Still going to this day
>>170975>The only thing i really regret is having wasted all those years without picking up an useful hobby, though. Fuck, i wanna be a freelance artist or musician instead of this soul sucking social wageslavery.
Iktf. I would travel back in time and slap videogames out of 14 year old myself.
Though if it makes you feel better, practicing a hobby early on won't guarantee you'll become a virtuoso either. It does grant a nice headstart, but i knew a succubus classmate who was a 8/10 singer. She's currently wageslaving and moved on to study something else. It's about situation.
I was always the same. Just wanted to live an easy life, never had any particular goals. I always just ended up answering shit like “astronaut” or whatever since whatever made the most money or what was ambitious was the most socially acceptable.
I was pseudo-normal in elementary school. Still quiet and shy, even in first grade, but each year there were a handful of kids I would play with, nobody was really mean to me and I never got in trouble. I went to a trash school so I was the smartest kid there by a mile.
Everything went to shit in high school. "A little shy" turned into completely dysfunctional levels of anxiety to the point where I had to stop at the bathroom before certain classes to throw up just so I could go inside. I didn't speak a word to anybody at all, maybe one brief exchange every month or two. Although at least I still wasn't bullied.
Eventually I got so bad I literally just couldn't make myself go into certain classes anymore and I ended up dropping out during 11th grade and finishing the last two years in a correspondence program at home.
I didn't enjoy it and it felt hostile but I wasn't particularly bullied. Occasiomal insults but i was very weak more than it being bad. I had friends but I was never close to them, mostly on the edge of the friend circle listening to a CD player. I was really like a depressed ghost but I did OK schoolwork so nobody cared, teachers forgot I was there. I didn't have the complete social alienation many here report. I had retreated online by the age of 12 so I didn't really need the real world and just waited for school to end and skipped a lot of school. The depression never really ended and I don't think about school at all, I don't consider my life before 21 years old as really relevant to my identity.
I left out a lot of stuff. I got bullied a lot in HS. I got suspended a lot for no reason in 8th - 10th grade. That's just what I could think up. I'm going to sleep now, good night.
When I was younger I was autistic enough to not be aware of my unpopularity and still did well academically.
As I grew up the autism increased my isolation and my grades went to hell also. My parents didn't like the grades slipping and my schoolmates didn't like me. There was nowhere to go. I think my depression and suicidal tendencies started from there.
I have a mostly unhappy life now but I'd still never go back to the supposed "golden years" of childhood.
My past kinda sucks.
I've already been pretty weird for others, naive and cried a lot during kindergarten and been know for one moment when succubi tried to kiss me, but I wasn't sure what she wanted to do with me so I was running away from her and I got laughed at this for a long time. I've been also called a succubus often, because I had long hair and not really short haired as other slav kids. The only good thing was that I was being protected by one normie, but good friend when someone tried to beat me, unfortunately he wasn't always around.
With such reputation from kindergarten, I was already known in middle school that I was that kid who you can easily bully and make him cry. Sadly my only friend was studying in other classes so I was on my own. No one wanted to associate with me, because I've been already bullied by bullies and been called a succubus a lot there as well. I've been both physically, verbally and mentally bullied and abused and because of it, I wasn't sure how to talk with people, so on top of being a weak, I was acting weird as well and had bad hygiene. My very own name transformed into a local word that was meant "weird". I've done a lot of really cringe stuff during middle school, but I somehow managed to be in a group of people, who liked to play vidyas and some of then even watched anime, but I was still considered weird among them and wasn't very welcome.
In high school, a lot of bullies left education so I could breath a little bit more easier. I've started to maintain hygiene and tried to go to sports to learn how to defend myself, but I was still had that shadow of bad reputation and just in general weirdness. At the very end of high school, I got respected by "some" people for trying to improve and etc.
In the end, I really hate school, it left me mentally unstable and I've been diagnosed with chronic/clinical depression. I'm not saying any specific stories, because I had too many of them that it all transformed into one messy bad memory.
My apologies if I had some grammar mistakes in this post.
Man, I really should've re-read my post and fix my grammar mistakes before posting. Sorry wizards.
It's ok, anon, it's perfectly readable. I've been in your shoes before too. Having long hair and being a short, scrawny guy in HS ended with a lot of people calling my a tranny or faggot and I got mistaken for a succubus a lot.
Thank you. Luckily for me I guess, I'm not short, but I've chest deformity that makes you pretty thin. I've seen that people have it worse, but I still got poked fun at it.
I'm really short, sadly. Only 150 cm. I'm not too bitter about it, though. It made me subject to a lot of harassment, but I only get sad about my height occasionally.
