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File: 1590518697919.png (143.05 KB, 874x783, 874:783, tou.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.168814

Not sure if this belongs here or on /dep/ but I'll take a shot here:
Do you have any tics? Just vocal tics, just motor tics, or maybe you have Tourette's Syndrome and have both kinds of tics? How has this affected your life? Have you been shamed and bullied because of it? Or maybe you don't have this problem but you've known people who do?

I've had tics ever since I was in grade school. Mostly vocal tics. One day I got sick, I had to keep clearing my throat, and then I would make a short "hmm" grunting sound to test if my throat had cleared. But I kinda just never stopped making these noises. Over the past decades I've lost some tics, gained some new ones, had old ones come back, just a never ending evolution of annoying sounds that I subconsciously feel are necessary to do.

I've never been officially diagnosed, usually this is diagnosed in kids, but my parents never could afford to take me to doctors for stuff. Instead they would just yell at me, or insult me, or mock me; I hate the mockery most of all, why did my shameful grunt compel others to imitate the grunt with a stupid fucking grin on their face? My parents, siblings, anyone nearby when I was at school, it's so fucking demoralizing. At least my parents didn't hit me when I did it (though my brother did). At this point as an adult, an official diagnosis won't really do anything to help me, not like there's a cure or anything.

I really don't know what to expect posting this here. I tried searching related terms but I don't think I found any mentions of this in any active threads. If you post about this anywhere else on the internet, literally ANYWHERE, there will ALWAYS be at least ONE person who says something along the lines of, "I hate people like you, you just want attention, I beat up people in school like you and feel no remorse, I would kill you right now if I could". Why does this incite such rage? Every single time I realize that I am making some stupid sound I hate myself. Every single time I decide "I'm not going to make that noise ever again" but then in a few minutes I notice that I'm doing it again. I'm constantly worrying if someone heard me make some stupid noise. Some people, like those who tell others "Just don't be depressed", refuse to accept or just can't understand that it's a neurological disorder, it's not just "a habit", it's not some little quirk we decided to adopt to stand out. They say "just stop making noises". It's an urge that will never ever go away. You feel an urge to blink and you can decide not to blink but the urge gets stronger and stronger. Now some smartasses will say "uhm but sweetie blinking is actually necessary" but that is EXACTLY THE POINT - this disorder causes your body to FEEL like it IS as necessary as blinking. You may know it isn't, but on a subconscious level, you will never feel any relief until you make your stupid noise!

 No.168815

I've had tics when I was a teen, but I was never formally diagnosed with anything related to them. They eventually vanished into my 20's. Most of them were related to my facial muscles, blinking and moving my nostrils.

I did get a temporary tic last year after a very stressful week with college seminars that made me want to kill myself. It lasted for a couple weeks and this time was related to neck muscles.

I do catch myself making some involuntary noises in certain specific situations (such as when I'm in the bathroom), but I don't think that really qualifies as a tic.

 No.168829

i have to itch my nose every 5 minutes because it feels like a hair is poking. also at any given moment parts of my body are itchy, it's not real, it will never go away, i just have to focus on something. i dont think those are tics but the urge to act on them keeps getting stronger so instead of doing it every 2 seconds like that video it's more like 2 or 5 minutes

 No.168855

I hate when I'm driving somewhere and realize I'm grunting and croaking up a storm. I guess I should "get it all out" while I'm alone like that but I'd still rather not do it at all. Especially if I've had a stressful day, as soon as I'm all alone, I sound like a retarded cave man… "hmmph. urrk. uhhh uhh uhhh. eh eh eh." Throw in a few short whistles in there.

Lately my most embarrassing sound I make in public is this weird hollow whistling sound. Basically, look up what a mourning dove sounds like. When I try to suppress all my other tics in public, I unintentionally coo like this at times. It sounds hilariously stupid and made up. I guess you have to have a sense of humor about it if you live with it.

>>168815
>It lasted for a couple weeks and this time was related to neck muscles.
What exactly would your neck do here, if you don't mind me asking.
>I do catch myself making some involuntary noises in certain specific situations (such as when I'm in the bathroom), but I don't think that really qualifies as a tic.
I frequently read that sometimes symptoms of OCD and Tourette's Syndrome can be confused with each other. Maybe rather than tics, you have (had) compulsions?

>>168829
Even if you don't have this condition, it sounds like you can relate to it, at least.

 No.168868

>>168855
>What exactly would your neck do here, if you don't mind me asking.
I kept contracting my neck muscles, I couldn't keep myself from doing it. It ended up giving me a lot of discomfort and pain, but after I was able to relax for a few weeks it just went away. I assume it was the anxiety/stress that caused it, and maybe I'd have something longer lasting if I went through more chronic stress/anxiety. One of the seminars was very stressful to the point I walked out depersonalized and I couldn't come back to normal until the next day. I really hate university and I've dropped out previously, but if I don't take it seriously this time my father will kick me out of home.

