No.152863[Last 50 Posts]
I know most people would ask why would anyone want to be a laughing stock town fool of the internet? But way back to childhood days, the only options I ever had were to be an ignored quiet mouse or a loud wacky cartoonish entertainment monkey. Mouse or Monkey thats it. And so I became a local celebrity of my school days. Sometimes I would get resentful that they were laughing at me, not with me, mocking me, teasing making fun. Like the lolcows of the internet. But after trying to be serious in college, and just being totally ignored, I realized that attention beats isolation, and its the only means of socialization I know. For the last few years I've retreated back into my mouse role, and have had almost no human contact.
Its just seems like the cringe lolcow role of the internet, is basically like being the local clownish celebrity that I spent my whole school years being. Its a way to turn the strange weirdness into a commodity. I see folks who are less weird and less comedic getting audiences of millions. Maybe I could do it. Although I have the flaw of speaking in a way thats so cringey its boring, rather than so cringey its hilarious. But it just seems like my old weirdo class clown cartooning but with an audience of millions. Maybe it was my calling.
And then some of these guys actually make money on this shit through youtube ads and patreon, being a cringe is literally their full time career.
Even if I did it "on purpose" I wouldn't like to be the laughing stock of a bunch of sadistic normgroids.
Sure OP I probably have as almost my whole life I dreamed of entertaining people through some form of comedy, be it as a standup comedian, sketch comedian or believe it or not as a pro wrestler.
Though as a Wizard I obviously gave up those dreams out of a combination of nihilism, apathy and just plain realizing I lacked the athleticism to be the kind of pro wrestling performer that I’d want to be to ensure people got their money’s worth from coming to see my matches.
I also quickly realized as a Wizard that I’m not nearly insane enough to become a pro wrestler due to the levels of chronic physical pain they accumulate throughout their bodies during their careers and the addictions they develop to hardcore pain killers, muscle relaxant drugs and harmful street drugs at times, all in order to cope with this physical pain and the psychological pain they often endure ontop of it from being away from home and their families for long periods of time.
Additionally most of them get on steroids not just because it provides them a good look for the TV cameras but also because they say it apparently helps them heal and recover from injuries faster than they otherwise would, but the problem for me with this is that I’ve heard once you get on steroids heavily you’ll need regular testosterone shots for the rest of your life since your balls will no longer produce it naturally.
So combined with all of that and the othet undesirable fact that basically all of them end up needing major surgeries during their lives to replace their knees, hips and often have their spinal discs and parts of their neck fused, I sadly had to say no to this career option.
I’m ultimately just a soft humble Wizard who does not want ti take the pain and hastle of all that and yet I greatly respect and admire those individuals who have done so for my entertainment and that of pro wrestling fans everywhere.
Considering you're posting on wizchan, you're already a lolcow. Wizchan is run by kiwi farm admins
I'm pretty sure that they don't really bother with this place anymore
Not at the moment, but interest does pick up when crabs do something of note. When that crab ran over some people in his van there was interest in wizchan from not just sites like kiwi farms but journalists too.
Ok but we're not actually famous individual lolcows
Cringe comedy is boring. I did have a vague idea of learning comical skills once, but using the means of interchanging bawdy impressions and soft humor. Exposing meme banality and faulty logic of those who are so obsessed with being normal on imageboards that it becomes caricature material.
Hipsters have largely ruined everyones ability to be taken seriously online with their irony garbage.
So even the most legitimate of lolcows is likely just considered a “Poe” tryhard by the faggot braindead millenial masses.
We have to make this place seem as depressing as possible. That stuff repels outsiders faster than gore.
I did the monkey thing once under pressure in a new situation and I still get flashbacks to it that make me hate myself immensely.
That was wizardchan. The last admin sounded too invested in the site to have been here only for some kind of digital human zoo. But whatever the current admin feels is anyone's guess.
No, because I never liked being the center of attention and I always hated when people laughed at me. Why would anyone be so in need for attention that they'd rather get negative one than be ignored? Do really you need other people do acknowledge that you exist?