I see, well I hope you'll find some peace in life, you seems like a nice person, at least at first.
Thanks, anon. I try to be nice to others, but I've got a pretty bad problem with seeing myself as an awful person. I hope things look up for you too.
I didn't talk in elementary school except to answer questions and stuff. In middle and high school I had a few proto-friends. In middle school a place to sit in the lunch room was hard to find so I normally ate in the classroom. I used to be jealous of friendships but not of the things that people would do. I have always been a soulless husk I guess
>>158524>get trashcanned my first day of freshman year>get wedgied in front of a bunch of succubi and put in a nelson lock in P.E. while the bald cuck teacher ignores us>don't make any friends until my junior year>drop out senior year
It could've been better, glad it wasn't worse.
i got ostracized, never got included in games, etc. at one time there was a school trip and the quota was full. they got my name out of the list to make room for some other kid.
>elementary and middle school
mostly bullied, probably it was the worst time in my life.
never talked to anyone and people left me alone. i was a ghost.
wizghosts are comfy
What was your school life like?
Decent. Nothing bad aside from some embarrassing moments sometimes but everyone has them and no one remembers but you.
Was it hell?
No. In some ways it was preferable to life afterwards.
Shame i'm such a ghost i can't even get noticed here unless if i samefag a bit
Did someone say something?
Taking weight class instead of basic PE in high school was the best decision.
I was tired of the endless onslaught of bullying and being skinnyfat sucked.
By the time I hit junior year it had paid off, since people finally started leaving me alone.
Ironically the only people who would try to start shit with me after that were scrawny wizkids.
Completely awful and mediocre. Foids were insufferable, norps either treated me as a subhuman retard or ignored me while shittalking me.
Spent elementary and high school in a boys-only school which meant I only started being around non-relative succubi regularly during college. I never learned to talk to succubi casually and never had many male friends either.
In high school there was no bullying where I went to. So it was pretty good overall. I could even manage to crack some jokes because of that, something I rarely do. Nice times, but I know I was lucky.
I probably won't be writing anything that differs that much from the other stories here but I'll give it a try.
For some reason, my parents decided to send me to this, even though it's not compulsory in my country. In my country, elementary school starts at age 4/5 so I went to this place at age 2-3, so it was more like a daycare than an actual school.
Supposedly, I literally never spoke while there and the caretakers who worked there actually thought I was mute. I have never been diagnosed with anything because I don't want to but I have heard that many people with autism will go through a phase like that in their early childhood.
I was a very introverted and anxious child. I never wanted to go school and for the first three years, I would go insane and cry a lot on the first day of the school-year. I would often wet my pants because of the retarded rule they tend to have in elementary schools that you need permission to go to the toilet and can't go during specific classes. You'd think that after wetting myself nearly every week, they'd make an exception for me but no. They probably thought I was too stupid or lazy to not piss my pants and wanted to build up discipline. Later, I found out that an extremely weak bladder in early childhood is often a side-effect of being circumcised, which I an.
>Middle school/High school
In my country, these two are combined into one school. My country also has different levels at secondary education, which will determine if you can go to university later on or if you have to go trade school/community college. There's kind of a stereotype that only the dumbest children go to anything but the two highest levels. I myself did the highest level for my first 2 years but eventually ended up on a lower level, which caused my parents to get mad at me and take away my pc, the only thing that could give me enjoyment in life at that point. The fact that I ended up on a lower level with people that I perceived to be dumber than me also hurt my pride a lot, after having been praised as a 'gifted' kid for years who would 'go places' and get some well-paying job. Add to that, that I also was no longer in the same class as the few friends I had.
I was very depressed and actually wanted to kill myself, not specifically because of school-related stress but also because at that point, it didn't seem like I had anything going for me in my life. I had no friends. The only people that I genuinely trusted and loved as a child, my parents, now seemed to hate me. Of course, I had no luck with succubi. And I didn't have high expectations for the future.
Looking back, it seems like public education is programmed to mentally break anyone but the most docile, submissive people. Rather than valuing intelligence and creativity, it expects only that you are highly extroverted and willing to dedicate all of your free time to memorizing pieces of text. I got absolutely nothing of value out of it and I am glad that it is over.
