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 No.276549

Does anyone here have narc family members, or people close to them?
How do you deal with them? Obviously as little contact as possible is the best way to go about things, but what about when you are with them, they can leave you feeling tired and depressed, like energy vampires or something. What the fuck do you do when it comes to people like this? So far information gathering and working on my own health has made me more resilient, and less likely to get suckered into shit, but I was hoping for someone with more time and experience than me that may have figured out ways to fight back or something and make you no longer a victim in their eyes, or better yet - change them for the better.

 No.276550

We don;t have the answers as each situation is unique but here goes with my experience.
>How do you deal with them?
I luckily do not live with my NPD parent anymore but they continue to cause trouble for me by lying to other family (family know it is lies but it leads to problems still) about me. I sadly have to be extremely careful of what I say in case it gets distorted on purpose while retaining some vague shimmer of credibility to avoid dealing with toxicity constantly but I have learned to deal with it all better. The first tip would be to stop caring when the individual tries to pull you into a mindgame. The second is talk as little as possible when you do live with them.

You can forget these people changing you really just have to accept they are the way they are and they can be so delusional that it makes no sense to even argue the point with an NPD. NPD will lie and use it to form their narrative but not only that they will have selective memory. These types are so creepy crawly with how they can pretty much use some double think they control in order not to upset their fragile self and go on projecting at everyone in a real way.

Don't fight back if it is futile but don't let them abuse you just accept it will happen and try minimize the damage. I am already damaged after a life of mindgames and no longer even care.
Post some examples or more details if you want a better reply. please

 No.276552

"Narcissism" isn't a real thing, it literally means "people I don't like." Get over it.

 No.276559

One thing I've noticed is that the idea of narcissism and other personality disorders have really gotten popular among normalfags the past year or so. It's so bad that my own mom said I'm a grandiose narcissist even though I sit in my room all day with terrible depression and have no physical contact with the outside world.

One thing you need to realize is that personality disorders don't exist. Ask any psychologist and even they will tell you that everyone on earth fits at least one characteristic in every category of every personality disorder. It's all bs. It's just adults acting like children. Like with children, you just need to take them down a peg and be numb to their tantrums.

 No.276561

>>276552
Satire as it best. Sounds exactly what a gaslighter narc would say.

 No.276562

>>276561
>Satire as it best. Sounds exactly what a gaslighter narc would say.
Sounds like something a gay with antisocial personality disorder would say.

 No.276563

>>276559
They are boxes to put people in. Some people fit very nicely into a certain box and others not so much. While calling out narcissism has got quite popular lately, that doesn't mean there are some seriously toxic people who fit quite nicely into the narcissistic personality box.

 No.276564

>>276563
>toxic
Why can’t you people just leave us alone instead of dragging your faggot bullshit here.

 No.276566

>>276562
…said the gaslighting grandiose narc.

 No.276567

>>276563
According to those same boxes, wizard neets could be considered narcissists or sociopaths just by living off of bux and not wanting anything to do with others

 No.276569

>>276549
nar·cis·sism
/ˈnärsəˌsizəm/
Learn to pronounce
noun
noun: narcissism

excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one's physical appearance.


So you're saying you're above these 'narcs' because you aren't self-interested and…

wait a second… it sounds like you feel superior for not being so self-involved… almost as if you admire your selflessness which is just masked selfishness

being in this world and not being self-interested is just begging for a master to control you

 No.276571

>>276569
By what OP wrote, he isn't excessively self-interested or excessively self-involved, as the definition you posted clearly stated.

noun: narcissism

>excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one's physical appearance.


>excessive interest

 No.276574

>>276571
What exactly is the qualifier for 'excessive?'
When do you trip the wire?

The entire OP paragraph is interested in preserving one's own energy and even goes as far to suggest manipulating people.
>change them for the better

How is this not just another vein of self-interest, molding people to act how you want them to act?

OP has it correct by not interacting with people that piss you off, but trying to hall-monitor people into right&wrong morality systems around narcissism is a horrible way to set yourself up for frustration and failure.
There's no point trying to change people, and there's no need to cling to the idea that you're somehow better by being above "those damn narcissists" when all of humanity and life _must_ be self-interested at least in living in order to survive; that selflessness is always disguised as selfishness, self-interest

There's no right and wrong, just reality. Reality is that you have these energy vampires in your life. That sucks, I hate them too. But there's no need to apply an abstracted reality on top of it, or some explanation. There is no explanation. Some people just aren't beneficial to be around. Maybe you can say that they don't scratch your back while you scratch theirs and that I'm getting caught up in semantics; that can be the case. You could technically call them narcissists; I would just prefer to call them retarded. They're stupid and they don't know how to set up mutually beneficial relationships for their own self-interest. I just don't like how being 'selfless' or 'not self-interested' or just the general nuance introduced when you use the word "narcissist." It gets everything wrong. It's not bad to be self-interested.

I guess my autism in semantics here is that if you're truly narcissist, you would realize how stupid it is to be an energy vampire and not at least set up what seems to be a mutually beneficial relationship. Narcissism in the colloquial use obscures important facts of reality and turns it upside down: people are always self-interested, and these so called narcs are just retarded, not truly self-interested, otherwise they wouldn't be such a horrible person to be around.

 No.276575

>>276574
>What exactly is the qualifier for 'excessive?'

You are the one who posted said definition, so, answer it yourself.

>manipulating people.