>Have you ever thought about becoming a lolcow cringe comedy character?
Lol it's like some kind of kiwifarms lolcow recruitment drive. You know the Internet has gone to shit when lolcows need to be recruited from wizchan.
I don't think you can "become" a lolcow, the appeal of lolcows is that they unknowingly become one. Someone trying to be one would be too obvious.
One of my biggest fears is that I've become a lolcow my whole life has been cringe
I remember being scared to death that something I posted here would end up on the farms or that cripplechan board.
I always wanted to open up a youtube channel but I know I'm easy to mock, easy to rile up, technologically illiterate, and saying almost anything against the current internet zeitgeist would be enough for some sociopaths to mark and stalk you. That and almost everything I could make or say would just be a shittier version of something else.
If you’re worried about being S.W.A.T.T.E.D for the lulz you likely don’t have to be anymore or at least not as much since ZOG has begun cracking down on that stupid shit and just recently sent some moron to Nigger University for it.
So you should consider giving your youtube career a chance.
If a total charisma deficient faggot like pewdiepie can make it big I have no doubt any Wizard here who wants to try and reach for the big “brass ring” of youtube success, e-fame and a reasonable amount of sheckels to improve their living situation can infact accomplish that goal.
It's a lot of effort to be a lolcow. One thing all entertaining cows have in common is that they are prolific content creators. CWC claims to have invented sonichu around 2000, and he wasn't even noticed til around 2004. That's 4 years of making terrible content, plus nearly 15 more years after that to keep the internet interested in him. Of course, that's hardly all there is to it; there are plenty of low-functioning autists putting terrible sonic fanart up on deviant art who get pretty much ignored. Entertaining cows also have to live heavily within meatspace so they can have miserably failed social interactions and altercations with the law for the internet to laugh at. You have to go outside and confidently tell normalfags that you're great while being obviously not great, which opens you up to ridicule in real life as well as the internet.
I just don't think it's the sort of thing that anyone with an inkling of self awareness is capable of doing. To intentionally
be an entertaining lolcow, you ironically need chad-tier social skills and confidence, plus the fortitude of an ascetic Tibetan monk, and you can't ever tell anyone that you were merely pretending.
>>152948> you can't ever tell anyone that you were merely pretending.
Its not totally pretending since you can really be cringing and awkward, but you use it for laughs, and millions of views, and patreon bux
Its not like you're a 100% normie putting on an act, although Im sure plenty of lolcows, especially the ones on youtube are.
The other thing is if you want a steady flow of youtube/patreon bux you have to be PG-13 crazy, pushing the envelope, but not truly outrageously vile or you'll get dumped.
I've had a few chances on the internet to see these kinds of people by accident, I don't seek out this sort of thing. Sites like Wrongplanet are more depressing than /dep/ could ever be, being autistic myself makes me feel even worse about it. Really, I don't even feel that much pity, it's that kind of interest where you see a car wrecked by the side of the road. I've learned not to look too long, it's far too common to be a miserable mess and I don't want that kind of thing in my life anymore.
As for me, I used to watch comedians on comedy central as a kid. Didn't think about it much until I started listening to Joe Rogan Experience and that got me thinking that doing some comedy would let me feel more comfortable around people and give a feeling of accomplishment.
I've been writing for the past two years, all sorts of different things, and thinking about maybe doing an open mic and practicing an act. What's stopping me is going out in public and doing that, I have very strict rules about how I'm supposed to act around people and the idea of breaking that by going onstage feels too unfamiliar. Oneday, maybe.
As for your statement of 'why not profit off this internet fad thing?' I think you're missing the point of artistry. These people are famous because they got traction, the internet itself selected them and then got a steady stream of content from them for years, and these people are not successful or happy with life, in fact they are miserable.
Fads in the internet age are still fads. Making money isn't as easy as trying to replicate what people got easily- but what always makes money is doing things people don't want to do.
Elon Musk when he got to the states immediately took high-risk jobs for lots of pay. He knew he could get hurt, and that most people wouldn't do it, so he did it.