Had extreme excema and hayfever for my entire early childhood alongside bad anger issues and all the social developmental shit that comes with spergoid binary coded brain disorder. Let me take you through:
Years K-2: felt like a decade and was at minimum self esteem almost throughout. Got teased for constantly being plagued by allergic reactions to pure fucking thin air, nobody was interested in being close friends and with a Christian family this early experience doomed me to cold and bitter hatred towards God, which I cannot shake off. Got beaten up a few times but not too much, and got into plenty of trouble for fighting and misbehaving (disassociation/zoning out in class, leaving the classroom, spitting in people’s mouths)
Year 3-6: When I moved from Victoria to NSW (Ausfag), got to skip year 2, which would have ramifications in HS. Anyway, anger issues escalated quickly, and with only 60 kids in the whole school my reputation flatlined and people of all walks of life lined up to wind me up and see what stupid shit I would do. Got a fowl mouth and quickly learned the more crass slurs, would punch myself in the mouth and hit wooden boards in the schoolyard out of frustration. Threatened suicide many times but never planned.
Year 7-10: Underwent some drastic changes in year 6: ditched common empathy, sense of self importance, stopped responding to negative talk, learned to degrade people’s self esteem in an argument, would not grow attachment outside of established friend groups, fine tuned a sense of humour for normies and humans, started to plan my future and avoid pitfalls beyond college (loans, living in cities, consumerism, bills) and things gradually went on the up.
Too tired to type the rest, but things are going better now, becoming a junior financial analyst and planning to become 100% self sufficient by 35.
In college, I feel like a goddamn robot in remote learning.
School was alright but my current mental state has sure made my college life hell.
I really hated the first 4 grades of the elementary school, it was like hell, and I don't remember too much from it (gypsies bullied me a lot). I know it was crap. The 5-8 I attended in another where the community was better. I missed that. High school was shit, I got bullied a lot, even by the end I was called virgin by chads. University was good, except I sucked with a lot subjects.
Dropped out of highschool twice and finished around 3 years after my peers. I was already somewhat of an outcast when I first dropped out but changing schools obviously didn't improve the situation either. Just kept my head down, did my work and stayed out of trouble.
College hasn't changed much either, besides being forced to interact with others more often due to mandatory group assignments. The pandemic has improved things drastically though, at least I don't have to leave my home or work with other students. That being said, I've never felt as stupid and close to resigning as right now. That being said I have absolutely 0 plans what to do if I don't make it, so I somehow have to get through. (b.s. computer engineering)
I read it. How old are you (answering approximately is fine) because when I was in 5th grade, people weren't obsessed with sex at all. It sounds terrible. Shit's fucked up.
You mentioned becoming a recluse in 8th grade. I just realised that 8th grade is like a turning point look at these other stories:>>163446>>159947>>158921
(until 8th grade, so something changed?)>>171626
I'm not sure why 8th grade is like that.
Here's my story.
My country calls "grades" years, from Kindergarten, then Year 1 to 12.
Also, I need to note that both my parents had degrading mental health the entire time, my mother plateaued with this, but my father spiralled down. And constantly had explosive rage and anger over anything, on top of being extremely unreliable.
I was bullied so badly in K-6 (Primary) school that I repeated a year, year/grade 2. I'm still angry at the teacher that made me repeat. It wasn't because I was falling behind in grades, my work was good. IT was because I 'wasn't socializing enough'. I had 3 friends, and I was really happy with them. But repeating that year meant that I was basically totally cut off from them because year 3s go to completely different part. GREAT JOB. A kid isn't socialising enough so you CUT HIM OFF from his friends. I still kept in contact with 2 of them after that, because they were good friends. But it was harder. I don't have contact with them now.
Recently, I saw a photo of me when I was 5 or 6 when my grandfather was taking me to school, and I already looked depressed, looking down at my shoes while my sister and grandfather are smiling at the camera. 2 boys tried to molest me (on separate occasions) at that first school I went to.
After that I changed schools, got bullied terribly at the next school, I literally had sloppy dog shit smeared on me. I made 1 friend there, but I didn't keep in contact with them, because I left after that year was done.
The 3rd school I went to was hellish. Pretty quickly all the succubi-in-training started treating me like shit, it was hell. If you've ever been treated this way, I'm sure you can relate. It was more than the normal disdain for someone nerdy. It was extremely malicious. It was like I was made of shit, they wouldn't touch me, any of my stuff, constant looks of disgust, brutal verbal abuse. I tried to kill myself when I was 11 due to this. It got so bad that after a year and a half a teacher did something. After that it basically stopped, but I just wanted them to leave me in peace. I found out it's because shortly after I joined the school someone had spread a rumour about me, but none of them could remember what it was, they just bullied me constantly due to it having become a culture there.
Year/Grade 6 had some light bullying but I was already supremely fucked up by this time.
