mom and everyone else in the "family" for almost 20 years now


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>wizards bitching about muh family drama when all they should be doing is just ignore all that shit and focus your energy on yourselves.
Just fucking ignore these people and their pestering ways.


They are energy vampires, the best way to deal with them is to ignore them as much as you can. If your parents are narcs and you live in their house my best advise is to do whathever they say to keep them pleased, but try to isolate yourself from them as much as you can, don't get into arguments with them because you can't win against a narcissisist.


best advice I may have ever read


But as with most good advice, nearly impossible to follow in practice when it's sorely needed the most.


It is not even good advice if you lack nuance to know when o use it. The very people who think it is good advice may not be able to use what can be the best advice practically.


I never really liked the term "narcissist", it's a loaded term and it's basically like naming a mental disorder "stupid jerk" disorder imo. That being said, I do have a really strange family and my experiences line up with your description of some of the issues you faced.

How you deal with people like this is you vet them and then screen them out of people you're willing to interact with. To some degree it's easy to do i.e with bums on the street or weird people acting hostile outside. Most of these people give off really offputting behavior that will cause most people to not interact with them in any meaningful way.

For most of us, it's just do you due diligence and trust your gut about people. Most of the people who've turned out to be psychos I've had a bad feeling about when I first met them but due to upbringing and having learned that dysfunctional behavior is normal I didn't vet these people like the majority of people do and I think that opened me up to being a target.


>I never really liked the term "narcissist", it's a loaded term and it's basically like naming a mental disorder "stupid jerk" disorder imo.
Because that's all it is. Meanwhile you're expected to play along with the delusions of the truly dangerous fucked in the head psychos such as homos and transvestites, and it's even a crime to disobey their disgusting lunacy.


>truly dangerous fucked in the head psychos such as homos
Please do explain how being attracted to a particular gender makes one truly dangerous


Horny =/= attracted.
Not to mention it only happens when a guy get's so lonely that he snaps.


You are detached from reality

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