Society in a sense is a passing along of responsibility to other people. Those who can't become successful in any age are relegated to die as soldiers, oil workers, etc.
Implying that comedy is an 'easy' route is foolish. More art than ever is getting sold every year, but it's being sold by the top producers with the best marketing. It takes years of work and an understanding of what sells in the market to make money doing art- and yet you suggest this as an 'easy road' to money.
You want easy? Blue collar work, CNC machinery. In the U.S at least tuition is free if you sign on with a company, work isn't that hard, and the pay is enough to live well for a single person.
If you want to do comedy, you are talking about doing something very difficult that requires a great deal of talent, courage, and grit. You do not have these things if you are here. Either build them, or resign yourself to your fate.
>>152955>You want easy? Blue collar work, CNC machinery.
Theres some truth to that in that, all these schemes for easy money like Ebay or Youtube or even robbing banks, can hardly generate the $40k annual of a salaryman cubicleslave.
youtube paid $2000 for every 1 million views in 2014, not sure what it is today. A 1 million view vid is like winning the lottery for a nobody. And yet thats like 2 weeks of work at a lower mid-income normie job.
i try to become an lolcow but no one cares.
That's really the point though. If it's popular, then it's not sustainable. Popular things are popular because they captured the imagination of the populace, which changes all the time. By the time you say you want to be someone who is popular or do something popular, it's already too late to profit off that because the people who profited already did it.
It's not always the case, but the truth of society is that you need 1-to-1 jobs much more than 1-to-many jobs.
The jobs that are going up are all leisure based, fitness instructors, web design, coaching, caretaking. All that personal, physical attention where they need a warm body is the majority of the human population.
If you want to be successful you first have to be weird, and most weirdoes don't make it. The ones that do inspire people to believe that they can make money being weird, which is partly why the weirdoes got popular in the first place.
You're playing a losing game by betting on interesting and exciting things. Bet on boring.
so fucking weird seeing him there. I expected him to be a little kid like the others. He really is from another era.
I would say Christ couldn't have happened in any other era other than our very own.
(((some merchants))) charge about…
It dies as fast as it picks up.
>But after trying to be serious in college, and just being totally ignored, I realized that attention beats isolation, and its the only means of socialization I know.
They are braindead.
when a poster says he is or was in uni you can safely ignore whatever they have to say
I feel legitimate inferiority to Chrischan solely based on the fact that he has enough creative energy and drive to draw his sonichu comics. I have similar ideas but am too much of a lazy and narcissistic piece of garbage to ever just start drawing because I don't like my skill level, but am also too lazy to practice and improve.
I'm too much of a boring and lazy cunt to even be a lolcow
Did you post about this before? If you havent, don't worry you're not the only wizard who's like this.
Jeez, you're post reminds me of the kiwifarms harassment. Chris was a fun car wreck to watch but his bullies are more disturbing.
Sage for off topic
>attention beats isolation
Wizchan 2019, gentlemen.
Bottom left thumbnail looks cool, like a horror storyteller. Has he got videos with such content in addition to the look?
I was wondering if there was a way to actually make money on this. But becoming a weirdo e-celeb would probably piss off my parents, and NEETing probably has more value than lolbux
Being an obnoxious shitposter makes me paranoid I can't even have a conversation online without dread and fear much less be the next chris chan! I'm worried that I've become a LOLcow unwillingly just from the extremity of my shitposting
i am too self-conscious to make youtube videos. i would end up deleting them
to get 1 million views on a single video you have to be a giant normie.
theamazingatheist is a normie but he's not normie enough to get 1 million views a video
autists usually don't get views. they'll get like a few autistic followers and that's it
And even if by some miracle you do hit it big for a while, it takes constant escalation to maintain your place in the spotlight before they get bored with you and move on to the next one. A constant daily stream of material must be generated.