>change them for the better

manipulating = coercion via several methods
change them for the better = to persuade

manipulating =/= change them for the better.

>There's no point trying to change people


I agree.

>There's no right and wrong, just reality.


That is debatable.

> That sucks, I hate them too. But there's no need to apply an abstracted reality on top of it, or some explanation. There is no explanation.


Well… yea there are explanations, such as those given in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of mental disorders edition V…

 No.276576

>>276575
>manipulating = coercion via several methods
>change them for the better = to persuade

>manipulating =/= change them for the better.


ma·nip·u·late
/məˈnipyəˌlāt/
Learn to pronounce
See definitions in:
all
computing
medicine
verb
verb: manipulate; 3rd person present: manipulates; past tense: manipulated; past participle: manipulated; gerund or present participle: manipulating


handle or control (a tool, mechanism, etc.), typically in a skillful manner.
"he manipulated the dials of the set"


The nuance between the words doesn't change the end result, which is correcting someone's behavior.
There is no absolute good and bad way to reference on how to correct someone's behavior, therefore the nuance is null.

Right and wrong is always subjective; trying to evoke it to be a universality is the very disease of the Western mind and the folly of man

 No.276577

>>276576
Also, I point out that qualifier to show that excessive is the very trail of thought you want to avoid.
There's no such thing as excessive self-interest unless you attach the misguiding nuance that self-interest is bad or results in bad things.

I can be equally and excessively self-interested handling others with grace, while someone with the same amount is still too retarded to accomplish that

 No.276578

Sometimes I can't tell the difference between this site and tumblr

 No.276579

>>276567
No, wanting isolation from people or being content living off neetbux are nothing to do with sociopathy or narcissism.

>>276569
thats a dictionary definition, but not a clinical one. Narcissism as a psychology trait and psychiatric personality disorder are different things too. To be a narcissist , that is someone who falls into the narcissistic personality disorder category, see themselves a certain way and interact with the world and others in a certain way. They use and abuse people compuslively to make themselves look and feel superior, for example. It can be hard to find good information about them that isnt pop psychology nor dogmatic psychiatric shit, but if you have found decent info on them and got close to someone who exhibits the same behaviours and seems to have the same motivations… you would know its not bullshit.

 No.276580

>>276574
When I suggested the possibility of changing them for the better, what I had in mind was confronting them with their behavior and what effect it has on me, in the hopes that they would address it and alter their behavior. I don't think thats manipulative or cooercive. On the other hand I did mention "fighting back" which would be with the hopes that it would get them to stop making me one of their victims and trying to walk all over me every chance they get. I guess taking a more aggressive approach is closer to manipulative than the first thing I said, but I don't think anyone would say telling a bully to go fuck themselves is manipulative or cooercive either, it's standing up for yourself

 No.276581

>>276578
I read a lot of posts from wizards who have parents that are extremely selfish and abusive, and have met some fucking disgusting normans so I thought at least some people here have family or got close to people who were narcissists. Plus there's been discussion on psychology and personality here too. First reply here was good advice and didnt smell like tumblr shit

 No.276582

>>276566
Are "grandiose narcs" with us in the room right now? This poster displays symptoms typical for an onset of paranoid schizophrenia.

 No.276586

>narc

That word/slang doesn't mean what you think it means.
And no, you can't personally redefine a word that has been in common parlance for half a century with a established meaning.

 No.276587

>>276579
I guess I was too autistic in my definitions. I do vaguely know people like that from my dealings; I just attribute that to being an average shitbag.

If we're using narcissism as a general label of someone to siphons energy off of others, the best thing you can do is just get away from them as quickly as possible unfortunately

 No.276595

>>276559
way to show you dont understand anything.

you think borderline personality disorder doesn't exist lmao silly silly.. "but its just a cluster of traits which cause problems in life" yes.. it is a personality disorder

 No.276596

>>276595
from the same people who officially say if you question the government too much you have a medical "disorder"

psychology is pseudo science

 No.276597

>>276595
He is just being a contrarian for attention as usual.
He does it nearly every day for every subject regardless of subject and will even flip flop positions just to make sure he is contrary to whatever he sees as the dominant opinion.
Made worse by him being intensely irrational and willfully ignorant on just about everything. That is because the subject and his position on the subject doesn't matter to him. Only the attention, replies he gets, and stroking his ego by declaring himself better then everyone else is all he really cares about. The topic be damned.

Learn to recognize his post. He makes sure to be identifiable, then just ignore his attempts at attentionwhoring. Remember that most of the time he doesn't even believe what he says and he is just trying to get a rise out of people.

 No.276598

>>276596
learn to read between the lines doofus. I am BPD smh

 No.276599

>>276598
everyone that isn't literally perfect has a "disorder" of some kind or another according to those quacks, who the fuck made them the arbiters of reality

 No.276600

>>276599
it is a psychosocial disability when serious just omg.. you don't get it you are so narrow minded. just shut up

 No.276622

>>276597
You've been baited so hard that you don't even realize it and only care about posts that you deem contrarian without even arguing your own opinion. Great job.

 No.276627

>>276622
So you fully admit to everyone here that you are indeed just a troll.
That works too.

 No.276629

>>276597
Literal schizo.

 No.276634

>>276627
The other guy is literally going around claiming to be borderline like some tumblrina and that's the person you think is the voice of reason. Either you yourself are baiting us or you need to take a break from the internet



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