Year 7 was when highschool started. Bullying continued, especially as these twin boys from my first school were there and they just decided to bully me again. I attempted too. I'd never done anything to them, ever. I'd never really done anything to anyone really. I tried to keep to myself. Soon I just started walking out of class. By year 8 I was walking out of class even more often and spending time in the school library. Half way through the year I stopped going to school. They couldn't motivate me, I was too depressed. I did get out of home, I'd ride my BMX bike to the town library to get away from my crazy parents.
(there's Year 8 mentioned again!)
So I regard year 7 as my last real schooling. There was an attempt at distance education for what would have been grade 9, but that failed because my own father bullied me. Screamed at me for not doing work, when I had done the work. So I just stopped doing it. he couldn't bully me to do it more.
I went to hospital later that year, they said that I couldn't live at home. There were some more attempts to go to school but I'll gloss over those, I left home at 15 to live with some foster parents, but after 9 months they sent me back to my real parents. I then tried again in year 10-11, but didn't complete anything and left school mid way through year 11 to go to a nearby technical/vocational college here we call TAFE. I then spent the next 7-10 years trying to complete courses there and failing every time. The first time I only failed at the end, but I didn't really realise it but I had huge PTSD from all my school experiences. I was actually damaging myself even more by forcing myself to go to this college. (The government also wanted me to go). So each year I'd drop out sooner and sooner, because my anxiety was growing stronger and stronger.
Now I have a crippling traumatic complex around school. I can't go back there, it sends me insane. I signed up for university this year, got accepted for a course that was 3 months away, and became such a giant stressball that I had to drop out with only a month before it started, because in the 2 months up until that point I'd become such a gigantic ball of stress that I was impossible to be around, I was very quick to anger too. I had to tell the university that I couldn't start the course. As soon as I did that I instantly felt relief, but it's taken me over a month to even 'recover' from that. I was in fight-or-flight mode the whole 2 months, complete with nightmares and tension headaches.
School was hell. I'm COMPLETELY uneducated in a time when there's 0 opportunities for people without educations, and I can't even get an education. TEN YEARS. TEN YEARS OF TRYING COLLEGE. FAILURE. Will it take me 10 years to sort this horrible anxiety complex out? I can't even express it; it's just a horrible dread that consumes every waking and sleeping moment when I know school is in the future. I can't even imagine what formally 'knowing stuff' is like.
I think puberty is the turning point and where social hierarchies naturally develop based on sexual and social characteristics. Some succubi develop larger breasts and ass early so they get more attention and popularity; same thing happens with some guys becoming more aggressive and athletic. Naturally, the ones that win the genetic lottery start dunking on the "losers" and reap all the social benefits.
Self loathing since I was a child meant I never tried once to do anything but sleep in school until dropping out in highschool.
I never got to college due to reasons.
I did not even want to drop out bt the universe chose for me.
I was always strange and bullied as a child even by those younger than me but for some reason it changed when I was 13-14.
I still got treated weird and bullied in a sense yet I did not actually care about being weird and embraced who I was.
I was always depressed but as it was part of who I was for my entire history I never related to the emo kids in school and thought they were faggots although the fashion for succubi was cool.
I remember I had one much older teen bully me on my way home daily when I was a still in elementary school and it was very important for me as I came to understand how your actions that harm others continue on and spread throughout the world like a domino effect.
The teen who bullied me was a loser as well who was bullied.
Normalfags claim that bullies are always bullied but this is not true at all however in this case it was.
I started doing drugs by 12 and drinking all to self medicate.
Life never got good but I never tried so I cannot complain.
I would describe myself as a normie in many ways yet I expect wizards to disagree I just feel my ability to blend into the normalfag world is something that a lot of you do not have.
The world is not worth blending into
I'm not particularly interesting, but either way
I don't remember much here, but I think it went OK. I do think I wasn't as connected with the others but there was no reason for worry back then
This time is pretty much the root of all my problems. You see, I was the kind of kid that started speaking relatively late, but when I did, it was pretty much full sentences. People did NOT like the fact I was ahead. Not so much the kids, but teachers and parents.
A little background: we used to live in this village close to the city. It was a pretty normal village, except for that fact that the northern part (everything above the train tracks) was really posh. One of the richest villages of the country, even. Of course, we lived in the pretty average southern area. The school, however, was in the north. Big mistake.
Parents of other children complained and told my parents they were from the wrong zip code, and teachers did not know what to do. This also rubbed off on students. Pair that with the fact I was a pretty bad autist and yeah, I left that school within 3 years. At that point I had already developed quite a disconnect with other children, and got tardrage outbreaks often..