I briefly considered it after finding out about the sitting and smiling guy. But I couldn't think of anything that good myself.
i might have just accidentally become a future lolcow by posting a fake domestic terrorist threat on 4chan yesterday
a random anon took it seriously and submitted a tip to the FBI
I didn't know fat idiot was the same in German
why is he speaking in english in that weird way? is he really retarded?
worse than that, he's a juggalo
31 comment famous
Already am for demi
I remember this guy. From what i've seen he can be a dick to his dwindling twitch viewers but the amount of trolling he gets is baffling since he's not even chris chan level.
I was a cringe lolcow kid when I was in school, I wanted to kill myself everyday. I still get flashbacks to all the embarrassing shit I did and said.
no because i dont want to bring joy to the cookie cutter cretin that post in sites like lolcow or kiwifarms. you ever read a thread on those sites? everyone makes the same joke in succession because they're all vapid retards that get enjoyment out of repeating the most obvious shit about the easiest, z-grade internet fodder.
he gets more views on facebook than on youtube
Damn if that doesn't hit home. Self-confidence for me would be the biggest issue. But I think if you're a true natural, anon, then you could do it! Just look at Toru Yano or Colt Caban! Dude, even the "it's still real to me, dammit!" guy had a few wrestling matches.
I feel like I'm more interesting and comedic than these internet characters, but really I'm more boring
Honestly I have absolutely no ill feelings against Chris. He is honestly based in making retarded girly people in kiwifarms seethe.
I completely agree, Chris is a worthy case of scientific interest. The other anon mentioned how he is the best documented person who've ever lived and I honestly think it's true.
I always found Chris really endearing because of his creative side and his childlike approach to art (pick up some cheap coloring markers you have lying around the house and draw yourself hanging out with characters from games and cartoons you like.) It's the kind of thing that people lose during adolescence when their sense of judgement and self awareness develop. I read Sonichu in its entirety at least twice, there's something really unique about it where adult concerns and situations are approached in a very naive manner
Read about ONE, the author of One Punch Man and Mob Psycho 100
The guy is terrible at drawing but does it and constantly tries to get better anyway. Try to create a story that you personally will like for yourself and draw about it
I couldn't endure the criticism that Chrischan endures from being a lolcow. One thing I love about chan boards is my anonymity, I like just disappearing in the background.
Chris is only about ten years old mentally. He still does it because he never grew up.
I'd just have to start a twitch stream with webcam to be an instant lolcow. I just can't understand why anyone would ever voluntarily do that to themselves.
you become rich and famous
I feel like if I died today, it would be like I never existed. But if I at least became a lolcow, it would be like "remember that lolcow who killed himself"?
It might sound fun to play the role of an internet clown, but you should honestly know by now, especially as someone that browses this site (which is an explicit target of these kind of people), that the internet is home to incredibly mean & vicious who are more than happy to take the "joke" too far, and torment the shit out of you (often in real life) for an extra giggle. Do you see how "lolcows" tend to end up? It's not just social humiliation, they have their lives destroyed by endless fuckery, and once you open yourself up as a "lolcow", you are literally never left alone ever again.
This, there have been multiple examples of this in the past.
There was some fat German neckbeard who made youtube vids about heavy metal and was stalked by a group of people claiming they were going to kill him.
ReportoftheWeek, the food reviewer, claimed to have been stalked and harassed for several months, to the point where he basically started driving around the country to avoid it.
WingsofRedemption, the fat CoD streamer, has been fucked with in various ways. People have sent escorts to his house multiple times.
Various autistic speedrunners have had pizzas sent to their house every weekend, been swatted, or had their fetishes exposed to their parents.
Being a lolcow sounds fucking awful honestly. Maybe years ago it was innocent fun but now there are entire dedicated communities of assholes dedicated to just fucking with specific people all the time.
Its weird that they even harass people who vlog about "neutral" topics, calling their homes "fuck you for your food review"
Yeah it should be remembered places like 4chan used to be the home for psychos where they'd encourage people to kill their pets. I remember one thread where a succubus microwaved her housemates rat before putting it in a blender, setting it on fire, and posting images of it on her naked breasts. The internet has many more places for people like that to congregate and many more people brain-dead from drug abuse who are just aggressive retards now. The line between lolcow that's funny and lolcow they want to punish and hurt is a thin line. Failed-normans are a malicious crowd online.