>I frequently read that sometimes symptoms of OCD and Tourette's Syndrome can be confused with each other. Maybe rather than tics, you have (had) compulsions?

I definitely fit at least some criteria for OCD. I've always been extremely disgusted by other people's bodily fluids, smell, breath, etc, and I have to wash myself or anything if I feel it's been exposed. I also have to have a separate glass for drinking water (or anything else) because I can't get myself to drink from one that people already used. I'm currently on the verge of going insane because I'm isolated with my parents at home and my father does not respect my limitations. I've also had some obsessive thoughts related to cause and effect, but I sort of made a contract with myself that rendered them all invalid, as dumb as that may sound.

 No.169700

Lately I've "adopted" a new sound. With my mouth closed,I click the back of my tongue against the roof of my mouth, and it sounds kinda like a car's turn signal. I can change the pitch by opening and closing my jaw.

I keep finding myself "clicking" the tune of random songs, or just doing it several times quickly, only feeling satisfied if I smoothly get like 8 in a row. I try to stop but then five minutes later and I'm clicking the tune the Rocky theme or something.

 No.169742

My tic makes me do the fascist salute, of course it brought misunderstandings, I was nicknamed Dr Strangelove, but I don't want to care, it's just how it is with me.

 No.170494

File: 1594537846754.jpg (36.63 KB, 711x620, 711:620, Eal1RiNWoAIa6N_.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

I have it and it's seriously the bane of my existence. My tics are probably one of the big reasons that I'm such a shut-in, and the only really seem to get worse as time goes on and not better.

I have two tics involving facial expressions, one that's a smile and one that's a sort of weird grimace, though the grimace doesn't happen so much anymore.

The worst are the vocal tics though. I am one of unlucky few who is compelled to say actual words, which is unbelievably embarrassing. Sometimes I just repeat what I hear other people say or say a random word taken from whatever I'm thinking about at the time, but a lot of the time I just say "shut up" or "kill yourself". The volume varies too, sometimes I just have to mutter it quietly, but other times I end up shouting it.

It's really awful, because obviously if anyone sees a guy walking down the street repeating "shut up" to himself, they're just going to assume that he's hearing voices or something. I've had so many experiences when I'm walking somewhere and muttering to myself while I think I'm alone, when all of a sudden I look up and see a cute succubus walking not too far away, clearly looking uncomfortable.

It's humiliating and I hate it, but I don't know what to do. I've been sent resources by doctors about how to manage it, but nothing's ever seemed to work for me. At this point I guess I don't really have any hope of having a normal social life. I just feel bad for my parents for having to deal with having such a waste of a son.

 No.170495

>>170494
So, at the sort of occasion like when you were caught by that femme, are you able to halt or do you keep repeating shut up even after you spot her.
Saw some docu about a guy with really bad tourettes a while ago, the only time the guy got some peace was when he played guitar, probably due to the level of immersion it required.

 No.170496

>>170495
I'm able to hold it back if I focus on doing it. It's really uncomfortable though, and once my concentration slips, it won't be long before it starts up again.

If I'm actively talking to someone it doesn't happen, strangely enough. I've read it's got something to do with that part of your body already being used for something, though I wish there was some way to block it all the time without having to be making noise.

I hope that maybe I can find a hobby that that helps me like guitar helps that guy, because even when I'm relaxed, my thoughts will inevitably start to wander and settle on something that makes me feel sad or anxious, which triggers the tics to start again.

Do you have a link to that documentary, by the way? Sounds like it might be interesting.

 No.170497

>>170496
Maybe documentary wasn't the right word but some sort of clip at least. Hope you can get it sorted, ganbare.

 No.170511

>>168814
If you can't help, then wreck it down.
Do those things on purpose, in front of whoever, mercilessly, like raping your own sense of shyness, like raping your mind.

Insist until not caring anymore, then your subconscious may reveal whatever could be behind, or at least the beggining of some path to it.

Stop complaining to psychos, just be ready against them.

>They say "just stop making noises". It's an urge that will never ever go away.


Stop minding, let them get annoyed, do them louder!!! Do them even when unrequested! - - - Resuming: act with some love to thyself.

 No.170531

>>170511
This is probably the stupidest thing I have ever read on this site. I feel like I lost brain cells reading it.

Do yourself a favor and stop talking about things you don't know anything about.

 No.170532

>>170531
It worked to me. why would you either apply your case to others if it cannot be of use?