>Primary, episode 2
I was put on a christian school in the southern area of the village. In general, that school handled me far better - the teachers etc were OK with me. However, my mental situation got worse. Thinking back at it, I was probably unsufferable. Not only was I generally an autist and had tardrage outbreaks, I also constantly replicated computer sounds out loud. I don't know why - perhaps just a lack of connection w/ the outside world. I was bullied a ton, and the friends I thought back then I had, in retrospect, didn't care much about me. Over time, this school kinda turned me from a relatively extroverted autist into a very introverted one. While that would seem a good development, I'm not sure it improved me mentally. By 10yo I'm quite sure I was aleady very suicidal (I mean, I tried) - a anorexic sister didn't help either.
Of course, I was given the "gifted kid" treatment and placed on a gymnasium, and pretty much failed instantly. While honestly I'm sure I would be able to pick up the subjects quickly had I put in effort, I simply didn't have the energy for it at that point. I failed gymnasium, and was moved to a different school at a slightly-lower-but-still-high level, where I made 0 progress either. Parents had me put on cram schools, which just made the burnout far worse. I got psychosis somewhere around that time. I was moved to yet another school, where I did make some progress, all the way up to the final year, at which, week 1, I already couldn't go. It simply wasn't happening anymore.
fucking boring innit
>>174224>You see, I was the kind of kid that started speaking relatively late, but when I did, it was pretty much full sentences. People did NOT like the fact I was ahead. Not so much the kids, but teachers and parents.
What age are you talking about anon?
My memory of being young has largely withered away but when I read this I thought to myself perhaps you live in a place full of developmentally challenged people.
Do kids not speak in full sentences aside from when they are still fully retarded?> Not only was I generally an autist and had tardrage outbreaks, I also constantly replicated computer sounds out loud.
keked irl desu.
As an adult do you still feel the need to do autistic things?
I do what some may say is autistic for fun like trying to dance pretending I am an anime succubus and talk in meme speek for fun but have no issues socially interacting normally if I choose to.
An example would be picking up a mango while dancing slightly and saying to someone.>num num bigu mang-goo num num
I do not think your story was boring wiz. Normalfags have boring ass origin stories as they are nearly all replications of themselves without anything unique.
Elementary: Uneventful. Grades were good, top notch even since I received a few awards and such. Never talked to anyone I didn't have to.
Middle School: The stress takes hold. I ended up suffering panic attacks which exacerbated my pre-existing asthma. Ended up being home schooled for the latter half of 6th and all of 7th grade before finally returning for 8th. Did the absolute bare minimum, no home work whatsoever only class work and tests but still managing to pass with a B- in most classes. Any attempts at interaction with others fails spectacularly including the first attempt at female interaction which leads to public humiliation, ridicule and a fall down a flight of bleachers.
High School: No fucks can be given anymore. Skipped most of 9th so I had to repeat it and just quit on the second go. Got my GED within two months of leaving since it was ridiculously easy for what it is.
Post School: Self imposed isolation for over a decade. No work, virtually no contact with others, sometimes months spent without leaving the house. This has only recently changed do to extenuating circumstances but I still have no job, no license, no friends, and no interaction outside of family and the occasional cashier asking if I want a receipt.
>>174225>What age are you talking about anon?
Mmmm, don't remember exactly. It's more that while other kids were still reading letter by letter out loud, I could already read and speak with ease, knew the alphabet proper, etc>Do kids not speak in full sentences aside from when they are still fully retarded?
It tends to take a bit, at least. Apparently, for me that time in which you only speak words was very short, and within a short time I could also hold conversations and read signs, even before going to school>As an adult do you still feel the need to do autistic things?
I still do it quite a bit, albeit more in my head. I tend to spend a lot of time every day just playing UI animations and their sounds in my head. I use my hands to do it too, I'm glad nobody can see me doing that nowadays.. That's probably where my skill in UI design comes from as well, I guess
>>174160>I read it. How old are you
I'm 22 now.
Yeah, by that age I could see my future, but couldn't stop it and nobody took my fear seriously.
Society knows what to do with those succubi, and chads. Now our society is so normcore that wizards and their potential are just ground up and tossed aside.
In the past there were places for spergs an other weird people, you'd go to a monastery to be with your own kind. There, they made some of the best beer in the world, not to mention preserving knowledge and other activities. There was purpose.
I started puberty first in my class (I was the eldest) was still at the bottom of the hierarchy and bullied by everyone else
I'm in the same boat as you.
I just never had a real goal or any sort of plan for my life.