Well, of course. RotW is a somewhat abnormal person (not even a "lolcow", really, he just dresses funny and is kind of awkward) and has meme-status, so they'll torment him all the same. It really has nothing to do with the subject of their videos, if you're slightly outside the norm or (over)react to provocation in abnormal ways, you open yourself up to these rotten people.
his voice reminds me of me
I notice some of the more "self-aware" lolcows who think of themselves as minor e-celebs, really work to cultivate their fan base and community. They don't just hang aloof as performer to be watched. They actively engage their community. Hosting their own forums or discords. Constantly chatting back and forth with their "fans".
Its not like hes the show, and they are the fans. But like they are one community, and he is both a member and participant in the community and also the object of it.
Don't reveal too much info about your real self, Chris chan and dragonlord are great examples of why you should not do this, hell even then theres a chance that someone might recognize you….
Revealing info about yourself doesn't really matter imo, unless you have some big and ridiculous personality no one will care enough. Say, if you are just NEET #5001 that lives with his mom and plays video games and browses the internet all day, why would anyone follow that, it's not funny or entertaining.
Your opinion is shit and even nobodies have had their lives totally destroyed just because some edgy asshole felt like it that day.
Better yet why not become an adult entertainer on cam?
I've not thought about becoming one myself, but I've definitely spent time thinking about how people like DSP (Darksydephil) and LTG (LowTierGod) live.
Like, assuming its an act, how do they live not being taken seriously by anyone, being treated like a clown by everyone, everyone looking down on you as idiotic scum of the earth
>>159790>even nobodies have had their lives totally destroyed just because some edgy asshole felt like it
Everything from getting people fired with lies, to swating, to harassing family members, to doxing to radical groups and lying thus sending crazies after them to physically harm them, to 24/7 abuse and harassment campaigns, to full on scams and fraud, and so much more.
How long have you used the internet? How are you not familiar with how monstrous and shit people can be with no provocation if they think they can get away with it.
Your argument doesn't really make sense, most people keep facebook and other social media pages containing detailed info on themselves available to the public and I don't hear about this ever being a problem. Maybe you just think yourself more important and interesting than you really are, in reality no one really cares about what you do enough to bother with all that crap you're talking about, they have their own lives to live and unless you personally did something to them I just couldn't see any of that happening. After all, most crimes that are committed are between people that know each other in some way, you rarely get the types like serial killers who just rag random strangers.
>>159807>I don't hear about this ever being a problem
Because you don't pay attention.
How many people do you actually interact with, how much news do you watch, how much e-drama do you see. This shit happens all the time. It is common. It isn't some obscure happening. Actually pay attention to the world around you.
It ain't about me because I am not retarded enough to put my info out there, but mistaking obscurity for security is some mac user level stupidity.
DSP is one of those people who will always find problems external to him rather than performing any sort of introspection. It's the game's fault when he loses, people who criticize him for being a dick to fans are just haters or trolls, anyone covering his retardation with the 'this is how you don't play' vids are lifeless losers. He exhibits it in pretty much everything he does.
the fact gossip and harrassment imageboards exist terrifies me
Nope, because that will be hell for me.
The fact that this place might be one saddens me
>>159595> There was some fat German neckbeard who made youtube vids about heavy metal and was stalked by a group of people claiming they were going to kill him.
That's Drachenlord, the german version of Chris chan. Thing is he took the trolling too far because he profits from it, he's in thr middle of being a normgroid and cringe. He wrote a book and has even a pornhub account where he uploads videos of himself fucking plush dolls, inserting stuff on his urethra, etc.
i think i have nearly been an inverse lowcow (if that is even possible) kek
it was the usual bullying, lying, stalking, etc… but i think it was MOSTLY due to politics. because i didn't had to change anything about my (non cringy) behavior, and i've been vindicated on everything i've ever said since then
people really really really hated me. it was really hilarious attending college and having everyone think that i was so dumb that i was worthy of contempt, and yet the reality was that i was better than everyone in that shit, but they just couldn't possibly realize that.