 No.171150

>>168814

I don't have ticks but I do stutter, and it's really embarrassing to have your body not do what you want it to. I end up looking like a retard at every introduction since I'm not able to get sounds out when saying my name.
>LOL just say it how hard can it be! Just do it!
NO YOU FUCKING STUPID BITCH THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS.
As for how it affected me, about 1 to 2% of people(ie men) stutter. Out of a random 100 people how many of them do you encounter that stutter? Yea, I bet you they're not living fulfilling lives full of friends and loved ones. I just learned to treat it like some genetic disorder, like if I was unlucky enough to be born with a screwed up face or unable to use my limbs. Genetics suck and some of us pull the shitty card.

 No.171151

When I am at home I talk to myself, mostly insulting me and random gibberish, feels like taking of pressure with a release valve.
When I go outside I start trembling mostly in the upper body and neck, also getting stiff, caused by people walking by and loud noises. When I hear a loud noise that others percieve as background noise like traffic I might jump like someone scared me. I try to go outside as little as possible because of that and often under the influence of alcohol to numb myself. Lately subhuman neighbours like to rev their engine and do all kinds of shit with their car to make a lot of noise.

 No.171286

File: 1596149669512.gif (2.51 MB, 286x258, 143:129, 1593617392567.gif) ImgOps iqdb

>>168855
>hmmph. urrk. uhhh uhh uhhh. eh eh eh

 No.171499

File: 1596590603094.gif (535.18 KB, 360x280, 9:7, southparktics.gif) ImgOps iqdb

I've had tics as long as I can remember. My earliest ones back in preschool were blinking really hard and frequently, and rubbing my fingers together until they were raw. My parents used to have to put cream and bandaids on them every night. Head shaking tics started at 7 or 8 and have come and gone ever since. I can't stop even after giving myself a headache. Eye rolling on and off from age 9. Lots of vocal tics, some grunts, some incoherent whispery sounds w/ my lips - those often attracted death threats from others during exams. I had to keep doing them even after giving myself a sore throat. Others are more complex, like "flexing" my left shoulder/back a certain way, facial movements, contorting my left ankle, etc.

Official diagnosis is mild autism. Was never diagnosed w/ Tourettes. The neurologist used to say they might go away when I became an adult. He hasn't said that in 7 years now. Luckily, this medication I'm on reduces them. If it didn't cause an assortment of other problems in exchange, I would up the dosage.

 No.171500

>>171499
Also diagnosed with autism, also have tics. What medication are you on?

 No.172524

File: 1599180411526.jpg (49.33 KB, 720x714, 120:119, 1596391860615.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

Having Tourette's is fucking Hell.
I remember wanting to die everyday as a kid.

 No.172534

>>168814
>One day I got sick, I had to keep clearing my throat, and then I would make a short "hmm" grunting sound to test if my throat had cleared

I know exactly what you're talking about, I have this too.

 No.172564

>>172534
Oh god. I have a bad memory. One time, this happened in a lecture hall and some guy got pissed off at me for it and was like "can you keep it down?"

 No.172889

>>169700
I really didn't think this tic would stick but it's been nearly 3 months and it has only gotten worse. I'm getting extremely stressed over this clicking sound. I do it at work and every time I think "dammit stop it, I'm just going to not do this, it's so stupid". But a few minutes later I click my tongue again.

And my tongue has gotten stronger, I guess it's exercise for it… I can click a lot faster in succession, change pitch easier, and have a wider range of pitches to choose from. But that just means I end up clicking along with the music to anything I watch or play and I just want this thing to go away. I keep taking the mindset "that's it I'm done, I'm just going to focus and not do it" even though I know it doesn't work. I should know better since I've lived with tics my whole life, but it never fails to make me hate myself and make me miserable. I can't just stop, if I try, I end up doing other tics in place of it, and the longer I go suppressing it, the more tense and anxious I become.

 No.172892

I have asperger's and one little eye-pointing tic that I do only a few times a year when I think about it. I remember clearly when it started in middle school walking outside one morning. Pointed my eyes far in one direction then felt the need to point them the other all the way to balance it out. Then I kept going back and forth trying to make it feel balanced.

I do pace a lot and sometimes do stereotypical autistic behavior shaking my head a bit. I used to pace during work even haha nobody said anything about it. I worked two machines and when both of them were busy and I had nothing to do I paced, 5 seconds every 20 seconds or so. When I pace I imagine that my brain waves are so strong they're going through my whole body.

 No.172904

>>172524

How does it feel now?

 No.173117

Do you think Tourette syndrome can be caused by vaccination?

 No.174922

>>172904
Will maybe eventually commit suicide, but I'm too chicken shit because I'm scared of going to Hell.

 No.174974

>>172892
I have the exact same tic with the balance thing and it apply as well when i touch something i must touch it with my other hand to balance. Never took the test and my parents just ignore it when I talk about it I suffered from bully at school because of this. I am happy to see I am not the only one to have this type of disorder



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