there was a dude that i'll never forget. he spent months and months throwing tantrums at me and i'd just ignore him, and then during a final test (that bailed him) he peeked over my test and noticed that one of his answers was the same as mine, so later when discussing about that with someone he said "even a retard can get that right", and little he knew that everything else on his own test was wrong cause he was indeed a retard. god that was so priceless.
but apart from funny shit like this. getting gratuitous hate is really annoying, that place was just too insufferable. you got to be a literal retard and have your brain in shutdown mode not to be affected by it in a negative way. being a public figure without all the perks of a real celebrity is a huge no no
>>160093>i think i have nearly been an inverse lowcow (if that is even possible) kek>i think it was MOSTLY due to politics
Dude you're a turbo lol-cow, nothing inverse about it
nah by definition i'm not. no one wastes their time doing any of that shit anymore. i don't exist to anyone
things completely changed
>>159816> anyone covering his retardation with the 'this is how you don't play' vids are lifeless losers
Yeah anyone who obsesses over lolcows like that are probably just as much of a loser
I guess anyone can become internet famous if you make yourself a local clown in an existing online community.
Some of my online projects are "famous" at least by viewcount and mentions. Its not directly tied to my IRL persona. But idk if tying it to the real identity of a fat NEET with glasses would add anything to it. Maybe my fame is meant to be anon. Live through the project not my stupid given name.
>>159807>Be a Christian baker>Going about my life happily>Gay guy comes in after going to fifty other shops first>"Can you bake my wedding cake?">"No, sorry that's against my religion but you could try these other shops, they're really good too">Complete shit storm erupts because you tried to live your life peacefully in accordance to your belief>End up in court multiple times with constant media smear campaigns
Yea this would NEVER happen. There clearly isn't a huge group of people on a constant witch hunt for others.
>Be into pheasant shooting>Go to shoot with some friends for a nice day out in the country>Bunch of antis turn up>Start trying to provoke people into fights or running in the way of people with loaded guns>Police refuse to remove them>Antis follow some people home>Try attempt to kidnap their dogs a few days later
Yep, never happened, not even once. Not a problem.
>Be an indie game dev>Working on a little game>Asked a question about trannies>Say you don't believe you can change your sex through hormones and surgery>immediately get bile spewed at you for years and outcast
These things happen you shut in retard. I once had someone try to dox me because I didn't like gay fanfics shitting up a forum.
wow, do you really expect me to reall all your greentext, you nigger?
Nail on the head.
I read your greentext, anon. Let me say that you could've gone on a lot more than that, and with much more 'mundane' people.I haven't heard the pheasant shooting story, though.
>>160261>Can't read>calls other people a nigger
Those stories aren't about random neets minding their own business being harassed, all of them are motivated by some action some normalfag took.
Animal rights faggots have been doing this for decades now. They try to bait shooters into attacking them so they will get assault charges and lose their gun licenses. >>160266
Not everyone's a NEET. And there's NEETs who get harassed too. Chris Chan wasn't asking for the shit he got just making stupid autistic sonichu videos.
Though, in my original post I believe I was talking about neets just minding their own business. Also, chris chan is a legitimate retard that pulls idiotically funny antics constantly, it's pretty clear why people follow him.
I was always the laughing stock of my group but I accepted it because it was either this or having no friends whatsoever
I know the only reason they hang out with me was because they could feel better about themselves and have someone to shit on who won't talk back
>>160260>These things happen you shut in retard.
Its clear you identify more with public normies who share your views, than with the Wizard lifestyle.
I'd off myself if I had to endure what some of these lolcows have to endure from groups like KiwiFarms. I just want left alone honestly. Most of the people they document are failed normalfags and wizards that don't have enough self-awareness to watch what they say online. I don't really feel bad for them, but I wouldn't want to be in their shoes.
Is it possible to make $30,000 a year being a lolcow?
[Last 50 Posts]
apparently weird YouTubers can certainly make some money.